Reading Reviews From Member: zEthHPfrEaK
  
487 Reviews Found

Review #1, by zEthHPfrEaKAftershocks: St. Mungos

11th July 2011:
Talk about crazy good =). You pull me right into the moment.

"Ginny was always right."

I love you. Just by that sentence alone, you can feel the bond between the people.

And I think that, that just might be what you're really good at! Showing this amazing bond between characters in your stories. It's incredible.

"'Teddy, this is Victoire.'"

The beginning of a new love.

When I read that sentence, I thought... Well, you know in real life when something absolutely amazing happens, and you think "I never want to forget this." ? Well, that's how I felt when that part was there. =)

And your characterization of him was great! It was great that you made him have this excited air about him - it showed us he was a little kid :]

And Molly's greeting, Harry's inner dialogue in the beginning, Katie being a healer. All so perfect! It was a very nice fanfiction to read - different, but good. :] Anyways, have a good day! Great job!

Thanks again for posting!

Author's Response: You're my favorite reviewer, just so you know!

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Review #2, by zEthHPfrEaKAftershocks: It's Not Your Fault

11th July 2011:
So, this may sound like a rave review, but I'm just going to tell you how I feel.

I haven't been doing much pleasure reading lately, and I've also been feeling kind of incapable of feeling or attachment to anything. But this... This cut into my heart. (and not in a bad way.) It's not terribly dramatic or sweet, it's just - nice.

I feel as if, for once, I can completely open up and embrace this :).

I also felt like the kiss/electricity was a bit out of place for the very sad/post-war time (but that's just me... I don't know what others think of it), but I was also glad it was a soft kiss.

I remember why I loved to read so much =)

Thankyou.

Author's Response: And i remembered why i like to write so much. Thank YOU! This review just made my day. (:

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Review #3, by zEthHPfrEaKHow to Date My Best Friend: A Change of Plans

24th March 2011:
Aw, I really like this. Grayson is so sweet :). I like sweet guys.

And the sentences you come up with are amazing.

"Tag along. Great." teheheh :P

That was so GOOD.

I honestly would LOVE to read more. :D (If I can? *puppy eyes*) Grayson's character is so great. He's just... yummy. :D tehe.

I loved the part where Lily announced she had a date, and everyone was sort of like, "I'm so glad for you, Lils." with no real enthusiasm. Haha. I could envision it happening, it was like one of those "moments," where you can just feel the exactness. And it made sense for them to react like that too, which was great =D

Also, I really like the best-friend love story you have going. I feel like reading one of them right now. Because they're so nice and peaceful and sweet (which is my favorite :).

I'm Loving it so far! I honestly really like this story, and if you update I will read more :D

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Review #4, by zEthHPfrEaKDropkick: Never Say Never

23rd March 2011:
Whoa. Wow.

I'm really excited to read more of this.

I've been looking for a story with things like oppression, etc. (sort of like HP7, but not from the trio's view) so when I read the summary of this story my brain sort of went "whoo!" =)

I read the summary of the first chapter, and upon seeing the normalcy quote, I became more intrigued. "The underlying themes in this story will probably be meaningful/ make sense!"

I read the summary of the second chapter. It has a reference to Animal Farm. Now, while I have never read Animal Farm, I do intend on reading it soon, and I've been told about it's general theme & know a quote from it. I read that and went "Whoa! This will also be getting into politics (even if it is a bit, it is not clear to me yet)."

Suffice to say, my interest level in this story is through the roof. While I haven't (obviously) read the entire story yet, if it continue on like this, then: this is very rare in the fanfiction world. It's somewhere most people in the fanfiction universe don't venture to go.

It's very intelligent and intriguing. I was only looking for a good action story, but then as I read more it became the whole package - one that I definitely was not expecting. This came as a pleasurable surprise.

I really like how you are setting up the story. It seems like you have everything planned out - a timeline and history of the magic world's politics. (and it's relation to the muggle/real world, which is also very good)

One thing I can say you may want to do with this though, is: So far, the organizations, etc. that have been mentioned were never mentioned in the books. So it's a little unclear about the relation of the UMN to the Ministry of Magic. Is it a branch of the Ministry of Magic, or separate?

It feels so good & has such a great effect the way you wrote this chapter - it has this "these are the facts" feeling about it, but also this purposeful-ness/meaning (or at least, that's what I feel from it).

I just re-read your A/N. No wonder it has this feeling about it! Haha. =)

It also makes me feel suspense. If it wasn't mentioned in the summary, I would still be able to sense an almost-foreshadowing of oppression and rebellion. :)

I also like the semantics you chose. (like "annihilate, authorities, conference, the following text..." The last of which obviously isn't a word, but... :P) I don't mean specifically the topic they're talking about, but.. For example, if an average beginning high-school kid (from my town) were talking about a conference and organization had, they would use the word "meeting" instead. But instead you chose the word "conference" which, to me, would mean that they were paying closer attention to accuracy of terms, etc.

Overall I mean the semantics seem less casual-like. For clarification, I don't mean that "less casual-like" is always better, it's just that it seems as if you catered the words you are using in order to set the tone of this story. It may be simply a result of habit from your university class, but if not: YAY! :D

If it isn't (a.k.a, if it is purposefully this way with the words) - I'm going to give my theories on the narrator: a. This is a news article. (?) b. The person is educated/ even when telling a story to a causal friend speaks like that c. They matured because of emotional hardships (this one doesn't make much sense, but it came to mind) d. They are in university. And take a international peace and conflict resolution and international politics class. :P tehe.

Okay, this review is getting extremely long and I have to go to bed :P.

But this story is EXTREMELY intriguing and I can't wait to read more. Your writing is quite nice =) I've been really wanting to read a "oppression and rebellion" fic for a few weeks now, so this just looks great so far! woot! :)

Have a good night!

Author's Response: I am so sorry it has taken me so long to reply to your review!!! Your awesome review, by the way. Long reviews rock my stripy purple and grey socks.

And yeah, I have been looking for stories about oppression and politics and that sort of thing, but it is soo hard. Or even just action stories. (if you like those, have a look at the Octane Generation by Over the Rainbomb. It is in my favourites).

I am also super glad that my summary did what it was supposed to do. Haha. I spend more time working out summaries than actually writing the damn chapters.

Animal Farm is a great book. Such an easy read, but the actual meaning is what you are supposed to getting. Best set work I ever did. George Orwell seriously inspires me. To quote him, "By the age of 40, ever man has the face they deserve". I totally agree with that; I saw a woman whose wrinkles were in a frown shape even when she smiled. Scary.

But back on track, my story will most certainly have politics in in. Not so much that people want to die, but enough that it is realistic. Or as realistic as a magical world can be...

Initially I had planned a 40+ chapter story, so I have decided to split that into 3 parts. This is part one, which is going to serve as pretty much the start of a war/revolution/thingamabob. So hopefully it will continue with the same themes as my first chapters. Speaking of which, my next chapter is in the queue :-)

Action stories are my favourite. But not many people write them, and of the ones who do a lot of them suck and a lot of them are too much lovey-dovey crap for me to handle. Haha. And I attempted to write a lovey-dovey story (Shell Cottage) which I think I have failed in. Largely. Haha. Couldn't resist putting some sort of action into it...

But yes, action will for sure be a big part in this story.

As far as my mind could figure it out, the wizarding world would have similar structures to the muggle world what with order and politics. And with that comes international issues, thus the birth of the UMN. Which is a magical version of the UN. It has no affiliation to the Ministry what so ever. Like they would have their own delegates, just like Australia would have theirs.

It is an organisation comprising of representatives for every nationality of wizards and witches, and magical creature delegates. More about that will be introduced in not the chapter in the queue, but the one after. And why it wasn't mentioned in the books will also be addressed. I have it all covered (hopefully).

I kinda wrote the first chapter the same way I would write a paper for Conflict resolution and human rights studies at university. Made me feel smart :-) But I did use a lot of words from text books I have read. I wanted it to be like a read introduction chapter to a real text book that Victoire would write.

Thank you soo much for your review. It freaking rocks!

-x-


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Review #5, by zEthHPfrEaKMore than a Death Eater: More than a Death Eater

13th December 2010:
I don't have much to say, but... Brilliant.

I love Regulas so much. He's my favorite character from all the Harry Potter books. He was so pivotal and brilliant.

This was great - the emotion was coursing through me. And the scene at the end with Sirius was very well done.

Amazing.

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Review #6, by zEthHPfrEaKPull Me Away: Pull Me Away

10th November 2010:
So sad :(.

I think you conveyed the emotions really well, and the entire idea (the plot, I guess you could say) was really good. I liked this story, a lot.

+ I must say: your author note at the end made me laugh out loud! (despite my sorrowful demeanor after reading the story)

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Review #7, by zEthHPfrEaKPerfection: Sullen Girl

10th November 2010:
This chapter made my heart break. =(

In the beginning, by the Great Hall scene it seemed like I felt what she felt (or, what I gather that she felt). To me, I felt this: guilty that Bulstrode was expelled, thankful that Draco wasn't being a twat. He was actually being kind of nice (:.

I think it was interesting, and very smart, to kind of show us just how strong he can be. Like he has all this strength and power, but would never use it to harm Hermione - like Bulstrode did. And I thought it was so cool that he was sort of staring down into his cereal during the meal.

I think it was good and realistic that Bulstrode was expelled - as, I guess, that is what would really happen. A lot of times fanfictions overlook this, so I thought it was good that you didn't (:.

The scene in the common room actually really reminds me of someone I know. I thought it was good that Ron was wondering why Bulstrode did the Imperious Curse on Malfoy - it made sense and showed the keen side of Ron that a lot of fanfiction writers seem to leave out or forget. :)

"No, no Hermione you're not. We are around you all the time. And you're not. Your way too thin, you have bags under your eyes, you're hair looks dead, and don't think I don't notice you in class with your eyes glazed over. You used to listen intently; you used to be awake and fun. You're hardly even our friend anymore. Now you're just a zombie!"

That quote was so cutting.

Also, the ending with all the negative thoughts - just brilliant. It almost reminds me of suffocation somehow. My favorite parts of this chapter was the beginning (because Malfoy seems almost sweet), and the ending (because of you're great description and the suffocating feeling). Not that I like felling suffocated (never been, yay!), it's just that it was so... overwhelming.

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Review #8, by zEthHPfrEaKHalfway To Infinity: Prologue

7th November 2010:
Absolutely captivating. From the first paragraph you drew me in. Heck, from the first sentence you drew me in! This is absolutely amazing. You conveyed the emotion, conviction, and rebellion all EXTREMELY well =).

This seems to show us what the story's feel will be like right from the beginning, and I like that. But I'm to excited to read the next chapter, so I'm afraid this review is going to end here =p. Love it so far! :-)

Author's Response: Thanks so much for the review!
Eponine


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Review #9, by zEthHPfrEaKTo Walk With The Marauders: Prologue

3rd November 2010:
Wow, this is very impressive! It's a very nice touch that this narrator is a sort of isolated. That's what initially attracted me to this story - I've been feeling for one where the main character is an introvert, so I'm very glad that I've found this :).

I must say, I really liked this portion of the chapter: "It was for this reason that I sat nervously by the wireless years later, waiting for news of them: waiting for news of He Who Must Not Be Named. It was there, by the old squeaking machine, where I learnt of..." I could practically feel the moments, and restless waiting, that the narrator went through during those times. Those lines (and the list that followed) was very nicely put. Great job!

But something that I had a fleeting thought of when I was reading this was the 2-4th paragraphs. It may just be me, so don't worry too much of it, but I think it would be nice if those paragraphs were more compact? I guess to me, I like to know some back story, but normally a small amount unless it's relevant or developmental. Does that make any sense? Haha. But as I said before, this may just be a opinion only I have, so it may be fine :).

Also, I liked how you started and ended with the same theme. It showed us that you're good at giving closure to actual stories, while giving closure to the prologue. It was good =).

Good job! I like this story so far. =)

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Review #10, by zEthHPfrEaKPerfection: Jazzy Ballad

22nd August 2010:
aw, this chapter was really cute. in a bittersweet sort of way =/.

I'm glad that your character of Draco is Draco-ish (e.g. spiteful, harsh, etc.), but also shows his moral good side :). Very glad. This chapter definitely got me wanting to read very much more. :) Great work! I love it!

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Review #11, by zEthHPfrEaKThis Longing: Two Sides

21st August 2010:
I'm really glad that you have this in 3rd person/showed us some of Tiberius Grimm's thought. I think mostly because of how much it's interested me that Grimm is already seeming to like her - it's cute, and probably my favorite thing so far. :D

Also, Minerva's manner that she has herself/personality is very nice. I think I'm beginning to like stories with a sort of restrained (if that's the right word) person in them. I like it a lot :). How she's sort of aloof? Very nice :)

I'll be reading more soon! I really liked it ;)

Author's Response: Thank you very much for reading and reviewing! It's wonderful that you like Grimm and being able to see inside of his head. I could never choose between having he or Minerva narrate, so I went with both in order to get both sides and see how similar/dissimilar they really are in their thoughts. :D

I hope that you enjoy the rest of the story as well!


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Review #12, by zEthHPfrEaKYou Hate Me: A Missed Opportunity

2nd July 2010:
Hi. I have to tell you that I cannot even express in words how grateful I am that you updated. I think this story is utterly amazing even though I've been here for years. I'll admit that I normally gush over stories, but this time it's absolutely true. Your story is amazing. Even though I am using full-stops.

This was one of the stories that even though I sort of thought it wouldn't be continued, I'd go back every now and again when I wanted to read a Really Really good quality story, and I'd read it. So don't worry if you have an overly excessive about of views/hits without enough review. People were probably just re-reading your awesome writing skills. Because we can't get enough of it.

Your writing is absolutely amazing at swaying people's emotions - it's like your strong point. I love it.

So once again, thank you so much for updating. =)

The fact that Piper was so honestly scared of Sirius added a great touch. I could envision it, and feel it also. I could envision and feel the absolute paralysis, her fear, Sirius probably feeling disgusted with himself for making her feel like that. It made sense for their characters, and it added to the story.

It is good that Piper has regained her strength of sorts. But it is also sad a little because of the circumstances.

In terms of her accepting Alexander's request: even though there was an explanation of her thoughts before she sent the letter, I had an very, very small feeling that it was just a little out of character for her to make up her mind (even if it was just for the moment) to marry him. It seemed like before, her ultimate no-no was marrying Alexander.

Unless she was so numbed to everything that marrying him didn't seem so bad? I'm not sure. I guess that Piper was a little irrational about some things, but others - such as this - she's very cautious about. Though, I just thought I'd tell you that it wasn't terrible or even distracting OOC-ness.

Unless she decided that because she thought her family would look after her after she married McClure if he did anything... bad.? Then that would actually make complete sense, and I would say then that it was actually not OOC at all, but actually very in character.

I loved your foreshadowing at the end of the chapter about her accepting McClure's request. It was a great finish to that portion.

And as you always have in your writing, I loved your puns and jokes. They really add a nice humor and keep the story upbeat :). I absolutely love your jokes. I find that great writers are really good at jokes. Tell me your ways, Oh Wise One?

Your grammar, plot, characters, and literal writing - is all excellent. Your writing is excellent :) You are an excellent writer. I just thought I'd tell you that.

- zEthHPfrEaK

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Review #13, by zEthHPfrEaKPerfection: On The Bound

19th June 2010:
I just had to tell you: your ending is absolute genius! "I have your mangy cat. Fifth floor." Wow. It's one of those things that you never think of but it works so well! I really liked that, so kudos on that =D

Overall nice chapter, I'm glad you updated! And I hope to read more soon :D

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Review #14, by zEthHPfrEaKNever Afraid - Never Brave: Never Afraid - Never Brave

10th May 2010:
Wow - this is really good. And surprising. Definitely surprising :) The idea of this is really unique and interesting and it's cool you posted it!

Also I loved the beginning and ending quotes, they were thought provoking and overall just great =)

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Review #15, by zEthHPfrEaKA Dragon's Love: Introduction

5th April 2010:
Hi! :) This looks incredibly interesting and I'm really looking forward to continue reading it! It's so catchy and original =) It's has really caught my attention - it looks like one of those one-of-a-kinds and I could just feel the suspense already. :)

Your descriptions are especially great! The way you describe things bring it out perfecting in my mind - I can just see how cold it is, sense that almost-fragile-ness about her. It's great =). Even there emotions - normally I'd understand and relate one character's emotions but not the other, thought here... It's like I'm relating to them both! Wow.

However, when I was reading it, it was a little confusing about what happened with "she made me do it" part. I mean, I understood that the girl did something bad because she didn't/was forced to or something, and Draco was mad... But the "made" part, is really what I needed clarification for, I guess.

Perhaps a hint as to whether it was making by, a type of possession where you have no control, if it was by literal force, a major threat, etc. That would have cleared a bunch of questions in our minds and let the emotions/feeling of her character be even more clear than it already was! =) (Though your description of her emotions were clear, definitely. :] But having that cleared up would sort of... break down a small barrier that could stop it from totally engulfing us, I guess you could say. But with that out of the way it would be even MORE amazing! =) )

This is really interesting and I'm honestly looking forward to reading more! I can see this being one of my favorite stories! (not just on the literal list, but in my mind become one of the better ones) So it's going pretty good! I really like it so far!

zEthHPfrEaK

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Review #16, by zEthHPfrEaKUnseen Tears: Unseen Tears

2nd April 2010:
this

is so sad. it is written beautifully - the small laughter. the unseemingly relationship. It was great. :)

Especially her not caring that James and Lily were dead, but simply instead that their deaths hurt Sirius. That was so believable, understandable, and sad. I really liked this story! It's great :) and very unique - I loved it!

By the way, I loved the beginning - it really caught my attention and made me interested ;).

Author's Response: Heyy, thanks so mch for the review! I'm really chuffed you'd say that. I sort of always loved the idea Sirius loved Bella really, and vice versa, and this story was sort of born from that idea. I didn't know where it would go, but I'm glad you liked it.

Thanks again! :) love emelle x


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Review #17, by zEthHPfrEaKHogwarts Sanitarium: Inconvenient Plans

28th March 2010:
Ah! This is absolutely HILARIOUS! =D

Harry is so funny! This story has absolutely great humor! And it's a quality read to, which is a plus :)

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Review #18, by zEthHPfrEaKHogwarts Sanitarium: Fury of the Father

28th March 2010:
This is so amazing it's just - unexplainable! The plot and expressions are amazing! The people - everything. I'm just... wowed! like - woah.

even his experiences - it was especially realistic how in this chapter Harry was sort of falling back! :) It was absolutely amazing, and just added a lot to the story! I absolutely love it!

[ really glad I decided to read this :]

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Review #19, by zEthHPfrEaKMiss Invisible: Chapter 3 First Sight

2nd January 2010:
=D I absolutely LOVE the ending! I was, literally, laughing out loud :). There are so many good lines there, I can't decide which one to quote!

"NEVILLE!! How good to see you! Dashing day, is it not?"

"Now Neville, why have you not introduced us to our young guest? Shame shame; do come in, why don't you."

James was blind, or was just trying to make the girl feel better. She was hiding behind Neville and was looking absolutely terrified. When James flailed his arms.

But then again, maybe I am just over thinking it, maybe she is just afraid of James and his hair...

So I decided to quote all of it. yes. all of it. practically copied and pasted the entire thing :p.

This is really an awesome story so far! The characterization seems pretty good -- even in the minor characters. :) They're really well developed and everything each person does just screams their character's personality... if the makes sense. It's written really well, and the characters are consistent, which is incredibly awesome :D

Albus is really nice to! I feel like I already know him from just the little bit in his POV. And having him just sort of want to protect C.J. is the perfect set-up for their relationship, to :). It seems like it's going to flow very nicely from acquaintances to friends for them :)

James is especially captivating. He incredibly funny :) His humor seems to be more boisterous than Albus', but I find it fitting. He's so outgoing I can't help but love him. =)

C.J., I think, you're doing rather well with! It's really an add-on that she's sort of suspicious of Neville, and incredibly real. Most of her reactions and instincts -- flinching away from touch, not sitting to close to someone, distrust -- they're really fitting.

However, I believe there was one small contradiction somewhere. At one point, when Neville first comes to her house, it says that she hadn't seen herself in a mirror in a long time, but... somewhere else it said that she goes to shower, etc. when her parents are out? It's really a minor thing, but I just though I should tell you. :)

I think you're really good at setting up for whatever happens next and building up to the next scene! It's really a good climaxing =). I makes me anxious to read the next chapter, even though there isn't any official "suspense" going on. Which is cool. very cool :)

So, overall, it's going pretty well!

Author's Response: Haha glad you like the story so far...

This is one of my all time favorites to write and I am glad that you think I am doing a good job with the characters. I have had these chapters written for a while even before I posted them, just to make sure I got the characters right and realistic. It was harder than I had orginally thought, but the hard work payed off!

That is a good point I shall have to go over that part and edit it... And I am really glad you think there is suspence I didnt even try to have some but it just kind of worked out that way, so glad you see it!

So glad you like the story keep reviewing, it is the one thing that authors LOVE! SO keep the feed back coming.

If you would like to know more about the story or just want to bug me about something in the story, or even giving me ideas you should visit my authors page and I will most def. respond! I would really like more questions and another question would make my day! Dont forget to fav this story if you like it! Keep the reviews coming... it is reviews like this and awsome readers that when I dont feel like writing make me want to stop everything I am doing and put another chapter up, so thanks for reminding me that I need to post another chapter! ...Glad you like the story you just made my day! Thanks!
~Ginny


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Review #20, by zEthHPfrEaKThe Beast In Me: Wonderful. Just. Wonderful.

2nd January 2010:
Teddy is great :). and cute, but hey, who asked? :p.

This is really a nice story! I really love your characters! (even though we only really know Teddy and Axil =/ ) They're really captivating, and sort of have that "I dunno why, but I just really like this person!" feel to them :).

However, concerning your characters, the only thing I'd say in critique is this: maybe showing us a bit more of the minor characters would be good? that would be really awesome :). Maybe have Axil make another friend along the way, or show us more of Teddy's? Perhaps a teacher, or maybe Axil's sisters? You seem to be doing pretty well with Gabriel so far, though :)

But other than that, it's great! I really like the story so far! There's also a nice flow to it, so that's great.

and, also, perhaps making the chapters a bit longer would be cool. Of course, it isn't necessary, but personally I find the story more constant, and it almost seems to move quicker with longer chapters ;)

awesome. :D I made the list! That's so cool haha.

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Review #21, by zEthHPfrEaKThe Beast In Me: Girl With the Mutated Eyes

25th December 2009:
omwoah I'm totally hooked! I like it already -- and I really like (the rare ones that there are) Teddy/OC fanfics. I really like it!

You seems to be really good at characterizations! I can see it already ;) And that smooth "at your service," totally made me feel happy inside.

The beginning was very nice! It was a good introduction. As in, it wasn't so long to bore us, though it was long enough to give us something to go on ;). And it didn't feel like the usual biography complete with weight and family history, so that's a plus!

The ending of this chapter has definitely intrigued me! Even though it was sort of hinted in the summary that Axil was going to sort of be a magical creature, it still keeps me interested and left me hooked ;)

I really like it so far and I hope to read more soon!

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Review #22, by zEthHPfrEaKNobody Wants a Street Rat!: Welcome Home, Snitch

14th November 2009:
=/. This was... Really, really good :). An original idea, I couldn't have asked for anything better! It has a nice plot so far, and your character development seems good! Especially with Petunia and Vernon -- you did a nice job of keeping them in character! :D

Personally, I love how you/Harry chose the name "snitch." Mostly because it means stealing and stuff, PLUS it's likely, because of quidditch and stuff. So. Yeah. Awesomeness.

Pretty much this entire thing is awesome :D

Though, the only thing I'd say is... Are you continuing this story? I really hope you do. It's loads good already, and that was only the first chapter! It seems as if it's going to continue being really awesome, even better than this one! I can see this progressing really well, so imagine how great it would be if it was continued? I can see myself getting hooked to this :).

Anyways, that's pretty much it! I'm lovin' it so far! I really hope that you continue!

One word: Nice. :D

zEthHPfrEaK

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Review #23, by zEthHPfrEaKCranberries: This Girl

27th October 2009:
Hey! This is a great story - it's absolutely awesome ;) I really like the relationship between Ami's brother and her. :D It's great. I actually don't have a big brother, either, but I bet it's amazing :). I mean, they seem like they're made of awesome :)

I really like your summary! I think it's really interesting! It really makes me want to know what's going to happen once she gets to Hogwarts :D.

However, the only thing I'd say in critique to your summary is that the end of the first sentence is a bit confusing. I think it's a grammar error? Maybe a run-on sentence or something *shrugs*

In the actual story the flow seems pretty good! But something that would improve it is if you proof read it once again, or maybe send it to a beta reader. :) You have to careful about grammar errors; especially if it's one that can have two meanings, or that my confuse the reader. But other than that, it looks like there's no notable disturbances in the flow. It's looking good! =D

It's seems like your characters are nice and defined :). It looks like you have a good idea in your head of what they're like! However, I'd say (this is just me, though -- I may be wrong) that you might be having a bit of trouble conveying what their personalities are like to the readers? I'm not 100% sure if this works, but I think that if you pretend you're the one person individually, and have her past, thoughts, feelings, etc., and then think of what you'd say in the situation, it would make it easier to show us her character... Does that make sense?

As in, think of them as individuals, not as groups. Thinking of them as groups would cause your idea of them to become less person-specific... Do you know what I mean? Basically, if you think of them in groups, you'll be forced to broaden whatever their preference/habit/etc. is. This would be the effect of thinking of characters in groups: someone in your story asks a question. Three of the people in the room answer with "Ok."

That's because we're categorizing them. But if we always think of them individually, then it'd come out like this: someone in your story asks a question. One says, "Uh huh, sure," another says, "Whatever," and the lasts goes, "All right." That's pretty much what I mean. :) If something doesn't make sense then completely disregard it, because it's sort of complicated. :p

Anyways, I just thought I'd say -- by all those characterization suggestions, I don't mean that your characters are bad. I just think that you have amazing personalities in your head, so I want them to end up as great as possible. :) I can't wait until we get to see them interact with each other! I think that if you play your cards right, and take careful steps to convey their characters to the readers, they'll be awesome :D

I can't wait to see how the story and plot progresses - it's going to be cool :D. I'm really excited for the part of the story where she goes to Hogwarts! I don't actually remember ever reading a transfer fic where the person is *dun dun dun* made fun of! *gasp* heh. :) It's going to be really interesting!

Liking the story so far! :) And I hope to read more soon! :D

zEthHPfrEaK

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Review #24, by zEthHPfrEaKBecoming The Bull: An Unsettling Truth

4th October 2009:
Uh oh...

Wow, that was a shocker!

I really liked the beginning dream - it was a great transition and follow-up from the last chapter. Antonio is awesome. and kinda cute :p (even though we don't really know him yet :p)

The last chapter was great! The insight on Regulus' life was really awesome. It was good that you explained to us his insight/conception of things. :D Great chapter! I really liked it :D

Author's Response: Hahah, Oh my goodness I'm glad I'm not the only one! LOL I think Antonio is gorgeous and even I don't know what he looks like hahah ;P You and me need to stick together XD I'm very happy you like where this is going, I hope you are really enjoying yourself, love! thx for reviewing!

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Review #25, by zEthHPfrEaKTrapped.: Blind

4th October 2009:
Hehe, lol. This was super funny! =) I love the end. I wonder what the party's going to be like?

Hm... what will Regulus think? I have to admit - I have no idea.

I really like the plot so far - it's awesome. :D Great job on this chapter!

Author's Response: The party's going to be awesome with fun times and. I really don't know haha. Why don't you find out? Thanks for the review, as always!
~serenade


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