Everytime I read a Snape/Lily fic, it really makes me sad for Snape. This was beautifully written. Great Job! :) Report Review
Awww this is sooo cute! I loved it!Author's Response: Oh I'm so glad you liked it, thanks for your kind review :)
Lizzie Report Review
So Yey for Ginny and Harry finally being together...
I do hope that despite what Ginny's family did, she would realise that everything was done because of their love for her. I hope she learns to forgive them... :( I really feel sorry for them especially her parents...
I had been waiting for a new chapter to be uploaded for quite a while and today, incidently I thought I would review some of the stories that had been pending to be reviewed from my post on the forums and LOOK WHAT I FOUND... This chapter made my day... :D :D :D
I hope you update soon... :) Report Review
Alright, so here is the review you requested ages ago... I am very sorry for the wait but anyhow...
You showed particular concern regarding the fact that you left the story for a bit and came back to it. While reading your story I must say it is not that noticeable... The flow is good and the plotline is unravelling quite well...
I would like to commend you on coming up with such a different story line and handling it so well... Well done...
Hope to read more soon... :D :D Report Review
Alright, so here goes...
Overall, the story is very interesting and I really enjoyed these seven chapters. One thing that concerned me and well it is probably just me but you should try and change your format a little and also make it consistent because in places it deviates from the rest... The indentations were a little distracting and annoying... Sorry...
Your grammar is good most of the time... I like the simplicity and fluency in your writing... Well done!
There are a few typos and a few commas out of place; nothing big though and I suppose one or two proof reads would remove those errors...
One thing that I noticed in your earlier chapters was that the structure of a few sentences was rather questionable. However, this problem has been relatively fixed in the later chapters, so good job on that!
Okay, so as far as the story is concerned the plot is being developed well but I understand your concern. The idea does deviate from your summary. I have not seen much protection from Dean with regards to Beatrice. Their relationship has not been developed and I would like to see a little more interaction so the readers can gather Dean's feelings towards Beatrice as well.
Another thing is that the summary promised a little preview of pre Ginny, George days as far as Dean and Beatrice are concerned and although you have given a little of that in your first chapter, I was thinking may be you could develop on that in passing through memories or even dialogues.
You could also add a little complexity to your story by introducing George, Dean and Beatrice in a love triangle... It would make the story a little cliched I suppose but would definitely maintain interest of the reader...
Good Luck and keep writing...
Rating: 7/10Author's Response: Thanks this helped so much, I was kind of afraid to write flash backs, but I've practiced with it in other stories so they flow well. And I do need to put some in, and since I have some time, I think I'll redo some chapters. But for the love triangle thing, it wouldn't work too well in the plot I already have thought out. Thanks again! Report Review
Alright. Hm. So here is your review! But before we really start I have to admit here that since you only needed a review for the last chapter, I read through only the last two chapters.
I think you are doing quite well here. Your characters are well developed and are not really contradicting their natures. So well done.
I am assuming that since you do not update regularly(?), you are a little worried about this. I am going to say that I have no idea how long after chapter 15, you posted chapter 16, but I can say this quite confidently that to the reader it seems you wrote them together at the same time.
You are very fluent and things seem to be going very smoothly. What I have gathered so far is that your story is unfolding naturally. It is quite pleasant to see this, as it is not a common occurrence in most fics. Well done once again! :D
Alright, so when I read your summary and chapter 15, I thought, "Oh boy, another of those cliched stories about James/Lily in their hogwarts years." However, in chapter 16, the appearance of May and what I have gathered about Remus/Bella/May scenario, I would say that you have taken the cliched and added such a twist and mix to it, that it has become something very new and original. I like that! Good Job!
All in all it is a very promising story.
I hope this review proved to be helpful. Keep on writing and I hope to read more from you. :DAuthor's Response: Thank you!!! That's my goal with this fic is to keep it origional and not fall into the cliche category. Yes, flow is something that I strive to have in my stories. I try hard to make sure that it just seems like one chapter ends is the next chapter's beginning. I know that when I read that makes things so much easier for me. Thank you so much for your review, it was incredibely helpful! :) Report Review
Despite the fact that I didn't really admire the style used in this story... I enjoyed the story as a whole. For some reason the fragmented scenes didn't have a smooth foggy transitions from one to the other. Nevertheless, the story was not only entertaining but also managed to reach out to me, enough as to evoke emotion. I hope to read more of your work in the future. Report Review
I think you already know how much I love this story. The very first chapter had me hooked. I am glad that Ginny and Harry finally have the hope for a happy future together.
I do wish, though, that Ginny reconciles with her parents. It would be too dire a punishment for something they did out of love for their daughter. No matter how wrong or right it might be, as an independant action. Ginny needs to realise that they did what they thought was best for her.
Anyhow, I just can't wait for the next chapter. I remember I started reading this story somewhere in July, I believe a year or two ago, I can't recall now. It is July again and I am still reading. Love the effort and the way things are turning out. Keep on writing, your readers are anxiously waiting, at least this one is...Author's Response: Hi Severus_my_hero, thanks for the review! I'm so happy to know that you're still reading and enjoying the story. Ginny has a long way to go I think. I would imagine it's pretty hard to be logical in this sort of situation, with so many emotions and memories coming into play. I would hope that she doesn't stay estranged from them either, but I guess we'll have to see how things go. I would hope that this story doesn't take another year or two to finish, lol...but however long it does, I hope that you continue to read and enjoy. :) Report Review
Ah yes, what could have been...
I really enjoyed reading your story. I hope you continue writing. Good Job!Author's Response: Awh, thanks so much dear. This made me smile, too. Especially the part 'I hope you continue writing'. That meant a lot to me. (: Report Review
I bet James would have lots of fun in that detention!!! I loved this little piece, nice work!Author's Response: Haha, he will :) I'm considering writing a sequel for the detention, but we'll see - I'm really busy at the moment. But thanks so much for reading and reviewing, I'm so glad you like it! Report Review
Amazing story! Loved it! Report Review
I loved this chapter more than any other. Your story is sure getting better and better. Wonderful job on this one.
P.S. I thought you were going to make James something of a squib, I loved this take though. Did I say it was all wonderful!Author's Response: Thanks. Sorry if I wasn’t clear before (probably trying too hard not to spoil!) Clearly, James will be magical enough to get his Hogwarts letter. The idea is that right now he’s worried he might be a squib because (before Ollivander’s test) he has never done anything magical. We now know Ollivander thinks he can make a real wand that would be prepared to accept James as its master. James, naturally, still has some doubt.
The idea is that (beyond this story) James will indeed grow to become a powerful wizard, if one in the shadow of his more talented brother. Anyway, perhaps that’s for another story!
Glad you are enjoying the story. I was quite pleased with this chapter, but for me some of the Draco/Harry exchanges to come have the edge. Report Review
Ok you have finally got the pace going, great job on that!Author's Response: Thanks. Ha! Report Review
Very nice! Very nice indeed! I loved it, it was so very sweet.Author's Response: Thanks! I loved writing it! Report Review
I hated their death too and especially as Rowling just mentioned it in the passing. But then again Fred's death did not go well either. Your story was lovely filled with almost all kind of emotions. I loved it!!!Author's Response: i hated that part of the book, how could a fmaily like the malfoys all survive but a newly formed family have to die and leave behind a baby boy- it was totallly unfair of jk, but she's the boss Report Review
I love Harry/Ginny too more than ever. I mean I can't stand Harry or Ginny without each other untill or unless the fic is written really really well. Anyhow your story was very sweet, I really enjoyed reading it. Report Review
Oh my god! I was hoping that Ron would not also be cheating on Hermione. This is such a better idea than what could have been a bit far fetched that both Ron and Ginny were cheating at the same time. Very nicely done. Good Job! Report Review
That was soo soo soo weird and random but no matter keep on writing! Report Review
I really have no idea what in the world your story was about but it had this streak (Only in my opinion I suppose I don't know) of contrived randomness that made me enjoy it very much. All I can say is that where people might say that they liked a story in spite of the fact that they didn't understand it, I actually liked your story due to the fact that I didn't really grasp what you were trying to say but still made it appreciable due to your exquisite style.
Great Job. 10/10!Author's Response: Hahahaha, thank you! It's not as confusing to me, but that's probably because I wrote it. Thank you so much for the awesome review and I really appreciate the favorite! Report Review
I like this idea and the form in which you wrote it. However the ending two sentences give me a feeling that Peter is in front of a jury giving a brief conclusion to an analysis of his life. That did not work for me because the rest was a narrative for the ordinary or perhaps just himself. Nonetheless the rest was very good.Author's Response: thank you so much from replying to my story. i am really greatful for your ideas about how i could make my writing better and will keep your comment in mind for the next story i write. again thank you for leaving a review. Report Review
Aww. I luv this story and I hope you will update very soon. This chapter though came a little late it was very interesting! Report Review
Oh my god, I loved it though i did not really understand the holding hand A/N. could you please ellaborate what you meant by it?Author's Response: Sure... It's meant to say "holding her hand" (AN: i dont mean physicly) I just musnt of done it right.
Thanks im gald you liked it
*hugs* Report Review
Oh everything is so pink, I can just imagine it.Author's Response: I love pink, plus it is so girlie :D
Thank you so much for your review! Report Review
Aww that was so so sweet.Author's Response: Thank you! Report Review
I really liked it. Good Job.Author's Response: I'm pleased you enjoyed it, thanks for reviewing. Report Review
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