Reading Reviews From Member: Unwritten Curse
  
326 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Unwritten CurseHeading Out to the Highway: Decompression

11th April 2014:
Howdy, there! I'm here from the Review Chain in the GCR. :)

Let me just say, I love Sirius. I love JKR's version of him and I can totally see that reflected in this one-shot. He's bitter and adventurous with a bit of humor thrown in. The humor was especially needed because this is a rather angsty moment in his life--so those momentary light moments were necessary breaks before we plunged back into his troubled mind. Very well handled.

I also especially enjoyed his thoughts on Regulus. I'm also a huge fan of Reg, because of his ultimate redemption/sacrifice, and I think you've portrayed him so well here. Sirius's concern for his brother who he acknowledges is not the murdering type is palpable.

And the race--perfect Sirius moment. Oh my goodness. I loved his descriptions of the man in the ascot and his sheer lack of fear and how he'd taunt the man. And the stunt at the end, where he pretends to fall off the bridge only to reappear beside the man, and how he wanted a camera to capture the moment... so delightful. This is Sirius to a tee, as is the song you chose to pair with the story.

I just genuinely enjoyed reading this. I look forward to reading more of your work!

-- Gina

Author's Response: Hi, Gina!

I'd never tried to write a song fic before this one and I agree completely, this song fits Sirius perfectly.

I think you have to have all of those elements to write Sirius well. He's a brilliantly funny guy who's gone through some things in his life that have left him pretty embittered. You have to maintain that balance or the character just doesn't work.

I can't imagine Sirius ever completely giving up on his younger brother, and I thought there would definitely be some feelings of guilt or at least missed opportunities.

The race was a blast to write. That was wide-open Sirius Black at his best!

I'm glad you enjoyed it! Thanks for reading and reviewing!


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Review #2, by Unwritten CurseMottled Blue: One body.

5th April 2014:
Kiana! I'm finally here! I kneel humbly before you in apologetic supplication. ;)

Ah, the second person narration is chilling. That was so very well done, because not only does it bring us into the twisted mind of the murderer, it also means that you didn't have to mention a name, and thus his/her identity is anonymous. I've always admired people who can pull second person off so well. Whenever I try it, it seems gimmicky and unnatural, but yours is so... obvious. Like, it couldn't have been written in any other point of view. Gorgeous.

I also really liked the discussion of the body, and how to refer to it. The murderer him/herself seemed to have a moment of guilt, perhaps regret, in seeing the body as a person, as a female, before deciding it didn't matter. That was beautifully done. And then with Lily, the body is a piece of a puzzle... until the end, when she sees her cousin and OH MY GOODNESS that was so chilling.

Seriously, this chapter is barely 1,000 words and there is SO MUCH happening that is brilliant and chilling and compelling and I'm running off to the second chapter to leave you another (very late) review.

xx Gina

Author's Response: Hi Gina, and your review is fab so don't worry at all about it!

I'm so glad that you liked it as it was a lot of fun to play it. Haha, it's not too hard once you write it a couple of times and it definitely helps in things like murder mysteries as it reveals a lot less than other points of view do.

I'm glad you liked the thoughts about the body, as the murderer's conscience becomes less and less apparent as the story progresses and writing this lack of empathy was really different to most characters. Haha, she'll get used to seeing bodies of her cousins' by the end of it :P

Aw, thank you so much for this amazing review it means so much to me that you liked it and don't worry at all about it being late!

-Kiana


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Review #3, by Unwritten CurseEvery Last Page: Hope is never lost

7th March 2014:
Hi there! I'm stopping by with a review for your new story!

I have to say, I've honestly never read a Crossover. Usually I avoid them because I'm not familiar with the other fandom that is included which makes the story confusing and hard to follow. However, in this case, I am familiar with the Chronicles of Narnia, so I'm intrigued to see how you combine the two! I'm guessing that, at the end, when the leaves rustle, it will be Peter that appears. I'm curious how Hermione will respond to him--certainly he won't look like a Death Eater. Will she speak to him? Will he somehow find them and help them? Ooh, the possibilities!

Thanks for sharing this story! Please feel free to hunt me down on the forums when you continue.

-- Gina

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Review #4, by Unwritten CurseOld Men's Games: Chapter 1

6th March 2014:
Hello! I thought I'd stop by with a review!

First, let me just say that your language is great. I loved the image of the "steepled" hands and Albus sucking on his lemon drop. The images you create are very pleasing to a reader and I appreciate your attention to detail. It made the story come to life.

I'm a bit confused as to the "trap" that Nick sets. I think I understand, but I'm not sure. Did he trick Dumbledore into admitting that the Potters had gone into hiding? If so, why is this a "trick," per say? Dumbledore trusts Flamel, yes? But anyway, that's really just a small quibble, because the idea of these two old men--who are both brilliant but also both a bit cooky--playing mind games. They are truly each other's equal.

What an enjoyable piece. Thanks for sharing!

-- Gina

Author's Response: First of all, thanks for your review! It was rewarding for me to read, and I thank you for your praise.

The story's actually set before Harry's first year. Dumbledore's mind is failing him, and Nicholas sets that trap to bring that out. It's actually early 1991, but Flamel catches Dumbledore thinking it's a decade ago. The headmaster's not doing very well.

I guess I put in a bit too much show and no tell, there. Maybe I'll go back and give it an edit.

Thanks again for taking the time out to review!


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Review #5, by Unwritten CurseI Answer To No One: Prologue - The First Weasley

6th March 2014:
Hello! I thought I'd stop by with a quick review for you!

First of all... WOAH. What is happening here?! I'm so sad about what happened to Bill. :( I'm also really intrigued as to why it's happening and who this mysterious man is! How did he get into Gringotts before anyone else? What does he have against the Weasleys? It says in your summary that this new mysterious man is calling himself the new Dark Lord, which is also intriguing. What a dynamic scene to begin the story--you leave me with questions that I want answered, which is a good thing for an opening chapter.

Oh, and your writing is also nicely done. It's clear and you paint some really nice pictures. I appreciated that as your reader.

Great work! Feel free to find me on the forums when you update.

-- Gina

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Review #6, by Unwritten CurseRaven: Raven - Chapter 1

6th March 2014:
Hi there! I thought I'd stop by and give your story some love since you don't have any reviews yet.

I have to say, Aubrey has had a very sad life for someone so young! I don't blame her for being quiet and to herself with that much grief to bear. It's hard to relate to someone who is grieving if you haven't dealt with that amount of emotion yourself, so it makes sense that she's somewhat invisible to her peers (and even the teachers). I'm glad that Dumbledore (I'm guessing it's Dumbledore) let her stay at Hogwarts over the summer. If Dumbledore is still alive at this point in time, I'd love to see him come into the story and pay attention to her. He has such a kind heart and he seems like the kind of person who would be there for her.

Also, I love that she's a shy character. I rarely see shy characters in fanfiction, which is sad, because shy characters can be so dynamic. Plus I can relate because I was painfully shy as a kid. I'm curious to watch her transformation. I imagine it will be difficult for her and full of obstacles, but certainly entertaining!

Good luck with the story! Hopefully I can come back and read more soon.

-- Gina

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Review #7, by Unwritten CurseThe story of Tori Malfoy: The beginning

6th March 2014:
Hi there! I'm stopping by to leave you a review. Congratulations, by the way, on your very first piece of fanfiction! How exciting!

Hmm, I'm intrigued by the idea of Draco having a twin sister. I don't read much alternative universe, but what I have read I've liked. I also like that you've characterized her as a bit of a rebel. She reminds me of Regulus a bit, how he did have Slytherin traits and did want to please his family, but ultimately his loyalties did not lie with the Death Eaters. I imagine it must be difficult to go against what you have been taught since birth, which makes your character quite strong I'm sure! I'm also intrigued that she dated Neville Longbottom--it makes sense, with them both being "outcasts" and whatnot.

Anyway, good luck with the story! Feel free to let me know on the forums when you update.

-- Gina

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Review #8, by Unwritten CurseGinny's Valentine Disaster: The Valentine

6th March 2014:
Hi there!

I thought I'd stop by and leave you some love on this story--and now that I've read it I'm surprised it doesn't have more reviews! It's such a sweet piece, but also well written! You have some interesting language here, like the "fresh-picked toad" color of Harry's eyes. That was so entertaining and quite a fresh image. I also love the portrayal of Ginny. I always wondered what she would think of her previous obsession with Harry, so it's wonderful that you've explored that. And that ending--discovering that Harry found it adorable--was just perfect. Their characterization was done well, even down to the bit of witty banter. Truly, this was a delightful read.

Great work!

-- Gina

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Review #9, by Unwritten CurseThinking about my weasley: Broken bonds

6th March 2014:
Hi there! I noticed that this was your first fanfiction so I thought I'd stop by with a review to help you out! :)

First, I want to tell you that I like the mystery you established here. I was going to ask why George got kicked out, but then you establish it as a sore subject ("you have to promise not to tell anyone why we got kicked out of the house") so I understand why it doesn't come up in narration. I imagine it will be revealed at some later date, so I'm curious to discover what it was and if it really was "little."

I think something you can work on is detail. Small details (such as what George was packing, or perhaps a detail about his red eyes from crying) would be helpful in grounding the scene and making it seem real. I really like those details because they help me connect to a character. Just a thought!

Thanks for sharing your piece! Good luck!

-- Gina

Author's Response: Thank you so much for the review I really appreciate it. I'm so glad you liked the mystery in the 1st chapter and hope you like to rest of the story too. I'm glad you meantioned details, and I will work on the details. Thanks again so much.

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Review #10, by Unwritten CurseThe Girl from Slytherin : Prologue

6th March 2014:
Hi there! I'm here for Blackout Bingo. I just can't stay away from your stories. :)

By the way, the banner on this story is GORGEOUS.

*ahem* So, I'm really intrigued by this prologue. I like prologues that start at a climactic point and leave me guessing as to what is happening/how things have come to this point. I know from the summary that a Slytherin falls in love with a "Mudblood" so I'm guessing that is what we're seeing here. But how did they get to this point? I wish I knew, because I'm sure I'd be screaming at the screen if I knew all the details.

I really want to get back and read more of this. I need to stop signing up for every challenge and contest and whatnot so that I have time to sit down and read! Your writing is stunning and I really need more of it (and a novel-length sounds lovely).

I JUST REALLY WANT TO KNOW WHAT IS HAPPENING. WHY ARE THEY GOING TO DIE?

Okay, I'm done. ;)

xx Gina

Author's Response: Hi Gina! :D Great to see you back!

Ahh, I know right? It fits the story perfectly as well, she really did a wonderful job of it.

Hehe, I'm glad you're intrigued! :) I wrote this so long ago but it's nice to get such positive feedback. It takes the whole length of the novel to get to this point, in fact, and I'm still on the journey to get there, but it's been a lot of fun.

I'm so glad you liked this - I've been writing it for so long that it's so lovely to hear comments on the early chapters and what people think of it. Thanks so much for the awesome review! :D


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Review #11, by Unwritten CurseNot In The Cards: Prologue

1st March 2014:
Hi there! :)

I enjoyed your take on Hugo. I don't think I've ever seen him sorted into Slytherin before, but I like it. His family is so sweet and supportive, despite the vast majority being in Gryffindor. I think that goes to show how close the Weasley-Potter clan is and how they always support each other, no matter what. It's sweet. Plus, I think this is the perfect opportunity to show that the Slytherins aren't all cold-hearted and/or evil. Hugo is clearly neither of those things and it's a breath of fresh air.

I think you've done a good job setting the scene in this first chapter. Hugo is clearly in a lot of trouble! Neville Longbottom's daughter! Oh my... I'm curious to see how his family reacts, considering how close they all are and how (as I mentioned previously) they were so accepting of his sorting. Hopefully they'll stand behind him.

Great work!

-- Gina

Author's Response: Hello!

Yeah, I kind of wanted to make Hugo stand out a little from his family so why not sort him into Slytherin? One of my aims with Hugo was to show that not all Slytherins are cold-hearted like you said. I don't like how people associate that house with bad things because personally I love the Slytherin house.
Yes, Hugo has definitely screwed up a LOT. As for his family's reactions...well I guess you'll just have to wait and see ;)

Thanks so much for your lovely review!


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Review #12, by Unwritten CurseTear me in Two.: The One where Fred Introduces Fred.

1st March 2014:
Hello! I'm here for the Blackout Battle. :)

Let me start off by saying that this is such a unique idea! Fred has become the next Peeves! Oh my goodness, that is brilliant. So that means that Fred II can see him, right? So he's a guardian angel that can actually communicate with Fred and the other students. That's fantastic! I imagine all sorts of tomfoolery will ensue!

I like the playful tone here, but there's also a sadness to it. He discusses all the girls he's ever loved (it was interesting to see Hermione in that list) and then we realize--he can't love anymore. At least not in the traditional sense. It's sad.

Anyway, I see that you haven't updated this story in quite some time, but I hope that you return to it. This is such a great idea and I'd like to see where you go next.

-- Gina

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Review #13, by Unwritten CurseDeepest Desire: The Mirror of Erised

1st March 2014:
Wow.

Umm... first let me just say that I'm here for the Blackout Battle.

Now that that's out of the way, I can say WOW again. I was not expecting that revelation at the end that Ginny's greatest desire is to be dead and to join all of her loved ones. So powerful. I was super confused as to why she was seeing dead people that she doesn't even know if this is supposed to be HER desire. I thought maybe the Mirror had been cursed or something had happened to it. Then Ginny realized what her desire truly was and it took my breath away. That was so well done. And your writing is equally beautiful. This really is a great one-shot and I'm impressed that it's the first piece of fanfiction you've ever published!

Great work. :)

-- Gina

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Review #14, by Unwritten CurseImpossible: Impossible

1st March 2014:
Hi there! I'm here for the Blackout Battle on the forums. :)

I haven't read a song fic in ages! They're really a lost art. I felt that the song directly related to the piece, which was great to see. I'm curious--did you listen to the song as you wrote this? Or was it just used as inspiration? I've never written a song fic myself, so I've always wondered how others approach them.

I liked the connection you made between Snape's parents and how his mother told him not to love too quickly and then him falling for Lily. I often forget that piece. It makes the whole situation even sadder. I've never liked Snape as a character, but you've made me feel a bit sorry for him here. Thinking about it, he's never really had love in his life. Or he has, but it's never lasted. That's sad.

Anyway, great work. Your writing is really clean and easy to read. Keep it up!

-- Gina

Author's Response: Hi Gina!
I like writing song fics, usually if I've been listening to a particular song for ages and can't get it out of my head. I'll write down all the words (or ask google to do it for me!) and start splitting it up into writable sections. Sometimes it's only a line, but it can be or up to 4.
Severus is just such a lonely, lovely character! He usually gets the blame for things that weren't his fault, and that's why I like him. It is sad that love has never stayed for him, and I'm glad you liked reading it!
Thank you for reviewing!


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Review #15, by Unwritten CurseSweet Madness: Cauldrons and Cheese

1st March 2014:
Hello, hello! I'm here for the Blackout Battle. :)

I just love the Marauders. Especially when they're at Hogwarts, because they're all such goofballs. Something interesting is going on here, though. I'm curious as to what Snape is up to in regards to his "revenge." Was Peter sent to spy on him? Poor Peter always manages to get himself stuck in bad situations.

Since I know that this is for the "Party Gone Wrong" challenge, I know something ridiculous is going to happen. I wonder what it is! Knowing the marauders, they will fail spectacularly. Haha.

Something that was a bit confusing at times was the dialogue. You don't always use dialogue tags, so at times I wasn't sure who was talking. It was entertaining dialogue, so I would've liked to know who said what!

Good luck with both challenges!

-- Gina

Author's Response: Hi Gina! Thanks for stopping by! :D

The Marauders are awesome :D It's incredibly fun to write about them in put them through such hardships and awkward situations! ^^
I can promise Snape's revenge is going to be HUGE - and Peter will end up (along a few others) in terrible situations - and it's going to be mad :P
And yes, it's going to be ridiculous :D

Thanks for pointing out the dialogue tags - I found it fun at first, not really knowing for sure who's speaking... But re-reading a chapter, it's really confusing^^ I'll take care of that in a few :)

Oh, and what Peter was up to and who the other student was will be explained in further chapters (hehehe)

Thank you so much for the great review


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Review #16, by Unwritten CurseThe Fred to his George: His Fred

1st March 2014:
Hi there! I'm here for the Blackout Battle. :)

What a sweet one-shot. It's so sad that George is still mourning his brother's loss even as an adult. I can't imagine losing a twin, especially one who was basically George's other half. You do mention that, at times, George is happy (which I appreciated), but ultimately he's not the same man he was before he lost Fred. I really felt for him in this story.

I LOVE that Freddie wants to cheer up his father and that the way he decides to do so is through telling jokes. And he practices and everything! So sweet. This was Fred and George's connection, so it makes sense that it would be the thing to make George truly happy again.

As per your author's note, I think one thing you could add are more seeing details. For example, we brush through Freddie's first four years at Hogwarts pretty quickly. I'd like to see a few significant details that happened during those years. Did he make any friends? Tell any more failed jokes? Just a couple details would help me to understand the characters a bit more. :)

Anyway, good work! This was such a sweet story.

-- Gina

Author's Response: Hey there! (Good luck with the battle)
I'm glad you liked the story, it was just something that came to me one day :)


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Review #17, by Unwritten CurseThis is not a Drapple: Chapter One

1st March 2014:
HAHAHAHA.

Oh my goodness, how do I respond to this?

First, let me say that I'm here for the Blackout Battle, which has led me to some great writing and this is no exception! I wasn't entirely sure what to expect when you said this wasn't a "Drapple," but I soon discovered what you meant and let me just say... WHAT?! This is hilarious and creative and I laughed aloud more than once. Especially at the ending. "I think I liked you better when you didn't talk." Brilliant. Draco trying to woo the apple was also pretty comical. Obviously this is not canon Draco, but I don't care one bit, because part of me almost prefers this version. ;)

One thing that tripped me up a bit was the mention of WWW. If Draco is in his 6th year, has WWW started up yet? I'm not sure.

Anyway, this was an entertaining read, so thank you.

xx Gina

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Review #18, by Unwritten CursePrison Hearts - Speed Dating Entry: Prison Hearts

1st March 2014:
Hello again! I'm here for the Blackout Battle, which is really just a fantastic excuse to 1) read more of your writing, and 2) read another Speed Dating entry. Win/win!

Yes. I adore your writing and this did not disappoint. I particularly liked your portrayal of Bellatrix. I typically imagine her as incapable of such sophisticated thoughts while she's in Azkaban, because Azkaban drives people mad and Bellatrix was a bit mad to begin with. But I like this approach--she's ever the elegant pureblood queen and that makes this situation even more eerie. Even in Azkaban, Bellatrix is Bellatrix, which means that she's more powerful than I anticipated and, perhaps, she was already in a dark place and Azkaban therefore has less of an effect on her.

I also liked the bit about Bellatrix needing Rodolphus less and less as her devotion shifted to the Dark Lord. Yet Rodolphus didn't have the same thirst for killing, so inevitably he couldn't give Bellatrix what she needed. The bit about the roses raining down from the chandelier and Bellatrix using them as target practice was heartbreaking in a way I can't put into words.

Ah, so well done, as per your usual. :)

xx Gina

Author's Response: Hi Gina! :)

Aw, you are just too sweet! Thank you! :D

I'm so glad you liked this! It was quite fun to write Bellatrix, so I'm pleased you liked her. I imagined that Azkaban did drive her a little more mad than she was before and this weird train of thought was the result of it, but that she also maintains her "class" in being haughty and proud.

I'm glad you liked the way the pairing worked as well! I did imagine them having some sort of an emotional bond, but overall Bellatrix's allegiance to Voldy and to herself and her own ambition are more important. I'm quite pleased that you found that image heartbreaking, it did make me feel a little sorry for Roddy, especially since he was quite sweet and a rather likeable in my partner's story, which made me like him more! :P

Thanks so much for the lovely review! :)


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Review #19, by Unwritten CurseA Halloween Visit: A Halloween Visit

1st March 2014:
I literally have tears in my eyes.

Anyway, I'm here for Blackout Bingo and I'm so, so glad that it's brought me to this story. I really needed this today. It's sad, but also hopeful.

When I got to the line "I asked Ginny to marry me last night"... that's when I lost it. What a special moment for Harry, to be able to tell his parents about his engagement. This is especially meaningful to me, because I did the same thing at my father's grave. And you wrote it with such delicacy and grace.

The added humor made this piece really special. I laughed despite my tears at the mention of Teddy changing his appearance and all the nursery workers panicking. You know how to evoke the right emotion at the right time to make this piece meaningful.

Now I'm convinced that I need to read more of your writing.

xx Gina

Author's Response: You have tears in your eyes? =( I don't know whether to feel happy or sad - happy that my story made you cry or sad that you're crying, but thanks!

I am pleased this was meaningful to you and it's good to know that you think I handled this with grace and delicacy. It means a lot to me coming from a person who's been through it themselves. *hugs*

I am also glad you liked the added "humour" and overall this evoked emotion for you. Thank you!


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Review #20, by Unwritten CurseBig Meanie: Big Meanie

1st March 2014:
Here for the Blackout Battle. I just had to read this story after I saw the adorable title. And I'm glad I did! What a delightful read. Let me list the things I liked:

1. The kid language. The "claust-phobic" and "prob-ly" and the bit about Albus being glad he's a boy. So adorable and so accurate. This world is definitely being shown to us through a child's eyes.
2. Albus explaining his parents made me 'awww' out loud. That his dad reads to him and his mom makes him cakes. I found those details to be so sweet.
3. The ending! AH! And Albus finishing the scene by once again reaffirming that Lexi is a "big meanie" was such a fitting end.

One thing that slightly confused me was Albus calling Lexi's dad "Theo." Wouldn't he refer to him as Mr. Nott (I'm guessing that this is Theodore Nott)? Children don't usually refer to adults by their first name, but maybe this is just an Albus quirk.

Anyway, I really enjoyed this one-shot. Great work!

-- Gina

Author's Response: Hey!

I'm so glad you liked it, it's something I loved writing so much because Albus is basically me. It was so natural and easy.

Albus calls him Theo not Mr. Nott (yes, it's Theo Nott) because he's known Theo for a long time and Theo doesn't like Mr. Nott, too formal and reminds him of his dad, so Theo is all Albus knows him as. :)

Thank you so much for leaving a review!

Sam.


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Review #21, by Unwritten CurseJourney to the Centre of (Mollyís) World in (Less than) 80 Days: Uncharted

1st March 2014:
Howdy, partner! The Blackout Battle gave me an excuse to finally come back and leave you another review. Woo hoo!

First... WARTHOGS. :D I died.

Witty banter for the win. Seriously. Heath and Molly are just a delightful pair. Heath seems so well meaning, despite his annoying tendencies, but Molly is so skeptical. It makes for awesome humor.

I really enjoyed the spiritual/otherworldly atmosphere of Stonehenge. It seems to be an entirely new form of magic. Socks and Sandals was hilarious and at first I thought he was just going to tell them a bunch of theories and burn incense and that it would be silly--but something deeper is happening here. I'm really curious as to where they will end up in the next chapter.

And finally, all the little details that you throw into your writing are great. The bit about the emergency tampons made me giggle. And Raj singing on the toilet. Also, the Star-Spangled Order of Merlin (or whatever it was) was interesting, as was the reaction to it as sounding like some old rock band. Another bit that stuck with me was Molly "valiantly" holding back an unexpected laugh. These little details really bring the story to life. You are clearly a thoughtful writer and as your reader I appreciate that.

I'll be back for chapter four soon!

xx Gina

Author's Response: Partner! So lovely to hear from you! Now you have reminded me to go read Hourglass, which I have been neglecting :(

Haha! I'm glad you liked that little addition. Warthogs makes a lot more sense as a word than Hogwarts, namely, that it's real.

You found the dialogue witty? I am so relieved. I always try, but sometimes I worry about coming across as trying too hard... or not hard enough. I'm so happy that you found it to work!

I loved writing Stonehenge that way! It's always been this really mystical/spiritual kind of place for me, and having someone like Molly experience that sort of feeling from it was an opportunity I couldn't pass up to show another side of her character. And Socks and Sandals is just... he knows his stuff, despite his terrible fashion sense.

You think I'm a thoughtful writer? OMG *DIES OF FLATTERY OVERLOAD* I'm blushing so hard right now. That means so much to me, you have no idea.

... Now I've just come off as a little creepy. I'm not usually this creepy, I promise - just in reviews, sometimes.

Thanks so much for reading :)


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Review #22, by Unwritten CurseMeddling Aphrodite: She Sits On Her Throne

27th February 2014:
Hi there! Here for the Review Exchange (sorry for my tardiness).

Can I tell you how much I laughed at the first line. "and all that good stuff" It set me up for Aphrodite's character without me knowing it--she's very easily distracted and seems to flit about, which is exactly what this line did.

I rather like "Heffy" here. Strangely enough, he may be my favorite character. I love how you've characterized him as this soft, intelligent man who is kind yet cannot seem to be charming (though he tries). I didn't like Ares, forcing poor Aphrodite into antiquated gender roles. Blegh.

I'm a bit curious as to why she has never seen a wizard before. If she's been meddling with peoples' love lives for--well, an eternity at this point--I imagine she'd see a wizard. So that part threw me off a bit, though I do like the scene where she discovers Diagon Alley (and can I admit, rather sheepishly, that I never made the connection between Diagon Alley and diagonally... I just admitted this to my husband and was laughed at). Anyway, I liked the kid-in-a-candy-store feel that I got from her discovering the magical world. I imagine the wizarding world would feel quite the same in discovering the gods of mythology were real as well!

Lastly, I liked the playful air to this first chapter. I will be the first to admit that I've never been a fan of mythology, but I rather like this modern take. And I liked your hint at Aphrodite wanting to change with the times. I think that line is what made it okay for these gods to be acting so modern and playful. These aren't the gods from our storybooks, they are the gods of here and now. And I think that's brilliant.

Anyway, I hope I was helpful. I plan to come back and review the second chapter tomorrow. I'm looking forward to more laughs and more snark.

-- Gina

Author's Response: As someone who has read far too much Percy Jackson, this story is exactly how I've come to picture Aphrodite in my head instead of the goddess that she is described as in the actual Greek myths.

I'm so glad that you like Hephaestus! I have a soft spot for him as well because I picture him as the best friend that the girl never even thinks about in a romantic way and the poor lad accepts it but is there for her even though he knows that he's never going to be seen as anything more than a brother. I'm having a lot of fun with Ares actually, but I think it's mostly because I'm trying to make him not as kind.

Well, the way that I pictured it was that the wizarding world has designed itself to not be seen by those that are not witches, wizards or beasts and the gods and goddesses aren't witches and wizards. Everyone in the Potterverse has a different type of magic than what the gods on Olympus have (in my head at least). And if Aphrodite had seen something weird or unusual, she probably would've dismissed it as something normal because the world has done some pretty weird stuff in this century.

Don't feel bad for not noticing that Diagon Alley went diagonally, it took me a very long time to find that out and when I did I felt really stupid for not noticing it earlier.

I can say that I enjoy mythology but it's mostly Greek, Roman, and a little Egyptian (although Egyptian mythology is a little mind boggling and I still have trouble understanding some of it) but besides those three I don't know much else. I feel so accomplished however to hear that you like this more modern version of it. I've always thought that the gods would change with the times, if you can't change with the times you're going to get left behind and lost and being left behind and forgotten is not something that I imagine any deity would really be okay with.

If you do come back to read the next chapter, I sincerely hope that you enjoy the second chapter as much as the first one. Thank you so much for your brilliant review!


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Review #23, by Unwritten CurseA Lightness: not quite her name

21st February 2014:
Nicole.

Nicole, Nicole, Nicole.

I did not know that you were such a brilliant writer! (probably because I have seriously slacked in reading your writing) I saw on your HPFF profile that this story had won loads of awards so I figured I'd read it.

Excuse my incoherence.

Nicole, this is stunning. Your prose is so new it's breath-taking. I particularly loved the paragraph about dread, which is an awfully simple concept, but you wrote it so strikingly--Lavender laughing to show the feeling of weight that she was present. And the notion of something sitting against her ear when she closed her eyes. I can't even.

I have to tell you that I never read one-shots that are this long. I began reading thinking I'd abandon half-way (I'm not the best at staying focused), but I could not peel my eyes from this story. The characters became real. The plot had meaning. Just everything.

EVERYTHING.

I may be crazy, but I am adding you to my Favorite Authors. I can't imagine anything less after reading this beauty. I'm your newest fangirl.

xx Gina

Author's Response: OHMYGOODNESS

GINA ♥ ♥

/What/ do I do with this review!?!?

Seriously, seriously, THANK YOU. THANK YOU for choosing to read this fic, right to the end; the sheer length of it has always bothered me a little, and I'm always afraid that people would get bored halfway and abandon reading. It's the first one-shot I put up here on HPFF and it's incredibly wonderful that even today I'm getting such amazing feedback from awesome readers like you! ♥ So to hear that you couldn't stop reading (I have the problem of staying focused too, haha!) is just the BEST compliment ever.

THANK YOU, LOVE.

Gaaahh, thank you so much for the author favourite; I'm still a bit blown away by this and by everything you've said.

♥ ♥

(this response is full of hearts, I know, but still not enough to convey ALL OF MY LOVE so have plenty more. :P ♥ ♥ ♥)

teh


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Review #24, by Unwritten CurseThe Boy With The Blue Hair: Off to King's Cross!

18th February 2014:
Hi there! I'm here for my end of the Review Swap (sorry for the wait!).

AH!

I am so glad I chose this one-shot. It's adorable. I teared up a little when Darcy asked Teddy to tell her brother that she'll miss him. Such a tender moment. And Teddy--YES. He's such a sweetheart here, just as I imagine him. Excuse me while I babble incoherently at the cuteness. AASOHDJEINUAE!!!

I really enjoyed the narration, too. Seeing through the eyes of a child is so refreshing. The things she notices and thinks are so fitting. The bit about her socks made me chuckle. And how his pink hair matched her ribbon. It's egocentric because at that age, children believe they're the center of the world. But it's also precious because she cares about her brother not missing the train. She's quite a character!

Anyway, I'm glad we could do this swap. I love reading stories from authors I haven't read before!

-- Gina

Author's Response: Hello!
I'm so glad you enjoyed this one-shot! I love writing little kids, and Darcy was really fun for me because she's so outgoing and spunky! I also loved writing Darcy and Teddy together because he's so nice to her and humors her when she asks him to turn his hair pink :)
I'm so glad you enjoyed this, and enjoyed Darcy! My story A Spoonful of Sugar is actually about Darcy when she's seventeen if you're ever curious as to what she's like when she gets older! Thank you so much for the lovely review!
Cassie :)


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Review #25, by Unwritten CurseWinds of Desire: Caught Red Handed

18th February 2014:
Hi there! Finally here for my end of the Review Swap (sorry for the wait).

I'm a sucker for a good Dramione, so I thought I'd take a look. This set up is different from other stories I've read in that it's not set during their Hogwarts years. Here, you're following canon, up until a point. Poor Hermione. Ron seems very juvenile in this story, which seems fitting considering they're still pretty young and I don't think Ron will ever grow up. :P

I'm curious about the cell phones, though. Why do they need cell phones when they can use owls and the floo system and apparition? It seems odd for witches and wizards to be using Muggle technology.

But seriously why is Ron being such a jerk! (sorry I keep retuning to this--he really is being awful to Hermione)

I'm fully prepared for Hermione to go absolutely crazy on Ron (like the bird incident in the sixth book). She's a strong woman--Ron is even more of an idiot for messing with someone as intelligent and caring and fierce as Hermione. This makes me sad, but I'm happy to know that it's Draco that picks up the pieces. Ah. This is almost inspiring me to start another Dramione myself. I say almost because I already have WAY too many WIPS.

Anyway, thanks for doing this review swap with me! So glad to have found another Dramione fan. ;)

-- Gina

Author's Response: Hey!
Thanks for the swap!
I am glad that you liked my story and it even inspires you to want to write another Dramione :D This was my very first fanfic and I know that it needs some work- alot of work. Maybe I should even put AU because it is so not how Draco and Hermione would be? Idk... :) But thanks for stopping by and I'm glad you enjoyed reading it! And I agree, Ronald Weasley needs a good slap! Lol.
-Lindsey


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