First I aplogize for not reading this sooner, I only just found the post part of my profile. Now with that out of the way onto the review:
You really hit what it's like to be seperated from the person you consider your whole world. Though the switch back and forth threw me off a bit at first as normally when I see italics it seems to be referring to a flash back and not a change in POV. However, once I got that figured out I felt the flow was excellent. It is not often people can change back and forth that much without causing some muddling; you have mastered that admirably in this one-shot. Very good read. Cheers!!!Author's Response: Oh, no worries! You didn't have to review at all, but I'm immensely pleased that you did. :) It was great to see your name over this way!
I didn't lead into this story, or the other wrote in this style, stating exactly how the switch was going to occur, and mostly because I kind of feel like it's kind of rewarding when it clicks on its own. Maybe I'm just mean! But I'm really happy to hear you think the story flowed well nonetheless, and it's great to hear that you enjoyed this. Thank you very much for taking the time to leave me a review on this! ♥ Report Review
I am very interested to see where this goes, I hope you haven't given up on it entirely. Report Review
I like your story so far. It is interesting the paths you've chose for your characters. Also, your story has been the first in about three weeks that hasn't been a grammer nightmare, a few here or there, but thank you so much for caring enough about your story to proof read it so the readers aren't distracted from the story be trying to figure out what is trying to be said. PS... At least words are low in calories :-) Cheers!Author's Response: Thanks. I have gotten bunches of crap for my grammar. The fic is being beta'ed, not sure how long it will take though. Glad you liked it. It had been so much fun to write. And, yeah that's my favorite part; I can eat and eat my fill of Draco without getting fat. When you are typing, your hands are busy and can't eat. Its one of the reasons why I love writing so much. Report Review
My main constructive critisim or whatever, is slow down your writing. The story is good, but all the dropped words and switching of past/present/furture tense gets slightly frustrating. I would strongly suggest getting a good proof reader. Like I said however, a very good story with true to chacater humor and a great idea fleshed out. Really, the emotional turmoil of the aftermath is well thought out and if you clean up the delivery it would be an even more delightful read. Cheers!Author's Response: ghostfire,
It makes me happy that you thought this was a delightful read. I have been working on editing all my chapters in hopes I don't get too many more complaints. Hopefully you stil continue to read after I have cleaned up these chapters.
Thanks for the review!
Megthechef43 Report Review
I waited a long time to read this and was happily surprised to come back from 7 months on deployment to find it completed I greatly enjoyed the effort and thought put into making these characters come to life in this unusal yet well written crossover. And I look forward to any further installments. Sincerely,
Ghost on the LincolnAuthor's Response: I am glad to hear that you made it back safe and thank you for the review. I hope that you go on and read the sequel that, unfortunately, is still being written. I look forward to hear from you again.
Vana Report Review
hey I really liked where you were going with this story can you email me the other site and all the stats so the I can find it there? usghostfire at the one and only yahoo Report Review
I'm in the Navy and have been to a bunch of states and no matter where I go no one seems to know how to drive in the rain. It's like their brians stop functioning. Otherwise I quite like this story and am looking forward to the next new instalment. Cheers! Report Review
Okay so I like that you've added a lot of information it's apparent that you enjoy writing and I don't mind the cliffs because how many people do it? It works as otherwise chapters just go on and on. Also am I correct that you are basing certain features of this camp from your own expierence? They say write what you know and I think you have mastered that well. Cheers!Author's Response: Someone doesn't mind my cliffies... YAY!!! I totally agree that chapters can go on and on without them... and I think that they're fun to write :D
A lot of this stuff is based on a camp that I went to when I was younger, so I am definitely writing from experience I am so happy that you like my story!
thanks for reviewing!!
~emily~ Report Review
one main question when you said write it out are you saying you were having a month befitting a kiss? J/K and not sick or twisted just a draker side of the pretty little things. Highly likely to have happened had we not been given a 19 years later but interesting none the less.Author's Response: No no. I don't want any kind of kiss that ends in my soul being sucked from my body. That's not for me. No, I was just having a bad month all around, in a lot of different ways.
Anyways, thank you for reading. Great review.
XAddysenX Report Review
i don't know that I would say haha funny more like someone's scratching their head still trying to get it funny. HeHe.Author's Response: okay :-) Thanks for the review. Report Review
hmm... Well I liked it though I tend more often read draco or harry slash. Something about being able to grasp their lives easier. It's well written a few off sentences(SP?) that had repeated words I wasn't sure if they should be there or not. And as you can tell I can't spell. I wonder though if the whole of it is going to be first person from Sirius or if you'll put some other pov's? I like it regardless, but it might make it easier on you to not write it solely from Mr. Black's pov. Cheers!Author's Response: Ghostfire, thank you very much! I am glad that you enjoyed it, and also glad that you left me a review that was so detailed. I always appreciate those with constructive criticism, so thanks. I will try to write one from Mr. Lupin's, and I'll see how that goes.
-Vanessa Report Review
so all your reveiws are by you, which is too too bad as they definetly seemed like they had a thing for you, but as it is you having a thing for than I guess I'm happy about your apparent lack of a self esteem problem. Too many young people can't enjoy a good joke on themself. And if you can't laugh at yourself from time to time you are doing something wrong. Oh and the story it could some more sarcasim and some satiristic quips.Author's Response: Ah well, I'm glad you liked those at least. I have my own battles with self esteem, but I can definately laugh at myself; it's more fun and less cruel than laughing at someone elses problems! So, more sarcasm? I can do that...I hope you liked it at least a little bit... Report Review
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