Ooooh. That. Was. AWESOME! Honestly, I just spent the last half hour obsessed with this, and then I HAD to read it again. First, I think Tobias got the injunction, because he's still in love with Tanith. Jen and Gabe though, that looks like it's going to take them a while to sort out their issues, especially since they're so opinionated.
Ok. So here's my opinion on Jen Riley, even if you don't want to hear it. She's a great character, and if I was in Gryffindor I would probably want to work with/for her, especially during the war. But she's INCREDIBLY opinionated, judgmental, and sort of assumes she has the moral upper hand. She just sort of assumes that her opinions are right. So, if it's a two way street for Tanith and Tobias, then it's a two way street for Jen and Gabe and Tanith and Jen as well. Obviously she's just had a traumatic experience, but for someone who seems like she's going to take the moral high ground, she seems to have always ignored that she was LUCKY in some ways. Tanith didn't have the choice to leave the Auror office during the war, but Riley was free as a bird to start the Lions. I mean, eventually she'll probably at least accept why Tanith killed him, but she might also hate her forever, which is wrong and a touch bitchy, actually. It's kind of obvious that Tanith is punishing herself for killing Nick Wilson, but no one else sees it, which is interesting. Even so, for all her "I'm persecuting war criminals" moral high ground, and her brief notion of fighting for Lackardy, she's very one sided, and obstinate, and probably should never be in a true position of power again. She's too emotional.
Still, I loved it. I can't wait for the next one!Author's Response: I always want to hear opinions! Yes, Jen is a very opinionated and strong-willed person with a strong moral compass. I suppose it's true she assumes her opinions are right, but at the same time, we all generally assume our own opinions are right, which is why we hold them! :) But you're not wrong, she is the most morally forthright of the characters, which means that she is decisive when she is right, and fanatical when she is wrong.
I think the assessment is perhaps a little harsh, however, and based on two factors. The first is that: this is the initial fallout. This is her *just now* learning what happened to her lover, in public, in the middle of doing her job, no less. So yes, she's losing her nerve quite fantastically, and it's a double-whammy once she realises that Gabe lied by omission. The second is a worse defence: Jen just doesn't like Tanith very much. She tries, for Gabe's sake, but it really makes the knife twist more and she's only human against such a personality clash. I would remind that it's Jen, really, who catalysed Tanith into taking action against the administration in Shadow, saving Nick from Azkaban and Jen demonstrated her capacity to look beyond her own nose when it came to trusting Gabe. These are all older information and half-written and I have put very little of Jen's background on paper, really, to indicate the risks she took compared to Tanith's (though, indeed, Jen was far, far freer to act than Tanith). Most important, really - this sequence is not done, Jen's emotional reaction to these events is not done, and the impact it will have upon her and her self-reflection is not done. I, personally, would still consider Jen a more professional person than Tanith. ;)
BUT I am not saying you're wrong! I am HAPPY that my characters get reactions and such like this, and it's always interesting how people respond to the more morally forthright characters - there's no set universal agreement, in my experience. So PLEASE do feel free to give more back and forth on this topic, it pleases me!
There WILL be more to come, from Gabe and Jen and Tanith and the lot, and - interesting theory about Tobias. There's logic to it. We'll see if you're right. Thanks a whole bunch for your thoughts! Report Review
This chapter, in general, is my favorite. Cal and Tanith have been together throughout most of the war, always thrown together, and usually supportive of each other. It was really interesting to see if that "affection" would still be between them, even with Tobias and training Harry Potter to distract Tanith.
There was more Gabe and Jen! You, quite frankly, are amazing for that. Gabe was an ass, because he is an ass, and she didn't just shake it off immediately. That was great, because a normal person doesn't get over a blasť statement on their friends death instantly. It was also realistic because she forgave him, because it is incredibly annoying and a bit unrealistic when characters fight for chapters about one silly, little mistake. I do think that Gabe will take the job from Daedalus Cole, though. He doesn't seem like one to back away from anything interesting, let alone a challenge.
I do wonder whether or not we'll see Nat again. It seemed strange, how quickly she and Cal got over each other. Tortured in prison, I understand. But I don't really understand Cal getting over her that quickly.
Tanith and Tobias are the most dysfunctional, competitive, obnoxious, and adorable couple I've ever had the pleasure of reading about. They have chemistry, they fight, but they don't have the type of relationship where they fight and make up in some ridiculously sexual way. They're realistic; their problems are large, and they deal with them as best they can. I do worry about them, though. Tobias has still got that Slytherin ambition, it looks like. I wonder how long they'll last.
This remains my favorite story. YAY!Author's Response: I always forget how much this chapter has going for it until I reread it. This is the first proper conversation Cal and Tanith have had since their huge row; all credit would have to go for Cal for why things aren't tense, 'cos God knows that kind of reconciliation isn't Tanith's strength! In some ways, the distractions help - she has a lot on her plate, ergo doesn't have time to make a fight with Cal!
Gabe is, indeed, an ass. A recovering ass, but an ass nevertheless - and Jen also KNOWS this. She can't really get on her high horse when he says something insensitive, because it's what he's good at; all she can do is try to help him STOP doing it, which does include calling him on it when he's unpleasant. I find, in this story, G/J inadvertently make a foil for T/T: they have and will face similar choices, and 9 times out of 10, G/J will make the more sensible choice more quickly!! And yet I find them no less compelling to write, so I hope their relatively healthiness makes them no less compelling to read. I guess we'll have to see on what Gabe does about Cole. ;)
There is certainly more to come on the Cal/Nat front. He's keeping his cards close to his chest - though it has been a few months now. And thank you! T/T are, indeed, obnoxious at times. They're quite horribly damaged, and that's pretty much this story's question for them: Now stuff's not keeping them apart, are they too damaged to stay together?
Very glad you're enjoying the ride, and thanks for reviewing! Report Review
This entire series is AWESOME. It's really, really original, and it actually addresses something magical instead of just a bunch of weird common room parties. Your characterization is amazing, considering the progress that Gabe and Jen have made. I love it.Author's Response: Thank you! Yes, I have endeavoured to explore part of the world which make it, well, Harry Potter, instead of just plain 'teenage hijinks + magic'. Very glad to hear that you've enjoyed the story so far; plenty more to come (and definitely still from Gabe and Jen)! Thanks for reviewing. Report Review
I like it a lot. it's got a well-developing line. Did you get the title and quote from MIKA's "We Are Golden"?Author's Response: Hey Echo95! Well I'm extremely glad that you like this story! Yeah, I did get the line from 'We Are Golden', it's a great song. I feel like it's sort of the theme for this story, you know?
Thanks for the review!
-Emily Report Review
Okay! Another good chapter. Short, like you said, but that can be good. It's easy to make long chapters hard to read, but harder to do that to shorter chapters. This looks like a transfer/filler chapter, but again, you give a really good sense of Angus' relationship with her dad.Author's Response: Sorry about the fillerishness, I've added some more interactions with other characters so that might help. The next chapter has some more action in it.
Thanks for reviewing again! Report Review
Okay! Sorry for the wait, it turns out I've been busier than I thought I'd be. You've got a nice start, I really think you've got James and Sirius down, and Lupin, too. Levicorpus is non-verbal, though. Also, Your detals are good, but maybe some insults from Snape towards Sirius and James, bit that's a good, solid start.Author's Response: Thanks for the review, and thanks for the suggestion :) Report Review
Responding to your requested review. I like it. The vampire stuff is good. Really good. I don't think you could improve it much. However, the Hogwarts characters are a bit OOC. The kids are fine, but Albus and Snape are a bit out of character. Too chipper, actually I think. Anyway, great start! You might want to break this into two chapters, though. Maybe make the vampire stuff a prologue instead of breaking into Hogwarts at the end.Author's Response: Thank you very much, however, I find myself just a tad bit confused... I don't have any vampires in my story... This is for the right one, right?? ^_^; Report Review
Hi! Responding to your review request... REALLY GOOD START. I like it, I like it a lot. We don't know a lot about Albus' history at Hogwarts, and even though JK tells us differently, your taking it out of canon really worked out well. You're taking your time, which is really, really good. Could we see a bit of what Gus and Joe look like, though? Do they look alike, or like total strangers? The tense is absolutely fine, it works well. We really have a sense of Gus' emotions in this chapter, how she wants to be who her father wants her to but just can't. You have a really solid start, and your grammar isn't too shabby either. Just be careful of not having her be too depressed- let her find some happiness. Awesome!Author's Response: Thanks for your review. She does get happier later on but very slowly. Report Review
Hi! I'm reviewing for your request... The first thing I have to say is don't rush it. I like it, it's interesting. I'm not against 'Harry has a sibling' stories, I wrote one myself. The thing is, you could add more detail if you spread it out over several chapters. The next thing, is Harry seems a bit OOC. I know there's not a lot you can do in Hogwarts, unless you take it into your own hands, which is fine, but Harry would probably be dead calm, or a bit more crazy. Really nice start though!Author's Response: Thank you so much I sort of agree with you when it comes to Harry I had a hard time trying to figure out how he would react to the situation without making it seem forced or cheesy so I decided to play it safe with his reaction and just try and let it seem like he is in so much shock and things are happening so quickly around him that he doesn't have time to actually react to the news so he just sort of adjusts quickly in order to keep up with everything else that happens which becomes more evident in later chapters. As for the taking it slow I'm glad you agree because so far that's how I've been going so I could get everything that I wanted said and let the readers really grasp what's happening so it's good to hear that it isn't going to slowly. Thanks again! Report Review
Okay, so good first chapter, with some interesting parts. My one thing is that it's kinda OOC. Would Harry really invite Draco to his party> Or actually eagerly agree to one? It just seems kinda OOC to mean. BUT- Great start. You rock for writing. Report Review
You are so evil! Update so quickly, it's like we just read this one.Author's Response: aw! thanks! =] did i like say i was evil in the AN or something? cuz that word seems to be goign around a lot! =]
thanks for the review! =D sorry it finished so early for you! the next chapter shud be up soon! =] Report Review
That was really good. I reallly like Reamus/tonks, since there aren't really a lot of people that focus on them. You portrayed Remus very nicely, what with him always seeming to be really worried that him being a werewolf would do something to the baby, but he was lucky it didn't! You could definately work with a little more detail, but all in all, really, really excellent.
CoolioAuthor's Response: Thanks! When will the winner's name be posted? Report Review
This story has a pretty good start, you just need to weave the detail into the story instead of all at the beggining.Author's Response: Thanx 4 reading and reviewing. It means a lot to me.^_^
Harry and Ginny Report Review
That was amazing. I loved it. Your banner rocks too. Report Review
This was a really great chapter. I actually like the problem, but I officially think Scorpious Malfoy is a complete and total git. Report Review
This is good! I never considered Luna/Blaise...Author's Response: heehee...i love them! Report Review
This chapter was good, but not your best work. Dance lessons was much better, but this is still very good Report Review
GIRL. I KNOW IT. please!! Report Review
Hey! I was wondering... could you email me the characters you want, theme and all that by pming me to get my adress on the forums. Please erase this email after you read it.Author's Response: Hello!!!
Well, the main characters are George, Sam(whose pic is the blond version of Hillary Duff), Hermione, Ron, Harry, and Ginny.
The theme is well...post-Hogwarts Romance. There really isnt much of a theme, except heart breaking and romance and developing relationships.
Very good! Update soon!Author's Response: kk Report Review
that was amazing. This is my favorite story. Report Review
HI! Love the chapter.
Other: IdiocyAuthor's Response: Hey Sarah! Thanks for the review and I'm glad you liked it. The next chapter is just about done.
Alright one vote for idiocy. Report Review
That was Great! Update soon! Report Review
You still have a capitalization problem. Good story though.Author's Response: thanks! English language has allways been my weak point Report Review
I think you have a very good begginning here, but you definately need a Beta. You have many spelling and grammar mistakes.Author's Response: Grammar mistakes i will admit to, my spellchecker doesn't correct them. Spelling should be corrected though...at least, it doesn't say there are any spelling mistakes. Report Review
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