Hi Jami! :)
This is a great start to what I'm sure is going to be a really cute little fic! I liked hoe you set up the background for Oliver's life and mentioning the war and how time has gone by was a nice touch. I also enjoyed how you stayed so in touch with his character - his 29 year old self hasn't changed a bit! The role of manager definitely suits him, so nice work there. It's definitely what I imagined him doing post-books.
Oh my goodness, Aidan was SO CUTE! I can find myself getting a little annoyed sometimes at children in fics because they come across as overly insightful and too grown up, but Aidan was perfect. He was sweet and charming and acted his age, and his excitement was wonderful to see. I had a big grin on my face when Oliver gave him and Mia the tickets!
And speaking of Mia, well. She's a character isn't she? Mysterious and closed off is definitely interesting, and I liked how she wasn't fawning all over Oliver and he was clearly more enamoured. I can't wait to see more of her story and character development unfold!
Great start here my lovely, I can't wait for the next chapter! :)Author's Response: Hi Jenny!! I don't even know what compelled me to start this...but I did so I suppose there's no going back now :P. Actually this story is one I've kind of been toying with but couldn't figure out who to use. And then today it clicked. OLIVER!
I'm really happy you thought I kept him the same as book Oliver. I need to reread the parts he's in or something, because I don't remember nearly enough of him.
I'm so happy you liked Aidan! I work with children, so even though I'm definitely out of my comfort zone when it come to writing Oliver, kids I can handle. Ha! I'm really happy he seemed realistic to you. I wanted a blend of slightly irritating but mostly charming going on ;).
I'm really excited that you liked this first chapter. I plan on doing a mixture of Oliver and Mia's perspective, so hopefully you'll like hers!
Thank you so much for stopping by, it put a huge smile on my face ♥ Report Review
Hi there! I love me some short stories so I thought I'd review :)
Firstly, can I just say how awesome your story description was even before I'd read anything? It might just be me but I was totally intrigued to read on. I suck at story summaries (so cliche) so well done.
As first chapters go this was great! I loved the beginning with the quite haunting and sad setting and tone. Even though Teddy/Victoire and pregnancy are two things in fanfiction that are prone to being overdone, the beginning made it less cliche which is great.
I also liked how there were perhaps little signs of a pregnancy that at first would be ignored. I was actually kind of annoyed at Neville for interrupting them because you're so right, there is nothing for seventh years to do! I hadn't even thought about it much before.
Great start here, can't wait for the next chapter :) Report Review
I am so impressed with this entry! This is a great example of using the prompts really well which you have definitely achieved. I wondered if anyone was going to take on the Iron Maiden and you managed to fit it in in the best way possible. It seems totally plausible the the Carrows and Filch are vile enough to want to use it on students. The very idea was shocking and really added to the story.
The setting you used created a really spooky and tense atmosphere - what isn't tense about being in the Forest, alone, at night? - and Padma was a great choice as the protagonist. I really liked her character development in that she'd been forced to become more brave and more like her sister in a way.
The final chase was really tense and exciting, they're one of my favourite things to read! You did a great job of keeping the pace fast and exciting and I love how she vanished the iron maiden. Ravenclaw quick thinking there :)
Great entry, good luck!Author's Response: Hi Jenny!
Thank you so much! I've never tried anything like this before and I really wanted to stretch myself - none of the 'thing' prompts were inspiring me until I looked up what an Iron Maiden was, and then this storyline emerged. I figured that the Carrows are horrible enough to think of using something like that to torture the students, as if what they already did wasn't bad enough already!
I'm so pleased I got the atmosphere right, and Padma's character development was something I wanted to get across here. I've always thought all the DA members must have displayed a lot of courage in that last year to fight against the Carrows even when they knew the costs.
Thank you for a lovely review!
Sian :) Report Review
Goodness! What a powerful story. I think you did such a good job with the prompts we provided, especially the object and setting - they were very smooth indeed. Fudge and Scrimgeour are excellent characters to put together and really lend themselves to an antagonistic relationship which is really great to read, too.
I love how devious Rufus was with the will and the meeting place and that he'd secretly planned it all out. As a character he definitely seemed like the type of person who had a 'past' in the books, I think you worked with that excellently. Fudge was his usual bumbling self by not using a Summoning Charm and just generally being outwitted by the better man. I loved it!
I definitely didn't expect the ending at all and was kinda shocked at how ruthless Rufus was about it in order to get his way. I loved the will itself too and what it said, considering the outcome of the books. It definitely packed a punch!
Great entry here :)Author's Response: Hi!
I'm glad the individual characters, object, and setting worked well - that was a concern of mine, considering how "out there" all of them were. It was a brilliant challenge, by the way. :)
It was fun to dramatize both Rufus and Cornelius's characters in this scene, so I'm glad you liked it as well!
Thanks for the review!
-ShadowRose (Taylor) Report Review
This is a great entry! I really loved how you set the scene so well at the beginning and you really set the mood too; it felt tense and I was wondering what was going to happen next. Then the enormous stuffed penguin turned up and I burst out laughing! Nice way of getting the object requirement in, haha.
As it's from Grindelwald's point of view I like how that provided some extra character and background to what happened that night with Ariana and I love your interpretation of his feelings - the fact that he only felt remorseful in the last moments of his life rather than in the clearing made it all the more powerful. His transformation from scared to truly dark again was great too.
Although it was pretty funny having the penguin there as some kind of embodiment of Ariana, I thought you did a really good job of her too. I thought there could have been some more character development for her by perhaps going into her thoughts and feelings about the night more but on the whole she set a great moral standard here.
This is a great entry and I wish you luck! :)Author's Response: Thank you very much!
Of all the selections, I chose the enormous stuffed penguin first.
From reading HBP, you saw how Professor Dumbledore had been affected by his sister's death when he was forced to drink the Drink of Despair. It was then reiterated in DH when you saw how Aberforth had been affected. But there was no mention about how Grindelwald had been affected except for that he ran away that very day only to emerge as a Dark Wizard years later. I chose to give him the benefit of the doubt that he finally felt remorse when he refused to tell Voldemort where the Elder wand was since he had spent about half his life in prison.
That is a good point. I will have to think how to include memories of Ariana and her innocence into the storyline.
Thank you very much! Report Review
So... this was awesome. Seriously. I think the style you've written in completely suits the piece and makes it so much more personal then first or third person. Also the evolution of Severus that you show is just great, I loved seeing how his attitude towards his family life changed but at heart he was still afraid of his father, who was an omnipresent force in the story without even introducing him - good job as it made him a lot scarier.
The introduction of Lily was really cute and sweet and really showed her as the light of his life from the very beginning. I also liked how he reached the conclusion that his mother was inferior to Lily in a way, which is interesting considering she is supposed to have a protective role. There are a lot of interesting questions raised by the themes in this. It's definitely interesting to see someone who feels let down by their 'protector' of sorts rather than being close to them.
In short I loved this, I think you captured the essence of Snape and Lily perfectly! :)Author's Response: Hi darling! I have no excuses for why this took so long to respond to :(. I'm so sorry!
I'm so happy you liked this ♥ it was absolutely a challenge to write, and thank you so much for nominating it for SotM!! ♥
I really enjoyed the challenge of writing Severus. I'm not sure I'll ever do it again, but I'm also not saying I wouldn't ;).
Thanks again for this awesome review, and I hope you don't take my terrible amount of time that it took to respond to it as any lack of appreciation. I've been staring at it in my unanswered reviews, and just wanting to leave it there forever.
Thanks again ♥
Jami Report Review
YAY! SO HAPPY! An amazing story has finally come to an amazing end *sniff* so emotional right now! It was perfect. Seriously. Loving that Matthew and Rose are together now (forget the lawyer, although that was definitely a red herring) and they are ridic cute. THEY MUST HAVE CHILDREN IN THE SEQUEL! Ahem.
I thought the whole seeing the baby at Shell Cottage was done really well and didn't make the epilogue a sugar-fest. It was bittersweet, and it was good to see Teddy there just so we could hate him a bit more. So many stories make a point of idolising him so it's nice to see a different angle being taken with him. I actually really loved Albus in this too, although I only just realised this now. He definitely needs to have a bigger role in the sequel because I love him and that's enough reasoning, right?
Victoire is such a babe in this. I love how Rose has really gone on a journey when it comes to Victoire in that she went from hating/envying her to "admiring" her as you put it, so of course now I love her too. She is handling things remarkably well though, I would have gone a little bit insane to be honest. Though maybe that's just me. :P
And last but not least, SCORP. The character you have made me despair over the entire bloomin' time. (Still hate you.) Gotta say that his bit was hilarious, knitting club? Really? Sounds right up my mum's street... Though I'm glad that he's moved on and that they're just friends. And that he's a little bit less weird in this. There's hope yet...
AMAZING work lovely, this is one of my favourite stories ever and I've loved every minute of it. Thank you for writing such a wonderful story and I LOVE YOU! Report Review
Another mushy chapter! Luckily I love mush, so we're golden. It was good to see everything sort of 'coming together' again, what with Molly and Rose sharing the flat again and hearing Victoire's thoughts on everything. Although Lorcan annoyed me, he should be happy that his girlfriend has made up with her best friend! Hmph.
I actually can't think of anything else to say because I can't even tell you how excited I am to read the epilogue!! Report Review
Oh goodness, so emotional! :'( you did Boris' funeral very well, dear. Although I half expected something weird to happen there because it seems like Boris would have wanted something like that to happen. :P
I'm definitely thinking that Scorp and Rose are just gonna be friends from now on, thank goodness. Ever since you ruined Scorp for me I have secretly hoped this (unless Scorp magically turned into a Greek god overnight). Matthew and Rose - didn't see that coming really, I was thinking the lawyer more?! Hmm. Still two chapters to go...
And the bit with Dominique in was cute too. She really needed to redeem herself somehow, although I still think of Teddy as the real villain in the whole situation. Still, no more giant Weasley get togethers, right?
LOVED IT Report Review
Well, some serious dramz went down here eh?! At least it's all out in the open now. Poor Victoire and Dom to be honest. Thank goodness you didn't do the stereotypical misogynistic view where the man gets cut all the slack. FEMINISM!
I'm also pleased that Rose finally saw him for what he was too, so that she can move on and make way for some more romance ;) oh and family dinners are gonna be the height of awks.
LOVESAuthor's Response: DRAMZ. Haha I know, I think I went a bit cray cray on the feminism. Never mind, he needs to pull his socks up. Report Review
I HATE YOU.
THAT IS ALL.
Okay not really. But BORIS! HOW COULD YOU! He was such an integral part of the story :'( I'm crying.
Apart from that, I'm glad Molly and Rose have made up and that she actually apologised first too. They are so stubborn! Also Scorp was hilarious as usual, the creeper. Still, not happy :'( I don't think I ever will be again :'(
LOVE YA Report Review
You are so clever! I'm not lying, either. Nothing particularly exciting happened in this chapter, but that's what so great about it. It's a wonderful set-up plot-wise for the events that I'm sure are to come - perfectly ordinary, but detailed to the maximum. It just flows very naturally from one chapter to the other.
I also liked seeing more of Henry/Rose - totes gunning for those two now. Scorp can go away (only in this fic though, in all others he is a god). I hope to see more of them in the future. And Molly needs to apologise IMHO, I would feel exactly the same as Rose if that happened to me. HMPH
*swans off*Author's Response: What do you mean, nothing particularly exciting! - was my first response but then I saw that you were reviewing chapter 31, not 32 and I got less offended. Haha. Yes, this was a nice interlude between all the drama. And it gets a bit cray cray from here on out. Just don't hate me, okay?
No comment on Henry and Rose. :P Report Review
This was such a beautiful and poignant piece that I actually got goosebumps and a lump in my throat. Seriously. Firstly seeing this through Minerva's eyes was a brilliant idea - as a matriarch of sorts who rarely shows emotion in canon, seeing her weakened and vulnerable is truly fantastic. You wrote her character excellently, probably the best I've seen here.
Addressing each of the Marauders was also done brilliantly, and seeing how each event affected the different people involved was just so sorrowful. Lily and James' funeral almost made me cry - your description paired with Minerva's grief is just too much. It's beautiful.
The final line gives a very poignant end to a brilliant story. The fact that Remus will too be lost even though he is the last one standing is so sad. :(
I seriously loved this!Author's Response: I love hearing how my stories affect people. It reminds me that my writing can still impact people.
Minerva was the perfect character for this story that I wanted to tackle, especially looking at her role in Portraits of Courage. She is definitely motherly - I feel like she can't go through each year without getting to know her students and developing bonds with them. Thank you about your comments on her characterization. That means a lot to me.
I really wanted to focus on each of the Marauders but in a subtle manner. I didn't want this story to be too overwhelming, but I wanted it to mean something in a short, simple way.
It does make me sad that Remus is lost too, eventually. That she will see them all from their school years to their deaths, that they all lost their lives to the same cause. It's terribly sad.
I'm really glad you loved it. Thank you so much for your review. :) Report Review
Again, this is just awesome. Although it was somewhat jumpy in its topic and writing style, it didn't detract from the story and reading a fic from Lavender's point of view is really refreshing to see.
The way you played her character was absolutely superb. You managed to give her a depth that's unseen in the book and gave her a real reason for being in Gryffindor. Her situation with her fertility was really heartbreaking, but knowing that she would pull through it gives the reader a light at the end of the tunnel.
Your writing style is excellent, and the description really added depth to the story as a whole. I also enjoyed the structure of the story, as we see Lavender's change from a silly little girl to a strong young woman. It was really great to see.
Fabulous stuff!Author's Response: Eee thank you! This one-shot was a huge let's-try-everything, and I had very few plans about it, but I ended up loving Lavender. It's become sort of this theme in my writing - I love writing about different ways people can be strong, especially the lesser-liked characters, and flesh out the bravery between the cracks.
♥ Report Review
Oh goodness. This was so full of emotion, it literally poured from it! The love triangle, or even square was just incredibly done and it made me really root for Molly and Teddy (which is a super unusual pairing which is awesome).
The fact that Victoire and Teddy eloped seemed to me as a point of Victoire trying to get one up on Molly and showed the rivalry between women in general, especially those who are related/friends. Excellent work here on showing the complexities between human relationships.
I think Molly was my favourite character in this for definite. Even though she was getting married she seemed to sad throughout the whole thing, and your detail of her childhood was just too cute. I really loved reading it. Her little scene with Teddy really added more depth to her character also and made her more dimensional, which is great to see.
Lovely work here :)Author's Response: I was blown away to see the two review that you left for me during the review-a-thon yesterday. Thank you so, so much.
This story was something I was once very proud of, so thank you for reminding me that it existed (if that makes any sense... you know how sometimes you can forget about older oneshots?) I'm glad you enjoyed the twisted relationships here.
Thank you again,
Melissa Report Review
Wow, this was so expertly done. It was so dreamy and ambiguous that at first it wasn't clear what was happening, but it became much clearer when the other characters were introduced I thought.
Your description of the setting and in general was seriously stunning. It created the most wonderful imagery of beaches, soft winds and seas, it was incredible and definitely sounded like heaven. I loved it, the description was probably my favourite part of the story.
Seeing it from a dead Victoire's point of view was really good too, because it created a barrier between her and the living that was very sad but necessary I think. To see her family and friends mourning for her was very well done also.
Great work here :)Author's Response: Dreamy and amibuous!! I'll take those compliments all day long. :) It was lovely to see a review for this old story, thank you so much!! I really appreciate it and I'm glad that you enjoyed this.
-melissa Report Review
Another amazing story! Although it was short you managed to fit in a lot about the characters, their relationship as well as a plot. The sort of childishness that the two of them demonstrated was also really cute and made their relationship more believable.
What I especially liked about this was the lack of perfection that you deliberately wrote for the characters - it makes them and the relationship between them so much more realistic and elevates your writing. Well done!
I actually really liked the structure of this with the brackets and short sentences, although some people might not like the stop-and-start approach you used I think it fitted in perfectly.
Great work here :) Report Review
This was so so so beautiful. I am adding this to my favourites asap. The colour imagery was just stunning, the relationship between Scorpius and Dom was so subtle yet spoke volumes, and your writing style is beyond excellence.
The ethereal, whimsical nature of the piece and the flow and feel of the story was just perfect. Despite the slight lack of setting, I could picture it perfectly. The again subtle closeness of the two was amazing, especially with the continuation of the colour imagery used to demonstrate it.
This was amazing. Perhaps one of my favourite things on the entire archives, Loved it. Report Review
YES! A Teddy/Rose, which is one of my most recent favourite pairings! The way you wrote this was literally so clever. Like, wow. The fact that we have to start at the bottom and yet it still works if you read it the other way... that is some serious skill there. You should totally be proud of this.
I was so sad that Teddy was breaking up with Rose, though. The fact that she didn't believe him at first makes it all the more sadder. The way she leaves, although somewhat submissive of her is very melancholy also. I just wish I knew why he was ending it. There wasn't much information as to why there were, and I just would have liked to have known. Not a big thing though.
Good job :) Report Review
Wow! Although this was a very ambiguous fic that leaves a lot to the reader to fill in for themselves, this was brilliant and cleverly done. I was never entirely sure whether Hermione was writing a letter or whether it was just her stream of consciousness, which is probably part of the plan and if so, it was excellent. There was enough mystery to feel content but not frustrated.
You also presented the Next Gen in a very different way to how they're normally presented, as well as pairing Rose with Lysander which is very usual. It's great to see them as an 'imperfect' family despite all of their successes, and Hermione's sadness really came across in this.
This also opened a ton of unanswered questions that will never be answered - where is Harry? Why did he go? Is he actually dead? Etc. Like I said, it was just mysterious enough to not be frustrating but I do wish I knew the answers!
Anyway, this was really unusual and great. Loved it! Report Review
Another lovely and well-written piece. However I must start off with the fact that I had a real time deciphering just what character were involved in the story, which was probably your intention but it did really confuse me the entire time I was reading it! Then when I saw the final lines it all finally made sense :P
The whole piece had a very fairytale quality to it what with the princes, princesses and towers that were mentioned, which is very fitting to the time period in the fic. Your writing flows excellently and there is a beautiful amount of detail in your work that makes the setting and characters detailed and easy to imagine.
The relationship between the two was also really heartbreaking to read and had this 'star crossed lovers' feel to it which was great!
On the whole this was a very interesting piece. Well done! Report Review
This was absolutely brilliant. The setting and description at the beginning of the story was just beautiful and was written excellently, making the whole story sound very ethereal which is somewhat fitting.
I also liked how you gave Cho and Cedric much more human qualities than most authors would, like the fact that she has no sense of direction and his nervousness - something we don't see in the books simply because Cedric is not the focus of the story.
The latter half of the piece really is heartbreaking to read. I really felt for Cho and what she'd been through. Her emotions really came across in this, you did this excellently.
The only thing that bothered me in the slightest was the line "A wind rustles through, ejecting small butterflies into the sky". I thought 'ejected' was a weird phrase to describe butterflies, but that's just me :P
Beautiful work!Author's Response: Hello! Thanks so much! I really adore this pairing so it means a lot that you liked it :) I'm so glad you thought the emotions came across especially as Cedric can only have a small appearance in this and as the piece itself is quite short.
The ejecting bit was meant to describe the butterflies taking off. I guess I see how it could sound a bit strange. But I'm happy you liked the piece!
Thanks so much for reviewing! Report Review
The setting and descriptive language was absolutely beautiful in this and really made the story what it is: fantastic. I was able to picture myself there and see everything that was happening. There was also quite a natural, earthy quality to the description also, if that makes sense. It just reminded me of nature quite a bit.
The relationship between Teddy and Victoire was also lovely to read. There were elements of childishness and memories linked to their past paired with the present that really strengthened the reader's portrayal of their relationship, which whether or not it was intended you did excellently.
The actual structure of the piece and the repetition of particular lines also really added to the story as it gave it a somewhat cyclical nature and added a sort of 'eternal' aspect to their love. It was lovely to read!
Fab work :) Report Review
It's really interesting to read a story from a second POV, as they're quite tricky to do, but I think you pulled it off brilliant. I also applaud you for using an obscure pairing - Dom/Lysander definitely isn't something I'd consider usually.
Your writing style is very eloquent and is simply lovely to read. I really enjoyed the quite clinical way of writing with the lists and 'sub points' - it felt very matter-of-fact and was really interesting to read.
Although this isn't a major points, I would have liked to have seen a little more setting, just even a detail of where they were, what they were looking at etc, but it's just fine without it. I'm just nitpicking really!
Great work :) Report Review
Wow. Just wow. I absolutely LOVE post-apocalyptic style stories in this fandom, and you totally did this justice. The setting was so vivid I could imagine myself there and could picture everything that Harry was seeing. The fact that he named his horse after Dumbledore was a nice touch too that really elevates the story.
The quite horrifying things Harry has seen paired with 'Them' creates a real atmosphere of fear and terror, which leaves the reader wondering what exactly has happened and provides just enough mystery for it not to be too much. The fact that they're more feared than Voldemort really says something.
It's also really cool to see magic being useless against whatever they are, because that brings all the characters down to a more human level which is really interesting to see.
I can't wait to read more! Report Review
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