I kept meaning to check to see if you'd started a new fic and nearly forgot about it...silly me. I'm so glad to see this and it seems to be a lovely start. On to the next chapter now! Report Review
More great memories, of course. It's been awhile since reading LTLA and I had forgotten about Daniel so that was definitely a welcome surprise. It was interesting to see it from their perspective (who am I kidding seeing all of these snippets from others' perspectives is great). I really rather expected something a bit more from Luna for some reason. Her mind just runs so astray from the ordinary.
As for Andromeda, I thought it was really cool to see that she might not have been all that happy with Remus and Tonks's choice for godparents and it's even understandable since she really didn't know Harry that well personally.
All I can say is that I want more...although I understand fully about life intervening. My own readers were getting panicky on me for awhile there. Now that I'm back in the swing with both reading and writing things will go better.
Thanks for sharing,
MariaAuthor's Response: I've always liked Daniels' character and there was no way I could do this story without him and his family in it.
Luna's was short, but I never got the sense that she babbled on endlessly, or was overly wordy. She got to the point without a lot of preamble and usually did so from a different tack or point of view. She's kind of hard to write for, and make it believeable. I hope I do OK by her.
I had not read a fanfic that showed Andromeda as unsure of Remus' and Tonks' choice. But I thought it was a valid viewpoint. I did the same thing with the Grangers in LTLA, just because everyone else loves Harry doesn't mean that they would. In every story I've read, she's always happy with Harry, and in the end she is here too, but that doesn't mean she was 'always' happy with the choice. And good for Molly calling her friend out on it too.
More to come when its ready, thanks for the review.
Dave Report Review
I may have had tears in my eyes for Minerva's memory, but George's threw me over the top. I can't wait to see the rest of the memories. As usual, you have a knack for putting a good mix of sentimental and funny situations that make for great chapters. Thanks.Author's Response: Tears from McGonagall's? Of happiness, mirth or sadness?
One of my favorites is Seamus. George's is in the top 3 or 4 as well.
I didn't want George's to be too sad, but I did want it to be a shared emotional moment between brothers. I like how it turned out. I think, had Fred lived, their conversation would have been very similar to what I wrote.
It's Ginny's reaction at the end that puts it over the top.
Chapter 5 is in beta so hopefully I'll be able to post soon. The post lag time has been greater than normal. Real life got way too complicated there for a while and fan fiction had to wait.
Have a great day. Report Review
Great chapter. I know you told us that your wife got you to read the books. What does she think of your new hobby? Obviously your kids aren't old enough to read this sort of this thing yet, but I'll bet she gets a kick out of it.Author's Response: Actually...
When my wife got a hint of what I was doing (way back when I first started LTLA) her comment was "Why? The books are done. we know how it ends." Between that, and the fact that most of the time I write long after everyone else is in bed, she hasn't shown much interest if any at all. She has never read any of it that I know of.
No the kids are not old enough for this yet. My daughter has read SS and is about 2/3 through CoS. She gets extra credit in school for extra reading. When the teacher saw she what she was reading she got a ton of extra credit.
As a little kicker, the other day she started to write a Harry Potter book all on her own (9 yrs old). This was neat because since she can't read mine due to the rating, I haven't let the kids know I'm writing it. Takes all the 'please dad, pretty please' begging off the table. But she's got her story started. Maybe I'll find a way to post it for her.
Thanks for the reviews, as always. Report Review
Oh, these are simply marvelous! What a great way to end what was originally a horrendous day. Thank you.Author's Response: You're welcome. Happy I've given you a fun moment.
seeker68 Report Review
I don't think any of us are complaining, seeker68. We'll take this in the meantime. I haven't been reading much fanfic, but I really needed a pick-me-up today and found out you've been writing again. Talk about good luck! Thanks so much, I was laughing my butt off. Onto the next chappy now.Author's Response: Just found this in the un-answered pile. Not sure how it happened as I usually answer as fast as I can. Sorry.
Anyway, glad you liked it. Report Review
It's an interesting start. Here are a few words of advice from what I've read so far. Stick to one tense, usually the past tense is best. The present should only ever be used when someone is speaking and not to report what is "happening right now" since the entire narrative is in the past. Next is to let people know who is talking and to whom they are talking, paragraphing with each change of speaker. It was almost impossible to decipher conversations and to figure out whether something was internal and external. Generally, my recommendation is to work on these things once you've actually written everything out. Let your words flow and then worry about whether or not it's readable. My last word of advice is to use what we already know and enhance it, give it color, texture, flavor, etc.. The more details and insight you give the more people will want to read. This is especially important for a story where your readers essentially already know the outcome. We want to know how and why Lily and James got together, because we know that they do and that Harry is born and so forth.
I loved the changes in POV, it gives a depth that will help you later on and lets us know how each of them feels as things progress.
I hope that what I've said is able to help you. I think there's a lot of potential here and I wish you the best of luck. I'll look for the next chapter soon. Report Review
Oh, what an interesting chapter! I'm curious to see why Kaden would do that and how/when Malfoy will put the pieces together. Your characters really have developed into something wonderful. It's kind of fun, because they're a combination of the original Marauders as well as the HP crew, trio and all of that. Keep up the great work.Author's Response: You will find out why Kaden did it within the next few chapters. As for Malfoy putting the pieces together, that may or may not be in this story. ;)
I'm glad you like the characters. I've gotten quite attached to them (well, most of them. There are some who I rather dislike). Thanks for reading and reviewing! :) Report Review
Oh, what an interesting chapter. As usual, you leave me speechless with your storytelling abilities. Although I had guessed that the "wizard" was someone guarding Camelot, I certainly didn't guess that he might be Merlin! It was an awesome twist.
Thanks for adjusting your paragraphing. It makes for an easier read, without as much backtracking. Now all you have to do is work on your homophones and everything will be perfect! A hint on one of the most common of them: "then" rhymes with "when", denoting time; "than" has the same vowel sound as "as" and thusly denotes a comparison.
Keep up the great work. As always, I look forward to your next installment.Author's Response: My dear lady,
Thank you for the review. The than and as is something that I hadn't heard about. I will make use of it. When I have a bit more free time on my hands I may go back to the first chapter and check everthing over again. Thanks. Stay with me I think you'll like the next chapter. It will be out in two weeks.
As always, Until next time,
Marc Report Review
I tried not to get too attached to Lizzie, but I failed miserably. Knowing that we don't see her in the final battle, I knew that you probably intended to kill her. It was a difficult chapter to read (obviously not due to any errors writing-wise), but I could just see what was coming. In matter of fact, it was brilliantly written and I'm guessing it was as painful for you to write as it was for us to read.
I really hope that you follow a day or so after the final battle. I'd sincerely love to see your take on it. Thanks so much for writing such a great story.Author's Response: I'm quite sure that I will write the day after the last battle, so we will see my take on it. And don't give up on Lizzie just yet. It will cost her, but she made Ginny a promise, and she'll do her very best to get out because of that promise. You'll see...
Thank you for your understanding. It is easy to plead for mercy and to ask me to keep Lizzie alive, and I really don't mind that at all--I love her, too! But sometimes a character does have to die. It's not what I want to do, but what makes most sense for the character. On that note, Lizzie's character is so complex that I don't really know what's going to happen... Oh, well. Difficult choices ahead. I appreciate your support! Report Review
Another great chapter. Your writing is getting better and better. As always, content is there in full force. I found the whole process with the Imperius Curse to be extremely interesting. As you're probably aware, I'm dealing with something similar in "A Time to Live" albeit under very different circumstances, although to the same ultimate end. I'm not sure what to think of the Pansy situation. Red herring? I suppose I'll have to read on to find out.Author's Response: My dear Lady,
Pansy will be playing a part in the up coming chapters. If you wish to use any ideas from what I've written please feel free to use anything you'd like. The next chapter will be out in ten days or so.
As always, Until next time,
Marc Report Review
Thanks for the response in the last chapter, to my review. Don't stop the way you write, initially. Changing your paragraphing is something you can do when you're editing. When I'm writing I just let everything come out and then worry about perfecting it later. I usually find that by my ninth or tenth read that most of the mistakes have been caught. That's the easiest thing to do. Keep up the great storyline, it is golden.Author's Response: My dear Lady,
Thank you for your review. If you go back and check the other chapters you'll find that the paragraphs have been restructed to what you suggsted. The poor validators had to reread everything, but that's Ok. I'm glad your enjoying the story. The next chapter will be out in ten days or so.
As always, Until next time,
Marc Report Review
I know you've gone a bit far afield, but, I don't think I really care. You've got me hooked, line and sinker. I've come to love every word you write. I can't wait for the next installment.Author's Response: It is a little bit out there, but it's so exciting and so dramatic, I just couldn't resist. I'm glad you like it, too. Report Review
Oh, this does seem very interesting. I read the title and had to check it out. I've always been very curious about Regulus and what happened with him. This seems to be a good start to a story that could be excellent. It was well-written and seemed to capture the essence of what was going on at the time. Please continue with with the story.Author's Response: Thank you very much for the kind review. I will definitely continue, I just have to wait for the next chapter to be validated, which is taking an extraordinarily long time. Report Review
I've been reading this story for awhile and kept meaning to review. I think your storyline is fantastic and you keep me riveted and excited to read more. Your work is very heartwarming.
I do have one favor to ask though. When a different character speaks you need to start a new paragraph. Sometimes you have entire conversations occur within one paragraph and it makes them very diffuclt to follow. I know it winds up taking up a few more "lines" but it is the way that prose is written. Just a hint for a more readable story.
Thanks so much for sharing your work, I appreciate being able to read it.Author's Response: My Dear lady,
Welcome to my story. Thank you for your review. You're not the first one to ask this of me so I will try to change the way that I write. Please understand that it's easier for me to write it in paragraph form once I get on a roll but I'll try to change it for those who are reading it. Please don't be a stranger, let me know how you like the chapters. I have the next three chapters done so after these I'll start to rearrange my methods.
Until next time,
Marc Report Review
Ha! I loved this chapter. It was really very amusing. I loved the whole bit with Professor Kendrick especially. Again, ha! You know you always have my readership...keep up the great work.Author's Response: I'm glad you enjoyed it and thought it was funny! Thanks for reading and reviewing! :) Report Review
I'm still enjoying your work, but I would really love it if, when you include the Weasley cousins that we don't know if you would preface the chapter with their parentage and ages. I know you listed it once in your previous story, but it's sort of difficult to follow sometimes. You don't mention them enough for us to really know them, so it would be helpful. I'm looking forward to your next update as always...thank you for referencing the previous story...it was helpful in making my decision to read.Author's Response: I'm very happy to hear that you like the story! I will definitely post a list of the Weasley cousins with their ages in the next chapter. I know I came up with a lot of them, lol, and it doesn't help that they're completely different from the actual ones JKR created. Thanks for reading and reviewing! :) Report Review
I couldn't rereview to respond to you. I will look forward to your next story with great anticipation. Report Review
Sure!!! Break our hearts just before the holidays by telling us there are only a few more chapters. I'm sure you have more storylines bubbling in that lovely imagination of yours. Anyhow, I did love this chapter as I have nearly every other. As much as I'll hate to see the end, it has been a wonderful ride. Thank you for sharing your work with us.Author's Response: Yes, there are only a few more chapter, but I have the sequel written! I'll start posting it right after I finish posting this one. I'm working on the 3rd one, too. I have tentative plans to write one story for each of Albus's years at Hogwarts.
Thanks! I'm very glad you've enjoyed reading it. I certainly enjoyed writing it. It helped me through my Potter withdrawal after Deathly Hallows. Report Review
Oh, no! It's not really over is it? Maybe you could do a little sequel, giving us a bit more H/G? I absolutely loved the entire saga though and must give you my eternal thanks for sharing it. I have to say that in this last chapter there were some very great lines and situations. I'll just give you my two favorites. The first is when Harry is automatically giving orders, even though Robards is standing there and all of the D.A. are just looking to Harry for direction without thought.lol. The other is when Lurleen tells the Malfoys that Rodolphus is dead. Narcissa's comment "Oh, thank goodness. I mean..." made me laugh so hard I couldn't read on for a few minutes. It was spectacular.
Please, please, please.write another. Thanks again.Author's Response: There is another one on the way (& since you're a H/G fan, you'll definitely like the first chapter)! Report Review
I don't know how it happens, but I always wind up with two chapters to read for your story. I try to go through all of the hpff things in a timely manner, but obviously things get missed (or I forget where I leave off at). As you know, I simply love your fic and will come back for more as long as you give it to us. It amazes me sometimes. You not only have such a strong sense of characterization and plot, but manage to get good-sized chapters out to us quickly. You have a true talent. I hope you'll let us know if you will ever be published officially (obviously not with this story), because I would certainly be interested in reading what you write.Author's Response: I can honestly say that this is the best compliment I've ever received. The best future I envision for myself involves my work being published officially. I do hope that if that happens, you will read what I put out and that it will not disappoint you. However, that is probably far into the future. We'll see, I guess. Thank you for your vote of confidence, I very much appreciate it! Report Review
I don't know how I only just found this story now, but I did. I have to say that it's really quite enjoyable. It's easy to read, without any major mistakes (although preposition use is a bit odd sometimes). It also has a gripping storyline that is missing in many pieces out there. Congrats on getting your characters down pat, and even interaction between them is very convincing. I particularly enjoyed the bits of backstory that you do in italics. These are little snippets out of their lives that we often do not see in some of theother tales out there. I'll look forward to the next update. Thank you.Author's Response: I'm glad you like it so far. And the preposition use... well, I'm not from an English-speaking country, that should explain it. I'm actually kind of surprised no one else has mentioned it. Thanks for the review! Report Review
Lol! I just reread the last chapter, because of something I was thinking about in my own story. I wanted to leave a review because I got so engrossed again that I read the entire chapter instead of the snippet I was looking for, but I'd already done so. I forgot that you can only leave one review per chapter so I'm leaving it here instead. Thanks so much, again for a wonderful story.Author's Response: I recognized your name from other reviews, glad you came back for a refresher. I appreciate the compliments. Report Review
Oooo.such a short chapter, yet powerful. Please put the next one up soon, I can't stand the anticipation! Report Review
As usual, quite a great chapter! I can't wait for the next one. I'm so happy you've brought Ginny back into the picture...I'd missed her...lol! Report Review
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