Reading Reviews From Member: LacyBlu and Branu
  
10 Reviews Found

Review #1, by LacyBlu and BranuHarry Potter and the Sect of the Serpent: Reunions

14th January 2005:
Hey guys, just wanted to let you know that due to circumstances beyond my control, there will be no new chapter this week. I should be back and better than ever (haha) next week, though. If you ever want more information on what is going on in the land of Lacy and the Sect, updates on when you'll see the next installment, cookies, teasers, drabbles, and other whatnot, you can visit my livejournal at www[dot]livejournal[dot]com/users/lacylu42/ where I talk about my life in fandom. =) Thanks for reading and reviewing!

Author's Response: =)

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Review #2, by LacyBlu and BranuHarry Potter and the Shield of Grindelwald: The Injury

13th December 2004:
Hey there! We're having a little Remus discussion over on my LJ and I thought I'd invite you to drop by, since you and I have had productive Remus characterisation conversations before! http://www.livejournal.com/users/lacylu42/14367.html See ya! ~L

Author's Response: Hey, I have an LJ too! I'll toss you on my friendslist.

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Review #3, by LacyBlu and BranuHarry Potter and the Shield of Grindelwald: The Shield of Grindelwald

29th November 2004:
Hello my friend! So, this was one jam packed chapter!! But I got the feeling that you'd been dying to get some of this out in the open for a while now -- boy, do I know the feeling!! =) I LOVE all the history stuff, it's absolutely fascinating. I'm reading a NaNo HP novel that takes place in the 1940s, and I have a feeling it's going to be a similar look at the two wars (wizard and muggle) and how they were interrelated. It will be really interesting to see where the two converge and where they diverge! Also, I loved the comparison of left-handedness to magic. I read a line in some fic that I can't even remember now that was Dumbledore saying something like, "The only difference between wizards and muggles is the ability to believe," and it really stuck with me! Good show! Really, I think I enjoyed this chapter best of all of yours (except maybe the Motorcycle chapter...) because of the rich details. LOVE me some details!! =) And -- OMG -- but, do I detect a HINT of H/T????? hee hee hee. I know, I know... You'll never tell!!

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Review #4, by LacyBlu and BranuHarry Potter and the Shield of Grindelwald: The Injury

21st October 2004:
Hoo-rah for new chapters! I’m going to jump around a bit here. *Wishing this darned review thing would let me make paragraphs!!* I’m glad Hermione got to say the bit about being upset with Dumbledore for being human; from anyone else it might have sounded like !explication, but she pulled it off OK. I was a little irked by Ron’s line about Harry having fought with Ananda loads of times before... How does he know? I mean, he’s only known Ananda for a short time, hasn’t he? You mentioned in one of your early reviews of my fic that you thought our two versions of Remus would be diverging and going their separate ways. How right you were! I'm a bit surprised to see your Remus being so vitriolic and vituperative towards Snape. I always pictured him as one who would be more likely to take the high road and be the bigger man. Yes, I can see him getting almighty pissed if Snape started spouting off about Sirius, but hauling off and punching him? Hmm... Plus, when did Snape get so whiny? Very different from the way I’ve always pictured him. Greasy and evil, yes, but spineless? Hardly! He was so quickly cowed by Dumbledore and the others... I felt like your characterization of the various professors was slipping slightly in this chapter. At one point, Dumbledore addressed Snape just as “Snape” – as opposed to Professor Snape or Severus – and it just stuck out for me like a sore toe. Be careful when you’ve got so many people in a scene not to let them run together... And what happened to Ron after they got to Dumbledore’s office? He just sort of blends into the crowd... Gilbraith is an interesting duck, isn’t she? I’m not going to say what I think I know in case other people didn’t catch it – but I want you to know that I caught it, for the record!! ;) (That doesn’t make any sense at all, does it? Oh well...) Oddly enough, my chapter 15 was titled “The Sect of the Serpent” and that’s when I got in my first major plot point – so I wouldn’t worry about your pacing at all. And you’re absolutely right – JKR has slowed down her pacing considerably as she’s gone along, so your speed could even be called canon!! =) Whew! OK, I think I just set my own personal record for comment leaving. I hope some of it was helpful. Cheers!

Author's Response: Man, I love long reviews, particularly when they're chock-full of constructive criticism like this one, but they're hard to know how to respond to! First off, thanks. Now, I'll try to respond point-for-point...I think one of Hermione's literary functions is to be a step ahead of Ron and Harry in terms of introspection; she can see and say things that they feel but are too teenaged to perceive. Ron, I believe, was referring to Harry and Ananda's bickering of the year, with her not eating and whatnot. Plus, he was trying to make Harry feel better. Next...(before I respond to this, I need to tell you your lovely use of the words "vitriolic" and "vituperative" warmed the cockles of my heart.) Well, Remus. Poor Remus. Before I decided on Remus's characterization, I put myself in his shoes, because in my original conception of my story I was afraid he would be static and one-dimensional. This is what I saw...a man who had been dealt bad hand after bad hand in life; first the werewolf bite which has haunted him since childhood, isolating him from everyone. Then, the friendships which defined his life, one by one, stolen away from him. And you know what? It was all circumstance, but it could also be interpreted as part of the workings of the Dark Arts. Pettigrew betrayed him, but out of fear of Voldemort. Sirius was taken away, first as a suspect for a crime committed by dark forces, and then permanently by a dark attack. James was killed using Dark Magic. And what has Remus done? Taken the high road, as you put it, trusting his fellow man even as his life falls apart around him. You know what? I think he's had it. I think he's up to his ears in the high road and he perceives it as costing him everything he holds dear. Yet, what can he do? The Order is paralyzed. The only slightly dark person he can strike against is snape. So, poor man, he is relentlessly protective of the friends he has left (Harry and Buckbeak) and filled with rage the rest of the time. Look back at chapter 10 when he explains to Harry how he feels about Snape. That was direct foreshadowing of this incident. Whew! Onward. Look at the Snape interactions more carefully...the spineless isn't quite as merited as you think it is. Hint: all my chapter titles are double entendres. Next, re: the "slipping of characterization" of the professors...Harry is sixteen now. Sixteen is about the age when teachers become real people; flawed, non-omnipotent, human as Hermione put it. Sure, Dumbledore was larger than life before and isn't now. The point I was trying to make is that he never was. (p.s. I fixed the Snape. I was very careful in the chapter about how the teachers addressed each other; but anyone can screw up once. :)) The running together comment is justified; this isn't a kind of scene I shine at, yet. Luckily, I don't have many to write. The Gilbraith guess....I foreshadowed two developments of her character in this chapter. I'm curious to know which one you caught. And again, as seems to be common with us, funny on the synchronicicty. :) As always, thanks for reviewing!

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Review #5, by LacyBlu and BranuAnniversary: Countryside Meeting

10th October 2004:
It's a nice start. I liked your descriptions of each of the characters checking their watch -- it ties them all together nicely. You don't need so say (at the same time). Maybe you could show it by having them all check their watches and the first one is ten minutes to six and the next one is eight minutes to six, and so on. Also, I think it would really help you out if you got a beta reader. You have some simple gramatical problems that could be easily fixed. Also, try varying the construction of you sentences. Yours are all "he did this. He did that. She went there. She looked at that." Try combining some senteneces and making them longer or shorter. That will really help with the flow of the overall piece. But most of all: keep writing! You will only get better with practice, and I can tell that you definitely have wonderful places you want to take your readers. Hope this was helpful! ~Lacy

Author's Response: I had to change the format from the original b/c it was rejected they wouldnt post it, after 4 times they finally accepted the one that is up now. my reader and I chose that writing style. thanx for ur review.

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Review #6, by LacyBlu and BranuHarry Potter and the Shield of Grindelwald: Friends Disillusioned

6th October 2004:
What an interesting chapter! I have a feeling you've been listening to the sorting hat all these years, haven't you? Nice wake up call for Harry to see things from another perspective, and it's important that he does. He's got to realize that all Slytherins are not beneath contempt, and that the pendulum swings both ways. Poor Ananda though. She's really getting the short end of the friend stick here, isn't she. Well, we can only hope for brighter days ahead for her. =) ~Lacy

Author's Response: I don't know if the days ahead for Ananda are "brighter" exactly, but she will decide to be fish or fowl, as it were. The dual nature she was trying to balance, given the highly charged political atmosphere of Hogwarts, was doomed to failure.

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Review #7, by LacyBlu and BranuHarry Potter and the Forest of Shadows: A Flaw In The Plan

1st October 2004:
Hi Sophie! Well, I'm finally getting around to reading the sequel! I can't remember if I reviewed Green Flame Torch or not, but I enjoyed it, and I'm enjoying this one! I really liked your characterization of Ron eavesdropping on his sister and Apparating to random places. =) Good old Ron; so adorable in his cluelessness. Just wanted to point out two quick typos for you (forgive me if they've already been brought to your attention): In the Snorkack paragraph you say "and proceeded to damaging the garden." And in the very next paragraph you say "even though his worries far excelled their own." I think you mean "exceeded" for that last one. =) But don't worry. Someone only recently pointed out that I misspelled Hogwarts for the first 8 chapters or so of my fic! D'oh!! =) Anyway, good beginning!

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Review #8, by LacyBlu and BranuHarry Potter and the Shield of Grindelwald: Professor Gilbraith

23rd August 2004:
"The reason for it is this; up to Umbridge, every female Hogwarts teacher has essentially been an honorary male. Umbridge was awful, true, but in a quintessentially female way. The narrative style set up in the first five novels favors an experiential voice; it speaks through Harry, and essentially only in terms of experiences Harry has already had. This means that, when Harry meets an authority figure without sublimated femininity (Gilbraith), he will naturally think of her in terms of the only other one he knows (Umbridge). But I think, as I explain Gilbraith a little more, this will become clear." -- Is it weird to review your response to a review?? =) I was just enthralled by this tidbit and I totally agree with you! I realize now that my own DA teacher is kind of a reaction to the male-ness of the other female teachers, and I did it completely subconsciously. But after reading your explaination, I realize that's exactly what I did! Oh, bravo!

Author's Response: It's nice when I get a review that allows me to put my theory hat on. I think the Harry Potter books are some of the best examples of prosecraft in a long time, and I really believe what she has done to the literary landscape in terms of sympathetic narrative, psychic distance, and narrator-character symbiosis will change the way people write children's books, and perhaps all novels. It's a treat to work in her style.

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Review #9, by LacyBlu and BranuHarry Potter and the Shield of Grindelwald: Professor Gilbraith

20th August 2004:
What?? No more sinuously waving strands of saffron?? Hahaha! Poor Ron! I could tell that this chapter "wrote itself" as you say. Somehow, I find that the ones authors find the easiest to write are often the easiest to read. (Which doesn't bode well for MY latest chapters!) I really loved the new History of Magic professor; she reminds me of one of my high school history teachers whose room was also decked out in all kinds of interesting things (albeit, none of them moving of their own accord...). His favorite thing to do was stand on his desk to get our attention and shout "This is just common knowledge, people! Just common knowledge!" =) I'm enjoying each and every syllable of your story and await the next installment with baited breath. =D Yours most sincerely, ~Lacy

Author's Response: Nope. A little saffron goes a long way. :) I think you're right about the easist to read idea, but there's definitely something to be said for a painstakingly crafted piece of work too. It gets an intricacy you simply can't rush through. Both types are nice, I think. And your history teacher sounds awesome! Maybe I'll throw something like that in, though I do have professor gilbraith's personality worked out already. I had a great history teacher in college who was part of the inspiration for her.

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Review #10, by LacyBlu and BranuHarry Potter and the Shield of Grindelwald: The Big Mistake

16th August 2004:
Bravo to Agatha and her muse, the sorting hat! I thought it was a fine song! I'm busy trying to write a riddle for my story, so I know how challenging it can be!! So, I'm sitting here reading this chapter in my cube at work (yes, I know, bad Lacy!) and I absolutely burst out laughing -- right out loud -- when I read "his moustache wiggling like strands of saffron glued to his upper lip." Hahahaha! I about died. That is hilarious! Also, I loved the idea of a ghost's poker night: I can just picture the fat friar not being very good at it, and the Bloody Baron having the best poker face in Hogworts! =) One question though: whom did Hermione and Ron see die? I don't mean to nitpick (honestly!) I'm just curious. They weren't in the room when Sirius fell through the veil, were they? Did I miss that?? eek! I like Ananda a lot. She definately has potential. I didn't have the guts to put my OC in Slytherine! So bravo to you for that too. Yay for more chapters! Yay for long reviews (thank you!)!! Affectionately, ~Lacy

Author's Response: THEY WEREN'T IN THE VEIL ROOM??? Argh. My bad. I'm gonna go check to make sure, but now that you mention it I think you're right. And I was rather enamored of the ghost's poker night... maybe for their championships they play against the paintings. :)

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