Reading Reviews From Member: E S Lokahi
  
12 Reviews Found

Review #1, by E S LokahiAncient Ways: Chapter 1: Clothes and a Date

20th February 2008:
Wow. this is actually a pretty interesting story! Excellent! Im on to the next chapter.

Author's Response: Thanks and I hope you find the rest good as well.

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Review #2, by E S Lokahi:

20th February 2008:
This is an interesting POV of things... and sadly.. :( I DO wish Dumbledore had truly survived. *Sigh* excellent job love. Again, cheers ;)

Author's Response: Thanks=] I know my way of dumbledore surviving is really terrible, lol. IT actually makes me cringe reading it and how unlikely it is. But thank you=]

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Review #3, by E S LokahiThe Onward Journey: A New Day

18th February 2008:
awesome story. is this picking up in the same night as the second battle for hogwarts?

Author's Response: Yes it is. I'm glad you like the story! Thank you for your review.

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Review #4, by E S LokahiThe Other Story: Welcome to hogwarts!

15th February 2008:
Good start. Take some extra time to work proper grammar into the story, but other than that, it seems interesting thus far... cheers!

be sure to check out my latest chapter in "The Longbottom Rebellion" by E S Lokahi (me!)

again, Cheers mate.

Author's Response: Wow you wrote The Longbottom Rebellion, it in my favourates i love it! Its really interesting!

Thanks alot, I'm currently working on chapter two now, so it should be done soon and thanks for the tips.


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Review #5, by E S LokahiHelp us somebody..........anybody!: Where r v???????

15th February 2008:
You know. this is surprisingly well written. I'll be honest with you... going to the extent of bringing in zombies to the magical world of Harry Potter was odd enough... but not entirely as odd as zombies AND S.T.A.R.Z team, Umbrella Inc., etc.,.
... you did however, manage to capture my attention once reading. That's due paid to your writing skills. I've always thought that any plot would suffice for a well versed writer. Good job mate. Cheers.

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Review #6, by E S Lokahi:

14th February 2008:
I like th direction you're going with this, however. the entire piece is littered with grammatical errors ("to" that ought to be "too", incorrect usage of past and present tenses, etc).. do not be disheartened by that though :) your concept is good, as is your ability to write in first person... i would just have each of your chapters proof read (forums is a good place for that) and tighten up your chapters a little.. other than that, if i can sit through an entire chapter, it must have me turning pages (not literally, here). Good work overall, but see to the minor details! ;)

be sure to read my story "The Longbottom Rebellion" by E S Lokahi!
Cheers, mate.

Author's Response: Ahh thanks! I know I've had little errors like that all over the place and they annoy me so much so thats what I've mainly been doing over the last couple of weeks. Thanks for the critisisim, I needed it, and I'll be sure to read your story as soon as I can=]. Lorren x

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Review #7, by E S LokahiThe Why Game: The Why Game

9th February 2008:
very touching story. :) i enjoyed it thoroughly.

Author's Response: I'm so happy that you found it touching and that you enjoyed! Thank you so much for reviewing!

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Review #8, by E S LokahiWhen Worlds Collide: Running

8th February 2008:
You know, upon first reading this, I thought it was going to be another teenage-pregnancy fic through the eyes of a writer... but this.. this absolutely captures the real life essence of all the fears and uncertainties that come when with child at such an early age. I adore your plot, but I fancy your writing just as well. Marvelous job. :)

If you have some free time, please read and review my story, "The Longbottom Rebellion" by myself (E S Lokahi)... it's the only story I've written... not just on here. In my whole life. :) Any constructive criticism would be welcome, as I need all the help I can get when it comes to story writing.. :) Anyhow, again - wonderful work. :)
Cheers!

Author's Response: sweetness!!!!! Hah I'm so flattered!!! Thank you so so so very much! I will definitely check out your story. I must say though, the movie "Mom at 16" sparked the idea so partial credit goes to them. I just modified it and twisted into my own thing. Anyways, thanks again!~Jaymee

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Review #9, by E S LokahiHiding it all: Found

6th February 2008:
Has a good flow to it ;) You're on to something really good here. I'd like to read more from you!!

Author's Response: Thanks so much. I was always concerned about the flow of this, good to know it payed off to fix it so much. The new chapter is up, its just not approved, and its a bit to choppy and mixed up for my taste, but it has a suspenseful ending. Hope you enjoy it!

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Review #10, by E S LokahiThe White Orchid: The White Orchid

6th February 2008:
I liked it a lot. :) Good usage of words, although the sentences could use better structuring, but all in all it's a recommended read. You have great vision, keep at writing, itll better your skill.

be sure to critique my story "The Longbottom Rebellion"!! Any criticism is welcome, be it good or bad. :)

Keep up the good work!

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Review #11, by E S LokahiImpossible: Impossible

28th January 2008:
Well written. writing style gave it a hazy, dream-like state... A little confused as to who exactly the characters are in this story? Nevertheless, job well done mate. Cheers.

Author's Response: hey there... thank you so much for the review! you're my very first :)

with the whole name thing... i felt that if i put the names in there to much that it would lose it's creativeness so to say!

I hope that answers your question or at least somewhat but thank you so much!


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Review #12, by E S Lokahi:

28th January 2008:
Definitely a strange twist. however, open minds are exactly what the Doc calls for when writing a true tale. Disturbing, however interesting to say the least.

If at all interested in a banner for it, id be obliged to.

In exchange, I ask that you read and review my story, "The Longbottom Rebellion" by E S Lokahi. Also, there wouldn't be a need to credit me for it either. ;)

Author's Response: Thank I Would LOVE A Banner.

X


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