Reading Reviews From Member: marinahill
631 Reviews Found

Review #1, by marinahillBrain Activity: Suit Up

23rd February 2014:
I know I haven't read all of BA yet, but obviously I will do soon. This was an excellent reminder of why I need to catch up!

Things I loved:

1. Fire
2. Flamethrowers
3. Mystery suit man
4. Hermione - I know zombies was never really something we saw in HP in relation to Hermione, but she's still herself despite the fact she's in unfamiliar territory. It works when it shouldn't and until I read this I never believed it possible. It's one of those concepts that's like "that's cool" then it's written and it's lame but this is so COOL and I think that's because it's written by you, Queen of Cool. Also Queen of Hot because of all the fire.
5. Hugo - swooping in despite being a broom novice, saving the day. Loved it!

Things I am excited for:
1. More fire
2. More flamethrowers
3. Zombie Harry.

How on earth are you going to wrap this up, I wonder? I feel like it's so completely too epic to finish at all. I think it needs to end in fire though, that much is obvious.

KEEP UP THE AMAZING WORK. This story is so fabulously unique I don't know what to do with myself other than nag you to write more. WRITE MORE.


First of all, thank YOU for reviewing it because it made me so happy!! I'm glad you like the flames and the flame thrower and the guy in a suit, and don't you worry, there will always be more fire. Because I am uncreative so, you know, fire. and lots of it.

And I'm glad you like hermione! It's SO IMPORTANT for me to keep her in character despite all the things that are going on around her, so I really strive to do that. Anything out of character would make me a sad panda. so sad.

As for my ending um. Well you know that's still a work in progress but don't you worry. I'll figure something out. THANK YOU SO MUCH YOU ARE A STAR AND I LOVE YOU

 Report Review

Review #2, by marinahillQuelques ans aprs-A few years later: Visite inattendue

4th February 2014:
Hi, I'm here from the review tag.

A couple of things first. I noticed a couple of mistakes in your French so I hope you don't mind if I point that out. Your title - it should be "Quelques ann/ees plus tard". And your chapter title should probably be "un s/ejour inattendu".

(The "/e" indicates an 'e' with an accent, but the archive won't accept the special character.)

Now I'm not a Dramione shipper myself, but your chapter does raise many questions as an ideal starting chapter. You definitely leave me wondering what has happened in the years they've been away. Obviously something happened that meant they got married and had kids and only now are they ready to return. Kingsley's reaction mirrors my own somewhat - he's surprised that they're together and I am too with him. Hermione seems very protective of Malfoy though and I liked that - it's clear that she's expecting some negative reactions to their marriage. It was very realistic.

I perhaps would have liked to have seen some more description in this chapter, maybe a bit more about they characters' reactions to things, how they held themselves, perhaps a bit more about what they were thinking. You could also have slipped in a bit of background info, but you had just about the right balance of information in this first chapter to keep the reader interested. After all, it would not have been good to have an information overload so I think you got the balance right in that respect.

Nice first chapter :)


Author's Response: Hey,

I'd appreciate you correcting my French. I've only just started learning it and my teacher suggested I use it where ever I can. Hence the French! I'm going to correct it now that you've told me...

I probably will include their past in the story as flashbacks or as another story. We'll see.

I was aiming for realistic and I'm glad it came through.

I'm working on the description part. Lots of people and my beta have told me about it and I'm trying. Maybe I'll get better at it as I go on.

Thanks for reviewing and hoping you'll continue reading as I put up more chapters,


 Report Review

Review #3, by marinahillA Man's World: One

2nd February 2014:
YES! Love a bit of girl power! I can tell I'm going to love this already, but I knew that anyway seeing as this story is written by the epic pen that is yours.

1. Love the concept. Rival newspapers? I love it! Can't wait to see what underhand tactics they all get up to.

2. Love Andy. She's ahead of her time and isn't letting any old men step on her dreams of being a top journalist.

3. Keep writing. This is going to be fabulous.


Author's Response: I LOVE YA. That is all. Chutters shall continue writing this!!

 Report Review

Review #4, by marinahillLet Perpetual Light: A Funeral

23rd January 2014:
Here for our review swap :)

I cannot express enough how much I LOVE stories about the Dumbledores. I remember reading about their back stories in Deathly Hallows and I got a chill then and I was quite surprised to get a similar sort of chill just now.

The letter between Albus and Gellert - from a future time, if I'm correct? It's very telling about their relationship at that time, of things that are yet to come for Albus. Gellert, even then, shows this strong manipulative power over Albus. It's like he knows exactly what buttons to press and when. Interesting indeed.

The visit to Madam Bagshot was also very revealing. The way she describes Kendra... so true to her representation in the books. Of course she wouldn't have made friends if she wouldn't let anyone in. I imagine it makes it very difficult for both Albus and Aberforth to not really have anyone to really talk to about her.

Ariana seems incredibly powerful already. How simply she just decides to not take the medicine and that's that... Remarkable really. I already get a sense for this unpredictable and powerful young girl who hasn't quite grasped the reality of her surroundings and doesn't fully comprehend that her mother is gone.

I really love this, teh! An amazing first chapter with some truly remarkable characters.


Author's Response: Hiya Marina!

Gah, what an absolutely lovely review! Thank you! :D I love stories about the Dumbledores as well, and I'm blown away that my story affected you in such a way. I suppose I must be doing something right with this. :P

The letter is indeed from the future - many years after the events of the summer of 1899. I am beyond excited to explore the power dynamics between the two; Gellert is indeed rather bitter and manipulative in that letter. Ah well, he did just lose a major duel after all, and has been pretty much consigned to the prison of his own making for the rest of his life.

I loved scouring DH for little telling details about the Dumbledores and other characters surrounding them, and I love expanding on these tidbits of information even more! I'm glad you like the glimpses of Kendra! Sadly, she won't play too big a role in this story, seeing as she's already dead.

Thank you so so much for your fab review, Marina! This was absolutely lovely to receive !! ♥


 Report Review

Review #5, by marinahillChasing Charlie: Welcome to the Madhouse

22nd January 2014:
I LOVE LOVE LOVE the premise of this story, Shiloh! You've already introduced a great workplace dynamic and I'm sure we're going to be seeing much more of the handsome side of Charlie in the future.

I love that there are so few women in the department - not for the issue itself but because it sets up a challenge for Araminta straight away. Of course there are certain professions that both sexes shy away from so this is just one of them. It gives her something to strive for amongst the rest of the mad people they work with. And I got a great sense of the restlessness for this group of men who usually prefer to be out with their hands on fieldwork than back at the office doing their paperwork.

I can't wait to see where you go with this, it looks super interesting!


Author's Response: Marina! xx ♥

What a lovely review :)
I had SO much fun writing the dragons division. As Mrs. Rogers does, I refer to them as 'the boys'. They're ridiculous so of course I love them. And Araminta is fun to write as well. She's so disapproving of them and their antics. But secretly she adores them. Well... eventually!


 Report Review

Review #6, by marinahillJourney to the Centre of (Mollys) World in (Less than) 80 Days: King of Anything

16th January 2014:
I really love Molly's narrative voice in this. It's so snarky and sharp. I love the internal monologue that you write - it really brings life to her character and fleshes her out.

I like that this story doesn't start from a point of "oh no, my boyfriend broke up with me, my heart is breaking". She already knew that she didn't want to see him anymore and I like that about her. She's very sure of herself. Her parents' reaction to her news was very telling. Clearly she feels this pressure to provide them with the perfect daughter with the perfect life but she's not living up to it. Poor thing. Loved the analogy with the lamb chop, too. So funny!

A very good opening chapter! It's always nice to be thrown right in there and this chapter certainly does that. Well done!


Author's Response: Thank you! I've never written an extended piece in third person, so the inner monologue proved to be a bit of a challenge.

Molly is very sure of herself, but at the same time, she isn't either. That makes her a fun character to play with. And I wanted to write about a relationship that was already done - people move on all the time. Expectations from family can feel suffocating at times. She's just trying to figure out a way to get through it all.

Thanks so much for this lovely review!

 Report Review

Review #7, by marinahillDetox: Sobering Up

31st December 2013:
Wow, poor Draco. It's definitely realistic to depict him as this fallen and broken man after the war. You portray his inner conflict perfectly - on the one hand, he knows he can't stay this way forever, but what's the alternative - shame and judgement from his peers? He can't change what he did, but just as he concludes at the end there, he can change what he will do.

I want to just mention your description. It was so superb! It was very careful and deliberate in delivery and it felt like you had control of the perfect balance between Draco's thoughts and the setting.

"His voice sounded thick and wet, like he was shouting the words through a mouthful of cooked spinach."

^ That just seems to sum up that feeling so perfectly! I loved that line for being so accurate and (sorry to say) familiar. I definitely felt that sluggish feeling that Draco was in and I was overall very impressed.

This is a really interesting concept for a story. I doubt that Draco's road to recovery will be smooth but who doesn't like a bit of conflict? And the addition of Astoria will be interesting to say the least.

Great job :)


Author's Response: Hi, Marina!

I didn't necessarily want readers to feel sorry for Draco when I wrote this, I was just trying to write him the way that I perceived him after his appearances in HBP and DH. He's not a nice guy and I don't think that even the horrors of the war changed the way that he thought about a lot of things. He's probably still believes that his family name and the blood in his veins makes him better than other people. But I also think he came to realize that ideals like those aren't worth fighting over. He mostly just wishes that things could go back to the way they were before he had any idea who Voldemort was, but that's obviously never going to happen.

I'm glad you liked all of the descriptions. I put a lot of time into tweaking them and trying to grab the small details that I thought would have stuck out to a helplessly drunk person. And the spinach thing... yeah. I'm also sorry to say that I've been in a similar situation.

Draco's path back is going to be anything but smooth. Now he was a reason to try, however. In the end, that will make all the difference. ;)

Thanks so much for reading and reviewing!

 Report Review

Review #8, by marinahillShattered Infinity: Marked for Destruction

20th December 2013:
What a powerful 500 words! Despite the small word goal I think this is one of the most difficult challenges to attempt. You have to create characters, emotions, setting and plot in such a short space of time. You drew me in from the start and there was no doubt who the protagonist was. Automatically I knew the context and made me feel sorry for Snape straight away. His bitterness and regret came across so strongly. His self-loathing too was really well written and I both felt sorry for him and blamed him at the same time, much as he feels towards himself.

And even though it's short there's definitely some character growth too. He reaches a conclusion at the end due to the emotions and feelings you describe and it's a beautiful but sad ending. There's such a sense of finality, that we know that he can and will never forgive himself for what he did. But you picked up on something really important for this growth - the fact that he always dreamt that he would get to aplogise and make peace. He won't get that now and that makes his misery concrete because he'll never get closure or forgiveness from her.

A really fantastic one-shot! You've fleshed out Snape so well in so few words. Well done!


Author's Response: Aw, thanks so much! It makes me smile to hear that someone thinks that my words are powerful. :)

Yes, I had wanted to attempt this challenge for a long time before I wrote this story. Then one night, I got the plunny in my head and there was no doubt in my mind--it would be exactly 500 words.

I'm glad that you got the context. That was probably the hardest part--using my words to create all the different elements of a story, but not using so many that I ran out before the story ended! Snape is such a complex character--there is no way that 500 words could encapsulate how pitiable AND how condemn-able he was, but I'm am so happy to know that you thought that I did well with that!

Thank you so, so much! I'm sure that I didn't mean to make the ending so sad, but it definitely fits in with the rest of the story. Thank you for saying that it's beautiful and sad--that's really nice of you! I would like to think that Lily's death hurt Severus far worse than her rejection of his friendship. After all, because she is dead, he has no more chances to apologize. It certainly haunted him for the rest of his life.

Thank you so, so, so, so very much for your lovely review!

 Report Review

Review #9, by marinahillEnding It: Ending it

20th December 2013:
Aww. I love forbidden romance as much as the next person but wow. This really put into clear light the immorality of what they were doing. Teddy never really saw her as a serious contender for his heart, she was just convenient. I think my heart actually broke at this line: "I love her more than I love you." That was so devastating! Not only did she have to summon the courage to break it off with him she then had to hear that he was going to propose because he had to made a choice and he hadn't chosen her. Ouch.

Great job!


Author's Response: Hey! Thanks so much for reading and reviewing!

I am pleased you liked this especially since you enjoy forbidden romances and this one portrayed it in a different light than usual. Teddy was awful yeah! Aw I am glad this touched you though. Dom indeed had to go through so much to do this. But she made the right choice in the end.

Thank you!

 Report Review

Review #10, by marinahillEnd of an Era: End of an Era

16th December 2012:
Oh wow, this was so wonderfully nostalgic! Minerva saw so much at Hogwarts, either as a student or as a Professor. It just seems so impossible to think of Hogwarts without her, though the same could be said for Dumbledore too. I liked how you explored her relationship with her parents and explained how that influenced her life later on. How do you walk away from something like Hogwarts after seventy years? I'm sure that was a very difficult decision for her to make. She could have easily convinced herself "just one more year" until it was too late. This was she gets to leave with her dignity and on a high, with good memories to take with her when she finally takes a well-earned and deserved retirement.

Merry Christmas!

Author's Response: Thank you so much for the lovely review! It was really interesting to try and picture Hogwarts from her POV.

Merry Christmas to you too!

 Report Review

Review #11, by marinahillHazardous : Graduation

16th December 2012:
Oh nooo. Oh no. Don't make them so adorable and sweet and cute when you're about to TEAR THEM APART! I think I fell in love with them a little bit. I mean, the writing was brilliant, especially that first section - the narrative voice was so strong, the descriptions so well put-together but they sounded very age-appropriate, if that makes sense? No purple prose to be found, I thought it was an excellent balance between poetry and realistic thoughts for someone of her age.

And that just made me love Charlie, too. How neither of them are standing in the way of each of their dreams. He's going to Romania, like he's always wanted, and she's going to be an Auror, fulfilling her dream. But that just means that they're going to be apart and that's so hard. I hope they can cope with this, but I have a feeling you're going to be throwing some hurdles at us.

I loved it so much! You better not hurt them...

Merry Christmas!

Author's Response: Hahahah MARINA I can't help it! i have to make them sweet and cute because because they ARE. I'm so happy you felt like the narrative voice was strong. I have such a hard time with first person, so I do really get nervous about how it comes off.

Ah I can't promise that I won't hurt them... but I can promise to try and make it a really good story! That's something, right?!?! ♥ Thank you so much for stopping by ♥

 Report Review

Review #12, by marinahillLife As We Know It: chapter one

16th December 2012:
Not a huge Dramione fan myself, but I definitely believe it can be done well if in the right hands. I think that we already have this set-up between Ron and Hermione and it would be untrue to the characters to completely forget about that. So it's good that you start straight away with how Hermione is feeling about Ron. She's hurt, heartbroken, humiliated and upset, a perfect premise to start the story on. Ron choosing Lavender is like the ultimate rejection, because Lavender is almost like a polar opposite of Hermione - she's girly, frivolous, not as intelligent, loves Divination, giggly... I could go on. Hermione has never been one of those girls, and I'm sure she thinks that Ron choosing Lavender is almost like a slap in the face for her.

So, what with a wounded Hermione and a surprise appearance from Draco, you have a lot of potential for a great plot from here on out. I think she's going to let her rejection and broken heart drive her into perhaps not the wisest choice of arms.

Great start :) Merry Christmas!

Author's Response: Your review is awesome! I always love it when a person who isn't a huge dramione fan takes a chance on this story and thinks that i'm doing a good job of pulling it off. I always feel so bad for herminoe though at the beginning she's lonely and doesn't really seem to have anyone to turn to and then theres ron whom she loves but he's so blind he doesn't realize it! Thanks so much for taking the time to read and review!


 Report Review

Review #13, by marinahillMuggle Studies: Charming Assessments

13th December 2012:
YES he found love!

I laughed so much (as always). He's so snarky and smart and so very much like me when I'm teaching that I've concluded you're following me around with a dictaphone. Poor poor Archie, I knew the prank was going to get him eventually, and bless him he didn't need for his students to hear that story.

I hope you're updating this soon, because I do believe I've finally caught up. We need more puns, more stark, some ROMANCE and more hilariously named students.

Merry Christmas!


I think this song was mostly written about Archie.

I LOVE the idea of you being like this when you teach. Honestly, it warms my heart that there is someone in the world teaching in such a way.

Merry christmas, Marina!

 Report Review

Review #14, by marinahillBrain Activity: Residue

13th December 2012:
First of all, that chapter image is AMAZING. Second of all, Neville is also amazing. What a babe! He sounded so cosy and contented right there at the start, wrapped up and marking his essays. Naturally he's not going to be nearly so comfortable now that Hermione's barged in with her news.

Time is literally running out for them, seeing as the funeral is tomorrow, and now Harry's escaped. I see no "om nom nom brains" in this chapter but I'm really certain that it'll be there very soon.

This story has such a great atmosphere to it. Roger might be unwilling, but Hermione showed him who's boss and I think that definitely showed how urgent and desperate she was... ugh, can you imagine the funeral if Harry just waltzes in as a zombie? Not a good plan. I hope they can stop Harry before the news gets out. Naturally, as you have many chapters posted already, I'm going to assume this doesn't all get resolved next chapter. In which case, bring on the "om nom nom" brains! ;)

Merry Christmas!

Author's Response: Marina! *snuggles*

Isn't he amazing though? I love me some Neville, he might very well be my favorite Gryffindor.

And yes, there will be some nomming on brains in the very near future so don't you worry, in the next chapter you are totally golden :)

Now what kind of story would it be if Hermione just casually sees Harry browsing the scarf section of a shop on the road and just cuts off his head and then the story ends? Now that's no fun, is it? :P

Thanks so much for reviewing!!

PS: I have no idea why he'd be looking in the scarf section...maybe to cover up his unsightly skin abscesses? I don't know, just roll with it.

 Report Review

Review #15, by marinahillBrain Activity: The Zombie Lord

7th December 2012:
Oh my god I am so happy I have finally read this. It was AMAZING. I know this story is listed as humour, but I'm so glad this opening chapter wasn't slapstick or overly like ridiculously funny, if you know what I mean? I think it would have been inappropriate to have Ginny's angst and the family problems if Zombie Harry had just popped up and tried to eat her brains just then. It's so much better because it's a lot more realistic... Well, better for the story, but not so good for the characters.

I love the idea. Only you can pull this off and I have no doubt you will. Excellent excellent concept and opening chapter and I hope you get to use "om nom nom brains" at some point.

Merry Christmas!!

Author's Response: OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG I am so excited that you came to read this! Yeah, the entire story really isn't meant to be funny. There is some bits of humor here and there, so that the story doesn't take itself TOO seriously, but it's mostly horror and dark.

But come on. Harry Potter is a zombie. What's not to love :P Thank you so so much for this kind review, Merry Christmas!!

 Report Review

Review #16, by marinahillUndisclosed Desires: Victoire

7th December 2012:
Okay, I LOVED it. Victoire is such a great character, it's almost a shame that the whole story isn't dedicated to her. Dominique as well was so well written, I really could feel them come alive as I read.

Her narrative voice was so strong. I felt her insecurities and her frustrations and I really sympathised with her. The relationship between celebrity and the press is an interesting one, and I thought she coped remarkably well. She was pretty brave to do what she did and go and show the world what she's like when she's not all dolled up, but she was so right. Out of office hours, it's her own life she's living.

Brilliant stuff. Merry Christmas!

Author's Response: MARRRINA! *hug*

Victoire is lovely, but alas the story can not be about her. I don't think I could wallow in her sadness over the break up for a whole story. And anyway, the rest of them are going to be just too much fun. But I'm glad that you thought that she could be. I do think she is quite brave, but she is right. I think I would cry if I could never wear my fat pants again. I felt sorry for the girl.

Thanks for the review, lovely. Merry Christmas!

 Report Review

Review #17, by marinahillFried Eggs: Marianna

7th December 2012:
Don't we all know that feeling? When you're stressed and everything just seems awful and out to get you. I don't blame Marianna for shouting.

I really enjoyed the narrative here. It was so well done, especially in third person narrative, which tends to make it harder to write a good inner-narrative than first person point of view. I thought it was a really realistic and appropriate portrayal of the stress that comes with being a student and being in school. She has to put up with all her workload and friend dramas at the same time, so no wonder she snapped.

If I had to offer some criticism, I'd maybe go back and read the dialogue aloud. It was a bit stiff, which suited Flitwick very well and was more appropriate for his age, but I thought it was a tiny bit formal for Marianna. Other than that, I thought everything was really well done, the narrative voice especially.

Well done and Merry Christmas!

Author's Response: I most certainly have had those days where you just want to crawl under your covers and stay there forever. Sadly, the world doesn't allow you to do that.

I'm glad that you enjoyed the story. I find first-person harder to write than third-person, so I'm glad that third-person worked for you. I'm also very pleased to hear that Marianna's reaction was believable. :)

I'll go back and look at the dialogue. When I was writing it I used formal language because that was how I pictured Marianna acting but perhaps I went overboard... She is just a teenager, after all.

Thank you and Happy Holidays!

 Report Review

Review #18, by marinahillMuggle Studies: Squabbles and Squibbles

7th December 2012:
Oh my god, Helen. You know what I just realised? Archibald is me. I am Archibald.

This is exactly my teaching style. I'm so sarcastic with my pupils it's unreal, except that they don't answer back because sarcasm is lost on French kids. Just... I was just reading this and relating to everything he felt. Damn, is this good or bad? Good for you, because now I can say with assurance that this is realistic! But bad that I'm like a grumpy man who's just been dumped. Wow.

Anyway, this was hilarious as usual. The pupils are a delight to read about, though I'm sure not to teach. Lots of funny lines, and I love that he was bet not to use magic and yet that's caused him no end of troubles with his pupils. And then there's the elf that thinks he's a woman...

I loved it. Sorry it's been so long. Merry Christmas!

 Report Review

Review #19, by marinahillAva: Ava

7th December 2012:
This was so amazingly cute! I was really impressed by how much of a rapport you created between Seamus and Ava in such a short space of time. I really felt like they had a real connection. You built up their characters bit by bit, but not directly - I learnt more about them from the way they spoke, they way they interacted with one another and also small bits about their appearance, like Ava's chewed nails.

You had a great balance between dialogue and narrative. I liked all the little details you included about their surroundings, like the other people in the coffee shop and then the way the waiter kept interrupting Seamus at important moments. The scene was set really well and subtly without too much heavy description, which meant you didn't weight the tone down either, which was perfect for a fluff piece.

I really enjoyed it, great job! Merry Christmas :)

Author's Response: Aw, thank you so much!
I'm really glaf you enjoyed it-I've never really written fluff before, and I know this was a bit cheesy so it means a lot!
Merry christmas to you, too.

 Report Review

Review #20, by marinahillProgress: Two

30th September 2012:
Oh my god. SO MUCH ANGST. I want to cuddle them both up and squish them together so they both have someone to cling to. Poor George :( He misses his brother so much... it's always there at the back of his mind to niggle at him and bring him down when all he needs is a ray of hope, which maybe he has now found in Hannah.

Gorgeous stuff. ♥

Author's Response: I know right? SO MUCH. I love writing it though, so thank you very much lovely ♥

 Report Review

Review #21, by marinahillLosing My Head: 2 - Lies, deceit and compliments

30th September 2012:
Hahahaha. Awesome second chapter, my dear! I really needed a laugh and this gave me plenty of it. Firstly, the wig. Ahaha, can you just imagine her face? Poor Rose, that was a rookie mistake. Then like basically killing her professor... oops. I mean, anyone could make that mistake... But she definitely needs to work on her subtlety.

I missed Scorp in this chapter! I expect lots of him in the next chapter, please.

Author's Response: Hmm, she reminds me of you a bit, perhaps I subsconsciously based her on you? ;) don't worry, there'll be lots more Scorp to come. LOVE YA

 Report Review

Review #22, by marinahillDown Comes The Night: Chapter Five

10th September 2012:
Oh wow. This was soo good. It's very rare to find a founders fic this realistic and it's so wonderful to read. Your characters come alive - their tone and dialogue are both perfect for the era and their characters too. Salazar's thoughts on muggles were chilling to read, and I felt so sorry for poor Helga, stuck in the middle. I liked Rowena too, because she was practical and logical and gave Helga some great advice. I hope Salazar will forgive Helga for not telling him, but I suppose he has to find out sooner or later and I can tell she's worried about whether he'll leave or still like her or not. I really enjoyed reading this!


Author's Response: Hi Marina! Thanks so much for reviewing this chapter...I've been dying for feedback on it! I'm so happy to hear that the characters feel real. My goal was to have them be authentic to the era, and yet I still hoped people would be able to connect with them.

Salazar's got some issues. I can't think of a better way to put it :/ And Helga definitely has a lot to think about right now. I'm glad you feel for her, because I definitely do too! And I see Rowena being a great voice of reason for her, so it's good to know that came across.

Thanks again! I really appreciate this :D


 Report Review

Review #23, by marinahillThe Mark of Cain: The Mark of Cain

5th September 2012:
Blimey. Your work just gets better and better and the more I read the more impressed I am by the sheer weight of your words. Right from the beginning, everything seems so controlled and perfectly placed. You construct these sentences that pack more punch to them than anything else I've ever read.

I love Regulus as a character, because there are two fascinating sides to him. On the one hand, there's the boy joining the cause to please his parents and whatever values of theirs have been instilled in him, and on the other hand there's the boy who's rebelling against his heritage and his own decisions and trying to fight, knowing probably that he's doomed. I love everything you did here to show the complex nature of his personality and I think I love him even more now.

That first paragraph has to be one of my favourites, ever. It doesn't read like you're trying too hard. It sounds so natural that you should describe the scene like that and it's so accurate and true that it's beautiful. There's something so desperately sad about the way he tries to remove the mark despite knowing deep down that he can't.

A very moving and intelligent piece, Susan. I loved it! ♥

Author's Response: Thank you very much, Marina! Wow, it was incredible to come across this review - I'm still speechless, so forgive me if this response sounds a little stilted in places. To hear these accolades from you means a lot - I can't properly express all the feels this review has given me. ^_^

The two sides of Regulus make a perfect subject for exploration and character study. Much of it depends on whose perspective you take on, whether it be that of Sirius or of Kreacher, which only adds to the fascination of his character. How could someone be two completely different things at the same time? What is it like in such a person's mind? The potential for a powerful story is amazing - there are so many ways one could write Regulus and try to answer those questions. It's fantastic to hear that the portrayal of Regulus in this story turned out so well!

That scene with the mark is very simple, yet tragic in that simplicity, emphasizing his immaturity - he's too young for it, yet they've forced it on him anyway. That's the one thing I've never been able to understand about his story - why did they need him to become a Death Eater so soon? He wasn't even of age yet! I'm glad that this scene is natural and effective - it's very important in setting the tone and framing the story.

Thank you again for reading and reviewing this story! You loved it! That's what matters most to hear. ^_^

 Report Review

Review #24, by marinahillAll the Abstract Nouns: Sixteen

29th July 2012:
Oh my god, I am so with you on the fact that people saying they know you'll do AMAZINGLY on exams doesn't help one bit.

So many girls' names end in y/ie! In my uni house this past year all our names ended in ie/y, it was awesome. (and I can probably imagine someone out there reading this and thinking that Marina doesn't end in a y/ie, but hey, that's a mystery for you).

"It had been unexpected because Erin wasn't one of the elitist, slightly orange populars herself" hahahaa oh my god this is why I love this story. So many lovely nostalgic memories of high school. It's like you've just broken into my life and stolen it and stuck it on a page.

Awesome chapter. :D

Author's Response: It's a pretty little mystery which I think I've possibly considered before reading this, ahha. I'll let it lie though. AHH my parents always do the 'WE KNOW YOU'RE GOING TO DO SO WELL' thing and it's just horrible.

Ohdear. Just remember about results day. Okay, moving on.

Well, breaking into your life and sticking it on a page was definitely what I was aiming for xD

Thank you! :)

 Report Review

Review #25, by marinahillBrink.: When Everyone Becomes A Stranger

29th July 2012:
First of all I have to say that the composition is spectacular. I like the mix of old and new scenes, it just added to the jumble of thoughts and memories that must be inside her head.

Second: wow. You approached this so sensitively and what I can only imagine is true to the real thing. There were a whole mix of emotions mashed together and I could feel her panic and desperation and wanting to remember and hold onto lucid thoughts but struggling so much against her illness. It's not her fault but her family were so concerned and frustrated at the same time by it. They can't help her being ill either but it must be so painful to have to go through that. You really wrote this perfectly and beautifully and it was so heartbreakingly tragic.

Wonderful. ♥

Author's Response: Hey Marina! Eee, this review has made me so happy :).

Mm, yes, I wanted to have those fragments of Mary's memories in there to really emphasize how confusing and upsetting the whole thing is~ I wanted it to build a sense of panic, as well, and a sort of 'history' of the disease. I wasn't sure whether to do more or not, but decided that they were pretty angsty and there's enough angst in this already :D.

Like I said in my author's note, I really don't have much experience with this illness apart from the fact that a neighbour of mine has it, and I often bake her cookies and it's always really scary how helpless she seems.

Anyway, gosh, you have no idea how much this review means to mee, or what a compliment it is :O. Thank you so, so much!

 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login

<Previous Page  Jump:     Next Page>