Reading Reviews From Member: Tonks1247
313 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Tonks1247Actions Speak Louder than Words: Brutal Agony: Rose POV

6th October 2015:
Beth….I don’t what you’ve just done to me but I am a total and complete mess. Like, need a Kleenex, crying so hard I’m curled up and the couch and likely to get a weird look from my father when he walks in the house. I’m so heartbroken about what just happened in this chapter and that Rose just had to do that, in this situation, and that Albus knows that nothing is going to get better, that it can’t be better, and that a lot of his family is there and is trying to comfort him when comfort is not even a part of his vocabulary anymore. Like, heartbroken is not even a good enough word for it anymore. Especially when there’s five other victims who died from the same curse and there’s at least three different people using it and I’m just so torn…

Okay, moving on to other things so I can stop feeling like this….things I feel you did well in this chapter (besides put me into a state of broken hearted denial of course) is showing Rose trying her hardest to compartmentalize herself. It’s one of the hardest things to accomplish in any position in which you’re caring for people, to be able to go on and keep doing your job despite feeling so torn apart about what you’re doing and seeing. It’s not an easy thing to do and I feel you described that feeling quite well, actually. I get the feel of Rose on the edge of losing it, but trying to keep herself together simply because she has to. It’s really good to see, though I worry about how things will go from here because she is going to be really upset, but so is Al and Scorp has to figure out how to handle this, as well as Rose, and Rose is going to blame herself and Al…well, I don’t know what he’s going to be thinking coming out on the other side of this. Like, it’s a complicated mess, where this is headed, and I’m actually particularly excited to see what you do with it…

I also need to just say that Ron, taking Rose back and trying to protect her as I assume the all clear was given long before it was supposed to be (And I almost feel like it was maybe Al when he realized it was Selenia who was injured, but it’s super hard to tell) was a something that really stuck with me. I’m not sure why, but the fact that he’s the one to notice her and to take her back and tell her it’s not safe and for Scorp them to step forward…like, for as much emotional distress as everyone’s in, they are still thinking over the situation and keeping guard and doing their jobs. It’s a bit of a mess, but at the same time, it’s super realistic as to how things are broken down and handled.

Anddd I do like this spacing. With the extra space. It made it a bit easier to read and I honestly hadn’t even realized you did it until I saw the comment in your author’s note, but I do really like it.

Also…CONGRATULATIONS ON THE DOBBY! It’s super exciting that you’ve won the dobby for Most Addicting Story and I cannot even express how much this story deserves it and how excited I was when I saw that! I’m really happy about it, Beth! You’ve put a lot of hard work into this story and it is really, really lovely and you really deserve the recognition!

Great job Beth! I’m crushed, but looking forward to how you take this moving forwards!


 Report Review

Review #2, by Tonks1247Beautiful Mess: Beautiful Mess

9th September 2015:

I want to start by saying congrats on the Dobby nomination! Such an exciting time! I’m actually going through stories, reading and leaving as many reviews on nominated stories as I can, so here we go! :D

This was really a beautiful moment to catch. I’m kind of a sucker for Harry/Ginny at the moment, and the fact that you show this moment of them just loving what they have…well, it was really sweet.

I love how Ginny walks into the house after just a few short hours away to the house in ruins. It honestly doesn’t surprise me in the least bit. The fact that flour is ALL over the place and the living room has been redesigned for a game of Lava, and the kids and Harry are also covered in flour…you really did a good job illustrating the mess in my head. I could see it, and much like Ginny, could imagine the events of those hours, the running around and laughing, the having fun cause dad’s in charge…

Having Ginny go up and join them was so perfect to. I like how they were all together and how James wasn’t fighting his dependence on his parents and how Ginny was amazed with Lily being held by Harry in a way she hadn’t since she was a baby. It was just…it was really heart-warming and the little bits of conversation between Ginny and Harry were just perfect.

I did notice two small things:

“As she stepped through the door she climbed over coat rack that had somehow toppled over.” –the word ‘the’ should be before ‘coat rack’

“It seems so.”-seems should be seemed, to fit tense wise

Despite those things, this was really rather lovely. I enjoyed the idea behind the story and loved walking through the Potter’s house with Ginny. This was really beautiful!


Author's Response: Mikaela,

Thank you for taking the time to read and review my story. I am actually quite humbled at the amount of love it has received and the Dobby nomination, never in my wildest dreams did I expect this. But I am thankful for it!

Dad in charge is always a fun day. I didn't want Ginny to be all angry and uptight about it because I don't think she is that kind of mother. James is becoming more independent - as all children begin to- and I'm glad you enjoyed watching them interact in their nap. Your words are so very kind.

I went back and changed the errors so thank you for pointing that out to me!


 Report Review

Review #3, by Tonks1247Serenity: Serenity

9th September 2015:

I want to start here by saying congratulations on the Dobby Nomination! There are so many stories on the forums and it’s really exciting to see amazing stories getting recognized. Especially stories like this, which are so, so lovely and deserving of a Dobby!

That said, I seriously love what you did with this piece. Like, I’m at a loss for words as to where to begin with what I loved and what worked well because this entire story—the characters, the descriptions, the flow, the plot, the mixed emotions—all worked together to create this beautiful piece of work that made me feel things for a character I’ve never thought much about. It was really amazing to read through and I’m so happy I got the opportunity to stop by (this was on my to-read list as I’ve heard a lot of good things about it, but it got bumped up due to reading week for the Dobbys :D ).

I think I’ll start with a little talk about the characterization. Because I was amazed by what you did with Padma’s character, and how it was so intertwined with Isobel’s character. I’m pretty sure that’s actually what made this so much more emotional and heart breaking at the end, how Padma’s character was in part made up of these feelings for Isobel and how Isobel was this secret lover, of sorts, and how it was meant to be kept quiet, just for the two of them. And how, in the end, it’s not quite enough. Like, tragic really, but it really gives good perspective for Padma’s character, as she struggles not only with finding out she’s got feeling for this girl so early on, but that her mother would not approve and has all these expectations. When her character is then put under pressure, she kind of cracks, unable to make everyone happy. It’s such a hard position to be in because she can’t decide what she feels is right or wrong because everyone has different expectations of her. I really did feel for her there, especially when Isobel then ended up with Anthony, the guy she could be with and make her mother-and possibly herself-happy with.

That actually leads into the plot you’ve got going on. Which is so complex, just like the feelings Padma has for Isobel, and the ones that may even be there for Anthony. This sort of love triangle is so complex and I feel you put words to it in the best way possible. You really highlight moments Padma has with both individuals and make us see a possible future with both of them. It’s really beautiful, that indecision and how clear you’ve brought it across.

Another thing is the story flow here. I am honestly in awe of how you constructed your prose. Honestly, it was so easy to get into because it has this kind of rhythm to it. It almost read like a poem, as it was so easy to go from line to line and one line flowed into the next which worked with the following paragraph and it just went on and on and on. Seriously, if this would have went on longer, I could have kept reading because it was just so easy to read and so easy to feel things, especially with the voice Padma told the story in. It was really, really powerful.

I don’t even know what else to cover here, without just rambling. Because really, it’s so hard to put to words how much this story struck me and how it just sticks out in my head…it’s really amazing, what you constructed here, and there were so many sections that I fell in love with and just…this was really, really great. Really, really great job on this!


 Report Review

Review #4, by Tonks1247There Once Was Magic: They Don't Last Long

7th September 2015:
Hiya! I’m Nymphie Tonks over on the forums, swinging by from the BvB review battle.

I am completely blown away by what you’ve managed here. You’ve written this bittersweet love story and totally captivated and crushed me with the words you’ve put down on the page. Seriously, I felt so much for Hannah in such a short amount of time that processing it all is just so difficult, but it was just so beautiful.

You start this out on such a light feeling note. The description and the narration is just spot on and I found myself falling into understanding of how this relationship worked between the two of them. It wasn’t something extravagant, wasn’t complicated, it just kind of was there and it was sweet. It was open and free, giving space for them both to just be themselves and it was really nice, them having this despite the war going on.

Your transition then, from this scene to the train, is really lovely as well. I like how smooth it is, how he just sort of slides out of the way and is gone. It’s a good transition, I feel, because it’s Hannah’s adjustment to not having him there and her way of being okay with him being gone. You continue to build that with her sending him letters, but not telling him of the atrocities she faces at school. She sort of wants to protect him, in a way, and it really builds their relationship up more. It makes it more, it makes it easier to see and understand.

Then, of course, comes the battle and him showing up and him dying fighting. And the things Hannah thinks when she sees his body, the memories…it’s all really hard to read. I felt so much for her loss, how significant of a loss it is to her…it really broke my heart. Especially as she stands at his coffin in the next segment and it’s a goodbye she doesn’t want to make. It really did sort of crush me, after having felt and seen what things were like in the beginning, with it being so good. And your descriptions here of the wood and the velvet…they were really beautiful and just added to the heart break and the feeling of that heart break.

I think, though, the part that really broke my heart there was at the end. With the chocolate frog box. And there just being one chocolate frog. Like, totally started tearing up and had to give myself a minute just to process what happened and not start crying because what you constructed here, with the chocolate frogs, and having it open and close with that…it really was heart breaking. I don’t think it helps that your narration and POV was just so spot on and it really fit with her character and the situation…it really was beautiful.

The only thing I noticed was some places where a comma may have made the sentences flow better. Looking back now that I’ve read this over twice, I’m not catching them right away, but may be something to look over.

Overall though, this was a really, really lovely story. It was so beautifully written and I got to feel so much for your characters in such a short amount of time…really good job here!

And before I go, my favourite line/section:

The box should feel cold in my hands, but it is just a cardboard box. The bright colors stand out in sharp contrast against the dark gloom surrounding me. Suffocating me. I take a step forward, and part of the soft bank gives way and falls into the water leaving the sound of a quiet plunk in the air. You had always liked the Great Lake.

Really sweet and just…lovely. Really, really lovely.


Author's Response: Hi Mikaela!
Thank you so so much for this super sweet and kind review. *hug* I'm so happy that you felt all of these emotions because it means I did something right. I feel bad though because I made you almost cry. Sorry about that!

Also, thank you for your comments on the descriptions. I actually worked the hardest on figuring out which words would fit the scene most accurately and where I needed to add more detail. I'm so glad that hard work paid off!

The comment on that larger transition also meant a lot. Transitions (and endings) are something that I struggle with, and so it's awesome that you thought it worked and fit well.

Thanks again for this review and nominating that quote for QTR Quote of the Month.

 Report Review

Review #5, by Tonks1247Actions Speak Louder than Words: Bumps: Scorpius AND Rose POV

7th September 2015:

I think I need a minute. Then again, I don’t think a minute will be long enough to be able to handle what just happened there. Because…just…she just…it wasn’t supposed to…I just…no.

This chapter needs a prewarning. PREPARE TO HAVE YOUR HEART CRUSHED. Or something to that affect. Because I’m honestly on the brink of tears here and I kinda knew what was going to happen the second Rose insisted on Selenia taking the cloak and I was repeatedly telling my computer screen not to let it happen and it just happened anyways and now the situation is as it lies and it’s unclear if she’s okay or if something worse has happened and I’m all anxious because of course you leave it at a cliff hanger right there and Albus and I’m sure the other auror’s standing around him are related or his normal group and I think I’m just going to curl up here with a fluffy blanket, waiting anxiously for a chapter to tell me she’s okay even though I won’t want to read it because what if she’s not okay and now I’m just…Beth, that was cruel. So, so cruel.

Focusing on the parts of this chapter that didn’t crush me, I really love how Rose and Scorpius have a whole floor of Grimmauld Place to themselves. I love how it’s set up as a kind of apartment and the fact that it’s a totally different looking space from what it used to be is just amazing. I love how surprised Rose is by it as well and how everyone panics about her reaction, except Scorpius of course. He knows better and it is really lovely to see them getting some space and just some time together, now that Scorpius is over his little thing of spacing himself out and whatever. And the little bit about the baby bump! I love how Scorpius just takes it all in. He’s so excited about this baby and to see the changes that show he’s going to have a baby…well, I’m really excited to see him get more excited about the baby! (Also love Rose scolding him for apologizing…definitely needed xD)

I also had to laugh at Rose and her caution now. How she was nervous with the whispering voices and all. I’m pretty sure this won’t be the first time it happens because like, that whole St. Mungos attack thing was pretty intense and I sometimes don’t understand how she can sleep at night knowing that that could happen…enough to freak anyone out.

Also really cool to see Rose with her practice set up. I’m really intrigued by the idea of her developing this position at the ministry, and how she has to go about getting it to work with the Auror’s actually coming to her. I’m intrigued to see it in action, which kinda comes in at the end of this chapter, but I am really eager to see more of it.

Besides my ranting like above, the end of this chapter was pretty intense. Rose should probably come up with a better plan as to how to keep herself occupied while waiting for the all clear. Because that seemed like a long time of her just trying to keep herself occupied. Although, it doesn’t seem like her mind goes as far as to what’s going at the call site which is good.

Anddd the fact that Selenia is the one attacked? Well I’m still over here having a meltdown, I also worry about Rose. She’s the one who insisted Selenia wears her traveling cloak out and now with the attack…Rose won’t be taking it well. And depending on what has all happened, poor Albus…it’s just not a good situation for any of them. This was a bit of a personal attack, almost worse than attacking Rose (Rose is the expected target), and I just fear what’s going to happen with that next…

Really anxious to read more and see where you take this. You leave a lot up in the air at the end of this chapter and I did really, really love it, despite the fact that it was really, really cruel and ends in a cliff hanger like this. Great job with this chapter!


Author's Response: Hiya Mikaela,

So... I guess apologies are in order... is it bad that I'm more happy and giddy over this review than remorseful about causing you so much stress? I really am an awful person, I know.

So happy you like the idea of a one-floor flat (sort of) for Rose and Scorpius. It was the best solution for their situation and hopefully Rose feels a little less like she's in hiding and has a nice place to bring their baby home to.

Haha - the scene with the bump was so fun to write!

The position at the ministry was a fantastic solution on Harry's part. Everything seems to be going swimmingly... oops and then THAT happened.

Yeah - the fact that Rose *knows* pretty much all her loved ones are responding to an undoubtedly dangerous situation and she just has to wait around for an "all-clear" before she can respond, can get fairly stressful. I think it will be tough at first, but she will get used to it as time goes by.

The next chapter should be coming along in a little bit. I've got most of it written out, but I need to work out some details for later parts of the story.

Thanks again, Mikaela - GAH this review was so, SO amazing!

♥ Beth

 Report Review

Review #6, by Tonks1247Keep Calm and Carry On: A Guide to Writing Speeches and Carrying On

2nd September 2015:
Hiya J!

I don’t know how you do it, but every new chapter I read of this story I love more than the last. Seriously, I come back expecting the entertainment and sarcasm and chaos of this office and I always get that and more! Maybe it’s because I like the drama and it keeps getting more intense, but keep this up! I love it!

With this chapter, I feel all of the characters have more voice. Erick is obviously the ambition person who drives everyone insane by expecting them to have everything under control and moving. He’s loud and commands to be listened to. Linda is the one that likes to poke at people, mock them and speak her mind. Bruce likes to speak his mind and seems a little bit more logical, questioning when things don’t make sense. Lily puts effort into her work and wants things to move forward as smoothly as possible. Lorcan is the awkward sarcastic one that tries to keep his head down and ends up embarrassing himself quite regularly. Peter is the one whose all over, misses things, and everyone abuses (not in a mean way per say…just the one they can push around well). And Branson is just Branson.

Like, seriously, I have distinct pictures of each of the characters in my head and this chapter helps me place a voice to each of them and it really is quite lovely. Because I could see this group working in an office, accomplishing things, and being a good ‘team’ (despite the questioning of using this word for them ;) ). Can also see where chaos would ensue as personalities clash and ones get short tempered quicker than others…it really is a good dynamic, you illustrate it well, and make it realistic.

As for plot, you are moving along this campaign. I like the dynamics of how it builds and changes. It’s an interesting thing, not being interested in politics and seeing all this stuff go on in a story like this. A lot easier to want to keep track of when seeing it from the inside and when it doesn’t actually affect how RL politics work xD

But really, you’ve got a great idea going with this story. I like the direction you’re headed with it and I honestly can’t wait to see where you take it. I want to see this campaign take off and move forward, but I also want to see where these awkward Lorcan and Lily moments go. Because they’re quite lovely and dramatic.

There was one thing I noticed:

S”he was, after all, the mastermind behind the worst office layout imaginable, not to mention to Elf Mead Disaster of ‘27” –I think you mean ‘the’ rather than ‘to’ before ‘Elf’ (Also, I love this sentence. A lot).

Andd I also have some favourite lines to share. I have 3, mostly because I couldn’t narrow them down any further, and the second one is definitely something I would mutter, given the opportunity…. xD

…the bags under her eyes she had tried to cover with some...blush? Foundation? Makeup things.

“Alright, thanks for coming, everybody.” // “It’s not like we had much of a choice.”

“We mustn’t argue amongst ourselves amidst such a momentous time in Madam Branson’s life! We must come together and work towards our shared goal.”

Anddd also, before I go, I’m editing who I think was in which house:

Erick –Slytherin; Branson-Hufflepuff; Lorcan-Gryffindor; Lily-Ravenclaw?; Linda- Slytherin?; Bruce-Ravenclaw?; Peter-Hufflepuff?

Great chapter! I really enjoyed this one and cannot wait for the next one! :D


 Report Review

Review #7, by Tonks1247Mistaken for Strangers: James Buys Some Books

2nd September 2015:

I definitely read this chapter last night before I went to bed but decided to wait on the review until this morning. Which is fine, cause here I am, skimming over the chapter and appreciating it a second time around because it is quite a lovely chapter. And there is a lot more Anna and it’s not Anna reading, though it takes book in a bookstore…but it’s different and the conversation is different and I really liked the whole chapter.

So. Characterization. I love how you have Ginny here. You can definitely see how she sees James’ antics, and I love her shock when he says he wants to get a book, rather than a new broomstick or owl. Her obsession for Quidditch was also displayed well here. Her and Regan were entertaining to read, chatting about Quidditch and getting super excited about things.

Leanne was pretty entertaining here too. Maybe a little bit of a crush on James here? Hehe. I really liked how awkward, almost, she was about talking to him. I could totally picture it happening like that, with James not really picking up on it as much as he probably should. Although I am impressed with all these little facts James seems to remember about people. He asks Leanne about Ted and then later when he’s talking to Anna, he brings up something that she didn’t expect him to remember. It’s really interesting, how his brain works…

Anyways. I love how James catches Anna not reading. And how he still manages to startle her. And how she still calls him Jeremy. I laugh every time that I read that. It’s really bad that she doesn’t know the right name. And I love how she doesn’t question further into how much family he has at Hogwarts, because if she did, surely she’d figure out Jeremy is not the right name. Then again, I don’t know that she would. She’s such a different character with an attention span for things other than socialization (not saying that at all in a bad way).

Also found interesting the conversation they have about future job ideas. Anna being a spell creator is interesting. Like, I always assumed there’d be such a thing, but at the same time I didn’t put much thought into it because there always seemed to be plenty of spells around. But the idea of creating new ones, which could be potentially dangerous…interesting. And I also liked James idea of doing something with Muggle Ethics and the likes. It’s not something I’ve ever imagined for his character, yet in this case it fit quite well.

I also quite like the ending. How James goes towards WWW only for an explosion and children screaming to ensue. Obviously someone trusted Fred with something they shouldn’t have! (Or just left him unattended for a moment too long…)

And, speaking of Fred doing something…my favourite line this chapter is actually just the ending there:

Sighing, he wondered what Fred had managed to do this time. Whatever it was, James wanted nothing to do with it.

This was a lovely chapter! Can’t wait to see where you go with it next!


 Report Review

Review #8, by Tonks1247With Sudden Joy: With Sudden Joy

28th August 2015:
Hello! This is Nymphie Tonks from the forums, swinging by for the BvB review battle!

I really enjoyed what you managed with this story. I wasn’t really sure what to expect, walking into a situation where the main character is an OC and a next gen OC at that, but you’ve really given me a good view into Henry’s character and his life at Hogwarts. I could definitely see his character in my head and the further I got into the story, the better of an understanding of his character I got.

Henry’s voice in this story is brilliant. He’s one of the more quiet types of people, enjoying watching others and getting ideas from others—like his running. He decides he wants to run, and as hard as he finds it is at first, he keeps going. He gets to the point where he’s running, and he’s not quite sure why he keeps running, other than it’s soothing. Also, as he goes on to talk about his garden, and how he appreciates working in the garden and tending to the plants…the way he described all the care he provided really gave his character a voice that was understandable and relatable. There were numerous times where I thought Henry could definitely be someone walking this earth, thinking and doing these things…it really was great!

Another thing that I think really brought his character to life was the career thing. He really wasn’t sure what he wanted to do, but figured since he’d thought again and again about healing, that maybe that was what he wanted to do. He didn’t really spend much more time thinking about and just sort of let it go. Until Lillian said something that caused McGonagall and Hagrid to suggest something that he really would enjoy. It was just a really sweet moment and I think more people around that age would appreciate some sort of guidance or suggestions as to what they would enjoy doing—with it being as personally thought out as this.

I did find one little things while I was reading…

“He tosses it across the table, and Henry nabs it before lands in the butter.” –I think you want the word ‘it’ between ‘before’ and ‘lands’

Despite that one small thing, I quite enjoyed this story. One of my favourite parts was Henry talking to Lillian, and how he wasn’t quite sure of her name, but she seemed to remember him well. It made me giggle just a little bit.

Really great job on this!

Author's Response: Hi! Thank you for the review!

I guess I always forget to think about context when it comes to characters, haha. Like, the fact that people wouldn't be super excited by a Next Gen OC never really crossed my mind, even though it probably should have. I think I subconsciously tried to add in familiar faces and names-- Louis, Hagrid, McGonagall-- but that was pretty much it. So, I'm really glad that you still felt like you were able to connect to Henry! It's such a huge compliment that you think he could be a real person.

I really like your point about Henry's personality. I absolutely agree that he is the quiet type, but I also think you're totally right that he's also an observational person. It makes sense that a young person would draw a lot of ideas from the people he admires, and that some of those ideas, like running, would turn out to be really great, and that others, like Healing, might not be the best fit.

The career question is definitely one that resonates with me, and I'm sure that I'm not alone in sometimes wondering about what career I'll actually settle into. I've also definitely seen a lot of people who just assumed that they were going to go into a particular field when it seemed pretty clear to other people that it was just a phase. Then again, you never really know if it's going to be a phase until the end, right? Anyway, I definitely agree that having some guidance can be a savior. And I picture both McGonagall and Hagrid as such parental figures that I could easily imagine them encouraging Henry to take on this new job. I don't know if I originally intended Lillian to make the suggestion to McGonagall, or if it was more a type of situation where everyone could see that Henry was cut out for gamekeeping except Henry, but I think either interpretation works.

Thank you for pointing out that typo! I will certainly fix it. Thank you for leaving such a lovely, thoughtful review! I really appreciate it.

 Report Review

Review #9, by Tonks1247Keep Calm and Carry On: A Guide to Keeping Calm and Apparating

24th August 2015:
Hiya J!

To start, thank you! I popped on because I had some time to read before bed and of course, seeing as this was updated, I knew what my reading for the night would be. And then to get into this chapter to see it’s dedicated to me? Like, that’s totally crazy! Especially because I’m just stopping by to leave a review for this story because I absolutely love the characters and the plot and just everything…Seriously. YOU are the best because this story is just wonderful!

That said, I absolutely loved this chapter. It’s one of my favourites so far, which if you could see the word document into which I copy and pasted my favourite lines? Well, it would be pretty obvious.

I love the comments that Lorcan makes, the ones he thinks in his head about the stuff going on around him…he’s seriously the type of person I could see myself spending a lot of time with. He’s got the same sort of sense of humour/sarcasm as me and just…he’d be a fun character to hang out with! I love how he’s not afraid to admit to where his insecurities are and comment about them. Some of my favourite moments included his ability to take out people while apparating, his ability to hold conversation with others, and his whole side-along apparating thing. Like, seriously. Lorcan is just great!

I also like this thing that’s not really a thing with Lorcan and Lily. It definitely adds a little different touch to the office situation, especially when Lorcan ends up flirting with Camille (if you really can call it flirting…) and Erick suggests he takes her on a fake date. I’m not sure if that idea is going to be taken further, but I quite enjoy how Lorcan is really bad in those situations and how he listens to see how Lily’s date went. (Also, with Lily having Celiac disease, I think it’s a good little piece of information. I like what it does for her character, with her likes in dating and such. It was for sure interesting!)

Plot wise, I like this ‘Order’ assembly meeting. And how the other party is the Hammers of Witchcraft. It was a really creative introduction to how Wizarding politics work and I think it opens the floor for tons of possibilities. I am eager to see how the campaign commences from here, with there being one big competitor for Branson in the Order (plus another person) and then the big election…you definitely have plenty of possibilities as to where to take this!

Before I get to my favourite lines, there were a couple things I noticed…

“She couldn’t share cups or bottles with anybody who eaten gluten in the past three hours, or–“ –I think you’re missing a word. Maybe ‘had’ between ‘who’ and ‘eaten’

“There were many tables arranged in a slightly wonky square in the centre of the table, and…” –I think the table just before the and there is supposed to be room? Or something other than table?

“He did like to make Branson’s a living hell, after all…” – again, maybe missing a word? I think you want ‘life’ between ‘Branson’s’ and ‘a’

This chapter looked really good other than those few things! It was quite the entertaining read and I can’t wait to see where you go from here!

Also, before I hit my favourite lines, I have ideas about whose in what house:

Erick –Slytherin; Branson-Gryffindor?; Lorcan-Hufflepuff; Lily-Ravenclaw?; Linda-Gryffindor; Bruce-Haven’t decided; Peter-Hufflepuff?

And I will do two favourite lines, despite the fact I loved quite a number more or them…

Do you wave to somebody you’re going to see in like two minutes? I guess I do, at least.

I got a pretty cool scar out of that ordeal, though, so it wasn’t a total loss.

Lovely chapter! Thanks for the dedication of the chapter and I’m looking forwards to a new chapter!


 Report Review

Review #10, by Tonks1247Actions Speak Louder than Words: Blitz and Building: Rose and Scorpius POV

17th August 2015:
Hiya Beth!

I was just doing my final chapter check of the night (glancing at my currently reading stories to see if anyone had updated their stories), and I noticed this story had a new chapter. And while I should technically be going to bed, I couldn’t not read the chapter and then decided that I should also review it right away as I will have limited (if any) wifi until Friday.

Also, before jumping in here, I have to thank you for writing such an intense story, one that’s easy to fall into and binge read in one night. Like, I absolutely love what you have set up here and I love your characters and how they interact. I loved it the night I binge read it and I have been trying really hard to review EVERYTHING I read. I’m just happy I was able to stay focused and get all caught up on the chapters. I enjoy the read and leaving my melodramatic reactions afterwards. xD

With that said. On with the review.

This chapter was amazing. I love the attack and how Scorpius managed to hold his own with the thought of Rose in mind. I was feeling pretty nervous after he took that spell and then realized that there were Auror’s, but they were on the far side of the Death Eaters. I wasn’t sure what was going to happen and was praying that Rose wouldn’t get hurt and then Harry and Ron showed up and I about died of relief. I knew they were okay from that point.

As for what transpires after that? I loved the detail. I love how Scorpius has to explain what he knew and what he did. I will admit, for a teeny tiny second after I finished the last chapter, I was thinking this was some sort of drill for his S.N.A.K.E.s exam (surprise exams aren’t that out there….), but then realized how cruel that would be to him. And that the exam probably is in a more secure and structures location. And that I was being ridiculous. BUT. The fact that this did end up counting for his S.N.A.K.E.s is amazing though! It really does help take some of the pressure off him!

I also love how Harry and Healer Lawrence talk and work out the best healer position for Rose. I was thinking she was going to have to push off the decision, but the fact that everything she wants is combined into one position for her? Like, I can’t even put words to how I feel about it! I know what it’s like to have to choose (Darn Nursing School) so getting the best of all of it (well, best in terms of what she wants to do…not the injuries or anything…) really is amazing. I love that she gets the opportunity!

The only down side? She keeps putting off a piece of information to tell Harry. Or trying to remember what it is. Or anything about her case trial thing. It makes me just a little ball of anxiety. That, and this chapter ended pretty peacefully. Everyone is chatting and happy and thinking about the future. I’m concerned. Like, it’s really bad, but I know something bad is going to occur and just…I don’t know what. It makes me anxious!

This was a really, really excellent chapter. There were two small things I noticed:

“We’ll be able interrogate and prosecute the eight you caught.” –there should be a ‘to’ between able and ‘interrogate’
“Although in hospital, I slept better than I had in weeks, with Scorpius at my side.” –I think there should be a ‘the’ between ‘in’ and ‘hospital’

Besides those though, this chapter was great! It was a good read and gave a good combination of happy/relaxed and anxious/scary. Great job!


Author's Response: Hi there Mikaela,

Are you trying to turn me into a puddle of goo? I mean - this review!!! I need a moment, here.

"Also, before jumping in here, I have to thank you for writing such an intense story, one that's easy to fall into and binge read in one night. Like, I absolutely love what you have set up here and I love your characters and how they interact. I loved it the night I binge read it and I have been trying really hard to review EVERYTHING I read. I'm just happy I was able to stay focused and get all caught up on the chapters. I enjoy the read and leaving my melodramatic reactions afterwards. xD"

This paragraph was totally awesome. Eeep! I'm so glad you binge read this! And I *adore* reading your reactions.

You're the second reader to suspect that this was a S.N.A.K.E. exam test. And truthfully, I never thought of that, but I was kind of along the same line of thinking - even if it was only after the fact.

Haha - yes - this solution works out the best for Rose (and Scorpius, for that matter). She's so ecstatic to have this new position.

Rose doesn't remember what she saw and ascertained from the medical files - but it will come back later on.

I will fix that typo - as far as the hospital one is concerned, I was trying to use the British phrasing - they don't always use a "the" in front of "hospital."

Thank you, again - I don't know if I'll ever be able to express my true gratitude for these reviews.

♥ Beth

 Report Review

Review #11, by Tonks1247Keep Calm and Carry On: A Guide to St. Mungo's and Carrying On

17th August 2015:

Finally found a few moments to pop by, and I’m quite glad I did. Lorcan is such an entertaining character. He’s definitely one that I would get along with well because I tend to have the dry humour and sarcasm down to a T. I’m not quite as clumsy as he is…but that does add to his characterization. It makes him seem more real and more relatable. It also is sort of entertaining to count the number of unfortunate things that can occur to him in a day (in a totally not mean way….).

I also love how in this chapter, Lorcan talks a bit about his sibling as does Lily. It gives me a better feel for the sort of platform you have under these characters and it puts their characters in perspective. Maybe it’s just because I like people watching, and many times if you find out bits and pieces of their lives, it makes their behaviour more understandable.

Whatever the case, I really enjoyed the conversation there and all the talk about who else would run for Minister. I feel you did a really good job of pulling in how cold and just…methodical politics is. I will admit, I tend to duck and cover when politics is the topic of conversation because I don’t understand why it has to be so calculated. I mean, I do, but sometimes it’s just so mean… But. On topic. I feel you describe the behind the scenes well and I cannot wait to see where you take it next!

I am curious as to how the young man who looked vaguely familiar will reappear, because I have a feeling he will. Well, from the way it’s put, I’m fairly confident he will, but without knowing much more, I won’t put theories out…

Anyways. Fantastic job with this chapter! I quite enjoyed the read and the characters you’re presenting. And, as I finish up here, here are my two favourite lines from the chapter:

“Are platypuses–platypi? that sounds better…”

What is it with this office and eye rolling? Do I roll my eyes a lot? Is it contagious?


Author's Response: Ugh Mikaela you're seriously the best. -insert :wub: emoticon here- This review is so lovely!

I'm glad you find Lorcan entertaining! He's definitely sarcastic and dry, almost painfully so. It's hard to keep his thoughts on track when writing because he just wants to make snarky observations all the time! To be honest, his clumsiness is based entirely on my own clumsiness. I embarrass myself through physical misfortune far, far too regularly. So I wanted to take that out on a character. I mean...portray that in a character...

Yay I also love doing that and learning more about people! Lysander has unquestionably impacted Lorcan-- as you can kinda tell from this chapter, he's quite the character! Outgoing, flirty, Gryffindor Lysander v snarky, clumsy, Ravenclaw Lorcan. And then you throw in Lorcan's parents! What a childhood they must have had...I haven't fleshed out Lily's family in the KCACO universe as much yet (although I know this James is very, very different from MFS!James) but that's something that will develop over the story!

I totally, 100% relate to what you mean about politics being mean! I also actually rather hate following politics and the personalities that go along with it. (Like Donald Trump right now.) But I also feel really sympathetic for the politicians themselves who are hoping to get stuff done. So I'm trying to balance that in here! I'm glad you liked it and hopefully the rest of the story will continue to interest you like that.

Aha! You may be onto something. ;) (I always really really love when readers pick up on random things I throw down! Great job!)

Seriously, Mikaela, without fail you pick out my favorite quotes from the chapter. It's kinda freaking me out at this point. But I'm glad you find it funny and not just weird/all over the place! :D

Thanks so much for another wonderful review!


 Report Review

Review #12, by Tonks1247This Bird Has Flown: a cynic and an idealist walk into a bar

15th August 2015:

I was creeping around the forums earlier today and opened a bunch of links to stories I found as I went. I’ve been on a bit of an R&R kick for the past couple days so I decided to add some random stories to the list tonigh, and it just so happens I found the link to this story!

That said, I quite enjoyed this story! The style of it was a lot different than many of the stories I’ve read recently and it was really refreshing! It was rather dialogue heavy, but you managed the dialogue in a smooth fashion that made it easy to read. It also helps that your narration was so natural and so distinct as Scorpius. I mean, it’s third person point of view but the way the story read made it seem more personal. It sounded voiced from his character, or the view I got from his character, which was really, really lovely.

His voice also helped walk me through his night. It was easy to see him walking into this pub and taking a moment to try to figure out why all these gruff and eccentric men were as lively as they were. I could see his draw into the place and the need to sit and people watch, as one of the best things is people watching.

I love the interaction between Lucy and Scorpius as well. It’s almost got an edge of awkward to it, but at the same time, it doesn’t. Like, I don’t exactly know how to put words to how the conversation felt, but it was very fitting of those two characters and I feel like I got to know a lot about them based on how they spoke and what they said. It was pretty impressive, as I haven’t read much of Lucy’s character, but from what my head cannon is, you’ve written her entirely different. (Which is awesome, don’t get me wrong! The way you described her, I can definitely see it and it’s just as fitting as what I think of her, if that makes any sense at all.)

I also love how you describe the place where Lucy lives and how she doesn’t have rooms and just a ton of those little details. It really says something about her character and I can see where Scorpius’ fascination is. I also love how you leave the end sort of open, with Scorpius leaving her a note. It’s really intriguing.

There were two small things that I noticed:

“She crumbled up her piece of paper that she was so enthralled in minutes before.” –I think here, crumpled may work better than crumbled

“What of was anyone’s guess.” It could totally be a style thing, but I think ‘Of what’ works a little better than ‘what of’.

Overall though, I really enjoyed this story! It was different and it gave me a much different view of Lucy and of Scorpius. It was quite lovely!

And I will leave off with one of my favourite quotes from this story:

“I wanted to read two very specific books that didn’t exist, so I wrote them myself.”


(OH! I also loved the chapter title! XD)

 Report Review

Review #13, by Tonks1247Actions Speak Louder than Words: Bated Breath: Scorpius POV

14th August 2015:

Back for the FINAL chapter to finally get myself caught up! I also have finally passed my 300th review on the forums somewhere in this last spell of review dropping….quite the accomplishment I think! And as exciting as it all is, I’m also putting this in for BvB review fest!

So. I loved this chapter. And I know I’ve said it about other chapters, but I love this chapter in a different way than the others. This chapter was a moment in which we not only saw the strength of the love between Rose and Scorpius but Selenia just spoke out against one of her superiors and she really took charge of the situation. She was able to put her personal feelings and thoughts aside to focus on Rose as a patient. She refuted Healer Lawrence’s call about the potion, advocating for the sake of the baby, and then got Scorp to speak to her and calm her down. She then kicks everyone out of the room after Rose has woken up in order to give her time to rest. Like, dang. She really stepped up, outside of how even tempered and go with the flow that she is, and took charge of the situation. It was a good thing for her character and I really loved it.

Rose and Scorpius were really good in this chapter too. I like how Scorpius has kind of figured out that him and Rose need each other. Distancing himself did nothing but hurt the both of them, and that he really doesn’t want to be without her. I mean, it’s unfortunate that it took an event like this for him to realize he was looking at things all wrong, but I’m glad he’s finally figured it out. And that he’s by Rose’s side. I was beginning to miss the two of them xD

There is one small thing with this chapter, though. This sentence:

“But we may have to weigh the risks versus the rewards of administering it early.”

I am going to suggest, instead of using rewards, to use benefits. It may be the nursing part of my brain speaking, but I think it’s a better word to use as it’s generally used in the healthcare field and rewards just…I don’t know. It doesn’t sound quite as good in terms of using a potion.

Overall though, I really loved this chapter. It gave rise to some other character development and, of course, Scorp is going to be by Rose’s side now (Hopefully). It was a really lovely chapter and I’ll leave off with a line that I quite enjoyed:

Even though she’d been the one in mortal peril today, somehow it felt like I was the one that’d been saved.

Can’t wait for new chapters! :D

Author's Response: Hi Mikaela!

That *is* quite an accomplishment - 300 reviews! I'm sorry I've taken so long to reply to this - I'm trying to get through all my unanswered reviews today.

Selenia is amazing - and she's coming in to her own, here. I definitely wanted to highlight that she's just as amazing a healer as Rose is. I think sometimes she gets overshadowed by Rose. And although it doesn't bother Selenia one bit, I wanted to make a point of including that in the story.

I'm also so happy that Rose and Scorpius are together. Yes, I know I'm the author of this story and I get to write everything that happens to them, but for some reason, I kind of feel like the story writes itself and things happen to them without my control. I know it sounds weird - haha!

Oh - thank you for that suggestion. I'm going to fix it right away. I rather enjoy having a medical consultant for this story! :D

Yes! I enjoyed that line too! I always knew the end of this chapter would be that line.

Thank you so much!

♥ Beth

 Report Review

Review #14, by Tonks1247Actions Speak Louder than Words: Beating Heart: Scorpius POV

14th August 2015:
Hiya! Back for another chapter! Putting it in for BvB as well.

AH! WHY DOES THE INTENSITY DO THIS TO ME! I’m such a mess from this chapter because I understand what it’s like to be in a hospital and anxious about things going on and fearing the worst and then you have Ron stepping forward, along with all the Weasley’s really, to comfort Scorpius and help bring him through despite how things look with Rose. Seriously. You have me an emotional mess right now and I’m not quite sure I know how to react to the emotions spinning through my head.

You’ve done so, so much justice to Ron’s character here. Like, he admits how he has a problem with Malfoy’s and he blames Draco for Hermione’s torture just as much as Bellatrix’s, but like…it’s not the same with Scorpius. He isn’t his father and just…Ron’s whole speech seriously made me want to cry. He was so honest and he said exactly what Scorpius needed to hear. It was really touching and it was obvious that Ron struggled to get the words out through what you wrote and it was really very lovely.

With Rose’s condition….this high heart rate thing is giving me anxiety. Like, it’s obviously not good for either of them and this potion they are giving isn’t good in high doses to the baby and it’s just…it’s not a good situation. It’s making me super anxious especially because I’m pretty sure this is strictly related to WHY she fell and is related to Stannous. I know Scorpius has that thought in his head and he better not let it fade away because something fishy is going on with the whole situation and it’s just not cool.

Also, the fact that you can extend happy/fluffy feelings over a couple chapters to then turn around and put anxiety all over the place in the next few is cruel. Like, I really love your writing style and how you can work a plot like this, but at the same time…like, I don’t know how to function with this back and forth! I’m way too attached to these character for my own good…. (But it’s totally fine cause I totally love it, no matter how melodramatic I am!)

And, because I can’t help it, I’m leaving three quotes that I quite enjoyed for one reason or another. You had a lot of good lines here and just…great, great job dear!

I couldn’t remember the hallways being so long before. There must’ve been some sort of magical enchantment on them to make them longer when you needed to get through them as fast as possible

Perhaps she shouldn’t be so rude to upset fiancés.

“Scorpius, we are not our parents. I’ll never forgive your father, but you can’t beat yourself up for something that you had absolutely no control over.”


Author's Response: Hi there Mikaela,

Haha - I'm feeling rather guilty about making you so anxious and putting you on an emotional roller coaster. Guilty, but giddy... does that make me a bad person?

Yay! I've been really worried about how I've treated Ron in this. I adore Ron and I think that may be one of the reasons I'm writing my Hermione Granger story. In this fic, I'm saddled by using Rose and Scorpius's POVs and Ron is only seen through their eyes, so I'm really breathing a sigh of relief that it came through about what his real intentions are when dealing with his daughter and her fiance.

As to why Rose fell - there will be more on that later. ;)

Eeep! Thanks for the quotes - you always find the ones that I like the best!

♥ Beth

 Report Review

Review #15, by Tonks1247Actions Speak Louder than Words: Blackout: Rose and Scorpius POV

14th August 2015:
Hiya! Back for another chapter! Putting it in for BvB as well.

WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY? THIS IS NOT COOL! THIS IS WHY I HAVE PROBLEMS KEEPING MY COOL FOR REVIEWS! Things are fine, and then they’re not and then there’s a cliff hanger that’s gonna push me further to losing my chill. AH!

Okay. That’s outta my system. Now. To this chapter.

I don’t even know where to begin. There are so many little things that I noticed that I feel the need to mention, mostly because I think it could be significant, but there are a ton of other things I could mention and be dramatic about because this was such a cruel end to a chapter.

Imma start with Rose and her school stuff. Scorp ignoring her or I guess avoiding her is on all my wrong nerves during this part. I get why he’s doing it, but she’s so miserable and stressed without him and just…the pair of them make me sad cause they’re both so miserable. But. School. Rose’s assignments with these cases and the opportunity to put together the pieces to solve them is awesome. I think it’s one of those things I would quite enjoy doing. I also laugh that the first couple were pretty easy for her to figure out.

As for that last case? Well. I’m not liking any little bit of it. It’s really creepy, and the fact that it’s sticking with Rose and not seeming right…there is definitely something fishy going on. Especially as I started looking at facts and seeing things written here that seem mentioned previously. So. The parts that get me:

For a moment I got lost in the depths of that steel-gray eye. It emphasized the tuft of white hair speckled with ash….However, I would know that lightning bolt anywhere.

“And the fact that it was made to look like an accident…”

Like. What? White hair? Things LOOKING like an accident? Scorpius’ parents dead. Some kitchen explosion ACCIDENT. Like. Maybe I’m just putting things together because I’m reading too far into it (As a ‘Claw and nursing student, I’m a pro at reading into things that shouldn’t be) but like…somethings sideways. ESPECIALLY WHEN THE NEXT MORNING COMES!

Rose leaves the baby picture and the ribbon he appreciated so much with him only to lose it on the stairs? Like. I could see it happening. The slipping. But some ‘force’ being there helping her along? I’m seeing. ESPECIALLY WITH THIS LINE:

As I was desperately flailing my arms to grab on to something, I caught a glimpse of a fuzzy figure in a dark robes with light hair stood on the top step.

WHAT!?! Why, Beth, why? It’s not cool for all these suspicious things to be going on and causing all sorts of anxiety! Because the fact that Al shows up and tells Scorp that his whole world is trying to fall apart…It makes me so sad and anxious for him! (Though, you know how I said something bad had to happen before Scorp figured out how unimportant being the ‘evil’ part of the prophecy is? Yeah.)

But seriously. This chapter was absolutely amazing. I loved the suspense (and the fact that this cliff hanger is the cruellest thing ever (which I love but hate at the same time, ya know?) and pushes me to go on to more chapters) and the time you took to put in these small details I noted (important or not) and just…everything. It’s all given me theories and made me think (which is a dangerous thing, I hope you know), and it’s just really, really lovely!

Before I go, I do need to share this. Because I’m one of those people (due to nursing school) who can talk about the grossest things over lunch and not even think twice about it. XD

I found it amazing that apparating downstairs could make me so queasy I would lose lunch everywhere, but looking at these photos didn’t even give me butterflies in my stomach.


Author's Response: Mikaela.


I'm really struggling to answer this one. Because it's just so awesome and part of me wants to tell you SO MUCH, but I just can't say more than I should right now. But please know that I read this review over and over and over because you put so many things into it!

So I know I've said that I'm not a fan of the cliffhanger, but I seem to accidentally do it to my readers. But this one was always intended to be in the story. This chapter didn't change much at all from the original way that I wrote it.

Scorpius is being a complete dolt when it comes to this prophecy and his love for Rose (I've worried and stressed over the fact that readers would not be sympathetic to his motivation on this point.)

And all I'm gonna say is that I'm utterly amazed at your powers of observation and deduction, here.

Unfortunately, Scorpius needed this proverbial smack in the head to realize what is truly important to him and that he needs to shove aside despite his insecurities.

Haha - I'm not very squeamish, either. Most medical things, I find truly interesting and not gross or nauseating. Having a nursing student read through all of this is definitely helping me to be sure I'm at the top of my game, here!

Thanks again - gah! so, so, much!

♥ Beth

 Report Review

Review #16, by Tonks1247Actions Speak Louder than Words: Betrothed: Rose POV

14th August 2015:
Hiya! Back for another chapter! Putting it in for BvB as well.

Why does Scorp need to be so overdramatic? I mean, I totally can see where he’s coming from. I get that this prophecy and making him the father and the ‘evil’ side of things is bad, and I know why it hurts him. He doesn’t want to be a bad influence and he wants for Rose and the baby to be good and to be okay, but he’s making me sad. His life has been so difficult, with losing his parents and being labelled as a Malfoy, and for this prophecy to hit him so hard….it’s just not cool! Feel so bad for him!

As for Rose? Well. She’s had time to adjust to the prophecy. It didn’t really say anything about her she didn’t know or rejected for most of her life. She took time to accept it and now she’s gotta do the same for Scorp and I know it’s killing her. It’s like the fact that they both loved each other for so long but wouldn’t make a single move to do something about it or tell each other. It’s such a slow process and I’m sure Scorp is going to do exactly what he shouldn’t do and continue to avoid her until something dramatic happens and he realizes that maybe it’s not as big of a deal as he thinks it is….

Also in this chapter, I love how James comes home just for Rose’s announcement. I love how excited she got for him. I also may have laughed a lot at Fred’s congratulations to Rose and Scorpius about the baby. More than I should have, yet besides.

I also love how Hermione was able to plan such a big party so fast and have food and everything else prepared in a matter of hours. It really doesn’t surprise me much, but it was funny how Rose pointed that out so obviously as well.

Another lovely chapter!

Author's Response: Hiya Mikaela,

Poor Scorpius. He just can't seem to catch a break. But he loves Rose and the baby so much that he's willing to give them up so they can have a better life without him. He really feels like he's got a dark cloud hanging over him - can you blame him?

Yeah, Rose needs to give Scorpius a little time and she'll figure that out. But unfortunately, she also feels that she needs to protect her baby and do what's best for the new little one. And she's right - what is best for the baby is to have a father who loves it.

James really is one of the clan - even though he doesn't work for the Ministry and he's a bit of a goofball, he is completely loyal to all of them.

Haha! Hermione had a bit of help on this one. She didn't do the cooking (that was Ginny and Molly). She mostly just offered up her house!

Thanks again!

♥ Beth

 Report Review

Review #17, by Tonks1247Actions Speak Louder than Words: Bound by Fate: Scorpius POV

13th August 2015:
Hiya Beth! Back for another chapter! Putting it in for BvB as well.


Okay. Give me a minute to calm myself down. Because this chapter hit a little harder than expected (or that I remembered) and it’s just so not cool.

So. The prophecy is speaking of a child between Rose and Scorpius. I know Rose kind of figured it out before her mum said it and Scorp wasn’t far behind but I know his reaction to this is going to bad. Not only because I’ve read all the chapters, but because, historically, Scorpius doesn’t handle bomb droppings very well. This, I know, is no exception.

Also, like, Rose is not going to handle Scorpius’ reaction well because she never handles his reactions well and just…they were such happy and fluffy people and Rose was being giggly and just adorable and now there’s this bomb and things are going to explode. Like, I love it, but Beth…you couldn’t just let it be? (Don’t answer that. I know. It was necessary. I know!)

Okay. Now that the initial freak out and rant is through. Other things in this chapter.

I love Rose and Scorpius. Scorp is so excited about this baby and I’m sure, given the opportunity, he would stare at the picture from the healer all day. And the fact that all he can do is watch her and just smile is just…it’s really sweet. It really shows how much they love each other, rather than everyone just saying ‘oh they love each other.’ It is really good to see that as it packs so much more emotion into it! Especially with Rose and Scorpius having these silly little conversations. Like, it almost hurts, how cute they are.

I also quite adored Scorpius after getting to Harry’s office to find Ron and Hermione there (what a great thing, for all the important people to be in the same place. Convenient xD). The way he made his little speech to Ron and sort of threatened him with his wand…well, it was just as excellent as Ron’s reaction to that little speech. I was honestly laughing so hard at that point, cause I could just see it in my head…it was pretty great! Also doesn’t help that after reading this line, all I could think was how it was a question Ron really didn’t want an answer to:

“I thought you were going to propose! H-how does… this happen be-before one proposes, Malfoy?!”

-coughs- I’m alright…

Another thing I liked, because apparently I’m really into Ron/Hermione, is how Ron encouraged Hermione to just saw what she had discovered. Their interactions are honestly some of the greatest things ever and I really may have to stop by that other story you have going to check it out. Because I really do love these two. And how Rose and Scorpius kinda mirror them as well…

Overall, this was a brilliant chapter. I know I went totally overdramatic for this review, but like…I couldn’t help it….Great job!


Author's Response: Mikaela!

Okay. So this. This one has gotta be one of the best reviews you've left me.

You *know* them.

You just KNOW Rose and Scorpius so, so well. They are terrible at communication - and he just adores her at a level that is beyond him being able to describe it or act on it - all he can do is *feel* it.

And she just wants everything for him - she wants to make everything better and (maybe the most important thing) is that she want to be better herself, for him.

But for some reason, this really evil author keeps doing horrid things to the pair. That really sucks! (hee hee)

And OMG! I've TOTALLY fallen in love with Ron and Hermione through this story. It's one of those things that I never saw coming and the two of them have just warmed my heart with how strong they've needed to be for each other. (Of course, I'd love to hear what you think of that story as well - it's a bit darker, so fair warning).

As always, thank you so, so much!

♥ Beth

 Report Review

Review #18, by Tonks1247Actions Speak Louder than Words: Bound by Hope: Rose POV

13th August 2015:
Hiya Beth! Back for another chapter! Putting it in for BvB as well.

FLUFFY CHAPTERS WITH ROSE AND SCORPIUS ARE MY FAVOURITEST THINGS EVER! Not even kidding you. These last couple of chapters have been so sweet and have made me fall in love with these characters even more. Their relationship and situations seem so real and I love how I can feel things with them through the writing. It is really rather lovely and one of the many reasons I find myself coming back for another chapter.

There were many parts that made me giggle quite a bit. Pregnant Rose sass has to be one of my favourite things. Her POV is so much more entertaining when she’s ranting and raving and being irritation, to a point. These two lines are two that really stuck out this chapter:

Of course, he was being absolutely rotten about it. He was so completely understanding and compassionate; it was aggravating me all the more.

“…But if you spin me around like that right after I just threw up ever, ever again, I will make sure that the next vomit session ends up on you. In fact, I can almost guarantee it.”

The fact that she wants to get reaction out of him and for him to stop being so perfect just adds on to the entertainment. Having just completed all of my obstetrics rounds for nursing school also adds to the entertainment because there are always fun stories when hormones come in and we also talk about how the expectant mother is always right…

The only other thing from this chapter I’m going to question…October 31 as the due date. Didn’t really set anything off the first time reading it, but the second time…is it just the date that it happens to fall on or is there a specific plot point to it? Or is it better if you say nothing at all? Hmmm….

Great chapter!

Author's Response: Hi there Mikaela,

I'm trying to get through all my unanswered reviews and I don't know how I'm going to be able to thank you for all of these.

Hee hee - you always find the lines in my stories that make me laugh, too. I know that sounds awful, but I sometimes do make myself laugh when I write these things. And I did have a really good time with sassy Rose. She isn't normally that way, but has been pushed to the brink lately with all these major life changes going on - haha!

Wow! I hope I've done my obstetrics in the Wizarding World justice - I didn't know I had an expert reading this story. If you see anything that you think I could elaborate upon or adjust, please let me know.

I picked October 31st because that is the most celebrated holiday in the Wizarding World. I figured they would consider that a really special day to have a baby born.

Thanks so much!

♥ Beth

 Report Review

Review #19, by Tonks1247Actions Speak Louder than Words: Bound by Honor: Rose and Scorpius POV

13th August 2015:
Hiya Beth! Back for another chapter! Putting it in for BvB as well.

I honest to goodness forgot how much I adored some of these chapters in here. Like, the fact that they’re adjusting to the news of being pregnant and in that happy phase and are engaged and just ready for the world…it’s really great. It’s so fluffy and it’s definitely a good break from the constant drama with these two. I know it can’t last, but like…they’re both really great right here.

I think I could probably go on and on about how great Scorpius is, as he knows Rose so well and loves her so obviously. He knew she’d have a break down and he’s just able to be the support she needs. The fact that he lets his doubts gets in the way is probably going to end badly, but the fact that he’s putting in a lot of effort and wanting to be the best he can for Rose and the baby is great!

With Rose…I think she’s actually adjusting quite well to the role. It’s super early, of course, but the fact that she tells Scorp the baby can’t hear her but then turns around to tell the baby all of these things…it’s really sweet. I love this side of Rose and how comfortable and happy she is, despite the prophecy weighing her down (Scorp had a perfect comeback for that BUT WHY DO THEY NOT PUT IT TOGETHER?! Gosh darn them being in love… xD)

I also have to share a little love with Selenia this chapter. She was amazing in the last chapter, with working out what was going on with Rose while not setting Albus off to it, but she was also really good at keeping Scorp calm. The fact that Scorp does feel good and comfortable talking with her is good and she’s just really brilliant when it comes to sharing information. She really does fit the picture of healer in my head, and I can’t wait to see more from her character.

Also, there was this line in this chapter that just…it made me giggle and it was pretty great. So I thought I’d share it:

But at this moment, in this bathroom at our unplottable house in the middle of Muggle London, I could make her feel a little more normal.

Really lovely chapter!

Author's Response: Mikeala!

Aaahh! I seriously don't know how to thank you for all these reviews, but this one... wow. You've just outdone yourself - and I keep reading it.

So - I really, really enjoy writing the sappy love scenes between these two. They have a hard time verbally expressing their feelings (most of the time - this chapter appears to be an exception), and it's nice for them to have these moments.

It seems a bit ironic (or maybe it's not at all) that both Rose and Scorpius seem more comfortable being open when talking to the baby than with each other. Their love isn't any less intense, but they always seem to get caugth up in other things and can't simply *say* to each other how they feel.

And haha - hold on to your thoughts on the prophecy. There is a bit more to come on that front.

Selenia is really, really one of my favorites too! I love her and she's such a great friend.

Eeep! (my favorite line too) Thanks so much for pointing it out!

♥ Beth

 Report Review

Review #20, by Tonks1247Actions Speak Louder than Words: Bound by Blood: Rose and Scorpius POV

13th August 2015:

AH! This was such a sweet chapter! I mean, I know that Scorp is a little slow on the pick-up about Rose being pregnant and the prophecy (Not that Rose seems to remember the thought pattern), but like…the fact that Scorpius doesn’t want her worrying about anything but hearing the baby’s heartbeat…it’s such a big moment for them! Especially after getting engaged just before that! Like, big chapter with big changes and I absolutely adore what you’ve constructed here! It really is just perfect!

I also love how Scorpius was able to keep Albus in the dark. It made me giggle to think of Scorp raising his wand against Albus and then to let Selenia in on the secret without Albus finding out. Like, poor Al and his poorly observation skills…though I know if Scorp would have let him in on the secret…well, this would have been a pretty interesting chapter.

Overall though, I feel you did quite well with this chapter! Every time something happens, it’s always one thing followed by a ton of things. I love it, as it makes the story hard to predict, and it really pulls me in. So really, excellent job with this! I am going to share one of my favourite lines from this chapter, just cause I love Scorpius a little bit…

I think it may have been the first time in his life where he realized what Rose actually meant to me and how far I was willing to go to protect her.

Lovely chapter!

(Also putting this in for BvB review fest! :D )

Author's Response: Hi there Mikeala,

I'm putting in a last-ditch effort to get all of my reviews answered. I'd really like to get everthing done this weekend. (Eeep! - now I'm stressing)

Scorpius can be a bit clueless - he is a *guy* after all, but he at least tries to do his best.

Albus is super passionate and protective - especially of the people he loves the most (like Selenia and Rose), so he it's tough to predict how he will react to this. Selenia and Scorpius (and Rose - haha) agree it's best to just sit on this for a bit so Rose and Scorpius can digest it.

Yay! I'm so, so happy that you feel this story is hard to predict. That is the best compliment. I really, really wanted the readers to be riveted and unsure of what was to come next, so I can't tell you how excited I am right now!

Thanks again!

♥ Beth

 Report Review

Review #21, by Tonks1247Actions Speak Louder than Words: Bound by Love: Rose and Scorpius POV

13th August 2015:

I think tonight may be the night I can get through my remaining reviews to be all caught up with this story…or at least that’s going to be my attempt tonight. We’ll see how it goes. And these reviews will be included in the BvB review fest as well!

I will not comment about how much I love Scorpius. I won’t talk about the way I can’t help but smile when he calls Rose ‘Ro’, or how he wakes her up early, gently and is just so incredibly sweet, or about how he has this big thing planned and how he takes her to the Cannon’s pitch and then uses the ring as a decoy snitch and how he worries about Rose when she gets ill right after his proposal and how he panics that it’s the worst as he only wants the best for her. I won’t say it, but like, I kinda absolutely love Scorpius and I really do adore him. As long as I’m not talking about him.

Also. It was just before this chapter I figured out what was going on with Rose when I read things through the first time. I just sorta knew what was going on (Nursing school always helps) cause I noticed the patterns in what was going on with her but then when I read this chapter there was a whole new level of freak out. Because there’s a freaking prophecy that’s about a child of hers and no one has sat down and thought about it long enough to realize that Scorpius fits just as well as Stannous and just, like…crap. Things are getting real and then you end this chapter and just kinda leave that piece of information out there and I really just want to keep reading. Because Rose is usually more accepting of things than Scorpius and I know Scorp is going to throw this whole fit about this news and stop talking to Rose and I’m going to be highly upset at his stupidity. Only worse yet that he’s the greatest thing ever. xD

Anyways. There was one thing with this chapter that Imma be nitpicky about:

“Scorpius had to hold me up – the apparating made me dizzy, as usual and I lost my footing, as usual.” Should be a comma between the ‘usual’ and the ‘and’

This was a really lovely chapter and I’m happy to have time to move on to more! :D


Author's Response: Okay, time to reveal my deepest and darkest. I'm sorta in love with Scorpius too - haha. At some point in the story I was just like - forget this - I'm going to write about the guy I've always *thought* he should be to deserve Rose. And yeah, I love that he calls her "Ro" too. It's different than what her family calls her, but still special and unique to the two of them.

Haha - I tried to be more subtle with my patterns, but I was having a difficult time striking the balance between adding in a few clues here and there and making sure they weren't leading the reader totally astray. I don't think I could've hoped to fool a nursing student - haha!

Yes, Rose is much more willing to accept what's handed to her than Scorpius (*does happy dance that Mikaela knows my characters so well*), and that will definitely play out, but at the same time - this is what Scorpius has always dreamed about. He's a lot like Harry in that respect - and this is his dream, even if it comes along in a package that he didn't envision.

I'll fix that comma right now!


♥ Beth

 Report Review

Review #22, by Tonks1247Actions Speak Louder than Words: Bone Tired: Scorpius POV

13th August 2015:
Hiya Beth!

I made the decision to forgo sleeping and get at least one more review written. That and I really like this chapter and when I realized this was the next one to review, I couldn’t help it and decided to go for it! This’ll go in for BvB as well!

This chapter was another kind of slow down chapter. I mean, it’s back to Scorpius’ POV and I love all the things he notices. He’s so different from Rose and I really like the difference in their perspectives and how they see each other and their relationships with others. Like, it’s really lovely how these characters are so distinct but even when the POV switches, it’s still obvious which character is which. It’s really good to see that extend through numerous chapters.

Back to the original thought. While Rose takes the death of Ruth hard, things kind of slowdown in chapter. Everyone is busy with school (how much of a slowdown that is? Well, I’m not on the edge of my seat, which is good…) and just getting through the days. Having Selenia, Albus and Dom come to Scorpius and point out that Rose is acting different is good. It gives a fault to Scorpius, gives him doubts. And, I mean, he’s good at coming up with them himself, but it makes him a much more real character to have all these doubts about missing things. That and the way that they all ask him to talk to her and Albus with his little hypocritical was just a good chapter!

Also love the little things—some of which I actually caught the first time around and others that I didn’t get until this last read through. Rose’s….actions, I guess, are a little more put together and first time around, I was catching on that something was a little sideways with her and something wasn’t right. I was actually thinking it had something to do with Stannous and the curse. Not too far off from the lovely prophecy, but you know… Also, Scorpius with his plotting. That was totally lost on me the first time around. I don’t know how I missed it, but I’m definitely appreciating it the second time around.

Overall, this chapter was just as great as the others! I love coming through this story a second time and picking up on things that help with theories about future events. Gives me more questions (oh, the dreaded questions that always crop up while reading this story…) and more theories as to what will happen, which is great! I’m loving it!

Until next time,

Author's Response: Hey there Mikaela!

I don't know if I can accurately portray how happy I am that you've noticed a difference in the POV of Rose vs. Scorpius. I've worried about that from the start. I definitely *feel* different when I write for each of them, and I also really make an effort to do some sort of reveal in the first sentence or two as to who is the narrator at that time, but it really, really means a lot when a reader lets me know that they can definitely sense a different tone between the two. I feel it, but it's nice to know it's coming through in the writing. :)

About the slowdown - this chapter was definitely an add on to the original story, but I felt I needed a bridge to build up to what was about to happen. There had to be a reason, that Scorpius felt compelled to make his move =)

Gah! Thanks so much! I can't ever tell you how much it means that you let me know what you pick up on the second time through - that's a view that most authors don't get to see very often and I feel really, really blessed that you're letting me in on your thought process - for BOTH the first and second time around.

Thanks again!

♥ Beth

 Report Review

Review #23, by Tonks1247Actions Speak Louder than Words: Baffled: Scorpius and Rose POV

13th August 2015:
Hiya Beth!

I’m back for another Chapter (which will be included in BvB)! I think this may be my last chapter for the night, though I may go on to one more due to the end of this chapter. Dang cliff hangers….


Okay, so, I kept being suspicious of Ruth. And I wasn’t quite sure how to explain why her character just didn’t sit right with me. I mean, I know it’s good to have a therapist, someone on the outside to talk to, but with Rose’s situation…that’s a problem. For her to have someone that she puts so much of herself in with the PTSD…I mean, Rose may not have said much to Ruth and Ruth may not have said anything in Bulgaria, but for her to be killed with the spell Stannous used on Rose…well, this is why Ruth’s character didn’t sit well with me. Because it was just another outside source where information moved. And it bothered me because there was this nasty feeling that something was going to go wrong and here it is, rounding out with Ruth’s death. This is why I had an issue with Ruth. (I know you didn’t want her to be suspicious, but I didn’t mean it in a bad context as in she was plotting against Rose or anything. I just had this gut feeling something wasn’t going to go well with that whole situation and this would be why. xD)

Okay. Chilling out my explosion there. I really liked how Rose got this opportunity to ask some questions and actually hear the prophecy. I was hoping that the prophecy would be shared directly (Kudos for such a well written one! Those things are hard to write!) because I really wanted to see it and I know Hermione is thinking a little bit past Stannous and Bellatrix. I can’t wait for her to share her train of thought there… But I also love how Harry knows Rose has more questions that she doesn’t want to ask in front of anyone. Like, seriously. The relationships Rose has with people are so nice and just…I really adore her family!

The other thing I wanted to mention, on my second read through, is all the stuff I caught the second time through—again. Rose with her feeling nauseous, and not hungry, and tired and Scorpious being totally fine with leaving Rose with Harry in a hurry…Hah, it’s good knowing things and then coming back to read them. You notice a lot more and put pieces together…

There was one small thing in this chapter:

“I pulled hand out of Dad’s grasp to rub my head.” –I’m thinking this sentence is missing a word and will then make sense in that paragraph, but then again, I was a bit confused with the paragraph anyways. So maybe take a peek at it?

Great job on this chapter! I absolutely adore this story and hope I can get through at least one more chapter before bed tonight….


Author's Response: Hiya Mikaela,

I see your point about Ruth - and it totally makes sense. I never intended her to be any direct threat to Rose, but you're completely right. She had a LOT of information that would be very valuable to Stannous. I guess time will tell ;)

Gah! Thank you so much for your comment about the prophecy! I was really, really worried that it sounded amateur-ish. I worked on it for quite while and I was finally like "okay - this is as good as it's gonna get." when I posted it.

I've made an effort NOT to have huge dramatic confrontations within the family. I've read (and thoroughly enjoyed) a bunch of stories that use the family for the main source of plot, but I really wanted to write something different - where the next-gen kids had their own "bad guy" to get rid of. It's just the icing on the cake that the original crew is around to help out.

And I can't tell you how much I LOVE that you found additional details when you re-read the story. I've tried so, so hard not to be too obvious or too vague about the little things I put in here and there - and I think that the fact that you knew something was off the first time around, but found everything the second time lets me know that I've hit it just right - Eeep!!

Thanks so very much!

♥ Beth

 Report Review

Review #24, by Tonks1247Actions Speak Louder than Words: Broomsticks and Breathing: Scorpius and Rose POV

13th August 2015:
Hiya Beth!

I’m back for another Chapter (which will be included in BvB)!

So. I really loved this chapter. And I adore how you slowed everything down after the intense situation in the previous chapters! It was a good and needed break. And it gave a good look at Rose and Selenia’s friendship and at Albus and Scorpius’ friendship. And Albus and Rose’s. Like, seriously. This chapter was a good step back for all of them, giving them time to calm down and be ready to get back together and not be so sideways. It was nice.

I also love how the POV switched back and forth. It did take me a minute to figure out when the switches occurred, but I think it was a good thing to see what was happening to all the characters in the same weekend. And it was transitioned well. I liked the set up and it made it easy to go about writing.

What else do I have about this chapter…I adored Scorp’s slow realization that Rose was Rose. He was totally shocked with her haircut and everything and it was a good reaction. Made me laugh a little that they played the name question game. Seriously, I giggled and it was really bad.

Ron was also super fun in this chapter. I love his inability to sneak around and being spotted by Rose so much. Also love how he tried to tag along with Rose only for Rose to pick to go into a particular store. And then for Selenia and Rose to come out to Ron and Harry. Like, I was laughing so hard. The poor guys…

There were also TONS of little things I noticed reading this through the second time. Like Rose being nauseous at all kinds of weird times, and Scorp wanting Albus to go to Diagon Alley with him and the whole conversation after flying. Like, seriously, how slow can I be? (Then again, first time through I was so distracted by everything else going on, so missing that stuff was bound to happen…).

There was one small thing I noticed:

“…it was perfect to wear during the rainy London spring - and the all as well” –for all I think you meant fall

Past that, this chapter was quite lovely. I apologize that my review is such a mess to admitting it’s good and I quite adored it, but I got all my thoughts out so I can’t complain too much…

And before I go on, I have a favourite discussion and then a line that should be a tagline to this story—no joke.

“We really are pathetic, you know.” // “Don’t you mean whipped?” // “Tomato, tomahto.”

I just couldn’t shake the feeling that something bad was about to happen.

Always something… xD Great chapter!

Author's Response: Hi Mikaela!

I'm still working through all your amazing reviews! Thanks for all your comments on this chapter.

Yeah, I agree - everyone needed some down time at this point in the story and I had SO MUCH fun writing this one.

I was a little nervous for all the POV switches, but I think it needed to be done to go back and forth between what was happening with both groups.

And a note on Ron: although he comes across as a little clueless here, he's being seen from Rose's POV and that's kind of always how she sees her dad. In reality, he's just DARING anyone to come near his daughter. He's flexing his serious Auror muscles here and doesn't care who knows. Rose just doesn't see it that way :)

Ooo - thanks for noticing that typo - I'll fix it right up.

Wow - you're right - I really do like that tagline for the story. I'm seriously considering changing it.

Thanks again and again and again =)

♥ Beth

 Report Review

Review #25, by Tonks1247Actions Speak Louder than Words: Baleful: Rose POV

13th August 2015:
Heya Beth!

Another chapter for tonight! For BvB fest as well!


Okay. I’m okay. Really. I am. Melodramatic means I’m okay. XD

I guess I’ll start with the most irrelevant(ish) commentary: Ron and Hermione are adorable. Like, almost to the point where I can’t handle how adorable they are. That whole moment when Ron realized how hard this prophecy struck her and how he went to her…like, I’m apparently a huge Ron/Hermione shipper because that moment got me so much as Ron wanted nothing more than Hermione to be okay and not freak out. It was super sweet.

Next thing: The prophecy. Like. What? The fact that Rose learns about it and the fact that everyone instantly moves to Stannous and like…what? He’s such a freaking creep and for him to think that he could be the father of this baby in this prophecy? And Scorpius also believing this? Like, I’m sorry, but right hand man of Voldemort puts me to Lucius, although I guess I could see where Bellatrix could come in. But like, c’mon. Scorp knew about this prophecy and suddenly he throws a fit and goes all quiet and needing space right when Rose finds out! So frustrating! (On a side note here, I regularly check for review responses and I just wanted to say adore their relationship! I know I’m super melodramatic, but this on again off again thing is just something that fits with these characters too well! Like, the way you have it written fits so well with Rose and Scorpius’ characters and as much as I go off about how ridiculous they both are (which they really are), I love every moment of it. Despite me being melodramatic. And yeah.)

And yet again another big thing I wanted to discuss: having to use obliviate on Selenia and Jax. I mean, Dom seems to take it pretty well with her I have to go obliviate my boyfriend now comment, but Albus…like him having to use obliviate on Selenia and the fact that he only did it for the mention of the prophecy…I just want to cry. He let her keep the memory to be mad at him and just…Albus is so sweet and remorseful of being rude to her and just…it was a really hard scene to read because Albus’ feelings are so well known and I really, really loved it.

What else was there for commentary…well, Rose having more freedoms is good. I mean, I’m surprised she lasted as long as she did with being locked in the house. I woulda lost it long before her, which is saying something as I spend a lot of time on my own when I am at home (not that I’m home much, admittedly), but she made it quite a while before being done with the whole situation. Hopefully the freedom works for her well and things don’t go crazy again (Yeah, I know the likelihood of that one…).

Overall, this was an intense chapter. I absolutely loved it!

Author's Response: Haha!

Melodramatic means I'm okay.

This is MY favorite line of YOURS! I'm so excited right now.

I'm also a huge Ron/Hermione shipper! And writing them in this has prompted me to write a back story for the two of them.

Haha - I guess I didn't cleverly hide the fact that Scorpius is likely to be the father in the prophecy as well. I think I've mentioned this before, but this was my first attempt at writing ANYTHING and part of the growing pains with that is that I simply don't know what I'm doing. I stress over little details that I put in, hoping that they aren't too vague or too obvious. I'm also worried about WHEN I reveal something and if it's the right time or not. Oh well, I guess I'll figure it out - but your reviews are super helpful!

Dom is definitely the most practical member of the group. It's even a miracle that she *has* a boyfriend. Albus is all passion and impulse, but he loves Selenia so dearly that he's willing to let her be angry with him for his transgressions because it would be wrong for him to obliviate any more than what was absolutely necessary.

Haha - yeah, I don't think I would've been able to last as long as Rose has with all those restrictions - especially with no end in sight!

Thanks again!

♥ Beth

 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login

<Previous Page  Jump:     Next Page>