Reading Reviews From Member: rozen_maiden
193 Reviews Found

Review #1, by rozen_maidenTraitorous Hearts: The Stolen Truth

27th January 2014:
Okay ... *attempts to breathe normally again* So I quickly rushed over here to read this chapter when I saw your reply on your MTA page (I'm Mahalia on the forums, btw :)). For one, I couldn't believe I missed the update; and two, I didn't want to read the spoilers and ruin anything... All I can say is I'm so glad I didn't read those spoilers now - this chapter was full of answers and questions (so many questions!!). I'm unsure where to begin right now.
Firstly, I am amazed at how seamlessly and beautifully Astoria and Draco's relationship is going. There is just the right amount of tension, unease, and distrust between them both - and yet, I feel something more. At the beginning of the chapter, Draco seems to have a very firm opinion on who Astoria is and who he expects her to be, but, midway, it changes, and Merlin was it written well. The realisation he had about how young she is, and how innocent she looked - yet not at the same time - really hit home, and expanded on her character gorgeously. It was lovely to see her in a different light from the point of view of another character.
And Draco himself! I have no idea where to begin - he is perfectly canon. Smart, clever, sharp, bitter, cold and yet ... there is a bit of human left in him, I feel, and I am desperate to see if I'm right! The big deciding factor for me will be how he reacts to what he has seen in Astoria's mind - I am very, very excited for the next chapter.
And your writing. I don't know what I can say to you that I haven't already said. But I will leave you with this:
"Draco felt as if there were some invisible wishbone hovering between them, clutched by each in an iron grasp. Now all that awaited was to see in whose favour the lot would fall."
What a gorgeous metaphor. I am in awe. Well done on (yet again) another gorgeous chapter! I'm going to go finish reading your MTA answer now! :)
- Mahalia

Author's Response: Mahalia!

First off, thank you for the MTA questions. They were a lot of fun to answer, and really brightened my day. :D

I...*gurgle of happiness*...I just cannot possibly explain how encouraging it is to get reviews like this. I mean, obviously it's nice to read all the wonderfully kind things you're saying, but it also really helps me to know what's coming across in the story. Like, that Draco's slowly changing attitude is coming across? Wonderful! Hooray! It really helps so much to know that, because it keeps me from being redundant later and feeling like I have to say, "After much consideration, if Draco were honest with himself, he had to admit that his opinion had changed," or something, and end up beating people over the head with unnecessary explanations to make absolutely sure that important things are clear.

I think...this feeling inside? This must be what people are always referring to when they say, "SQUEE!" I'm pretty sure this is it. I love Draco. He's one of my favorite characters, so the fact that you think he still seems canon even as I'm sort of bending that along to my plot is THE BEST!!! I've really wanted to keep him who he was in the books, and just point out all the things that *could* have been, that we don't know about one way or the other. He's got a long way to go, but I'm glad that, under all his Death Eater-ness, he's still coming across as a little bit human.

I, too, am SO excited for the next chapter. If it all falls out as I have planned, in regards to what's included, it's going to be a VERY BIG DEAL, plot-wise. Hopefully I can pull it off.

And thank you so so so much! I love hearing favorite quotes, and I'm so glad that you liked that one.

As far as the spoilers in my MTA, I know there were some from Chapter 4. I wasn't sure about 5, but I thought I'd label it, because better safe than sorry.

I know I'm saying thank you a lot, but you deserve it many times over. I appreciate your reviews and the thought you put into them so much. Thanks (again)! You're the best!


 Report Review

Review #2, by rozen_maidenWarfare: 7 September, 2022

26th January 2014:
This was a lovely chapter to continue on from the development you explored in the last two. The interactions between Penelope and James were great to read, and set really ground foundations for their future interactions. I'm excited to see what Penelope has up her sleeve - she seems so clever, so I can only imagine it will be interesting.
Update soon brain twin, because I'm loving the characters and the read so far! :)

Author's Response: Brain twin!

I'm glad you liked it! Working hard on editing the next chapter. Skype you soon! :)


 Report Review

Review #3, by rozen_maidenWarfare: 1 September, 2022

22nd January 2014:
You know, I always thought that I was a little 'Claw groupie, but not I've read the Lions, I think I've changed my mind. And I have to say, I'm one of those girls - Ralph got me. Reading any dialogue or actions with him, I honestly didn't feel as though I was reading Ralph, but RalphandHisBroom. They are one. Like a pet or a lover. My new OTP hehe.
And I love James! I thought that he would be a bit of a bigot - because, let's face it - it's "James Potter". He has a lot to live up to. But, he was surprisingly tolerable. I enjoyed his immaturity and relationship with all his friends, and I'm looking forward to seeing more of their interactions in the future. They have real potential to be very amusing and very deep characters.
Also, before I forget, one slip up: That reminds me of last year when we put that Jelly Legs Jinx on Michael Donahue last year while he was taking a snooze in Charms. (You said last year twice).

Anyway, I really enjoyed reading this, my dear! I'm keen for the next chapter, and more of these characters. They are working beautifully at the moment. Awesome job, brain twin!

Author's Response: Brain ttwwwinnn!

Thank you so much for saying that! I was so worried that their personalities weren't as good as the 'Claws. I felt like they were much flatter, but I trust your judgement!

Ah, you've fallen for the infamous heart throb of Hogwarts, eh? Raphaelo Wood! HA Your OTP. They are 'Rambus'? 'Naphaelo'? LOL That's perfect!

I wanted to really break the mold on what I've read about next gen James. I didn't want him to be all superior to everything and everyone, but I did want him to be a sort of leader.

Trust me, they are going to get REAL DEEP later XD

OH SNAP. I will get to that right away! Silly me :P

Thank you for the review brain twin! Till next chapter!


 Report Review

Review #4, by rozen_maidenPicking Up the Pieces: Surrender

16th December 2013:
You suck, woman! That's all I'm going to say... obviously I'll have to wait for my squee moment *pouts* However, there was a delicious amount of Anders, so ;)
I've already told you - loved the interrogation scene, loved the hunting scene, loving the Anders/Draco love/hate thing (Dranders?). Can't wait for more :)
Also, I think we are now on completely, completely different timezones, so here's my email if you want to talk! kittieth at hotmail dot com
If not, back in a month so I'll surely catch you...maybe...sometime...
No Irish man for you yet, brain twin, but I'm on the lookout!

Author's Response: Oh you and farm girl with your pouting LOL. Don't worry I've just relocated the scene and it will be appearing in the next chapter :)

Haha! DRANDERS lol I love it!

Ah I can't wit for your return and I will definitely email you soon! Miss you brain twin!

 Report Review

Review #5, by rozen_maidenWarfare: 1 September, 2022

14th December 2013:
Hey, you're lucky I stalk - er, observe (somehow that sounds worse) - you because since you're lame and deleted your forum account I would never have seen this. Actually, I went on your page because I had a feeling that you might of uploaded this story, and here it is! Yay! And Penelope! Double yay! And the chapter image is gorgeous! Yayayay!
Unfortunately I cant leave a long review because Im so off my feet over here. Literally have only had time to read the chapter. But I love the characters already. Especially Penelope. She's so... *cringe* ...sweet. No, she really is though. I love all the tiny details you have included in her personality, like her loving the feel of her jumper, that she has a 'thinking' face, and her competitiveness! I love a little competition, and I think it makes great characters :P I cant wait to see it blossom in full.
Anyway, I have to go. Hopefully I catch you on Skype soon, and all in all a wonderful chapter and beginning. Personally, I'm a bit of a Claws fan in this already but Im keen to see the lives of the Lions :D


Lol I didn't delete it willingly! It was snatched from me! I had NO IDEA you were able to get on Skype, otherwise I would be on more!

I'm so happy you love my characters! I'm working on making them really real and relatable. And I'm glad you think Sweets is sweet :) Hahaha. And Penelope and competition... well... you'll see. A bit mental, that one.

I favor the Claws myself, but the Lions are always fun to write as well! Especially Liam :) So happy to see that you're still sta-- uh, OBSERVING my stuff, or else there would be no way I could tell you about it :( I hope you're having fun on your vacation as well! Hope to see you back soon :)

-Evil Brain Twin

 Report Review

Review #6, by rozen_maidenIgnite: Embers

30th November 2013:
What can I say, Slide? Pathetically, I couldn't tell you anything that hasn't already been said by your other reviewers - but I want to say something. Something to tell you how much this story meant to me, how watching these characters change and grow was, in all honesty, a wonderful experience. I love that Albus showed me that you can be both strong and caring, yet in being strong you are not without weakness. I love that Selena was a woman to her core, with a care for pretty things and appearence, but she was more logical and clever than you ever could have predicted. That Rose was the complete opposite of her, but also gave into the girly things without it changing who she was at her heart. That Scorpius and Lockett were strong and weak, right and wrong, and incredibly determined and inspiring. And Jones...
I should have known that as soon as I attatched his character to Mordin Solus, he would sacrifice himself in a similar way. However, out of all the characters to compare him to, Mordin is the one. I know you sad you were impartial to him, but he holds a special place in my heart, and Jones is right there next to him. Not that I'm saying your character is like Mordin - Jones grew and developed and turned into an incredible man by the end of the story (his *own* man, and one I'm so proud of), and a good friend for your characters (and myself). Selena's heartbreak at the beginning of the chapter had me in tears. Your characters have stolen my heart, and I love it.
And Draco. I saw that coming, but didn't want to believe it. I love Draco, usually, but your story has me wanting to wring his neck. I'm proud of Scorpius for standing up for himself. I hope his mother contacts him. In the meantime, I'm glad he has comfort by the Potters' side. It's a fitting home for him, if there ever was one.
I remember reading, somewhere, vaguely in an authors note, that you are working on an original fiction? This makes me so happy - that will be a story I will be pre-ordering and reading and re-reading if you ever get it published. Your writing is ... I don't have a word that could do it justice. In the meantime, I'm running over to read 'Starfall' as soon as I'm free.
Thank you for this incredible, inspiring, wonderful story. From your biggest fan,

Author's Response: I can only be thoroughly touched and pleased that you've taken all this away from the story. It was always meant to be fun and adventurous, but it certainly grew into being more than that as time went on, as the characters grew in their own right, and however much Methuselah's arc was planned from the get-go, he more than any of them grew beyond what I anticipated.

This Draco is certainly, right now, utterly unsympathetic. I dislike characters being 2-dimensionally evil and selfish, and so there IS a wider story to Draco in this tale, and one which will be told down the line. Certainly I don't think that, in canon, Draco would necessarily turn out like this. But it will be explored.

I'm certainly working on original fiction, I enjoy writing too much to not try to do this for a living. Hopefully some sort of news might come out of this soonish.

Thank you very much for sticking with the story, thanks for the kind words, and thanks for all the reviews! I'm just glad you enjoyed yourself along the ride.

 Report Review

Review #7, by rozen_maidenGravel on the Ground: From the Ashes: Chapter 3

23rd November 2013:
You know what I love most about your writing (because there are a lot of things I love)? You describe things without making them boring and tacky and tasteless. You've written the biggest no-no in this chapter, by describing what clothes Sadie is wearing, but you made it perfect. It wasn't just a simple 'She was wearing a blouse', but her character was explored in that paragraph, and I LOVE that! Really, that is just ... Ugh, your writing technique blows me away (and it breaks my heart that you don't think so yourself, so stop it!).
And McGonagall and Dumbledore are so perfectly in character. All I can do is shake my head and attempt to close my jaw.
Love it. Definitely going into my favourites.

Author's Response: Awww. What a way to start a review! Thanks so much! And I'm so sorry it's taken me this long to respond. Real life and all know the drill. I'm still a little swamped, but I'm starting to dig myself back out.

You really think I do descriptions okay? Sometimes I worry I'm boring people to death. And I didn't even realize that telling readers what characters were wearing was a nop-no!! Oopsie! It just seemed like part of setting the scene to me. I guess I'd better be carefull with that. And now you are making me blush and get a big head.)

Thanks for this review. Cheered me up a bunch today as I re-read it, and it makes me want to get my back-log of catch up items cleared out so I can write again.

 Report Review

Review #8, by rozen_maidenAs Starling Fades: Rumour Number 1

23rd November 2013:
First, I love your OC, Starling. The fact that she is famous, yet so normal, makes her a really easy character to relate to (I actually laughed a little when she took James's bank card - I do that to my own boyfriend all the time haha). You have introduced her so well - that opening paragraph was just perfect. I'm curious as to why she is hiding away from the media. Obviously the constant attention would get tiring, but I have a feeling that there is more too it.
And Rita Skeeter! Ugh, it's nice to see that some things don't change, I guess! It would be just horrible to hear women talking about you and your husband with you there; I love that Starling showed strength though, and didn't just turn around and give them one haha.

As for the writing itself, it was easy to read and keep up with. Your writing flows really well, and every paragraph was perfectly sized - I never felt it getting too clunky or cluttered. You're obviously a very talented writer: you made this a lot of fun to read. I could only find one thing to pick out:

"And today, she had decided to do some so ordinary she had not done it in years."
Should some be something?

Anyway, I'm so glad I came to check this out! I never really read stories like this, but this was honestly a lovely read :) Awesome job!

- Mahalia

Author's Response: Hello!

Yay! I'm glad you like Starling! I had (and kind of still have) reservations about this fic, so that was really glad to hear!

And yes, I guess Starling is kind of tired with people talking about her, so she just tries to ignore it so as not to make a scene.

I'm so glad that you think my writing flows well (it really means a lot to me!). And yay for talent (?)!

And ooh! Darn those typos! But I'm glad you liked it, this was extremely helpful and I can't thank you enough!

 Report Review

Review #9, by rozen_maidenTraitorous Hearts: The Malediction Perfidious

22nd November 2013:
I wish I could leave a longer review, full of constructive feedback, but really, I can't think of anything to say. Your writing - as I've said before - is just amazing. Honestly, every word and sentence just pulls me deeper into this story - the characters, the setting and the dark, mysterious mood. I honestly love it; you are inspiring!
And this scene:
"Madame Pomfrey tactfully looked away as Astoria reached up and tucked a stray hair behind her ear, subtly wiping the tear away in the same motion."
Perfect. I'm so looking forward to what comes. Well done, and thank you for updating!
- Mahalia

Author's Response: Hey Mahalia!

Thank you so much! Your review is wonderful--it brought a huge smile to my face. I always appreciate your comments so much. You are just so nice!

And I love hearing which parts were your favorites! That helps me, too. Thank you for taking the time to review. You are wonderful! Thanks for the inspiration.


 Report Review

Review #10, by rozen_maidenPicking Up the Pieces: Option

16th November 2013:
Draco and Anders!! Haha, their meeting was absolutely everything I had hoped - The snarky comebacks, the wit.. Hehe, you never let me down with your characters, you know. I am always left so fulfilled after reading a chapter, as you just have this way of making everything fall perfectly into place. Every dialogue and action seems so realistic :)
And Anders! I know I have said it before, but I love that man! He is such a ... jerk. His bitterness fills me with a sick delight. I'll agree with Ana on that one - it *was* nice to see Draco get a taste of his own medicine.

I felt like there were a lot of things in this chapter that went unsaid. I get the feeling that Anders and Ana are more desperate for answers and closure than they would like to admit. The fact that Anders went so far as to ask for help, despite not trusting Draco at all, says a lot without blatantly saying it. It seems a delicate situation, and I was happy to read that Ana is taking it so well. I kind of got the feeling that she was almost relieved that Draco is helping.
And this: ' "It's what she calls Death Eaters. Give her a break, she's four," Anaxandra replied, threading a stick through what looked to be a rabbit carcass. She expected a snarky comeback from Draco, but all she got was silence.' It completely slipped my mind that Ana has no idea about Draco's past! I'm curious to see what happens when she finds out - though it's probably not going to be a big deal, but still, it was another nice hint that I still don't know every character and their intentions yet. Honestly, you write like a professional. Your attention to detail is crazy.

I'm sad that this is on hold for a while :( I love this story and these characters! At least you're writing 'Warfare' for me to stalk and read in the future, though :P

- Mahalia

Author's Response: Yes! I was very much reaching for all of that with Anders! And I loves writing the scene where him and Draco meet :)

There are definitely a lot of things that are remaining unsaid.. for now :) I am SO excited to write how Ana finds out about Draco as well! I'm glad that you get so much joy out of my characters! I try to make them as real as I can make them. I just want to write the reveal chapter right now! But alas, my failed attempt at NaNo is waiting for me to write it... And you're always so nice in these reviews I feel like you're spoiling me :)

Thank you for the review as always brain twin :) You're so awesome!


 Report Review

Review #11, by rozen_maidenIgnite: Crash and Burn

30th October 2013:
Huh... Despite what Scorpius thinks, the scene with Hector and Rose had me completely on edge with worry that she was going to tell Flynn about her and Scorp. Not really the time or place, and I'm glad that she didn't. But, Scorpius was upset about it, a lot, which brings me back to the huh and thought of Miranda and Flynn ... His clear hatred towards Hector *does* go beyond that schoolboy rivalry, and I if I remember correctly, you may have mentioned before about Miranda cheating on Scorpius with Flynn ..?
Hmm, a hard situation for the young Malfoy. So very different from his father and grandfather, yet clearly a Malfoy - and I love that. I love that you haven't just made him completely different and better than what his ancestry is. He slips between brave and bitter fluently, and, man, did it really come out in this chapter. As I was reading the Jones, Selena and Scorpius scene, I was just cringing with the anger he was unleashing .. But Selena: "Did I stutter, Malfoy?" Ha! What a girl. She surprises me every chapter.
Ugh, and the part with Albus. That is sad ... I just hope that Scorpius can look back and see what Albus was trying to say about himself always being there for Scorp.

As much as I love the romance in this story, I really feel like it back burns with the amazing plot, and the curious - exceptionally curious - appearance of Thane. I can't even begin to guess his intentions or goals... He is the perfect picture of a psychopath without the title to go with, and barely knowing anything about him, I'm hesitant to say he's a psychopath. Though they have been through his file, I still feel like I know nothing about him. And to top it off - though it is probably completely irrelevant - I find it curious that he looks like a Malfoy. I know it is probably nothing, but it makes me uncomfortable nonetheless.

And the name Miranda! Honestly, I would never have picked up on that, as, like you said, they are completely different women. And I am more of a Dragon Age girl myself, but I had to sate my curiosity and ask nonetheless :)

Anyway, awesome as always. I'll be sad when it is over, but if you do write more, I'll be on that as fast as a cat on a mouse. In the meantime, I still have half the novel to go, so all is well :)

Author's Response: Rose can be thoughtless and unkind with it, but she's not quite that hapless. She wouldn't want to do that to Hector if she could help it. Not that she's in an ideal situation.

Scorpius has his reasons, which will get elaborated on in the future. I have, indeed, tried to find the ways in which he is a Malfoy to the bone, and then shift him around in others. While I don't think there are many Scorpiuses like my Scorpius, I shouldn't think he's completely alien to a lot of interpretations. For now he's intent on not being his father, his grandfather; some day he might see the positive aspects of his heritage, but... not yet. That's a WAY off, he has to become his own man first.

I'm glad Selena surprises. She, above all of them, is meant to have more to her than meets the eye! And yes, poor Albus gets much maligned in this chapter and we finally see him have enough of it.

I like romance, as you might tell, but I need my romance to be alongside a meaty plot to push the characters in extreme directions, and also to give them more to their lives than just the mushy. Characters in a romance must, for me, be complete individuals with their individually complete lives, and it's easier for that to happen with a firm plot. And I like plot!

Thane has his own motivations. You might question the psychopath assessment... we'll see! As for his looks, well. He does remind Scorpius of himself. A dark mirror, or something more sinister? We'll see.

I shan't lie, I'm more a DA girl too, but ME provided a solid source of inspiration for a three-act epic, the trilogy form and character and plot arcs which come with. We'll see if I can pull it off.

Plenty more to come! Thanks for reviewing.

 Report Review

Review #12, by rozen_maidenIgnite: Burning Question

29th October 2013:
Before I say anything, I just wanted to ask (and completely ignore this if you haven't, because I may sound crazy), have you played Mass Effect? Jones reminds me a lot of one of my favourite characters, Mordin, with his speech, and now there's a mysterious fellow named/titled 'Thane'... (again, if not, just ignore that ...).

But, some answers! I was not expecting the spell to do that - what a great twist! I feel sorry for dear Scorpius, being badgered by everybody after he drank that potion. I can't imagine having all those memories rushed back would be the most pleasant feeling in the world. As much as I love Rose, too, I probably would have flipped at her then - surprisingly, Scorpius is very tolerant :)
Speaking of which, I love their gradual growth in relationship. The other characters all seem to be very strong, firm personalities, but Rose and Scorpius seem to be fumbling around themselves during this crisis - like it is helping them mature and grow. The last part between herself and Albus really highlighted that Rose is only young and like her mother, ready to take on as much responsibility is possible. Its a good thing she has sweet Albus there to stop herself from burning out :)
Hmm, and I'm very curious about Draco, and what the deal is there with him and his son. I'm not usually a reader of Malfoy heir/Malfoy patriarch hating one another stories, but, this has really surprised me - Scorpius seems to not let it bother him much, but little things (like talking to Hermione) seem to really highlight that whatever happened, isn't really sitting very well with him...
Unless I missed something..?

Ah, anyway, I still love this story. A lot. It's lovely to come on and read between droll university work. :)

Author's Response: Ha, yes, I have played Mass Effect. Oddly it's not one of my favourites (I'm more for Bioware's fantasy fare) but it had an impact in writing Ignite for its big, traditional, 3-act trilogy epic - yeah, if it ever happens, the plan is for a trilogy. Thane, actually, is a coincidence of a name. The name I *did* steal was Miranda, and that was just because I was flailing for a name and spotted the ME2 box on my shelf!! I rather like ME's Miranda more than Ignite's, who... is nothing like her at all, really.

I cannot pretend to be quite so creatively pure when it comes to Methuselah. Although obviously the characters are different and divergent, Mordin was a starting point in his conception. Not so much consciously, the character just grew in my head after exposure, which is odd as I was always ambivalent about Mordin. But his influence remains there on our Methy, even if Methy is rather more... well, human, in the end.

Scorpius isn't tolerant of Rose so much as he had bigger things to worry about at the time. She CAN be a handful, can't she? And you're right - of them all, they're the two still finding their feet the most. Scorpius to have A purpose, and Rose to make her purpose, arguably the heaviest of all the kids, work and mean something.

The deal with Draco is a slow-burning one. Their relationship, and Draco, are not strictly how I would foresee Draco ending up if I were making canon predictions, but Ignite's Draco's had an 'interesting' time of things. More will come out in time, though suffice to say Scorpius, whatever the situation is, is experienced in 'handling' it, but also in *hiding* it.

Thanks for the review! Glad the story diverts.

 Report Review

Review #13, by rozen_maidenIgnite: Fever Pitch

28th October 2013:
So, I am in love - deeply, deeply in love - with your story. I am enjoying it so much, I had to stop reading to take the time to tell you. Of the three days I've been reading it off and on, your characters (particularly Albus, Socrpius and Methuselah) have not been far off my thoughts... they are just that good. They are so well rounded and realistic, and your attention to detail with every one feels as if I am reading a published work.
Yes, I could really rave all night, but your story just keeps dragging me in. I will definitely be back, reading this once I get the chance. I am very fast becoming a fan :)
- Mahalia

Author's Response: I'm very glad you're enjoying the story! There's plenty more to come, and the last chapter will be up soon, so you can probably enjoy it all the way to the end. I'm rather fond of the characters myself, so it's always good to know the readers enjoy them.

Thanks for reviewing, and I hope you enjoy the rest!

 Report Review

Review #14, by rozen_maidenDefining Astoria: Wrath (Part One)

24th October 2013:
I don't usually read stories dealing with such sensitive issues (for no reason in particular), so I wasn't sure what to expect. Sometimes, I feel like the emotion can be too overdone or too little, but this - your writing - is just the perfect balance. I read all of it in one sitting, drinking in every sentence. Your writing is superb, and Astoria is just a tragically beautiful character. She's such a tortured soul and I'm feeling genuinely concerned for her. You have done a really, really good job and I'm looking forward to the next update. Well done :)

Author's Response: Ooh, thank you so much for reviewing and for all of those lovely compliments! It's really pleasing to hear that you consider my handling of those sensitive issues done well, and that you're enjoying Astoria. The next update will be in January :) Thank you again!

 Report Review

Review #15, by rozen_maidenBefore We Were Heroes: The Hint of A Curse

22nd October 2013:
I'm so surprised this doesn't have more reviews! Your writing is truly amazing, full of description that has just drawn me in and kept me enthralled these two chapters. Elsie is a real strong character, and you've kept a certain mystery about her - in a way that makes me feel like I have met her. Piece by piece she is unraveling, and I'm interested to see where you are going to take her story. Once I have the time to, I will definitely keep reading on. In the meantime, awesome job :) Your plot has a real potential.

Author's Response: I'm so glad you're enjoying it, thank you!

 Report Review

Review #16, by rozen_maidenSleepwalk: dead-weight

21st October 2013:
I actually read this about two nights ago, and I've been trying to find the right words to say to tell you how fantastic and poetic your writing is, but I'm still struggling. Hopefully it will just be enough to say I'm eagerly awaiting your next update, because this was truly magnificent. Well done :)

Author's Response: Thank you so much for reviewing! This really means a lot! I'm so happy you liked this xx

 Report Review

Review #17, by rozen_maidenHeroes: What Fred Would Say

20th October 2013:
I am breathless at the moment... I started reading this to avoid my uni work. I wasn't particularly hazed at first, as I don't usually read about the Weasley's or Fred's death but this ...
This was, for lack of a better word... I'm sorry, I can't think of a better word, a good word, any word or sentence that does this justice. You are an incredible writer. And incredible is the poorest adjective I can think of at the moment. Every chapter revealed something new, every sentence held me captivated. Your control of language is professional and just perfect.
I don't know what else to say. You've inspired me. Thank you so much for this amazing story. I will most certainly be reading more of your work.
- Mahalia

 Report Review

Review #18, by rozen_maidenDivided: The Tale of the Hogwarts Founders: Chapter I

20th October 2013:
Review tag!
I've never read a founders story before, so I was pretty excited to read this - and I wasn't disappointed either! I love Rowena. I can already tell that she is a strong, beautiful and (of course) wise woman. I think you've really set her up to be something beyond what she sees herself just in this first chapter - the fact that she does not care for suitors, and has her eyes on one man really opened up her story. It's almost sad, actually. I do like that her mother, though persistent, respects her wishes though.

And Helga is just very sweet! Quiet like how I pictured her :)

Founders era and time-pieces are hard to write, but i think you have an excellent opening here and a great start to this story. I should probably get back to my assignments, but once i have some spare time, I'll definitely come back to finish this story!

Author's Response: Hi! Well thank you, I'm honoured to be your introduction to Founders stories, haha. And I'm so glad you liked it - it's wonderful to hear that you liked the portrayal of Rowena and her story so far. I appreciate your comment about her mother, too - I intended her to be a lot like Rowena in that way - she thinks she is right, but knows when to stop arguing! :)

Thank you so much, I'm really glad you like the opening to the story and that you're hoping to continue reading. Best of luck with your assignments and I hope you enjoy the rest of the story! ♥

 Report Review

Review #19, by rozen_maidenGravel on the Ground: From the Ashes: Chapter 1

19th October 2013:
Hello! I'm finally back to review, though I don't think it will be a long one, because you've completely sucked me into this story. Honestly, words cannot express (ironically) how amazing your writing is. Every sentence is just pure poetry and your dialogue is magnificent! I can picture every scene in my head so effortlessly - I cannot praise you enough, I swear! You are an incredible, amazing writer. I can't stop reading!

Author's Response: Hey there! Thanks for coming back! Means a lot to me that you are seeking this out to read on your own! And the compliment that you've been sucked in is a very nice one.

Thank you for the compliments. My writing is not nearly as amazing as you think it is, but I appreciate the support more than you can know.


 Report Review

Review #20, by rozen_maidenPicking Up the Pieces: Surreal

17th October 2013:
Sigh ... Astoria and Draco. I can't exactly pinpoint why, but I really love your Astoria. She's so firey and full of all the characteristic girlfriend emotions. It would be almost funny if it didn't upset Draco so much. My mouth literally fell open when I read that she was with somebody else. I honestly didn't see that coming! I mean, I thought it might have been her in Diagon that day, but I wasn't so sure. Besides, at the end of the day he was still with Ana on a 'semi'-date anyway (well, it would be if they just realised they are perfect for one another!)

You wrote the fight scene with Draco/Astoria really, really well. The whole dialogue and all their actions read very smoothly. I can tell that you put some effort into this chapter, and it really shines through. You are constantly impressing me with your writing. It's just so natural and smooth, that I'm a little envious (in the nicest way ;))

And it was nice to see Draco again in this chapter! Honestly, I never really felt that the Draco was lacking, as it always read that he was kind of there - what, with Ana thinking on him often and everything. I'm pretty amazed at the whole Ministry scene that played out! Really, was not expecting that... it has me thinking on a lot of questions - did Ana do it? She isn't as powerful as she could be, like you have said in previous chapters, which makes me wonder, did she get Anders to do it? Or is it somebody else entirely? And why wasn't Draco affected? Gah, so many questions! I'm so excited to read what is going to happen.. I feel like everything is moving to a climax and I ned to know now!

So, as you can tell, I was a bit in love with this chapter, and the cliffhanger (thank you for that -.- so evil). I will be eagerly awaiting your next update (as always).

Author's Response: The reason I love my Astoria is because I love to hate her so much lol. When I thought of putting her in the story, for some reason it just seemed right to have her cheat on Draco (I'm mean I know!) and to have them have this fight. And then I thought of what kind of personality she would need to have to cheat on him. Then bam! We have this whole fight scene, and it just seemed to right to put it in here. Don't be envious of me, young miss. I am so envious of kamikaze! It's one of my favorite stories right now, and I'm looking forward to an update from you! :)

I know! I've been trying to get through the last couple chapters to jump back into Draco. I know everyone was like, "WHERE IS HE!?" And I just had to calmly say, "HE'S COMING I SWEAR!" Maybe not so calm.. But yeah :P

And all the answers are coming in the next chapter, believe it or not! I'm going to try and pump this story and finish it soon (well not soon, like six or seven more chapter probably) so that I can get ready for NaNo. But I will make sure to not leave ANYTHING out!

I'm glad you liked this chapter :) I really had a great time writing it, and I can't wait for my next update either! You and all of your awesome reviews :)

 Report Review

Review #21, by rozen_maidenPicking Up the Pieces: Commencement

17th October 2013:
Since you deleted the chapter and have revised it, I thought I would review it again because I know that it would have taken a lot of guts (I've deleted whole stories before - dont do it. It's one of the dumbest things I've done).

I loved the whole style of this chapter, with the flashbacks of voices of her friends/family. I felt like it added a whole new depth to the story, especially considering that the actual dialogue didn't start until the near end of the chapter. There was no point in these segments where I wondered who/what was talking, and it didn't get repetitve in explanation either, so great job :) I can actually see how much your writing has improved, and you were a talented writer to begin with, so you should feel very proud right now!

Character wise - I love them all. I love that Ana doesn't hate Anders for what he said. She's so level headed and rounded for an OC - not overly feminine or emotional. I think I may have pointed it out before, but it's just so rare I find an OC that I like! And Anders... He really sums up everything an older brother should be. I'm pretty excited to see how his powers work and what is going to happen in the future. If Draco and him meet, I can't really see them getting along. Actually, maybe I can ... I don't know haha.

Anyway, onto the next chapter! :)

Author's Response: Not so much guts, more like, "Wow I hate myself for even writing that chapter like that, so now I must delete it and fix it!" kind of stupidity :P

I'm really happy that the re-write worked for you. I just felt like there were so many explanations in the rough draft of this, that I really lost the essence of my story, and thanks to your review, I can tell that I got it back! And thank you very much, I like to think I've improved a little :P

Yay for good OCs! I try to model Ana after who I really want to read about that's in her situation. I can't see someone like her, who hunts magical creatures and puts her life at risk all the time, being emotional or feminine. Actually, when I was figuring her out and writing everything about her on paper, I wrote "Doesn't want to be feminine." And that's why she seems a little awkward at times when things between her and Draco get a little... close(is that the right word?). She can't handle it because she's never had these feelings before.

And Anders is everything I've ever wanted in a big brother. Obviously not the yelling part (but it was necessary to be honest), but everything else I would want him to be. And I think you'll be fairly amused when they meet. I've already got that part written out :)

Thank you for your feedback! You're so awesome!


 Report Review

Review #22, by rozen_maidenPicking Up the Pieces: Truthful

19th September 2013:
Anders!! *-* If I could, there would be about 50 love hearts inserted here and a lot of fangirling right now!
Ah, let me also take the time to tell you how excited I am for your new chapter - and, as always, it was such a pleasure to read. Before I talk about this chapter though, in your last response you asked my opinion about Harry in your story. (I don't know if you still wanted some feedback on this; if you don't, just ignore below :) )

Personally, I don't see a real big issue with your Harry. I know he is a really hard character to write, though, just because he's Harry, and I completely understand that that in itself causes it to be a major concern. If you are worried about him in your story, my best advice would be to stop trying to think of him in isolation (I say this because I do it myself). Instead of working on 'How would Harry respond; What would he do' etc, try and think of Harry and Ana together. Ana is obviously the major component in your story, so how Harry is percieved will be from her own viewpoint (despite the third person). What we know about Harry is that he is gulliable, very, very curious, and a man who focuses on the end goal, despite the consequences in between. He is also exceptionally lazy when it comes to work. In my opion, you could really have Ana exploit these traits - she's clever, and in that way she could easily use Harry's curiousity in her (and perhaps her relationship with Malfoy) to trick him. She could also comfortably manipulate his thoughts on matters such as her past, what she does when she goes outside, and who she is if she were to ever find him snooping around. As long as Ginny isn't there, Harry would believe anything that Ana tells him (obviously within boundries, haha).
Also, instead of having him work when she enters the house in this chapter, maybe have him loiter around his desk where all his papers are. He is a man of excitement and fun, and in Hogwarts, he only ever left his assignments to the last minute, so I can see him doing this with his work papers. Just remember to show, don't tell with your characters - his personality will come through naturally that way, trust me ;)

I hope that made sense and helped out somewhat. Just because I pointed these things out, too, doesn't mean there is anything wrong with your characterisation in Harry, so don't feel pressured :)

Anyway, this chapter! I loved it! Anders is such an interesting man, I can already tell. His relationship with Ana was not what I was really expecting - being a little sister, in a family that stuck with each other, I was really expecting Anders to be real protective of Ana. I was pleasantly surprised. It sounds like he loves her, but all that seems to hang on a very fine wire - the subtle undertones of hostility when talking about being a Hunter, and how she is not a 'real' one, to the point where she is back in the house and reading that she needs to keep up with Anders... Yeah, I can see a real sibling rivalry and competetion going on, and it makes me all the more curious to see where her little sister is going to fit in with it all.

I also wanted to mention that Ana herself is amazing! The fact that she can keep it all together - she has just discovered that most of her family is still alive, and she is still the character I have grown to love. I'm so glad you didn't make her an emotional wreck after Anders departure, fitting her into that 'poor, lonely girl' stereotype. Really, you have excellent character consistency.

The end scene was delightfully chilling, too ... You have me guessing at who the man is - I hope it isn't who I think it is! I'm not going to say who I think it is, though, because I don't want to embarrass myself :P

I am excited for the next chapter, and if you do upload your new story, PM the link on the forums so I can check it out :)

Mahalia xx

Author's Response: ANDERS! Who I am assuming you're fangirling over in DA2. In that case, yes, his name inspired a little but of the character's personality in this one :)

I do understand what you mean! It's just hard to think about because even though we read all the books through Harry's eyes, I find him such a hard character to write! And when I don't know really understand a character's personality 100%, it DEFINITELY shows in my writing. I get so nervous and kind of just... blahh... which is how I felt in the last chapter. That chapter will definitely undergo some editing, as I think it's the one that seems the most unfinished.

Ah, about that... Well you can tell that he loves her, and that he is a very light-hearted person, but something to remember is that Anders grew up just like Ana did. Just like she's a bit reluctant with emotions and can't really control them because she doesn't really know what they are, neither does he. Their parents (their father especially) was his guiding light, his mentor, pretty much his everything. And then he has enough faith in his father and her that they could fight these things off, but then he finds out she left him alone and he ended up dying, well, what would you feel like? At least for me, I would be upset, and could you imagine if you didn't know how to handle your emotions either? That's how I saw Anders. And poor little Agnatha, we'll see her later.

I'm SO HAPPY that she's being consistent! In my eyes, I'm writing and constantly questioning myself! Yeah, Ana may not know how to deal with her emotions, but I felt like she had already dealt with the guilt for a while, so she had enough sense to just not let it consume her.

All I have to say about the man is... MUAHAHAHA!!!

I will, definitely! Always a pleasure to see you review or pop up on the forums! :)

 Report Review

Review #23, by rozen_maidenGravel on the Ground: From the Ashes: Prologue

7th September 2013:
Hey dear, it's Mahalia! I'm really glad I came over here to read your story - your writing is just so lovely to read. It's easy to follow, yet full of so much description, and your characters are just perfect. I could honestly picture them perfectly in my mind - from the girl to the woman in the shop and finally the old lady. I can't find any faults!
And to say I'm intrigued is an understatement :) I honestly didn't know what to expect after our PMs to each other - I was expecting a real cliche fic, but so far I haven't gotten that vibe! Are you sure you aren't just paranoid? I guess I'll have to see in the later chapters ;)
Anyway, I think this was a perfect opening chapter. You've done a really great job. I'll be looking at more as soon as I get the time, promise! :)

Author's Response: HI!!! So happy you came! And you are leaving me blushing. I'm so glad you liked the start!

And you're intrigued. That's the best compliment ever, when someone wants to know what happens enough to come back.

Yeah, I'm probably paranoid - but you also haven't read it all yet, LOL. Honestly, I know I'm playing with some things that are overused, or walking a fine line with a few things, but I DO hope to do it in a way that doesn't seem cliched, still I worry and so I'm like, watch out for this, or that, or...hehehehe.

Thanks so much! I was so lovely to get this from you! Made my day.

- Farmgirl

 Report Review

Review #24, by rozen_maidenKill Me.: Dom

13th August 2013:
Hey there, fellow Snake :)
This was a real intense, little read! I wasn't expecting something full of such emotion. You wrote your characters really well, and I felt extremely sorry for poor Dom. No wonder Scorpius was so angry. I felt that Dom's situation could have been elaborated on at first, but by the end, I liked that you didn't touch on that. The sense of mystery gave it a very sinister feel, and I think that it work really, really well. And, hey, for an one-hour slap together, this was very, very good :)
There was this one sentence though:
"Her face had streaks from tears that rolled down her pale just a short while before."
I think you're missing cheeks, or face in there :)
Anyway, awesome job that was a pleasure to read!

Author's Response: Whoops. So you found a mistake! I knew one would eventually be found...

Pleasure? Really...? aw shucks. :)

I was at a cross roads whether to add detail into the situation but I wanted the focus to be on the character interaction rather than just a reaction to the situation you know? Thanks for all the kind words! You made me blush a little :)


 Report Review

Review #25, by rozen_maidenThe Queen Is Giving In: Truth or Death?

12th August 2013:
blackballet! It's Mahalia, from the forums. I'm sorry it's taken me so long to keep reviewing (very, very sorry, I should say).
Your story is still coming along really well. I'm loving Dorcas personality - she's sassy, and a little rough around the edges, which makes her incredibly real to read. I really hope her and Sirius work out what's going on - you can tell that it annoys the other Marauders too, so I think it would be awesome if they could just sort their issues out, haha.
But the truth and dare game! I loved it - typical Sirius getting his hands on Veritaserum! That was always going to be trouble. But, I think you wrote that scene really well (there were some grammatical errors, but I won't waste your time pointing them out - if you just gave your chapter a once over, I think it would all be fine :)). It was easy to read, and I loved the character dynamics - especially the Remus/Mary kiss. I thought that was pretty cute :3
Ah, and your flashback! It sounds like Nick and Dorcas were really close at one point. I have to say, she is handling the whole him dating her friend very well, considering how serious (Sirius? haha) they were in their relationship. As much as I shouldn't, I do really enjoy Nick as a character - I think you've given him a strong personality, and he has a real 'bad boy' attitude. The fact I like and hate him at the same time is mark of great writing, so well done :)

Overall, another good chapter. I will be reading more, and again, I'm so sorry I've delayed it for so long!
- Mahalia

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'm glad you liked it so much. They will sort there issues out soon, don't worry.
Yes, I had to put it in there, because I feel like it's a staple in a marauder fic. I had a bit of trouble keeping track of everyone, but I finally got it.

Yes they were very close, and I think Dorcas was okay about it because she doesn't really want much to do with Nick anymore, as you'll see in the next chapter.

Nick is like that bad boy that you really want to hate, but you just can't, and I am so glad I wrote him that way.

Thanks so much for reviewing, and I'll definitely request soon!

 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login

<Previous Page  Jump:     Next Page>