Hello! Firstly, I'd like to apologize for not reviewing the last chapter. I did read and had every intention to comment, even wrote down a couple of things I wanted to mention (of course, at the moment I can't find the paper I wrote on in the nuclear bomb landing that is my desk *frustrated sigh*), but things have been a bit hectic lately. Final exams in college are starting in a week and a half and, yeah... I kind of forgot... :(
Anyway (you can tell I like to digress, can't you? ;p), back to the point...
I very much enjoyed Kerri's thoughts in this chapter. Also, I need to mention this as well, the progress of her emotions towards Remus was very evident in the last one and I love it how you already have her knowing she's in love with Remus, but making her realize it all over again in each chapter --- each time on a different level. Wonderfully done!
I am looking forward so much to the ball!! Such slow progressing of relationships are my favorite kind since I enjoy reading about the development of feelings and I find the dynamics prior to a relationship much more interesting than the one during the actual relationship. I am also aware it is not a very easy thing to write (since I bet you're eager to put Remus and Kerri together as soon as possible as much as us readers are eager to finally see it happening --- I know you've already written that part and I seriously can't wait until you get to it), but you really do it very good.
Also, I am absolutely impressed with your dialogs!! The three-way interaction between Kerri, Remus and Tonks was absolutely outstanding!
Once again, great job! :DAuthor's Response: Well, I have been very patient about pacing myself with this story. I know there won't be an actual wedding until between the 1995-1996 school years so I have plenty of time to develop things. On the other hand, I cheated a bit today. I was telling Morgana that I'm a little nervous about the love scene being posted soon ( just a small one) and she offered to look at it. Consequently I sent her the entire chapter containing the ball. So I guess I haven't been quite as patient as people think.
Bella Portia complimented me on my dialouge for this chapter too. Teachers have told me that I write good dialouge. Maybe it's because I do a lot of story planning in my head, imagining out conversations and things as I go through my day. I did that for years with this story before I actually started writing it. Some of the dialogue has just been written in my mind, waiting to be put on paper. I'm glad people seem to be enjoying it so much.
Good luck with all your exams. Report Review
First of all, I'd like to congratulate you on becoming a Trusted Author!! Good for you!! *and it means no more waiting for the newest chapter to be validated so good for me too... :P*
As for the chapter... beautiful!! I absolutely loved both Luna's and Rolf's thoughts on their surroundings, themselves and each other... Very well developed, very well written. Their interaction is so light and natural - they truly complement each other well. The scene with the unicorns was absolutely amazing! Let's face it, what can be more romantic than that? ;)
However, I'm confused over one thing... At the very beginning, you mentioned them leaving as Gustav exited his tent --- did he see them go? Will he try and get them in trouble? It might have been a product of my stressed mind, though, the heat here is practically unbearable...
Anyhow, wonderful chapter! I can't wait for more... ^^Author's Response: Thank you so much!
I'm so happy that their interaction was natural and light, because I really wanted it to preserve a slow pace, to be slumberous in a way and be some sort of... well, a winding road if you get what I mean.
Indeed, unicorns are really romantic and I hoped that the reader will think of it as that too.
Answering your question, well, yes, Gustav did see someone leaving but since he had already noticed that Rolf's bed was empty he assumed that it was only him. So he didn't actually see Luna...:) The heat? wow, you should know that in Romania is so hot as well...
Thank you so much!!!! Report Review
As always, I enjoyed this new chapter very much... The little hints in Kerri's letters to Charlie and Snape were very well placed (the portraits that, I believe, are of major relevance in the entire series, but people rarely pay much attention to them and I have a feeling that curse breaking isn't just mentioned as a side-note... ;)). Also, the story behind Kerri's dislike of Valentine's Day was very well explained both with her decision to stay alone due to her parentage and with the memory of Aedennan --- I can only imagine how hard his death will be on her. He was a good friend and her first crush after all. Once again, it is outstanding how you manage to set up a contrast between how he used to be and how he is now when possessed by Voldemort. The characterization you gave him is very believable and I already consider it practically cannon since JK gave us very little information on him.
Poor Remus. You write him very well... I can't wait for the birthday party the guys are throwing him! It is bound to end up interesting...
I am so rooting for Tonks and Basil!! ;) You know I'm generally a Remus/Tonks shipper, but I always enjoy a well written non-canon pairing. And the hint at the very beginning of the first chapter --- with the mistakes made in the files and records of the Lupin family as an "explanation" for JK's canon version of Tonks and Remus ending up together and having Teddy and all that --- brilliant!! Loogan and Lupin are indeed rather similar last names, it can get mixed up easily... ;)
Great job!Author's Response: That's one reason I wanted to make Kerri a friend of Quirrel's. We know so little about him. He had to have been a normal person at one time with family and friends that cared about him. The part where he dies has been written, and Kerri does take it pretty hard.
People keep telling me that I write Remus well...I don't think from first person though. The sequel has a couple of letters from him that I had a hard time doing. (The first chapter of the sequel has been posted in the thread for this chapter in my member forum over at elderlies. One of the letters is in there.)
Tonks and Basil will take a long time to set up, just like Remus and Kerri. I've discovered that I'm very good at pacing things. I want them to get together at the same time that Tonks and Remus would have. Report Review
Well, I don't thing there's much doubt regarding the girl... He must have called her "Luna" by accident... :p Poor boy is completley smitten...
I enjoyed this chapter very much. Luna is just so delightful! The impressions of her life in Hogwarts, memories and the analysis she makes on herself was so well written! But I think I'm falling in love with Rolf myself... You write him very well --- his feelings, thoughts, impressions...
I simply can't wait for the next chapter!!!Author's Response: Thank you so much for the review!
Well, yes, it's a bit obvious, but I really wanted all my reviewers and readers to get cookies:D Yes, he's really smitten with her, but can't really understand what's going on because he's never been in love with anyone before.
Thank you so much for liking Luna, she's always been a delightful creature and I really wanted people to see her, the way I do. Rolf, well, anyone could fall in love with him, in my opinion. Women fall in love with men that apparently are strong, but one the inside they're just fragile and look for someone to protect them. That's Rolf and I think that's what makes Luna fall in love with him in the end...:)
The queue is closed right now, but I promise you that as soon as it's open I'll send the sixth chaper to validation.
Hugs and many thanks Report Review
Finally another chapter!! The endless validation process was TORTURE!!
I absolutely have to mention how much I enjoyed this chapter!! It was so significant in so many ways... The meeting of Bethe and Rose and the revelation of the little misunderstanding about the love potion and the very symbol of the potion destroying practically every couple in this story. Also, your description of the people of Little Hangleton gossiping made me giggle --- it was so true to reality.
The parts resolving around Tom and Merope were really touching... I feel so sorry for Merope. It is just as Bethe warned her --- she actually started to believe Tom truly loves her, regardless of the potion... :(
I also wonder what will be of the locket, what will be its role? I also can't keep but think that if maybe Merope didn't feel as self-assured and kept the locket around her neck, maybe the story would have ended a bit differently --- I don't know, the locket somehow "helping" her keep Tom even without the potion? Or maybe its role is simply to make sure she gives birth to a healthy, non-inbred heir of Slytherin...?
The "wedding night" was so lovely and romantic and wonderfully subtly described I once again started to wish the story would end up differently... We both know it won't though... :((
And is Gretchen that maid old Mrs Riddle was constantly yelling at?? ^^
Great chapter... Quite possibly one of my favorites so far...
Love, RosieAuthor's Response: Hi Rosie :) I know, I was very excited about sending this chapter out into the world and the 11-day wait period was KILLING me. But it's finally here!
I like that you pointed out the significance of the love potion destroying love. Love is something that shouldn't and can't be messed with, and it will be a hard lesson for Merope to learn.
Glad you liked the gossiping :) I got a little real-life inspiration since I live in a small town and everyone knows about everyone else's business. *eyeroll* The locket is really significant and I think you've hit the nail on the head with your second guess. It has helped Merope and will keep helping her, but it's not doing it out of kindness.
Good memory!! Haha yeah Gretchen is the maid that Mrs. Riddle was always yelling at. I thought she would get sick of hearing her blah blah blah and just decide to run off and help out Tom and Merope.
I'm thrilled you liked the wedding night :) I wanted it to be romantic and really subtle ... an over-sexed scene wouldn't have really fit in with the tone of the story, I thought.
Thanks for your wonderful review Rosie :) I loved reading it!
I thoroughly enjoyed this chapter... It was so refreshing finally seeing Kerri have some fun! And the slight progress in her relationship with Remus is more visible in each chapter --- you wrote the dynamics of their relationship, the almost unconscious flirting masked by close friendship very, very well... Her "definition" of love in the beginning fits her character extremely well (at least that's how I imagine Kerri would think).
Even after 30 chapters, I am still completley amazed by your descriptions. Even though there were no landscapes this time, the way you wrote about the club the band was performing in, the reactions and appearances of all characters, it feels as if I was there myself --- I could see it that clearly.
I kind of have a feeling Streak might have a very crucial role in further novels --- he is very protective of Kerri.
Once again, great job!!Author's Response: Kerri finally got to have some fun but she felt guilty about it. She's way too critical of herself, but then Remus is the same way about himself too. As you've noticed, I'm pushing them closer and closer together with every chapter. The breaking point isn't too far off but you know things can't be easy even then.
For the descriptions, I write what I see in my mind. It's almost like being psychic because very little of it is consciously planned. It's like describing a movie playing in my head.
Streak is my favorite of the group. He's gotten protective of Kerri because he's so appreciative of the wand she bought him. He's not used to people, especially outsiders, doing nice things for him. Report Review
This chapter just proves my suspicion that Luna is exactly what Rolf needs --- someone who will see behind the name and accept him for who he is moslty because she always needed to be accepted for her unique self as well. They seem to fit each other perfectly, they can understand each other and I really, REALLY like the way you have Rolf in your story... And he is getting seriously drawn to her... ;) I loved their conversation and his contemplation of her.
Oh, I've been to Rome once... Fontana di Trevi is absolutley amazing. There's another story regarding that fountain --- whoever throws a coin in it is bound to return to Rome some day... :)
Great work! I can't wait for the next chapter!!Author's Response: Your suspicion has been correct! Indeed, Luna and Rolf complete each other, in my mind. She's brave and helps him to grow, while he teaches her how to love in a romantic way and so on... There will be so many lessons that each will learn throughout the story.
Rolf looks for a woman to understand him and Luna looks for that in a man, as well. So really, they have the same target...
Indeed, he's really drawn in by the aura of mystery around her. She's always doing something out of the ordinary like the scarf incident, the way she ties her hair with her wand, the radish earring, the way she leaves completely unexpected and the list could go on. And Luna finds herself drawn to the same things, his fluctuancy, his reckless behaviour that doesn't follow any pattern and so on. They both enjoy adventures and discovering things about each other might as well be the greatest adventure they'll ever undertake:D
I've never been to Rome, sadly, but I've heard so much about it that I couldn't help mentioning it in here and especially regarding the fountain issue. I'm glad you enjoyed their conversation as it's the center piece of this chapter.
The next chapter is currently in queue, just waiting to get validated.
Thanks again for the awesome reviews you've left so far. They've been wonderful! Report Review
Gustav is a bit of a show-off, isn't he? Another competitor for Luna's heart, maybe? ;)
A very nice insight in Rolf's thoughts and feelings following the little incident with the niffler. I liked that part very much.
Sorry this review isn't longer, but I'm really eager to read chapter four... ;)Author's Response: Yes, Gustav is definitely a show-off and the reason why I created him was because I wanted him to be in contrast with Rolf. Luna sees them as these two different guys, one is adventure and thrill and the other one is a balance. So she doesn't really has a hard time deciding which one but for her is essential to see that there are differences and big ones for that matter.
I'm glad you liked the insight I offered into Rolf's mind and particularly after the niffler incident. He really is confused about Luna and her capacities in that field and feels like there are people who could do much more better than he would.
Don't worry about the length of this review, I'm so glad that you're actually reading and enjoying this story. In fact, your reviews are one of the most delightful I've got so far.
Thank you! Report Review
Mmmm... The first thing I noticed --- your Rolf (on the chapter image) is dreamy... ;) Very dreamy...
The flashback to the death of Luna's mother was very touching. Again, it showed another side to her character and I very much enjoyed it.
Also, as a sort of funny side note, 'Goran' is a Slavic name quite common in my country... :D The mention of him made me smile.
Your descriptions are lovely. I like the detailed view on everything, although sometimes it kind of draws away from the plot and makes it a bit difficult to follow --- although I tend to do that as well... :/ But, it seems to me as if you're trying to look through Luna's eyes and such way of thinking and analyzing sort of fits to someone like her... :)
I wonder what Rolf will be like... Is he as interested in all kinds of crazy beasts as Luna is or is he just a flirty spoiled rich boy? I hope for the latter since it would make the dynamics between them much more interesting... ;)Author's Response: I wouldn't call Rolf exactly dreamy, rather contemplative of the world around him... he likes to analyze things, although one could easily label him - by merely looking at him - as a person who doesn't like to think that much and instead goes with the flow. As with everyone else, with Rolf first impressions are wrong.
I've been getting wonderful reviews concerning the death scene and that could only make me happy, as I've always seen it as an important stage in Luna's life. It's something that defines her...
Goran is actually the surname of one of my classrooms so I must admit that it is from there that I took the inspiration. Many of the house elves that will briefly appear in this fic have Slavic-inspired name. For example, one of the Scamanders' elf is called Igor.
I enjoy description very much and I'm glad that you picked up the thing with me 'looking' at the object through Luna's mind, because that's exactly how I built the story. Every detail, every description is something that Luna, or Rolf, sees and thinks she/he sees.
Rolf is definitely a young man who finds himself between two stages of his life and doesn't know whether to stay in the past or evolve to the future. He is precisely in that stage where he is afraid of growing up and maturing, and therefore he would rather stay as the spoiled grandson who enjoys going out with his friends more than working and helping his grandpa.
Thank you so much again, ButterflyRogue, another fantastic review to which I've replied with great pleasure. Report Review
As soon as I noticed the title of your story, it sparked a great interest since Luna is one of my favorite characters and I seldom get a chance to read a good Luna story. The summary was another thing that got me immensely interested since I've also been wondering of how Luna and Rolf got together --- regarding Luna's quite unique personality and all.
To cut to the point, the very beginning of the first chapter really got to me since I just graduated from high school last summer and I have to say you caught the nostalgia of that last day perfectly! It shed some light on how exactly was for Luna during her time in Hogwarts, on how she was so often avoided and laughed at, but also how she was accepted for who she was and gained a few real friends a million times more valuable than many false ones. It was told in a very Luna-like kind of way but also gave another dimension to the character --- showing a side of Luna that doesn't get shown often.
Also, you introduced a dimension of love as a source of comfort after the war and that's great since love and its importance is pretty much one of the main themes of all Harry Potter books.
"she was trying to get people into realizing that just because some things are not sustained by a proof, that doesn’t mean that they should be regarded as ludicrous." --- wonderfully said! This line pretty much summarizes Luna.
The reminiscences everyone had about their time in Hogwarts almost made me cry... Partially because I'm still not over Fred and partially because I remembered my time in high school and than reading DH as the final book of the series I grew up with reminded me of one part of my life closing, my childhood fading away and how scared of adulthood I was, I still am. You projected these feelings through this story wonderfully! Great job!
"The Thestrals were the living proof of their grief, of their incomplete heart and above all things of their unrelenting thankfulness to all those who had perished so bravely, fighting the experienced Death Eaters, in their quest for liberty… the liberty that they no longer enjoyed on earth, but the one they had granted to Harry and his friends.
“We’re always going to be friends, right?” Neville suddenly asked.
“Of course” Luna replied."
A very good way to conclude the chapter... Touching. A great story in all!!Author's Response: Ok, this is just an awesome review ButterflyRogue! You're really wonderful for having taken the time to read the story and leave such an indepth feedback. A simple thank you just won't do!
Luna is also my favourite female character(Sirius being the male character I most enjoy in the series) and I felt like there was a great need for people to know her story with Rolf, at least what I think that happened really.
I'm graduating this year, as well, so in a way I was able to rend a plausible side of their feelings because graduating and saying goodbye to the place where you've basically grew up does takes its toll on people and all the more, for Harry and the rest because they've lived really intense moments there, within the walls of Hogwarts. They learnt valuable lessons there and saying goodbye, I thought, was even more difficult than it will be for me, then it was for you or any other person in their shoes.
I always said that one of the major motifs of the series is love and its healing power and I stand by to it, even in this fic, because I believe truly that it was the only way that Luna and her friends managed to move on after all the deaths. I'm happy that I've managed to give people an insight in a side of Luna we've not seen during the books.
I think that line suits Luna well, it's basically the impression she left one after reading the books and I've merely expressed it in this fic. I'm glad that you think it's the right impression.
Fearing of growing up, of changing, of leaving childhood behind is one of the major themes of this fic, along with romance of course and discovery and I've wanted people to distinguish that even from early chapters because both Rolf and Luna actually start a quest for maturity and a better understanding of their own feelings.
Again, I am thrilled that you found the ending appropriate because I really wanted it to symbolize their passing into the real world. The journey to Hogwarts begins with the Thestrals and therefore should end with them.
Many thanks for the reviews and I can't wait to see what you think of the next chapters. Thanks! Report Review
:D :D :D Severus is absolutely amazing!! I can so see him writing that letter to Kerri, steam practically going out of his ears while that mop is outside his door...
Awww, Basil has a crush on Tonks! Are you planning to set her up with a werewolf after all? ;) He does have a similar last name as Remus...
Also, I'm not sure how relevant it is, but Kerri and Remus seem to have similar wands --- both unicorn core, both eleven and a half inches long. Is it just a cute coincidence or...?
I love the dose of humor in this story! Basil and the boys are hilarious! And the learning to do magic --- does it have to do something with them helping Kerri in the fight against Voldemort?
And some of the questions Kerri had about the werewolves kind of answered my own questions regarding them (since I'm planning a Remus story myself... :D). You gave a very insightful look inside the werewolf subculture.
Also, the moment Remus and Kerri shared was lovely... Touching...
Great chapter!! I didn't mind one bit that it was long... This is possibly one of my personal favorites! :)Author's Response: Well....I think that in the prologue it mentions that some of the identities of the werewolves got mixed up. "Loogan" and "Lupin" are very similar names so that would explain some discrepancies between the canon version and this version....
Kerri and Remus have similar wands to show their similarity to each other. Unicorns stand for purity and no matter how harshly Kerri judges herself, she's a very good person at heart, and so is Remus. I made their wands the same length to suggest equality between them in the strength of their magical ability and in other things as well.
You're the second person to have figured out what I'm grooming the boys to do. Remus and Snape both put their foot down to prevent Kerri from joining the Order of the Phoenix so essentially she'll get angry and start her own with Basil as her right hand man.
I was worried that some people might get bored with the question-answer session toward the end of the chapter. It was my attempt to solve some of the questions that you apparantly had too. I always wondered why the moon didn't effect Remus until after it came out behind the cloud, etc.
It's getting more obvious that Remus is as fond of Kerri as she is of him, but they're both still running in opposite directions. Nevertheless, there is a first kiss scene coming up several chapters down the line that I hope will be even more touching.
Thank you. This was one of my favorite chapters too....it seems like when you really enjoy writing a chapter, that's the one that your readers love reading too. Report Review
Wow!! This was amazing!! I absolutely enjoyed the conversation between Harry and Nyah. And Ginny finally realizing she's their daughter... Awww
And I suspect Draco's heart is not really in this whole kidnapping thing. You mentioned he had no choice and I'm really curious about his and Lucius' side of the story as well!! Why is Nyah so important? I can't wait to find out!
Once again, the writing is outstanding. The emotions drifting through this chapter were amazing!
Sorry, I'm not feeling really inspired at the moment so my review is a bit unimaginative, but I'll make sure to catch you somewhere at eHPf in case I remember something else. ;)
I absolutely can't wait to find out what happens! Hope there's another chapter soon!Author's Response:
Hello friend! :D
I'm so glad you enjoyed the chapter! :D Yes, Ginny's stubborn streak may have cost her far more than a few hours of time... it may have cost her Nyah!
You are very astute regarding Draco and his motivation in this. We'll hear his side of the story soon...
Thank you for the compliments. I'm so glad you enjoyed it! Feel free to post in the Story Club or in my forum or pm me! :D
Chapter 19 will hopefully be up soon! :) Thanks!!!
Oh, I loved this chapter very much. Kerri's inner struggle was very interesting to read!
Also, I'm starting to get interested in Yestin and his grudge towards Remus. Is it just because he had moved from the commune or is there something more to it? And what about Tonks? Is there a more important role for her in further chapters?
Once again, I have to mention how much I admire your way to describe the background events, introduce many different things that make the story more livid, like the part with Royal and what the ministry did. It also portrays the life of a group of people shunned by society and introduces another important theme aside from the obvious, love theme. I gives a lot of depth to the story and it is obvious everything is very well planned.
Very well done!!Author's Response: I'm ashamed to admit it but I'm not 100% sure yet where I'm going with Yestin. I'm not sure if he's just a jerk or if he's truly evil. On the surface he dislikes Remus because he knows Remus has tried to pass himself off as a normal person....beyond that...I'll just have to see how his character develops with time.
Tonks is Kerri's best friend and she'll be important throughout this story and all the sequels. I even have a husband picked out for her -- Teddy's father --- although Teddy obviously won't have the last name "Lupin" in my version.
Royal and Celestia are important characters too whose importance will grow with time. Unlike Yestin, I know exactly where I want to go with them.
Thanks so much for your review. Report Review
Wee, another chapter!!
I have to say I absolutely enjoyed Severus in this chapter!! He's been a very intriguing character for me ever since PoA and after DH I liked him more than ever, but you give such a good portrait of him that is seriously making him one of my most favorite characters! I already fear what will happen once I start with Renny's fic... I just might fall obsessively in love with him... :p
“If he makes unwanted advances, point your wand between his legs, say ‘sectumsempra’ and the problem will be cut off at the source.” --- eek! It's fun to imagine this with Lockhart, but I suspect Severus himself will be inclined to do it to Remus once he finds out... And since you've discovered the three would share a certain castle in your third novel, I can only say --- Poor Remus... However, as much as I sympathize, I can't wait for it at the same time!
Anyway, great chapter! It got me laughing at several places!
Sorry about the crappy review... Studying for a math exam has fried my brain for the time being... :(Author's Response: Your compliments are so flattering. I'm really thrilled that I'm having such an effect on your feelings about Snape. He was always one of my favorite charaters and I like having the chance to show people why.
I agree, poor Remus, he's the one that will be stuck in the middle. Kerri and Snape are a lot alike in some ways and it's really ugly when they start to argue. I'm like you...it's horrible, but I really look forward to that part because I think it will be highly entertaining.
Math --- yuck. I sympathize. When I was in sixth grade they put me all the way back to first grade math I was so horrible at it. Good luck. Report Review
Wow! So much action here!! You've developed Tom so well!! Poor Merope... Her meeting with the Riddles was nothing like she had hoped it would be...
I wonder, will we see more of Bethe? And will Merope stop giving Tom the potion because she hoped he had started to love her for real or simply because she had ran out of the one Bethe had given her?
I am so caught up with this!! I can't wait for the next chapter!!Author's Response: I know! lol The whole time I was writing this chapter, I kept thinking about Ben Stiller's movie "Meet the Parents" and I was really tempted to make some references to it (maybe have the grandmother's ashes be in an urn on the fireplace mantel ... LOL). But yeah, Merope's got her work cut out for her with in-laws like that. They're not too psyched about having their son marry a girl from the wrong side of the tracks.
You will see more of Bethe! I'm nearly finished writing Chapter 10 and she's gotten a pretty sizable chunk of it. And Merope will stop giving Tom the love potion eventually for a mixture of reasons - you hit the nail on the head for your first guess (fooled into believing his love is true). There's also a much bigger reason, mostly to do with something that she discovers later on...
Thank you my dear!! I appreciate all of your amazing reviews and I can't believe you read the story in pretty much one go! You're awesome. *hug* Report Review
I think this chapter is my favorite so far... Such deep development of characters!! And making Tom infatuated with Merope even before the potion gives more to the tragedy of the story. The events on the party seemed to flow with such ease... I really envy your skill to completley suck me inside the story and make me "see" everything that's going on...
So is this Bethe's role in everything? Making the love potion for Merope?
You really left me a bit at loss of words here... I'm not quite sure what more to say but that it was very, very good!! I'll cut the review short because I just can't wait to resume my reading!!Author's Response: I think this chapter is one of my personal favorites too, mostly because the love potion was one of the things I looked forward to writing the most. :) You're right, Tom's growing friendship with Merope certainly adds to the tragedy of the story - and if you think about it, it would make a lot more sense for him to be so angry when he discovers what she's been doing to him. It's a lot less hurtful when a stranger betrays you than when a person you considered a friend does it.
Making the potion was one of Bethe's roles, yes, but she was also the one who introduced the idea to Merope in the first place. She also gave Merope the friendship and the prophecy, two main points that propelled and encouraged Merope to pursue Tom more actively.
Thanks! :) Report Review
Very, very good with Bethe being a descendant of Cassandra Trelawney!! I would have never guessed it --- though you gave a clue with that letter, I thought the non-capitalized 'L' was just a typo... Looks like Bethe inherited more talent than poor Sybil, though... ;)
The story of her parents almost reminds a bit of James and Lilly... :D It leaves me curious for more, though... I sense Bethe's background will have some relevance to the unfolding of events around Tom and Merope. Will the two friends part once Bethe predicts the tragic end of Merope's love story?
I loved the role Tom had in Marvolo and Morfin's arrest and the yet another interaction between him and Merope. I also liked Tom's comparing of Merope and Cecilia. It had me wondering --- would he maybe fall in love with her eventually, without the help of the love potion? Would it make things end up differently? I am desperately trying to make excuses because I've really gotten so very fond of Merope... I know it isn't going to happen, but sometimes I just wish you'd go off canon and make a happy ending for her...
"the look they exchanged was like the ghost of a kiss, breathless in its nonexistence." --- this might just be my favorite line so far... Beautifully written, it perfectly sums up the entire relationship between Tom and Merope.Author's Response: Haha you guys are so sharp! Pretty much everyone has picked up on that capitalization error and called me out on it, which is fantastic. I think it's a wonderful compliment that you're all paying close attention to the story. One of the things I admire about JKR's writing is her attention to detail, and it's one of the skills that I strive for. The littlest details that she throws in randomly can become incredibly significant - I'm hoping that she comes out with a mystery story next because it's the hallmark of a fantastic suspense writer. But anyway, back on topic ... I've been experimenting with adding in these details here and there, and that "L" is one of them. Good eye!
And that's a great guess - Bethe's love for Merope combined with her prophetic ability will not come to a happy ending, especially when Merope's obsession gets the better of her. Nothing is going to end happily in this story, I'm afraid...
Haha sorry!! :( I won't be going off canon, but I think I can safely promise you (and the other lovely readers who are rooting for Tom and Merope) that you will like the two little epilogues that I have planned for the very end of this story. Merope's ending is not a happy one but I don't see why I can't end it on a somewhat good note...
Thanks for another terrific review!! :) Report Review
I love the insight of Tom in this chapter. You showed there's more to the stuck-up, rude and spoiled brat, to say so, and very nicely described how the rich aren't always the happiest ones either... I also liked the explanation on why was he always riding by the Gaunts house --- to show he was not intimidated by Marvolo. It seems as something someone like Tom would do... :)
I also liked his interaction with Merope. It seems as if she had sparked his interest by not hiding from him anymore. And the association to the Pleiades was very nice... I'm a myth addict myself so I always get all giddy at such associations... :)
The ball reminded me of something Jane Austen would write (I'm 'Pride and Prejudice' obsessed, just so you know... ^^) and it made me want to know more about Cecilia!! And John as well. You write all of your characters very well, practically painting a very vivid picture around Tom and Merope making everything very believable. It is so livid I can almost imagine myself being there!
And the song Morfin was singing --- cute... in a morbid, disgusting kind of way... :p I'm a disaster with writing poetry so I pretty much worship anyone who can. :D
The locket's foreshadowing gave a dose of mystery. I like the way you've amended it to the story.
Once again, excellent work!Author's Response: You've got it down exactly - the point of writing Tom Riddle Senior was to be able to show him as more than just the perfect, rich, good-looking guy that everyone wants to be with. He has his own share of problems as well, and he's not so perfect, but I really don't think that he was all that bad. Just my own personal interpretation of course, because he was rude and snobby and he did leave his pregnant wife in canon.
I'm obsessed with "Pride and Prejudice" too and I definitely wanted to give this story a little bit of that flavor (even though it's a completely different era) as a tribute to one of my favorite authors of all time. It just seemed natural for me to combine JKR and Jane Austen because they're two women that I admire so much and that I aspire to become. :)
I can clearly see the world around Tom and Merope in my head - the village, the people in it, the great house - and from there it's a cinch to get it all onto the computer. I think a key thing that helps me write is the planning ahead; I like to make a list of all the elements involved and build them up slowly around a central plot. It really helps me to feel like I'm in tune with the world that's created, and I'm so glad that you were able to get into it as well! :D
Hee hee ... Morfin is so batty. I had so much fun writing his poem, I might do another one eventually. ;) Report Review
The descriptions of Merope's fantasies are so beautiful... So real... The parallel with Romeo and Juliet was very well placed!
And it seems as if Merope just needed some encouragement!
Well done on Marvolo's narrow minded comments! He is really the way I have imagined him to be. You've made me feel the tiniest bit sorry for him... And you've also made me want to know more about Merope's parents!! Any chance for you to "explore" up the family tree some more? ;)
So, Bethe is a Seer? Interesting... She will be very relevant to the plot, I presume --- not only as Merope's encouragement and mentor. I know I've said this before, but you've given such depth to the events preceding Voldemort's birth! I can't wait to find out how is everything going to tie together in the end!Author's Response: Haha yes, Merope is very influenced by melodramatic romantic works like "Romeo and Juliet," whose theme of star-crossed lovers will be somewhat similar in Merope's own story.
I don't really feel bad for Morfin, but I guess it's not his fault he's crazy and narrow-minded. He has been raised that way, and the Gaunts have been intermarrying for generations, which keeps the insanity in the family.
Yes, I will be exploring the family tree a bit more, especially with regard to Merope's father and mother and their little backstory. It's actually going to have a ton of significance in the way that Merope's own story turns out.
And yep, you've guessed it - Bethe is very relevant and you'll see her importance as you go on.
I can't wait to find out how everything ties together too! I've got all the pieces, I just have to make them all end well together. :) Report Review
I have already fallen in love with Bethe!! She is amazing!
And also, your way of writing almost makes me think I'm in the 1920's myself. You've really captured that time period very good --- the manner of speaking, the customs of the people living in such a small place like Little Hangleton, absolutely everything.
It's very interesting that Merope has interest in herbs and making potions. Almost as if you're foreshadowing the known turn of events (which you probably are...) :)Author's Response: Hey! Thank you so much, I'm glad you like my OC :) I really enjoy writing this time period, although sometimes I think I might lapse into dialogue/manners that are too old-fashioned for the 20's, but I think it fits better in this setting. I picture Little Hangleton as a very quaint, old-fashioned place, although I'm not sure how accurate that is for the central Northern region of England at that time. I'm glad you liked it though! :) Report Review
I remember having this story bookmarked for months now, but never seeming to find enough time to start reading it. The story about Tom Riddle Sr. and Merope was always intriguing to me and after all of the great comments you've had in the past Story Club sparkled my interest even more so I was pretty much very anxious to start reading it... :)
Well, to get to the point, I really enjoyed the way you've started the first chapter --- all the way from the quote at the beginning which I found very fitting.
Poor Merope... The little sight of her we had in HBP showed how badly she was treated, but you gave more depth to that torture by showing the stark difference between her life and the life she had been daydreaming about. I wonder was such lack of love throughout her entire life the reason why she so desperately wished for a prince charming to save her from her father and brother? If things were a bit different, maybe she wouldn't have turned to such drastic methods...
I also like the way you showed the peculiar connection the locket had with her. As if it somehow knew she would be the mother of Voldemort and gave her strength because of that. I wonder will the locket have a role in her decision to give a love potion to Tom...
Excellent start! I'm eager to read more!!
~Rosie Nymphadora from eHPfAuthor's Response: Oh hi Rosie!! It's great to hear from you :) Yeah I've had a lot of really great support and encouragement on this story, and everyone's been really nice! I was very excited to be able to discuss it on Story Club and bounce ideas off of everyone.
It must have been a very bleak existence for Merope, sort of Cinderella-esque. I'm positive she did most of the cooking, cleaning, and taking care of her father and brother, who didn't treat her any better than the dirt beneath their shoes. I wanted to explore what a person subjected to that kind of treatment would be like; what they would think and feel, how they would act. In Merope's case, she has a desperation for love and escape that only Tom can really give her.
The locket, in my story at least, will be an extremely important element that offers guidance and companionship, yet it has its own sinister goals to accomplish. It will come out in time!
Thanks so much for your review Rosie :) Report Review
Great chapter!! Harry and Ginny's pain was almost tangible as was Nyah's! Oh, I really do hope Harry finds proof soon...
I must once again say that I admire your way with words and descriptions. The style of writing is absolutely outstanding! I especially enjoyed the part with Charlie --- he's one of the Weasleys that often gets left out of things... Something I also like in this story --- it develops human psyche and focuses a lot on the relations between people. I have always been very interested in psychology so it is always an interesting thing for me to read about...
I really don't have much more to say... Needless to mention I have been absolutely thrilled with this story so far! I do suspect some action in the next chapter regarding the 'figures' hiding there by the pond...
Hehe, now I can finally say that I can't wait for the next update!! :DAuthor's Response:
I'm really glad you liked it. It's one of my favorites...
Charlie was unexpected, but worked out very well. I've not researched him at all, although I don't know that there is much out there about his character. I wrote him very much like my own older brother (who happens to have bright red hair - but he doesn't take care of dragons!) lol
There will quite a bit about the people hiding in the trees... no worries. :)
You've been quite busy with reading and reviewing and must thank you! I appreciate every word... :)
Okay, this is a sort of a continuation of my review for the last chapter --- I just couldn't help myself, I re-read the dream sequence from the previous chapter... I think I managed to connect a few dots... It was pretty much like a light-bulb suddenly turning on in my head, actually... :D This entire time I thought Lucius and Draco have taken Nyah's hair for the potion, but was it in fact Ginny's hair, wasn't it? It confused me a bit... There was Ginny stirring and I thought they just didn't want to be seen getting away with the real 'Nina', but was the hair to make that 'woman' look like Ginny by drinking polyjuice potion? (I kind of have this weird idea Draco is actually the 'red-headed woman' and it makes me giggle like crazy...:D)
Going back to this chapter, I enjoyed the unraveling of the events around Nyah's heritage. You wrote the entire mystery and conspiracy around her very well --- keeping me at the edge of my seat from yearning to find out more! I'm just very curious of how Hermione is going to break the news to Harry and Ginny... Actually, getting back to the point of her parentage, I think the snowy owl gave you away from the start and had me suspecting from some second or third chapter Nyah was actually Harry's daughter. :D:D
And I have a question ready for the Story Club already. I'm just waiting to finish reading everything you have posted to gather more information... :DAuthor's Response:
I'm so excited about your review!!! You GOT IT!!! :D YEAH!!! You connected the dots and came up with the answers. I'll tell you... I was getting a little nervous when no one 'got it', so you're my new best friend! :D
The owl was placed deliberately, but no one mentioned it which was fine... just added to the feeling of "OH" when the 'light-bulb' comes on! :)
Oh good, a Story Club question!!! :D YEAH!
Love, love, love the review! :)
The memory was amazing!! Wonderfully written... And who is the red headed woman? Draco's wife?
I am now completely certain Nyah is Harry and Ginny's daughter. One question, though... Shouldn't have Hermione recognized her? I mean, she was the flower girl on her and Ron's wedding, wasn't she...?
Wonderful chapter... I feel sorry for Anna, though, turning out to be like her mother... :(Author's Response:
I'm glad you enjoyed the dream... I did too! :D
Again... the red-haired woman... all the clues are there, in the dream sequence. I think if you reread it, you might pick up the hints there. If not... let me know!
There's only one reason Hermione doesn't recognize Nyah as Harry and Ginny's daughter... Nina is dead... confused now?
Thanks again for the reviews! You've been very busy!!! :D
I have suspected it, but I wasn't sure... Draco was that taller Death Eater, wasn't he? The fat one --- Goyle or someone like that?
Ron is so adorable... I've always had a bit of a soft spot for him... The comparison with Ginny was amusing! :)
And Anna seems to have taken a bit after her mother... :(
It is so sad with Nyah... They have so little time to set things right!! :oAuthor's Response:
Hello again! :D
The Death Eaters... yes, Draco is the taller one, and the other is Nott (senior). They'll be back... all too soon!
I like Ron as well... he's pretty easy to write. I'm glad you liked it! :D
Yes, Anna has changed to align herself to her mother. Sad, yes... necessary, absolutely.
Again, thank you for taking time to leave really great reviews! Love em! :D
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