Reading Reviews From Member: Tonks1247
276 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Tonks1247How I Killed my Lover -or - Why You should Never Love a Werewolf: A Draught of Sunshine

29th July 2015:

Imma do this chapter for BvB review battle as well, since I’m here and reading it! :D

I love Remus. Like, cannot put words to how much I love his character and how he sees the world. I mean, it’s a pretty scary world he lives in, determined no one can love him and he can’t love anyone else due to him being a werewolf, but for trying to avoid it, he’s quite the flirt. I absolutely love him and Tonks going back and forth and how it naturally comes. They’re just so perfect for each other and the more they both try to deny it (more so on Remus’ side, I think), the closer together they seem to be brought. It really is a realistic situation, as I’ve been in those moments of flirting and the possibility of being a perfect couple but them never coming and I honestly think you’ve got it well described. It really is amazing how much I can relate to these two…

And, while I say it’s terrible for Remus to feel like he can’t love or be loved, I totally understand it and get where he comes from. It’s so much embedded in his character and how he has lived his life…I do like that he’s starting to rethink it, just a little bit, with the whole Boggart thing. I think it’s something he definitely needs to open his eyes to and I can’t wait to see where you take it and how his character changes.

I also loved Sirius in this, the little moments he had, and how him and Tonks are so alike in their commentary and lewd minds. That part seriously made me laugh out loud. Mostly because I could definitely see Sirius trying to trip Remus up with things like that all the time, especially in situations where it’s not necessarily appropriate…

And…I really loved the clerk and the way he recognized who Tonks was. And Remus’ reaction. And his inability to stop smirking. That part made me laugh as well.

There was one small thing I found:

“Maybe I was incapable… perhaps for the last decade and change I had been hiding behind my condition as an excuse not to extend myself to others in an intimate way.” I think I know what this sentence is saying, but I think it needs to be changed a bit, with a word inserted, or just reworded in a way that makes sense.

I really, really enjoyed this chapter! I cannot wait to see what comes next and where you take these two…

Until next time,

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Review #2, by Tonks1247Epitaph of a Good Man: Bizarre Love Triangle

29th July 2015:

I saw there was another chapter up this morning, and was quite pleased with my timing, having the other two chapters read and reviewed in time for a new set to come out. It’s quite exciting to be able to read a story getting updated as the chapters come out! Also, gonna throw this in for the new BvB review battle, since it fits the requirements and I was gonna read it anyways…

So. With this chapter. I quite enjoyed the Tonks and Moody stuff going on. Their banter back and forth, and the teasing and the hanging out…it’s so natural for the two of them. They really are pretty close, it seems, and they seem to have this understanding of each other that no one else really seems to have. It’s nice to see that, and have it so well explained and portrayed. I’m not quite sure how to take the kissing there at the end though…it definitely felt natural with how it came in, and I’m quite eager to see how that plays out in the next chapter…

And of course, all the Remus and Tonks stuff was great! I loved reading this list making from Tonks’ perspective. I’ve really come to adore stories written in tandem because it’s so fascinating to see how different people see a specific situation. It changes so much based on what a character believes or finds important in a moment, and it is really great with the two stories you have it going with.

I also hate the tension between Remus and Tonks. All this, ‘oh let’s kiss’ and then Remus comes through with his mantra of avoiding love and he hurts Tonks every time and tries to deny she feels anything…it really is a terrible way to love. Especially because it puts doubts in both of their minds about the obvious feelings they have and when the outcome is likely them finally just being together…well, I just wish love wasn’t so difficult. xD

I did find quite a few little things in this chapter…

“Our faces were mere inches apart when Molly came down the stairs in her bathrobe on and let out a gasp of surprise.” –I think on is an extra word in this sentence

“- I chimed in when they mention something to do with the Auror office…” –in this segment, mention should be mentioned, just to fit with tenses.

“I turned around, my flushed at Remus’ words, to see Mom fussing over a salad.” –I think you need another word in this sentence (cheeks flushed).

“Remus had his arm around me as we walked away from the house, and continued to do so when we were out of site from the house.” –Site should be sight

“Kingsley, who was keen on information from the first Order, called over and to him asking see it.” –I know exactly what this sentence is saying, but the wording is a little off at the end. An extra word or two maybe?

Despite those few things, I quite enjoyed this chapter! I am looking forward to seeing the fallout of this Tonks/Moody kiss because it was kind of out of no where but not, and with the stuff going on with Remus and Tonks…well, it should be interesting…


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Review #3, by Tonks1247How I Killed my Lover -or - Why You should Never Love a Werewolf: A Poison Tree

29th July 2015:

Said I’d do both chapters, since it’s so much fun to read a chapter of Epitaph and then come in for this one, so here I am!

For some reason, with this chapter, I got a bit caught up in the story telling. Maybe it’s just because it’s late at night, but this chapter felt a lot more like it was Remus looking back on everything, rather than the events actually happening in real time. I know that’s the entire intention with this story, but I got a bit more caught up in it with this one here. I can’t quite tell if it was good or bad, it was just something I noticed and I’m not quite sure if I have much more to say other than it was more noticeable here and it made it a bit harder to read... (I honestly don’t know if there’s a way to lessen how strong it comes on, or if it’s fine as is and I really should sleep before reading new chapters?)

Nevertheless, I did quite enjoy this chapter. The development in Remus’ character, and his perspective as a werewolf was quite intriguing. I loved the way you described the wolfsbane potion and the effect it had; it didn’t take away the wolf, just made it a bit easier to control and focus on sanity. I could see where things could still get out of hand and I really think it’s more realistic that way. It’s also the first time I’ve really read anything that discussed wolfsbane a bit more than just mentioning it in passing (which you kinda did here, but I think you get the point…).

Also loved Sirius and his sulking around the house. It really does add a certain depth to his character, and his interaction and relationship with Remus. It’s really quite believable and I quite like how you have it presented.

I also adore Remus and Tonks’ conversation at the end there (and Sirius’ commentary when he was present). It was funny, having them plot out this whole fake meeting and relationship thing and with Dumbledore and Molly making commentary on the whole thing…like, they’re building this fake relationship when they actually have a thing going on and just…it led up to that kiss at the end quite well. It was expected and I really wanted to smack Remus because he was quite right that he deserved it. Not maybe how he figured he did, but still…

Past that, I did notice a few small things:

“Even with the wolf surging in my head, I could feel a swell of concern for her safety and well-being overpowering the animal that dominated most my thoughts.” –I would suggest an of after most in this sentence, just for the sake of sentence flow

“I was partly under the blankets with Tonks, so the cold air on my backside was a shock against my skin once time permitted me to be more aware of my surroundings.” –This sentence isn’t structurally wrong or anything, but it’s a bit awkward to read and took me a couple read throughs to get what it was saying. Maybe just a rewording it would help? (Or it could definitely be just me…)

“My eyes followed Sirius out of the room, waiting until he was out of site to return my gaze to our parchment.” –I think you wanted sight rather than site

Besides those few things, I really did enjoy this chapter! I’m happy I was able to come home and have a couple more chapters to read! I love the voice these characters have and cannot wait to see where it goes next!

And my favourite line/part from this chapter…

“I poked my head around the corner slightly worried that part of my home might blow up.”

Really very lovely!

Author's Response: So, I am in the same boat with you about this chapter. I did add dialogue to it this time around (compared to how I originally wrote it) but I'm torn about how much would really pull through in exact phrases as he's a werewolf for much of the chapter. There are a handful of chapters where I write about his time as a werewolf but they don't have the large narrative chunks like this did - I hope that helps with future ones (I'm not sure how to fix this one but I do keep kicking at it).

Ah! I'm very glad you still enjoyed this chapter. I do like some of the more poetic crap he says about transformation but it's a slow read to me. I thought it would make sense for him to have thoughts on the potion and some narrative about how it worked on him (without getting into boring details because... yawn).

eee! I'm glad you like what I'm doing with Sirius and his relationship with Remus. At this point, most of his behaviors are drawn from Harry's observations in OotP (with him being moody towards the end of the summer).

I usually don't like the fake-dating trope (as a reader) but I am glad that it works here. It might be a slight twist on the usual portrayal of that plot device because they do have real feelings for each other. It is almost comical with them planning a fake relationship while kind of falling into something real between them. haha, Remus is quite perceptive when it comes to doing/saying dumb things. I'm afraid to say this is the beginning of a long, difficult road of Remus being a pain in the butt when it comes to his feelings.

I have to say, I love the phrases you pointed out to fix and I did find a better way to express the coldness/blanket thing - just needed to move an idea to earlier and shuffle the sentence. It wasn't very easy to read.

haha, Remus really did have his doubts about her cooking - can't blame him. :P

Thank you so much for staying up late to R&R these two chapters.


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Review #4, by Tonks1247Epitaph of a Good Man: Fast Car

29th July 2015:

So. I figured out a new chapter was up a couple days ago but was stuck in limited wifi land until last night. By the time I did get home and had time to read, I was falling asleep and just decided to turn in early. BUT! I had time today. Which means the first thing I did was forgo my list of things to do and came to read this instead! (Remus’ POV is next! I just feel more put together reading this one first and then the other…)

Moving into this chapter, I quite enjoyed it! I’ve accepted the fact that I have indeed read this story before and I know so because of this chapter. I absolutely loved this chapter the first time I read it and the second time through is just as good! I love how Tonks decides to go to Remus, ignoring the fact that he was going to be a werewolf for most of the night and that Remus likely didn’t want her there. I love how she just sits and talks to him and says she just didn’t want him to be alone when part of it was that she didn’t want to be alone herself. It really is amazing how naturally you were able to depict this scene as well, because it’s difficult to write a scene where one of the characters is a werewolf and cannot really respond to the conversation (not that I’ve ever attempted it because I honestly never really thought about having a scene like this…which is sad because it’s pretty amazing!)

Also, I love Kingsley showing up at Remus’ place to a rather awkward situation. I feel you definitely described Tonks’ perspective and reaction to the situation quite well. I can see her totally trying to pull it off as casual and almost making it that far. I also love how he gets dragged in as her ‘fake boyfriend’ due to her parents questions and how he agrees hesitantly to go with it, and Sirius’ joy. I honest to goodness cannot wait to read Remus’ chapter about this situation because it’s gonna be good…I can just feel it!

There were a couple small things I noticed in this chapter:

“I woke up the next morning and started slightly, forgetting where I was until I saw Remus’ head resting against and smiled.” I think there is part of this sentence missing towards the end there.

“In a moment of domestic clarity, a rare ones at that, I put some oatmeal and brown sugar in two bowls and poured some piping hot water out of my wand.” –ones should be one (Also, I love Remus’ comment about the kitchen having not exploded…made me laugh!)

Other than those two small things, this chapter was quite lovely! I enjoyed it and cannot wait for another! Until then, one of my favourite lines/moments this chapter:

“In what otherwise could have been a romantic moment, my stomach gurgled loudly.”

Hehe, great job!

Author's Response: yo yo yo!

:D I'm always excited when you have time for a review - or TWO! I do think Remus' perspective makes more sense after reading this (which kind of irks me now that I think about it but I always envisioned these being read together or one after the other).

This chapter is quite memorable with everything that happens with Dawlish. Tonks is quite set on seeing him and isn't easily dissuaged. This scene was tedious to write - and I think you saw the downside of doing the parallel to this in HIKML - as it was so one-sided and I didn't want it to be boring.

Kingsley is quite the older brother to Tonks (here and in the future). He shows up at awkward times and says the awkward older brother things to Remus that someone needs to. Sirius is quite giddy with the situation - at least on the surface.

! Thank you so much for pointing those out. I was able to fix them right away as I was already editing something else. :D

haha, Tonks does ruin her own romantic moments at times.

Thank you so much for another wonderful review!

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Review #5, by Tonks1247A white, white world.: A gurgle of clarity.

17th July 2015:
Heya! I’m here from the review battle! I hope you don’t mind, but I totally decided I had to read this story the second I realized it was about Alice after she was tortured because I’ve actually been spending a lot of time thinking about her character and I was eager to see another perspective on what the turnout was for her.

So. This was really, really well written. I like the voice that you used in the story, with it being third person but feeling much more personal than many third person stories tend to be. You really captured the thoughts that surrounded Alice and her experience in a world she didn’t really understand. I loved the repeating of things three times over and how that was significant to Alice with how she processed or remembered things. It really brought to life the fact that she could not function like she once did, and it was kind of heart-breaking but amazing all at the same time.

I think the other major thing I loved about this was Augusta’s reaction to seeing Alice and Frank for the first time and how she took some time to bring Neville in to see his parents for the first time. Like, it’s really rather heart breaking to think about how Augusta went from being a grandma to being primary caregiver to her grandchild and having to see her son and his wife being totally lost and totally different people than she ever knew…it’s really unfair, how life dealt her that cards, but I do feel you illustrated her coping well. I also totally agree with her decision to keep Neville from his parents for a while, giving him time to adjust to not having them around and preparing him just a little bit for his parents not to recognize him like he’s used to. Like, the whole thought of how baby Neville, hardly a year old, would have to adjust to not having his mum or dad around when his whole life revolves around them, and then to be reintroduced to them only to find they don’t know him at all, despite him knowing them…really a bittersweet thing…

Despite that fact (and my ability to go off on tangents), I think you really bring to light a happy moment here, with Christmas. It’s bittersweet, as it’s good that Neville’s reunited with his parents and it’s good that Alice feels a little better, a little safe and more at ease with Augusta and Frank and Neville there. Like, it’s really hard but really sweet all at the same time. And I feel you capture the moment very well and I’m really impressed with what you have done with her character.

Anddd I will share my favourite quote:

“Maybe that was what Christmas was. Being together so everything could be okay again. If it was like that, she liked the idea of it a lot.”

Really, really lovely!

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Review #6, by Tonks1247How I Killed my Lover -or - Why You should Never Love a Werewolf: Sorrows of the Moon

17th July 2015:

Okay. I’m really thinking Remus’ POV wins. Like, I love everything going on in Tonks’ mind and how she sees thing, but Remus…oh Remus. He’s just…he’s got such the interesting character build, where he wants to deny his feelings but he really can’t and I’m pretty sure he’s more into Tonks than he’s willing to admit, and maybe even more than Tonks is into him at the moment and just…it’s pretty great.

Especially when, you know, you bring Sirius into the whole situation. Sirius just seems to be around at the worst of times (at least for Remus sake), and he keeps suggested things that don’t help Remus at all. I mean, the whole shower issue that Sirius can’t help but poke fun at a little bit which is enough to totally throw Remus off when Tonks asks about how hard life is as a werewolf. Like, I honestly cannot help but giggle and smile like an idiot at how those two act. I also kind of like the Sirius/Remus stuff that’s going on here. Which is weird, because it’s not typically something I like or read or anything, but the way it’s included in this and how it’s a part of their history…it’s nice. I like the dynamic it adds to the two of them and just…I don’t know. It’s just really really good.

As for Remus and this whole work thing…I’m suddenly nervous about the whole Dawlish thing with Tonks and Tonks talking about a ‘boyfriend’ and having werewolf books…like it really doesn’t seem like a good situation to me. [Yes, I’m going to comment on both stories here and try not be confusing about it ;) ] I just see bad things coming of it…and, you know, I’m pretty sure Remus finding out about the situation (whatever it turns out to be, which I don’t know because of cliff hangers xD) isn’t going to go well. I just…I don’t know…The complexity of Tonks/Remus (at least the complexity Remus adds to is) is coming to show and I’m quite eager to see where you take it!

I did catch two small thing

“Why are you at home in bed then?” –I think this the ‘are’ is intended to be ‘aren’t’

“I couldn’t help but smirk, thinking walked like a bludger during a quidditch game.” –This sentence is missing a word or two. I know what you’re saying, but it needs a little something to say what you want it too!

Otherwise, the chapter read great! I quite enjoyed it! I am going to share one line, and it isn’t necessary a favourite line, but just…I like how the thought from Remus is structured and the dynamic it gives to Remus and Sirius:

“As much as he’d push my buttons when we were alone or in a small group, he was mature enough to not do so in public.”


Author's Response: Small confession - Remus is my favorite character to write. I figured him out while writing from Tonks' POV but love him a bit more than I love her. He's definitely more into Tonks than he's letting himself see - it's such a difficulty position to be in for him.

Sirius accentuates areas of awkwardness and catches that Remus is attracted to Tonks. :D I'm glad you liked the shower issue and how that came into play later on. :D I wrote that with the 12 year old boy part of my brain but it still makes me laugh. the Sirius/Remus stuff doesn't play a huge role in this but I had to include it a bit because I do ship them (just not past the first wizarding war).

Remus, Tonks, and the Ministry will turn dramatic at some point - you'll just have to wait for it. :D :P

I am so excited each time I read your review- thank you a million!!


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Review #7, by Tonks1247How I Killed my Lover -or - Why You should Never Love a Werewolf: Lines Depicting Simple Happiness

17th July 2015:

So, I’m finally working through my reading list and I’ve made it down to more Remus/Tonks stories! YAY! (I may have adjusted it just a bit with Epitaph and this both having ‘new’ chapters posted, but you’d never get me to admit it!)

OH MY GOSH! I was pretty determined Tonks’ POV of things was going to be my favourite and be the one to make me giggle the most but I stand corrected. Remus’ point of view on events is the greatest thing ever. I could not stop laughing and he has much more lively discussions with Sirius and his thought patterns…like, honestly, this is the greatest thing! I’m so excited to have this story and to know it exists and to have an opportunity to read it…

Starting with Remus here, part of me feels super bad for him. His viewpoint on his whole life and what it means to be a werewolf is so convoluted. I naturally blame society and their need to out someone who is a werewolf, because he is honestly such a great man. He’s so much more than just a werewolf and it kind of breaks my heart that he doesn’t know any better. It’s just not fair.

With that said, he spends a lot of time in denial but his interactions with Tonks are just so perfect. I like how he’s intrigued with her and how there is an attraction that he’s just denying. They flirt and go back and forth, and he gets teased and prodded at by Sirius…it really helps take the years off of him and it makes him seem just as human as everyone else with the same thoughts and feelings, despite the twisted interpretation of being a werewolf.

As for Sirius? Well, him and Remus are still those boys running around Hogwarts. Honestly, you can tell their friendship really hasn’t changed all that much and Sirius is just as obnoxious as he was back in school. It’s a lot of those parts that had me laughing and rolling my eyes because honestly? I think you have him pegged so well and so accurate as to what he acted like after Azkaban. I almost feel like it’s a special thing that never really was seen in the HP books but gets seen in this. Remus is much the same way as well!

Uhm…I think I’m going to go on and point out some of the little things I noticed while reading and then go on to favourite parts and more melodramatic descriptions as to why I absolutely love this story…

“Despite being a very romantically minded person but it didn’t seem practical for a werewolf to bother with love.” I think I know what you’re trying to say here, but it definitely isn’t clear within the text. I think it’s the ‘but’ that throws everything off.

“Sifting through my memories of her has made it painfully clear that, although I did not raise a hand her, my wolfishness killed her.” –In this sentence, at the end there, I think you’re missing a word. I think it’s intended ‘I did not raise a hand towards her’ or something of the sort.

“It took him the better part of 20 years but he learned how to read me but he had it down to an art.” –Instead of the second ‘but’ in this sentence, I would suggest maybe using an ‘and’ because it would make more sense.

“I felt slightly responsible for the mess as gaze focused on Tonks while she poured the drinks.” –Again, I think there’s just a couple of words missing here. Maybe ‘as my gaze was focused on Tonks’ or something of the sort?

“Much to my surprise, was chatting with her.” –Again, missing word. Should note that it is Moody chatting with her.

That’s all I have for those little things. Even despite them, I really, really, really enjoyed this chapter! I love Remus and Sirius and Tonks and the fact that they’re all in this story and Epitaph and that they’re just so funny…it’s really great!

And, I’ll stop rambling now and end with my 2 favourite lines! :D

“However, I’m not most men and my sweeping skills were quite rusty.”

“You make it sound like we stopped breaking rules at some point.”

Great job!

Author's Response: Heyyy!!

I can't tell you how much reading your reviews makes me grin and super happy to have someone excited about this story. *hug*

when I finished Epitaph in 2007 I doubted whether Remus' side of the story would be at all interesting either but his did turn out to be my favorite too. I do give new angles to the same stuff (or include conversations not int he other story) just to make it interesting to read through both. this story does have more of Remus and Sirius' relationship in it (as it's more important to remus).

Remus has gone through a tough life and has let society define who he is. I feel as if, in another era he could have been less limited by being a werewolf.

Sirius and Remus do still have much of the same friendship they had in Hogwarts. I think it's hte last time they can revert to beore they got complicated.

I've gone back and edited the things you pointed out - you are such a helpful reviewer!!! :D :D

Thank you so much for a wonderful review!


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Review #8, by Tonks1247Epitaph of a Good Man: Unbelievable

16th July 2015:

You know, I’m really beginning to feel bad for the readers who used to have to deal with the cliff hangers I wrote in my stories. Like, I haven’t written any recently, but like…reading this with the ending like it is…I’m kinda anxious for what’s going to happen and the fact that I have to wait to find out is kind of killing me. This is really cruel to inflict upon people (but no worries, I also totally love it because it makes me think about what could happen and makes me excited for a new chapter and I am honestly really melodramatic in reviews…).

So. I’m going to start with this whole Dawlish thing because that’s where the cliff hanger comes into play and he was just being a right old creep. I’m not quite sure if I believe he’s doing it on his own. I think he may have a little encouragement from Scrimgeour, as Scrimgeour is the one who seems concerned about where she’s spending her time and what she’s doing. I feel like if Scrimgeour were to ask Dawlish, it kinda makes sense as to why he’s creeping around her house. Which, like, unnerves me that he just so kindly invited himself in. I hope Tonks gets some good curse or something in at him because he’s just…he’s being a creep and it’s not cool!

Her little side thoughts going between Remus and Moody have me interested. I mean, I can see where she kinda gets on with Moody, but at the same time…I don’t know. It just seems a bit weird. I can’t quite explain why in any way that makes sense out loud…though I do like their back and forth banter. Totally cracked up with the whole seeing through clothes and outgrowing the bra colour think. It was pretty entertaining…

And as for Remus? I was giggling just a little bit with where he came in. He’s so awkward with Tonks, which is just…it’s so fitting for his character. He’s awkward and isn’t used to having this big social thing going on in his life due to being a werewolf and the stigma that’s put on him but he still subjects himself to these sorts of situations…like, him laying down with Tonks had me giggling so much because he’s so awkward about it and then when she wakes up she teases a little with the four times the rest and then suddenly the conversation is serious and Remus really cares about what happened and just…it was really really nice. Remus’ character has such a great counteracting dynamic that’s so well balanced…I quite adore it!

OH! ALSO! FRECKLES! That was such an adorable little scene! Like, I’m pretty sure that entire little scene there was my favourite because Remus was so open about something like that and then Tonks talks about Elvis and then it’s back to business and it just…it was a lovely little scene amongst all the stuff going on and it was quite lovely!

Another great chapter! :D

Author's Response: Mikaela!!

I'm so sorry to have left you with a giant cliffhanger - there are a few of them in this story. Only a few are kind of intense. I love melodramtic reiews. :D

There's a lot to Dawlish's behavior and it unfolds through the story. I won't say more here though! Scrimgeour is quite overbearing in his attempt to find and weed out any Dumbledore supporters. Though, now that I've seen a bit of him in DH (I wrote his before that came out) I feel he might have been less dogmatic. But, yes, this is the first episode of Dawlish is the creep no one wants to work with.

I've always seen Tonks and Moody as two kindred spirts - they're both so very themselves and offbeat. Moody does show a bit of his less serious side around her, which is nice. I like to think it's why she was so upset at his death.

Remus is always awkward - and I love him for it. I've always thought that Remus both thirsts for friendship and companionship while shunning the idea of him being a good persont o share those things with. he's very conflicted but does induldge himself in moments like sharing a bed wtih Tonks. I couldn't see Remus not inquiring about someone's behavior like that, just part of his own natural curiosity.

I'm so glad you liked Freckles!! I'm so fond of that fictional stuffed animal o.O

Thank you so much for a fantastic review!!


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Review #9, by Tonks1247Stand Tall: Don't Wish, Don't Start

13th July 2015:
WHAT IS THIS!? Okay, so, James having everything under control better not have been him putting her name in rather than his. Like, seriously. I know he would figure the chance of her being picked is low, as pretty much everyone including Alba thought, but it would be impossible for her to be picked if her name wasn’t put in. So he better not have done. Though that then leads to a question of who did. Which gives me Chandra, but I wouldn’t really peg her as the type…and Ben is missing in this whole situation…who did it?

Now that I’m spiralling through the who did it question, now it’s why and what does she have to face? It just…like…what? I cannot wait to see where you take this Triwizard tournament and where it takes Alba. Like, I’m sure she’s plenty capable but depending on the tasks at hand….well, I’m interested to see what’s going on. It’s really stuck in my head and bothering me…

Trying to move on to before that point…Ben is an interesting character. I kind of adore him but question what he’s trying to get at. One minute he’s kinda acting fine with Alba, the next he’s kinda Jealous of James spending time with her and trying to make deals to get the same treatment, only to throw the whole thing off again. And he’s missing from the table at the end and just…I really need to read more to find out what’s going to happen!

Favourite quotes of this chapter:

“Do not take entering your name into the Goblet of Fire lightly. There will be no withdrawing, and the road ahead of you will be incredibly perilous.”

“So, when I want to help you, you can hold my hand... like James.”

“I pick you up when I want to hold you.”

This really was a lovely chapter! I’m going to aim for maybe one more before the end of the night, but I’m losing steam on reading so we’ll see where I end up. I’ll (hopefully) be back tomorrow or the next day if not later tonight with another couple reviews!


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Review #10, by Tonks1247Stand Tall: Sudden Heat

13th July 2015:

So, uh, I’m gonna start by apologizing for how long it’s taken me to get on to this next chapter. It’s been on my list to read and review and I apparently just haven’t been making much progress on any of the stories on my list…BUT! I am here now, and am hoping to either get through most of the posted chapters, or all of them, in the next couple of, here we go!

Once again, this was a lovely chapter. You offered up some plot points, advancing things with the arrival of more of the schools. You also give some good character backgrounds. Chandra with OCD? That actually kind of makes sense in a way, with her behaviour, but I do worry about how the upkeep with that will work. I mean, it’s good and it makes her character more complex, but just make sure to be watching it and keeping it believable, especially with her being a Quidditch Captain and all. As you have it presented now, I think it’s quite well done, so just keep it up!

I am quite excited to see how things unfold from here. I’m excited to see if James actually does put his name in the cup and who gets picked to compete. The curiosity is killing me because obviously someone has to be picked and it has to be significant to Alba and James, and I wouldn’t think Alba would go in for it, as she’s already denied doing that…

Anyways. Fantastic chapter. I’m going to have to go cook dinner before the next chapter, but rest assured…I will be back. xD

Here are my favourite lines, before I go!

“Apparently the bad taste was genetic.” (And as a side note, Clam is a little better than Oyster, and they’re both terrible if raw. Cooked makes them a little better, but I agree with the assessment…nasty stuff… xD)

“The ship was beautiful, in the way decrepit old houses are.”

Great job!

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Review #11, by Tonks1247Shenanigans and Hi-Jinks: Meeting the Train

13th July 2015:
Heya! Back for another chapter for the BvB review battle!

So. I really, really enjoyed this chapter. Fred’s teasing of Victoire about Teddy made me laugh quite a bit. Especially as he picked out all the things that Teddy was doing that Victoire didn’t see or notice. I like her trying to defend herself and say it totally was not happening. It really makes me want to go read some of the other stuff you have written about them…

As for them sneaking back onto the students to catch the train? I don’t know why they thought they could manage it so easily…I knew they would get caught, but I do like how Roxanne’s character was introduced and how their friends didn’t play up them missing the train until they could talk about it in private. That was really telling of their friendships and told a lot about Roxanne’s character as well.

This was also a really well written chapter. I didn’t see any problems and spent much of my time giggling at what was going on. Cannot wait to see what other trouble these two get into!

And, before I go, favourite lines:

“Kind of a creepy gentleman…”

“We weren’t notified of your absence, and neither, it seems, were your parents.”

Great chapter! Hopefully be back soon! :D

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Review #12, by Tonks1247Epitaph of a Good Man: How Soon is Now?

12th July 2015:

So. Reading the last chapter of this story reminded me how much I adore Remus/Tonks. Which means I’ll probably be back with every new updated chapter post because I can’t help it. Which, you know, really isn’t all that bad of a thing…

I love Tonks’ character in this. She really seems just as natural in this as she is in the books and it’s really great to see that. I love the attitude she presents and how she takes things as they come. I love how she has this relationship with Moody, where it’s teasing and being ridiculous, but it’s not reserved solely for him. There’s also Remus, and pretty much everyone else who she interacts with where she’s teasing and keeping things light. I quite like it because I have always seen her character as this almost constantly happy person.

I also love, love, love her and Remus. I mean, I know it’s obvious I do, as I’m reading this, but I like how they talk and don’t try to skirt around what happened in the last chapter or their feelings (well, not in a deliberate way yet). They don’t have that teenager-y feel to their relationship and it’s really refreshing (I think I read a lot of next gen romance and I should probably stop for a while). I like how they handle things in the best of lights, including Tonks’ denial of feelings. Her dreams at the end indicate otherwise, but I thought they were quite entertaining! :D

I did catch a couple of things that either didn’t make sense or need slight alterations:

“After adding my broom to the others to be used that evening, I brought the case to a closet upstairs where I checked my hair. It looked alright for violet though it wasn’t exactly my color. Molly was going to send them to Privet Drive after we arrived.” –Okay. I think it may be how this paragraph is structured (or maybe how I’m reading it) but it seems to jump around topics and isn’t very cohesive. This paragraph also doesn’t led to the next one very well either. It seems like a sentence or something is missing to help this part flow.

“I couldn’t resist asking who Moody he knew that lost a buttocks and eyed Mad-Eye’s backside out of sheer curiosity.” –I don’t think you need Moody and he in this sentence. Just one or the other.

Besides those two things, I quite enjoyed this chapter! I’m coming to the conclusion I may have read this story once, quite a while ago, but it’s alright because it was quite a while ago and now I can leave reviews as the chapters come out updated! YAY! :D

Anddd my favourite line, cause I can’t help it: “When Sirius passed by me he commented on how I change my hair more often than some people in the room, he looked pointedly at Snape, change their underwear.”

Hehe, excellent chapter! Can’t wait for the next!

Author's Response: Can I go on record saying your reviews on this are the best thing ever? They are.

I don't think there's anything nicer you could say than that I got Tonks like JKR wrote her. I like Tonks' relationship with Moody so it's hard not to talk about it a bit. She's definitely the type of happy person I'd want to hang out with.

Next-gen stories are definitely a bit more rush into love than this is. Remus and Tonks rush into something but it's not love at first. They rushed into flirtation? Awkwardness? Something.

Ahh!! Thanks for pointing those out. Your reviews are so great at giving me quick edits to make. ^_^

hehe, writing Sirius being snarky is part of my favorite bit of this story.

Thank you again for such amazing reviews and feedback!


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Review #13, by Tonks1247The Netted Sunbeam: The Netted Sunbeam

12th July 2015:
Oh. My. Gosh.

I honest to goodness cannot even think of a way to start this review. Everything contained within this story is just so brilliant and beautiful and just…I’m in awe of how carefully constructed this time period is and how natural the characters seem in it and just everything.

Okay. Focusing.

Isolda’s character is honestly amazing. In the beginning, I absolutely adore how she works so hard to get around her mum’s questions. She wants her independence and she doesn’t want to be pushed one way or another by her mum. It’s such a stereotypical feeling for teenagers or those who have just recently moved away from their parents, but it’s in such a different light, given the time period she’s growing up in. Especially in regards to having a boy come hang around her house during the late hours of the night/morning. Like, I don’t know how you’ve managed to characterize her so well and keep her in the right frame of mind for her era, but I just…I love it!

Tristan is just as good. He’s got this showboating personality, one that doesn’t mind being the centre of attention—would rather be in the centre of attention—and when he isn’t, he pushes for it. He’s also rather sweet and knows just which lines to cross or boundaries to push. He’s also just a little bit sassy and not afraid to state what he wants. He’s obviously very easy to read as well, but I think it just brings the charm to his character. Also love how he’s so polite. It’s just flattering for him to be so proper when talking to Isolda’s mother as it does reflect well on him.

I won’t go super into the Tristan/Isolda pairing, because I have a feeling if I do I’ll run out of characters to use for the rest of my review because I adore them so much. I love how their relationship works within the time period they’re in and how it stays consistent to that while also pushing lines. The two of them are very sweet together and the fact that one thing led to another and they’re just hanging out having tea one day and suddenly sitting on the carpeted floor the next…I just really do love them.

Isolda’s mother is also a character I quite enjoy. I love how in control of herself and her emotions she is (except upon finding her daughter with a boy in her house, especially a boy who she claims to dislike), and I like how that comes across to Isolda. I love the dynamic and differences between the two of them. I also love her mother’s astonishment about Isolda being the one resistant to open courting. It just makes me giggle a bit, how that part played out.

This whole story flowed together pretty well. There were a couple of places in which I got lost in the changing of time or location, like Isolda moving from being with her mother to being with Tristan in her house and back with her mother again. It could honestly be the hour in the morning I’m reading this (I am currently nocturnal. Which is cool. Not really.) but it could also be just because I’m so caught up in all the little complex details that are included. There is so much to pay attention to and I really, really love it.

This was really, really lovely and you can definitely expect a review on the other Tristan/Isolda story sometime in the near future…


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Review #14, by Tonks1247Actions Speak Louder than Words: Boredom: Rose and Scorpius POV

11th July 2015:
Alright…alright. I’m not going to freak out and be overdramatic about this chapter…I’ve got this…

So. Rose going crazy with being locked up. I honest to goodness cannot blame her. I cannot handle being stuck somewhere I can’t leave. It’s like when they request I work a double at work after half the first shift has been crazier than all crazy…Like, how can they expect her to be locked in the house, unable to leave, for an undetermined amount of time? It’s really just cruel! And I love this line:

“I can’t take it anymore – I’m locked in my own private Azkaban day after day!”

Rose may be a bit overdramatic here, but honestly? It’s not so much different for her, with being locked away like she is (Although Selenia’s following comment is accurate and had me giggling insanely over here…). It’s just not so good.

And you know…Ruth super bothers me. Her being in Bulgaria doesn’t give me the best of feelings wither and just…I’ve said it in reviews before, and I still don’t know what it is, but she’s really, really bothering me.

That and this line: “Samara…You stay here, in case she comes back. Anyone finds her, send a patronus to the rest of us.”

I have no words to honestly describe why exactly Ruth and Samara’s characters put me off. Ruth just seems…off. I’m not sure I have a good enough explanation for her. She just knows a lot of personal stuff about Rose and I just…it makes me uncomfortable. As for Samara? I just don’t have enough information on her. The unknown unnerves me quite a bit…

Jumping back a little, Rose just leaving the house was a sure fire way to get everyone to see how bad it is to have her locked up. I feel terrible that what Selenia said came across to Rose the way it did. I get that she was defending her but just…it’s tragic that it was taken that way. It’s really not fair.

As to where Rose is? My guess, if anything, is Harry. At least there before home. Although Hermione knows things? But in distress…yeah, I’m sticking with Harry…

Great chapter! :D

Author's Response: Hi there Mikaela!

Okay - I'm SO sorry for being a total jerk and taking so long to respond to you reviews that are TOTALLY AWESOME and completely make my day! I check my iPad the first thing when I wake up in the morning and when I see a review from you I know it's going to be a good day :)

I'm so glad you see Rose's POV. Harry and her parents just want her to be safe - but there's a limit to what a person can take. And even so, she's *just* sort of finding herself again so she needs a bit of freedom to experience life as a proper adult.

I'm afraid I may have missed the mark with my characterization of Ruth. I'll admit, I don't know too much about therapists or the proper treatment for traumatized victims, but I wanted someone that Rose could talk to that wasn't a family member. I also wanted to send a message that therapy is not shameful. I feel bad that she's a suspect for you...

Your instincts on Rose are... very, very good. You know her well.

♥ Beth

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Review #15, by Tonks1247Actions Speak Louder than Words: Bombs and Bonds: Scorpius and Rose POV

11th July 2015:

I don’t even know why I was all over the place reading this chapter. Maybe it’s because Rose just came out and was super honest with Scorpius, and now Scorpius has information he can’t share with Rose, or maybe it’s because Hermione came out and talked about her post-war experience with Rose with a new understanding with her Daughter’s torture now known by her, or maybe it’s because I now see Ron acting a certain way towards Hermione, much the same way Scorpius reacts to Rose…It’s really getting to me in this chapter!

And it is a lovely chapter! Don’t let my flare for the overdramatic (which is weird, because I’m definitely not over dramatic like this in RL…) put off that idea. This plot is ingenious and I love how I can’t really expect something specific to happen because things change so easily and it’s just…it’s really great and I love it!

Anywaysss…I’m anxious to see what additional information comes out about Stannous. That man leaves me with so many questions, about how he can just disappear and reappear wherever Rose is and how he can keep tabs on her and how he knows where she is and who his eyes and ears are…like, the questions are constantly there and I’m just barely able to contain them and not ask them every chapter. ;)

As for Rose and Hermione talking…well, that is one of my favourite scenes so far. “All of a sudden, I felt like I was seven years old again and I laid my head down on her shoulder.” Like, this line here is just so lovely. The fact that Rose feels like she’s a little girl with her mother, seeking comfort only a mother can give…only an understanding a mother can give…it is super sweet and I just adore them and the conversation they have, despite how tough it is.

Following in with that scene, a couple of my favourite lines came up (I could not narrow them down and I’m not sure I even tried…):

“Actually avoiding this moment was the purpose of my entire existence for over two years until…”

“The end is not the end. No words were truer than those.”

“It was a rare moment to witness this tenderness between them.”

You’ve got me so attached to these characters and this story…it’s probably a bit dangerous but I absolutely adore it and look forward to going on to more chapter. Great job dear!


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Review #16, by Tonks1247Actions Speak Louder than Words: Beautiful: Scorpius POV

11th July 2015:
AHHH! Oh my gosh, I forgot about this chapter!

This was such a sweet, sweet moment for the two of them. It was something they both needed, to just both be there and together for a while and to figure out, without words, that they were okay. The fact that an apology didn’t need to be given, that they both understood each other and the emotions that came through…I mean, they should have talked a little bit to clear up the air, but that’s just the logical part of my mind talking. The emotional part of me is in love with this chapter and how it was so sweet and so simple. It was such a great moment for these two, and a needed one for them to be able to move forward with less secrets than before.

And I could go on, repeating how lovely this chapter was, and how well written it was, and how much I love Rose and Scorpius and how much they are such a good fit for each other, but I would honestly just be saying the same thing in a million ways.

Lovely, lovely chapter!

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Review #17, by Tonks1247Actions Speak Louder than Words: Beloved: Scorpius POV

11th July 2015:
HEYA! I’ve returned for a couple more chapters! I’m trying to get through all the currently posted chapters before a new one comes out, but I’m not quite sure if I’ll manage (Though I’ve done a lot better than expected so far…)

So. Again, I love Scorpius’ POV. I’ll try to make it the last time I mention that fact but he is just…his mind is so interesting and I love how he reacts to things. It’s not always what I expect, until I look back on it afterwards. It’s nice, to have his character still be able to surprise me…makes me love him a little bit more.

You gave a lot, without a lot in this chapter. Scorp and Rose saying I love you to each other was really, really sweet. I sort of wish Rose would have had better timing with telling Scorpius about her mum and stuff. Especially because I don’t feel she had enough information to tell him yet, as it seems like he has always struggled with being a Malfoy, especially with Ron making it a big deal, and for her to say it occurred at Malfoy Manner but not name names? It sucks, but at the same time, I can see where Rose is coming from to tell him…

As for running into Ron? Haha, kinda to be expected! It took a while (like, honestly as I was writing this) for me to realize where the Ron section from the last chapter fit in. I’m going to blame it on the fact that I need to sleep, but I was honestly slow on that fact…But. I do like how that sort of brought Ron and Scorpius together, so at least they have an understanding of each other. Also brought on my favourite line:

“Nice place, isn’t this? Harry told me about it. Apparently, Albus brought him here a few months ago, to blow off steam…”

I giggled quite a bit at that….

ALSO: I don’t know why (though I have this sneaking suspicion) that something is up with Samara…I’m definitely not ready to share the idea yet, as I’d like to see a little bit more of her before I let myself go for the idea, but this doesn’t help my case: “I could see why James was attracted to her, but I always felt a little bit like she wasn’t his type – I just couldn’t put my finger on it.”

With that, I think that’s all I have to say on this chapter…it was quite fantastic and I’m looking forward to the next! :D

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Review #18, by Tonks1247Epitaph of a Good Man: Dancing with Myself

10th July 2015:
Heya! Back from the review battle (As I should probably really be sleeping just about now…)

AHAHAHAHAHAH! This is precisely why I adore Tonks’ character and why her and Remus make me giggle like no tomorrow. Tonks just randomly decides to kiss Remus, which I’m sure has him a bit shell shocked (If I’m honest), and then disapparates away (I won’t talk about how loud I laughed about her missing her target…). It’s so casual and the light teasing that goes on between the two of them when they are together…it’s just so great because their relationship isn’t something easily definable because they don’t follow any sort of rhyme or reason. It just sort of happens in this mess of falling together and I just really appreciate how you’ve illustrated it here.

(As a bit of a side note, I get this sneaking suspicion I may have read this story some time ago because there are certain moments I seem to remember reading, but then again, it had to have been 3+ years ago so how much do I really remember? Either way, whether I have read it or not, I absolutely love it!)

Anyways…I love how Tonks is invited to dine with the Weasley’s and everyone else at Grimmuald place while at the same time having to pretend she has nothing to do with them at work. It’s not an easy part to play, but she does it well and it is amusing. I also must say, she’s pretty good with the whole ‘Best Kept Lawns Society’ thing. I was giggling a bit at the whole situation playing in my head, with Tonks talking to Vernon and him having no idea who he was talking to or the fact that the society is just a made up thing to lure him out of the house…really, really fantastic!

And as I close out here, I have two favourite quotes (Grammar and all that other stuff was great in this chapter! Didn’t notice anything):

“If you like it so much, I’m sure Sirius will let you have it.”

“Fred congratulated me on making a bigger mess than Ron, who spilled a container of noodles everywhere. George whispered something to Ginny that sounded like ‘domestically challenged’.”

Great chapter! Can’t wait to see more!

Author's Response: Mikaela!!

I'M SO GLAD YOU LIKED THEIR RANDOM/AWKWARD KISS!! Tonks is just impetuous enough to do something like that but with just enough self-consciousness to walk away feeling all "what did I do." I'm also glad you secretly laughed at her apparation mistake. :D especially because I always wonder if I'm the only one to laugh at that kind of stuff. I didn't think Tonks was the type to come on really strong but would definitely keep an on-going flirtation with people she likes.

I came back to the site 3+ years ago and was pimping out this story - so you might have come across it then!

ha, the nice reversal of her real relationship with the Weasleys is kind of funny. I have hard time seeing her as someone who would buy into somethng like that (ignoring people she knows) if not for the fact it was entertaining to do.

Your favorite lines were also a few of the ones that made me laugh while writing this! ^_^

I can't thank you enough for such a lovely review!


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Review #19, by Tonks1247Epitaph of a Good Man: The Crossroads

10th July 2015:
Heya. I’m swinging by from the BvB review battle!

I absolutely adore Remus/Tonks. I haven’t written a lot of them, but I will admit there was a point in time where that’s all I would read when I was online! I had just a little bit of an obsession, which makes it even better that I’m here to read because I honest to goodness missed the two of them.

So. I really, really love what you have going on here. I love how it’s not one of those ‘oh the instant we saw each other we were in love.’ I’m not quite sure why, but I never saw the pair of them like that in my head. It just wasn’t realistic to me for them to be like that. So. The fact that they meet during the first Order of the Phoenix meeting and it isn’t a big deal is awesome. It gives time for their characters to talk and build this relationship and give a good explanation about how things moved from not knowing each other to being in a relationship, getting married, having a child…you know, everything that stems from that turning point. I’m quite anxious to see how it builds up.

I also love how Tonks doesn’t know Sirius that well and finds the Order a group of interesting characters (I quite agree with her assessment there XD). She is the youngest one from outside of the families already involved to join. She also does have a lot of catching up to do, as she doesn’t have quite the background as to what’s been going on as the others. She has a lot more of the ministry influence in her life, so to see how she could bring that in…it should be interesting!

I did note one thing at one point:

“Molly and Arthur Weasley greeted me kindly as I had I met previously and their son Bill hugged me as I walked towards my seat.” –I think there is an extra ‘I’ in this sentence

Besides that one thing, this was quite lovely! Cannot wait to come back for the second chapter. This definitely reminded me how much I adore Remus/Tonks and I just need a bit more, if I’m perfectly honest…

And, closing out here, my favourite part:

“Sirius came bolting out of the kitchen, looked around, and shot Remus a quizzical look. Remus let go of me as if he were embarrassed to be holding a woman.”

I feel bad for Remus but at the same point…I definitely giggled…

Great chapter!

Author's Response: Mikaela!!!

I'm always really excited when I find another Remus/Tonks fan. At one point they were all I would write and it feels nice to be rewriting them.

Eek! I can't tell you how much your review makes me smile! I didn't think it would be realistic for Tonks to go head over heals for someone on first sight. I think the meeting was a big deal but she also met other people that night so it wasn't just about meeting Remus. I really hope you like how their relationship builds. :D :D

I couldn't imagine her knowing Sirius before joining the Order, not as an Auror at least. Her Ministry work does end up having a big impact on the work she does for the Order which will be fun.

Oooh, thank you for pointing that out. I've been combining a lot of shorter sentences and that one didn't get completely cleaned up.

hehe, it is a giggle-worthy moment when Remus gets all awkward over nothing. :D

Thank you for an incredible review!!


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Review #20, by Tonks1247Shenanigans and Hi-Jinks: Missing the Train

9th July 2015:
Heya! Here from the BvB review battle!

I absolutely love what you have going here. I love the voices you give to Fred and Victoire and their dynamic as cousins. You write in a fashion that makes it obvious that they have been the best of friends for a long time and like to tease and/or drive each other crazy at times. It's easy to read their dynamic and question what sort of trouble will come next with them, especially after them missing the train.

I do enjoy how they dodged around their parents and decided Teddy was the one they would go to. Seems like the 3 of them are pretty close and I like the dynamic with the three of them as well.

I cannot wait to see the outcome of this missing the train business and what else they get into! I may also have to take a peek at some of the other stories with these three in them because I apparently haven't read much of your writing, and if it's anything like this, I definitely need to read more! :D

Great chapter!

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Review #21, by Tonks1247Cost of Redemption: Prologue

9th July 2015:
Hey! Here from the BvB review battle!

Oh my gosh. I love what you have going here. Quite seriously, you've picked such an excellent character who really deserves a better back story than we have gotten from the books.

We only know of his heroic effort to get the locket, not the events that lead him there. I think the fact that you're opening that door and taking time to explain how Regulus is viewing the world as a death eater, is fascinating. You also have so many options as to where to take his character from here, and if you keep his voice as strong as it is in this chapter? I'm excited to see where you'll take it! Also excited to see how it leads to the one big effort of finding and getting the locket!

Also, as bit of a side note, which side was the 6 year Ravenclaw on? Was he a Death Eater or was he against the Death Eaters? Either way, I like how his character was briefly included as it provided a more personal ad scary experience for Regulus as one second he was there and the next he wasn't. Really intense!

Absolutely love what you have going here! Keep it up! :)

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Review #22, by Tonks1247Actions Speak Louder than Words: Breakages: Scorpius POV

9th July 2015:
So. That was kinda intense.

I have to start by saying I really do adore Scorpius’ POV. I don’t know what it is about him, but he goes about things in such a different way than Rose. He takes the time to think through situations, knows when to back off and let things go, he’s observant, and, of course, some of his inner monologue makes me laugh. He really is a great character and his adoration for Rose is just so fantastic and I’m pretty sure you’re slowly but surely brainwashing me into loving Scorpius so much that he’s my favourite next gen character…which isn’t half as bad as I made it sound there…I kinda like it actually…

Ron’s POV here was amazing as well. I think, despite not remembering exactly what comes of this conversation, that it is an important little bit to have in there. It gives a good insight to Hermione’s past and opens the doors of similarities between Rose’s struggles and her mothers. Of course, Ron doesn’t know of them quite so well yet, but the fact that he has those connections and had to see Hermione suffer like that…it really kinda hurt. I mean, it’s great, but just…makes me sad.

Rose’s POV again was good as well. I like how she continually recognizes that he’s not his family. I do think she should, you know, say that to Scorpius more than once (since Ron’s so good at telling him the opposite and he doesn’t hear differently…), but just the fact that she knows that and loves him…I just really love the two of them and their dynamic. You build them such a loving relationship and I really, really adore it.

As for favourite lines here in this chapter:

“Sure. He gets a warning.” “That settles it. Albus is her favorite.”

“Look, if you idiots wouldn’t be so proud and moronic and simply go to St. Mungo’s to get treated first, I wouldn’t have to be here.”

Both made me giggle just a little bit. :D

Anddd before I forget. I love how you had all the chapters that start with ‘break’ all in the same day! I must then question…does this occur with all of the chapters that begin with the same word? I may have to investigate that a bit further to see…also…why the letter B? (Curiosity killed the cat…and I won’t make that lame joke about me not being a cat because that would be lame ;) )

Great job! Great chapter!

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Review #23, by Tonks1247Actions Speak Louder than Words: Breakable: Rose POV

9th July 2015:

Seriously. This edge of your seat, what’s happening next, is everyone okay thing, after having already read through these chapters, is killing me! I mean, I do love quite dearly how easily I can get into these chapters and how once I get into it again, I don’t want to stop, but this anxiety…I really love your writing. We’ll leave it at that.

I think you pick quite believable emotions for Rose after getting to the Potter’s house. She’s bound to become angry because she is pretty well trained with all kinds of defensive spells and the fact that she tends to just freeze up (Though it is super understandable) when danger is around is quite alarming. I also love how you have her speak to Ginny a bit, only to find out that her mum underwent similar things while on the run during the war. I really think it brings a new understanding to Rose about her mother and why her mother is the way she is. I also feel it brings mother and daughter closer together, as she doesn’t seem to be the first person Rose turns to.

As for Scorpius showing up? Well, against protocol isn’t exactly when he should be seeing her, but he does help relieve a lot of the anxiety (And it fits his character so well, that it really helps shape his character and his relationship with Rose.) with having information about the other family members. I feel terrible for Dom and hope that she’s alright, and Al, being a bit of stubborn pain about getting himself looked at and healed up. Makes sense, given his parents, but at the same time…really?

As for favourite lines this chapter:

“I held onto her the way I’d done when I was a small child. The world was so much more frightening than I ever thought it could be. She gripped me with such ferocity that I couldn’t tell who was consoling whom.”

You really broke my heart there, in a sweet way (if that makes any sense). The fact that their bond as mother and daughter is so strong and that they have this new understanding about how difficult life is and that they both understand…it’s tragically beautiful!

Great chapter!

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Review #24, by Tonks1247Actions Speak Louder than Words: Breakout: Rose POV

9th July 2015:
HOW COULD YOU END A CHAPTER LIKE THAT? I mean, I totally knew things were about to go down with Rose wanting to go out and all, but then to end a chapter with death eaters swarming a room with Scorpius telling Rose and Lily to leave him on his own?! Like, what is this! He first of all left Al alone and now he’s getting Rose and Lily to leave him alone as well and then you end the chapter and how am I to know what’s going to happen? (Besides reading the next chapter, which I’m pretty sure I HAVE to do at this point…) It’s just cruel (Though cliff hangers are just about my favourite things ever…just more so when I write them apparently)

What else can I say about this chapter…oh yeah!

AHAHAHAHA! Dom is like, the best ever. She picks quite the questions to scream at the top of her lungs at Rose and the fact that she doesn’t just let it go until Jax comes and interrupts her…I honestly just had to laugh. It fits in with the picture of Dom I have in my head and it was just funny, especially with how casual Selenia is with her sly grin and all…it really was entertaining!

Other than that…I think that’s it for this chapter. I didn’t pick out any particular lines that I fell in love with or laughed at (or at least ones I could share in a review), so I guess that’s it for this chapter…onto the next! :D


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Review #25, by Tonks1247My Brother: The Stages of Grief

9th July 2015:
Heya! Here from the BvB review battle! :)

I think I need a minute to stop crying and get myself put back together…

This was heart breaking! I knew that the story was going to touch on each stage of grief and after I first opened the story, I realized it was Colin and Dennis that the story would follow, but I never expected it to touch me so deeply.

Don’t get me wrong, I was upset when Colin died in the books, but the way you brought the grief of losing someone to life, how you made Dennis really feel the loss at every stage…I’m more upset now than when I originally read about his death. You give such a personal voice to the loss, and compare life from before to life after. You illustrate it in such a true way and each moment really showed one of the stages of grief. You gave Dennis such an honest voice and just…I’m rambling but I’m kind of a mess still…

This really was beautiful. You took these characters we don’t know a lot about and expanded their story and gave them so much…you justified them being brothers and how much it hurts to lose someone that close…it really was fantastic!

My favourite two lines:

“No kind words will bring my brother back from the dead.”

“I will preserve his memory as best I can, but I will continue to live.”

Great job!

Author's Response: Hi Mikaela!

Thank you so much for reading and reviewing! I'm sorry it took me a bit to answer your review--the HC was taking up my time. ;) But I'm really glad you liked this! I'm sorry I made you cry! (I mean, I guess that's a good thing, but I still feel bad!) I totally understand not really feeling much for Colin in the book--I didn't either, but I'm really glad that this story changed your perception of his death. It definitely changed mine! It was interesting to write, and I'm glad it affected you! Thank you so much for all of your compliments!


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