Reading Reviews From Member: serendip
106 Reviews Found

Review #1, by serendipThe Tree of Knowledge: Prologue

18th November 2008:
Ali is here, albeit slightly later but I vowed I would review before I went to bed and here I am, and 11 PM reviewing Auburn's story.

And woah. First thing I want to know is why you never made me read something of yours before. This is completely and utterly amazing, all these 2000 and something words, and by god I wan your talent. It's not fair, writing and graphics? (By the way, that banner is making me so jealous. I need to request one from you sometime). You've got the best of both worlds. (Ew. Now I'm thinking Miley Cyrus, and I hate her)

Anyway. Back on topic.

This was so completely original, Aubs! I have never heard of one quite like this. There a bits of it's I've heard, like the illness and becoming a witch, but never together and it's such a great idea I'm slapping myself for not thinking it. And the way you wrote it, by gods, I'd swear you either have had leukaemia or know someone with it (but I do dearly hope not, because that would be awful for you and the other person, if it's them who has it).

It's a perfect prologue, ending at the exact right spot and I love how you incorporated Peter Pan into it, because that's one of the most delightful books, isn't it? I don't remember it much, but when I was little my mum would read it to me, and I remember crying a lot, though as a child I did cry a lot...

Wow. So I've managed to ramble my way a lot in here, but the main point is this story is fantastic, and I love it. A lot.

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Review #2, by serendipStrictly Sports: Katie Bell: Glaring Machine

26th October 2008:
It's been two long months since an update, Lana! Ali is needing one. And soon, please. Well, whenever you have time.
Because this fic is gorgeous and addictive. The characterisation is magnificent, as well as the plot. I'm waiting to find out what's going to happen, and I want a lot of Zara/Oliver happening. So, please, whenever you have time, think of us, your faithful readers, and update.

Author's Response: Haha. Actually I have a bunch of chapter already written from the summer, but I'm lagging in the editing. Anyway, I just put the next chapter up :)

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Review #3, by serendipStrictly Sports: Nick Prosser: Nicest Sleazebag in All of England

26th October 2008:
Yeah, I noticed the tense change and got a tad confused. maybe you should change either this chapter to past, and the previous ones to present for easier reading?
Anywhoo, another fantastic chapter. (: It's basically all on the pitch, yes? I'm just being OCD here - but it's Spinnet not Spinett. Sorry, but I get OCD like that. ^___^

Author's Response: I really, really should. But I'm afraid if I go back and change the tense it'd mess up the flow of the individual chapter. Then again, having different tenses messes up the flow of the whole thing, I guess. Ahh, I'll figure it out one of these days.

Oooh. Spinnet? Got it. When I can, I'll definitely fix that. Maybe that's why Microsoft Word keeps putting the little red squiggle under it ... it secretly is a huge HP fan.

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Review #4, by serendipStrictly Sports: Introductions, Part II

26th October 2008:
Poor Zara, does she like her brother? Or is it just the competitive genes - oh! that reminds me, I forgot to say this last review, but the fact about the Russian literature is brilliant, so random, but original, and it really added some depth. ^^'
But is she going to quit now, or stick it out and prove her brother wrong? And Angelina = awesome. I love how she's mad about plants.

Author's Response: Thanks so much. Hopefully your questions will be answered in the future chapters. As for your comment about the Russian literature - haha! Thanks! It sort of just came out when I wrote it, except I didn't know a thing about Russian literature ...

Thanks for reviewing!

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Review #5, by serendipStrictly Sports: Introductions, Part I

26th October 2008:
LANA. Right, I said I'd come and review ages ago, but, um, I suck. Lots. But at least I came eventually!
So, this is fantastic, seriously. I'm not at all surprised it was featured at SAYS, and because I am a self-confessed Wood lover I had to read it.
I'm glad I did though, because it's LOVE. I love it! I love Zara's attitude, and I love how you actually gave her a reason to dislike Oliver, because so many people make their OC hate Oliver for no valid reason (I'm guilty of that -blushes-).

Author's Response: Oooh, thank you for reading! And it was featured on SAYS? I didn't know that! Wow, I feel honored :) (I find this out a month later, haha)

Anyway. I'm so glad you like it! Thank you!

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Review #6, by serendipHero/Heroine: Heroine

26th October 2008:
Let's be honest, this chapter was kind of unnecessary, but, even so, I enjoyed reading it immensely. Sometimes the flow could be worked on, like you said 'she' a few too many times, but apart from that it was sweet and fluffy, and I LOVE fluff. ^___^

Author's Response: Yeah, you're right--it was utterly unnecessary. But I wrote it anyway. :) I'm glad you enjoyed it though! And I love fluff too! Thanks for the review!

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Review #7, by serendipHero/Heroine: Hero

26th October 2008:
Okay, so I was browsing the archives as I often do, and I came across this name and I immediately knew I had to read it because the name reminded me of a song by one of my favourite band. I don't look at the ship, warnings, summary, or anything but the title because I love Boys Like Girls.
And I'm glad I like them, because if I didn't I wouldn't have found this sweet little twoshot, to which the second chapter I am eagerly waiting to read and review. And you know what makes it even better? I generally don't like Draco/Hermione, but I like this one.

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Review #8, by serendipThe Bloodening...: And in the end....(Part One)

26th October 2008:
The formatting has improved a great deal, and it's a lot asier to read now, though you seem to have changed paragraphs at random intervals, especially during dialogue.
You pick on Seamus quite a bit, don't you? And Hermione having cheerleading practice sounds a bit off, you know? For one it's quite american and this series is british, it's also not really done at hogwarts, and another is it's just not like Hermione and Ginny to be doing that.
I think you ought to have mentioned Harry/Hermione in the ships part, and I'm not sure it's likely that Harry would move on the quickly, and also, Hermione seems to cry a lot. :/
Looking forward to the next chapter. :)

Author's Response: There is alot going to be changed when i edit the rest of the story, I may change it, I may not

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Review #9, by serendipThe Bloodening...: Innocent until proven guilty

26th October 2008:
This is just getting creepy, seriously, though I suppose that's kudos for you because you want it to be scary. Again, the lack of emotion is irking me slightly, and there's still quite a few errors, but with the plot I think you've done quite well. :)

Author's Response: I'll add more emotion ok?

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Review #10, by serendipA Path to Destruction: All Hallow's Eve, 1981

26th October 2008:
Oh this was eerie! I love that you wrote it from Voldemort's Point of View, not many take the risk, but you did and it certainly paid off. That last line was brilliant:
The last words I spoke in that fleeting corpse.

They made me shiver violently, and it's a very warm night at the moment. Oh, this was truly brilliant, especially since it was written before Deathly Hallows, and held so much to canon.

Author's Response: wow. thank you so much for the review. you have no idea how much this made my day. Thank you again,


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Review #11, by serendipIn the Presence of Evil: Rain

26th October 2008:
There were a few grammar and formatting errors, not to mention quite a few spelling mistakes - have you asked for a beta over at the HPFF forums, maybe? They're helpful and know what they're doing. This chapter was a little short, and I'm not sure what the plot is yet, but I'd like to see a little more of this, I think.

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Review #12, by serendipThe Bloodening...: And then there were two...

26th October 2008:
Is this a Harry/Cho and Harry/Hermione? The last bit (before the pentacle part) made it seem so. I think it's a little unlikely that Ginny would immediately suspect her brother as the murderer - they are siblings, and would trust each other, but I like the way you set it up so that seemed possible.

Author's Response: Yeah, and no way would Ron ever murder... he's a fluffy marshmallow

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Review #13, by serendip'tis Halloween night: 'tis Halloween night

26th October 2008:
Somehow this reminded me of Shakespeare. I'm not sure how, since to be honest I've never read Shakespeare, but this did remind me of it. I think it was the fact it was in first POV, as not many people can actually pull it off, but you did. And that poem was brilliant, not as Sirius said "crap". It went a little quickly for me, but I love the way that you've implied who it was without really saying, and the way we (or at least I) would never have guessed.

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Review #14, by serendipThe Bloodening...: A splitting headache...

26th October 2008:
Be careful with the 'meanwhile's and 'later's, as they break up the story flow a bit. The chapter's short, but nonetheless I find it thrilling. Maybe show a bit more emotion for when they find Crabbe? It was rather disconcerting for Dumbledore to not seem to care so much, and simply order the body to the dungeon.

Author's Response: Ok, I'll remember to change it

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Review #15, by serendipThe Bloodening...: The Beginning

26th October 2008:
This is creepy. Really, truly, creepy. There's quite a few formatting errors, e.g. not making it a new line when a new character speaks, but the idea is so original I have to keep reading.
Does that mean Hermione's going to be after Goyle? Eep. I hope not. :/

Author's Response: Creepy my butt! I even got scared, but thanks for reading

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Review #16, by serendipHow a Heart Behaves: how a heart behaves

20th October 2008:
This is rather short for one of your usual one-shots, isn't it? But that doesn't mean it's any worse, because, as usual for a one-shot by you, it's superb.

This seemed so...evil, I suppose? It's quite hard to describe my reaction. Lily seems quite young, in all her naivety, but Rose, who's about two years older if I remember correctly, seems more mature than Lily, more than two years I mean.

I felt so bad for Victoire at the end, but one thing I have to mention is that I love how you used so little dialogue. it just made this feel so much more powerful.

Author's Response: Aw, thanks. Yes, this is shorter than my average amount of words. But the story, I think, works better like this: short and concise. I've always pictured Rose being quite mature for her age. She's the first-born and I can imagine that she, as she grew up, learned much from her mother. Yes, it is sad for her, isn't it? Again, thank you so much for your lovely reviews. They made my day (:

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Review #17, by serendipSimple Twist of Fate: and by a simple twist of fate, he knew love.

20th October 2008:
This was pretty haunting, I tell you. Now, I'm generally not one for OC/OC stories, but I though I could manage one by you, because your stories are always magnificent.

I can see this is different to your normal, but the thing I love about it is that you've managed to write something different, but still keep the 'Romina Stephanie' touch, if that makes sense (which I highly doubt). What I mean is, even though you've tried something new, it's still you and though it's not as obvious, I can see it if I look hard.

So, I'm a hopeless romantic, I know. This story is just feeding my addiction for romance stories, because it's so original, and new, and I love the characters! I love how she's mute, but you never know until the end (I don't exactly understand how she lost her voice though) and I love how he seems so big and scary, but in honesty he's a big fluffy teddy-bear on the inside.

Author's Response: There's this book I read, can't remember the title now, where one character simply began to lose the ability to speak out letters and eventually words. I don't know if it's some kind of disease, or if it's fictional, but I got the inspiration from there. Overall, thank you again for this wonderful review.

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Review #18, by serendipBeauty in the Breakdown: Beauty in the Breakdown

20th October 2008:
Seriously Steph, that was really just beautiful. I think that's the best word to describe it, especially with the title and Part III and all.

I loved the way you kept it so canon, because, being a canon stickler I get so annoyed when people portray Luna as something that's so not Luna. Your characterization here was beautiful, and sweet and so true! Especially the things about her friends, because we all know how much Luna admires her friends.

The only thing I'm not so fond of (that's not to say I don't like it, because I do!) is Part III. It's kind of hard to explain, but I don't think it's as sweet as Part I and II. But I still loved it. :)

Author's Response: Writing Luna is always such challenge, so it means a lot when you say that I managed to stick to canon! I, too, am a fan of canon. ^_^ Thank you (:

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Review #19, by serendipAn Understanding: An Understanding

18th October 2008:
Blaise and Hermione? I can't say I ever EVER imagined that. But it worked, or, rather, you made it work! Not everyone could pull it off, I bet, and still stick to canon, but you did, you amazing writer, you.

The way they considered it an understanding was the icing on the cake - no 'I'm secretly in love' things, but an actual understanding where they don't necessarily like each other...but understand each other.

Author's Response: Yay! I'm so glad it worked. Thank you for the lovely review, Ali :)

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Review #20, by serendipThere's No Such Thing As Lavender Dragons: I Hate That You're So Rude To Me

15th October 2008:
Changing POV, eh? Risky, I must say, but it's working here. (:
I love how you've shown Malfoy, because he's just funny. Blaise too, but I'm a Blaise fan, so I might be biased xP.
Poor Flitwick! *is a Flitwick fan also* I'm annoyed at Malfoy for doing that to him. :P

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Review #21, by serendipFiery Passion With The Slytherin Princess: Fiery Passion With The Slytherin Princess

15th October 2008:
This was cute and fluffy, but somehow, to me, it didn't seem believable? I dunno, it's kind of hard to explain. I just can't imagine McGonagall giving a month of detentions (where all they have to do is write an essay, albeit a long one, a night) like that. Pansy works, though, but her crying and freaking out because Malfoy looked at the veela seems a little over-the-top.

Don't get me wrong, though! I did enjoy it, but they're just some little tidbits from me. :)

Author's Response: Haha, thankyou! Dont worry, I know how you feel :P I had to get them together so this was my best excuse - Haha! I always thought McGonagall would be strict enough to do that but I dunno. Yeah, I know. I really should change that. But I have to admit that I do see Pansy as over the top. But thats just me, because I can see your point :)

No, thats ok! I know what you mean. Not everything has to be believable, especially in fan fic. I'm glad you enjoyed it though. And thanks for reading and reviewing :)

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Review #22, by serendipPretend It Was A Dream: Pretend It Was A Dream

13th October 2008:
...It's kinda fluffy? Well, fluffy or not, I loved it. Maybe it's not just the fluff I love, but maybe the author? Personally, I think it's both, because both are equally as awesome. (:

Poor Ginny. Now, let's be honest here. I do not much like Ginny. Or Harry, but that's beside the point. Back onto Ginny. She seems totally up herself in the books, and sometimes even nasty. Well, not in the earlier books but in the later ones - you know what I mean. The thing is though (yes, there is a point to my ramblings P:) with this, I actually felt sorry for her. Yes! I felt sorry for someone I dislike intensely! And doesn't that just show how awesome you are?

Author's Response: It is? Lol, I didn't think it could be fluff, but if it kinda is, that's not a bad thing. =P Thank you so much! And I wanted to portray Ginny differently than what I've seen so often in many seventh year fics, so I'm really glad that you could feel sorry for her! ^_^ ILY Ali!

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Review #23, by serendipDon't Go: Don't Go

13th October 2008:
I. Love. Fluff.
Seriously, I'm practically addicted to it, because fluff is cute, and fun and so sweet! And you wanna know what? I think fluff is even better when you write it. ^___^

This was simply adorable, how Astoria didn't actually want to go, but was trying to get him to say he loved her, but then it all backfired but was put right in the end!

I'm squeeing right now. :)

Author's Response: Ali!! Thank you so much! Fluff is fun to write, and I'm glad that you enjoy this one-shot. *huggles* ^_^

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Review #24, by serendipVeterans of Hogwarts: At the Leaky

12th October 2008:
Seriously, that girl can kick some butt, and even though at the end when they all ganged up on her the Vets came back! YAY! They all seem so cool and I'm squeeing right now. Seriously, when Ron exclaimed that they weren't kids, but the Veterans of Hogwarts, I had to 'aww'. ^_^

So, you're 500 words in. FINISH. Yes, you. FINISH AND MAKE ME HAPPY! :)

Author's Response: I love Hannah! And Neville... and the rest of them, too! I'll try to work on the final chapter next weekend when the girls are with their dad. Reviews like this make me excited about the story again! Thank you so much for taking the time to read the story, Ali, it made my whole day! :o)

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Review #25, by serendipVeterans of Hogwarts: Moving On

12th October 2008:
): They're all leaving Hogwarts now. Wow, that year passed pretty quickly, you know? I love the jobs you've given them (the ones who weren't already given a job, that is) and I LOVE the idea of Penrose! It's so original, and simply awesome!

Hermione and Ginny are so right to buy an apartment together while waiting for their boys, and I love the excuse Hermione gave as to not going on Auror training. Where is that, by the way? I know it's not a big deal, but I'm curious. P:

Author's Response: I know I rushed through the year. I don't have it in me to do a full year's worth of a story, lol. I'm so glad you liked the idea of Penrose. I actually did a lot of searching through the Lexicon to see what kind of secondary education there would be in the magical world. I was disappointed there wasn't some kind of university. I know that Hermione would not have wanted to stop going to school.

Did I not say where the guys were going to go to Auror Training? I'm pretty sure I mentioned it in Hair of the Dog (which is a companion piece), but they're in Ireland, so not too far away, but not close enough that they can pop home very often (even with Apparating).

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