I almost cried when this finished. I've grown up with this story too... I began reading it in seventh grade and I'm now in my last year of high school. This story is truly the best piece of fanfiction I've ever read. I don't care that it's no longer canon (and usually I'm pretty nit picky about that) and I love the way you developed the characters. As much as I would have loved to read their lives pan out, I'm very pleased that you chose not to. I hate reading their deaths. Plus, all the canon stuff after doesn't quite fit this story for me. The story just kind of grew on its own and doesn't fit into the time line. Also, your ending line was also reminiscent of the last line of Deathly Hallows, "All was well." which similarly left a lot to the imagination (or lack there of, in your case). I will say that I have faithfully read every update since I discovered this story at about chapter 30 something even after I stopped reading fanfictions. You should really consider becoming an author, even if only as a hobby. You truly have a gift. You have a way with emotions and characters that not many have. I dare to say you might even be better at it than JKR (blasphemous, I know). Even though I almost cried when I saw the update, I think you ended it very well. I don't feel sad that it's over now. It was time for you, this story, and me to all move on to something new. Thank you for all the years you've put into this story and for actually finishing it. I'm sure I'm not the only one whose life was greatly affected by it. I'm never going to run from a commitment again thanks to you and Lily. Job well done.
- Lemon Report Review
I'm not sure if this was your intention, but I really liked how Lily's new attitude affected her outlook on life. This whole chapter was so much lighter simply because she was determined to make amends and fix her life. She just didn't want to live with the crap anymore. And then the last chapter with Henn as her catalyst set this up perfectly. Although, I must say, the whole Dorcas interaction was a little cliche and Mean Girls-esque. On the whole a wonderful update as was the last, although I failed to review it. The only scruple other than Dorcas, would have to be that she didn't get to making amends with James. I completely understand that she has to fix everything with everyone else first, so the next chapter probably won't see her jumping into his arms, and instead fixing Sirius and fixing her relationships with Grace and Gaby. But, as long as her new mindset doesn't fade, I will certainly be pleased (because that means that she WILL fix things with James, and soon).
- Lemon Report Review
This is a delightful story. Perfectly quiet. But, before you think that's an odd compliment, let me explain . . . this story cut out the usual dramatic, cliched crap most Lily and James stories have bursting out of every random broom closet visit and hallway debacle. I liked this story for its simplicity. It was just real. And real life doesn't have that much drama. (Well, at least my life doesn't)
I realize that you are worried you ended too abruptly, and I think, in a way, you did. But, the ending was perfect for it's purpose. Abrupt endings sometimes just fit, hence why many people did not find it abrupt at all! It especially works since their lives and perspectives are about to change completely and their relationship is about to turn. And, having a sequel after this one doesn't hurt either. ;)
I think I know what your next two stories are going to be called . . . just a guess, but Twice Defied and Thrice Defied? Perhaps too presumptive, but it makes sense . . . especially if you are going to end each story in a similar way . . . defying Voldemort and then leaving before the consequences hit and their lives are turned 180.
I thought it was odd (yet brilliant) that Dumbly didn't want them to join because they were too young . . . no author has ever considered this possibility! It was an entirely novel idea, but the more I think on it, the more it makes sense . . . most stories have Dumbledore ask them while they are still in school! That's just too young!
Anywho, goodluck with the 3(?)/4(?) sequels . . . :)
LemonAuthor's Response: Hi, Lemon! Thanks for the review.
That's actually a lovely compliment. :) I think that making it drama-free (at least free of the unnecessary kind) and realistic was pretty much my main goal as I was writing this. So, of course, to hear that you think I managed that is amazing and wonderful and every synonym in the book! :)
Yeah, I'm still not too sure about the ending. You're right, of course, that having the sequel coming takes a lot of the pressure off, but I feel like I'm kind of copping out by leaning on that. :/ But I suppose you're right, that abrupt endings sometimes work in their own way, and though I'm a little iffy about the way I handled this, I do also like it for many reasons.
I don't think you're being too presumptive at all. ;) I think that's a very rational assumption to make, in fact.
Dumbledore's reaction was another thing I was feeling uncertain about, so it's a relief to hear that you thought it made sense. In some ways, I think Dumbledore would very much want Lily and James to join. They're both talented, brave, and anti-Dark Arts. Plus, the Order was outnumbered in the First War by quite a bit, so I think that the desperation to find allies may have played into it slightly. I tried to plant this tension between him and Dearborn throughout the story, though subtly--I think that Dearborn was eager to let James (and later Lily) try their own strength. I think that, as their teacher, he saw their abilities and got more of a sense of where their loyalties lay, so he was confident about them joining the Order. On the other hand, I feel that Dumbledore would have been worried about their age, and was only gradually persuaded over time to ask them to be a part of the Order. When something so disastrous happened as a result of the meeting, I think his anxieties returned. I'm sure other authors have written it this way before (if not, I'd be really surprised), but it's great to know that you thought it was an original way of writing it.
And, just to clear up the confusion, there will be three sequels. :) Though don't quote me on that, in case I change my mind, haha.
Thank you again! Report Review
I think the awkwardness you felt while writing this transferred beautifully into the awkwardness of graduating. Because graduating really is awkward. You have no clue as to what your life will look like and you don't know if anything you've imagined or dreamed will actually happen. And, to top it off, you have no clue if you'll ever see these people you've lived with for a good part of your life ever again. It's awkward. I thought this chapter was perfect. I loved how unconventional it was. There was no 'end of the year prank' or any out-of-the-blue proposal. Now, I'm not saying those are bad, just overdone (but amazing when done well, I must say). But I digress, yours had none of this cliche, and conveyed their last days in a novel way I'm glad I had the pleasure to read.
It's just such a shame that an author who took the time to go to JKR's web page and read all those extra characters that never made it would forget that the boats fit three. (Correct me if I'm wrong, but I could have sworn it was three!) Of course, I'm only kidding about that . . . (I suppose you could just call me one of those 'canon-nazis' ;) )
Anywho, lovely chapter (the slow ones always surprise me . . . they just kinda make me smile and simply relax. No drama you know) and good luck on your exams!Author's Response: Hi there! Thanks for coming back to read and review!
Okay, first I'll address your comment about the boats: OOPS. Seriously, that's completely my mistake. I don't know why I had it stuck in my head that it was only two per boat (movie contamination, perhaps? I haven't watched the first movie in years, though), but you are definitely correct; I went back and checked in the books and Hagrid is saying "no more than four to a boat". So, yeah, OOPS. I'm going to go back and fix it ASAP, because I think I can just tweak it slightly and it will then be canon-compliant.
And thank you very much for pointing it out, too. I've been realizing lately how nice people have been in reviewing by not nitpicking things to death, because I went back and read some earlier chapters and noticed several spelling/grammar mistakes in places. I need people to keep me on my toes and not let me carry on with inaccurate things sitting in the story! :)
Okay, on to your other fantastic comments. I'm thrilled that you found the chapter to be such a good reflection of the feelings surrounding graduation. It never really crossed my mind to do anything huge and elaborate for the end of their school year. I think in the case of a prank, I was sort of feeling like the boys actually, truly would have moved on from that. Not that I think they developed some kind of stiff-upper-lip in the space of a week or two, of course--but I think it relates to what I wrote in Lily's POV about having a feeling of exclusivity and importance that kind of detaches you from not only the younger students, but even the triviality of school in general (because, let's face it, a lot of it IS trivial). I think the boys would still be the fun-loving, reckless people they always were, but I think that being on the brink of leaving school would make them feel a bit beyond playing pranks and the like.
And as for a proposal, I've seen that done, but often it occurs in stories where James and Lily have been dating before the Christmas holidays. Here, of course, they've only been dating for a few months--
Wait, sorry, have to interject...I just realized that, funnily enough, their first date was on April 4th, same as today! :P Crazy! Anyway, that gives you a point of reference for how long they've been dating--from now until the end of June. It's not really too long, so I think that a proposal would be premature in the context of this story. Besides, I have other plans for that part of the story. ;)
Overall, I'm so, so glad you found this a pleasant read. There were parts that were less-than-pleasant to try and write, so to know that the end result was something you enjoyed is just great. And thank you so much for the lovely review, and the good luck! :) Report Review
Direct quote from Scholastic interview:
Question: What position did James play on the Gryffindor Quidditch team? Was it seeker like Harry, or something different?
J.K. Rowling responds: James was Chaser.
Wow some people are daft. It wasn't even ever mentioned in the books. All McGonnagall ever says is that he was "an excellent Quidditch player himself." (PS/SS 152) She even mentions in some other interview that she was mad about the movie mucking that detail up. I must say, I'm very pleased at least one fanfiction can get this detail correct. That always bothers me when people make him seeker just because he stole that stupid snitch. Well, snitches are smaller (thus easier to fiddle with) than a quaffle yes?
And by the way, excellent emotion. Report Review
Mkay, so, apparently there is now a character limit. Phoey.
Those meanie-butt twat berries.
~ Lemon Drop :PAuthor's Response: LAME. :( makes me sad... Report Review
I'M BA-ACK! You know you missed me. he-he.
Anyways, enough about me (as awesometasticalistic as I am), and on to you and your phantasmagoric stories! (Awesometasticalistic word, no? *waggles eyebrows* . . . hmmm . . . whenever I use that I think of bushy eyebrows. not very attractive. Whatever.)
Your story never fails to make me hurt my diaphragm (especially now that track season has started. owie! push-ups are e-e-e-e-e-e-e-evil.)
I love how you've reintroduced hilarity to Jazz and Snuffles long and treacherous story. It just made my day. I couldn't stop laughing and smiling even though I have this ridiculous pimple on my chin that hurts like a lawn mower's spinny blades trying to cut a pipe bomb.
At least it doesn't *look* bad, it just sends spasmodic bombs of stabbing pain anytime I try to move my mouth. I think my annoying pimple (whom I'm dubbing Joe Shmoe Oh-owww . . . ) would be an accurate metaphor for Jessie's current position.
I mean, really, Dumbledore?? You just had to go there didn't you? *sigh* I think your old bud Roddy is taking over your story because he hasn't been included in this story thus far. *hint, hint*
I feel kinda sorry for Sirius though. I mean, he thinks she's DEAD for the Grinch's sake!!! How much more depressing is that?? At least Jess knows he's alive and well . . . sort of.
Hey, was that rather plump woman perhaps our favorite Molly Weasley? Eh? Eh?? ;) No? . . . well then. Mneugh.(That was supposed to be a I'm-poking-my-tongue-out-at-you-in-an-immature-rather-Jessie-like-way :P)
And that is so sweet! She was nervous!! Aw . . . I just wanna pinch her blush-laden cheeks!! Kinda like the way Mrs. Weasley does to Harry all the time! ;)
Ah, Minerva, when will you learn? Dumbledore has too many secrets to count! Besides, she should have known Jessie wouldn't die. She's far too stubborn to let that happen anyways.
Remus, Remus, Remus . . . Jess will NEVER grow up no matter what she is put through . . . her insults will stay at the 5th grade level for the rest of her life until she is 97 and using one of those teleporting tennis ball walker thingies and shouting at children to buy her groceries in a bad impression of Arnold Schwarzenegger. Then she will be demoted to 3rd grade. Tee-he.
Well, I will go to my little corner and curl up into a little ball until my diaphragm feels better or until your new chapter comes out . . . whichever happens first . . .
~ Lemon DropAuthor's Response: frick i have missed you long, amazing reviews... wanna go review my new story? it needs so serious loving...
firstly, i am sorry you're in pain. i feel you... i've just decided i am going to be in pain til ncaa's are over...
and yes, dumbledore just had to go there... it's dumbledore does anything he ever does make sense to the rest of us? (no) :)
as for rodrigo, perhaps he shall return soon. actually some of the parts were written from his POV... can;t tell you exactly which ones off the top of my head...
and tbh, i haven't decided if it's molly yet... haha, i know i'm awesome
and yes i feel awful for doing this to sirius... and jess... and remus... i think i feel worst for remus... he has to deal with moody sirius and (insert a variety of adjectives here) jess.
and minnie is love.
feel better and i'll try to get the new chapter out asap!
Thinking back, I was comparing their original proposal to this makeshift (and blunt) one. In the first, there was incredulity, spinning, and kisses. In this one: crying, confusion, uncertainty, and a simple choice. The first time, she had leeway, just remain engaged for a while, make the commitment, act on it later. But she ran, just like he told her. Now, he is giving her no leeway. She has to choose to either be with him forever or not at all. Ever. That is a major decision. But, you gave us her answer already. You said something like, how could a person she loved so much, cause this much pain? Well, her answer is obvious. It's stated right there, in lamen's terms even! But her fear of commitment is probably the worst case I have ever heard of, to put it bluntly. She has exactly what she wants in front of her, but she can't seem to reach out and grab it. This is an exceptionally frustrating situation for the reader, Katie, because if I were in that situation right there, I would have already had my mind made up. You love someone, you stick by them, no matter what fodder is floating around your brain. Bravo. You've managed to get me into the story enough so that I feel like shaking her shoulders and knocking some sense into her self-doubting head. Take your time getting the next installment out. I want it to be good.
~ Lemon Drop 616Author's Response: Your review made me smile. It makes me giddy to know that you understand the comparision between the two proposals...and that you're so involved that you want to shake the protagonist and "knock some sense into her self-doubting head." And yes! For once, someone is not telling me to hurry up. Thanks, Lemon Drop. I will take my time...I too, want it to be good. Report Review
This story always makes me smile . . . I've probably read it over 20 times and it always makes me feel happy. :) Sorry I never reviewed before . . . i swear I thought I had the first time, but I guess not. James is just so cute and Lily is just so . . . Lily. One of the Cutest stories I've ever read!
~ Lemon Drop 616 =] Report Review
Okay, well normally I hate stories that villainized Lily, but this one is great! It is one of the funniest stories I have ever read! (I just imagine its not Lily . . . XD) Frizz reminds me a lot of myself actually, but I havent been pegged as a freak yet . . . it also might help that my hair doesnt blow up either . . . nah. People are just in denial.
I love the way this worked out . . . all of them are starting to hate each other more now . . . only its like . . . public. :)
And then the first 'trio' if you get my drift . . . oh wow. They are the perfect balance of crazy and insane. Frizzy just kinda pops out with random crap that may or may be relevant or useful, Sirius kinda just pouts and defends his non-existant honour and Frankenstien balances them out with scarcasm, wit, and a way of bringing all the random ideas together!
Keep the ickle chappies popping out of that bingo machine in your head!! XP
~ Lemon Drop 616 =]Author's Response: Thank you for reviewing! Yours is very entertaining, I must say. XD Yes, I really love Lily as a character in the HP books, but I got so tired reading all the fanfictions that made her so perfect and wonderful. I know that was how she was portrayed in the books, but everyone has their flaws. This whole fic is mostly about bringing out people's flaws... you'll see more of that theme when we hit the end. XD Just wait, and it might get better! Oh, I'm very much like Frizz as well. Just... more subtle.
Ooh, yes. Things are working out pretty smoothly. Almost *too* smoothly... But how long will it last?
Ha, yes. To be honest, when I first started planning, I didn't even have Margaret as a character. I thought it'd just be the Duo of Doom. But then their randomness got so out of hand that NOTHING was getting done. Really, the plot would've been moving backwards if I didn't get someone with at least half a brain in there. Which is why I needed Frankenstein. I love writing the three of them together... it's fun yet actually accomplishes things. XD I'm glad you like it, too!
Thank you SO much for the review, again! The bingo man is a cranking!
Ooo, I agree. Snape is a bit of a softie somewhere down there . . . waaay down in there . . . This story is written exceptionally well. If you've ever checked out my oneshots (I haven't posted too many though), I absolutely love writing (and reading) from odd povs, and I must say this one was an idea I'd never considered. Bravo! I like that you show the side of Snape many chose to ignore despite what was written in the seventh book. You helped explain that in this piece. I also enjoyed the time frame . . . the flashbacks were very enjoyable!
~ Lemon Drop 616 =]Author's Response: Yay for liking it! Thanks so much for reading and reviewing. You're one of my favorites, all of your reviews are so lovely! Report Review
Hello! Since you were my first reviewer ever, I thought I should check out your page. The first time I tried, nothing was posted, so I come back a few years later, and BAM you've got a bunch of stories up! So here goes . . .
Well, I think the idea was good, but you skipped through this much too fast, this would have made a better short story than a one shot. If you want to make one shot you have to jump into a snapshot of the characters life. It works best if the characters stories are well known or the out come or cause is known to the general public.
You should have tried to develop the characters more and explain the situation. I was confused through most of it on their motivations and behavior. An explanation on the setting would be good too, you have to remember that the reader isn't in your mind and cant see or understand everything you do, so you have to explain more.
This could be a great Sirius/OC story, with a little editing. This was a great idea though. =]
~ Lemon Drop 616 =] Report Review
I do love this story and I can see how the charachters complexities fit with this plot line, but nevertheless, I cannot help but feel that Lily and James are too complex for the purpose that JKR set for them. They were supposed to be the ones that kept the hope and the love alive. Keep the spirit. But they don't, their characters aren't light enough to do that. They were supposed to be the little beacon of light that the rest needed to see. But, here, they aren't. On the other hand, I love how you portray Sirius; his character is perfect. He is just like the little puppy you need to hug to make it all better. He is just as loyal and caring as he should be. You've developed Peter perfectly as well; he doesn't quite fit with the group, is just a bit out of tune, and slowly falling out with them. Your portrayal of the war is brillant as well. The way you make the opression ( and depression) consume one is particulary well done. You make it seem as though they fight a losing battle, like they are trying to crawl out a black hole that has no entrance nor exit. It is just amazing they way you do as such.
Job well done. And remember, my criticisms aforementioned, are merely opinions, my interpretation on the Harry Potter text. Although, I must say I have done quite a bit of research on the matter, in the text or naught. This involved reading between the lines and re-reading the entire series to catch just about anything about them and looking up interviews with the one and only JKR. Of corse, this is a fan fiction, so I suppose none of the usual rules apply . . . .
Ah, well. Just continue writing the peotry you do.
~ Lemon Drop 616 =]Author's Response: First off, I'd like to thank you for the incredibly perceptive review. Reviews aren't always about compliments, and I do realize that my writing, plot, etc. all have flaws that need to be mentioned for me to improve. I'm ecstatic that you like the way I portrayed Sirius and Peter--I like both characters (if not Peter's personality, I do enjoy writing him nevertheless). It also makes me happy to know that my portrayal of the war is "brilliant" (that made me smile giddily), because I am trying to concentrate on that sort of life and what it must've been like for them.
I understand what you are saying about Lily and James, however. After reading and rereading the Harry Potter series several times, I do realize that my characters aren't the same as JKR's. Although I feel slightly apologetic about that, being that I worship and seek to learn all that I can from JKR, I don't necessarily regret the way that Lily and James turned out. True, they are not canon in the slightest bit, but I enjoy that, and writing about two characters that have developed and grown over the years along with me.
I believe that JKR meant for Harry's parents to be relatively simple characters, not in personality exactly, but in the way they changed and developed. We all know that they're righteous characters who had their flaws, but she doesn't delve too deeply into how they became what they are. I suppose my story can be an interpretation of how they turned out the way they did, but it's simply an interpretation and offering of admiration to JKR's series. Report Review
Short but IMPORTANT??? Why??? Why must you be so cruel?? I can't see where you're going with this twist!! And I'm growing impatient with these two! Correction. I know where you are going, I don't particularly like it, per say. But, i get why, I think. You are showing how James can ttake just giving, and is forcing Lily to give with nothing in return, just like she did to him. I think. Not sure but I think you are trying to portray something similar at least. i just wan these two to wrap up there problem s with nice little bows and leave them on the porch forever so they just, you know, BE TOGETHER!! You are frusterating me with them. That means you're doing a good job, by the way. Can't wait to read the next bit.
~ Lemon Drop 616 =] Report Review
Did you just get a Kelly Clarkson CD or somthing?? What was that, TWO HUNDRED different quotes from her songs? I've got nothing against her, but, dang! That's A LOT of Kelly! I am begining to understand my mother's fury . . . . I used to blast her CD every chance I got . . . needless to say she got VERY mad. Almost a mad as Jessie sometimes gets . . . . But that was like, when I was 11 or something, so it was an older CD . . . yeah . . . anywho, Jess is so funny. She admits she loves him, and then STILL goes on and denies it. Just like, oh well, even though I've ignored this love for years if I just continue to ignore it, it'll go away. Because that soo worked in the past. Yeah. Right.
Okay, I have, like, severe typing issues, I swear I mis-type everything!! GAK!! I use backspace more than any other key!! And I even mis-type backspace! I always accidentally use the backSLASH key!!! ARRGGG!! This is why I proof read! I just typed Tjhis instead of this! My typing is almost as frustrating as Jessie is!! She still is dening her love!! Oi vey! She needs a therapist!!! Yes, Maybe I could recommend mine . . . Dr. Black . . . . She is absolutely wonderful. She flew in from Britain, too. She is almost like an older version of Je- oh crackers. No wonder her advice sounded so familiar . . . . Well, I need a new therapist now, dang it! Could you ask Jessie for recommendations? On second though maybe I'll just ask you . . . yeah, that would be the smart option. Hmpf! Now what am I to do?? I'll go insane! I'll wear a feather suit to school! I'll fail Algebra! NO!!! I won't remember how to eat a pudding!! NO!! Help me!! Wait. No. Help Jessie! I can survive as a loon, but she has a reason to be sane! She is in love, and in denial!
OMG!! I almost forgot! At the end she was on her way to tell Sirius at the end! But- oh, no! So was Sparks! Speaking of Jordan Sparks, she is just evikl (evikl? evil, I mean) isn't she? She sounds like a combo of everthing I hate in girls . . . . You know, the name Jordan just sounds evil doesn't it? Especially on girls . . . I can just hear the cackling in the background . . . *Mua-ha-ha!* And Sparks . . . What a name, reminds you of matches . . . and math. Both very evil. Very, very evil. But, strangely, on this one singer, it isn't so evil. To me at least. maybe you hate her . . . but, I kinda like her . . . Maybe it's just on whites that it sounds evil . . . yeah. I can only envision and evil jordan Sparks having white-ish tan-ish skin and fake beach blond hair. With poop colored eyes. Yeah, poopey eyes. He-he. That suits her well . . . Poop. poop. poop.
Well, that was immature of me. *GASP* I just reminded myself of Jessie! And on the topic of immaturity, she have couldn't have handled her realization more immaturely. He-he. 'I'll just ignore it . . . more. yeah.' That'll really work. Just like it did before. Hmmm . . .
*snorts* Plan B. I love that plan. Too bad you won't use it. *sigh* Jessie has to admit it, though, she would like it! Subconciously, at least! Oh well, she is heading down the stairs to tell him now, though, unless you have some diabolical plan up your sleeve in which she chickens out and lies!! Which you won't do on threat of death!
Fine. I'll go away . . . *(mumbles)* for now.
Anyways, I sincerely hope you are not planning one of those cheesy moments, where the evil girl (in this case Sparks) sprints up to the boy (in this case Sirius) and pounces on him and them in the middle of said pouncing, the hero or poor soul (in this case Jessie) comes in and automatically gets mad at boy in question. Actually this comes up more with L/J stories, but you never know! Wait, no! I got it! You are going to go through with the begining of that corny moment, but you are going to have Jess blow up not on Sirius, but on Sparks, aren't you? Huh? Huh? Huh? And then Sirius is gonna be all like, 'Woah, wiat, why'd ya do that?' and Jess'll be all like, 'Oh because, um, yeah, um because . . . . umm . . . iloveyou!' all fast like and junk. Right??? Ya know, I'll be REALLY, REALLY surprised if you were planning that . . . . Bah. Who am I kidding! It is the purfect set up.
Woah there. Where'd that cat come from?!?!?!? RODRIGO!
Did you send that cat?
You know it's true.
Hmpf. Maybe. Maybe not.
GAH! You are jankapolkie!
I'll take that as a compliment.
rrrg . . . .
Hmmm . . . . I love William Shakespeare. I can never spell his name right though (he-he copy & paste =] ).
OOooo. It's late. I gotta go. HEY! That reminds me, I just figured out what gtg means! HA! I rock! Yeah!
Anyways, loved it! As always!
~ Lemon Drop 616 =]
ps. check out this song: Emmy Rossum - Falling. It kinda suits this story . . . . and you are soo fond of quoting lyrics . . . .
BYE!!!Author's Response: oh hell... now i have to go re-write the whole chapter... :) it is really corney isn't it??? yea, i've been fiddling with the idea and attempting to make it less stupid [its not working btw]... i think its going to have the same shape and structure as the last scenario you pictured, but with a few twists... it is jessie and sirius, the most immature, dysfunctional couple on the face of the planet [maybe the universe]...
ANYHOW moving on from my screwed up love life that should ahve ended in high school and does not resemble jessie's in any way, i guess we'll just have to see what i come up with in the end...
yes, i know... i'm an obsessive person... i did get the new cd and was listening to it [it might have been on repeat as well...] for the first time as i was writing the chapter and every so often lyrics would pop out and i would be like "oooh i'll use that!" in my defense it IS a good cd, but yes, that was a bit obsessive, you have my apologies... :)
as for jessie's logic. you gotta love it and don't worry about the typing, i'm sure you'll find 50 errors in here.
just for the record i have nothing against the real life/singer jordan sparks. didn't even realize i used her name till someone pointed it out. and sense i seem to be in the mood for divulging story secrets at the moment [must be my cough syrup... yay codine] jordan is modeled after this girl i abhored in high school, long story short. She's also supossed to sort of be jessie's opposite. not her foil, that's kinda lily and mary's job... but she's supossed to kinda be her in a wierd way... that totally amde no sense... jess has blonde hair/ her's is bleach blonde. she's been dating sirius/ jess should be dating sirius. that sort of thing...
oh yes, her reaction to the realization... haha, but you got to admit it was SO jessie.
don't worry, i promise she'll tell him in the next chapter ** eyes the angry readers armed with fire and pitchforks warily** HI RODRIGO!!! **waves**
**grins bashfully at the pointing out of my obsession with song lyrics** i'll check the song out for sure! i love love love love love music. seriously though, feel free to reccomend any songs you feel i should lsiten to! [as long as the words jonas brothers are not in the scentance...] i'm actually toying with this really really really stupid idea for the end of the story... no the chracters are not breaking out into song... but yea... figure that one out if you can! who am i kidding you probably will... :)
ANYWAYS thanks for reading and leaving such a fabulouse review!!! loved your review as always! later gater! Report Review
Thats it??? That felt so short! I siriusly cannot wiat to read more and find out how you're going to make Remus and Lily break up and James and Lily get together, and still keep Remus and James friends . . . This story is sure to be getting very interesting soon. As of now is merely interesting . . . . Hmm. Well, at least he told Sirius about his "secret love for scarlet". Now all he has to do is tell Lily . . . I personally have never been in his kind of situation, but I can't help but feel very sorry for him. *sigh* Well, maybe all he needs is a reminder that it's only life. That reminds me of this one song I love . . . it's called it's only life by Kate Voegele; really good song, James should listen to it. Too bad it's ahead of him by 30 some years . . . .
Well, I can't wait to read what comes next!
~ Lemon Drop 616 =]
10/10 Report Review
Oh! this is so cute! it made me 'aawww!' I love how you put them together. You wrote this so well, I had to shake myself to remember that this was a one-shot! And then I was sad, because there was no more to read. You made me feel like i was i the middle of a novel! Definately one of my fav stories. . . .
~ Lemon Drop 616 =] Report Review
NNOOO!!! WHAT? HOW COULD YO - WHHY? WHY MUST YOU BE SO DANG ANNOYING??? GAH! You end it there??? You are e-e-evil . . . I think I know where the inspiration for Jess came from . . . . Urg. And I was so happy you had updated too . . . My window froze, so I had to re-open hpff and bang! My Brain & Black is at the top of the list . . . I thought it was a gift from God! But no, it was a temptation from the DEVIL!!! Cliffhanger bandwagon? Why me . . . ? So I start reading, right, and I'm going " Yes! This is - no, WILL be the chapter they get together! ", but then I get to the end only to find that it's a CLIFFHANGER! WHYY!!?? I perservered through the begining, thinking " She'll come around in another paragraph . . . " even though it was all just: deny, denied, denial, denying . . . blah, blah, blah. And then I get to thinking " This seems to a way of life for her : Hmm . . . I don't like this . . . DENIED . . . Hmm . . . this isn't what I want . . . DENIED. It's almost like she's saying her life's purpose is to deny! " But hey! She admitted she missed being his frien - . . . oh no. You are NOT going to go off with them being 'just friends' for another 20 billion chapters are you??? NOOO! *runs in slow motion with insanely exaggerated movements* YOU CAN'T DO THAT TO M - US!! IT'S NOT FAIR!!! *someone retorts 'life's not fair.'* Hurry up and post, so I have even more of a reason to procrastinate my homework!! PLEASE!
~ Lemon Drop 616 =]
Ya know, by my standards, this chapter wasn't short . . . maybe its just me, I am legally insane, don't ya know. (I'm Canadian too . . . not really)
Did you know that British people don't call cookies cookies? They call them biscuits! Ah, the things you learn in French class . . .Author's Response: oh crap, you guys are going to come after me with blazing torches and pitchforks aren't you??? ahh!!! I'M SORRY! IT WAS JESSIE'S IDEA I SWEAR!
and now to respond to your LOVELY review! yay! it made me smile by the way, and laugh... really hard... haha...anyways. as to the inspiration for jess and the story. jess is basically a combo of myself and my best friend and the story itself is based on a combo of events from high school and ideas that popped into my head... let's just say i knew a guy who was a lot like sirius in high school... :)
yes denial does seem to be jess' favorite form of dealing with reality... but she is running out of excuses... besides i think lily's about ready to tie jess up to sirius' bed and let him have his way with her... not that, that will be happening! :)
jessie and sirius just friends... oooh good idea... i may have to rethink my plot... **runs away screaming from readers brandeshing leathal weapons** ... naw, like i said before, i don't think rodrigo or lily will be letting her take the easy way out. :)
ANYWAYS, now that you are thouroughly annoyed with me... glad to assist you in your quest to procrastinate as much as possible! :) why do you think i strted writing this story??? haha... and yea, i knew the british word for cookies was biscuits, my gran is scottish and she calls them taht all the time... she also calls french fries chips and she called the phone the telly the other day when i was talking to her... yea...
THANK YOU FOR REVIEWING! :) LOVED THE REVIEW!!! and i will update as soon as i can!!! i promise!
Gah! Fwibber gaffer drannamangana kwioko horpotas ikilislo??? GAH! I am soo flusterated with Jessie right about now that I can't even speak English!!! GAH! ARG! BAHG! Jormandico kileminsamarte wowikals friuh!!! Figure yourself out already!!! GAH! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE GET THEM TOGETHER SOON! I CANT STAND IT ANYMORE! I HAVE FINALLY CRACKED! (the doctors have been waiting YEARS for this . . . huh . . . Jessie must be influencing me more than I've noticed before . . . hmm . . . . ) You know a very good combo to cheer you up after a long day a school is a mix of grapefruit juice, candy, exceptionally loud and insanely cheesey ( and old ) pop puke ( like Vanessa Hudgens ), and My Brain and Black. Siriusly, though, it really does work for me at least . . . although, givin my Jessie-ness, this might not work for anyone else . . . GAH! . . . it works for me all right? Happy now?? GEEZE! No need to get all fussy in my bussy (that made no sense did it? Whatever. I'm already labeled as 'mentally unstable' . . . according to the doctors at least! Me, I'm not so sure that's 100% accurate, hiccup, cheese, yum, =], pickles! . . . I think 'straight jacket worthy' is more appropriate. he-he. ) THE SQUIRRELS DID IT!
. . .
Anywho, another great chapitre (pronounced sha-peet-ruh, duh) on the market (huh?) and another gut buster. (again: huh?) Jessie has self-realization issues, doesn't she? *sigh* she needs thereputical AND medical help. Yick. I have math homework I need to get to. . . hmm . . . I think I'll spend more time on this . . . yeah. . . that's right, deny having homework. Wait. That sounds familliar . . . maybe . . . nah. Well, anywho, Jessie really needs to get over her denial . . . *pause* . . . she really should have a heart-to-heart with Rodrigo. Hmmm, on second thought, that might not help. O, OOO, OO, I GOT IT! A heart-to-heart with Sirius!!! Yeah, yeah, and then they can squabble happily ever after! YAYs! *sqeals like valley girl*
Well, anywho, update ASAP! That stands for as soon as possible. Wait. Everyone knows that. Oh well. Wait (again). explaining it completely defeated the pupose of using an acronym! Dang.
AAAH! THE COOKIE MEN ARE COMING TO TAKE US TO THE DARK SIDE! Wait. I love that shirt. Ya know the one that says :"Come to the dark side we have cookies".
WoW. I wrote a lot. Hum. Most of had absolutely nothing to do with the chapter. Hmm . . . whatever.
~ Lemon Drop 616 =]
10/10 amazing.Author's Response: mmmkay!!! that is offically the longest review i have EVER gotten! and I LOVED IT! i mean yes half of it was you just rambling, but it totally made my day! :) AHHH! i love you! THANK YOU!!!
i know jess is a right pain in the ass isn't she. she makes you just want to smack her and scream "you moron", but that's half the fun... haha. AND LOVED the Sirius joke! yes i caught that! haha!
yes, it would probably be a great idea for jess to see a shrink or seek medical attention. :) haha, as for her having a heart to heart with sirius... all i can say is we will see. :) [ i know, you're going to kill me for that. haha] liked the "squabble happily ever after", i may have to use that at some point, as long as that's okay with you. it made me crack up! :)
thanks for procrastinating!!! [ yay! i'm not the only person who sits on here when they should be doing hoemwork... which i happen to be doing at the moment... i mean who wants to read? why am i majoring in hsitory again? ugh.] and thank you again for such an AMAZING review!!! Report Review
Ah, another good chapter. This was a somewhat slow chapter plot wise, but it helped me understand James's character a whole lot more. I loved the way you used his actions and words to explain him more, it is helping me understand what type of person he is. But, on the downside, Lily was only seen once here, and she's my fav. character. Actually L/J is probably my fav. pairing . . . Eh, that's why I'm reading this anyways. And, this was longer than the last one! I can't wait to see what will happen next!
~ Lemon Drop 616 =]
PS. Sorry this one's shorter than usual; I'm kinda, sorta running late . . . . Ooops.
10/10Author's Response: Oooo, thanks. :) You always give good reviews, short or long. Thanks for reviewing.
hprvs3 Report Review
Well, last time I forgot to review this chapter, so . . . I am amazed how quickly and easily the tone changed from amiable and warm to aggravated to remorseful. You introduce the relationships very smoothly and naturally: James and Lily's friendship, Remus and Lily's dating . . . It all makes perfect sense in your words, and I must confess I was speculative at first, but your words made me see "the light", for want of a better word. Too bad James chickened out, Lily seemed like she wanted him to say it. *sigh* I suppose it'll all work out in the end though. Oh, and thanks for reviewing my story "Ever". :)
~ Lemon Drop 616 =]Author's Response: Yay! Thanks for reviewing :) I'm glad that the mood and the plot of the story is coming across to others.
hprvs3 Report Review
Hi-lo! I only just noticed that your story had no reviews, and I reminisced on how sad it is when no one decides to take a little time to write a few words on what they just read; so . . . here we have made full circle. Well then, hmmm . . . where to begin, where to begin? Umm, I think I'll continue with . . . yes, yes, I'll begin with how much I love your idea of Remus and Lily, and James secretly loving her, blah, blah (insert your description of your own story . . . ) Then, next, I'd say that your writing is fairly expertise compared those others that submit error-ridden (and grammatically atrocious) works of penmanship. Your story actually has the semblance of an editing process! You also have good sentence structure, and well placed transitions. (I do believe I'm beginning to sound like an English teacher . . . dear me, how awful =S) Anywho, I love where you appear to be going with this, so I hope to see you continue, despite the lack of reviews. Well, I'll be watching for an update! And, again, I just thought that I should leave my opinion on your story, because I don't particularly like it when no one reviews my stories . . . well, I just thought I'd return the favor.
~ Lemon Drop 616 =]
PS. I still adore this story, but a longer third chapter would be very much appreciated!Author's Response: Hiya, thanks for those kind words about my story. I'm glad you like it. I don't think I have had quite a review like this before, (that is good).
I have a slight dylslexia (spelling?) so I sometimes make mistakes which I don't notice while I'm writing. It's quite frustrating, so I'm quite happy that my gramma is good. lol :)
hprvs3 Report Review
Your story always makes me break into fits of I'm-laughing-so-hard-I-can't-breathe-or-talk-OMG-I-think-I'm-gonna-die-for-the-lack-of-available-oxygen laughter . . . . Anyways, Jessie is hilarious (as always); she's immature (as always), and so hard not to like, no, love (as always). No wonder poor old Siri fell in love with her . . . despite her very LARGE shortcomings . . . that, and the fact that he is the target for all her fury (and immaturity). He-he, wonder what they'll be like as a couple . . . wowzers, that just might be the scariest thought I have ever had. Hmmm, that can't be a good sign. Bah, who cares, it'll be entertaining at the least. Even though this chapter didn't really move much along, I still loved because, well, you're just that good of an author; this story is so funny, that even if you had no plot whatsoever I'd probably still love it. That or I have no reading comprehension at all and wouldn't be able to tell Shakespeare from an elementary school writing assignment. . . . Naaagh . . . both, I'd say both. (You know, some things just sound funnier in your head . . . . and I use ellipses WAY too much . . . . GAH! There I go again! I just can't help myself . . . ARG! It is an illness I tell you! AN ILLNESS!!!) You know, I may just need special help . . . yes, maybe you can convince Jessie to come with me to the place dubbed "The Happy Place" by my fake-ly smiling robot-parents . . . wait, if my parents were robots, wouldn't EVERYTHING they did be fake??? . . . . . . Yup. Definitely need help. Anywho, love the story still, so update ASAP (or WYCBHVVVF . . . Whenever You Can But Hopefully Very Very Very Fast-ly . . . . Duh. =] )
~ Lemon Drop 616 =]
10/10 . . . tee-he, I did it again . . . and again . . . and again . . . and again . . . . . . . I'll just stop now . . . . . no, now . . . okay, I'm done now . . . . . just one more . . . . . oh, fine . . . sorry, couldn't help it . . . .
25 ELLIPSES!!! . . . . 26 . . . 27 . . . . 28 . . . . . 29 . . . . 30! Sorry, it had to be even . . . oops! =]Author's Response: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA!
omg, i love your reviews!!! not only are they LONG, but they're hilariouse!!!
thanks for leaving such a great review! i'm so glad you like it!
oh wow, jessie and sirius as a couple. that is a scary thought... haha
i'll update as soon as i can! Report Review
Hello! Where have you been my whole hpff life??? This is insanely hilarious, I love it, you just jump right into the action and don't poke around with all that dumb describing (eg. And her eyes were blue and shone in the lighting. And she had long, perfectly straight blonde hair. And she was wearing a gorgeous green shirt . . . you see why that would be annoying, yes?) The pondering on the marauders part(s) was great, like they were coming up with ways to kill her . . . *sigh* good times, good times. What would her first name be, though, I do not believe it was mentioned here . . . ? Anywho, loved the ending, so classic. Girl trumps boy. HA! Go Halloway (sp?)!!! Whoot, whoot! Keep updating! I'll be checking!
Your second reviewer and only favorites saved,
~ Lemon Drop 616 =]
10/10 XDAuthor's Response: WOW. Thank you!
I try my best.
oh and I did mention her name, it's in the title.
Glad u liked it.
I'm currently writing the 2nd chappie now.
I'll post it today I think.
Holy guacamole . . . . How do you do that??? This chapter is absolutely the best I have EVER read on this site, ever. Asinine amazing. Bloody brilliant. Corruptly cow-like (Hmm . . . that one doesn't make sense does it? Oh well, I couldn't find any C's) From the moment I opened this chapter up I suspected what was going to transpire, but as soon as I read that Lily couldn't get any rest, I was completely certain that they were going to get back together. I loved the way you brought them together: James storming in, them fighting, the stepping into the light. I especially adored the way you made them realize that they still love each other, no words, Lily FINALLY knowing what James wanted her to do/say, more light stepping . . . . Sigh . . . . This, I do believe, rivals JKR's work. It is simply stupendous. Famously fantastical. Oh no, I'm alliterating again. Anywho, that was so long overdue it is no wonder that they felt starved. I think that they were at breaking point right then, and if something didn't happen, nothing ever would. I certainly am glad that all those problems are all tied up, complete with neat little pink ribbons. I am so glad that you've finally pitted them together again, it's been so long, I was beginning to despair. Can't imagine how Lily and James felt. *shudders* Definitely don't want to know. Definitely. But they're together again! Whoopie!! Christmas has come early!!! Halleluiah! So has Easter! Yays! I love you, this story, and hpff very, very much right now. =] I'm happy . . . . Once again, breathtakingly amazing. Can't wait for the next installment! (Actually I can wait, but would that sound nice if I said I can wait for the next installment??? No, so blah . . . . )
~ Lemon Drop 616 =]
10/10 - - - love it, love it, love it . . . . Report Review
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