Reading Reviews From Member: Tonks1247
  
306 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Tonks1247With Sudden Joy: With Sudden Joy

28th August 2015:
Hello! This is Nymphie Tonks from the forums, swinging by for the BvB review battle!

I really enjoyed what you managed with this story. I wasn’t really sure what to expect, walking into a situation where the main character is an OC and a next gen OC at that, but you’ve really given me a good view into Henry’s character and his life at Hogwarts. I could definitely see his character in my head and the further I got into the story, the better of an understanding of his character I got.

Henry’s voice in this story is brilliant. He’s one of the more quiet types of people, enjoying watching others and getting ideas from others—like his running. He decides he wants to run, and as hard as he finds it is at first, he keeps going. He gets to the point where he’s running, and he’s not quite sure why he keeps running, other than it’s soothing. Also, as he goes on to talk about his garden, and how he appreciates working in the garden and tending to the plants…the way he described all the care he provided really gave his character a voice that was understandable and relatable. There were numerous times where I thought Henry could definitely be someone walking this earth, thinking and doing these things…it really was great!

Another thing that I think really brought his character to life was the career thing. He really wasn’t sure what he wanted to do, but figured since he’d thought again and again about healing, that maybe that was what he wanted to do. He didn’t really spend much more time thinking about and just sort of let it go. Until Lillian said something that caused McGonagall and Hagrid to suggest something that he really would enjoy. It was just a really sweet moment and I think more people around that age would appreciate some sort of guidance or suggestions as to what they would enjoy doing—with it being as personally thought out as this.

I did find one little things while I was reading…

“He tosses it across the table, and Henry nabs it before lands in the butter.” –I think you want the word ‘it’ between ‘before’ and ‘lands’

Despite that one small thing, I quite enjoyed this story. One of my favourite parts was Henry talking to Lillian, and how he wasn’t quite sure of her name, but she seemed to remember him well. It made me giggle just a little bit.

Really great job on this!
-Mikaela

Author's Response: Hi! Thank you for the review!

I guess I always forget to think about context when it comes to characters, haha. Like, the fact that people wouldn't be super excited by a Next Gen OC never really crossed my mind, even though it probably should have. I think I subconsciously tried to add in familiar faces and names-- Louis, Hagrid, McGonagall-- but that was pretty much it. So, I'm really glad that you still felt like you were able to connect to Henry! It's such a huge compliment that you think he could be a real person.

I really like your point about Henry's personality. I absolutely agree that he is the quiet type, but I also think you're totally right that he's also an observational person. It makes sense that a young person would draw a lot of ideas from the people he admires, and that some of those ideas, like running, would turn out to be really great, and that others, like Healing, might not be the best fit.

The career question is definitely one that resonates with me, and I'm sure that I'm not alone in sometimes wondering about what career I'll actually settle into. I've also definitely seen a lot of people who just assumed that they were going to go into a particular field when it seemed pretty clear to other people that it was just a phase. Then again, you never really know if it's going to be a phase until the end, right? Anyway, I definitely agree that having some guidance can be a savior. And I picture both McGonagall and Hagrid as such parental figures that I could easily imagine them encouraging Henry to take on this new job. I don't know if I originally intended Lillian to make the suggestion to McGonagall, or if it was more a type of situation where everyone could see that Henry was cut out for gamekeeping except Henry, but I think either interpretation works.

Thank you for pointing out that typo! I will certainly fix it. Thank you for leaving such a lovely, thoughtful review! I really appreciate it.


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Review #2, by Tonks1247Keep Calm and Carry On: A Guide to Keeping Calm and Apparating

24th August 2015:
Hiya J!

To start, thank you! I popped on because I had some time to read before bed and of course, seeing as this was updated, I knew what my reading for the night would be. And then to get into this chapter to see it’s dedicated to me? Like, that’s totally crazy! Especially because I’m just stopping by to leave a review for this story because I absolutely love the characters and the plot and just everything…Seriously. YOU are the best because this story is just wonderful!

That said, I absolutely loved this chapter. It’s one of my favourites so far, which if you could see the word document into which I copy and pasted my favourite lines? Well, it would be pretty obvious.

I love the comments that Lorcan makes, the ones he thinks in his head about the stuff going on around him…he’s seriously the type of person I could see myself spending a lot of time with. He’s got the same sort of sense of humour/sarcasm as me and just…he’d be a fun character to hang out with! I love how he’s not afraid to admit to where his insecurities are and comment about them. Some of my favourite moments included his ability to take out people while apparating, his ability to hold conversation with others, and his whole side-along apparating thing. Like, seriously. Lorcan is just great!

I also like this thing that’s not really a thing with Lorcan and Lily. It definitely adds a little different touch to the office situation, especially when Lorcan ends up flirting with Camille (if you really can call it flirting…) and Erick suggests he takes her on a fake date. I’m not sure if that idea is going to be taken further, but I quite enjoy how Lorcan is really bad in those situations and how he listens to see how Lily’s date went. (Also, with Lily having Celiac disease, I think it’s a good little piece of information. I like what it does for her character, with her likes in dating and such. It was for sure interesting!)

Plot wise, I like this ‘Order’ assembly meeting. And how the other party is the Hammers of Witchcraft. It was a really creative introduction to how Wizarding politics work and I think it opens the floor for tons of possibilities. I am eager to see how the campaign commences from here, with there being one big competitor for Branson in the Order (plus another person) and then the big election…you definitely have plenty of possibilities as to where to take this!

Before I get to my favourite lines, there were a couple things I noticed…

“She couldn’t share cups or bottles with anybody who eaten gluten in the past three hours, or–“ –I think you’re missing a word. Maybe ‘had’ between ‘who’ and ‘eaten’

“There were many tables arranged in a slightly wonky square in the centre of the table, and…” –I think the table just before the and there is supposed to be room? Or something other than table?

“He did like to make Branson’s a living hell, after all…” – again, maybe missing a word? I think you want ‘life’ between ‘Branson’s’ and ‘a’

This chapter looked really good other than those few things! It was quite the entertaining read and I can’t wait to see where you go from here!

Also, before I hit my favourite lines, I have ideas about whose in what house:

Erick –Slytherin; Branson-Gryffindor?; Lorcan-Hufflepuff; Lily-Ravenclaw?; Linda-Gryffindor; Bruce-Haven’t decided; Peter-Hufflepuff?

And I will do two favourite lines, despite the fact I loved quite a number more or them…

Do you wave to somebody you’re going to see in like two minutes? I guess I do, at least.

I got a pretty cool scar out of that ordeal, though, so it wasn’t a total loss.


Lovely chapter! Thanks for the dedication of the chapter and I’m looking forwards to a new chapter!

-Mikaela

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Review #3, by Tonks1247Actions Speak Louder than Words: Blitz and Building: Rose and Scorpus POV

17th August 2015:
Hiya Beth!

I was just doing my final chapter check of the night (glancing at my currently reading stories to see if anyone had updated their stories), and I noticed this story had a new chapter. And while I should technically be going to bed, I couldn’t not read the chapter and then decided that I should also review it right away as I will have limited (if any) wifi until Friday.

Also, before jumping in here, I have to thank you for writing such an intense story, one that’s easy to fall into and binge read in one night. Like, I absolutely love what you have set up here and I love your characters and how they interact. I loved it the night I binge read it and I have been trying really hard to review EVERYTHING I read. I’m just happy I was able to stay focused and get all caught up on the chapters. I enjoy the read and leaving my melodramatic reactions afterwards. xD

With that said. On with the review.

This chapter was amazing. I love the attack and how Scorpius managed to hold his own with the thought of Rose in mind. I was feeling pretty nervous after he took that spell and then realized that there were Auror’s, but they were on the far side of the Death Eaters. I wasn’t sure what was going to happen and was praying that Rose wouldn’t get hurt and then Harry and Ron showed up and I about died of relief. I knew they were okay from that point.

As for what transpires after that? I loved the detail. I love how Scorpius has to explain what he knew and what he did. I will admit, for a teeny tiny second after I finished the last chapter, I was thinking this was some sort of drill for his S.N.A.K.E.s exam (surprise exams aren’t that out there….), but then realized how cruel that would be to him. And that the exam probably is in a more secure and structures location. And that I was being ridiculous. BUT. The fact that this did end up counting for his S.N.A.K.E.s is amazing though! It really does help take some of the pressure off him!

I also love how Harry and Healer Lawrence talk and work out the best healer position for Rose. I was thinking she was going to have to push off the decision, but the fact that everything she wants is combined into one position for her? Like, I can’t even put words to how I feel about it! I know what it’s like to have to choose (Darn Nursing School) so getting the best of all of it (well, best in terms of what she wants to do…not the injuries or anything…) really is amazing. I love that she gets the opportunity!

The only down side? She keeps putting off a piece of information to tell Harry. Or trying to remember what it is. Or anything about her case trial thing. It makes me just a little ball of anxiety. That, and this chapter ended pretty peacefully. Everyone is chatting and happy and thinking about the future. I’m concerned. Like, it’s really bad, but I know something bad is going to occur and just…I don’t know what. It makes me anxious!

This was a really, really excellent chapter. There were two small things I noticed:

“We’ll be able interrogate and prosecute the eight you caught.” –there should be a ‘to’ between able and ‘interrogate’
“Although in hospital, I slept better than I had in weeks, with Scorpius at my side.” –I think there should be a ‘the’ between ‘in’ and ‘hospital’

Besides those though, this chapter was great! It was a good read and gave a good combination of happy/relaxed and anxious/scary. Great job!

-Mikaela

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Review #4, by Tonks1247Keep Calm and Carry On: A Guide to St. Mungo's and Carrying On

17th August 2015:
Hiya!

Finally found a few moments to pop by, and I’m quite glad I did. Lorcan is such an entertaining character. He’s definitely one that I would get along with well because I tend to have the dry humour and sarcasm down to a T. I’m not quite as clumsy as he is…but that does add to his characterization. It makes him seem more real and more relatable. It also is sort of entertaining to count the number of unfortunate things that can occur to him in a day (in a totally not mean way….).

I also love how in this chapter, Lorcan talks a bit about his sibling as does Lily. It gives me a better feel for the sort of platform you have under these characters and it puts their characters in perspective. Maybe it’s just because I like people watching, and many times if you find out bits and pieces of their lives, it makes their behaviour more understandable.

Whatever the case, I really enjoyed the conversation there and all the talk about who else would run for Minister. I feel you did a really good job of pulling in how cold and just…methodical politics is. I will admit, I tend to duck and cover when politics is the topic of conversation because I don’t understand why it has to be so calculated. I mean, I do, but sometimes it’s just so mean… But. On topic. I feel you describe the behind the scenes well and I cannot wait to see where you take it next!

I am curious as to how the young man who looked vaguely familiar will reappear, because I have a feeling he will. Well, from the way it’s put, I’m fairly confident he will, but without knowing much more, I won’t put theories out…

Anyways. Fantastic job with this chapter! I quite enjoyed the read and the characters you’re presenting. And, as I finish up here, here are my two favourite lines from the chapter:

“Are platypuses–platypi? that sounds better…”

What is it with this office and eye rolling? Do I roll my eyes a lot? Is it contagious?


-Mikaela

Author's Response: Ugh Mikaela you're seriously the best. -insert :wub: emoticon here- This review is so lovely!

I'm glad you find Lorcan entertaining! He's definitely sarcastic and dry, almost painfully so. It's hard to keep his thoughts on track when writing because he just wants to make snarky observations all the time! To be honest, his clumsiness is based entirely on my own clumsiness. I embarrass myself through physical misfortune far, far too regularly. So I wanted to take that out on a character. I mean...portray that in a character...

Yay I also love doing that and learning more about people! Lysander has unquestionably impacted Lorcan-- as you can kinda tell from this chapter, he's quite the character! Outgoing, flirty, Gryffindor Lysander v snarky, clumsy, Ravenclaw Lorcan. And then you throw in Lorcan's parents! What a childhood they must have had...I haven't fleshed out Lily's family in the KCACO universe as much yet (although I know this James is very, very different from MFS!James) but that's something that will develop over the story!

I totally, 100% relate to what you mean about politics being mean! I also actually rather hate following politics and the personalities that go along with it. (Like Donald Trump right now.) But I also feel really sympathetic for the politicians themselves who are hoping to get stuff done. So I'm trying to balance that in here! I'm glad you liked it and hopefully the rest of the story will continue to interest you like that.

Aha! You may be onto something. ;) (I always really really love when readers pick up on random things I throw down! Great job!)

Seriously, Mikaela, without fail you pick out my favorite quotes from the chapter. It's kinda freaking me out at this point. But I'm glad you find it funny and not just weird/all over the place! :D

Thanks so much for another wonderful review!

--J


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Review #5, by Tonks1247This Bird Has Flown: a cynic and an idealist walk into a bar

15th August 2015:
Heya!

I was creeping around the forums earlier today and opened a bunch of links to stories I found as I went. I’ve been on a bit of an R&R kick for the past couple days so I decided to add some random stories to the list tonigh, and it just so happens I found the link to this story!

That said, I quite enjoyed this story! The style of it was a lot different than many of the stories I’ve read recently and it was really refreshing! It was rather dialogue heavy, but you managed the dialogue in a smooth fashion that made it easy to read. It also helps that your narration was so natural and so distinct as Scorpius. I mean, it’s third person point of view but the way the story read made it seem more personal. It sounded voiced from his character, or the view I got from his character, which was really, really lovely.

His voice also helped walk me through his night. It was easy to see him walking into this pub and taking a moment to try to figure out why all these gruff and eccentric men were as lively as they were. I could see his draw into the place and the need to sit and people watch, as one of the best things is people watching.

I love the interaction between Lucy and Scorpius as well. It’s almost got an edge of awkward to it, but at the same time, it doesn’t. Like, I don’t exactly know how to put words to how the conversation felt, but it was very fitting of those two characters and I feel like I got to know a lot about them based on how they spoke and what they said. It was pretty impressive, as I haven’t read much of Lucy’s character, but from what my head cannon is, you’ve written her entirely different. (Which is awesome, don’t get me wrong! The way you described her, I can definitely see it and it’s just as fitting as what I think of her, if that makes any sense at all.)

I also love how you describe the place where Lucy lives and how she doesn’t have rooms and just a ton of those little details. It really says something about her character and I can see where Scorpius’ fascination is. I also love how you leave the end sort of open, with Scorpius leaving her a note. It’s really intriguing.

There were two small things that I noticed:

“She crumbled up her piece of paper that she was so enthralled in minutes before.” –I think here, crumpled may work better than crumbled

“What of was anyone’s guess.” It could totally be a style thing, but I think ‘Of what’ works a little better than ‘what of’.

Overall though, I really enjoyed this story! It was different and it gave me a much different view of Lucy and of Scorpius. It was quite lovely!

And I will leave off with one of my favourite quotes from this story:

“I wanted to read two very specific books that didn’t exist, so I wrote them myself.”

-Mikaela

(OH! I also loved the chapter title! XD)

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Review #6, by Tonks1247Actions Speak Louder than Words: Bated Breath: Scorpius POV

14th August 2015:
Hiya!

Back for the FINAL chapter to finally get myself caught up! I also have finally passed my 300th review on the forums somewhere in this last spell of review dropping….quite the accomplishment I think! And as exciting as it all is, I’m also putting this in for BvB review fest!

So. I loved this chapter. And I know I’ve said it about other chapters, but I love this chapter in a different way than the others. This chapter was a moment in which we not only saw the strength of the love between Rose and Scorpius but Selenia just spoke out against one of her superiors and she really took charge of the situation. She was able to put her personal feelings and thoughts aside to focus on Rose as a patient. She refuted Healer Lawrence’s call about the potion, advocating for the sake of the baby, and then got Scorp to speak to her and calm her down. She then kicks everyone out of the room after Rose has woken up in order to give her time to rest. Like, dang. She really stepped up, outside of how even tempered and go with the flow that she is, and took charge of the situation. It was a good thing for her character and I really loved it.

Rose and Scorpius were really good in this chapter too. I like how Scorpius has kind of figured out that him and Rose need each other. Distancing himself did nothing but hurt the both of them, and that he really doesn’t want to be without her. I mean, it’s unfortunate that it took an event like this for him to realize he was looking at things all wrong, but I’m glad he’s finally figured it out. And that he’s by Rose’s side. I was beginning to miss the two of them xD

There is one small thing with this chapter, though. This sentence:

“But we may have to weigh the risks versus the rewards of administering it early.”

I am going to suggest, instead of using rewards, to use benefits. It may be the nursing part of my brain speaking, but I think it’s a better word to use as it’s generally used in the healthcare field and rewards just…I don’t know. It doesn’t sound quite as good in terms of using a potion.

Overall though, I really loved this chapter. It gave rise to some other character development and, of course, Scorp is going to be by Rose’s side now (Hopefully). It was a really lovely chapter and I’ll leave off with a line that I quite enjoyed:

Even though she’d been the one in mortal peril today, somehow it felt like I was the one that’d been saved.

Can’t wait for new chapters! :D
-Mikaela

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Review #7, by Tonks1247Actions Speak Louder than Words: Beating Heart: Scorpius POV

14th August 2015:
Hiya! Back for another chapter! Putting it in for BvB as well.

AH! WHY DOES THE INTENSITY DO THIS TO ME! I’m such a mess from this chapter because I understand what it’s like to be in a hospital and anxious about things going on and fearing the worst and then you have Ron stepping forward, along with all the Weasley’s really, to comfort Scorpius and help bring him through despite how things look with Rose. Seriously. You have me an emotional mess right now and I’m not quite sure I know how to react to the emotions spinning through my head.

You’ve done so, so much justice to Ron’s character here. Like, he admits how he has a problem with Malfoy’s and he blames Draco for Hermione’s torture just as much as Bellatrix’s, but like…it’s not the same with Scorpius. He isn’t his father and just…Ron’s whole speech seriously made me want to cry. He was so honest and he said exactly what Scorpius needed to hear. It was really touching and it was obvious that Ron struggled to get the words out through what you wrote and it was really very lovely.

With Rose’s condition….this high heart rate thing is giving me anxiety. Like, it’s obviously not good for either of them and this potion they are giving isn’t good in high doses to the baby and it’s just…it’s not a good situation. It’s making me super anxious especially because I’m pretty sure this is strictly related to WHY she fell and is related to Stannous. I know Scorpius has that thought in his head and he better not let it fade away because something fishy is going on with the whole situation and it’s just not cool.

Also, the fact that you can extend happy/fluffy feelings over a couple chapters to then turn around and put anxiety all over the place in the next few is cruel. Like, I really love your writing style and how you can work a plot like this, but at the same time…like, I don’t know how to function with this back and forth! I’m way too attached to these character for my own good…. (But it’s totally fine cause I totally love it, no matter how melodramatic I am!)

And, because I can’t help it, I’m leaving three quotes that I quite enjoyed for one reason or another. You had a lot of good lines here and just…great, great job dear!

I couldn’t remember the hallways being so long before. There must’ve been some sort of magical enchantment on them to make them longer when you needed to get through them as fast as possible

Perhaps she shouldn’t be so rude to upset fiancés.

“Scorpius, we are not our parents. I’ll never forgive your father, but you can’t beat yourself up for something that you had absolutely no control over.”


-Mikaela

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Review #8, by Tonks1247Actions Speak Louder than Words: Blackout: Rose and Scorpius POV

14th August 2015:
Hiya! Back for another chapter! Putting it in for BvB as well.

WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY? THIS IS NOT COOL! THIS IS WHY I HAVE PROBLEMS KEEPING MY COOL FOR REVIEWS! Things are fine, and then they’re not and then there’s a cliff hanger that’s gonna push me further to losing my chill. AH!

Okay. That’s outta my system. Now. To this chapter.

I don’t even know where to begin. There are so many little things that I noticed that I feel the need to mention, mostly because I think it could be significant, but there are a ton of other things I could mention and be dramatic about because this was such a cruel end to a chapter.

Imma start with Rose and her school stuff. Scorp ignoring her or I guess avoiding her is on all my wrong nerves during this part. I get why he’s doing it, but she’s so miserable and stressed without him and just…the pair of them make me sad cause they’re both so miserable. But. School. Rose’s assignments with these cases and the opportunity to put together the pieces to solve them is awesome. I think it’s one of those things I would quite enjoy doing. I also laugh that the first couple were pretty easy for her to figure out.

As for that last case? Well. I’m not liking any little bit of it. It’s really creepy, and the fact that it’s sticking with Rose and not seeming right…there is definitely something fishy going on. Especially as I started looking at facts and seeing things written here that seem mentioned previously. So. The parts that get me:

For a moment I got lost in the depths of that steel-gray eye. It emphasized the tuft of white hair speckled with ash….However, I would know that lightning bolt anywhere.

“And the fact that it was made to look like an accident…”


Like. What? White hair? Things LOOKING like an accident? Scorpius’ parents dead. Some kitchen explosion ACCIDENT. Like. Maybe I’m just putting things together because I’m reading too far into it (As a ‘Claw and nursing student, I’m a pro at reading into things that shouldn’t be) but like…somethings sideways. ESPECIALLY WHEN THE NEXT MORNING COMES!

Rose leaves the baby picture and the ribbon he appreciated so much with him only to lose it on the stairs? Like. I could see it happening. The slipping. But some ‘force’ being there helping her along? I’m seeing. ESPECIALLY WITH THIS LINE:

As I was desperately flailing my arms to grab on to something, I caught a glimpse of a fuzzy figure in a dark robes with light hair stood on the top step.

WHAT!?! Why, Beth, why? It’s not cool for all these suspicious things to be going on and causing all sorts of anxiety! Because the fact that Al shows up and tells Scorp that his whole world is trying to fall apart…It makes me so sad and anxious for him! (Though, you know how I said something bad had to happen before Scorp figured out how unimportant being the ‘evil’ part of the prophecy is? Yeah.)

But seriously. This chapter was absolutely amazing. I loved the suspense (and the fact that this cliff hanger is the cruellest thing ever (which I love but hate at the same time, ya know?) and pushes me to go on to more chapters) and the time you took to put in these small details I noted (important or not) and just…everything. It’s all given me theories and made me think (which is a dangerous thing, I hope you know), and it’s just really, really lovely!

Before I go, I do need to share this. Because I’m one of those people (due to nursing school) who can talk about the grossest things over lunch and not even think twice about it. XD

I found it amazing that apparating downstairs could make me so queasy I would lose lunch everywhere, but looking at these photos didn’t even give me butterflies in my stomach.

-Mikaela

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Review #9, by Tonks1247Actions Speak Louder than Words: Betrothed: Rose POV

14th August 2015:
Hiya! Back for another chapter! Putting it in for BvB as well.

Why does Scorp need to be so overdramatic? I mean, I totally can see where he’s coming from. I get that this prophecy and making him the father and the ‘evil’ side of things is bad, and I know why it hurts him. He doesn’t want to be a bad influence and he wants for Rose and the baby to be good and to be okay, but he’s making me sad. His life has been so difficult, with losing his parents and being labelled as a Malfoy, and for this prophecy to hit him so hard….it’s just not cool! Feel so bad for him!

As for Rose? Well. She’s had time to adjust to the prophecy. It didn’t really say anything about her she didn’t know or rejected for most of her life. She took time to accept it and now she’s gotta do the same for Scorp and I know it’s killing her. It’s like the fact that they both loved each other for so long but wouldn’t make a single move to do something about it or tell each other. It’s such a slow process and I’m sure Scorp is going to do exactly what he shouldn’t do and continue to avoid her until something dramatic happens and he realizes that maybe it’s not as big of a deal as he thinks it is….

Also in this chapter, I love how James comes home just for Rose’s announcement. I love how excited she got for him. I also may have laughed a lot at Fred’s congratulations to Rose and Scorpius about the baby. More than I should have, yet besides.

I also love how Hermione was able to plan such a big party so fast and have food and everything else prepared in a matter of hours. It really doesn’t surprise me much, but it was funny how Rose pointed that out so obviously as well.

Another lovely chapter!
-Mikaela

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Review #10, by Tonks1247Actions Speak Louder than Words: Bound by Fate: Scorpius POV

13th August 2015:
Hiya Beth! Back for another chapter! Putting it in for BvB as well.

AH! OH MY FREAKING GOSH I KNEW THIS WAS COMING AND I REMEMBER READING THIS CHAPTER THE FIRST TIME AND I’VE BEEN WANTING THEM TO REALIZE IT FOR THE LAST COUPLE OF CHAPTERS BUT NOW THAT IT’S HERE I WANNA TAKE IT BACK!

Okay. Give me a minute to calm myself down. Because this chapter hit a little harder than expected (or that I remembered) and it’s just so not cool.

So. The prophecy is speaking of a child between Rose and Scorpius. I know Rose kind of figured it out before her mum said it and Scorp wasn’t far behind but I know his reaction to this is going to bad. Not only because I’ve read all the chapters, but because, historically, Scorpius doesn’t handle bomb droppings very well. This, I know, is no exception.

Also, like, Rose is not going to handle Scorpius’ reaction well because she never handles his reactions well and just…they were such happy and fluffy people and Rose was being giggly and just adorable and now there’s this bomb and things are going to explode. Like, I love it, but Beth…you couldn’t just let it be? (Don’t answer that. I know. It was necessary. I know!)

Okay. Now that the initial freak out and rant is through. Other things in this chapter.

I love Rose and Scorpius. Scorp is so excited about this baby and I’m sure, given the opportunity, he would stare at the picture from the healer all day. And the fact that all he can do is watch her and just smile is just…it’s really sweet. It really shows how much they love each other, rather than everyone just saying ‘oh they love each other.’ It is really good to see that as it packs so much more emotion into it! Especially with Rose and Scorpius having these silly little conversations. Like, it almost hurts, how cute they are.

I also quite adored Scorpius after getting to Harry’s office to find Ron and Hermione there (what a great thing, for all the important people to be in the same place. Convenient xD). The way he made his little speech to Ron and sort of threatened him with his wand…well, it was just as excellent as Ron’s reaction to that little speech. I was honestly laughing so hard at that point, cause I could just see it in my head…it was pretty great! Also doesn’t help that after reading this line, all I could think was how it was a question Ron really didn’t want an answer to:

“I thought you were going to propose! H-how does… this happen be-before one proposes, Malfoy?!”

-coughs- I’m alright…

Another thing I liked, because apparently I’m really into Ron/Hermione, is how Ron encouraged Hermione to just saw what she had discovered. Their interactions are honestly some of the greatest things ever and I really may have to stop by that other story you have going to check it out. Because I really do love these two. And how Rose and Scorpius kinda mirror them as well…

Overall, this was a brilliant chapter. I know I went totally overdramatic for this review, but like…I couldn’t help it….Great job!

-Mikaela

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Review #11, by Tonks1247Actions Speak Louder than Words: Bound by Hope: Rose POV

13th August 2015:
Hiya Beth! Back for another chapter! Putting it in for BvB as well.

FLUFFY CHAPTERS WITH ROSE AND SCORPIUS ARE MY FAVOURITEST THINGS EVER! Not even kidding you. These last couple of chapters have been so sweet and have made me fall in love with these characters even more. Their relationship and situations seem so real and I love how I can feel things with them through the writing. It is really rather lovely and one of the many reasons I find myself coming back for another chapter.

There were many parts that made me giggle quite a bit. Pregnant Rose sass has to be one of my favourite things. Her POV is so much more entertaining when she’s ranting and raving and being irritation, to a point. These two lines are two that really stuck out this chapter:

Of course, he was being absolutely rotten about it. He was so completely understanding and compassionate; it was aggravating me all the more.

“…But if you spin me around like that right after I just threw up ever, ever again, I will make sure that the next vomit session ends up on you. In fact, I can almost guarantee it.”


The fact that she wants to get reaction out of him and for him to stop being so perfect just adds on to the entertainment. Having just completed all of my obstetrics rounds for nursing school also adds to the entertainment because there are always fun stories when hormones come in and we also talk about how the expectant mother is always right…

The only other thing from this chapter I’m going to question…October 31 as the due date. Didn’t really set anything off the first time reading it, but the second time…is it just the date that it happens to fall on or is there a specific plot point to it? Or is it better if you say nothing at all? Hmmm….

Great chapter!
-Mikaela

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Review #12, by Tonks1247Actions Speak Louder than Words: Bound by Honor: Rose and Scorpius POV

13th August 2015:
Hiya Beth! Back for another chapter! Putting it in for BvB as well.

I honest to goodness forgot how much I adored some of these chapters in here. Like, the fact that they’re adjusting to the news of being pregnant and in that happy phase and are engaged and just ready for the world…it’s really great. It’s so fluffy and it’s definitely a good break from the constant drama with these two. I know it can’t last, but like…they’re both really great right here.

I think I could probably go on and on about how great Scorpius is, as he knows Rose so well and loves her so obviously. He knew she’d have a break down and he’s just able to be the support she needs. The fact that he lets his doubts gets in the way is probably going to end badly, but the fact that he’s putting in a lot of effort and wanting to be the best he can for Rose and the baby is great!

With Rose…I think she’s actually adjusting quite well to the role. It’s super early, of course, but the fact that she tells Scorp the baby can’t hear her but then turns around to tell the baby all of these things…it’s really sweet. I love this side of Rose and how comfortable and happy she is, despite the prophecy weighing her down (Scorp had a perfect comeback for that BUT WHY DO THEY NOT PUT IT TOGETHER?! Gosh darn them being in love… xD)

I also have to share a little love with Selenia this chapter. She was amazing in the last chapter, with working out what was going on with Rose while not setting Albus off to it, but she was also really good at keeping Scorp calm. The fact that Scorp does feel good and comfortable talking with her is good and she’s just really brilliant when it comes to sharing information. She really does fit the picture of healer in my head, and I can’t wait to see more from her character.

Also, there was this line in this chapter that just…it made me giggle and it was pretty great. So I thought I’d share it:

But at this moment, in this bathroom at our unplottable house in the middle of Muggle London, I could make her feel a little more normal.

Really lovely chapter!
-Mikaela

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Review #13, by Tonks1247Actions Speak Louder than Words: Bound by Blood: Rose and Scorpius POV

13th August 2015:
Heya!

AH! This was such a sweet chapter! I mean, I know that Scorp is a little slow on the pick-up about Rose being pregnant and the prophecy (Not that Rose seems to remember the thought pattern), but like…the fact that Scorpius doesn’t want her worrying about anything but hearing the baby’s heartbeat…it’s such a big moment for them! Especially after getting engaged just before that! Like, big chapter with big changes and I absolutely adore what you’ve constructed here! It really is just perfect!

I also love how Scorpius was able to keep Albus in the dark. It made me giggle to think of Scorp raising his wand against Albus and then to let Selenia in on the secret without Albus finding out. Like, poor Al and his poorly observation skills…though I know if Scorp would have let him in on the secret…well, this would have been a pretty interesting chapter.

Overall though, I feel you did quite well with this chapter! Every time something happens, it’s always one thing followed by a ton of things. I love it, as it makes the story hard to predict, and it really pulls me in. So really, excellent job with this! I am going to share one of my favourite lines from this chapter, just cause I love Scorpius a little bit…

I think it may have been the first time in his life where he realized what Rose actually meant to me and how far I was willing to go to protect her.

Lovely chapter!
-Mikeala

(Also putting this in for BvB review fest! :D )

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Review #14, by Tonks1247Actions Speak Louder than Words: Bound by Love: Rose and Scorpius POV

13th August 2015:
Heya!

I think tonight may be the night I can get through my remaining reviews to be all caught up with this story…or at least that’s going to be my attempt tonight. We’ll see how it goes. And these reviews will be included in the BvB review fest as well!

I will not comment about how much I love Scorpius. I won’t talk about the way I can’t help but smile when he calls Rose ‘Ro’, or how he wakes her up early, gently and is just so incredibly sweet, or about how he has this big thing planned and how he takes her to the Cannon’s pitch and then uses the ring as a decoy snitch and how he worries about Rose when she gets ill right after his proposal and how he panics that it’s the worst as he only wants the best for her. I won’t say it, but like, I kinda absolutely love Scorpius and I really do adore him. As long as I’m not talking about him.

Also. It was just before this chapter I figured out what was going on with Rose when I read things through the first time. I just sorta knew what was going on (Nursing school always helps) cause I noticed the patterns in what was going on with her but then when I read this chapter there was a whole new level of freak out. Because there’s a freaking prophecy that’s about a child of hers and no one has sat down and thought about it long enough to realize that Scorpius fits just as well as Stannous and just, like…crap. Things are getting real and then you end this chapter and just kinda leave that piece of information out there and I really just want to keep reading. Because Rose is usually more accepting of things than Scorpius and I know Scorp is going to throw this whole fit about this news and stop talking to Rose and I’m going to be highly upset at his stupidity. Only worse yet that he’s the greatest thing ever. xD

Anyways. There was one thing with this chapter that Imma be nitpicky about:

“Scorpius had to hold me up – the apparating made me dizzy, as usual and I lost my footing, as usual.” Should be a comma between the ‘usual’ and the ‘and’

This was a really lovely chapter and I’m happy to have time to move on to more! :D

-Mikaela

Author's Response: Okay, time to reveal my deepest and darkest. I'm sorta in love with Scorpius too - haha. At some point in the story I was just like - forget this - I'm going to write about the guy I've always *thought* he should be to deserve Rose. And yeah, I love that he calls her "Ro" too. It's different than what her family calls her, but still special and unique to the two of them.

Haha - I tried to be more subtle with my patterns, but I was having a difficult time striking the balance between adding in a few clues here and there and making sure they weren't leading the reader totally astray. I don't think I could've hoped to fool a nursing student - haha!

Yes, Rose is much more willing to accept what's handed to her than Scorpius (*does happy dance that Mikaela knows my characters so well*), and that will definitely play out, but at the same time - this is what Scorpius has always dreamed about. He's a lot like Harry in that respect - and this is his dream, even if it comes along in a package that he didn't envision.

I'll fix that comma right now!

Thanks!

♥ Beth


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Review #15, by Tonks1247Actions Speak Louder than Words: Bone Tired: Scorpius POV

13th August 2015:
Hiya Beth!

I made the decision to forgo sleeping and get at least one more review written. That and I really like this chapter and when I realized this was the next one to review, I couldn’t help it and decided to go for it! This’ll go in for BvB as well!

This chapter was another kind of slow down chapter. I mean, it’s back to Scorpius’ POV and I love all the things he notices. He’s so different from Rose and I really like the difference in their perspectives and how they see each other and their relationships with others. Like, it’s really lovely how these characters are so distinct but even when the POV switches, it’s still obvious which character is which. It’s really good to see that extend through numerous chapters.

Back to the original thought. While Rose takes the death of Ruth hard, things kind of slowdown in chapter. Everyone is busy with school (how much of a slowdown that is? Well, I’m not on the edge of my seat, which is good…) and just getting through the days. Having Selenia, Albus and Dom come to Scorpius and point out that Rose is acting different is good. It gives a fault to Scorpius, gives him doubts. And, I mean, he’s good at coming up with them himself, but it makes him a much more real character to have all these doubts about missing things. That and the way that they all ask him to talk to her and Albus with his little hypocritical complaints...it was just a good chapter!

Also love the little things—some of which I actually caught the first time around and others that I didn’t get until this last read through. Rose’s….actions, I guess, are a little more put together and first time around, I was catching on that something was a little sideways with her and something wasn’t right. I was actually thinking it had something to do with Stannous and the curse. Not too far off from the lovely prophecy, but you know… Also, Scorpius with his plotting. That was totally lost on me the first time around. I don’t know how I missed it, but I’m definitely appreciating it the second time around.

Overall, this chapter was just as great as the others! I love coming through this story a second time and picking up on things that help with theories about future events. Gives me more questions (oh, the dreaded questions that always crop up while reading this story…) and more theories as to what will happen, which is great! I’m loving it!

Until next time,
-Mikaela

Author's Response: Hey there Mikaela!

I don't know if I can accurately portray how happy I am that you've noticed a difference in the POV of Rose vs. Scorpius. I've worried about that from the start. I definitely *feel* different when I write for each of them, and I also really make an effort to do some sort of reveal in the first sentence or two as to who is the narrator at that time, but it really, really means a lot when a reader lets me know that they can definitely sense a different tone between the two. I feel it, but it's nice to know it's coming through in the writing. :)

About the slowdown - this chapter was definitely an add on to the original story, but I felt I needed a bridge to build up to what was about to happen. There had to be a reason, that Scorpius felt compelled to make his move =)

Gah! Thanks so much! I can't ever tell you how much it means that you let me know what you pick up on the second time through - that's a view that most authors don't get to see very often and I feel really, really blessed that you're letting me in on your thought process - for BOTH the first and second time around.

Thanks again!

♥ Beth


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Review #16, by Tonks1247Actions Speak Louder than Words: Baffled: Scorpius and Rose POV

13th August 2015:
Hiya Beth!

I’m back for another Chapter (which will be included in BvB)! I think this may be my last chapter for the night, though I may go on to one more due to the end of this chapter. Dang cliff hangers….

OH MY GOSH THIS IS WHAT I WAS WAITING FOR AND THIS IS WHY I SEEMED TO HAVE SUCH AN ISSUE WITH RUTH! THIS IS WHAT DID IT!

Okay, so, I kept being suspicious of Ruth. And I wasn’t quite sure how to explain why her character just didn’t sit right with me. I mean, I know it’s good to have a therapist, someone on the outside to talk to, but with Rose’s situation…that’s a problem. For her to have someone that she puts so much of herself in with the PTSD…I mean, Rose may not have said much to Ruth and Ruth may not have said anything in Bulgaria, but for her to be killed with the spell Stannous used on Rose…well, this is why Ruth’s character didn’t sit well with me. Because it was just another outside source where information moved. And it bothered me because there was this nasty feeling that something was going to go wrong and here it is, rounding out with Ruth’s death. This is why I had an issue with Ruth. (I know you didn’t want her to be suspicious, but I didn’t mean it in a bad context as in she was plotting against Rose or anything. I just had this gut feeling something wasn’t going to go well with that whole situation and this would be why. xD)

Okay. Chilling out my explosion there. I really liked how Rose got this opportunity to ask some questions and actually hear the prophecy. I was hoping that the prophecy would be shared directly (Kudos for such a well written one! Those things are hard to write!) because I really wanted to see it and I know Hermione is thinking a little bit past Stannous and Bellatrix. I can’t wait for her to share her train of thought there… But I also love how Harry knows Rose has more questions that she doesn’t want to ask in front of anyone. Like, seriously. The relationships Rose has with people are so nice and just…I really adore her family!

The other thing I wanted to mention, on my second read through, is all the stuff I caught the second time through—again. Rose with her feeling nauseous, and not hungry, and tired and Scorpious being totally fine with leaving Rose with Harry in a hurry…Hah, it’s good knowing things and then coming back to read them. You notice a lot more and put pieces together…

There was one small thing in this chapter:

“I pulled hand out of Dad’s grasp to rub my head.” –I’m thinking this sentence is missing a word and will then make sense in that paragraph, but then again, I was a bit confused with the paragraph anyways. So maybe take a peek at it?

Great job on this chapter! I absolutely adore this story and hope I can get through at least one more chapter before bed tonight….

-Mikaela

Author's Response: Hiya Mikaela,

I see your point about Ruth - and it totally makes sense. I never intended her to be any direct threat to Rose, but you're completely right. She had a LOT of information that would be very valuable to Stannous. I guess time will tell ;)

Gah! Thank you so much for your comment about the prophecy! I was really, really worried that it sounded amateur-ish. I worked on it for quite while and I was finally like "okay - this is as good as it's gonna get." when I posted it.

I've made an effort NOT to have huge dramatic confrontations within the family. I've read (and thoroughly enjoyed) a bunch of stories that use the family for the main source of plot, but I really wanted to write something different - where the next-gen kids had their own "bad guy" to get rid of. It's just the icing on the cake that the original crew is around to help out.

And I can't tell you how much I LOVE that you found additional details when you re-read the story. I've tried so, so hard not to be too obvious or too vague about the little things I put in here and there - and I think that the fact that you knew something was off the first time around, but found everything the second time lets me know that I've hit it just right - Eeep!!

Thanks so very much!

♥ Beth


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Review #17, by Tonks1247Actions Speak Louder than Words: Broomsticks and Breathing: Scorpius and Rose POV

13th August 2015:
Hiya Beth!

I’m back for another Chapter (which will be included in BvB)!

So. I really loved this chapter. And I adore how you slowed everything down after the intense situation in the previous chapters! It was a good and needed break. And it gave a good look at Rose and Selenia’s friendship and at Albus and Scorpius’ friendship. And Albus and Rose’s. Like, seriously. This chapter was a good step back for all of them, giving them time to calm down and be ready to get back together and not be so sideways. It was nice.

I also love how the POV switched back and forth. It did take me a minute to figure out when the switches occurred, but I think it was a good thing to see what was happening to all the characters in the same weekend. And it was transitioned well. I liked the set up and it made it easy to go about writing.

What else do I have about this chapter…I adored Scorp’s slow realization that Rose was Rose. He was totally shocked with her haircut and everything and it was a good reaction. Made me laugh a little that they played the name question game. Seriously, I giggled and it was really bad.

Ron was also super fun in this chapter. I love his inability to sneak around and being spotted by Rose so much. Also love how he tried to tag along with Rose only for Rose to pick to go into a particular store. And then for Selenia and Rose to come out to Ron and Harry. Like, I was laughing so hard. The poor guys…

There were also TONS of little things I noticed reading this through the second time. Like Rose being nauseous at all kinds of weird times, and Scorp wanting Albus to go to Diagon Alley with him and the whole conversation after flying. Like, seriously, how slow can I be? (Then again, first time through I was so distracted by everything else going on, so missing that stuff was bound to happen…).

There was one small thing I noticed:

“…it was perfect to wear during the rainy London spring - and the all as well” –for all I think you meant fall

Past that, this chapter was quite lovely. I apologize that my review is such a mess to admitting it’s good and I quite adored it, but I got all my thoughts out so I can’t complain too much…

And before I go on, I have a favourite discussion and then a line that should be a tagline to this story—no joke.

“We really are pathetic, you know.” // “Don’t you mean whipped?” // “Tomato, tomahto.”

I just couldn’t shake the feeling that something bad was about to happen.


Always something… xD Great chapter!
-Mikaela

Author's Response: Hi Mikaela!

I'm still working through all your amazing reviews! Thanks for all your comments on this chapter.

Yeah, I agree - everyone needed some down time at this point in the story and I had SO MUCH fun writing this one.

I was a little nervous for all the POV switches, but I think it needed to be done to go back and forth between what was happening with both groups.

And a note on Ron: although he comes across as a little clueless here, he's being seen from Rose's POV and that's kind of always how she sees her dad. In reality, he's just DARING anyone to come near his daughter. He's flexing his serious Auror muscles here and doesn't care who knows. Rose just doesn't see it that way :)

Ooo - thanks for noticing that typo - I'll fix it right up.

Wow - you're right - I really do like that tagline for the story. I'm seriously considering changing it.

Thanks again and again and again =)

♥ Beth


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Review #18, by Tonks1247Actions Speak Louder than Words: Baleful: Rose POV

13th August 2015:
Heya Beth!

Another chapter for tonight! For BvB fest as well!

I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS CHAPTER FOR SO MANY REASONS AND NOW I DON’T KNOW WHICH POINTS TO HIT ON FIRST CAUSE I DIDN’T REALIZE ALL THE THINGS I’VE BEEN WAITING TO SAY COME IN DURING THE SAME CHAPTER! WHY IS EVERYTHING ALWAYS LIKE THIS! AHHH!

Okay. I’m okay. Really. I am. Melodramatic means I’m okay. XD

I guess I’ll start with the most irrelevant(ish) commentary: Ron and Hermione are adorable. Like, almost to the point where I can’t handle how adorable they are. That whole moment when Ron realized how hard this prophecy struck her and how he went to her…like, I’m apparently a huge Ron/Hermione shipper because that moment got me so much as Ron wanted nothing more than Hermione to be okay and not freak out. It was super sweet.

Next thing: The prophecy. Like. What? The fact that Rose learns about it and the fact that everyone instantly moves to Stannous and like…what? He’s such a freaking creep and for him to think that he could be the father of this baby in this prophecy? And Scorpius also believing this? Like, I’m sorry, but right hand man of Voldemort puts me to Lucius, although I guess I could see where Bellatrix could come in. But like, c’mon. Scorp knew about this prophecy and suddenly he throws a fit and goes all quiet and needing space right when Rose finds out! So frustrating! (On a side note here, I regularly check for review responses and I just wanted to say adore their relationship! I know I’m super melodramatic, but this on again off again thing is just something that fits with these characters too well! Like, the way you have it written fits so well with Rose and Scorpius’ characters and as much as I go off about how ridiculous they both are (which they really are), I love every moment of it. Despite me being melodramatic. And yeah.)

And yet again another big thing I wanted to discuss: having to use obliviate on Selenia and Jax. I mean, Dom seems to take it pretty well with her I have to go obliviate my boyfriend now comment, but Albus…like him having to use obliviate on Selenia and the fact that he only did it for the mention of the prophecy…I just want to cry. He let her keep the memory to be mad at him and just…Albus is so sweet and remorseful of being rude to her and just…it was a really hard scene to read because Albus’ feelings are so well known and I really, really loved it.

What else was there for commentary…well, Rose having more freedoms is good. I mean, I’m surprised she lasted as long as she did with being locked in the house. I woulda lost it long before her, which is saying something as I spend a lot of time on my own when I am at home (not that I’m home much, admittedly), but she made it quite a while before being done with the whole situation. Hopefully the freedom works for her well and things don’t go crazy again (Yeah, I know the likelihood of that one…).

Overall, this was an intense chapter. I absolutely loved it!
-Mikaela

Author's Response: Haha!

Melodramatic means I'm okay.

This is MY favorite line of YOURS! I'm so excited right now.

I'm also a huge Ron/Hermione shipper! And writing them in this has prompted me to write a back story for the two of them.

Haha - I guess I didn't cleverly hide the fact that Scorpius is likely to be the father in the prophecy as well. I think I've mentioned this before, but this was my first attempt at writing ANYTHING and part of the growing pains with that is that I simply don't know what I'm doing. I stress over little details that I put in, hoping that they aren't too vague or too obvious. I'm also worried about WHEN I reveal something and if it's the right time or not. Oh well, I guess I'll figure it out - but your reviews are super helpful!

Dom is definitely the most practical member of the group. It's even a miracle that she *has* a boyfriend. Albus is all passion and impulse, but he loves Selenia so dearly that he's willing to let her be angry with him for his transgressions because it would be wrong for him to obliviate any more than what was absolutely necessary.

Haha - yeah, I don't think I would've been able to last as long as Rose has with all those restrictions - especially with no end in sight!

Thanks again!

♥ Beth


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Review #19, by Tonks1247Actions Speak Louder than Words: Bedlam: Scorpius and Rose POV

13th August 2015:
Heya Beth!

I have some spare time and so I’m thinking about reviewing a couple more chapters in an attempt to catch myself up to where I’ve read. We’ll see how many I can manage tonight before I need a break. And I’m including this in BvB. So. Here we go! :D

…you know, for having read this chapter already, you’d figure I’d be more prepared for cliff hanger. You’d figure they wouldn’t be so frustrating if I’d already known they were coming and knew what was coming next. Yet I sit here in suspense, waiting to go onto the next chapter. It’s so not cool, but such a cool tool in writing. Like, you really have a knack for cliff hangers. And I’m happy to see them (as much as I hate them.).

Onto the stuff before the cliff hanger-ish ending. I was right and Rose did go to Harry. Which I shockingly knew going through this the first time. Like, I guess I remember a bunch of random and miscellaneous facts about Rose and her mannerisms and stuff because I knew Harry would be her first place to go, and honestly it only made sense that she wouldn’t go out on her own somewhere. She’s not completely ridiculous about that.

But I do like the drama you’ve got going on otherwise. With Selenia on Rose’s side and rejecting Albus. And everyone yelling at one another. It’s a good dynamic and you’ve made me feel overwhelmed and anxious at the situation, which is really good cause I’m sure that’s how I would feel if I were there. It also is no surprise that Harry is the peacemaker of the situation, as he always seems to have to be. I’m looking forward the discussion that’s to come as well…

And I know that was a complete mess of a review. But this was a lovely chapter, albeit short, and I really enjoyed the cliff hanger and all. It was really fantastic. And I hope my next couple reviews aren’t as messy…

Anddd favourite line from Rose this chapter:

At least he’s not stupid.

Great job!
-Mikaela

Author's Response: Mikaela!

I don't know how I'm ever going to thank you for all these awesome reviews. It's not like you simply leave a few lines for each chapter. These are so awesome and in depth and I LOVE it when you tell my your favorite lines - hee hee.

Gah! I feel like you know Rose so, SO well. She isn't crazy and impulsive like some of her family, but in this chapter she was at her wits' end and needed a break from her "imprisonment." I wanted to show that she was growing and was finally able to stand up for herself - a little bit. We see more of this in the next couple of chapters.

As for the cliffhanger. I actually didn't intend to write so many of them into my story. Actually, I wrote the whole story straight through (at least until about the current posted chapter), but I didn't put ANY chapters or divisions into it, except when the POV changed between Rose and Scorpius. When I began posting it, I had the first few chapters broken up, but it wasn't until about Chapter 9 that I had to go through and figure out what constituted a good break for each section. I still don't know if I've got it right, but I went with my gut for the most part.

Haha - this review was entirely lovely, thanks so much for it - and ALL of the reviews you've been giving me.

♥ Beth


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Review #20, by Tonks1247Mistaken for Strangers: The Wotters Receive Some Owls

12th August 2015:
Heya J! My computer actually didn’t take forever to restart, so here I am for another review for what’s posted so far! This’ll be part of BvB review fest as well!

What. Just. Happened.

I am totally mind blown. You’ve painted such a beautiful picture of James in my head and you’ve made him protective of his family and helpful and stuck as prankster next to Fred and made him appear like he doesn’t study but he just got a TON of OWLS and just…I am astonished by his character and how mature he is. Like, honestly, you gave a really good backstory for him and really gave a good view of his character and his development.

Also, you then went ahead and put almost all the Weasley/Potter kids into one scene and it’s not pure chaos (which is probably because Fred isn’t there) and everyone had a distinct voice and just. Wow. This chapter blew all expectations out of the water and I don’t even know how to respond to how complex it is to have all those characters and the fact that you go into each individual’s reactions. Like. Wow. That takes a lot of thought and time to keep them well separated and I can only say how amazing this is. Like, share you secret and keeping that mess straight!

Also: Totally wanna know how Anna changes everything here. I mean, we’ve seen some development and just…I honestly can’t wait to see where you take this and what you do with these characters. They’re so distinct and you could honestly take them anywhere and I want to see what happens next. I totally love the (sort of) change up to this chapter style and am excited for more!

Before I go, I do have two parts that I absolutely adored and I’m just going to quote them, despite the first being long, because they’re just so great!

“Like I said, not bad,” James repeated, breaking the silence.

Pandemonium ensued. Rose and Albus started yelling at once. Lucy remained staring at James in shock. Molly II was laughing hysterically, while Dom was crying from laughter. Louis, Lily, and Hugo were all congratulating James. Roxy high fived James. Nana Molly left the kitchen to send an owl to every member of the family.


A sneaky gnome ran inside, pocketed a fallen spoon, and exited, leaving the room empty and silent, but for the faint echo of many years of Wotter mischief.


Honestly, this was a fantastic chapter and I cannot wait to see what you do next! Can’t wait for the next chapter!
-Mikaela

Author's Response: Ahhh Mikaela this review actually made my day! Seriously, I posted it on the forums on the "Reviews That Made Your Day" thread and everything. Thanks so much for reading through this story and reviewing!

I'm SO glad you like James's backstory and development! I'm especially happy that you used the word "mature" to describe him because that's exactly what I think of him, and he has so much trouble showing other people (cough his family cough) how mature he is. He's kinda like my baby so I'm glad to see that you're still liking him. :)

Ahh I'm so glad you think the Wotters have distinct voices and personalities! This chapter has really pushed me to figure out who I think they all are and I'm glad you think they come off as complex and not just overwhelming! :D Tbh my process is all over the place and I just think a lot about the characters when I can't sleep at night or am taking the train or whatever! Working on the Scorose story has also helped that process along because it's forced me to think through some of the other characters.

ALSO I owe major credit to my beta (Kat) for her help this chapter! She really helped with all of the different characters and sorting it all out. :)

There's going to be lots of Anna next chapter, I promise! :D And I hope the rest of the story can live up to your expectations! It's filled with lots of Wotter drama and intervention, I swear! Not to mention James/Anna fluff. :D

Ahhh once again you've picked out two of my favorite parts of the chapter!! The gnome thing made me unspeakably happy to picture.

Thanks again for this review!! :D I'm working on the next chapter and I'm in the process of going over previous chapters with my beta, so hopefully chapter six will go up in the next few weeks! :)

--J


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Review #21, by Tonks1247Mistaken for Strangers: James Sits Some Exams

12th August 2015:
Heya J! I have returned for another couple reviews that I’ll include in the BvB review fest!

I have decided that I should probably skim back over chapters before continuing in my reading. Because I finally remembered who James’ friends were and that they were introduced previously. So the last chapter wouldn’t need so much the intro to people or their relation to James…I just have to give in to the fact that memory sucks and I need to refresh my memory on them or not wait a day between reading chapters….

Moving on.

I think you’ve done fairly well at describing Lily’s panic attack. I mean, many times a person may not be able to pinpoint a trigger, and in the presented situation, she really doesn’t pinpoint a moment that set her off. It just sort of was there that she was upset about her struggles with transforming a bird into a goblet. I also feel as if everyone calms down from panic attacks in their own way, and James obviously knows Lily and how to calm her down best. So really, I think you did a pretty great job with that entire situation.

Also, Rose and Scorpius’ argument? Honestly not too unexpected. I’m honestly waiting for the random snogging making an appearance, which should totally tell you I read far too much Rose/Scorpius for my own good. But. What I brought that scene up for? What is James playing at? Bringing a Niffler back to Hagrid for Fred? Such a terrible, terrible idea…though the image of the Niffler flying out of James’ bag and going for Scorpius? I’ll let you know when I stop giggling… xD

And the final section…it’s good Anna doesn’t want James to leave and looks disappointed at his departure. I’m actually becoming a bit nervous with the whole situation, as she knows him as Jeremy and now James doesn’t want others to know about their chatting and why is Fred setting up perilous situations? He’s just inviting detentions and trouble with his actions. (And don’t get me wrong! I totally imagine Fred being problematic like this and I quite adore his character, as much as I’d like to smack him round the head at times for his stupidity). But really, I am a bit nervous to see where Anna and James go from here, because he’s being a bit shifty and I’m not sure how it’ll play out…

Also. James not being nervous about exams? Like, seriously. He knows so much and reads through books so quick and just…how’d he manage Gryffindor? Kinda seems like a ‘Claw, but then again…it’s a more hidden trait for him, I think…

I think that’s it for this chapter, other than the fact that I, again, quite enjoyed this chapter! I’m probably going to jump to the next chapter, as soon as my computer restarts itself and stops throwing a fit over this update. So. Until next chapter!

-Mikaela

Author's Response: Thanks so much for another great review Mikaela!!

Haha don't worry about it! I totally do that when I'm ready new chapters of fic. And tbh other people have commented on not remembering James's friends so you're not alone! :) I think his friends will make more of an impression later in the story, because right now they're just kinda around sometimes, you know?

Thanks for your feedback on the panic attacks! That's going to be something I expand on later so I wanted to test the waters a bit here. I'm glad to hear that it seems realistic-- I only have second hand experience with them so I tried to research them and it's hard to know if it rings true. Anyway. Thanks for your feedback! :)

Haha maybe they will start randomly snogging, maybe not! I'm actually in the process of writing a spin-off Scorose story from this so maybe you'll like to learn more about them there. (I'm shameless about self-promotion and I am a-okay with that.) Sometimes James doesn't seem all that smart, does he? :P I am also still giggling over that mental image-- I was cracking myself up when I first started writing it up.

Haha I'm glad you're invested enough to be nervous about them! James's motives will be revealed over time, as will Fred's. And the Jeremy thing...will be resolved. Eventually. I promise. ;) And Anna is really quite trusting about most things-- so I wouldn't worry too much about James being shifty! But Fred really should realize when he's being stupid, which is like all the time, man. Maybe someday...

Haha Mallory also mentioned that he has Claw tendencies! That'll also be explored later on. And you're right-- it's definitely more of a hidden thing for him. Anna is like an in your face kind of Claw, but James is more chill about it.

Thanks so much for reading on in this story and leaving such kind reviews! You're the best! :)

--J


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Review #22, by Tonks1247Mistaken for Strangers: James Attends a Party

12th August 2015:
Heya J! I have returned for another couple reviews that I’ll include in the BvB review fest!

To start, I have to say I adored your review responses! Like, part of the fun of leaving reviews is watching people react and share their favourite parts or their observations. It’s really cool to have that kind of dialogue going back and forth…

That said, again, I loved the set-up of this chapter. I like how it’s in segments that work together with each other to move time forward. I also like how each section has it’s own little problem or situation going on that typically ends with Fred doing something stupid (I say that with all the love in the world…Fred is great!). Fred’s plots or pranks or problems are some of the parts I most look forward to reading in each new section.

On top of that…ANNA NOTICED JEREMY (Still giggling about that, tbh)! And it didn’t take long either! Looking up pretty quickly after he appears is a new development and James actually handled that quite well. I was shocked he was so easy going with the interaction occurring so quick, but it was good to see further developments there.

I also adore their conversations. I don’t think I’ve previously mentioned that their talk of philosophy and literature and just everything is excellent. It really shows how intelligent James is, despite the fact that no one knows he studies or anything else. And the fact that they hold these conversations and then you bring in well-known things (like Shakespeare) and add in a magical component to match the muggle…well, I quite enjoyed it. I may not be a huge Shakespeare fan, but the fact that you’ve made him a wizard…well, it makes him just a wee bit more interesting! xD

Also (despite the fact that I can get reviews long enough…) I’d like to comment a bit on the showing and not telling. You’ve really done quite well with that idea throughout the story. I feel you pick very opportune moments to describe and to get a good feel of characters with information dumping. I think with this chapter though, little bits of information about the people at the party would have been good. I mean, I got a good enough feel of the characters but their relation to James was kind of lost on me. It could be that I waited a day between reading chapters, but a little thing about who everyone might have been good. If it’s not added, it’s really not that big of a deal, but just an observation.

Otherwise…I quite enjoyed this chapter. You gave a couple really interesting situations and Anna is a character I’m learning more about and loving. So. Can’t wait to see what else is in store for these two as that’s as much of a plot as I need (I can see progression, so there is a plot. Hard to put to words exactly what it is, but it’s there and it’s lovely!)

Before I go, I have two lines I laughed at and would like to share:

James exited the kitchen, cursing the day he ever met Fred, before searching out Fred’s dot on the Map, and finding him out on the Quidditch pitch.

Although I’m starting to feel a bit like a knowledge dealer. Like a more legitimate drug dealer, you know?


Very lovely chapter! Onto the next tonight, I think…

-Mikaela

Author's Response: Mikaela!! Thanks so much for another lovely review! :)

I love review/review response interactions as well! :D I try to be pretty prompt about responding because I love reading authors' responses after I review but tbh I'm slow responding to yours because they just make me really happy and I don't want them to go out of my little inbox place. :P

I'm happy you're enjoying the Fred hijinks and that you look forward to him! it's a lot of fun to come up with those parts so I'm happy you're liking them so far.

James is a very go-with-the-flow kind of guy! I doubt there's much Anna could do that would surprise him! And Anna does seem to be reacting more quickly to "Jeremy." Hmm...let's see where that's going! :P (Because it's not like this is a James/OC fic or anything...and it's not like it super obvious! No, not at all...)

I'm so glad you like the conversations! Tbh that was a big inspiration for this story-- I was just like "I wonder what Wizarding philosophy is like" and then everything else came together and here we are now. But I really wanted their discussions to bring out a different side of James, where he can keep up with this genius Ravenclaw girl, which is so different from how his family thinks of him! And I had so much fun with the Shakespeare thing, so I'm glad you found it funny! (And, as you'll know from the next chapter, James shares some of your thoughts about Shakespeare!)

Thank you so much for your feedback! (Although I see that you felt different in later chapters haha.) I'm glad you think I've been doing a good job of this in general, and other people have actually commented on the friends thing so I think I'll look into that when I'm revising this chapter! :)

I'm so glad you're liking Anna! I really like her as well, so it's nice to see that sentiment reflected here. I get what you mean about plot-- I definitely have ideas about how the characters develop over the fic and how their relationship changes, but it's not super super plot-y like some stories! So I'm glad you like what I'm doing with this instead. :)

SO I think we have like the same sense of humor because you always pick out my favorite lines!! The knowledge dealer line had me cracking up to myself. :P

Thanks again for this wonderful review! You're the best!!

--J


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Review #23, by Tonks1247Mistaken for Strangers: James Talks to a Girl

11th August 2015:
Heya!

Decided that another chapter tonight wouldn’t hurt, so I jumped into the second chapter and I’m happy I did. You have such a distinct style of writing with this story and I’m going to try really hard not to talk about the same things chapter to chapter, though the same things I love keep occurring, so we’ll see how this goes, yeah?

Once again, you’ve written in this segmented way. You’ve focused in on moments of James knowing and running into Anna, and James struggling with his family and watching over Fred. These segments flow together in such a unique way and it makes it really fun to read the chapters and it doesn’t make it feel like I’m reading 6000 words in one sitting. Seriously, I actually am super tempted to keep reading tonight because the chapters seem to go by so quick and it’s so interesting to see how you take the characters and the plot! This is definitely a story that’s going on my to-read list and hopefully I’ll be able to stop by for more chapters before the end of the week!

As for characters…that Ravenclaw girl’s name is Anna! It’s actually quite the fitting name and I love how he’s figured it out and how Anna is referring to him as Jeremy and how James feels no need to correct her. It honestly is so great to watch the two of them as they’re both so different and just…Anna takes forever to notice him sitting across from her, but by the end she’s actually putting down her book to speak with him…it’s a nice development in their relationship.

As a slight side note, I also adore how Anna ends up in the kitchen with the Weasley/Potter gang and how she’s oblivious to everything going on. I was laughing a bit at how she’s so into her book and it almost makes me question how long she sat there with the house elves before she realized she left. I also wonder how she ended up there? xD

Also, with James, I love how he feels the need to try to get everything worked out between his cousins/siblings. He’s kind of like the keeper of his family, making sure no one kills another and that no one is insanely upset with another. It’s really cool to see him in that position, no matter how awkwardly he goes about it (I’m not saying meeting James under the Ravenclaw table is weird or anything but…Logan took it fairly well….). It’s quite different from how I usually see his character, but it’s good! So, so good!

I also love the situations Fred gets himself into. I’m always interested, section by section, to see what he’s attempting next and what the fallout of his previous decision was. I really do love those little moments!

There were two small things I noticed in this chapter:

“I wasn’t so sure about Hufflepuff at first, because Dom had loves Slytherin and Vic had loved Ravenclaw and Dad had loved Gryffindor, but now there’s nowhere else I can picture myself.” –this is just a tense thing. ‘had loves’ doesn’t fit fully in one tense, so one of the two words has to switch. I’d probably but loves as loved, but it’s up to you!

“YOU SNOGGED LOGAN CRAWFORD? YOU KNEW HOW I FEEL ABOUT HIM!” –Another tense issue thing. Knew and feel are in two different tenses which makes the sentence read weird, so I’d suggest changing one of the two to the other tense.

Besides those two small things, I absolutely loved this chapter! I cannot wait to have time to come back and read some more! :D

-Mikaela

Author's Response: Ahh Mikaela thank you for continuing on in this story! :D Your reviews are so kind! They make me really happy. Also, never worry about talking about the same things chapter to chapter, because I want to know if things are still working for you!

To be honest, this chapter really needs to be broken up! I'm glad it didn't feel too long to you though! That's great to hear. And I'm excited that you're continuing to enjoy the style of this. I really worry about it getting stale, and it does change styles in chapter 6-ish so hopefully it'll still seem engaging until then! I'm really excited that you want to read on though! And tbh I don't think of this story as having too much of a plot...so don't get your hopes up too much! :P

Anna does seem like a fitting name, doesn't it? I thought of her personality before her name so I'm glad that is reflected. Their relationship is a funny one and it takes a while for him to get through to her! Personally I crack myself up with the Jeremy thing haha...so I'm glad you like it!

Anna has tremendous focus, if nothing else! And her presence in the kitchens will certainly be explained later on! I guess you have to read on to find out! :P (Jk, it's really not that exciting...)

Thanks for your comments about James! :D I love him being the family fixer upper guy. And nonsense! Talking to Logan under the table was the most sensible way to go about it, surely! Don't question James's methods. ;)

Haha Fred certainly is a character! His ability to cause mayhem is wonderful.

Thank you for pointing out those mistakes! I'm going through these chapters with a beta now, and getting this stuff pointed out is really helpful! :)

I hope you enjoy the next chapters if you get a chance to read on! :D Thanks again for your reviews-- they're seriously wonderful!

--J


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Review #24, by Tonks1247Mistaken for Strangers: James Meets A Girl

11th August 2015:
AHAHAHAHAH! Oh my goodness. I am so happy I decided that reading a couple stories tonight was a good idea. Because, again, I’m quite entertained by what you’ve come up with and I’m quite happy I stopped by for a chapter.

I honestly do not even know where to start with this, because there were so many things I loved and so many things I wish to point out and giggle about…honestly, it was brilliant!

Starting with characters, I guess, I love how you described James. I love the attitude he has about him and how he’s so easy going but looking out for the best interest of his family. He visits in with each of his cousins (or siblings) as they need attention and keeps having to stop Fred from his latest and greatest stunt. It really put a different view of his character in my head and I absolutely love it! His character is charming and easy to follow throughout the chapter!

Same goes for all of the family he spoke with. Between Albus, Rose, Lucy and Fred…honestly, they each had such a distinct voice and were such individual characters. I like how they each had their own mannerisms and their own voice. I think many times it becomes difficult to give the Weasley/Potter kids different voices and have them stand out and be so unique, but you’ve done such a great with it. I really liked the feel of all these different characters!

The final character is this Ravenclaw girl who is always reading a book. I love her introduction to James, and how he’s mildly confused as to why she pays him no greater notice or why she’s always got a book in her hand. Her character almost seems kind of mysterious with the way James can notice her but forget when things with Fred or other people are distracting. I also love how one of the many things James notices at the end is even as the pitch is all but exploding, she’s still reading her book. It made me laugh just a little bit that her character is always doing the same thing!

Also, the style this is written, with one section fitting into the next by the order in which James notices this girl, and with Fred’s mayhem causing, is brilliant! I don’t typically get into stories that seem so choppy, but with how you’ve written this chapter, I don’t feel that way. It doesn’t seem choppy and it was really easy to get into, with it being broken down into sections. I honestly cannot wait to see where this goes and how you handle these characters and the plot. I’m so intrigued and I may yet have to do one more chapter before bed here…

Great job!
-Mikaela

(Also putting this in for BvB review fest!)

Author's Response: Mikaela! Thank you so much for another wonderful review. -insert :wub: emoticon here- I'm so glad you liked the beginning of this story! :D

I'm so happy you like my James! I kinda love him tbh. He's definitely a family guy and super into helping everybody else out! I was trying to break down some cliches/stereotypes with him so I'm glad you're liking it! It's wonderful to see that my idea of him is getting communicated. :)

I'm really excited that you think the different Wotters have their own voices-- that's something I've been working on as I developed the story, so it's great to hear that you think they're already their own people this early on. I really hope you continue thinking that they're different (and please point out if there seem to be any inconsistencies or anything! I always welcome concrit!).

The Ravenclaw girl will definitely continue to be something of a mystery! :D She may seem somewhat static but there's a lot going on behind the book. ;)

Seriously, thank you so so much for commenting on the writing! When this plunny popped into my head, it somehow demanded these different sections. So I'm really happy you like the style and that it doesn't seem choppy! That's a big concern of mine. I hope you continue enjoying the style as it develops! :D

Thanks again for this wonderful review! You're the best.

--J


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Review #25, by Tonks1247Keep Calm and Carry On: A Guide to Keeping Calm and Coffee Stains

11th August 2015:
Heya!

So I was lingering around the common room and realized that I haven’t had the opportunity to read any of your writing. I then figured since the BvB review fest was going on and I was in the mood to read, that I’d hop over to your AP to find a story or two to read. And it really was a wise decision on my part because I love what you have started here.

The voice you have given to Lorcan here is amazing. I love how he has a bit of that tell-it-like-it-is attitude but he’s also got this humorous view of the world around him. It really makes his character appealing and I quite easily was able to hear his voice in my head and see his character having a sucky day getting to work and then everything that unfolded thereafter…it was quite easy to get into and I honestly was disappointed to find that a second chapter is not yet posted. I was prepared to read a little bit more and see where you were taking the plot…

Speaking of plot, I’m super excited. I love how you have this situation of Kingsley Shacklebolt announcing his retirement out-of-the-blue, especially as he’s been Minister of Magic for so long and has made such significant improvements to the Wizarding community. And the fact that Lorcan’s boss, Helen Branson, wants to run…well, I can tell just from him and his coworker’s enthusiasm that it’s going to be fun to get a campaign going. Especially when she has the nickname ‘the dragon’ from others in the office. It really makes me curious as to what’s going to happen from here.

What else did I love…each of your main characters already have a distinctive voice and each one of them, I can tell, is going to take the stress of campaigning differently. I’m actually kind of excited to see how some of them take it. You leave so much open and there is so much opportunity, especially as I haven’t really seen many stories focused on politics or campaigning with the ministry.

Also, before I go, two lines that I just loved:

(which is not a briefcase or a man purse, no matter what Lysander may say about it)

That was because the only other speechwriter had moved on and I was the one left standing, but I liked to think there was some talent involved in it.


Great job! Can’t wait to see where you take this!
-Mikaela

Author's Response: Mikaela! Thank you so much for this review! It seriously made my morning when I saw it. :) I'm so glad you liked this first chapter!

Ahh I'm so happy you like Lorcan's voice! It's a different style from how I usually write so I wasn't too sure about it. He's definitely a funny guy and I'm really enjoying writing his POV. It's exciting that it seems like my vision of him is getting conveyed! :D

I actually just posted the next chapter to the queue! So keep an eye out for it/my post in the CR. :)

Haha I'm so glad you like the plot so far! I'm not too sure where it came from, but I have some fun ideas about where we're going! I'm just really enjoying the idea of Shacklebolt as like a Wizarding George Washington. It makes me happy. And then Branson...I actually really love her, and I have tons of ideas about where to take her! So I hope she/the plot can live up to your expectations!

I've got such clear ideas about where the characters are going! I'm excited that the characters already seem distinct-- I wasn't sure if there was too much going on in this chapter! But you'll get more of a picture of it in the coming chapters. And yes, the campaign is going affect everybody differently! I'm really excited about how much potential there is for this story and the premise-- I have a bunch of headcanons that I'm incorporating and I'm also pulling out all the weird stuff I remember from my government class haha.

Hahaha I also love those lines! :D I'm never sure if anybody else finds my humor amusing, so it's really really wonderful to hear that you find it funny as well!

Thanks again for this review!! Seriously, it made me so happy. :D Keep an eye out for chapter two soon-ish!

--J


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