Reading Reviews From Member: Unwritten Curse
  
332 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Unwritten CurseOf Final Thoughts: How to Say Goodbye

24th May 2014:
Hello! I saw that you had entered the Second Person POV challenge and just had to read your entry!

Sorry in advance if this review is incoherent. That ending really got to me, so I'm having a bit of trouble formulating words...

You took such a creative angle to this challenge. Using second person and first person made this piece so chilling. I don't know much about Dearborn as a character, but I found myself feeling genuine pity for him--that he's speaking to Moody as he's dying is so I can't find the word for it. It shows how desperately he seeks Moody's approval/looks up to Moody, and also how desperate he is not to die, that he's speaking to a man who's not even there. Just rambling until he can't ramble anymore. Ah.

As I said, it was the end that really stuck with me. The idea that Moody won't ever hear this story. He won't know for sure whether Dearborn died a coward or a hero. That is what is so chilling. The notion of an untold story, of the unknown--you made that so real.

Such a beautiful piece. Good luck to you as well and thank you so much for doing this review swap with me!

-- Gina

Author's Response: Hey there!

I really didn't spend much time on Caradoc's character, especially right off the bat, but I kind of wanted to make him feel like the reader should already know him (if that makes sense). Since you were able to make a connection with him, feeling pity towards him, I suppose it was a mildly effective method.

"Rambling until he can't ramble anymore" is exactly what I was going for. It was meant to be some sort of goodbye to Moody in combination with dwelling on what could have been.

Thanks so much for the lovely review, and for the swap!

-Rumpel


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Review #2, by Unwritten CurseLove in Three Acts: Act 1: Friendship

24th May 2014:
Rose! Thanks for doing a review swap with me. :) I saw this story and simply couldn't resist!

I have nothing but good things to say about this first chapter. I adored the introductory paragraph--you are such a pro at setting the scene and then diving into action, all within the span of one paragraph. It's succinct and informative. And can I just say that Mrs. Potter is adorable.

I'm also a fan of Peter in this piece. I like that he's not the pity friend, but actually part of the group, and that you showcase his attraction to the "dark side" without going overboard. He's a character in his own right and that was great to see.

Now for the fun part: OMG REMUS AND SIRIUS ARE PERFECT. I LOVE the awkward friends-but-maybe-something-more that was happening throughout the chapter. The hand on the knee. The fear of sleeping in the same bed. Fighting together during the water fight. It made the kiss at the end feel like FINALLY.

Oh, I do have one question/suggestion: I had a bit of a hard time focusing at certain parts because the point of view seems to weave in and out of Sirius's thoughts and then Remus's and then a more general perspective. It wasn't a stumbling block or anything--the action is clear and the story progresses cleanly. I suppose I just wanted one perspective to cling to, or at least for their to be a distinct divide between one perspective and the next, just to tighten things up and clarify certain sections.

But seriously, I loved this. Your writing is so clear and you convey the story with such ease. I was hooked from the start.

xx Gina

Author's Response: Ah! Your review is just too nice. *hugs* The first paragraph was a moment of inspiration when I sat down to write it. Starting off with Mrs. P and her reaction to having that many boys around was a fun way for me to get into the action. I thought they needed a bit of context before going on random adventures together, lol.

I can't stand it when people leave out/muck-up Peter. He's never really a huge character when I write but I like to make sure he's there and an equal. I'm so happy you noticed that. :D

hehe, now to the yummy part. I was so worried that their tentative romance was awkward or too subtle (or not subtle enough). I've never written about people in the midst of becoming a couple - at least not like this.

I agree that the narrator is a bit random in this chapter. I meant it to be a bit more nuetral but spent more time in Remus' head then sporatically went to Sirius. :-/ I'll have to poke at this again sometime to see if I can straighten that out.

Thank you so much for such a delightful review!! i'm really glad you liked this!!

-Rose


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Review #3, by Unwritten CurseSeverus Snape - No Turning Back: Severus Snape - No Turning Back

29th April 2014:
Hi there! Time for my promised review on your entry.

First I have to say thank you for taking such a unique route with this challenge! I think yours is the only entry to explore a character's death from the perspective of another character. Kudos for that!

My favorite part of this piece was actually the bit where Snape discovered that Harry would die, too. Despite his hatred for James/his bitterness whenever he saw Harry, learning that Harry would die (even though he didn't, in the end) and feeling the sorrow he felt was so moving. I genuinely appreciated that part.

I also liked the part where he was pondering how he thought Dumbledore would always be able to escape. That he'd always find a way out. I thought so too, reading the series. He seemed invincible. So for Snape to be so surprised that Dumbledore could--and would--die was perfectly believable. I actually smiled at that part, because it made Snape seem childlike in his reverence toward Dumbledore. Good character development.

Anyway, thank you for entering this challenge. It was a joy to read your piece!

-- Gina

Author's Response: Thanks very much for such a kind review, and for sharing your thoughts about this piece. I really enjoyed reading them. I'm glad I don't have to judge the entries, because I've read and reviewed nearly all of them myself so far, and they're all so wonderfully creative.

Thanks for offering such a terrific challenge. I've never done a writing challenge before, but the minute I read yours, the idea for doing this moment for Snape jumped to mind and I started writing on the spot before I lost the inspiration. This isn't my usual writing style either. All my other stories are normal story plots with dialogue, so it was nice to deviate for a change, and have something in a different style to post on my author page. Thanks again, and have fun judging!


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Review #4, by Unwritten CurseInside: Inside

29th April 2014:
Hi there! I have finally got around to reading and reviewing all the entries! Woo!

First, I have to say that I'm so glad you chose Broderick Bode for this challenge. I wasn't familiar with his backstory so I looked it up and it's so fascinating (and heartbreaking). That he was finally starting to get better when he was killed by a "present" from Death Eaters. So sad.

I think you handled the situation very well. His frustration at feeling better yet being kept in the hospital, paired with his desperation to remember what happened was authentic and moving. I'm not sure what happens after a wizard recovers from the Imperius Curse, but this was a compelling interpretation.

Seriously, I just love minor characters. There is so much left open to explore. So thank you for going a lesser-known route. It made this piece all the richer. And thank you for entering the challenge. I genuinely enjoyed your entry!

-- Gina

Author's Response: Hi!

I like minor characters. A lot. Bode is not the most obscure I've done! I could tell he wasn't one of the really obscure ones when I found myself having to rethink bits of the story to fit canon :P (like he apparently believed he was a teapot)

By the way, he was actually recovering from being forced to touch the prophesy - not just from the Imperius Curse. And of course he felt better but he wasn't - he still had very little control over his body.

Really glad you enjoyed it - and if you love minor characters I have plenty! (Hey, I wrote 5 chapters on the first muggle-born minister for magic, who only appears on Pottermore!)

Thank you for the challenge - it was great fun to enter! (I did start this story straight away, then shelved it for a while until I could panic over the approaching deadline...)

- Leonore


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Review #5, by Unwritten CurseTime, Space, and Blunt Force Trauma: for old times' sake.

29th April 2014:
NICOLE. STOP IT. STOP BEING SO BRILLIANTLY TALENTED.

Just kidding. Don't stop. Because then I wouldn't have any more of your stories to read, and I would be quite empty if that were the case.

I came to review for my challenge and then forgot this was a challenge halfway through. The narrative swallowed me, as your writing tends to do. I'm afraid that this review is going to be another indecipherable squee. Please don't hate me.

Okay, so my favorite part of this story was the whole thing, but my favorite favorite part was actually when the Order was heading to help Harry and co. at the Ministry and Sirius was making giddy smalltalk while the others were essentially brushing him off. It's Sirius to a tee, because he's relieved to finally be out of his house/slightly mad for being turned prisoner again/anticipating the excitement of battle. I loved the complexity in that simple scene. It was magically done. That and the scene with the wine glasses and Kreacher. (I laughed aloud at the "Two hundred years later")

And your language. Oh, Nicole, your language. I would quote my favorite line, but, again, I'd be quoting the entire piece. Such creative turn of phrase. You make even the smallest, simplest moments into something memorable.

I ENVY YOU.

Oh, I can't end this review without asking you one question re: the ending. Was the "I am, I am, I am" a wave to Sylvia Plath? I read it as such and for that reason was in tears.

Thank you for entering this challenge.

xx Gina

Author's Response: OHMYGOSH GINA. WHAT IS THIS AMBUSH OF COMPLIMENTS!?!

♥ ♥

Eep, eep eep what do I /say/ to a review like this! THANK YOU. I could NEVER hate you, lovely. Your squees made me squee myself, and I'm honestly so pleased you enjoyed this! I've been wanting to write a fic on Sirius's death for a long time, and your challenge really helped kick-start my dormant plunny into life.

Oh, I'm glad you like those reckless Sirius scenes, where he seems unable to take things seriously (oh dear, excuse the pun!). Yeah, he is indeed relieved to be out of that suffocating house; I also like to think that he's lost touch with reality a little. Or that he's been so isolated that he's determined to throw himself out there completely, without a thought for the consequences. I do feel that, if he'd thought a lot more about Harry and what would happen to his godson if he, the godfather, died, he wouldn't be so reckless.

Aww, I love what you say about the simplest, smallest moments. ♥ I /love/ writing about the mundane things of life; I like to analyse them and observe them and possibly find special things in them, so your words are just such a massive compliment.

Yay, you're the only reviewer to think of Plath! I was definitely thinking of 'The Bell Jar' when choosing those words, but I was also thinking of Tobias Wolff's short story, 'Bullet in the Brain', which influenced this story. His story ends on a similar note, but his words are 'They is, they is, they is.' I can never hope to emulate either of these writers.

Thank YOU for setting this challenge and for reading and for reviewing and for being such a wonderful friend! ♥



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Review #6, by Unwritten CurseApogee: Waxing Crescent

29th April 2014:
Wow. I loved this.

I'm here to review your challenge entry and I find myself at a loss for words. This was beautifully written and beautifully felt.

I am surprised to hear that you don't normally write in first-person! It seemed very natural. And the voice was perfectly Remus. I easily fell into the sweep of the narrative and was captivated through to the end. Oh, and the dialogue? Brilliant. The scene in which Remus and 'Dora are talking/fighting about him leaving for the Battle at Hogwarts was masterfully done. I could feel the complexity of the moment and their personalities/loyalties clashing.

I appreciated that the actual death scene was short, because the build up was what made this piece sing. The close-up snapshots of Remus with his family made his death poignant.

I really don't have anything bad to say about this piece. I genuinely enjoyed it. (I tend to love sentimental pieces, so this was truly right up my alley) I do have one question though: Did 'Dora come with him? Obviously in the books she did, but it was unclear in this piece.

Anyway, thanks for entering the challenge!

-- Gina

Author's Response: Howdy!

Thanks for the kind review! I'm glad you liked it! Your challenge was awesome for pushing me to write in a condensed format and a different perspective than I normally do.

The main thing I definitely wanted to capture was the deep complexity in Lupin's life from his relationship with Tonks, to the idea of family, to society, to himself. To that end I took the snapshot approach to a lot of those issues and hoped the brief death scene along with that would come off exactly how you described.

As for Tonks, another reviewer actually broached this same issue, and unfortunately my books are now packed up because I just moved so I can't look back again. I really try to stay true to canon though, and my understanding from the books, the Lexicon, and the Wiki was that Tonks actually arrived at the Battle after Lupin (though we don't know exactly how long after). If I'm mistaken, hopefully it did not detract, but in any event, that is why Tonks accompanying him was not written into the story.

Thanks again for the thoughtful and detailed review! Your kind words are much appreciated!


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Review #7, by Unwritten CursePlaying Pretend: The Last Remaining Fan

29th April 2014:
Hi Amanda! I'm here to review your challenge entry!

Ah, I love your writing. So beautifully crafted. You never cease to impress me on that front.

This is such a sad piece, but not overwhelmingly so. I was surprised that I felt sympathy for a character who is so frustrating in the books. You managed to make him pitiful here, what with him slowly being forgotten while also slowly forgetting. There were some great details in here--like the bit about his favorite author being Gilderoy Lockhart (himself), and how he sometimes believed that the adventures he read were his own, and the connection he had with the little old woman who was his last fan.

It just felt like this story had to be told. I really enjoyed reading it. Thanks for entering the challenge, Amanda.

xx Gina

Author's Response: Hey Gina! Thanks so much for stopping by!

It was very interesting to write about Lockhart. I agree that he's not usually a target of sympathy, and I found him very annoying in the canon series. I kind of wanted to take his downfall and turn it into something beautiful, give him a kind of dignity that he tried but could not achieve in his youth. I liked the contrast between the fame he achieved in the first part of his life and the way he sort of faded away here, with only a small memorial left behind. I guess his name was always more than the real person underneath it.

I worked hard on the details and I'm glad that you enjoyed them! It's always fun to take little things we learned about a character in canon and try to make something out of them when you go to do your own work.

Thanks again for your sweet review!

-Amanda


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Review #8, by Unwritten CurseUnexpected: Death.

29th April 2014:
Hi there! I've finally got around to reading and reviewing the entries to my challenge. I'd already read yours in the queue, but it was so nice reading it again.

The risk you took in splitting this up into two narrative threads paid off, I think. There was some slight confusion, but I think that was intended--when I finally realized what was happening, it was all the more heartbreaking. Plus, with the action interwoven with sweet moments with his family, it made the ending more powerful.

I just love Teddy in this piece. Could he get any sweeter?

And Dominique?! What a twist! That was totally unexpected. But what is that saying... Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. It seems that Dom is almost deranged in this piece. Quite a chilling depiction. I appreciated the originality.

Thanks for entering the challenge! I'm hoping to have results posted by this weekend.

-- Gina

Author's Response: Hey Gina.
Thank you! It was a brilliant challenge and I really enjoyed it. I'm enjoying reading the rest of the entries now. I love the Lupins, so thank you. Haha, deranged is a pretty apt description for Dom :D
Chazzie


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Review #9, by Unwritten CurseMy Last Leg: My Last Leg

29th April 2014:
Hello there! I've finally got around to reading and reviewing all the entries for my challenge, and since you were the first to submit an entry I thought I'd start with yours. :)

First, let me just say that I'm so glad you took on Dobby for this challenge. His perspective isn't explored nearly enough in fanfiction, and it certainly needs to be. He was such a valiant little thing.

I think my favorite part in this piece was when Luna called him brave and he blushed. He's so humble. It made my heart break a little, knowing what was right around the corner for him. I'm glad you added that small moment.

I am curious why you didn't use Dobby's voice for his narration--by that, I mean the broken House Elf speech. I think it would've been interesting to see that explored in his inner dialogue. I'm sure it would be challenging, but perhaps rewarding?

Anyway, thank you for writing for this challenge. I enjoyed reading your submission!

-- Gina

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Review #10, by Unwritten CurseHeading Out to the Highway: Decompression

11th April 2014:
Howdy, there! I'm here from the Review Chain in the GCR. :)

Let me just say, I love Sirius. I love JKR's version of him and I can totally see that reflected in this one-shot. He's bitter and adventurous with a bit of humor thrown in. The humor was especially needed because this is a rather angsty moment in his life--so those momentary light moments were necessary breaks before we plunged back into his troubled mind. Very well handled.

I also especially enjoyed his thoughts on Regulus. I'm also a huge fan of Reg, because of his ultimate redemption/sacrifice, and I think you've portrayed him so well here. Sirius's concern for his brother who he acknowledges is not the murdering type is palpable.

And the race--perfect Sirius moment. Oh my goodness. I loved his descriptions of the man in the ascot and his sheer lack of fear and how he'd taunt the man. And the stunt at the end, where he pretends to fall off the bridge only to reappear beside the man, and how he wanted a camera to capture the moment... so delightful. This is Sirius to a tee, as is the song you chose to pair with the story.

I just genuinely enjoyed reading this. I look forward to reading more of your work!

-- Gina

Author's Response: Hi, Gina!

I'd never tried to write a song fic before this one and I agree completely, this song fits Sirius perfectly.

I think you have to have all of those elements to write Sirius well. He's a brilliantly funny guy who's gone through some things in his life that have left him pretty embittered. You have to maintain that balance or the character just doesn't work.

I can't imagine Sirius ever completely giving up on his younger brother, and I thought there would definitely be some feelings of guilt or at least missed opportunities.

The race was a blast to write. That was wide-open Sirius Black at his best!

I'm glad you enjoyed it! Thanks for reading and reviewing!


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Review #11, by Unwritten CurseMottled Blue: One body.

5th April 2014:
Kiana! I'm finally here! I kneel humbly before you in apologetic supplication. ;)

Ah, the second person narration is chilling. That was so very well done, because not only does it bring us into the twisted mind of the murderer, it also means that you didn't have to mention a name, and thus his/her identity is anonymous. I've always admired people who can pull second person off so well. Whenever I try it, it seems gimmicky and unnatural, but yours is so... obvious. Like, it couldn't have been written in any other point of view. Gorgeous.

I also really liked the discussion of the body, and how to refer to it. The murderer him/herself seemed to have a moment of guilt, perhaps regret, in seeing the body as a person, as a female, before deciding it didn't matter. That was beautifully done. And then with Lily, the body is a piece of a puzzle... until the end, when she sees her cousin and OH MY GOODNESS that was so chilling.

Seriously, this chapter is barely 1,000 words and there is SO MUCH happening that is brilliant and chilling and compelling and I'm running off to the second chapter to leave you another (very late) review.

xx Gina

Author's Response: Hi Gina, and your review is fab so don't worry at all about it!

I'm so glad that you liked it as it was a lot of fun to play it. Haha, it's not too hard once you write it a couple of times and it definitely helps in things like murder mysteries as it reveals a lot less than other points of view do.

I'm glad you liked the thoughts about the body, as the murderer's conscience becomes less and less apparent as the story progresses and writing this lack of empathy was really different to most characters. Haha, she'll get used to seeing bodies of her cousins' by the end of it :P

Aw, thank you so much for this amazing review it means so much to me that you liked it and don't worry at all about it being late!

-Kiana


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Review #12, by Unwritten CurseEvery Last Page: Hope is never lost

7th March 2014:
Hi there! I'm stopping by with a review for your new story!

I have to say, I've honestly never read a Crossover. Usually I avoid them because I'm not familiar with the other fandom that is included which makes the story confusing and hard to follow. However, in this case, I am familiar with the Chronicles of Narnia, so I'm intrigued to see how you combine the two! I'm guessing that, at the end, when the leaves rustle, it will be Peter that appears. I'm curious how Hermione will respond to him--certainly he won't look like a Death Eater. Will she speak to him? Will he somehow find them and help them? Ooh, the possibilities!

Thanks for sharing this story! Please feel free to hunt me down on the forums when you continue.

-- Gina

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Review #13, by Unwritten CurseOld Men's Games: Chapter 1

6th March 2014:
Hello! I thought I'd stop by with a review!

First, let me just say that your language is great. I loved the image of the "steepled" hands and Albus sucking on his lemon drop. The images you create are very pleasing to a reader and I appreciate your attention to detail. It made the story come to life.

I'm a bit confused as to the "trap" that Nick sets. I think I understand, but I'm not sure. Did he trick Dumbledore into admitting that the Potters had gone into hiding? If so, why is this a "trick," per say? Dumbledore trusts Flamel, yes? But anyway, that's really just a small quibble, because the idea of these two old men--who are both brilliant but also both a bit cooky--playing mind games. They are truly each other's equal.

What an enjoyable piece. Thanks for sharing!

-- Gina

Author's Response: First of all, thanks for your review! It was rewarding for me to read, and I thank you for your praise.

The story's actually set before Harry's first year. Dumbledore's mind is failing him, and Nicholas sets that trap to bring that out. It's actually early 1991, but Flamel catches Dumbledore thinking it's a decade ago. The headmaster's not doing very well.

I guess I put in a bit too much show and no tell, there. Maybe I'll go back and give it an edit.

Thanks again for taking the time out to review!


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Review #14, by Unwritten CurseI Answer To No One: Prologue - The First Weasley

6th March 2014:
Hello! I thought I'd stop by with a quick review for you!

First of all... WOAH. What is happening here?! I'm so sad about what happened to Bill. :( I'm also really intrigued as to why it's happening and who this mysterious man is! How did he get into Gringotts before anyone else? What does he have against the Weasleys? It says in your summary that this new mysterious man is calling himself the new Dark Lord, which is also intriguing. What a dynamic scene to begin the story--you leave me with questions that I want answered, which is a good thing for an opening chapter.

Oh, and your writing is also nicely done. It's clear and you paint some really nice pictures. I appreciated that as your reader.

Great work! Feel free to find me on the forums when you update.

-- Gina

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Review #15, by Unwritten CurseRaven: Raven - Chapter 1

6th March 2014:
Hi there! I thought I'd stop by and give your story some love since you don't have any reviews yet.

I have to say, Aubrey has had a very sad life for someone so young! I don't blame her for being quiet and to herself with that much grief to bear. It's hard to relate to someone who is grieving if you haven't dealt with that amount of emotion yourself, so it makes sense that she's somewhat invisible to her peers (and even the teachers). I'm glad that Dumbledore (I'm guessing it's Dumbledore) let her stay at Hogwarts over the summer. If Dumbledore is still alive at this point in time, I'd love to see him come into the story and pay attention to her. He has such a kind heart and he seems like the kind of person who would be there for her.

Also, I love that she's a shy character. I rarely see shy characters in fanfiction, which is sad, because shy characters can be so dynamic. Plus I can relate because I was painfully shy as a kid. I'm curious to watch her transformation. I imagine it will be difficult for her and full of obstacles, but certainly entertaining!

Good luck with the story! Hopefully I can come back and read more soon.

-- Gina

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Review #16, by Unwritten CurseThe story of Tori Malfoy: The beginning

6th March 2014:
Hi there! I'm stopping by to leave you a review. Congratulations, by the way, on your very first piece of fanfiction! How exciting!

Hmm, I'm intrigued by the idea of Draco having a twin sister. I don't read much alternative universe, but what I have read I've liked. I also like that you've characterized her as a bit of a rebel. She reminds me of Regulus a bit, how he did have Slytherin traits and did want to please his family, but ultimately his loyalties did not lie with the Death Eaters. I imagine it must be difficult to go against what you have been taught since birth, which makes your character quite strong I'm sure! I'm also intrigued that she dated Neville Longbottom--it makes sense, with them both being "outcasts" and whatnot.

Anyway, good luck with the story! Feel free to let me know on the forums when you update.

-- Gina

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Review #17, by Unwritten CurseGinny's Valentine Disaster: The Valentine

6th March 2014:
Hi there!

I thought I'd stop by and leave you some love on this story--and now that I've read it I'm surprised it doesn't have more reviews! It's such a sweet piece, but also well written! You have some interesting language here, like the "fresh-picked toad" color of Harry's eyes. That was so entertaining and quite a fresh image. I also love the portrayal of Ginny. I always wondered what she would think of her previous obsession with Harry, so it's wonderful that you've explored that. And that ending--discovering that Harry found it adorable--was just perfect. Their characterization was done well, even down to the bit of witty banter. Truly, this was a delightful read.

Great work!

-- Gina

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Review #18, by Unwritten CurseThinking about my weasley: Broken bonds

6th March 2014:
Hi there! I noticed that this was your first fanfiction so I thought I'd stop by with a review to help you out! :)

First, I want to tell you that I like the mystery you established here. I was going to ask why George got kicked out, but then you establish it as a sore subject ("you have to promise not to tell anyone why we got kicked out of the house") so I understand why it doesn't come up in narration. I imagine it will be revealed at some later date, so I'm curious to discover what it was and if it really was "little."

I think something you can work on is detail. Small details (such as what George was packing, or perhaps a detail about his red eyes from crying) would be helpful in grounding the scene and making it seem real. I really like those details because they help me connect to a character. Just a thought!

Thanks for sharing your piece! Good luck!

-- Gina

Author's Response: Thank you so much for the review I really appreciate it. I'm so glad you liked the mystery in the 1st chapter and hope you like to rest of the story too. I'm glad you meantioned details, and I will work on the details. Thanks again so much.

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Review #19, by Unwritten CurseThe Girl from Slytherin : Prologue

6th March 2014:
Hi there! I'm here for Blackout Bingo. I just can't stay away from your stories. :)

By the way, the banner on this story is GORGEOUS.

*ahem* So, I'm really intrigued by this prologue. I like prologues that start at a climactic point and leave me guessing as to what is happening/how things have come to this point. I know from the summary that a Slytherin falls in love with a "Mudblood" so I'm guessing that is what we're seeing here. But how did they get to this point? I wish I knew, because I'm sure I'd be screaming at the screen if I knew all the details.

I really want to get back and read more of this. I need to stop signing up for every challenge and contest and whatnot so that I have time to sit down and read! Your writing is stunning and I really need more of it (and a novel-length sounds lovely).

I JUST REALLY WANT TO KNOW WHAT IS HAPPENING. WHY ARE THEY GOING TO DIE?

Okay, I'm done. ;)

xx Gina

Author's Response: Hi Gina! :D Great to see you back!

Ahh, I know right? It fits the story perfectly as well, she really did a wonderful job of it.

Hehe, I'm glad you're intrigued! :) I wrote this so long ago but it's nice to get such positive feedback. It takes the whole length of the novel to get to this point, in fact, and I'm still on the journey to get there, but it's been a lot of fun.

I'm so glad you liked this - I've been writing it for so long that it's so lovely to hear comments on the early chapters and what people think of it. Thanks so much for the awesome review! :D


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Review #20, by Unwritten CurseNot In The Cards: Prologue

1st March 2014:
Hi there! :)

I enjoyed your take on Hugo. I don't think I've ever seen him sorted into Slytherin before, but I like it. His family is so sweet and supportive, despite the vast majority being in Gryffindor. I think that goes to show how close the Weasley-Potter clan is and how they always support each other, no matter what. It's sweet. Plus, I think this is the perfect opportunity to show that the Slytherins aren't all cold-hearted and/or evil. Hugo is clearly neither of those things and it's a breath of fresh air.

I think you've done a good job setting the scene in this first chapter. Hugo is clearly in a lot of trouble! Neville Longbottom's daughter! Oh my... I'm curious to see how his family reacts, considering how close they all are and how (as I mentioned previously) they were so accepting of his sorting. Hopefully they'll stand behind him.

Great work!

-- Gina

Author's Response: Hello!

Yeah, I kind of wanted to make Hugo stand out a little from his family so why not sort him into Slytherin? One of my aims with Hugo was to show that not all Slytherins are cold-hearted like you said. I don't like how people associate that house with bad things because personally I love the Slytherin house.
Yes, Hugo has definitely screwed up a LOT. As for his family's reactions...well I guess you'll just have to wait and see ;)

Thanks so much for your lovely review!


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Review #21, by Unwritten CurseTear me in Two.: The One where Fred Introduces Fred.

1st March 2014:
Hello! I'm here for the Blackout Battle. :)

Let me start off by saying that this is such a unique idea! Fred has become the next Peeves! Oh my goodness, that is brilliant. So that means that Fred II can see him, right? So he's a guardian angel that can actually communicate with Fred and the other students. That's fantastic! I imagine all sorts of tomfoolery will ensue!

I like the playful tone here, but there's also a sadness to it. He discusses all the girls he's ever loved (it was interesting to see Hermione in that list) and then we realize--he can't love anymore. At least not in the traditional sense. It's sad.

Anyway, I see that you haven't updated this story in quite some time, but I hope that you return to it. This is such a great idea and I'd like to see where you go next.

-- Gina

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Review #22, by Unwritten CurseDeepest Desire: The Mirror of Erised

1st March 2014:
Wow.

Umm... first let me just say that I'm here for the Blackout Battle.

Now that that's out of the way, I can say WOW again. I was not expecting that revelation at the end that Ginny's greatest desire is to be dead and to join all of her loved ones. So powerful. I was super confused as to why she was seeing dead people that she doesn't even know if this is supposed to be HER desire. I thought maybe the Mirror had been cursed or something had happened to it. Then Ginny realized what her desire truly was and it took my breath away. That was so well done. And your writing is equally beautiful. This really is a great one-shot and I'm impressed that it's the first piece of fanfiction you've ever published!

Great work. :)

-- Gina

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Review #23, by Unwritten CurseImpossible: Impossible

1st March 2014:
Hi there! I'm here for the Blackout Battle on the forums. :)

I haven't read a song fic in ages! They're really a lost art. I felt that the song directly related to the piece, which was great to see. I'm curious--did you listen to the song as you wrote this? Or was it just used as inspiration? I've never written a song fic myself, so I've always wondered how others approach them.

I liked the connection you made between Snape's parents and how his mother told him not to love too quickly and then him falling for Lily. I often forget that piece. It makes the whole situation even sadder. I've never liked Snape as a character, but you've made me feel a bit sorry for him here. Thinking about it, he's never really had love in his life. Or he has, but it's never lasted. That's sad.

Anyway, great work. Your writing is really clean and easy to read. Keep it up!

-- Gina

Author's Response: Hi Gina!
I like writing song fics, usually if I've been listening to a particular song for ages and can't get it out of my head. I'll write down all the words (or ask google to do it for me!) and start splitting it up into writable sections. Sometimes it's only a line, but it can be or up to 4.
Severus is just such a lonely, lovely character! He usually gets the blame for things that weren't his fault, and that's why I like him. It is sad that love has never stayed for him, and I'm glad you liked reading it!
Thank you for reviewing!


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Review #24, by Unwritten CurseSweet Madness: Cauldrons and Cheese

1st March 2014:
Hello, hello! I'm here for the Blackout Battle. :)

I just love the Marauders. Especially when they're at Hogwarts, because they're all such goofballs. Something interesting is going on here, though. I'm curious as to what Snape is up to in regards to his "revenge." Was Peter sent to spy on him? Poor Peter always manages to get himself stuck in bad situations.

Since I know that this is for the "Party Gone Wrong" challenge, I know something ridiculous is going to happen. I wonder what it is! Knowing the marauders, they will fail spectacularly. Haha.

Something that was a bit confusing at times was the dialogue. You don't always use dialogue tags, so at times I wasn't sure who was talking. It was entertaining dialogue, so I would've liked to know who said what!

Good luck with both challenges!

-- Gina

Author's Response: Hi Gina! Thanks for stopping by! :D

The Marauders are awesome :D It's incredibly fun to write about them in put them through such hardships and awkward situations! ^^
I can promise Snape's revenge is going to be HUGE - and Peter will end up (along a few others) in terrible situations - and it's going to be mad :P
And yes, it's going to be ridiculous :D

Thanks for pointing out the dialogue tags - I found it fun at first, not really knowing for sure who's speaking... But re-reading a chapter, it's really confusing^^ I'll take care of that in a few :)

Oh, and what Peter was up to and who the other student was will be explained in further chapters (hehehe)

Thank you so much for the great review


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Review #25, by Unwritten CurseThe Fred to his George: His Fred

1st March 2014:
Hi there! I'm here for the Blackout Battle. :)

What a sweet one-shot. It's so sad that George is still mourning his brother's loss even as an adult. I can't imagine losing a twin, especially one who was basically George's other half. You do mention that, at times, George is happy (which I appreciated), but ultimately he's not the same man he was before he lost Fred. I really felt for him in this story.

I LOVE that Freddie wants to cheer up his father and that the way he decides to do so is through telling jokes. And he practices and everything! So sweet. This was Fred and George's connection, so it makes sense that it would be the thing to make George truly happy again.

As per your author's note, I think one thing you could add are more seeing details. For example, we brush through Freddie's first four years at Hogwarts pretty quickly. I'd like to see a few significant details that happened during those years. Did he make any friends? Tell any more failed jokes? Just a couple details would help me to understand the characters a bit more. :)

Anyway, good work! This was such a sweet story.

-- Gina

Author's Response: Hey there! (Good luck with the battle)
I'm glad you liked the story, it was just something that came to me one day :)


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