I'm confused. You said the final score in the game was 132 to 78, but the game ends when the snitch is caught. Catching the snitch earns you 150 pts. So someone should have at least 150, but no one does. Typo? Report Review
So...does this mean Sirius is the secret admirer? Interesting.
I love jerky Frank. It's a fresh view of him in fanfics. And I love picturing Reese Witherspoon as Alice, because she's used in your banner. And Milo Ventimiglia as Frank. Makes life fun. Or avoiding school work. lol Report Review
That was cute. :] Though, it's a little unsettling since you're tying Last Christmas into this. I hope Sirius doesn't die if what I'm thinking is going to happen is going to. . . . *gulp*
This chapter was pretty quick, so I think it would be an even more enjoyable read if you added more details. For instance, when Lily went to interrogate Sirius, you could explain how she was feeling as she clambered down the stairs. My second fanfiction was slightly better than my first, but what helped me a lot was getting a beta with no remorse to read over a few chapters and just tear it to shreds. It makes you think.
In your summary, you wrote you were using Last Christmas by Ashley Tisdale, but what she sang was a cover to Wham!'s song Last Christmas. :] I haven't heard her cover, but I'm a huge fan of Jimmy Eat World's.Author's Response: Hey thanx soooooooooo much for the review! I love getting reviews! Yes i know that she did not sing the original. And no Sirius is not going to die. Don't worry. : ) Well, I'm a bit stuck as far as the next ch. so I'm waiting for ideas. Hope it'll be up soon though!
-marauderluverz Report Review
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