Aww, I love the relationship between James and Rose. They're so close. And I loved the detail about Rose not always knowing when to stay quiet. Sounds like her dad. ;) Really, though, I love those little details you add that bring your characters to life.
Now I'm beginning to think "Lily" isn't Lily after all! I hadn't really thought about why she had rung the doorbell, but now that it was mentioned, it does seem rather fishy. Why wouldn't she just walk in the door? It is her own house, after all. I sincerely hope it's not a phony Lily under Polyjuice Potion, someone who wishes to cause harm to the Potters. Oh dear.
As to the ending... I think it's rather fitting. Harry finally showing some genuine emotion, breaking down that stone cold facade at last. The poor man. I can't even hate him for being so cold to Ginny, seeing him broken up like this pulls at the heart strings. I do think he's right, though--he needs to be stronger for the family. Where's the courage we've seen in the past? My heart just breaks for all of them.
Another great addition. There's been a twist in every chapter! Your imagination astounds me, dear!
xx Gina, your Secret Santa Report Review
I was not expecting that. Wow. I'm not sure what to type as a review.
Obviously some sort of magic is at play here, something the Potters knew nothing about. I have so many questions! Did they go looking for her when she "left" a year ago? Did they just assume she walked away willingly? Did they ever consider she'd been kidnapped? What sort of magic is at play here, and who set it in motion?
But I'm getting ahead of myself. I'm excited to see how the Potters take this reunion and if there will be any immediate effects. So intriguing! Great stuff, Becca. I can't wait to read on.
xx Gina, your Secret Santa Report Review
Merry Christmas, Becca! I'm here with a few reviews to brighten your holiday. :)
Though this chapter was short, there were quite a few gems that made it come to life. I loved those small touches that made the characters unique and relatable--like James trying to heal his mother with compliments. Beautiful and heart-breaking.
I'm curious why Lily left her family, and how such a golden family ended up so broken. This is such a different portrait of the Potters than we typically see, and I applaud you for attempting a new angle. It's dark and stirring. There's so much going on underneath the surface to be explored. Whether Harry and Ginny blame each other for Lily leaving... or they're simply hurting so much they can't approach each other... or something else happened between them that is unsaid in this first chapter. And the remaining children--how are they coping? We've seen a bit of James' point of view, and might I say I love the ending--the bit about him loving his sister, but at times, when caught off guard, he finds himself blaming her. *shudder*
Off to the next chapter, I am!
xx Gina, your Secret Santa Report Review
Glad to see you back!
As always, gorgeous writing. You have a way with words, but you must know that by now. So I'll try not to be too repetitive. ;)
I love the fairytale feeling of this piece. I'm glad you kept that quality intact. I'm not a huge fan of the more modern-day retellings of fairytales, so I was pleased to see that you hadn't disposed of the old-fashioned feeling/tone.
I also loved the switching of roles, and the idea of inner vs. outer beauty, how the Beauty of the piece acted more like a beast than the Beast (jumbling my words here... blame it on tiredness). It was heart-breaking to see him murdered by her hand, simply because he wasn't "pretty." His "ugliness" turned her into something truly ugly. I'm pleased that you were able to make this point without it coming across like the moral of the story. Stories that come to a predictable and moralizing conclusion just rub me the wrong way. So thank you for taking a different route.
Like I said, I'm feeling tired and not all that eloquent and the words I'm getting out pale in comparison to yours. So I will stop now and hope I've gotten across how much I enjoyed this piece. Please continue writing so I can continue admiring your work.
- GinaAuthor's Response: Gina! Glad to be back! And of course, glad to see such a lovely review from you!
Oh, I totally agree with what you said about modern day retellings. I can't stand when they're too modern. I definitely feel like they take away from how abstract and grand fairy tales are supposed to feel.
Thank you! I was definitely interested in exploring the dichotomy of Beauty and the Beast. After reading all these various versions of it, I got kind of sick of seeing her put on a pedestal for just seeing him as equal to her. I guess then I started wondering why someone as beautiful as her even bothered and what the outcome would've been if she was as shallow as I thought she might've been and this story came about.
Your words were absolutely lovely and reassuring, actually, so thank you for reading and reviewing! :) And thanks for reviewing despite how tired you must've been!
Celeste Report Review
I don't even. No words.
Okay, umm, that was brilliant. Honestly. You have such a command of language. Some of my favorite lines:
"howl the brokenhearted song of those who know soul-splitting loss"
"tumbled back into his mind in a torrent of watercolor waves"
"flitted around the white-clad congregation with the smoothness of staccato notes"
I especially love these three lines because they could've been generic. Harry crying out in sadness, Sirius' mind being overwhelmed with thoughts, moving his gaze from face to face. All three could've been easy, unremarkable lines. But you made them unique and hauntingly beautiful. Thank you.
Not to mention this world you've created. The Watching Room is such a gorgeous idea. It broke my heart to see Sirius watching his own death, and seeing Harry's reaction. Honestly, though, just brilliant. As was the moment Sirius realized he was dead, and the reactions of all those around him. How a world of light could become so sinister. How Ruby seemed so afraid to break the news. The animosity between Ruth and Loretta, and the latter's coldness. Beautiful, beautiful details.
I do hope you update soon. Though I don't mean to pressure you into writing faster than you should. Take the time you need to produce something you're proud of, but please, if you could, update soon? (There, that sounds better).
Please never stop writing. You have a gift.
- GinaAuthor's Response: I'm the one who doesn't have words. Truly, thank you. It's been ages since I felt even an inkling of inspiration, and even longer since I opened up Word and wrote more than an introductory sentence...until these reviews, that is.
I'm 500 words into the 3rd chapter, and it's entirely your doing. These reviews were precisely what I needed to get back into the swing of things, so I'm completely indebted.
I'll try to get the next bit in the queue ASAP for you :) Report Review
What an opening chapter! I don't know where to begin or how to structure this review, so please excuse the rambling to follow.
First, I love Ruby. Adore her. You could've so easily made her the all-knowing, vague nobody of a guide, but you made her a standout character, with quirks and emotions and everything good. Her role hasn't consumed her; she's still an individual. And though Sirius is annoyed with her, I'm the exact opposite.
I love the atmosphere. Your imagery is great, but it's beyond that. It's in Sirius's emotions, how he's torn between slightly-disturbed curiosity and a feeling that everything will be fine. Add in Ruby mentioning that his curiosity should have subsided and you've got quite the air of mystery. We know Ruby's informed but not too informed, and that Sirius is "breaking rules." Perfect perfect perfect, not forced at all.
My especial favorite part of the chapter was when Ruby told him to turn around and he finally noticed the welcome sign. Such brilliantly subtle humor. You're quite the crafty author.
All in all, beautiful. The prose is gorgeous, but a story is so much more than pretty words, and you've made sure to keep us entertained with authentic, unique characters and just the right amount of mystery. Really, I'm in awe. Just lovely.
On to chapter two!
- GinaAuthor's Response: In all honesty, she SHOULD be a disinterested, uninvested guide. It is, essentially, what she's supposed to do. She's got this task, and she's taking care of it - but she's on that borderline between doing what she has to do and doing what she has to do, but getting too involved as she's doing it. She's just as stubborn and curious Sirius is, though he doesn't know that quite yet.
But I'm getting ahead of myself.
Thank you so much for the review and the kind words, I really do appreciate them tremendously! Report Review
Your writing is gorgeous. Just wanted to start off by saying that. Especially in The Bedroom, the bit about Scorpius wanting to paint her in her own name and the moonlight and her red hair against the bedsheets. Just delightful.
I didn't have any issue with the love triangle. I might have if the characters weren't so authentic, but you paint them so believably that I have no qualms. I doubt nothing. I believe that Scorpius feels obligated to lie. I ache for Rose in her awful position as the other woman. I even feel for Dominique, for the lie she is a part of whether she registers it or not.
Thank you for writing this. Though it is short, it is packed with beauty and truth. Exactly what I needed.
- Gina Report Review
This is gorgeous, Celeste. The small details you add bring everything to life. Your prose has enough but not too much. The progression is flawless. This piece clearly took time and thought and care. You're quite the inspiring author, I hope you know.Author's Response: Oh my gosh, Gina! You're still alive :o I haven't talked to you in so long!
And thank you so much :D This piece did take ages, so I'm so glad you liked it!
Thanks for reading :) Report Review
"Oh I get it now! That was sarcasm wasn't it?"
^ LOVE. Sheer love.
"Come on!" He poked me in the arm. "Adventure time!" - I'm giggling like an idiot over here. I love that these two are cousins. It's just perfect. :D
"I asked my dad to take me to the local Muggle pool so I could learn, but because I wasn't showing much magical ability, in fact I showed none so my dad thought I'd catch Muggle." - Can't. Stop. Laughing. Ahahaha!
Oh no, why did she run away from Scorpius? Did it freak her out that much to spend time with her cousin? It was very abrupt. I feel like something else must be going on. Gah, how do you do that? You just hint at something, plant a small doubt in your readers minds, and suddenly so many possibilities open up, depth is revealed, the story comes to life. Stop it. :P
It's interesting that Pippa is so hated. I've seen characters somewhat like her as narrators - sarcastic, impulsive, humorous, etc. - but they're typically well-liked, or at least have a lot of friends. Pippa defies that cliche and is therefore a breath of fresh air. Yet she's still a sympathetic narrator. I can relate to her, and that's incredibly important.
Really though, I enjoyed this chapter just as much as the previous two. Thank you for taking the time to develop your characters, for throwing in conversations that aren't necessary for the plot, but just everyday, simple conversations that show who the characters truly are. For example, when Scorpius got angry at Rose and started yelling at her because she was messing with Pippa, who is family, that showed a lot about him. He's not just this goofy, sometimes clueless, happy-go-lucky guy.
I have to stop here for now, but... I want more Albus! So I'll be back soon. I envy your knack for humor, it's effortless. Great stuff.
- GinaAuthor's Response: Hi Gina! I hope you're having a good day.
I'm so glad you liked those lines! Such fun to write. Scorpius is so stupid. I'm so glad that you liked the fact that they are cousins, I was worried that people would react badly to it, but people have been liking it so far.
And I'm glad you liked that line! I thought it would be amusing to add in. Even though it's impossible and Pippa never learned how to swim :P
Yess. Pippa freaks out at the fact that her world is changing and a few other things. Haha! I just like to add small things here and there. I'm so glad that the story is making you think that though! It makes me happy.
To me, as her character formed, it didn't make sense for her to be liked to people. I mean she can be quite horrible and people don't like her because of that but she doesn't care. I'm so glad you like that though and that you can still relate to her. I wanted to create a character that wasn't that nice of a person but someone you could still root for.
Thanks! I really wanted to do that because the characters carry the story at times so I wanted the readers to understand them. Plus, I really like writing characters and those normal conversations. I think sometimes they can tell you a lot about the character. Yes! I really wanted to show a different side of him. He's like that but if you mess with his family, he won't stand for it. He has a big heart.
Thanks so much! Albus is in the next chapter! Glad you like the humor! Thanks so much for the nice review. Report Review
"only bad things need to hide. Shiny and beautiful things bask in the light." - I love this. She's such an interesting narrator, I just can't get over it!
"The more I know about him, the more he falls from grace and he becomes just ordinary." - No really, I love her.
I have some thoughts revolving in my head and I hope they come out right, because I want to praise you but I need the right words to do so. Anyway, in addition to loving your Pippa, I love that...
1) This is set at night. Everything seems strangely magical at night, like it's separated from reality. You got that across really well, especially at the end when she acknowledges that normalcy will return in the morning, and she can pretend that night never happened. And a situation like this could only happen at night, because...
2) Pippa is over-reacting to almost everything. Which works, because it's in character for her, and it's at night (as explained above), and she's a moody teenager, and she sees Albus as some sort of god. Add all of that together, and this moment has great significance to her. Your formula for this scene is flawless and I applaud you for it.
and 3) Albus is such a babe. Yep, still love him and his coldness which keeps everyone out. This is the first glimpse we get at the something more inside of him. But it's barely a peek. And I simultaneously hate and love you for it. ;) The mysteries are my favorite characters. And this story is primarily a story of characters, so injecting the mystery into Albus was essential and a very wise choice. Just... *cheers*
I do love this story, and I'm so glad we were paired for the Review Exchange. This isn't something I'd typically read (I tend to shy away from Next Gen.), but I'm so, so glad I had this opportunity to read and review. Off to the next chapter!
- GinaAuthor's Response: Hi! I hope you're having a good day.
I'm glad you think Pippa is an interesting narrator. I have such joy writing her and I like putting in little lines like that. I'm so glad you like Pippa because she's not perfect and has her problems.
(1) That was one of the reasons I wanted to set it at night. Everything just seems better and it can be different at night but exactly the same in the morning. Plus, I had to set it at night because I couldn't imagine an empty common room in the middle of the day.
(2) Pippa freaks out really easily! She doesn't respond well to change. I'm glad that you think her over-reacting works for her character. Really? You actually thought that? Wow. That's just made my day. I'm so glad that you thought this scene works, I had a lot of fun writing it because I wanted them to be alone but I didn't want to do something like pair them up in class or something.
(3) I'm so glad you like Albus! And I'm glad that you love him even though he is everything you just described. Haha! I don't want to reveal too much. It'll take a lot of time for Albus to open up as I want his opening up to be natural. Thanks! I am starting to love adding mysteries to my stories so I'm glad you like this little one.
I'm so glad you like my story! I'm honoured because your story was wonderful. That's so sweet of you to say! Thanks so much, you've made my day.
xxx Report Review
That was beautiful.
I'm sorry this review won't have much sense to it. I really can't form words at the moment. Oh, this is bad. No, I can do this.
Your writing is so beautiful. It's natural and it flows and it's so unique and gripping. It felt like I was swaying in the breeze as I read this story, so peacefully, yet the air, at times, felt like knives (this is a good thing, I promise). There were sentences that struck me and I carried them with me to the end of the story - or, perhaps, they carried me. I do hope I'm making sense. Sometimes my feelings toward writing are inexplicable.
I read this story twice, and it was so powerful re-reading bits that I thought were about Victoire and realizing they were about Molly. It brings such depth to the piece. I don't often like being tricked by a piece of fiction, but this worked. In this case, being tricked was everything. I honestly can't see this piece having been written chronologically. It would've lost its magic (although, your writing still would've been beautiful).
What I don't quite understand is, what happened to Molly? What is this 'medical procedure'? I'm slightly confused, and I wonder if the vagueness is intentional. It certainly adds to the surreal feeling of the piece, which I love, by the way. Some clarification would be nice, though, because at the moment I'm clueless.
I love the circular ending. The 'she is patient,' which goes back to the 'she was patient' at the beginning. It's very eerie. It makes me dislike Victoire. She seems very manipulative and I feel as though Teddy was almost tricked into loving her, in filling his void from Molly with someone else. We are never told specifically to feel this way, but then again, we are not told much in this story, yet so much is implied. I love that about this story. We learn so much about these characters through few words. Brilliant.
Okay, enough of my gushing. Basically, the structure worked, the writing was beautiful, the characters breathed, and the situation was heart-breaking. You did such a wonderful job. My only quibble is that I'm left slightly confused, but the feeling isn't entirely undesirable.
- GinaAuthor's Response: GINA!!
woah. seriously?? you felt that from reading this? i don't know what to say. wow. just wow. i am so happy that this worked - that it flowed and felt natural, cause it was hard to write. teddy's voice was very real and came easily but structuring it and getting it to balance was difficult at first. so thank you!
hahaha trickery is love! i was worried that it would be to tricky you know, that people would get too confused and hate it but i am glad that it not the case.
molly was pregnant with ted's baby and she had an abortion. she wanted to keep it, he freaked in that whole 'but we can't have a baby' scene so she terminated the pregnancy and then, victoire snatched him up anyways :( poor molly. i didn't want to throw it right out there in the writing - sort of the thing teddy knows happened but didn't want to acknowledge and then has to because Vic wants babies.
you are meant to dislike her :) and i am glad you did, cause that meant that line worked, lol. you are right - he filled a void. she waited, saw things with molly end and pounced on him.
thank you sweetie. i hope some of this clarifies it all up for you and thank you again for this wonderful wonderful review!!!
Kate xx Report Review
I haven't started reading a new fic in ages, and I am so glad to re-start with yours. (: It's such a delight to read, with characters that are realistic and hilarious, that I can really latch onto. I love Pippa, she's quite the firecracker! So full of life, so stubborn, so witty. You've crafted a great narrator, which is a huge reason I loved this chapter so much. Reading her thoughts is by far the most entertaining thing about this story.
Also, I love Albus. Already. He's one of my favorite characters, and you haven't let me down with your interpretation. And when Pippa explained his smile... it made me melt! I'm not quite sure what was happening between Albus and Scorpius at the beginning, but I am very curious to know. I instantly surmised that the two were clandestine lovers, which sounds pretty outrageous. But I'm sticking with it until proven wrong.
Overall, a great introduction. You gave a great background, but you made it interesting, intertwined it throughout a dynamic first chapter. I'm excited to read more, which will probably be later this week. But I will be back!
- GinaAuthor's Response: Hi! I hope you're having a good day! I'm so glad you liked my story so far. I'm so glad that you like the characters, I spend a bit of time crafting them so I'm glad to see that they are coming across alright and realistically because those are one of my main things I worry about.
I'm so glad you like Pippa, she's just a joy to write about. She's messed up in her own way. Thank you so much! That's made me so happy that you think that because narrators carry the story really, so I'm glad Pippa's doing an okay job of that.
I'm so glad you like Albus! I put a lot of thought into how I was going to portray his character and I'm glad you like what I've done. Thanks! Description is really going on me, so I keep on chucking it in. Haha, that's a funny idea!
Thanks! You've been so nice! I'm so happy that you liked this first chapter! Thanks so much for the wonderful review.
xxx Report Review
A Review from your Secret Santa. ;)
"Tiny beams of early morning sun flits across the floor like butterflies dancing to an unheard song." I love this. I already knew when you mentioned using first person present that the style of this piece would be different. And I love to see this added lyricism. It's beautiful writing and it really fits the voice of your narrator.
"but the truth is they don't exist anywhere except in my mind. Or so the healers remind me on a daily basis." Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh! What?! I was so not expecting this. No!
Wow. So maybe I should've read the summary before delving in, but I'm sort of glad I didn't. Not knowing that the world was a dream made it that much harder for me to let go when I discovered the truth. I could relate to Lily more because of that. When I went back to read the summary, I noticed that you do mention the coma. I wonder if perhaps you want to be vaguer about it, to create intrigue without giving that big detail away? It's completely up to you, but the surprise left me breathless and heartbroken.
You're establishing Lily's voice really well. This is only the first chapter, so I'd like to see more before I fully comment on it. So far what I'm getting is that she's intelligent, gentle, and slightly fanciful. A dreamer, if you will. I like it, but I would love to get a better idea. Please update soon! I really love this beginning.
Adding it to my favorites now. :)
GinaAuthor's Response: Merry Christmas, Gina!
I'm not even sure how to respond to this review, to be honest. Your flattery has me blushing.
This story is something of a mystery to me, I'm not sure where it is leading or even when it'll be updated. The truth is, I struggle with this one on a daily basis because of the style I have chosen to write it in. It is so completely different than what I normally write that it leaves me uncertain sometimes, but I love it all the same.
Lily (as the narrator) is such a lovely and sad character to write for. While writing this chapter, I felt torn on how to write it. I wanted to give her that happily ever after moment, but I also wanted to make her work for it as well. I'm not even sure if there will be a happily ever after moment.
One day, there will be an update on chapter two, but for now, I am glad to know you have added it to your favourites.
Thank you so much for the fantastic review,
Len Report Review
A Review from your Secret Santa. ;)
What a solitary guy. It's kind of sad, really, that he wants to forget that everyone exists. I feel like there is some underlying cause that could be explored more fully, to really get at his character. But it's definitely intriguing. I can relate to wanting silence and not being able to get it - and then that moment at the end of stolen solitude... it's like a release. Nicely done.
At the beginning, Theodore is speaking of the "petty" conversations of his classmates. What exactly is it that they talk about? Bringing in some specifics will bring us further into the world. I did like how you brought in Millicent's nagging little "listen to me" bit. I laughed out loud. You showed us quite how pathetic she is without having to go into unnecessary detail.
And once again, beautiful writing. I really enjoy your work. You really do a great job of isolating specific moments and bringing them to life. There is a lot of potential in this piece for further exploring and I would love to see you do that through editing or even writing a companion piece. :)
GinaAuthor's Response: Gina,
OMG thank you so much for the lovely review! I rather liked writing this one-shot. It was so much fun to delve into Theodore's mind for a little while and figure out what was going on in there. As someone who personally loves the quiet, I can totally relate to Theodore. Though, I don't think I'd go so far as to ignore my housemates to obtain it.
thanks again! Report Review
GUBBY! :) :) :)
First off (and this is a selfish topic to begin with), but thank you so much for the shout out in your A/N. I was more than happy to read and review this, really, as it has been some time since a story has gripped me like this one has. Maybe that's just laziness on my part, seeing as I haven't really been looking for one, but now I'm rambling and I should just get to your review, shouldn't I? :P
Wow. Hmm. Well, I don't know what to say. Really. I just... don't understand, and I mean that in the best possible way. There is so much left open, so much for us to decipher and consider and ponder. When Albus told me to "Think about it" I literally did just that. I set my computer down, closed my eyes, and tried to recollect everything that had happened thus far. And I could only come up with one answer.
Nothing was the problem. Like Albus mentioned, one way to look at it is that they were just two people, who didn't really like each other, yet remained in contact. Why? Maybe because society tells us that we should remain in contact with 'friends,' that it's polite. Everyone around them kept telling them they were meant to be, so maybe somewhere inside of them they believed it, and forced themselves together when they really weren't similar. Some people just don't get along no matter what they try, and I think you show that quite well throughout the story, especially in this chapter when you mention that their ice cream was more important than conversation with each other.
*sigh* Maybe I'm also a romantic, because I want them to be together even now. Yet I know it wouldn't work. HOW DO YOU DO THIS TO ME?!
10/10. Much love to you for writing something that truly inspired me. Seriously, reading work like this is one of the best ways for an aspiring author (me) to understand ways in which to improve. So thank you.
Never ever ever stop writing,
GinaAuthor's Response: GINA! :) Mentioning you in the closing a/n was something absolutely necessary; your feedback and reviews were invaluable and I'm really glad you've stuck with this story.
I know it's difficult to grasp, and in many ways I still don't know how to grasp it. So much thinking went into the writing, the posting, the responding and I'm glad it made you think, too.
I tend to agree with you that nothing was exactly the problem, but not so much that they were "just two people, who didn't really like each other, yet remained in contact." In my view, they did like each other. Not in the way they might have liked other friends - Scorpius, for example, or Albus liking Philip or Eugenie liking Kerry - but there is a connection between them. A positive connection, might I add. Albus does make a point to tell us that we don't know everything. I don't know everything, but I don't think their remaining in contact had very much to do with "society" telling them that they should. I think there is a positive side to their association, which we saw more of in the Hogwarts chapters, and I think that's what they were both trying to hold on to when they graduated.
I do agree that a part of their association - at least for Eugenie - was about how supposedly perfect they were for each other. That notion never once occurred to Albus, nor did anyone seem to mention it to him until Eugenie herself did. They aren't similar, that's for sure, but they aren't so totally dissimilar that they can't have a positive association. And it's not that they don't get along, because again, we know they do. Albus chose to show us moments in their relationship, and some of those pivotal moments were not happy ones. As far as the ice cream being more important than their conversation goes, I thought that was more a gesture of how comfortable they were with each other.
And as for the rest - thank you. I like that you're conflicted (I am too!) and am so, so honored to have inspired someone as legendary as you. I'll keep writing as long as you do, and thank you so, so much for everything. Report Review
Well that was unexpected. I'm still secretly rooting for the two of them to get together even though I know it won't happen. Or maybe it will. But I don't think it will. But you never know. BAH.
I feel like Albus is bitter over more than just the fact that someone had a successful proposal when his failed. I feel like he's sad he never got the chance to see what it would have been like with Genie. And gosh darnit, so am I. Haha.
Wonderful chapter, as always. I can't wait for the final chapter! But at the same time I'm sad it will be completed so soon. I miss waiting for updates on a story I really enjoy. :)
GinaAuthor's Response: BAH, indeed. I love how conflicted you are, Gina! It's so funny and exactly what I was hoping for.
Albus is definitely bitter about the successful proposal, but I don't know about never having been involved with Eugenie. He says that he never thought of her that way. It never occurred to him that she would ever be interested in him in that way. Maybe he's a little wistful about it, but he doesn't regret it. And that's what Eugenie, I think, was after in the whole exchange in this chapter. Albus never told her, truly, what he ever thought about her, about them, and that's what she wanted to know before letting him, finally, off the hook.
I'm excited about posting the final chapter, too! It's not often that 1. I have a story long enough to have a final chapter or 2. That I actually finish something. It feels kind of extraordinary that it's progressed so far so quickly, as it never would have happened normally, so I'm glad. And I hope that you enjoy the last chapter, dear (: Report Review
This is adorable! :)
Albus is so cute. Apologizing for getting into Slytherin. I love that! It's so realistic! But my favorite part was the letter. I seriously felt like my mom had written it. Haha. You've got the motherly tone down so well. I could just sense how much she loved and missed him (even though it had only been a day).
Scorpius... cracked me up. He's such a jerk! But in a friendly way. I like their relationship in this one-shot. It's great to see a Potter and a Malfoy getting along(ish).
All around, great one-shot. This makes me want to read more of your work. :)
GinaAuthor's Response: Wow, I am glad you found it so realistic and possibly relatable? That really is great to hear! I loved writing Scorpius, he's kind of confused about the friendship, since he doesn't really care who Albus is, but knows that he should.
:)BaletGir Report Review
I'm in awe.
(I was tempted to leave the review at that, but it wouldn't be fair to you. So...) Wow. I see what you mean about pivotal. This was a break through moment for not only Albus, but Albus and Eugenie as a... pair? I hesitate to use that word, but it's all I could come up with.
Well, now I know they will never be together. But the possibility that they could've been... Gah! That hit me. Not so much the missed opportunity, but the fact that they've always been right there. Right there.
HOW DO YOU DO THIS?! 10/10! You stinking genius, you!
Never ever stop writing,
GinaAuthor's Response: I said in another response that I think confrontations between these two happen more often than we see - with all the dancing around each other, things come to a head fairly often. But this is different from any other time we don't know of, certainly different from the Daniel story. And you're right, it is because this is about Albus and Eugenie as a... pair, because I can't think of a better word either.
I don't know if this will come off the right way, but I'm glad that the possibility hit you. That's what I intended. You know, this part wasn't in any version at first. The conversation took off on a completely different path after Albus realized that Eugenie was Amabel. So I'd written two versions of this story and only then did I realize that this had to happen. So I guess you can say that it hit me very hard, too.
Cue mental/emotional blushing. *blush* Why do you do this to me? It isn't fair or deserved, but I thank you from the bottom of my heart, Gina. Thank you, thank you, thank you. *hugs* Report Review
Hahahaha. Oh my. So much humor in this chapter, but it's not the expected, laugh out loud humor. Now that I think about it, nothing in this story is expected. You take the traditional and twist it in such a unique way that I'm just... *sigh*
I'm curious to see if Albus and Eugenie ever do hook up. Even if it's only for a month or so. I wonder how they would work as a couple. I don't really think they'd last, but I'm curious. Maybe I just like watching characters suffer. hahaha.
GinaAuthor's Response: It is sort of funny when you look at it, isn't it? Especially that exchange between Albus and Amabel - it's so ridiculous but it really feels like something Albus would do. And then I guess there's humor in how awkward the double-date is... but then we have this story about Eugenie, which sort of tempers the humor. Anyway, yes, I see it :P Definitely unexpected!
I'm not going to comment on that last paragraph except to say that it would be interesting to see that. Also, who doesn't like seeing characters suffer?
Anyway, thanks so much as always. (: Report Review
Eugenie would go to the Ministry over her cat. If it were anyone else, I'd have a problem with it. I'd probably say it was outrageous and out of character. But not for Genie. Just... just... how do you do that?!
Strangely enough, I feel kind of bad for her. Never thought that would happen. I really can't stand her most of the time. But not because she's a jerk or morally contemptible or anything. Just because she's... I don't know. Cold. Distant. Patronizing.
GinaAuthor's Response: She would, wouldn't she? I agree that for others it would probably be OOC, but she isn't doing it for the drama (entirely) or the comedy; she genuinely believes that there is something deeper in the matter of Napoleon's death. (By that I mean strictly the cat).
This chapter, actually, was what made me write another version. I hadn't intended to, but by the end of the first version, I realized that I'd never talked about the cat, and I thought I should do something about that. But writing it made me realize that there was an alternate path for Albus and Eugenie and before I knew it, I had a whole new version.
You never thought that you'd feel bad for her? Hmm. She is cold, distant, and patronizing, but that's what Albus shows us. He also shows us her softer sides, but what we see of her is Albus' vision. He is not the most reliable of narrators, obviously.
Love you! (: Report Review
I AM IN LOVE.
Eugenie is seriously one of the most real characters I've encountered on this site. I can hear her when she speaks. I'm attached to her. I want her to be okay.
And wow. Wow. You've absolutely accomplished the requirements of the challenge. You've created a story that is deep and gripping and poignant, yet not unnecessarily crude or violent or melodramatic. I'm in awe.
I just... *melts*
GinaAuthor's Response: I don't know what to say to that (I don't physically blush often, but I'm mentally and emotionally blushing now), but I will say that it is very difficult for even me to grasp Eugenie. I don't know if I'm attached to her, per se, but yes, I want her to be okay. And that's such an important quality in the story, for readers to care about the characters, so I'm so flattered and happy that you do. AND that you think the challenge has been fulfilled! To be honest, at some point, the 12+ restrictions hardly mattered to me and the story just flowed. So yes, I'm excited. So thank you, so, so much. As always. *mental blush* Report Review
I'm on love with this story.
I don't even know what to say. Even though you skip ahead two and a half years, you fill that time with so much by saying so little. Albus and his girlfriend. Genie in Zurich. And how Genie notices he's bulkier, and he notices her bright eyes. So much is said in so little, and I love it!
10/10, again. (: You astound me.
GinaAuthor's Response: I'm so glad to hear you say that, Gina! It really means a lot to me *huggles* Of course, you're right: there is much more not said than there is said, but it's something. There's a change, definitely, and I'm glad that it was expressed well.
You're the one astounding me. No joke, these reviews have been fantastic, so thank you again. (: Report Review
Aww, poor Al. His friends are jerks. Although he doesn't seem to have much emotion regarding the whole affair.
I love Eugenie. She's so... frustrating. The way she treats Al in this chapter is so patronizing. It's like he's a child and she's trying to explain something complicated, when it's really not. Yet it fits her character. I'm so amused by their exchange. And then Scorpius walking in. Gah, perfect timing.
I'm excited to see them in France together. I get the feeling something is going to happen, but it's most definitely not going to be a fairy tale romance in a foreign land. Hah. Something is just off between the two. I'm intrigued by the fact that they've remained friends for as long as they have.
10/10 for you, my dear. I hope to have time for the next chapter soon!
Unwritten CurseAuthor's Response: Keep in mind that this is two years after the implosion of the group. He's passed the emotion at this point in the story and certainly passed it as a narrator. We didn't see everything, but we didn't have to.
It's interesting that you saw it as patronizing. I kind of did, but it's clearer now that you've mentioned it. I kind of thought that this is how Eugenie expresses excitement, letting the frustration and the confusion build up. You're right that it isn't complicated at all, but think of what this means to her. This is her way of expressing her excitement, and Albus understands that. And oh, Scorpius, we did not know you well enough :(
"Fairy tale romance in a foreign land" and "Albus" just don't go together. Certainly the foreign land is important, but maybe not in the way that you think. And something "off," you say? Very interesting. As is that last point that they've lasted as long as they have. To be honest, I never really thought of that, but sometimes it does seem like a wonder, doesn't it? And sometimes it's a no-brainer. This was supposed to be one of the no-brainer chapters, but you've definitely changed my perspective on it. And that's a wonderful thing because I love seeing others' interpretations of the story (and there are a lot of them). Thanks again for reviewing, dear! (: Report Review
Wow. So much wonderful in this chapter. Let me list what I loved (or should I use that word? hahahaha).
1. That you don't dwell on each relationship that occurs. When necessary to mention them, you do. But the unnecessary drama and whatnot is passed over. Especially since this is in Albus's point of view, I really appreciated that.
2. The fact that Albus isn't sure whether or not to trust Genie, that he goes back and forth, but never admits this to her. They have such a unique friendship.
3. The questioning of what is said that Albus does throughout this chapter. He questions Genie's use of the word 'love,' twice, and knows she means something different each time. And then, at the end, his questioning of the phrase, "broke my heart." I love that. He's clearly got a mind of his own.
4. "I picked Scorpius over Rose. And just so you know, I don't regret it." Wow. Just wow. I love this. Family loyalty isn't black and white, and you just depicted that in two sentences. HOW DO YOU DO THIS?!
Loved this chapter. Just wonderful. 10/10!
Never stop writing,
Gina xxAuthor's Response: 1. Exactly. There are peripheral stories, of course, but not all of them are important to the story of Albus and Eugenie's association. But some of them, like this Rose issue, are, and he'll give as much attention to it as is needed.
2. Albus does not trust Eugenie, you're right. But then again, Eugenie does not trust Albus with everything, either. This is a very big issue that we'll see throughout the story.
3. It's interesting that you see what he does as questioning; it seemed to me that he's explaining things for you, the reader, and for himself. The questioning builds off of his mistrust, sort of. The "broke my heart" phrase is one of those things you hear all the time, but Albus doesn't like accepting cliches for no reason. He has to qualify things. (More like, he has to qualify everything :P)
4. It turns out that family loyalty can be black or white? Seriously, though, Albus sees it very matter-of-factly. He sees that Rose is not the best person, and he reacts to that. Not going to lie, though, those lines did get to me. The whole Rose debacle came kind of out of nowhere for me, so when I realized what would happen to her and Albus... I don't know. Made me think, I guess.
I'm so, so glad you liked this chapter and saw everything and I loved that you reviewed! And I won't if you won't. Thanks so much! (: Report Review
I'm back! :)
Hmm, I'm curious as to why Albus chose this particular story if he doesn't tell stories that don't need to be told. I'm guessing it has some sort of significance to the plot.
This was quite cute, but these new characters you've brought into the story weren't quite given introductions. I suppose this is Albus's story, and maybe he doesn't think they are significant enough to what is being told, but I felt that they were mentioned so briefly that I don't really know who they are.
But I loved the story-telling. Such a cute concept. And I'm not going to lie, I still do this with my friends (yes, I'm a college student; I'm not ashamed :D). And I enjoyed the little comments made between the story - of friendly rivalries, Rose's love of books, and Albus's creative faculty, etc. I want more of those! I want to know these characters. :)
Off to the next chapter! 9/10 for you, love.
Keep on keepin' on,
Gina xxAuthor's Response: There is significance to the plot - a little bit, anyway. Mostly it was for characterization purposes, but also to show Albus and Eugenie with people other than themselves. I know that the others kind of float by in the scheme of things, but you're right: Albus thinks he doesn't need to give them much attention. You really don't need to know who they are, because outside of the next chapter or so, you won't see them again. The story spans almost two decades; these school years, these stories hinted at, aren't part of the story that Albus wants to tell. Trust me, I feel bad about putting such little detail about these people, and I completely know what you're saying. I am glad that you liked the storytelling, though (I do it too, college student or not).
Thanks for reviewing, love! Report Review
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