Reading Reviews From Member: Houlestar
  
425 Reviews Found

Review #1, by HoulestarOf Angels and Demons: Chapter 1

29th February 2012:
What you have here is definitely interesting and really sets up a scene well. It's nicely written and the chapter is 'tight' meaning that it fits all nicely without anything "hanging out of place" or feeling really un-treated. Honestly, I can't say too much about the story plot or characters, since this is the first chapter of a crossover fic sequel, and I haven't read the first story and I don't know anything about Supernatural. I don't have a lot of context for this chapter, so all I can really say is that you made a pretty interesting scene here that's well written.
-Houlestar (Anatkh @ TGS)

Author's Response: Well, thank you for doing what you could. I'm glad that you found it interesting. Thanks for reviewing!

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Review #2, by HoulestarAfter We Fall: Chapter Eight

17th January 2012:
Okay, I've read it, and I love it, and I want you to update it ASAP.

Author's Response: I'm so glad you liked it. I'm just trying to figure out how to end chapter nine and then it will be good to go. Thanks for taking a second look at the story.

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Review #3, by HoulestarAfter We Fall: Chapter One: Prologue

15th January 2012:
I decided it was about time to check out the revised version of the story.

Author's Response: Great! I hope you find it much improved :)

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Review #4, by HoulestarPrime Suspects: Confirmed Fact #2

12th January 2012:
This is my favorite chapter so far. I loved the emotions and tensions present in it, and I loved the dramatic irony present here. (I love dramatic irony, it's part of why this story is so appealing to me).

I really like how you have done Rose so far. She feels really believable, though I don't think I'd want to live in a house with her, especially if she's inviting strange boys over. Teddy really needs to do those protective charms, doesn't he?

It's been really fun to see how Teddy's portrayal of Scorpius has shifted and the times when he breaks character are really interesting. He's not acting like the Scorpius I've seen in the handful of next-gen fics I've read in the past. I don't know if that's supposed to be showing how little he knows about Malfoy or something else.

I just have to say, thanks for writing this and you'd better update soon.
-Houlestar

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Review #5, by HoulestarPrime Suspects: A Chaotic Mess

12th January 2012:
Teddy's conversation with Ron was amazing. Ron really seemed like good ol' Ron from back at Hogwarts, and Teddy's commentary on how the case was being handled was delightful. I really enjoyed reading it.

And the drama and mystery back with Rose. I really want to find out what happens next so forgive me for leaving a short review, but I'm really curious and really want to read more.
-Houlestar

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Review #6, by HoulestarPrime Suspects: In All Seriousness

12th January 2012:
Court room drama! I love the serious stuff. Perhaps I've watched too many crime TV shows and not enough drama... But your protrayal of the courtroom is definately in keeping with the genre and what we've seen in canon (not much, admittedly). So it doesn't feel strange or forced or unnatural, which is really good since most of the time when I see court scenes, there's something off about them.

Another good part of this chapter was how Harry and Ron do appear to be concerned a father/uncle. It's not overdone and not underdone. Nice job striking the balance there!

It's really nice to see little aspects of Teddy's parents come out in his personality. I always love it when authors do that, whether it's next-gen or prior gen. It makes the story a lot more fun to read, in my opinion.

No real criticisms.
-Houlestar

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Review #7, by HoulestarPrime Suspects: Off the High Horse

8th January 2012:
The interactions/conversations/reparte/banter between Rose and Teddy(Scorpius) feel really natural, and like I would image them to be. Honestly, I can't see Rose and Scorpius being friends at Hogwarts, so I find your portrayal of their relationship realistic. It's also really interesting to have Teddy's memories conflicting with how he has to play Scorpius. It really gives these scenes a dimension and depth that otherwise wouldn't be present if it was just the typical Scor/Rose or Teddy/Rose fic.

So far I'm really enjoying this story.
-Houlestar

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Review #8, by HoulestarPrime Suspects: Kung-Fu Grip

8th January 2012:
The card game was very well written. It was fun to read and an interesting reprieve from the tension surrounding the case that has been ever present in the past chapters. Very nice touch.

There was a typo when Teddy wanted to say score, you have score". There was no prior " that I could see, and you wouldn't really need it since it's in italics. So far that's to only error I've seen (admittedly, I'm not looking for them).

I'm not as good at writing awesome long reviews as you are, but I hope that you're getting something out of my reviews.
-Houlestar

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Review #9, by HoulestarPrime Suspects: Riddle Me This

8th January 2012:
I really like getting to see Ron, Harry and Draco in this story. It's really interesting to see how the characters are similar to what they were as kids and how they've changed. You've done a really good balance of the two, so it really seems like these characters grown up and not just fifteen-year-olds with an aging potion. I like the resolution you gave to the Black family drama. I always thought that after the war Narcissa and Andromeda would make up, not exactly being close, but no longer hating each other.

Harry at the end seems so much like Dumbledore. Those riddles... It's believable that Harry would take up his mentor's style, so that was a nice touch.

Well done!
-Houlestar

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Review #10, by HoulestarPrime Suspects: Assumed Fact #1

6th January 2012:
Really liked this chapter. I got completely involved while reading it (which is hard to do since I'm easily distracted by *hey look something shiny!*) This chapter had a really nice flow and very good pacing. Nicely done on that count, since that's what makes the difference between something that's fun to read and something that is painful.

Like I've said before, I haven't read many next-gen stories, so I really don't know how your characterization of Rose and Teddy as Scorpius compare to other versions, which is a good thing because I won't say "Rose doesn't seem like Rose." So far, Rose's character is interesting, and believable. She reminds me a lot of Hermione, which is very appropriate. Teddy's portrayal of Scorpius really reminded me of Snape... Don't know if that was intentional or not, but I like it.

Can't wait to read what happens next!
-Houlestar

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Review #11, by HoulestarPrime Suspects: Becoming Malfoy

6th January 2012:
Teddy's got attitude! I like it. I haven't read many next-gen fics, but none of them that I've seen have portrayed Teddy like this, and I really like this Teddy a lot. I've never before thought about the pressure that would be placed on him, but now that you bring it up, I think Teddy would probably be pressured into being an auror regardless of his own wishes. He's got a lot of big shoes to fill.

Teddy's description of his relationship with Rose was lovely. It feels very natural (It corresponds to how I feel about my much younger cousins) so it really struck a chord with me, and I have to say bravo.

This story seems very interesting. I've always been a fan of detective/murder-mystery/crime/csi tv shows, so I like the magical twist this story has on a genre I know fairly well. There's definitely a lot of potential here for a very interesting story and I can't wait to see where it goes from here.

While I understand why you've done a lot of summarizing, (wanting to get the story going) I really don't like it much. I've always been a fan of show-don't-tell when it comes to writing. I think that the story would feel a lot smoother and more complete if you fleshed out the beginning and maybe didn't rush through it.

I've got one plot-pick. DNA. Wizards have never struck me as being very scientific (more medieval), so I find it really odd that DNA was being used in the wizarding world. it just doesn't go with the setting.

Overall this is a very interesting beginning and I am excited to continue reading it. (Sorry it took me so long to get to it with the Review exchange.)
-Houlestar

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Review #12, by HoulestarInside Death: 03: Where Darkness Dwells

5th January 2012:
You're doing a good job balancing emotion, description, action and memory. They flow nicely into each other, which can be hard to do.
And here's a little cliffhanger. Oh, you do know how to set a reader up.
overall this has been a fun read. I see a lot of potential here and a lot of places you can go.
-Houlestar

Author's Response: Yippee! Thanks for that pick me up! this was a hard chapter to write so I'm glad that it read so well to you. Hopefully I go the write places haha, bad pun I know.

Thanks again! I love your challenges and your reviews have been to the point and insightful -thanks!

--NRB


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Review #13, by HoulestarInside Death: 02: My Little Ana

5th January 2012:
You're doing good job with the emotions here. In the last chapter you did really well with the homesickness, here you've done wonderfully with the happiness to be home coupled with confusion. Nicely done!
The end I found a little bit dramatic, but it's not a big deal (I'm not big on the melodrama, personally). This is just a matter of personal taste, however.
-Houlestar

Author's Response: *waves sheepishly* Sorry it took me so long to reply to these by the way!

Glad you felt that I was doing a good job handling all the emotions, Houlestar. They overwhelm me a bit too, but I feel that they all need to be expressed. You are not the only person to comment on the ending here. I will have to go back and make that more to my liking seeing as it sticks out to my readers as being not the best. Thanks for the CC, much appreciated!

--NRB


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Review #14, by HoulestarInside Death: 01: Whispers in June

5th January 2012:
Interesting place to start the main story. The first sentence was a little shaky, but other than that the story was pretty readable, with no confusion at all. Simple style is generally the best in my opinion for fan fiction.
I've never liked Pansy. I can't tell if she's exactly OOC, but something strikes me as off. Maybe it's because I've never really paid attention to her... hmm...
Draco's cousin, this shall be interesting. (It always is.)
-Houlestar

Author's Response: Hi again!!

Haha Pansy is an interesting being. She's probably on the OOC side, but I figure I would take some risks considering the news she was just dealt, the death of Dumbledore and Draco's disappearance. Hope the story stays interesting for you ;)

Thanks for reviewing!
--NRB


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Review #15, by HoulestarInside Death: Prologue: June 1980

5th January 2012:
This is a good start. Setting up your character through her mother. Very interesting way to begin. I don't think I've ever seen a McNair OC, so this'll be interesting.
You have a lot of description in this chapter, and a lot of emotion. At times, it feels a little melodramatic, but it's not extremely so (otherwise I wouldn't be reading it).
I think the story has a lot of potential.
-Houlestar

Author's Response: Hello Houlestar!

Yes, I've never seen another Macnair OD either, so hopefully this will help keep the story fresh ;) Hopefully the potential you see continues as the story progresses. Yes, it's high emotion, but I hope it's not too overbearing :/ glad you like it so far though!

Best,
--NRB


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Review #16, by HoulestarDiscovery: Discovery Unearthed

2nd January 2012:
I love your narrative style here. It's quick and to the point and it works so well for what you've got here. Your tone's very good throughout this piece. The scene you're writing is very interesting, since you have the perspective on one character, and the uncertainty over what the other character is thinking. It's a dramatic scene and very interesting. I think you've done very well with love and war. I really don't have any criticisms, only that it's short and I'd like more. : )
Thanks for entering the Femslash Challenge.
-Houlestar

Author's Response: Hello Houlestar!

Thank you!! I'm glad you liked this, and that it won your challenge (great challenge btw!) ;) sorry this took me so long to reply to. It's a lovely review and I'm glad you felt the magnitude of the piece. Very dramatic indeed. Truly a love in time of war piece. I'll let you know when there is more!

Hugs,
--NRB


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Review #17, by HoulestarMagnolias: Magnolias

2nd January 2012:
I like how you've given a disliked character a voice and made her feel somewhat sympathetic. Your narrative in her voice is really good, and definitely has a personality that works well in the story. We don't know much about Pansy and what she's like, but I feel like you've kinda got her here (though it's not my concept of Pansy, it still works well for this story, which is what counts with minor characters). You've done a really good job with the conflicting emotions and confusion that Pansy is feeling. You handle Pansy's relationships with Draco and Hermione very well, and how her feelings are complicated. Good job.
Thanks for entering the Femslash Challenge!
-Houlestar

Author's Response: Thanks so much! (incredibly delayed response!)

The challenge was fun because I've never done femslash before! And I love writing about characters that we don't know much about because there's so much more room to explore. I tried to stay as true to Pansy as possible while having her have this sort of...double life. I'm glad you enjoyed!


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Review #18, by HoulestarSummer Solstice: Summer Solstice

2nd January 2012:
This is a very nice story. Well done! I like your descriptions. They're pretty, I can see everything happening, and they really set the tone for the story. I love how you've included Natural Magic in this piece, which is something that always makes Founder Era fics so enjoyable to me. (Maybe it's just because I like those kinda of Earth-Magic stories...) You've got a sweet little scene here and with lots of nice descriptions and a definite feel of the era. It works well. The tone and imagery is consistent throughout the piece, as well as the "mood" which is something that a lot of writers struggle with, so props to you for having a solid scene.
Thanks for entering the Femslash Challenge.
-Houlestar

Author's Response: Thanks for the lovely review. This story was pretty challenging for me to write. It was a pleasure for me to enter the femslash challenge :D. It was fun to write in general.

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Review #19, by HoulestarAt Great Personal Risk: The Silver Doe

10th December 2011:
Interesting ending. I think that you should have included the reconciliation because this chapter really feels disjointed from the rest. It also would have been good to show how they get to America, since it all feels really rushed right now, and kind of out of the blue.
Overall, it's been a really good story, with lots of interesting bits, but I think that it could have definitely been fleshed out to make a really good whole. Still, good stuff in here.
Thanks!
-Houlestar

Author's Response: I'm sorry you find the chapter disjointed, though at least you think it was interesting. I did write this with the intention that the reader would feel that everything isn't quite resolved, and maybe that came across as things being rushed. This is simply the direction that my muse took me in at the point at which I was writing this story.

Thanks for all of your awesome reviews! I appreciate you taking the time to read the whole story.

academica


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Review #20, by HoulestarAt Great Personal Risk: The Damaged Flowers

10th December 2011:
Nice... This is getting really intense. I'm excited to see how this all plays out.
-Houlestar

Author's Response: Glad you enjoyed this one! :)

academica


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Review #21, by HoulestarAt Great Personal Risk: Meeting Agendas

10th December 2011:
Woohoo! Finally. This is going good. I like your take on Eileen/Tobias. This'll just be a quick review because I want to read more!
-Houlestar

Author's Response: Glad you liked this chapter! :)

academica


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Review #22, by HoulestarAt Great Personal Risk: A Long Journey Home

10th December 2011:
This was a nice reunion, though not what I'd picture with the typical Lily-Snape personalities back in place, but a definitely a good depiction of it.
Nice Narcissa twist there... though you should have shown it... but I understand why you didn't. Maybe if you ever went back and decided to put more meat into it, it'd be nice to see it there.
-Houlestar

Author's Response: I didn't want to show it because I thought it was more powerful here for Severus to just recall it, so that Lily could really see the pain he felt. I am glad you liked the reunion, and I'm curious as to what you would have written for them.

Thanks for another great review! :)

academica


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Review #23, by HoulestarAt Great Personal Risk: The Headmaster's Office

10th December 2011:
Hmm... Dumbledore's a really tough character to write. I don't think you quite hit the nail on the head with this one, but it's close enough so that it doesn't feel too jarring. (There are some stories where he just feels so OOC it's painful... not the case here though).
I like the last line. That was very good. Tehee.
As to comments in my previous reviews, 1) yes, the grammatical errors are punctuation/capitalization/etc. surrounding dialogue. It's not that big of a deal, but it'd make the story feel much more polished if that was taken care of. Of course, it's up to you. 2) When I said Severus felt weak, I meant that the transference of Lily onto him was weak. He feels like a very hollow character, now, without much motivation or real development. Perhaps it's because you've spent so much time with Lily, but I think that Severus's-Lily personality could definitely be strengthened so if feels more real.
-Houlestar

Author's Response: I'm glad you liked what I did with Dumbledore, though I kind of wonder what you think was missing. (I'm not saying my depiction was perfect, far from it. I'm just curious.)

Thanks for clarifying your comments from the previous reviews. I may go back and change it at some point in the future when I'm not working on other material. I probably won't worry about it too much, since it doesn't seem to bother too many readers. As for Severus, not a bad point there either. I guess I was in the canon mindset, where we know little about Lily and much, much more about Severus. However, since both are living in this story, perhaps I could have fleshed that out more. If I write more Snily, I'll make sure to do that.

Thanks! I always appreciate constructive criticism.

academica


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Review #24, by HoulestarAt Great Personal Risk: The Recruitment

9th December 2011:
This chapter was brilliant. I loved how you set up the scene. The description was excellent. (Mrs Black is a dear, as always). The meeting had the right pacing (which is really hard to get right). Another successful chapter.
I can't wait to read what happens next. The plot is thickening.
-Houlestar

Author's Response: Thanks! This, like the initiation ceremonies, was fun to write. I think I kind of painted a little of Bellatrix's personality onto Sirius's mother, while still trying to keep her a bit prudish and traditional. I'm also glad I got the pacing of the meeting right - you're correct, it can be hard!

Thanks for all of your kind reviews! :)

academica


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Review #25, by HoulestarAt Great Personal Risk: On Fire

9th December 2011:
This chapter was excellent. I loved your version of the Mudblood incident. It worked really well. I loved the contrast between the two initiation ceremonies, very nice touch. Still too much summary for my liking (but that's just because I want to read more of this because it is awesome). I really like what you've done with Lily. Nice transference of Snape's personality onto her. I think that Severus is a little weaker, but it's still good writing.
I've noticed a lot of errors relating to the punctuation of dialogue (which doesn't detract from the story, but would be really nice to fix up to make the fic completely awesome.)
Overall this story is kicking butt.
-Houlestar

Author's Response: I'm glad you liked how I switched around the Mudblood stuff and how I wrote the initiation ceremonies. It's been fun to think about what it would be like to be initiated in either group. I feel bad for Lily, but it's also been interesting to write her because I like angst. I'm sorry you saw Severus as weak - I suppose I was trying to contrast his goodness with the pain that dominates Lily's personality.

Again, I wish you had been a bit more specific about what errors you noticed. If you're talking about using periods instead of commas to conclude dialogue, that was brought to my attention at one point, and so I remember to change it in some stories and not in others. If there's something else, though, I'm not sure what you mean. Whatever the case, I'm glad it doesn't take away too much from the story.

Thanks for another great review! :)

academica


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