Reading Reviews From Member: Unwritten Curse
  
348 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Unwritten CurseThe Most Beautiful Flower: The Most Beautiful Flower

4th June 2015:
Hi there! Here for our review swap!

I have to admit that I'm not a fan of Snape. I have a hard time feeling sympathy for him, so there were bits of this story that were lost on me (through no fault of your own--I'm just heartless). I did, however, really appreciate Snape's musings about God/heaven and how he'd been through so much heartache that he couldn't believe in God, but that he would gladly take hell if Lily got heaven. That was sweet. That was one part when I did find myself wanting to say, "Aw!" So it looks like I do have a heart after all. ;)

I also liked some of the images you included, like how Lily looked like she was just sleeping except for the slight tinge of blue on her lips. That was cool. It brought the story to life.

And the ending. I like that you bring things full circle, from Lily's death to his own. It made things feel complete, but without the tied-in-a-perfect-bow feeling. You know what I mean? I hope so. I kind of wanted a bit more of Snape's life right before the end, though. Not too much, but just enough that I could feel more connected to him so that the reminder of his death would've had more impact. But again, I don't prefer Snape in the first place. So maybe I'm asking you to do the impossible!

Either way, I liked this. :) Well done!

Gina

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Review #2, by Unwritten CurseLearn To Love Again: Stale Firewhiskey And Vomit

4th June 2015:
Hi Kaitlin!

I thought I'd check out this story because it's a Dramione AND a Ronmione… and those are (ironically) my two favorite pairings.

I really, really like this idea. I'm already excited for you to update. Draco Malfoy in rehab! Oh, the possibilities are endless! I can't wait to see this Slytherin bad boy brought down a few pegs by some strong-willed drug counsellors. I'm sure it will be equal parts funny and endearing and that I'll fall in love with Draco all over again. ♥

The way he acts in this first chapter… Oh how I love it! He's 100% the "my father will hear about this" spoiled brat like in the books. This is the Draco Malfoy we know (and, if you're me, love) and I cannot wait to see how he's stretched throughout the course of this story.

One thing I will say, and you can take this or leave it, is that I thought the introductory bit could've been shorter. Where he's drinking coffee and ordering breakfast from his House Elf. It felt a bit expository. As soon as he got to the article, I was completely engrossed--maybe you could introduce that almost immediately? Just a thought.

Ultimately this chapter really grabbed my attention and I'm excited to see where you go from here! How will Hermione come into the story? Will she be with Ron and then end up with Draco? (I hope so!) Oh my gosh, will Hermione be one of the counsellors? I have to know!

Great work again! Can you lend me your Muse? ;)

Gina

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Review #3, by Unwritten CurseBreathe: vii. Acceptance

29th May 2015:
YOU NEED TO POST THE NEXT CHAPTER NOW.

(I thought about ending the review there, but that wouldn't be fair to you. So now for more gushing.)

I love this. Again, it's the little details. It's Mrs. Potter walking with Sirius and tucking the flower behind his ear. It's Sirius working in the garden and… just everything.

Can I say that I'm SO nervous for Sirius to wear that skirt to the wedding. I'm so nervous he's going to be mocked. I don't think he can handle that right now. He's still healing. I just… I hope people are nice to him. I hope they ask him questions rather than just assuming things or avoiding him. I'm so glad he has James because I know James will keep him safe. But I still worry.

On the other hand, I'm so proud of him. And James. And the Potters. There are good people in this world. (And yes, this is fiction, but it feels so REAL.)

YOU NEED TO POST THE NEXT CHAPTER LIKE YESTERDAY.

-- Gina

P.S. I've enjoyed this review swap so much. The fates aligned when I got paired with the genius that is YOU. :)

Author's Response: Hehe, I actually just submitted chapter 8 to the queue about half an hour ago! So it will be up really soon!

Aw, it made me smile seeing your concern for Sirius. I hope you'll be pleased with how the next chapter turns out for him!

Honestly, he's my character (well, he's J.K. Rowling's, but you know what I mean) and I'm proud of him too. :')

Again, I'm so sorry that I haven't gotten around to reviewing more of your story yet D: I really am planning to review all the chapters before the deadline, I'm so excited!

-Kayla


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Review #4, by Unwritten CurseBreathe: vi. Awakening

29th May 2015:
Yeah, I really love the cultural/religious details you've thrown in. The fact that they are wizards yet practice puja--awesome. I love seeing the worlds collide. It adds so much to this story.

I'm beginning to sense that Sirius is dealing with more than just sexuality. I sensed it as soon as James made his hair grow out, and now it's more explicit with him wondering what the skirts would feel like. It seems he's questioning his gender identity now. This is really interesting--I've never read Sirius like this and it makes his character so… sad, in a way? Not only is he trying to escape the Pureblood world/judgment, but he's also dealing with sexuality/gender identity issues that cast him as an "other," an "outsider." You explore these issues so tastefully and I'm glad to be reading this story not only because it's beautiful but because it's teaching me something about a community I know little about. So thank you for that.

-- Gina

Author's Response: I consulted a couple of Indian friends in writing this story and all of them told me that magic and wizardry would probably be viewed very differently in India. From my research it also seems like magic is sort of a normal part of Hinduism? I'm not really clear on this enough to speak confidently on it, but it made sense to me that the Potters would practice magic and also practice Hinduism.

You're definitely right about Sirius and I think you'll find it clearer and clearer as the story progresses. I'm so glad that you feel like you're gaining something from reading this and that I'm being tasteful. I'm not trans so it was important to me to be cautious and respectful in writing this.

Thanks so much for all the amazing reviews omg!

-Kayla


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Review #5, by Unwritten CurseBreathe: v. Drowning

29th May 2015:
Yes. Yes yes yes to all of this chapter. It's beautiful and tastefully done. You made me care for Sirius in ways that most teenage-Sirius fics don't do. You've raised the stakes and made his running away *necessary*, not just a passing whim or an "end of the road" deal, but a *necessity*. Oh Sirius.

JAMES. I have to be honest--I usually don't like teenage James. He's kind of a prideful jerk. But seeing him in this light--as a friend rather than showing off for Lily or on the Quidditch pitch--makes me love him in new ways. He's so, so sweet. And also, I really like the way that you describe the Potter's house. I can see the influence from their travels and it feels so homey and warm. And knowing that the Potters are older parents makes it just… I dunno, all the details just fit.

Yes.

-- Gina

Author's Response: I'm so glad that you thought this chapter was done tastefully. I was really worried that it was over the top, so that's a huge relief to hear.

I really think teenage James wasn't that big of a jerk, honestly. I feel like he was a pretty average teenage boy in that regard, maybe slightly more of a jerk because of the whole Quidditch thing. That's just me though.

The description of the Potters house was something that it was really important for me to get right because I wanted their culture and heritage to come through for readers, but I also wanted to write them the same way I would write any other small, loving family. So the house was the best way for me to get it across, I thought.

Thanks for the review!

-Kayla


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Review #6, by Unwritten CurseBreathe: iv. Mistake

29th May 2015:
Hi. I'm back. Are you surprised? You shouldn't be. :P

You write characters so realistically. Even though this Frederic character is unfamiliar to me (is he an OC or a minor character?), I feel like I know him now. Like he's familiar already. I loved his reaction when he thought he'd mistaken Sirius for being gay, how he got all nervous and stuttery. Love.

As to your question in your author's note, I do have to say that I think the ending is a bit rushed. What felt rushed wasn't Regulus catching them, it was when Sirius went from not being sure if he wanted to kiss Frederic because he didn't want to confirm he was gay to "he was Sirius -- Black" and "why the hell not?" Felt sudden and out of character for the Sirius you'd already established. I think it would've been more realistic if Frederic was more pushy and Sirius gave in, but of course the characters are yours and so the decisions are ultimately yours. I still loved this chapter and I still love your characters.

Yeah.

I can't stop reading.

-- Gina

Author's Response: Hey Gina!

Frederic is an OC. A lot of people have been saying that they like him, but I'm personally not a fan at all. He's pretty open to interpretation though.

I agree that that scene is a bit rushed and out of character. I'll go back and fix it up when I get a chance.

Thanks for the review!

-Kayla


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Review #7, by Unwritten CurseBreathe: iii. Trapped

29th May 2015:
Yes, I KNEW I'd read some of this story before. I'm about 99% positive that I validated this chapter when it was in the queue and I remember it vividly because it was one of the few stories I actually read for plot rather than just reading through vaguely to make sure all was well rule-wise.

I love so many things about this chapter. First is that Sirius is trying his very hardest to be good, and it's almost killing him, but he's trying and that makes me so sad and happy and all the other feels. Also, REGULUS. I adore Regulus. And I'm convinced that he loved Sirius even though they were torn apart by ideologies and the war and everything else. And that last bit of the chapter… AH! Perfect. That's exactly how I picture them--loving each other, caring for each other, but unable to say so. And James! He's being such a good friend. I love their friendship.

Next chapter, please!

-- Gina

Author's Response: Hehe, you're right! I went and checked my inbox. You validated this chapter and chapter 5 as well.

I'm so flattered by how much you're enjoying this! As a validator you must read so many stories and that this one caught your interest has me floored!

I feel exactly the same way about Regulus and Sirius' relationship and it breaks my heart :( I want to write a fic centering around Regulus sometime.

Again, I'm so glad you're enjoying this. Thank you so much for your lovely comments!

-Kayla


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Review #8, by Unwritten CurseBreathe: ii. Bhaii

29th May 2015:
AH.

I love this. And I'm sorry for the review I'm about to leave because it won't be helpful or coherent. Seriously, this is the best fic I've read in a long time and I'm SO excited it's a long one so that I can keep reading as you update.

Sirius feels REAL. It's the little details like his hands shaking when he got the letter and getting the Hindi-English dictionary so that James didn't feel "convenient" and how James's sign off "brother" made him happier than he'd been in weeks. ASOINREOWIJFCNE. I'm dead.

This is beautiful. So beautiful. I'm reading the next chapter now. I can't stop.

-- Gina

Author's Response: Hey again, Gina! :D Sorry I haven't gotten to the next chapter of your fic yet. Real life has been crazy recently. I'll get to it ASAP, I'm really excited to keep reading!

I'm so glad that you like this and that Sirius' characterization works for you. He's my favourite character and I was so nervous that I would get him all wrong.

Thank you so much for your kind words! It really means a lot!

-Kayla


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Review #9, by Unwritten CurseBreathe: i. Consequence

23rd May 2015:
Howdy, partner!

First things first, I love this. I love this so much and I don't even know how to begin this review because I just love it and my thoughts aren't coherent. I LOVE THIS.

Even though this is a short prologue-of-sorts, I am already in love. I'm guessing what Sirius is hinting at is the whole run in with Snape and Remus's transformation. I don't think I've ever read a fic that relates directly to the aftermath of that event. And I love this.

I also love Sirius. I think he might be my favorite character in the series. So I'm glad that he's narrating this. He feels exactly like the Sirius I know and love, and I especially like his self-consciousness while writing to James. It shows how good of a friend he is, and how real he is, and how lonely he is, and everything good about him, really. ♥

AND OMG THE LAST BIT. I adore the big paragraph that starts with "He lay awake in bed" and the long sentence that explores the different reactions Sirius received and how disappointment was "sharp" in Dumbledore's voice and the addition of "Sirius, how could you" and at the end, the "oh, Merlin, Remus" and *sigh* I have all the feels in my stomach right now, I'm literally giddy.

I can't even. How are you doing this to me with ONE CHAPTER? One 800-word chapter?!

I need to go cry now. This is perfection.

I'll be back.

-- Gina

Author's Response: Hey Gina! This review is awesome - thank you so much!

I am SO glad that you like this so much! I'm especially happy that Sirius is one of your favourite characters and you think that he's done well here. That really means a lot.

I don't even know how to respond to this! It's just so nice! Thank you so much, Gina!

-Kayla


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Review #10, by Unwritten CurseThe Orchard: Ancients

19th May 2015:
Hi again! I'm back for your third review. Sorry it took so long.

First, I have to get something off my chest… OMG REGULUS BLACK I LOVE HIM GAH. Okay, now I'm done.

But really, I adore Regulus Black. He's such an under appreciated character. So even though he's kind of being a jerk in this chapter, I still loved seeing him and knowing that he's part of the plot in some small (maybe big?) way. I'm really curious what the Slytherin boys are alluded to that happened in Mary's past. I hope I didn't miss anything, but I'm assuming you're leaving breadcrumbs and we'll find out in a later chapter.

You keep drawing me in with the Laura plot line! Why did she approach Mary? What was she going to say? And why is she in Ancient Runes when she isn't usually? I'd say you're doing a great job at sustaining the intrigue/tension. I'm certainly intrigued!

And Mary. Mary is the type of person I wish I was, but at the same time I'm grateful I'm not. Does that make sense? She's so organized and studious and she's a great friend and the "mom" of the group--all good qualities that will take her far in life. But at the same time, keeping everything together all the time is HARD. She's bound to explode one of these days, and I wouldn't want to be her (or be around her) when she does. She's kind of like Hermione in that way.

Anyway, I've really enjoyed reading these three chapters. If you'd like to continue this exchange and read/review three more chapters, just let me know on the forums. (Although I think you were asking to just read three chapters and leave a review at the end… Oops!)

-- Gina

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Review #11, by Unwritten CurseThe Orchard: These Walls

11th May 2015:
Oh, how eerie! I really like this plot line with Laura. It's so sad, but so realistic… to be affected by war in this way… it's just… *sigh* I don't know how you do it, but you create this tone that's spot on. I think it has to do with the details you add in--just simple ones, like the candles and the birds and Mary reading a book at dawn. I need to do more of that in my own writing, because those little details have really brought your story to life. I admire that.

OMG James. Sometimes I hate him and sometimes I love him, and this is one of the times that I love him. How precious that he and Mary were childhood friends. I love that they can now chat about things as serious as war, but in a roundabout way--through talking about Wilkes, who has changed. Again, such a *normal* thing--friends drifting apart--yet within the context of war it's haunting.

Also, part of me hopes there's some Mary/James action about to happen. But at the same time I don't, because of Lily. I ship Jily always. It's not my OTP or anything, but… I hate seeing them apart. But since they don't get together until, what, seventh year (?) then I suppose I'd be okay with some Mary/James action. Yeah.

And as to your questions at the end--I still hate Florence. Why are they friends with her? WHY? I just don't get it.

- Gina

Author's Response: I hope I can continue that plot with Laura and not mess it up. I find that carrying a plot forwards I have trouble with. Or feel like I have trouble with doing so because I meander my way through a story writing those descriptions and tone into it that I think makes a story move a bit slower.

James is fun. I think it's interesting writing him from Mary's POV because we see another side of him we don't if this was in his POV or Lily's. We just see the side of their friendship and how they interact with one another. It also helps that they've just known each other so long that they are incredible comfortable with one another, even if they don't hang out all the time anymore. It's a bond that won't disappear. Furthermore, we see, perhaps, the softer side of James. He's still a bit of an arrogant toad and prankster, but people act differently or show different sides when they are with certain people. We see him this way with Mary. I have no comment on Mary/James :) That would be an interesting thought.

Thanks for the review! I hope you warm up to Florence, but it's okay if you don't. She can be really terrible. It's always good to know I can write a character realistically that people hate, so I can take that away from this :) Thanks for stopping by!


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Review #12, by Unwritten CurseThe Orchard: Welcome

11th May 2015:
Hi there! Here for our Swap. :)

I'm not sure where to start, so I'll just ramble off the things that I liked:

- The bit at the beginning about Hogwarts having lost its "magic" for Mary. That felt so real to me, yet I'd never considered it before--that students began to feel the drudgery of school and forgot about the excitement of their earlier years.

- When Florence threw the nail polish out the window. I died.

- The small details, like the Slytherin boys swishing their robes at her, and the gold and red sparks coming from a compartment on the train, and the fact that the girls were painting their nails on the train. It's such a *normal* thing to do. It made the characters feel real.

I'm quite curious where Laura was and why Lily was so concerned. Did something happen? Or was it just the reflection of their paranoia, what with being on the bring of war (at least I think so--is my timing right?).

I do have one question for you. And maybe you answer this later. But I'm really curious why Mary and Mafalda are friends with Florence. She's AWFUL. Like, a serious downer and a cynic and sometimes downright MEAN. She doesn't seem like any fun to be around, so I'm wondering if she's just an old friend they've hung on to or if there's some reason I'm not seeing why they're friends with her.

Anyway, I'm off to the next chapter. Enough of my rambling! :P

- Gina

Author's Response: Hi Gina,

Thanks for reading this story! I can imagine it happening to some students. Perhaps earlier for students who'd grown up with magic who weren't so enthralled with it. It was a normal part of their life so school was just an extension of that. Muggleborns may never because it's something that's so new and so different from their everyday experience. They knew what it was like without magic.

I wanted to focus on the normality of the scene. How they were just girls getting ready for another school year. Their world couldn't be filled with just odd or strange happenings. Some of it is just sitting around petting a cat or doing your nails.

I think it was a mixture of Lily being Lily (at least the Lily in my story) where she's paranoid and obsessive about certain things. She doesn't like not knowing something. Also, I think any strange happenings would, at this point, contribute to the fear of the war that was happening.

Florence. I love her. Not in the you're a good person sort of way, but the fact that she is fun to write. She IS awful sometimes. She... there's a lot of words I could use for her, but she's interesting to put into the story. I'm sure that probably says something about me, but I do enjoy her. I think you'll warm up to her as the chapters go on. She isn't always awful. Their friendship is also explained more as the chapters go on. It's probably a mixture of her being their friend since first year and so now it just sort of 'is' and the fact that there are good things about her past her cynical and mean personality that make her 'good'.

Thanks for your review!!


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Review #13, by Unwritten CurseAtonement Is Coming: The Dungeon

7th May 2015:
Gah! They better not kill Kingsley. Or McGonagall. What the heck?!

McGonagall's a smart witch. If she has a strategy in place, I'm less worried. I feel like she'll pull of something miraculous, especially since her captors are so freaked out about wandless magic. That's got to be foreshadowing of some kind. *crosses fingers*

Now I'm going to be impatient until you update! I'm curious what the trio are going to do when they're pulled into this mess, and what the bad people want from McGonagall. Are why they went bad in the first place, considering they were good at Hogwarts.

Anyway, I'm glad that I joined this Red vs. Gold Battle and that I got the opportunity to read your stuff. Now I have a new WIP to look out for. ;)

- Gina

Author's Response: Hi Gina!

I can assure you that they don't have any intention of killing McGonagall or Kingsley. At least, not for now. :D

McGonagall is definitely a smart witch. I think this scenario will really put that intelligence to the test. Is it foreshadowing though? Or just a Red Herring?

I'm hoping to update this really soon. I have the next two chapters written. I'm just waiting for another story to clear and then I'll be submitting chapter 4!

I really hope you'll get a chance to check this out in the future...although I should warn you that I'm painfully slow with updates on WIP's for some reason. I did enroll in the Complete That Story Part 2 Challenge with this story, so the goal is to finish it by September!

~Kaitlin


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Review #14, by Unwritten CurseAtonement Is Coming: A Surprise Announcement

7th May 2015:
Hi Kaitlin! I'm back again for more. :)

I LOVE THIS CHAPTER. It's so sweet. I especially appreciated Harry's musings about how the night would've gone had the war never happening--everyone gathering around, joking, telling stories. Ah. How I wish that could happen.

Totally random comment, but I loved it when the ladies were joking around about pregnancy--how they were bumping into things and couldn't see their feet, etc. It was precious. And it felt very real to me. I can imagine when you're that pregnant, it's all you think about!

Oh, and I adored the part where Harry echoes Dumbledore by saying he'd trust Hagrid with his life, and then Hagrid bursting into tears when he found out he was godfather. Seriously, this whole chapter was so very sweet without being over-the-top. Really, really well done.

- Gina

Author's Response: Hi Gina!

I'm so happy that you love this chapter. It was honestly a really hard one for me to write. It was tough balancing all of the different characters in it.

I've never actually been pregnant myself, but I have lots of friends who have and this is pretty much what it's like when they all got together.

I felt like that little section with Harry mimicking Dumbledore was really important. I think Hagrid is one of those people who is 100% loyal and I think it's nice to think he was rewarded for that. I know that being a Godfather would be very important to him.

Thank you so much for all of your lovely comments on my stories!

~Kaitlin


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Review #15, by Unwritten CurseFalling Out: Not About Love

5th May 2015:
Hi again! I had to read something else of yours because I loved the first piece so much. And I think I love this one even more, if that's possible.

I haven't read many songfics because I often think that the song is irrelevant or sometimes it takes away from the plot--like, the plot couldn't exist without the song, which isn't a good thing in my opinion. BUT yours is SO well done. The story could exist without the song--it stands on its own. But the song supports it beautifully, so beautifully that I can't imagine them apart.

I was a little bit worried when I saw this was a Rose/Draco, but you handled the age difference tastefully. I love the bits of conversation you threw in, and the detail about their faces at the end--Rose's being fierce and Draco's being weary--was so well done. It all felt very real to me.

Oh man. You've made a fan of me, that's for sure.

- Gina

Author's Response: Hello!
Oh yes, I wasn't going to be CASUAL about that age difference ;) This is no fluffy pairing to be shipped, more to shake one's head over and go "oh boy, what a mess."

I know what you mean about songfics, and I definitely didn't want these lyrics to just sort of sit on top and enhance the story. In my first draft I actually had them all woven into the story itself, but then realized that was against TOS. It worked because the song is itself a bit of a story, but vague enough that I could create my own specific scenes to draw it out.

Thank you so much for the review! If you ever want to long-term swap something, let me know!

xoxo
Roisin


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Review #16, by Unwritten CurseWolf Like Me: O here comes that moon

5th May 2015:
OMG. This is beautiful.

Favorite lines:
- "Mooney, the monster in the Man Suit"
- "We are young men made monsters, feeding on our fevers"

Bah. Seriously. This is incredible. It's lyrical, visceral, and sort of heartbreaking. You explore what it's like to be a werewolf at the same time as what it's like to be in love, what it's like to want. And every word matters. That you managed to create such a vivid story in 500 words is incredible. Now I sound like a broken record, but I mean it.

Really well done. If I have time today, I'm going to have to come back and find something else of yours to read.

- Gina

Author's Response: Hello and thank you so much! I'm like SO STOKED on your writing rn so it means a lot that you liked this piece!

Remus always seemed to sort of despise his lycanthropy, and was always so mannered and cautious, and I had a weird amount of fun writing him in wolf form and seeing a more animalistic side of him.

Thank you again so much for this review!

(PS: I forgot to mention, but I hope you do add another chapter to your Hermione/Krum story--I was SO into it! I actually requested a really similarly toned story from Teh Tarik recently because that's EXACTLY the kind of thing I want to read more of)


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Review #17, by Unwritten CurseAtonement Is Coming: A Shadowy Threat

5th May 2015:
Hi! I'm back! And this chapter has totally lived up to my expectations. :)

What intrigued me the most about this chapter is that the "bad guys" aren't bad. Penelope, Michael, Roger… these are the people that were on Harry's side in the war. These are the GOOD guys. I'm wondering what happened to make them target purebloods and what their intentions are. To kill them? I hope not.

Once again, the writing is clean and easy to follow. There were a few moments when I felt like I was reading JK Rowling--the styles are very similar, which was a treat.

Well, on to the next chapter!

- Gina

Author's Response: Hi Gina!

I'm so happy that you chose to read this story. It's really my baby of sorts, so I love to hear people's thoughts on it.

The bad guys in this story definitely were not the bad guys in the series, but I promise that there is a realistic reason for how they got to be where they are now. It will get revealed piece by piece as the story continues.

Wow! That is an extraordinary compliment. I'm really flattered that you think I sound like JKP in parts. I don't even know how to respond other than Thank you.

I hope you like the next chapter just as much!

~Kaitlin


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Review #18, by Unwritten CurseSilent Rumors: The Warehouse

4th May 2015:
Dumbledore's Avengers? What? Oh am I intrigued! Now I suppose I'll have to read your novel. I'll put in on my list. :)

Obviously I have a million questions but I'm going to focus this review on your writing, mostly because I want to compliment you on a well-written story. The writing is so clean and natural. I was never pulled out of the story over awkward or confusing syntax. And the tone was strangely melancholy without being over the top. I'm not sure how you managed that--it's such a delicate balance--but you did it beautifully. I bow to you!

Oh, also, your dialogue. The bit where Lydia asked Ernie about the warning note and instead of answering her, he spoke to their kidnapper--that felt SO real to me. My reaction as a writer would've been for him to explain to his wife why he had ignored it, but you'd already done that in the narration, so that would've been redundant and it wouldn't have moved the scene forward. Your choice was spot on.

Great story. I think this prequel does exactly what it should, which is to inspire me to read its sequel. This isn't the last you've seen of me!

- Gina

Author's Response: Hi Gina!

Sorry that it's taken me forever to respond.

Thank you so much for your kind comments about my writing style. To be honest, I usually say the story out loud and then write the words down as I go, so I'm always worried it won't sound literary enough, if you know what I mean. I'm happy that the tone came across so strongly.

It's a relief to hear that the dialogue worked well. Dialogue is always a tough part for me because I have a tendency to make it a little more formal than it needs to be at times.

If you get around to reading the novel, I hope you'll enjoy it, although I should warn you, I'm unfortunately a very slow updater. :(

~Kaitlin


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Review #19, by Unwritten CurseSilent Rumors: A Kidnapping

4th May 2015:
Oh no! Clearly it wasn't just a prank. Oh my.

I love how you were able to make me fall in love with his family in such a short time. You know exactly how to pull the heartstrings, which made their kidnapping (and Ernie's, in turn) so, so sad. The part in the note about his wife's brown eyes… eerie.

I also loved the end of this chapter--that Ernie prayed. What a sweet gesture, one that I often don't see in HP fan fiction. It seems that magic trumps religion, but I don't think that has to be the case, so it was a nice moment of characterization when Ernie thought to say a prayer.

I'm just rambling now. I'll continue on to the next chapter. :)

- Gina

Author's Response: Hi Gina!

It definitely was not a prank! Too bad Ernie didn't take it more seriously. :(

Ernie is one of my favorite characters to play with, but this was my first time really attempting to write his family.

I'm glad that you noticed Ernie's gesture at the end. I'm not a particularly religious person myself, but I've never understood why there is no religious representation within fanfic. I mean the Muggle world is diverse, so it would be only fitting for the magic world to be so as well.

Anyways, I'm glad that you're enjoying the story so far. Thank you for the lovely reviews!

~Kaitlin


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Review #20, by Unwritten CurseSilent Rumors: A Letter

4th May 2015:
Hi TreacleTart!

I am always attracted to stories about minor characters. There's so much untold that NEEDS to be told! Anyway…

I love what you've done with Ernie here. He seems to be the hard-working family man, owning a business, yet making sure his wife and children are well taken care of. There's also a sadness about him that I can't quite put my finger on--even before the mysterious letter appears. The way you wrote his reaction to the letter was spot on, by the way. That his mind first went to Dumbledore's Army and then Death Eaters. Part of me hopes the "revenge" is petty--like a rival potions shop or something rather than a threat on his wellbeing/life.

I'm going to continue on to the next chapter now. I'm intrigued. Well done!

Gina/UC

Author's Response: Hi Gina!

Minor characters are some of my favorites to write.

I'm glad that you like how I've characterized Ernie. I just sort of wanted him to be a normal, happy family man. There definitely is just the slightest hint of sadness. I mean he did survive a war after all, but I think overall he's doing well.

The DA seal on the letter definitely threw Ernie through a loop. I wish it could be a petty revenge too, but alas, poor Ernie.

Thanks for reading and reviewing. I hope you like the upcoming chapters!

~Kaitlin


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Review #21, by Unwritten CurseOf Final Thoughts: How to Say Goodbye

24th May 2014:
Hello! I saw that you had entered the Second Person POV challenge and just had to read your entry!

Sorry in advance if this review is incoherent. That ending really got to me, so I'm having a bit of trouble formulating words...

You took such a creative angle to this challenge. Using second person and first person made this piece so chilling. I don't know much about Dearborn as a character, but I found myself feeling genuine pity for him--that he's speaking to Moody as he's dying is so… I can't find the word for it. It shows how desperately he seeks Moody's approval/looks up to Moody, and also how desperate he is not to die, that he's speaking to a man who's not even there. Just rambling until he can't ramble anymore. Ah.

As I said, it was the end that really stuck with me. The idea that Moody won't ever hear this story. He won't know for sure whether Dearborn died a coward or a hero. That is what is so chilling. The notion of an untold story, of the unknown--you made that so real.

Such a beautiful piece. Good luck to you as well and thank you so much for doing this review swap with me!

-- Gina

Author's Response: Hey there!

I really didn't spend much time on Caradoc's character, especially right off the bat, but I kind of wanted to make him feel like the reader should already know him (if that makes sense). Since you were able to make a connection with him, feeling pity towards him, I suppose it was a mildly effective method.

"Rambling until he can't ramble anymore" is exactly what I was going for. It was meant to be some sort of goodbye to Moody in combination with dwelling on what could have been.

Thanks so much for the lovely review, and for the swap!

-Rumpel


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Review #22, by Unwritten CurseLove in Three Acts: Act 1: Friendship

24th May 2014:
Rose! Thanks for doing a review swap with me. :) I saw this story and simply couldn't resist!

I have nothing but good things to say about this first chapter. I adored the introductory paragraph--you are such a pro at setting the scene and then diving into action, all within the span of one paragraph. It's succinct and informative. And can I just say that Mrs. Potter is adorable.

I'm also a fan of Peter in this piece. I like that he's not the pity friend, but actually part of the group, and that you showcase his attraction to the "dark side" without going overboard. He's a character in his own right and that was great to see.

Now for the fun part: OMG REMUS AND SIRIUS ARE PERFECT. I LOVE the awkward friends-but-maybe-something-more that was happening throughout the chapter. The hand on the knee. The fear of sleeping in the same bed. Fighting together during the water fight. It made the kiss at the end feel like FINALLY.

Oh, I do have one question/suggestion: I had a bit of a hard time focusing at certain parts because the point of view seems to weave in and out of Sirius's thoughts and then Remus's and then a more general perspective. It wasn't a stumbling block or anything--the action is clear and the story progresses cleanly. I suppose I just wanted one perspective to cling to, or at least for their to be a distinct divide between one perspective and the next, just to tighten things up and clarify certain sections.

But seriously, I loved this. Your writing is so clear and you convey the story with such ease. I was hooked from the start.

xx Gina

Author's Response: Ah! Your review is just too nice. *hugs* The first paragraph was a moment of inspiration when I sat down to write it. Starting off with Mrs. P and her reaction to having that many boys around was a fun way for me to get into the action. I thought they needed a bit of context before going on random adventures together, lol.

I can't stand it when people leave out/muck-up Peter. He's never really a huge character when I write but I like to make sure he's there and an equal. I'm so happy you noticed that. :D

hehe, now to the yummy part. I was so worried that their tentative romance was awkward or too subtle (or not subtle enough). I've never written about people in the midst of becoming a couple - at least not like this.

I agree that the narrator is a bit random in this chapter. I meant it to be a bit more nuetral but spent more time in Remus' head then sporatically went to Sirius. :-/ I'll have to poke at this again sometime to see if I can straighten that out.

Thank you so much for such a delightful review!! i'm really glad you liked this!!

-Rose


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Review #23, by Unwritten CurseSeverus Snape - No Turning Back: Severus Snape - No Turning Back

29th April 2014:
Hi there! Time for my promised review on your entry.

First I have to say thank you for taking such a unique route with this challenge! I think yours is the only entry to explore a character's death from the perspective of another character. Kudos for that!

My favorite part of this piece was actually the bit where Snape discovered that Harry would die, too. Despite his hatred for James/his bitterness whenever he saw Harry, learning that Harry would die (even though he didn't, in the end) and feeling the sorrow he felt was so moving. I genuinely appreciated that part.

I also liked the part where he was pondering how he thought Dumbledore would always be able to escape. That he'd always find a way out. I thought so too, reading the series. He seemed invincible. So for Snape to be so surprised that Dumbledore could--and would--die was perfectly believable. I actually smiled at that part, because it made Snape seem childlike in his reverence toward Dumbledore. Good character development.

Anyway, thank you for entering this challenge. It was a joy to read your piece!

-- Gina

Author's Response: Thanks very much for such a kind review, and for sharing your thoughts about this piece. I really enjoyed reading them. I'm glad I don't have to judge the entries, because I've read and reviewed nearly all of them myself so far, and they're all so wonderfully creative.

Thanks for offering such a terrific challenge. I've never done a writing challenge before, but the minute I read yours, the idea for doing this moment for Snape jumped to mind and I started writing on the spot before I lost the inspiration. This isn't my usual writing style either. All my other stories are normal story plots with dialogue, so it was nice to deviate for a change, and have something in a different style to post on my author page. Thanks again, and have fun judging!


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Review #24, by Unwritten CurseInside: Inside

29th April 2014:
Hi there! I have finally got around to reading and reviewing all the entries! Woo!

First, I have to say that I'm so glad you chose Broderick Bode for this challenge. I wasn't familiar with his backstory so I looked it up and it's so fascinating (and heartbreaking). That he was finally starting to get better when he was killed by a "present" from Death Eaters. So sad.

I think you handled the situation very well. His frustration at feeling better yet being kept in the hospital, paired with his desperation to remember what happened was authentic and moving. I'm not sure what happens after a wizard recovers from the Imperius Curse, but this was a compelling interpretation.

Seriously, I just love minor characters. There is so much left open to explore. So thank you for going a lesser-known route. It made this piece all the richer. And thank you for entering the challenge. I genuinely enjoyed your entry!

-- Gina

Author's Response: Hi!

I like minor characters. A lot. Bode is not the most obscure I've done! I could tell he wasn't one of the really obscure ones when I found myself having to rethink bits of the story to fit canon :P (like he apparently believed he was a teapot)

By the way, he was actually recovering from being forced to touch the prophesy - not just from the Imperius Curse. And of course he felt better but he wasn't - he still had very little control over his body.

Really glad you enjoyed it - and if you love minor characters I have plenty! (Hey, I wrote 5 chapters on the first muggle-born minister for magic, who only appears on Pottermore!)

Thank you for the challenge - it was great fun to enter! (I did start this story straight away, then shelved it for a while until I could panic over the approaching deadline...)

- Leonore


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Review #25, by Unwritten CurseTime, Space, and Blunt Force Trauma: for old times' sake.

29th April 2014:
NICOLE. STOP IT. STOP BEING SO BRILLIANTLY TALENTED.

Just kidding. Don't stop. Because then I wouldn't have any more of your stories to read, and I would be quite empty if that were the case.

I came to review for my challenge and then forgot this was a challenge halfway through. The narrative swallowed me, as your writing tends to do. I'm afraid that this review is going to be another indecipherable squee. Please don't hate me.

Okay, so my favorite part of this story was the whole thing, but my favorite favorite part was actually when the Order was heading to help Harry and co. at the Ministry and Sirius was making giddy smalltalk while the others were essentially brushing him off. It's Sirius to a tee, because he's relieved to finally be out of his house/slightly mad for being turned prisoner again/anticipating the excitement of battle. I loved the complexity in that simple scene. It was magically done. That and the scene with the wine glasses and Kreacher. (I laughed aloud at the "Two hundred years later")

And your language. Oh, Nicole, your language. I would quote my favorite line, but, again, I'd be quoting the entire piece. Such creative turn of phrase. You make even the smallest, simplest moments into something memorable.

I ENVY YOU.

Oh, I can't end this review without asking you one question re: the ending. Was the "I am, I am, I am" a wave to Sylvia Plath? I read it as such and for that reason was in tears.

Thank you for entering this challenge.

xx Gina

Author's Response: OHMYGOSH GINA. WHAT IS THIS AMBUSH OF COMPLIMENTS!?!

♥ ♥

Eep, eep eep what do I /say/ to a review like this! THANK YOU. I could NEVER hate you, lovely. Your squees made me squee myself, and I'm honestly so pleased you enjoyed this! I've been wanting to write a fic on Sirius's death for a long time, and your challenge really helped kick-start my dormant plunny into life.

Oh, I'm glad you like those reckless Sirius scenes, where he seems unable to take things seriously (oh dear, excuse the pun!). Yeah, he is indeed relieved to be out of that suffocating house; I also like to think that he's lost touch with reality a little. Or that he's been so isolated that he's determined to throw himself out there completely, without a thought for the consequences. I do feel that, if he'd thought a lot more about Harry and what would happen to his godson if he, the godfather, died, he wouldn't be so reckless.

Aww, I love what you say about the simplest, smallest moments. ♥ I /love/ writing about the mundane things of life; I like to analyse them and observe them and possibly find special things in them, so your words are just such a massive compliment.

Yay, you're the only reviewer to think of Plath! I was definitely thinking of 'The Bell Jar' when choosing those words, but I was also thinking of Tobias Wolff's short story, 'Bullet in the Brain', which influenced this story. His story ends on a similar note, but his words are 'They is, they is, they is.' I can never hope to emulate either of these writers.

Thank YOU for setting this challenge and for reading and for reviewing and for being such a wonderful friend! ♥



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