I say that the chapter is absolutely amazing, just like that the rest of the story.
Oh gosh, did I mention that I read everything before this chapter altogether? It was brilliant~!
I'm pretty sure that this is my first review for this fanfic, so I'm going to stuff a bunch of thoughts here.
First of all, I love how realistic and strong you made Kylie to be as a character. She's just so blunt and out there all the time, and the banter between her and Sirius is just so cute.
And then I love all the OCs you have in there, such as Bryson and Jaz (oh pink hair =D), who are astonishingly real. And then Sirius! I'm a huge fan of Sirius/OC fanfics, and I just love the way you've been writing Sirius. He's so amusing, hilarious even, and so playful the whole time through.
And now that I'm finally done raving on and on about how much I love your story, haha I just want to say that I can't wait until your next update! Keep it up!Author's Response: Thanks for the review!
That must have been a really long read! Twenty... three chapters now? All four thousand words plus?
I've tried to make Kylie a breathable character - the kind that's round, that adjusts as time passes and is basically someone that you could know in real life. Kylie is a leap before she looks person, not the kind to let things go unsaid; like you said, she's basically all out there. I also attempt to make dialogue realistic, so hopefully I've done a good job with that one!
Sometimes I worry that it's hard to keep track of OCs, so it's good that you like mine! I got really tired of everyone writing Sirius as a self-centered jerk, so I thought that I would make him nice this time! Like Kylie, I've tried to make him breathable as well.
There's nothing wrong with raving - nothing at all! I'm glad you enjoyed it as a whole! Report Review
Yes, I should definitely review more.
I seriously absolutely love this story though. It's one of the few that make me extremely impatient for the next chapter, while knowing that it'll be worth the wait. Ah I miss Al already. Keep going, and I can't wait to read what you have ready next! Report Review
Haha absolutely loved this. The howler was extremely cute, with the whole way that Ron insists that he's "Scorpion". I can't wait until the next chapter =D. Brilliant job.Author's Response: Thank you so much for such an amazing review!!! I loved the howler as well (: And Ron will be Ron haha! Next chapter is in validation right this moment Report Review
Wait... wait wait wait, don't abandon it!
I seriously love this story! I love the plot, the idea, the way you write it... everything! So don't give up on it? XDAuthor's Response: That makes me happy. It really does. =]
Thanks for the review! Report Review
Lovely lovely song -breaks out into applause-.
How can I resist saving her then?
I really love the story so far, and I can't wait to read more (which means update soon!). Love your word choice by the way >Author's Response: haha i'm glad you like the song. :) my beta and i have a lot of fun together even though we live in two different hemispheres. I'm so glad that you like it. I can't believe that you've read the whole thing tonight. THanks so much for reading and reviewing. I hope you stick with it. Knowing me i'll probably have the next chapter up within three or four days. I'm quick like that. Report Review
Oh my, we can't have that can we? Josefina must live!
Wow, I'm really starting to like this story, and I'm only on Chapter One XD. I didn't comment on the Prologue, but I have to say that I really loved the way you wrote it, about how your "only one" could be just a friend instead of your lover and how you described the things that they would do. I really like the details you put into the story as well ^^. Haha, I'm going to skip along to the next chapter now, look out for a review later.Author's Response: aww thanks so much! I'm so glad that you like it. Yay. This makes me happy! :) the last chapter i just added has a Josefina song for her. Report Review
Wow, love this story so far. As usual, your way of writing the main charrie's thoughts is very interesting to read, and I love the characters you've created. Haha, update soon please!Author's Response: Dear Fallingstar,
Thank you so much! I'm so happy that you like it!
Your Obedient Servant,
The Phantom Report Review
Omgsh great story! Keep on going! I can't wait to read what comes next! Report Review
Wow. Okay I love this story. It's brilliant. I've been reading for a long time (sorry for the lack of reviews) and I really like this story from beginning to end! Great job!Author's Response: Thanks! No worries =P Report Review
Just because you said pretty pretty please >Author's Response: thanks!!! =D Report Review
Hahaha just because you asked...
Hey this is good!
Hehe I love your banner too! It truly is wonderful! But yeah, I'm really interested in how this chapter is going to turn out. Great job with what I've read so far ^^.Author's Response: thanks!!! haahhaa. i know, the banner is awesome. i owe it all the tomfoolery129! Report Review
Haha I loved it even though it was terribly short. I love your fast updates though, it makes reading this so enjoyable. Can't wait for the next chappie ^^. Report Review
I like this story already. Keep on going.
I think you can go into more detail sometimes, I mean it just seems like it's rushed in some parts. Maybe a beta would be a good idea for the typos and things? But I like your style of writing, and I really want to see what happens next. Report Review
Wow I just read the whole story from beginning to end, and I have to admit, even though I usually hate AU stories, this one was fantastic. I love how childish and cute Harry acts, and how Severus can be so nice to him.
Really great job, and I can't wait to read the rest!Author's Response: Thanks - I'm glad you liked it.... there will be quite a bit more of 'rest' :-) Report Review
Wow great beginning. I like the sounds of her already. Keep on going!~Author's Response: I always wanted to make a character in a story just like me, so I did! I even used my own name! I'm such a nerd. But I am glad that you liked the story. I'm going to continue pretty soon as soon as my computer gets over some kind of harddrive deletion stupidity. Report Review
Hehe I liked this chapter.
Gretchen is so mean right now... hmm...
Although I thought you could have let Lorelei come to her conclusions a little slower, instead of figuring out so fast. But that's just me, and the chapter is great anyways. Can't wait for the next one.Author's Response: Conclusions about what? Report Review
The story isn't getting worse at all!
I don't know, I'm probably just someone that doesn't usually doesn't review, but really, I liked the way the story is going.
-hug?- Report Review
Wow. I really like where this story is going so far. I can't wait to read the next chapter!
Keep on going!Author's Response: thanks lol Report Review
Oh I love this already! I mean really, great plot, and it really makes me want to read more.
I'm not really good at reviews (okay to tell the truth, I'm not good at them at ALL), but I just want to tell you that it'd be great if you continued instead of keeping this as an one-shot. I mean, I bet there are tons of people out there that would just love to continue reading this once they give it a chance ^^. Hehe, hope this is at least a LITTLE help xD.Author's Response: Well thank you! You're probably better at reviews then I am, I mean, look how long this is!!! But I will definitely keep this going, and I will start on the next chapter as soon as possible! Thanks for your review! Report Review
Wow. Brilliant start to the story. I kept forgetting to review on your previous stories... oops? I really like the sound of Ava so far. -runs off to the next chapter-.Author's Response: Thank you!! Report Review
Ah, finally! Muahaha, yay! It is a lot happier than most chappies, great job! I really love this story xD.Author's Response: Uh-oh, why the evil laughter? I'm glad I succeeded in writing a chapter that isn't brimming over with angst, for once. Report Review
Oh is the last part yours too? I really really like it. Sorry I really like anything that resembles a poem in anyway and when it IS a poem, that just grabs my attention? Hehe, oh and sorry if I don't review a lot. I keep forgetting and rush to the next chapter xD.Author's Response: Tehe, yupp! I write ALL of my stories, poems included. I am quite glad that poems catch your attention too, I think they add a little more depth to the character's emotions, no? Lol, or I just like writing poems...
Its okay about reviewing, I completely understand! There's no time to review when you've got a story you like! Report Review
Aww... boy problems? Seriously wish you luck on that...
If it helps any, I really love this story and what you're doing with it. I meant it before when I said that you hardly get anything this original often, great work.Author's Response: they sort of worked out? eh, confusing
I'm glad you like it so much! and I'm definitley glad you think it's a breath of fresh air and original!! Report Review
Whee love potion is finally coming in! Hmm...Author's Response: I know! Finally! :D It's one of the things I've been looking forward to writing since beginning this story! :) Report Review
Ah I love this! Seriously, I just finished reading from beginning up to here!
To tell you the truth, I found this in the Top 5 and I was like, hmm... why not try it out? But really, wow. Really great job, can't /wait/ until the next chapter xD.Author's Response: Thanks! I was hugely smiley when i found i was in the Top 5- I didn't even know there was one! Thanks for the review! Report Review
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