Reading Reviews From Member: Tonks1247
  
325 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Tonks1247Actions Speak Louder than Words: Buildup: Scorpius POV

29th March 2016:
Beth! I’m sorry I’m such a slacker! I read this a day or two after you posted and have been busy/tired/lazy and haven’t reviewed it yet! OH THE HORROR! HOW DARE I?!

*cough*

Sorry. Ignore that. I’ve been working nights and playing Quidditch all week and am over tired and weird. More so than normal.

Anyways.

I really wanna cuddle Scorpius. Like, he sounds like he’s having such a hard time with everything that’s been going on and like he’s taking on everything and putting this expectation on himself that he can’t be sad or talk about how he’s feeling because he’s gotta be strong. And like, I can respect that, but the poor guy….he’s a walking disaster from the sounds of it. He’s living in his own head and that’s never a good thing. Because then he’s spiralling into the ‘but what if it was Rose’ and that’s dangerous. Which is why it’s probably really good that Harry said something. Because someone needs to shake him a bit and get him to speak and honestly Rose is more than capable of managing his stress and her own.

I do find the different perspectives Scorpius notices on the case interesting. The head healer, Aphis Lawrence is sort of obnoxious. He’s so rash about everything and even if the case wasn’t so close to so many on the team, he could be a little more…delicate about it? Then again, when you’re distanced from an event it’s super easy to talk like that….And I also love how Dom is so easily focused on the case. Seems like she’s got that ability to compartmentalize, which is like, the greatest things ever. Helps her to focus. I think some of the others have that as well, although it seems like tensions are running so high because they can’t figure anything out. Which adds to Scorpius’ anxiety and panic and it’s actually a good description to show the break down he’s facing if he doesn’t let off some steam.

I’M ALSO SUPER BOTHERED BETH BECAUSE SCORPIUS’ PARENTS’ KITCHEN ACCIDENT IS PRESENT AND I WANT TO KNOW HOW THAT’S RELATED TO EVERYTHING AND I STILL KNOW NOTHING. Or maybe I’m just being paranoid and it really is nothing just something that keeps sticking out to me. Or maybe it’s not. :P

Overall, this was a lovely chapter. I was quite excited to see another one come out and I cannot wait for the next! Love seeing what happens and can only anxiously anticipate the things to come…

-Mikaela

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Review #2, by Tonks1247A Single Point In Time: 1984

22nd March 2016:
Woah. So I decided another chapter in light of the BVB Blitz going on was a must and just…totally blown away by this. Like, for entirely different reasons than every other chapter this story has contained.

You’ve constructed Narcissa’s character in such a unique way. Like, I can entirely admit that I’ve never really read stories that centred on her character, and maybe not even considered much about her character, but upon reading her…I envision her character so differently. The fact that having a child wasn’t on her agenda and it was unwanted and unexpected…it puts different expectations on Draco growing up and it explains a lot, I think. It shows how Narcissa is so used to playing a certain part, of being a wife, of being picture perfect, of standing beside her husband as he talks himself into good positions and charms people…and to have a sun changed that. She still has that expectation but it’s almost like she resents (And maybe resent is too strong a word) it. Like it’s not the same now that she has to tend to a baby. Like everything she’s been through hasn’t prepared her for this, and it’s because of the war, and it’s because things changed so fast and because her family was standing where they were when everything fell apart.

Honestly, you gave me a lot to think about in this chapter and I’m quite happy the idea is planted and I’ve got something new and different to ponder...

Lovely story, lovely chapter!
-Mikaela

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Review #3, by Tonks1247A Single Point In Time: 1983

22nd March 2016:
Hiya! Nymphie Tonks here, stopping by as part of the BVB Blitz round!

I was pretty heartbroken at this chapter. Like, the two previous ones were pretty difficult to read as the emotions portrayed are so dark and tragic, but this…just…it’s so, so sad.

Sirius’ entire situation just kills me. Like, he’s imprisoned for a crime he didn’t commit. He’s framed as a murderer while the real murderer is hiding out as a rat after blowing up people and selling out James and Lily. And that’s not even the worst part. The worst part is he’s forced to forget himself, to separate himself into this two beings, one that can survive the Dementors and prison and the other that only holds the shreds of a man who once lived.

The description, the way he uses the mind of a dog, the blankness, the unthinking, to protect himself…like honestly, I could imagine nothing worse. Especially as it almost seems as his survival instinct takes over. Even if he wants to stay human, and wants these memories he still has, he’s forced into the unthinking, the uncomprehending because otherwise he faces insanity. I don’t even know how to process what you’ve put into this chapter, put into Sirius’ character at this point in time. It’s tragic and just…it was a moment that you captured so perfectly and I love it.

Really, really great job with it. I loved it. And here are two lines that stuck out to me….

”He thought often of James, of his dead white body, once handsome too, and how they were now both trapped in a damp little box that surrounded them.”

“He cast his eyes upwards, outwards, through the bars of his window once again, breathing steadily, trying to catch the gaze of the moon.”


Lovely job, again.
-Mikaela

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Review #4, by Tonks1247Keep Calm and Carry On: A Guide to Schmoozing and Carrying On

22nd March 2016:
BVB BLITZ!

Hiya J!

I know I tend to repeat myself every chapter I come back and review, but I just can’t get over this story. Lorcan is such a real character to me…like, me and him would probably be best friends. He’s socially awkward, sarcastic, and the types of things he picks up on…the only real difference is I’m not quite /that/ clutsy. I mean, I can be pretty terrible, tripping over my own feet and losing my mind and unable to do simple things after too many hours of work, but just…I love Lorcan. He’s such a real character and just…I can’t get over it.

Focusing on the events of this chapter.

Nicholson just gives off this weird vibe. He’s obviously somewhat of a jerk, but there’s this big thing centered on money and the banks and goblins and politicians like him are precisely why I avoid the topic at all costs. So focused on something that really shouldn’t be made a priority. And him playing dumb about the whole thing and then agreeing…I can just see where things are going to go downhill. I can feel it. And I’m pretty curious as to what it’s going to be…

This thing that Branson and Erick are pushing with Scamander and Camille…it makes me laugh. Being socially awkward and pushed in that position are terrible and the fact that I can read the situation without being in amuses me greatly. Probably more than it should. But we’ll ignore that.

I’m also interested in how this speech writing is crafted. I mean, I usually avoid politics so I’ve never thought much about what they say and that someone has likely researched the topic, written up a speech, and then framed it in a way that’s sort of blurry on the details so people won’t persay disagree with what’s being said…as a writer, it definitely is a new way to look at politics. Like, I may actually have to start breaking things down outside of this story and that scares me…

The only thing I noticed is a consistency thing. It’s not huge, but sometimes, when tagging text, it’s ‘Helen says’ while other times it’s ‘Branson says.’ It may be intentional and fine and how it works, but because the commentary is filtered by Lorcan, maybe keeping it consistent what he refers to them as? If that even makes sense. Or you could leave. Really not that big a thing…

ANYWAYS. Favourite line/ section:

Apparently they’d be publishing their findings in The Quibbler, so perhaps I’d be able to read it when that happened.

Although, knowing them, it would likely be published in invisible ink or something. Or they’d just wait four years to do it.


Lovely chapter!
-Mikaela

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Review #5, by Tonks1247Keep Calm and Carry On: A Guide to Keeping Calm and Eating Pizza

27th February 2016:
Hiya J!

I really do love this story. This chapter brought such an array of emotions and interactions and just…I’m amazed by what you’ve managed with this story and how it never gets dull and always has something new and exciting going on. Like, I’m not one for politics, but the way you take away the jargon and drama that gets exposed with media and stuff…it makes it all the more fascinating. That and when Lorcan’s involved… xD

So. I like the different events in this chapter. You have a combination of so many situations and so many emotions but the way it comes together in this chapter is cohesive. None of the sections overpower each other and I feel you did each one justice. You show Lorcan in a number of different positions and I feel like Lily really becomes a bit more real in this chapter. I love how she’s the one who volunteers to stay with Lorcan to help fix the situation, encouraging everyone to go home, before admitting she has no idea what to do. I probably shouldn’t have laughed, but it just gave a good little insight into her character and fits with how I see Lily’s character.

Also…I will admit the article made me laugh. About Lorcan and Branson and Erick. Totally misinterpretation and just…I probably shouldn’t have laughed. Because I hate when media stories come out like that in RL because the full backstory is never known but like…I know the back story here and just…well. It was entertaining.

And I could probably go on and on with parts I loved, but I think I’ll just leave it with my favourite lines. Otherwise I could probably write a lot more…xD And with the favourite lines, the first one made me laugh and the second one…well, it’s just a bit relatable to what I do in RL and just…you did it justice here and it was lovely.

I know that I thought I needed a cunning plan to get my brother and Will together, but that was before I remembered that I have the tact and subtlety of a drunken toddler.

“Yeah, but it wasn’t enough.”


Great job on this chapter! Hopefully will be able to get to the next soon! :D

-Mikaela

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Review #6, by Tonks1247Keep Calm and Carry On: A Guide to Interviewing and Carrying On

27th February 2016:
Hiya J!

Bahahahaha! So glad I found time to stop by and drop a review for this chapter. It was soo good the first time I read it and just as amusing the second! I mean, poor Lorcan getting stuck doing interviews with Mordred and Ryo and the others…it was much too amusing to read his thoughts—and borderline dread—that came from each of the interviews. And him being awkward laying on the ground when Lily came in only to sit up and hit his head…it makes his character so real in my head and I feel like I could totally pull of something like that. Honestly, pretty sure Lorcan and I could compete as to who could be more awkward in a situation.

Anyways. I like Lysander. I like how him and Lorc both plant ideas of future relationships for each other. I mean, there kinda seems to be a thing between Lily and Lorcan already, but for Lysander to point it out…well, I’m sure it’ll be something that sticks around in Lorc’s head. As for the whole Will and Lysander thing? I just get the feeling that situation will turn out interesting. I mean….Lorcan trying to get them together? It’s gotta be good.

I’m also impressed. Pretty sure you’ve managed to expose which house everyone is in pretty quickly in this chapter. Maybe from a combination of this chapter and next? I don’t know… (What happens when I’m behind in reviewing, but keeping up in reading…) Either way, I get a clear picture of who is from where and I’m thinking my guesses were a bit off…but it all makes sense now! xD

Anddd. My favourite line/section I won’t (and partly can’t due to language) copy and paste here, but Lorcan’s reaction to Mordred was the greatest thing ever. Probably should not have laughed as much as I did. But it was really great.

Great job with this chapter!

-Mikaela

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Review #7, by Tonks1247Actions Speak Louder than Words: Bereaving: Scorpius and Rose POV

21st January 2016:
Hiya Beth!

Imma start by assuring you this chapter did nothing but break my heart almost as much as the last one did. Not quite as much, but like…this chapter really pulled at my heart because Selenia is truly gone and poor Albus is not taking it well and I can’t blame his heartbreak and Rose finding that gift from Selenia in the desk, and how Scorp was given it by her (which I had to jump back a few chapters to refresh my memory)…I’m so heartbroken. It makes me so sad to just imagine how drastically their lives changed due to the shock of losing someone that no one ever expected to be attacked….

I did have to smile just a little bit at how Rose realized the baby was moving and how Albus was the first one to feel the movement. It’s honestly just what needed to happen to help pull Albus out of himself. I like his instant freak out and asking what he should do and how he can help before he even knows what’s going on. That was so Albus. And it only continued as Rose was able to reach out to him and get him to agree to do something other than lie in bed. It makes me happy that he’s up, and I can only laugh at the thought of Scorpius finding out that Albus felt the baby move first and how he isn’t the first Rose goes to…I can just imagine the look on his face…

The only other things I have about this chapter are the two things that were touched on but not really focused on. And that’s Samara with her weird behaviour and that final assignment case study thing. Those two things have been bothering me for quite a number of chapters and I feel like they’re significant, as they keep coming up, and just…I’m curious and anxious to see where they come in. That final assignment is just weird…there’s something about those pictures and how they tie in with other things mentioned in this story…honest to goodness pulls at my mind every time they’re brought up. And Samara? Well…I’m suspicious, but I don’t know why. Her character just has certain behaviours and attitudes and I can’t say I trust her all that much…

Overall though, as much as this chapter was sad, I quite enjoyed it. I’ve missed reading these characters and was quite happy to come home and finally get time to read and review another chapter. Can’t wait for more!

-Mikaela

Author's Response: Mikaela,

Eeep! This review is so lovely and I can't get over how KIND and THOUGHTFUL you are to me. Thank you so much.

This chapter was difficult to write on one level because it was just so sad - but I couldn't just skip over their grief, so I'm glad you felt I did a good job with it. I'd always planned the part with Albus feeling the baby. In fact, I think I've had that down for nearly 3 years now! Kind of a "circle of life" thing - haha!

I don't want to comment too much about those two things you've noticed that keep popping up, except to say that you are very observant :)

Gah! I don't know if there's any higher praise for an author than "I missed reading these characters!" You have no idea how much that made my day!

Thanks again, Makaela - I'm so grateful for your support for this story.

♥ Beth


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Review #8, by Tonks1247Keep Calm and Carry On: A Guide to Keeping Calm and Not Sleeping

26th December 2015:
Hiya J!

First of all, I’m glad to see you back! Been a while, though I totally understand with the school thing. Long semester of constantly having stuff to do never makes it easy to be present online! But I’m glad to see you’ve survived it and seem to be doing well :D

That said, this chapter really was amazing! Like, I always forget how much I love characters and plots and stuff between updates and then a new update comes and I read it and then I want to re-read the entire story again just because it’s so good. And like, that’s always the case with this one. I just love Lorcan’s voice so much and his mannerisms. He seems like such a real sort of guy and his apparition mishaps are some of my favourite things. Especially as he’s apparating to see Lily and ends up in the bedroom of someone he can’t remember the name of. I was laughing so hard at that…it was good.

Anyways. I like this bit of competition with Penelope Clearwater. I mean, Branson’s reaction was another thing that had me laughing. I can just see her dramatic freak out, standing on desks, needing someone to pull her from the edge of losing it due to the news…Fits so well within her character and just…I love how it moved through the entire scene and was significant throughout. I mean, obviously it should be as that’s a huge competitor for Branson, I think, though there may be a bit of over reaction…haha.

I am happy to see the party did well and Lorcan managed greeting people alright. I would totally hate doing that because socially awkward is my middle name… not even kidding. Also love that William stayed behind to save Lorcan from another embarrassing apparition attempt. Like, part of me finds some twisted joy, thinking about where he could have ended up on his attempt to get home, but it was good he didn’t have to.

Overall, great chapter. I apologize that this review was a bit scatter brained but it is late and I have a terrible cold (Or at least I’ll use that as my excuse!) and I did put in a valiant attempt at making sense…I think? But really. This was a good chapter. Still loving this story and can’t wait to see what comes next!

AND BEFORE I GO. My favourite line.

I shouldn’t be allowed out in public. My parents went desperately wrong somewhere along the line. Although, considering who they are, I suppose I’m about as normal as I could have ever been.

Lovely chapter! Happy Holidays as well!
-Mikaela

Author's Response: Lovely Mikaela, thanks for your continued interest in this story! I'm hoping to be better about updating going forward, because I really fell off the bus this semester. I hope it continues to entertain!

Aw I'm glad you got right back into the story with this update! He's such a crazy guy but it works for him. My writing process for him is like "what's Lorcan trying to do now? okay, how can I mess that up in some way?" and bam! he's in a stranger's bedroom. I'm so so glad you're still enjoying the fic though! Thanks for sticking with it. :)

Branson? Overreacting? Never! Just kidding, they're all crazy. Clearwater may be competition, sure, but I'm not sure standing on your desk is ever the answer! :P

Oh man, I would hate Lorcan's job at the party too! I was just helping out some of my clubs at my university's activity fair and it was an absolute nightmare. I realized halfway through that I have no idea how to smile normally at people! It was no good, and I feel really bad for Lorcan. He somehow managed to work it, though! William is a good friend, because at this point, Lorcan could definitely break the Statute of Secrecy by apparating into the middle of a pub or somehing!

No worries-- I didn't think it was scatterbrained at all! I love hearing your reactions. I hope you're feeling better now! (Although, a month later, that seems somewhat inevitable. :P)

Haha glad you liked that! I can't imagine growing up with Luna as a mother, so it is rather shocking that Lorcan isn't weirder!

Thanks again for your wonderful review! :)

--J


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Review #9, by Tonks1247Christmas After The War: Christmas After The War

19th December 2015:
Happy Holidays! Merry Christmas! Tis the Season!

I’ve returned again, QTR Holiday Fun in mind, to leave another little gift for you!

First: Wow. You totally nailed pulling three different challenges together and formed a fairly cohesive story line. Like, I wasn’t sure what to expect when I read the challenges included in the summary, but this was amazing.

I love how each section highlights a different struggle, one that exists due to the war and the consequences it held. I also adore how it was easy to tell which character it was, along with getting a good feel of what the character was experiencing in just 100 words. Like, I got a feel for the character and it seemed in line with cannon and just…It’s pretty amazing, what you’ve managed here.

Also, like, way to break my heart:

“Instinctively, she glanced at her clock before remembering his face was no longer there. They had arrived back from the battle to find it was gone.”

Like, I can’t explain the type of pain that this caused my poor heart. And the tears pooling in my eyes…like, why’d you do this? This clock, for whatever reason, means so much to Mrs. Weasley and the fact that Fred’s just gone from it…I’m heartbroken for her pain, and her perseverance to make this Christmas good for her family. (Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely adore this section and the fact that it makes me sad! Such a strong emotion in such a short amount of time…it’s beautiful!

Really, really fantastic job on this!

-Mikaela

(Also, just realized I used Tis the Season, and like, that was one of the challenges and it was unintentional and I don’t know how to feel about that…xD)

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Review #10, by Tonks1247Dancing Away With My Heart: Dancing Away With My Heart

19th December 2015:
MERRY CHRISTMAS! Stopping by for the QTR holiday fun!

I’m going to start by admitting that not only is the first time I’ve read one of your stories, but it’s also the first time I’ve ever read a Cedric/Cho. That said, I really enjoyed this story! I love how you picked such a big scene in the fourth book and written it from a different perspective with an entirely different experience. Especially as I feel you’ve written Cho’s character so well.

Cho definitely sounds like a 14/15 year old girl and her interactions with Cedric definitely give away that she’s had a crush on him for quite a while. She blushes and isn’t sure how to talk to him and it’s awkward, but it’s not the type of awkward that makes it terrible, you know? It’s just like that nerves, butterflies in your stomach thing where you don’t know where to start talking but once you do, everything is fine. Definitely a relatable thing.

I also adore that this uses the Lady Antebellum song! Especially Dancing Away with my Heart. One of my favourite songs from them and it fits this moment so well. I do feel you could have put a little bit more description into the situation, and how Cho was feeling while dancing with him, and how she really didn’t want it to be the end of the night, but I do feel you’ve captured the song and the emotions and the interactions between the two of them.

Overall, this was quite fantastic. I enjoyed the read!

-Mikaela

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Review #11, by Tonks1247Life-Changing Moments: Chapter 1.

19th December 2015:
MERRY CHRISTMAS! HAPPY HOLIDAYS! SEASON CHEER!

Hiya! I’m stopping by for some QTR Holiday fun! Reviews are my choice of gift this year, and the giving has just begun! (I don’t know why I’m getting rhymey here…)

I adore Ginny’s character. I’ve explored it a bit in my own writing and have found that her character is absolutely lovely! She’s got such a fiery personality and doesn’t back down. She doesn’t always worry about her wellbeing as much as she worries about being true to herself and I can tell you now, you fit her character into that head cannon I have of her and it was truly amazing!

I love the walkthrough of the events, of seeing Harry dead in Hagrid’s arms and how she couldn’t move-or hardly breathe. It’s so true, that moment when the world stops and things are going on and you can’t be aware of them. How your brain works in overtime and then you go into denial because it’s easier than anything else…like, I get that and I definitely saw it in Ginny’s character and how it fit with how she was feeling and processing.

Honestly, you did a really good job with her character. I quite enjoyed the journey!

I also must share my favourite line because I could only giggle at it, with how fitting it was for her character:

“Though, of course, that didn’t mean I would refrain from hexing him for pulling that stunt on us. That, I couldn’t promise.”

Lovely!

-Mikaela

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Review #12, by Tonks1247They still live...: ...just a bit differently!

19th December 2015:
MERRY CHRISTMAS! HAPPY HOLIDAYS! TIS THE SEASON! Stopping by to spread some holiday cheer with the QTR holiday fun stuff!

I’m not quite sure how to start here. Part of me is broken for what this story tells, the other is amazed by what you’ve captured and portrayed. Honestly, I have just recently gotten into reading about Alice and Frank and how they experience life and to find this story and to read it, and to see that Alice doesn’t just become better or doesn’t just recognize people or come back to herself…it’s heart breaking, but so accurate and just…I really love how you describe it here.

I adore the shifts in time, with it going from the past to the present and back again. It puts just a little more into the story, gives these characters a background despite them not really knowing themselves. I felt I got a good feel for these character and that, despite their condition, they still have the same core…like, they’re not changed people. They are still Alice and Frank, despite not knowing that, you know? Maybe I’m just rambling and it doesn’t make sense…

Anyways. I did find a couple minor wording things while I was reading:

“Alice grinned to herself as she took in the colourful surroundings around her.” Maybe have ‘took in her colourful surroundings’ as it seems a bit repetitive as it is now

“Alice looked up at the familiar voice wondering who were Mr. and Mrs. Longbottom.” I would suggest having the word ‘were’ come after ‘Mr. and Mrs. Longbottom’ just because it’s easier to read and flows a bit.

“War does no differentiation between young or old, innocent or guilty. It just sucks everybody into despair and misery.” –First, I absolutely adore this line. It is my favourite of the story. Only little thing: ‘no’ I think is intended to be ‘not’

“She continued eating one gum after other.” –rather than ‘other’, maybe ‘another’

This was really, really lovely. I adore how you set up the story, and the characters, and how it broke my heart. Really, you did great with this!

-Mikaela

Author's Response: Hello Mikaela!! :)

Gah! Thanks for such a lovely review. I don't usually take this much time to answer reviews, but the first time I read this one, I just didn't know how to respond.

I'm so happy you liked this story. No, you were not rambling. It all makes complete sense to me because I view Alice and Frank similarly. They don't know who they are, don't recognise themselves but they are still the same people inside. That is what I had tried do portray in this story. I'm glad you liked the back and forth switch in time.

Thank you so much for pointing out all those wording errors. I'm going to fix them soon. :)

Thanks again for this lovely and helpful review. Wish you a very MERRY CHRISTMAS!!

-Emm ^_^


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Review #13, by Tonks1247Actions Speak Louder than Words: Brutal Agony: Rose POV

6th October 2015:
Beth….I don’t what you’ve just done to me but I am a total and complete mess. Like, need a Kleenex, crying so hard I’m curled up and the couch and likely to get a weird look from my father when he walks in the house. I’m so heartbroken about what just happened in this chapter and that Rose just had to do that, in this situation, and that Albus knows that nothing is going to get better, that it can’t be better, and that a lot of his family is there and is trying to comfort him when comfort is not even a part of his vocabulary anymore. Like, heartbroken is not even a good enough word for it anymore. Especially when there’s five other victims who died from the same curse and there’s at least three different people using it and I’m just so torn…

Okay, moving on to other things so I can stop feeling like this….things I feel you did well in this chapter (besides put me into a state of broken hearted denial of course) is showing Rose trying her hardest to compartmentalize herself. It’s one of the hardest things to accomplish in any position in which you’re caring for people, to be able to go on and keep doing your job despite feeling so torn apart about what you’re doing and seeing. It’s not an easy thing to do and I feel you described that feeling quite well, actually. I get the feel of Rose on the edge of losing it, but trying to keep herself together simply because she has to. It’s really good to see, though I worry about how things will go from here because she is going to be really upset, but so is Al and Scorp has to figure out how to handle this, as well as Rose, and Rose is going to blame herself and Al…well, I don’t know what he’s going to be thinking coming out on the other side of this. Like, it’s a complicated mess, where this is headed, and I’m actually particularly excited to see what you do with it…

I also need to just say that Ron, taking Rose back and trying to protect her as I assume the all clear was given long before it was supposed to be (And I almost feel like it was maybe Al when he realized it was Selenia who was injured, but it’s super hard to tell) was a something that really stuck with me. I’m not sure why, but the fact that he’s the one to notice her and to take her back and tell her it’s not safe and for Scorp them to step forward…like, for as much emotional distress as everyone’s in, they are still thinking over the situation and keeping guard and doing their jobs. It’s a bit of a mess, but at the same time, it’s super realistic as to how things are broken down and handled.

Anddd I do like this spacing. With the extra space. It made it a bit easier to read and I honestly hadn’t even realized you did it until I saw the comment in your author’s note, but I do really like it.

Also…CONGRATULATIONS ON THE DOBBY! It’s super exciting that you’ve won the dobby for Most Addicting Story and I cannot even express how much this story deserves it and how excited I was when I saw that! I’m really happy about it, Beth! You’ve put a lot of hard work into this story and it is really, really lovely and you really deserve the recognition!

Great job Beth! I’m crushed, but looking forward to how you take this moving forwards!

-Mikaela

Author's Response: Mikaela,

Gah! This review - it had *everything* and just... thanks so much!!!

Prepare for onslaught of gushing...

I know it's kinda mean of me, but I was *hoping* for that sort of reaction to this chapter. I don't want to make it seem like I'm getting a lot of pleasure from causing you pain, but I'm excited that the story and characters that I feel so strongly about are conveyed well enough for you to feel the same way. I also teared up when I was writing and editing this.

And I'm SO relieved that you found the scene believable. I know you work in the medical field (and I don't) so I was holding my breath, waiting for your reaction. I really, really wanted to properly portray Rose's emotions mixed with her obligations. And the fact that you characterized her as "strong" has me doing backflips! She doesn't see it as much as everyone else does, but she is incredibly brave and solid. She's gotten so much better since the beginning of the story.

Yay - thanks for the comment about the line spacing. At some point, I'll go back tot he other chapters and fix it, because I think you're right about how much easier it is to read.

Eeep! Thanks! I was so, SO excited for the Dobby award. I'm still smiling from it. Gah! You've just hit me in the feels - AGAIN!

Thanks again - for all your amazing reviews and wonderful feedback!

♥ Beth


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Review #14, by Tonks1247Beautiful Mess: Beautiful Mess

9th September 2015:
Hiya!

I want to start by saying congrats on the Dobby nomination! Such an exciting time! I’m actually going through stories, reading and leaving as many reviews on nominated stories as I can, so here we go! :D

This was really a beautiful moment to catch. I’m kind of a sucker for Harry/Ginny at the moment, and the fact that you show this moment of them just loving what they have…well, it was really sweet.

I love how Ginny walks into the house after just a few short hours away to the house in ruins. It honestly doesn’t surprise me in the least bit. The fact that flour is ALL over the place and the living room has been redesigned for a game of Lava, and the kids and Harry are also covered in flour…you really did a good job illustrating the mess in my head. I could see it, and much like Ginny, could imagine the events of those hours, the running around and laughing, the having fun cause dad’s in charge…

Having Ginny go up and join them was so perfect to. I like how they were all together and how James wasn’t fighting his dependence on his parents and how Ginny was amazed with Lily being held by Harry in a way she hadn’t since she was a baby. It was just…it was really heart-warming and the little bits of conversation between Ginny and Harry were just perfect.

I did notice two small things:

“As she stepped through the door she climbed over coat rack that had somehow toppled over.” –the word ‘the’ should be before ‘coat rack’

“It seems so.”-seems should be seemed, to fit tense wise

Despite those things, this was really rather lovely. I enjoyed the idea behind the story and loved walking through the Potter’s house with Ginny. This was really beautiful!

-Mikaela

Author's Response: Mikaela,

Thank you for taking the time to read and review my story. I am actually quite humbled at the amount of love it has received and the Dobby nomination, never in my wildest dreams did I expect this. But I am thankful for it!

Dad in charge is always a fun day. I didn't want Ginny to be all angry and uptight about it because I don't think she is that kind of mother. James is becoming more independent - as all children begin to- and I'm glad you enjoyed watching them interact in their nap. Your words are so very kind.

I went back and changed the errors so thank you for pointing that out to me!

Frankie


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Review #15, by Tonks1247Serenity: Serenity

9th September 2015:
Hiya!

I want to start here by saying congratulations on the Dobby Nomination! There are so many stories on the forums and it’s really exciting to see amazing stories getting recognized. Especially stories like this, which are so, so lovely and deserving of a Dobby!

That said, I seriously love what you did with this piece. Like, I’m at a loss for words as to where to begin with what I loved and what worked well because this entire story—the characters, the descriptions, the flow, the plot, the mixed emotions—all worked together to create this beautiful piece of work that made me feel things for a character I’ve never thought much about. It was really amazing to read through and I’m so happy I got the opportunity to stop by (this was on my to-read list as I’ve heard a lot of good things about it, but it got bumped up due to reading week for the Dobbys :D ).

I think I’ll start with a little talk about the characterization. Because I was amazed by what you did with Padma’s character, and how it was so intertwined with Isobel’s character. I’m pretty sure that’s actually what made this so much more emotional and heart breaking at the end, how Padma’s character was in part made up of these feelings for Isobel and how Isobel was this secret lover, of sorts, and how it was meant to be kept quiet, just for the two of them. And how, in the end, it’s not quite enough. Like, tragic really, but it really gives good perspective for Padma’s character, as she struggles not only with finding out she’s got feeling for this girl so early on, but that her mother would not approve and has all these expectations. When her character is then put under pressure, she kind of cracks, unable to make everyone happy. It’s such a hard position to be in because she can’t decide what she feels is right or wrong because everyone has different expectations of her. I really did feel for her there, especially when Isobel then ended up with Anthony, the guy she could be with and make her mother-and possibly herself-happy with.

That actually leads into the plot you’ve got going on. Which is so complex, just like the feelings Padma has for Isobel, and the ones that may even be there for Anthony. This sort of love triangle is so complex and I feel you put words to it in the best way possible. You really highlight moments Padma has with both individuals and make us see a possible future with both of them. It’s really beautiful, that indecision and how clear you’ve brought it across.

Another thing is the story flow here. I am honestly in awe of how you constructed your prose. Honestly, it was so easy to get into because it has this kind of rhythm to it. It almost read like a poem, as it was so easy to go from line to line and one line flowed into the next which worked with the following paragraph and it just went on and on and on. Seriously, if this would have went on longer, I could have kept reading because it was just so easy to read and so easy to feel things, especially with the voice Padma told the story in. It was really, really powerful.

I don’t even know what else to cover here, without just rambling. Because really, it’s so hard to put to words how much this story struck me and how it just sticks out in my head…it’s really amazing, what you constructed here, and there were so many sections that I fell in love with and just…this was really, really great. Really, really great job on this!

-Mikaela

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Review #16, by Tonks1247There Once Was Magic: They Don't Last Long

7th September 2015:
Hiya! I’m Nymphie Tonks over on the forums, swinging by from the BvB review battle.

I am completely blown away by what you’ve managed here. You’ve written this bittersweet love story and totally captivated and crushed me with the words you’ve put down on the page. Seriously, I felt so much for Hannah in such a short amount of time that processing it all is just so difficult, but it was just so beautiful.

You start this out on such a light feeling note. The description and the narration is just spot on and I found myself falling into understanding of how this relationship worked between the two of them. It wasn’t something extravagant, wasn’t complicated, it just kind of was there and it was sweet. It was open and free, giving space for them both to just be themselves and it was really nice, them having this despite the war going on.

Your transition then, from this scene to the train, is really lovely as well. I like how smooth it is, how he just sort of slides out of the way and is gone. It’s a good transition, I feel, because it’s Hannah’s adjustment to not having him there and her way of being okay with him being gone. You continue to build that with her sending him letters, but not telling him of the atrocities she faces at school. She sort of wants to protect him, in a way, and it really builds their relationship up more. It makes it more, it makes it easier to see and understand.

Then, of course, comes the battle and him showing up and him dying fighting. And the things Hannah thinks when she sees his body, the memories…it’s all really hard to read. I felt so much for her loss, how significant of a loss it is to her…it really broke my heart. Especially as she stands at his coffin in the next segment and it’s a goodbye she doesn’t want to make. It really did sort of crush me, after having felt and seen what things were like in the beginning, with it being so good. And your descriptions here of the wood and the velvet…they were really beautiful and just added to the heart break and the feeling of that heart break.

I think, though, the part that really broke my heart there was at the end. With the chocolate frog box. And there just being one chocolate frog. Like, totally started tearing up and had to give myself a minute just to process what happened and not start crying because what you constructed here, with the chocolate frogs, and having it open and close with that…it really was heart breaking. I don’t think it helps that your narration and POV was just so spot on and it really fit with her character and the situation…it really was beautiful.

The only thing I noticed was some places where a comma may have made the sentences flow better. Looking back now that I’ve read this over twice, I’m not catching them right away, but may be something to look over.

Overall though, this was a really, really lovely story. It was so beautifully written and I got to feel so much for your characters in such a short amount of time…really good job here!

And before I go, my favourite line/section:

The box should feel cold in my hands, but it is just a cardboard box. The bright colors stand out in sharp contrast against the dark gloom surrounding me. Suffocating me. I take a step forward, and part of the soft bank gives way and falls into the water leaving the sound of a quiet plunk in the air. You had always liked the Great Lake.

Really sweet and just…lovely. Really, really lovely.

-Mikaela

Author's Response: Hi Mikaela!
Thank you so so much for this super sweet and kind review. *hug* I'm so happy that you felt all of these emotions because it means I did something right. I feel bad though because I made you almost cry. Sorry about that!

Also, thank you for your comments on the descriptions. I actually worked the hardest on figuring out which words would fit the scene most accurately and where I needed to add more detail. I'm so glad that hard work paid off!

The comment on that larger transition also meant a lot. Transitions (and endings) are something that I struggle with, and so it's awesome that you thought it worked and fit well.

Thanks again for this review and nominating that quote for QTR Quote of the Month.
~Panda


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Review #17, by Tonks1247Actions Speak Louder than Words: Bumps: Scorpius AND Rose POV

7th September 2015:


I think I need a minute. Then again, I don’t think a minute will be long enough to be able to handle what just happened there. Because…just…she just…it wasn’t supposed to…I just…no.

This chapter needs a prewarning. PREPARE TO HAVE YOUR HEART CRUSHED. Or something to that affect. Because I’m honestly on the brink of tears here and I kinda knew what was going to happen the second Rose insisted on Selenia taking the cloak and I was repeatedly telling my computer screen not to let it happen and it just happened anyways and now the situation is as it lies and it’s unclear if she’s okay or if something worse has happened and I’m all anxious because of course you leave it at a cliff hanger right there and Albus and I’m sure the other auror’s standing around him are related or his normal group and I think I’m just going to curl up here with a fluffy blanket, waiting anxiously for a chapter to tell me she’s okay even though I won’t want to read it because what if she’s not okay and now I’m just…Beth, that was cruel. So, so cruel.

Focusing on the parts of this chapter that didn’t crush me, I really love how Rose and Scorpius have a whole floor of Grimmauld Place to themselves. I love how it’s set up as a kind of apartment and the fact that it’s a totally different looking space from what it used to be is just amazing. I love how surprised Rose is by it as well and how everyone panics about her reaction, except Scorpius of course. He knows better and it is really lovely to see them getting some space and just some time together, now that Scorpius is over his little thing of spacing himself out and whatever. And the little bit about the baby bump! I love how Scorpius just takes it all in. He’s so excited about this baby and to see the changes that show he’s going to have a baby…well, I’m really excited to see him get more excited about the baby! (Also love Rose scolding him for apologizing…definitely needed xD)

I also had to laugh at Rose and her caution now. How she was nervous with the whispering voices and all. I’m pretty sure this won’t be the first time it happens because like, that whole St. Mungos attack thing was pretty intense and I sometimes don’t understand how she can sleep at night knowing that that could happen…enough to freak anyone out.

Also really cool to see Rose with her practice set up. I’m really intrigued by the idea of her developing this position at the ministry, and how she has to go about getting it to work with the Auror’s actually coming to her. I’m intrigued to see it in action, which kinda comes in at the end of this chapter, but I am really eager to see more of it.

Besides my ranting like above, the end of this chapter was pretty intense. Rose should probably come up with a better plan as to how to keep herself occupied while waiting for the all clear. Because that seemed like a long time of her just trying to keep herself occupied. Although, it doesn’t seem like her mind goes as far as to what’s going at the call site which is good.

Anddd the fact that Selenia is the one attacked? Well I’m still over here having a meltdown, I also worry about Rose. She’s the one who insisted Selenia wears her traveling cloak out and now with the attack…Rose won’t be taking it well. And depending on what has all happened, poor Albus…it’s just not a good situation for any of them. This was a bit of a personal attack, almost worse than attacking Rose (Rose is the expected target), and I just fear what’s going to happen with that next…

Really anxious to read more and see where you take this. You leave a lot up in the air at the end of this chapter and I did really, really love it, despite the fact that it was really, really cruel and ends in a cliff hanger like this. Great job with this chapter!

-Mikaela

Author's Response: Hiya Mikaela,

So... I guess apologies are in order... is it bad that I'm more happy and giddy over this review than remorseful about causing you so much stress? I really am an awful person, I know.

So happy you like the idea of a one-floor flat (sort of) for Rose and Scorpius. It was the best solution for their situation and hopefully Rose feels a little less like she's in hiding and has a nice place to bring their baby home to.

Haha - the scene with the bump was so fun to write!

The position at the ministry was a fantastic solution on Harry's part. Everything seems to be going swimmingly... oops and then THAT happened.

Yeah - the fact that Rose *knows* pretty much all her loved ones are responding to an undoubtedly dangerous situation and she just has to wait around for an "all-clear" before she can respond, can get fairly stressful. I think it will be tough at first, but she will get used to it as time goes by.

The next chapter should be coming along in a little bit. I've got most of it written out, but I need to work out some details for later parts of the story.

Thanks again, Mikaela - GAH this review was so, SO amazing!

♥ Beth


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Review #18, by Tonks1247Keep Calm and Carry On: A Guide to Writing Speeches and Carrying On

2nd September 2015:
Hiya J!

I don’t know how you do it, but every new chapter I read of this story I love more than the last. Seriously, I come back expecting the entertainment and sarcasm and chaos of this office and I always get that and more! Maybe it’s because I like the drama and it keeps getting more intense, but keep this up! I love it!

With this chapter, I feel all of the characters have more voice. Erick is obviously the ambition person who drives everyone insane by expecting them to have everything under control and moving. He’s loud and commands to be listened to. Linda is the one that likes to poke at people, mock them and speak her mind. Bruce likes to speak his mind and seems a little bit more logical, questioning when things don’t make sense. Lily puts effort into her work and wants things to move forward as smoothly as possible. Lorcan is the awkward sarcastic one that tries to keep his head down and ends up embarrassing himself quite regularly. Peter is the one whose all over, misses things, and everyone abuses (not in a mean way per say…just the one they can push around well). And Branson is just Branson.

Like, seriously, I have distinct pictures of each of the characters in my head and this chapter helps me place a voice to each of them and it really is quite lovely. Because I could see this group working in an office, accomplishing things, and being a good ‘team’ (despite the questioning of using this word for them ;) ). Can also see where chaos would ensue as personalities clash and ones get short tempered quicker than others…it really is a good dynamic, you illustrate it well, and make it realistic.

As for plot, you are moving along this campaign. I like the dynamics of how it builds and changes. It’s an interesting thing, not being interested in politics and seeing all this stuff go on in a story like this. A lot easier to want to keep track of when seeing it from the inside and when it doesn’t actually affect how RL politics work xD

But really, you’ve got a great idea going with this story. I like the direction you’re headed with it and I honestly can’t wait to see where you take it. I want to see this campaign take off and move forward, but I also want to see where these awkward Lorcan and Lily moments go. Because they’re quite lovely and dramatic.

There was one thing I noticed:

S”he was, after all, the mastermind behind the worst office layout imaginable, not to mention to Elf Mead Disaster of ‘27” –I think you mean ‘the’ rather than ‘to’ before ‘Elf’ (Also, I love this sentence. A lot).

Andd I also have some favourite lines to share. I have 3, mostly because I couldn’t narrow them down any further, and the second one is definitely something I would mutter, given the opportunity…. xD

…the bags under her eyes she had tried to cover with some...blush? Foundation? Makeup things.

“Alright, thanks for coming, everybody.” // “It’s not like we had much of a choice.”

“We mustn’t argue amongst ourselves amidst such a momentous time in Madam Branson’s life! We must come together and work towards our shared goal.”


Anddd also, before I go, I’m editing who I think was in which house:

Erick –Slytherin; Branson-Hufflepuff; Lorcan-Gryffindor; Lily-Ravenclaw?; Linda- Slytherin?; Bruce-Ravenclaw?; Peter-Hufflepuff?

Great chapter! I really enjoyed this one and cannot wait for the next one! :D

-Mikaela

Author's Response: Heya Mikaela! Thank you once more for being the best, and I'm sorry that I sound like such a broken record!! I just really appreciate you taking the time to give such thorough feedback. :)

Ahh my biggest fear is just losing the thread of a story in the middle of it, so it's really exciting to hear that this story isn't losing its appeal! Writing Lorcan is really natural to me and the plot is just kind of writing itself at this point! It's totally out of my control. I have no idea how long this fic is going to be, but I'm along for the ride as much as any reader!

You've absolutely nailed the characters! It takes a bit to really establish them, especially because my ideas of them keep changing and developing as the story progresses, but I'm glad they seem so clear to you! "And Branson is just Branson." -- sounds about right! She defies explanation. :P

The office dynamic is really crucial to this fic and I'm glad it's coming through! They're in a really high pressure job, as weird as it seems, and that definitely makes them lash out a bit more than they should! They're also all super opinionated, so that makes everything a lot harder than it needs to be (like the use of the word "team" for them-- it's really not that big a deal!).

Haha yeah, I'm not a huge politics person either, so I'm trying to keep it interesting as I go! Let me know when it gets boring and I'll see what I can do with it. :P

I'm glad Lorcan and Lily seem "lovely and dramatic" and not just terribly awkward! I was worried about that, because as much as they along splendidly, their weirdness kinda dominates the story so far.

Ahh I love seeing your favorite lines! Those are some great ones. (Full disclosure: I myself do not wear makeup, and am always confused when talking about it, so I transferred that to Lorc!)

You're getting closer with those Houses. ;)

Thanks so much for your review, and sorry for the delay in answering! You're the best. :)

--J


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Review #19, by Tonks1247Mistaken for Strangers: James Buys Some Books

2nd September 2015:
Hiya!

I definitely read this chapter last night before I went to bed but decided to wait on the review until this morning. Which is fine, cause here I am, skimming over the chapter and appreciating it a second time around because it is quite a lovely chapter. And there is a lot more Anna and it’s not Anna reading, though it takes book in a bookstore…but it’s different and the conversation is different and I really liked the whole chapter.

So. Characterization. I love how you have Ginny here. You can definitely see how she sees James’ antics, and I love her shock when he says he wants to get a book, rather than a new broomstick or owl. Her obsession for Quidditch was also displayed well here. Her and Regan were entertaining to read, chatting about Quidditch and getting super excited about things.

Leanne was pretty entertaining here too. Maybe a little bit of a crush on James here? Hehe. I really liked how awkward, almost, she was about talking to him. I could totally picture it happening like that, with James not really picking up on it as much as he probably should. Although I am impressed with all these little facts James seems to remember about people. He asks Leanne about Ted and then later when he’s talking to Anna, he brings up something that she didn’t expect him to remember. It’s really interesting, how his brain works…

Anyways. I love how James catches Anna not reading. And how he still manages to startle her. And how she still calls him Jeremy. I laugh every time that I read that. It’s really bad that she doesn’t know the right name. And I love how she doesn’t question further into how much family he has at Hogwarts, because if she did, surely she’d figure out Jeremy is not the right name. Then again, I don’t know that she would. She’s such a different character with an attention span for things other than socialization (not saying that at all in a bad way).

Also found interesting the conversation they have about future job ideas. Anna being a spell creator is interesting. Like, I always assumed there’d be such a thing, but at the same time I didn’t put much thought into it because there always seemed to be plenty of spells around. But the idea of creating new ones, which could be potentially dangerous…interesting. And I also liked James idea of doing something with Muggle Ethics and the likes. It’s not something I’ve ever imagined for his character, yet in this case it fit quite well.

I also quite like the ending. How James goes towards WWW only for an explosion and children screaming to ensue. Obviously someone trusted Fred with something they shouldn’t have! (Or just left him unattended for a moment too long…)

And, speaking of Fred doing something…my favourite line this chapter is actually just the ending there:

Sighing, he wondered what Fred had managed to do this time. Whatever it was, James wanted nothing to do with it.

This was a lovely chapter! Can’t wait to see where you go with it next!

-Mikaela

Author's Response: Okay, Mikaela, it is absolutely criminal that I have put off responding to all of your WONDERFUL, INSPIRATIONAL reviews for so long. I am really, really sorry that you're such a lovely reviewer and loyal reader and I've procrastinated for so long! I honestly love rereading your reviews so it's been hard to motivate myself into responding to them and having them leave my inbox place. But I want you to know how much I've appreciated them, so I'm finally getting around to this now!

I'm glad you liked seeing Anna in this different setting! And of course she's never too far away from books, is she? :P The conversation here is pretty similar to how it goes throughout the rest of the story, honestly, as they get to know each other away from the philosophy and literature, so it's good that you're into it!

It's a relief that you liked Ginny here! I shy away from writing canon characters because I'm really worried about writing them OOC, but I basically tried to get her to stick to Quidditch, which seems to have worked! And Regan was a nice person for her to talk to, because they're similarly obsessed with it.

Oh James's brain, who could ever understand it? Even I, the author, have no idea how he holds his life together. At the same time, as you have picked up on, he's sometimes frighteningly oblivious to what's going on around him! But their conversation is definitely a bit awkward so I'm glad that came through. (Also, fun fact: Leanne Thomas is Dean's daughter, and her brother is named after Ted Tonks! That's just a fun little background tidbit.)

Anna is always so startled! That's something that really goes on throughout the fic and hopefully something that undergoes a slight transformation. Even when she's not reading a book, though, she's incredibly focused! Her brain is also a mysterious place, where she stores a ridiculous amount of information...but none of it relates to normal, day to day stuff, as far as I can tell! I'm glad you find her interesting in her differentness and not just weird!

So Anna becoming a spell creator is really interesting to me because I love the idea of how magic works/is created and I want to know more about it! Jobs in the Wizarding world generally intrigue me, because it seems like there are very few tracts to go down. I'm glad you think that James's aspirations are fitting though! I like how Anna has influenced him so much without really realizing it. :)

Fred creates havoc wherever he goes, even when he's not at Hogwarts! He's truly talented. I'm glad you liked that line! I always love seeing what sticks out to you, so thanks so much for including that.

The next chapter is finally in the queue, and I've finished writing the whole story, so hopefully I'll become better about updating it all. Thanks for sticking with me and my writing though! You're the absolute best. :)

--J


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Review #20, by Tonks1247With Sudden Joy: With Sudden Joy

28th August 2015:
Hello! This is Nymphie Tonks from the forums, swinging by for the BvB review battle!

I really enjoyed what you managed with this story. I wasn’t really sure what to expect, walking into a situation where the main character is an OC and a next gen OC at that, but you’ve really given me a good view into Henry’s character and his life at Hogwarts. I could definitely see his character in my head and the further I got into the story, the better of an understanding of his character I got.

Henry’s voice in this story is brilliant. He’s one of the more quiet types of people, enjoying watching others and getting ideas from others—like his running. He decides he wants to run, and as hard as he finds it is at first, he keeps going. He gets to the point where he’s running, and he’s not quite sure why he keeps running, other than it’s soothing. Also, as he goes on to talk about his garden, and how he appreciates working in the garden and tending to the plants…the way he described all the care he provided really gave his character a voice that was understandable and relatable. There were numerous times where I thought Henry could definitely be someone walking this earth, thinking and doing these things…it really was great!

Another thing that I think really brought his character to life was the career thing. He really wasn’t sure what he wanted to do, but figured since he’d thought again and again about healing, that maybe that was what he wanted to do. He didn’t really spend much more time thinking about and just sort of let it go. Until Lillian said something that caused McGonagall and Hagrid to suggest something that he really would enjoy. It was just a really sweet moment and I think more people around that age would appreciate some sort of guidance or suggestions as to what they would enjoy doing—with it being as personally thought out as this.

I did find one little things while I was reading…

“He tosses it across the table, and Henry nabs it before lands in the butter.” –I think you want the word ‘it’ between ‘before’ and ‘lands’

Despite that one small thing, I quite enjoyed this story. One of my favourite parts was Henry talking to Lillian, and how he wasn’t quite sure of her name, but she seemed to remember him well. It made me giggle just a little bit.

Really great job on this!
-Mikaela

Author's Response: Hi! Thank you for the review!

I guess I always forget to think about context when it comes to characters, haha. Like, the fact that people wouldn't be super excited by a Next Gen OC never really crossed my mind, even though it probably should have. I think I subconsciously tried to add in familiar faces and names-- Louis, Hagrid, McGonagall-- but that was pretty much it. So, I'm really glad that you still felt like you were able to connect to Henry! It's such a huge compliment that you think he could be a real person.

I really like your point about Henry's personality. I absolutely agree that he is the quiet type, but I also think you're totally right that he's also an observational person. It makes sense that a young person would draw a lot of ideas from the people he admires, and that some of those ideas, like running, would turn out to be really great, and that others, like Healing, might not be the best fit.

The career question is definitely one that resonates with me, and I'm sure that I'm not alone in sometimes wondering about what career I'll actually settle into. I've also definitely seen a lot of people who just assumed that they were going to go into a particular field when it seemed pretty clear to other people that it was just a phase. Then again, you never really know if it's going to be a phase until the end, right? Anyway, I definitely agree that having some guidance can be a savior. And I picture both McGonagall and Hagrid as such parental figures that I could easily imagine them encouraging Henry to take on this new job. I don't know if I originally intended Lillian to make the suggestion to McGonagall, or if it was more a type of situation where everyone could see that Henry was cut out for gamekeeping except Henry, but I think either interpretation works.

Thank you for pointing out that typo! I will certainly fix it. Thank you for leaving such a lovely, thoughtful review! I really appreciate it.


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Review #21, by Tonks1247Keep Calm and Carry On: A Guide to Keeping Calm and Apparating

24th August 2015:
Hiya J!

To start, thank you! I popped on because I had some time to read before bed and of course, seeing as this was updated, I knew what my reading for the night would be. And then to get into this chapter to see it’s dedicated to me? Like, that’s totally crazy! Especially because I’m just stopping by to leave a review for this story because I absolutely love the characters and the plot and just everything…Seriously. YOU are the best because this story is just wonderful!

That said, I absolutely loved this chapter. It’s one of my favourites so far, which if you could see the word document into which I copy and pasted my favourite lines? Well, it would be pretty obvious.

I love the comments that Lorcan makes, the ones he thinks in his head about the stuff going on around him…he’s seriously the type of person I could see myself spending a lot of time with. He’s got the same sort of sense of humour/sarcasm as me and just…he’d be a fun character to hang out with! I love how he’s not afraid to admit to where his insecurities are and comment about them. Some of my favourite moments included his ability to take out people while apparating, his ability to hold conversation with others, and his whole side-along apparating thing. Like, seriously. Lorcan is just great!

I also like this thing that’s not really a thing with Lorcan and Lily. It definitely adds a little different touch to the office situation, especially when Lorcan ends up flirting with Camille (if you really can call it flirting…) and Erick suggests he takes her on a fake date. I’m not sure if that idea is going to be taken further, but I quite enjoy how Lorcan is really bad in those situations and how he listens to see how Lily’s date went. (Also, with Lily having Celiac disease, I think it’s a good little piece of information. I like what it does for her character, with her likes in dating and such. It was for sure interesting!)

Plot wise, I like this ‘Order’ assembly meeting. And how the other party is the Hammers of Witchcraft. It was a really creative introduction to how Wizarding politics work and I think it opens the floor for tons of possibilities. I am eager to see how the campaign commences from here, with there being one big competitor for Branson in the Order (plus another person) and then the big election…you definitely have plenty of possibilities as to where to take this!

Before I get to my favourite lines, there were a couple things I noticed…

“She couldn’t share cups or bottles with anybody who eaten gluten in the past three hours, or–“ –I think you’re missing a word. Maybe ‘had’ between ‘who’ and ‘eaten’

“There were many tables arranged in a slightly wonky square in the centre of the table, and…” –I think the table just before the and there is supposed to be room? Or something other than table?

“He did like to make Branson’s a living hell, after all…” – again, maybe missing a word? I think you want ‘life’ between ‘Branson’s’ and ‘a’

This chapter looked really good other than those few things! It was quite the entertaining read and I can’t wait to see where you go from here!

Also, before I hit my favourite lines, I have ideas about whose in what house:

Erick –Slytherin; Branson-Gryffindor?; Lorcan-Hufflepuff; Lily-Ravenclaw?; Linda-Gryffindor; Bruce-Haven’t decided; Peter-Hufflepuff?

And I will do two favourite lines, despite the fact I loved quite a number more or them…

Do you wave to somebody you’re going to see in like two minutes? I guess I do, at least.

I got a pretty cool scar out of that ordeal, though, so it wasn’t a total loss.


Lovely chapter! Thanks for the dedication of the chapter and I’m looking forwards to a new chapter!

-Mikaela

Author's Response: Mikaela, I am the worst and it has taken me five whole months to respond to this great review! Thanks for your kind words and being such a wonderful person.

Of course I dedicated this to you! You're honestly such an inspiration for me to keep going with my story because I know that somebody else is paying attention to my characters. :) You're the best and I'm sorry again that I've been so remiss in replying to your reviews!!

Ahh I'm so glad you continue to enjoy the story! I'm always worried that I'm just writing to amuse myself and nobody else will think it's entertaining. Lorcan is a fun character and I don't want him to get old!

I totally get the appeal of hanging out with Lorcan! I would want to befriend him, as well. He's such a weirdo but in an endearing and lovable way, you know? And his apparating thing...I would tease him mercilessly about that! Full disclosure about how the apparating thing came to be: I thought the opening of the story was really funny with Lorcan spilling his coffee on himself, but then I realized it made no sense for him to be walking to work and not apparating. Thus the backstory of his complete incompetency was born! It's been such a defining part of the story and it was born out of a weird detail I had included.

Lorcan and Lily are such awkward ducks and it brings a weird dynamic to the office for sure! As seen with Camille, Lorcan is totally out of his depth in those situations, so you can probably see why he and Lily haven't really gone anywhere. And Erick is definitely more ruthless than Branson or Lorc, with his dating plot! Lorcan would probably blow the whole cover though. The Celiac detail was borne out of my own experiences with Celiac and wanting to educate people on it! I also thought it'd be interesting to see more about how stuff like that is dealt with in the Wizarding world.

The freedom of this system/plot is both wonderful and terrifying! There are a lot of obstacles between us and the election, and so many different ways it could go...also, credit to Katie (SunshineDaisies) for helping me with the names! This has been a team effort the whole way. :)

Thanks for pointing out those errors- I got excited and posted this chapter without looking it over super carefully. :P

Interesting House predictions! I'll leave it at that and let you see as the info slowly comes out.

Ahh you always choose lines that I particularly enjoyed writing! We're definitely on the same page here. It's always great to see what sticks out to you!

Thanks again for being such a loyal reader and all around great person! I appreciate your reviews so much. :)

--J


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Review #22, by Tonks1247Actions Speak Louder than Words: Blitz and Building: Rose and Scorpius POV

17th August 2015:
Hiya Beth!

I was just doing my final chapter check of the night (glancing at my currently reading stories to see if anyone had updated their stories), and I noticed this story had a new chapter. And while I should technically be going to bed, I couldn’t not read the chapter and then decided that I should also review it right away as I will have limited (if any) wifi until Friday.

Also, before jumping in here, I have to thank you for writing such an intense story, one that’s easy to fall into and binge read in one night. Like, I absolutely love what you have set up here and I love your characters and how they interact. I loved it the night I binge read it and I have been trying really hard to review EVERYTHING I read. I’m just happy I was able to stay focused and get all caught up on the chapters. I enjoy the read and leaving my melodramatic reactions afterwards. xD

With that said. On with the review.

This chapter was amazing. I love the attack and how Scorpius managed to hold his own with the thought of Rose in mind. I was feeling pretty nervous after he took that spell and then realized that there were Auror’s, but they were on the far side of the Death Eaters. I wasn’t sure what was going to happen and was praying that Rose wouldn’t get hurt and then Harry and Ron showed up and I about died of relief. I knew they were okay from that point.

As for what transpires after that? I loved the detail. I love how Scorpius has to explain what he knew and what he did. I will admit, for a teeny tiny second after I finished the last chapter, I was thinking this was some sort of drill for his S.N.A.K.E.s exam (surprise exams aren’t that out there….), but then realized how cruel that would be to him. And that the exam probably is in a more secure and structures location. And that I was being ridiculous. BUT. The fact that this did end up counting for his S.N.A.K.E.s is amazing though! It really does help take some of the pressure off him!

I also love how Harry and Healer Lawrence talk and work out the best healer position for Rose. I was thinking she was going to have to push off the decision, but the fact that everything she wants is combined into one position for her? Like, I can’t even put words to how I feel about it! I know what it’s like to have to choose (Darn Nursing School) so getting the best of all of it (well, best in terms of what she wants to do…not the injuries or anything…) really is amazing. I love that she gets the opportunity!

The only down side? She keeps putting off a piece of information to tell Harry. Or trying to remember what it is. Or anything about her case trial thing. It makes me just a little ball of anxiety. That, and this chapter ended pretty peacefully. Everyone is chatting and happy and thinking about the future. I’m concerned. Like, it’s really bad, but I know something bad is going to occur and just…I don’t know what. It makes me anxious!

This was a really, really excellent chapter. There were two small things I noticed:

“We’ll be able interrogate and prosecute the eight you caught.” –there should be a ‘to’ between able and ‘interrogate’
“Although in hospital, I slept better than I had in weeks, with Scorpius at my side.” –I think there should be a ‘the’ between ‘in’ and ‘hospital’

Besides those though, this chapter was great! It was a good read and gave a good combination of happy/relaxed and anxious/scary. Great job!

-Mikaela

Author's Response: Hi there Mikaela,

Are you trying to turn me into a puddle of goo? I mean - this review!!! I need a moment, here.

"Also, before jumping in here, I have to thank you for writing such an intense story, one that's easy to fall into and binge read in one night. Like, I absolutely love what you have set up here and I love your characters and how they interact. I loved it the night I binge read it and I have been trying really hard to review EVERYTHING I read. I'm just happy I was able to stay focused and get all caught up on the chapters. I enjoy the read and leaving my melodramatic reactions afterwards. xD"

This paragraph was totally awesome. Eeep! I'm so glad you binge read this! And I *adore* reading your reactions.

You're the second reader to suspect that this was a S.N.A.K.E. exam test. And truthfully, I never thought of that, but I was kind of along the same line of thinking - even if it was only after the fact.

Haha - yes - this solution works out the best for Rose (and Scorpius, for that matter). She's so ecstatic to have this new position.

Rose doesn't remember what she saw and ascertained from the medical files - but it will come back later on.

I will fix that typo - as far as the hospital one is concerned, I was trying to use the British phrasing - they don't always use a "the" in front of "hospital."

Thank you, again - I don't know if I'll ever be able to express my true gratitude for these reviews.

♥ Beth




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Review #23, by Tonks1247Keep Calm and Carry On: A Guide to St. Mungo's and Carrying On

17th August 2015:
Hiya!

Finally found a few moments to pop by, and I’m quite glad I did. Lorcan is such an entertaining character. He’s definitely one that I would get along with well because I tend to have the dry humour and sarcasm down to a T. I’m not quite as clumsy as he is…but that does add to his characterization. It makes him seem more real and more relatable. It also is sort of entertaining to count the number of unfortunate things that can occur to him in a day (in a totally not mean way….).

I also love how in this chapter, Lorcan talks a bit about his sibling as does Lily. It gives me a better feel for the sort of platform you have under these characters and it puts their characters in perspective. Maybe it’s just because I like people watching, and many times if you find out bits and pieces of their lives, it makes their behaviour more understandable.

Whatever the case, I really enjoyed the conversation there and all the talk about who else would run for Minister. I feel you did a really good job of pulling in how cold and just…methodical politics is. I will admit, I tend to duck and cover when politics is the topic of conversation because I don’t understand why it has to be so calculated. I mean, I do, but sometimes it’s just so mean… But. On topic. I feel you describe the behind the scenes well and I cannot wait to see where you take it next!

I am curious as to how the young man who looked vaguely familiar will reappear, because I have a feeling he will. Well, from the way it’s put, I’m fairly confident he will, but without knowing much more, I won’t put theories out…

Anyways. Fantastic job with this chapter! I quite enjoyed the read and the characters you’re presenting. And, as I finish up here, here are my two favourite lines from the chapter:

“Are platypuses–platypi? that sounds better…”

What is it with this office and eye rolling? Do I roll my eyes a lot? Is it contagious?


-Mikaela

Author's Response: Ugh Mikaela you're seriously the best. -insert :wub: emoticon here- This review is so lovely!

I'm glad you find Lorcan entertaining! He's definitely sarcastic and dry, almost painfully so. It's hard to keep his thoughts on track when writing because he just wants to make snarky observations all the time! To be honest, his clumsiness is based entirely on my own clumsiness. I embarrass myself through physical misfortune far, far too regularly. So I wanted to take that out on a character. I mean...portray that in a character...

Yay I also love doing that and learning more about people! Lysander has unquestionably impacted Lorcan-- as you can kinda tell from this chapter, he's quite the character! Outgoing, flirty, Gryffindor Lysander v snarky, clumsy, Ravenclaw Lorcan. And then you throw in Lorcan's parents! What a childhood they must have had...I haven't fleshed out Lily's family in the KCACO universe as much yet (although I know this James is very, very different from MFS!James) but that's something that will develop over the story!

I totally, 100% relate to what you mean about politics being mean! I also actually rather hate following politics and the personalities that go along with it. (Like Donald Trump right now.) But I also feel really sympathetic for the politicians themselves who are hoping to get stuff done. So I'm trying to balance that in here! I'm glad you liked it and hopefully the rest of the story will continue to interest you like that.

Aha! You may be onto something. ;) (I always really really love when readers pick up on random things I throw down! Great job!)

Seriously, Mikaela, without fail you pick out my favorite quotes from the chapter. It's kinda freaking me out at this point. But I'm glad you find it funny and not just weird/all over the place! :D

Thanks so much for another wonderful review!

--J


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Review #24, by Tonks1247This Bird Has Flown: a cynic and an idealist walk into a bar

15th August 2015:
Heya!

I was creeping around the forums earlier today and opened a bunch of links to stories I found as I went. I’ve been on a bit of an R&R kick for the past couple days so I decided to add some random stories to the list tonigh, and it just so happens I found the link to this story!

That said, I quite enjoyed this story! The style of it was a lot different than many of the stories I’ve read recently and it was really refreshing! It was rather dialogue heavy, but you managed the dialogue in a smooth fashion that made it easy to read. It also helps that your narration was so natural and so distinct as Scorpius. I mean, it’s third person point of view but the way the story read made it seem more personal. It sounded voiced from his character, or the view I got from his character, which was really, really lovely.

His voice also helped walk me through his night. It was easy to see him walking into this pub and taking a moment to try to figure out why all these gruff and eccentric men were as lively as they were. I could see his draw into the place and the need to sit and people watch, as one of the best things is people watching.

I love the interaction between Lucy and Scorpius as well. It’s almost got an edge of awkward to it, but at the same time, it doesn’t. Like, I don’t exactly know how to put words to how the conversation felt, but it was very fitting of those two characters and I feel like I got to know a lot about them based on how they spoke and what they said. It was pretty impressive, as I haven’t read much of Lucy’s character, but from what my head cannon is, you’ve written her entirely different. (Which is awesome, don’t get me wrong! The way you described her, I can definitely see it and it’s just as fitting as what I think of her, if that makes any sense at all.)

I also love how you describe the place where Lucy lives and how she doesn’t have rooms and just a ton of those little details. It really says something about her character and I can see where Scorpius’ fascination is. I also love how you leave the end sort of open, with Scorpius leaving her a note. It’s really intriguing.

There were two small things that I noticed:

“She crumbled up her piece of paper that she was so enthralled in minutes before.” –I think here, crumpled may work better than crumbled

“What of was anyone’s guess.” It could totally be a style thing, but I think ‘Of what’ works a little better than ‘what of’.

Overall though, I really enjoyed this story! It was different and it gave me a much different view of Lucy and of Scorpius. It was quite lovely!

And I will leave off with one of my favourite quotes from this story:

“I wanted to read two very specific books that didn’t exist, so I wrote them myself.”

-Mikaela

(OH! I also loved the chapter title! XD)

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Review #25, by Tonks1247Actions Speak Louder than Words: Bated Breath: Scorpius POV

14th August 2015:
Hiya!

Back for the FINAL chapter to finally get myself caught up! I also have finally passed my 300th review on the forums somewhere in this last spell of review dropping….quite the accomplishment I think! And as exciting as it all is, I’m also putting this in for BvB review fest!

So. I loved this chapter. And I know I’ve said it about other chapters, but I love this chapter in a different way than the others. This chapter was a moment in which we not only saw the strength of the love between Rose and Scorpius but Selenia just spoke out against one of her superiors and she really took charge of the situation. She was able to put her personal feelings and thoughts aside to focus on Rose as a patient. She refuted Healer Lawrence’s call about the potion, advocating for the sake of the baby, and then got Scorp to speak to her and calm her down. She then kicks everyone out of the room after Rose has woken up in order to give her time to rest. Like, dang. She really stepped up, outside of how even tempered and go with the flow that she is, and took charge of the situation. It was a good thing for her character and I really loved it.

Rose and Scorpius were really good in this chapter too. I like how Scorpius has kind of figured out that him and Rose need each other. Distancing himself did nothing but hurt the both of them, and that he really doesn’t want to be without her. I mean, it’s unfortunate that it took an event like this for him to realize he was looking at things all wrong, but I’m glad he’s finally figured it out. And that he’s by Rose’s side. I was beginning to miss the two of them xD

There is one small thing with this chapter, though. This sentence:

“But we may have to weigh the risks versus the rewards of administering it early.”

I am going to suggest, instead of using rewards, to use benefits. It may be the nursing part of my brain speaking, but I think it’s a better word to use as it’s generally used in the healthcare field and rewards just…I don’t know. It doesn’t sound quite as good in terms of using a potion.

Overall though, I really loved this chapter. It gave rise to some other character development and, of course, Scorp is going to be by Rose’s side now (Hopefully). It was a really lovely chapter and I’ll leave off with a line that I quite enjoyed:

Even though she’d been the one in mortal peril today, somehow it felt like I was the one that’d been saved.

Can’t wait for new chapters! :D
-Mikaela

Author's Response: Hi Mikaela!

That *is* quite an accomplishment - 300 reviews! I'm sorry I've taken so long to reply to this - I'm trying to get through all my unanswered reviews today.

Selenia is amazing - and she's coming in to her own, here. I definitely wanted to highlight that she's just as amazing a healer as Rose is. I think sometimes she gets overshadowed by Rose. And although it doesn't bother Selenia one bit, I wanted to make a point of including that in the story.

I'm also so happy that Rose and Scorpius are together. Yes, I know I'm the author of this story and I get to write everything that happens to them, but for some reason, I kind of feel like the story writes itself and things happen to them without my control. I know it sounds weird - haha!

Oh - thank you for that suggestion. I'm going to fix it right away. I rather enjoy having a medical consultant for this story! :D

Yes! I enjoyed that line too! I always knew the end of this chapter would be that line.

Thank you so much!

♥ Beth


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