Someone suggested this story and I intended to save it for Christmastime. I obviously failed miserably. But I'm glad that I did. It was very sweet and lovely. You can bet your wand that I'll read it again in December! Report Review
It would indeed help immensely to have a British beta, someone who could correct our hopelessly American wording. As hard as I try, I always make some goofs.
I'm glad to see this is being well-received, so far! Can't wait to see Chapter Three up soon!Author's Response: At least you are not the only one reviewing. Chapter 3 should be up this weekend. Good to see some people appreciate the rewrite.
Jet Report Review
What a great start! Everything isn't all roses after a war. I always applaud those who not only recognize that, but do an excellent job of depicting the pain and hard work that go into rebuilding a society.Author's Response: Chapter 2 is up, chapter 3 is submitted. Making progress. Thank you!
Jet Report Review
I would be more than happy to help as a beta; even though I've never done anything like it before. I just sent you a friend request on facebook (unfortunately you can't include a message anymore with the request). If you accept me as a friend; you'll be able to see that it's me from my profile page.
I'm a wiz when it comes to grammar, spelling, etc., not to mention a walking HP encyclopedia, lol.
Message me and we'll see what we can set up.
ladymblackAuthor's Response: Thank you!
Google me and you will find me. My name is not all that well guarded, and as a 44 year married grandfather I've very little to hide.
Jet Report Review
Another great chapter, of course! I love how you are allowing time to go by, without making it seem as though nothing is happening. Too many authors do that and then it actually gets boring. You've done the opposite. You give just enough so that we know what's going on and get a snippet of experiences, conversations and such. Perfect! A few questions though: Who is Violet Brown? Based on the description, it sounded like Lavender. I wasn't too sure about that. Also, are Damian and Genevieve Longbottoms or McDivvotts? At first you mention that Damian is a distant relative of Neville's (presumably that's where the Longbottom is from). But then later on another couple by the same names (Mary Sue's parents) are surnamed McDivvott. It was just a little confusing. Thanks, and I'm always looking for more chapters from you!Author's Response: ladymblack
I don't know why I have so many problem with Lavender Brown. Somehow she keeps getting typed as Violet. I had Penelope and Urban Longbottom in my list of characters and then again just botched it as I was typing out this section. That is why you need a good beta or two, and my one time beta Mrs_Grainger is working 12 hour days and hardly has time to read.
You may be happier with my story at this point than I am. I think I would have been better making a series of shorter stories. The first one would end at the one year anniversary of the Battle of Hogwarts. The second would cover Ginny's Quidditch career and the final capture of the last of the death eaters. Trying to do a better job of introducing story threads and bringing them to a conclusion instead of writing a rambling soap opera type of story.
From the time he is born Albus becomes more and more a focus of the story, although even well into the Albus Potter story we never loose Harry and Ginny.
I know I have rewritten the whole first part of my story once. I'm just still not satisfied, and may abandon this after a couple more chapters. I'm really proud of a chapter ahead on Donna and Bill Lionheart. If I don't get more than one or two reviews on it maybe I've lost my way with this long story and need to start over.
Another great chapter; I thought you captured Andromeda very well. As for Mrs. Carrow, I'm not sure I would worry about the accent (I'm not sure anyone would honestly understand it if you tried to write it anyway; it's hard enough to figure out hearing it). Actually, I was under the impression that the Carrows were dumb, but educated. I don't know why I thought that. But it was great moment of levity anyway, and well-needed!Author's Response: I actually wrote the part about Mrs. Carrow to show how they became so cruel, being raised in a cruel enviroment. Frightened little boys who see their fathers beating their mothers do not usually grow up to be compassionate but to be wife beaters themselves. Students who suffer torture and hazing end up torturing and hazing younger students in turn. Tragic, really. Harry suffering and rising above it is the exception, really. Makes him more of a hero in my eyes. Report Review
Half a box of tissues later... okay, maybe I'm exaggerating a bit, but I cried a fair amount in this chapter. It was very, very beautifully written. I know most of the authors that you refer to in your A/N and agree that they are awesome writers!Author's Response: I always admire writers who can make you cry, and I tried really hard to make this a chapter that showed the devastation of the war. Andromeda having a nervous breakdown (next chapter, I know) is of course an author's choice, but not an unrealistic one. Every war has their damaged people, with wounds visible or invisible, and Harry and Ginny are no exceptions. I'm fussing with a tear jerker for just before the Christmas of 1999.
Not as good with humor, although I would like to be.
Wow, I'm really enjoying it so far and can't wait to see what else you have in store. Too many fics gloss over how they got to their "happily ever after" and just skip to the romance or another adventure. I enjoyed reading your interpretation of the immediate aftermath of the battle, especially since you let the first chapter be as long as it needed to be (unlike me on my first edit). One of my favorite parts was with the house-elves and goblins. I completely agree with the difficulty presented to house-elves having to think for themselves, indeed it's a novel concept. But taking Griphook's impression of Harry because of the burial he gave Dobby and actually using it to further your story is absolutely brilliant! I'm on tender-hooks to see where that goes.
Just a few pointers: I found it a bit unclear as to when you were talking about in the first few paragraphs and it moved a little too fast to Ginny taking Molly upstairs (maybe clarify what part of DH you're referring to, although I got it in the end). Also, Lee's last name is Jordan, not Hamilton (a minor thing, and I'm sure I'm not the first to point that one out). Lastly, don't be afraid of making new paragraphs. They allow readers to know that a sequence has ended. Plus, conversation flows much better when each speaker has a new paragraph (except in some very strange circumstances".
Moving on to the next chapter...excellent work so far!Author's Response: Always thrilled when another author reviews my story. The first chapter is long. I fussed with it a long time, and then Mrs_Grainger added a couple of bits and helped me. I am glad you like it. Thank you for finding the Lee Hamilton reference; you are the first to mention it, and it is fixed. I actually know where Hamilton came from. Lee's oldest son, in James Sirius Potter's class, is going to be Hamilton, and his two year younger brother is going to be Hudson.
There is a lot about house elves in the story, and Goblins.
I have added a few paragraphs in the first three chapters, and hope that helps. Mrs_Grainger and I have written back and forth about timing, and how to clear up the chronology. I am concerned; as an author you eventually know your story too well. I wish I had two or three beta readers to catch this type of thing.
Cute, although I can't imagine who Kayla is. It was rather well written, despite the spacing (which is definitely something to get used to on this site). I loved all of the little vignettes of the different groups of people and thought it flowed well. Good job!Author's Response: Kayla is my own creation of a partner for George, but i forgot to put that in the original summary so its fixed now. :)
Yes, the spacing can be quite a pain sometimes. I had to fix it about four times before it looked normal!
Thank you for the review!! Report Review
Ha, what great fun! You always take something simple and turn it into a great story. Thanks.Author's Response: Hi, thanks for reading. I haven't had time to write anything long, so I'm doing short stories ore one-shots. THis was written when I saw a challenge on SIYE and wanted to enter. It won for Best Overall.
I appreciate the nice comments
seeker68 Report Review
I no longer remember how I originally contacted the person who created my banner and that was the only time that I've discussed hpff things outside of the website. My recommendation would be to visit me at siye.uk.co, where I have the same username and story. We may talk outside of the websites that way without actually violating any rules or giving away personal information to the public.
I thought that this really was funny, although again you could have taken it a few steps further. I'm really looking forward to what you have in mind for some of these stories.Author's Response: I'll find the answer than! thanks again for reviewing on this chapter!! Report Review
It's really not a bad start. And I have to say that I am mightily impressed, especially considering that this isn't your primary language. It's a great concept and I can't wait to see where you take it! If you need a beta, please feel free to send me a message (click on my name to get to my page). I've never done it before, but my grammar and punctuation are quite good.Author's Response: Wow, thanks! I might actually take you up on that offer you know!
I appreciate to learn from you on two different stories; makes me all warm inside to see that one story of mine made you want to read others; just for that, you made my day again!! Report Review
What a lovely story! I thought that the characterization was perfect and it was interesting to see how each head of house brought their thoughts to the table. I just might have added that Ron has it within himself to take on a leadership role, but hasn't been given the opportunity. I'll have to see what else you have to offer. Thank you for sharing this with us.Author's Response: This is very much appreciated lady! I'm glad you enjoyed and I like the idea you brought; I might ask for your permission to add it if I decide to positively modify this story one day.
I had pleasure writting this and it feels very good to hear that others find the same feelings by reading it.
I thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts with me. Report Review
Okay, so I'm sure someone has asked this before me, but I really couldn't help myself. What on earth do they need scarves and gloves for in August? You make numerous mentions of them and I just can't figure it out. Has the school year changed? Maybe I missed something.Author's Response: Haha, that is totally my fault! New Zealand seasons. It's winter there in August. Report Review
I thought it was rather well done! Not too many errors that it was difficult to read. You did a good job of not only bringing out Albus's personality, but those of the other characters as well. You might want to think of following this up with a sequel, hint, hint. Report Review
Okay, so now it's my turn to review for you. Upon seeing the length of your next saga, I can see how you don't really have time to read anything else.
I can only guess that I had stopped following stories for awhile, and yours somehow got lost, since I know that I'd read most of it before. But, in an attempt to find something good to read while I work, I found you once again,
I only have one request for your next fic (a bit belatedly): watch your commas. They should always come before and after a name when a person is being addressed (in conversation). There are other times that you miss them that cause me to pause and wonder as to your actual intent of meaning.
Otherwise, this is such a wonderful story that captured my heart. I hope to see a bit more action in the next fic, but for the most part your writing will keep me hooked. Good Luck in the next!
LadyMBlackAuthor's Response: LadyMBlack,
Thanks so much for coming back! You're right, writing this story has kept me busy, and since this is only a hobby, sometimes real life and work keeps me interfers with even that!
Thanks for the tips about the commas. I will try to watch that going forward. I'm glad you are enjoying the story. I hope you enjoy the next one as well.
Mrs_Granger Report Review
I know I only review every few chapters or so, for which I do apologize. However, I think I have quite a good excuse for just speeding on past the last one. You definitely have a way with describing a situation so that the reader can become a part of it. The broom race was a brilliant idea...so much Quidditch throughout the series and most fics. This was something different that was really very interesting. Of course Harry's actions are as legendary as ever! Your depiction of everyone waiting was wonderful...no one other than family allowed inside indeed.
Some things that I would have expected you to have fixed by now though: There are a number but I will limit myself to two.
An apostrophe Author's Response: This review appears to be incomplete but if the apostrophe comment is with regard to the word were again then it is pointless as I explained in my answer to your last review
Kiagh88 Report Review
You've certainly drawn me in! I know that I will continue reading. It's well written, at least in terms of terminology and verbiage. I would ask that you work a little harder on your homophones like "there" and "your" and you tend to forget that an apostrophe needs to be used for were...it should be "we're."
I read up until this point, expecting some of these things to be adjusted, but sometimes that takes more time than is available.
Otherwise, I really enjoy your characterization and hope to see some more of it.
Two points on this particular chapter, which prompted me to review post-haste:
Gornuk was killed along with Ted and Dirk. It was Griphook and Dean that escaped. I could be completely off the mark and you will explain how he is still alive in a future chapter, but I couldn't help but to point it out.
Also, Ginny has obviously been inside Gringott's with her parents; we even see it in CoS.
Keep working, it's all worth it in the end. I'm clicking on "next" in a few moments...Author's Response: Thanks, however I've looked through my story countless times for mistakes, and use the word were (as in there were) a lot which is a completely different word to using we're for 'we are.' Not only that but you do not explain what you think I am doing wrong with regard to homophones like "there" and "your."
I thank you for your other points, I have since looked them both up and have changed them both.
Kiagh88 Report Review
I think you've got a high enough rating on your fic to not worry too much about too much intimacy. I found it perfect, myself. Also, there is no need to apologize for a chapter like this. Not all of them have to have action, action, action. To me, a good 19 years story has a good balance of both. There is so much raw emotion and pain to deal with that you can't really slide over it. Those that have done so have clearly missed the point, in my opinion. They're not being realistic enough in the telling of their stories. So kudos to you for keeping true to "what must have happened" during the interim. Besides, I personally enjoy how they deal with the emotions and felt that you caught the banter very well. One could see the change in Ron after Malfoy Manor. Some people try to make him out to be as emotionally shallow as he had been before and I just don't see it or agree with it.
Sorry for waiting so long to review. I think I started reading this way back in the day, but lost track when updates weren't as frequent as some others. I'm glad I've found it again though as I enjoy your writing style. Now I know how to properly bookmark stories and will be able to check for updates.Author's Response: I'm so glad you found the story again. I love your work so getting reviews from you is splendid! Thank you for your thoughts on this chapter. I whole heartedly agree with you about not being able to slide over all the emotion and pain that I think the characters must have felt during this time in their lives. It just wouldn't be realistic. I think at the time I was writing the first few chapters, I wasn't yet confident in what people wanted from a "19 years in between" story. But, now that I have been at this for over a year I've decided I need to tell the story the way that feels right to me and not worry so much about pleasing everyone else. Not that I don't want people to like the story! It's just more important for me to tell it like I think it really happened.
Thanks again for your wonderful review! Report Review
Of course I enjoyed it. I think there's been a rare chapter of yours that I didn't, and it was usually because I was too anguished to read the next (before it had been posted)...lol.
Don't worry about real life. It happens to everyone and has to come first. I know that beginning a new relationship and a new life for myself has put a serious damper on my writing habits. Once I'm settled it will go back to normal. Any way, you shouldn't feel bad about it.
MariaAuthor's Response: Glad you liked the newest chapter, it felt good to post it too. Now all I need to do is finish my beta work form Mrs_Granger so she can update too.
Thanks for reading. Report Review
As always, another bittersweet chapter. Lots of laughs but a few sniffles stuck in there too! I don't recall reading the marmalade bit with Arthur in LtLA, so I'm guessing that's all new.I laughed out loud at that one. Charlie's was interesting. We know so little about him. I hesitate to involve him much in my own writing just because of that fact. I don't feel like I know him well enough to capture him the way people expect. But I think he was the perfect Weasley to use for those memories, perhaps because of that reason. I dearly wish we could have seen more of Neville's memories. For some reason I always love anything he's in.
Thanks so much, and I look forward to the next chapter!
MariaAuthor's Response: Maria,
The toaster/marmalade reference is made in the chapter where Harry and Ginny fight their way out of the wards. It was used as a security question, and then later Harry explains it a little, but there was not much to it.
Charlie is a good character to play with for that very reason. JKR told us very little about him, so he''s a clean slate. An author can take him anywhere.
Neville's memory had to be about Ginny. I see the two of them sharing a bond because they led the DA/resistance at Hogwarts during the war. I do have another memory for Neville, but it didn't fit here. I may write it as a one shot. Not sure.
Thanks for reading and the comments.
Dave Report Review
I have noticed that you really don't respond to reviews at all. Is there a reason for that?
I can't wait to see what you do next with this though. As usual, it was very stimulating. Report Review
Sometimes I forget to leave reviews as I go along, since I'm reading it all at once. I thought that having the kids act as the chess pieces was brilliant. There are two reasons for that: not only was it a throw-back to the first book, but it would absolutely get the kids to know what the chess pieces do. It was awesome. Report Review
I love how you pick up on the perceptiveness of the Lovegoods.they don't always get it completely right, but they have an idea. Luna is always good for everyone...I liked the fact that although Hermione is such a realist she appreciates Luna for what she is.
On another note, although somewhat related to the previous paragraph, I can see how you are setting things up. We all know approximately when James is born and that Albus, Rose and Scorpius are all born within a year so that they will attend Hogwarts together. You've brought Astoria and Rolf into the picture, two characters that we still know very little about because they've only been mentioned by Jo in that restricted interview.
I can't wait to see what else you have in store, m'dear! Thanks so much for sharing. Report Review
I'm finding this more interesting with each chapter. I suppose we'll actually get to see how Barty Jr. really survived trying to be someone else for as long as he did.
I thought that the interactions between Harry and Hermione to be quite apropos. She's always been extremely perceptive and so even though Ron wasn't able to "tell" her what was going on she picked up on it and is intelligent enough to know that Harry can't tell her any more than she already knows.
Onto the next! Report Review
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