Oh wow, this was so wonderfully nostalgic! Minerva saw so much at Hogwarts, either as a student or as a Professor. It just seems so impossible to think of Hogwarts without her, though the same could be said for Dumbledore too. I liked how you explored her relationship with her parents and explained how that influenced her life later on. How do you walk away from something like Hogwarts after seventy years? I'm sure that was a very difficult decision for her to make. She could have easily convinced herself "just one more year" until it was too late. This was she gets to leave with her dignity and on a high, with good memories to take with her when she finally takes a well-earned and deserved retirement.
Merry Christmas!Author's Response: Thank you so much for the lovely review! It was really interesting to try and picture Hogwarts from her POV.
Merry Christmas to you too! Report Review
Oh nooo. Oh no. Don't make them so adorable and sweet and cute when you're about to TEAR THEM APART! I think I fell in love with them a little bit. I mean, the writing was brilliant, especially that first section - the narrative voice was so strong, the descriptions so well put-together but they sounded very age-appropriate, if that makes sense? No purple prose to be found, I thought it was an excellent balance between poetry and realistic thoughts for someone of her age.
And that just made me love Charlie, too. How neither of them are standing in the way of each of their dreams. He's going to Romania, like he's always wanted, and she's going to be an Auror, fulfilling her dream. But that just means that they're going to be apart and that's so hard. I hope they can cope with this, but I have a feeling you're going to be throwing some hurdles at us.
I loved it so much! You better not hurt them...
Merry Christmas!Author's Response: Hahahah MARINA I can't help it! i have to make them sweet and cute because because they ARE. I'm so happy you felt like the narrative voice was strong. I have such a hard time with first person, so I do really get nervous about how it comes off.
Ah I can't promise that I won't hurt them... but I can promise to try and make it a really good story! That's something, right?!?! ♥ Thank you so much for stopping by ♥ Report Review
Not a huge Dramione fan myself, but I definitely believe it can be done well if in the right hands. I think that we already have this set-up between Ron and Hermione and it would be untrue to the characters to completely forget about that. So it's good that you start straight away with how Hermione is feeling about Ron. She's hurt, heartbroken, humiliated and upset, a perfect premise to start the story on. Ron choosing Lavender is like the ultimate rejection, because Lavender is almost like a polar opposite of Hermione - she's girly, frivolous, not as intelligent, loves Divination, giggly... I could go on. Hermione has never been one of those girls, and I'm sure she thinks that Ron choosing Lavender is almost like a slap in the face for her.
So, what with a wounded Hermione and a surprise appearance from Draco, you have a lot of potential for a great plot from here on out. I think she's going to let her rejection and broken heart drive her into perhaps not the wisest choice of arms.
Great start :) Merry Christmas!Author's Response: Your review is awesome! I always love it when a person who isn't a huge dramione fan takes a chance on this story and thinks that i'm doing a good job of pulling it off. I always feel so bad for herminoe though at the beginning she's lonely and doesn't really seem to have anyone to turn to and then theres ron whom she loves but he's so blind he doesn't realize it! Thanks so much for taking the time to read and review!
~Slytherinchica08~ Report Review
YES he found love!
I laughed so much (as always). He's so snarky and smart and so very much like me when I'm teaching that I've concluded you're following me around with a dictaphone. Poor poor Archie, I knew the prank was going to get him eventually, and bless him he didn't need for his students to hear that story.
I hope you're updating this soon, because I do believe I've finally caught up. We need more puns, more stark, some ROMANCE and more hilariously named students.
Merry Christmas!Author's Response: HE FOUND LOVE IN A HOPELESS PLACE.
I think this song was mostly written about Archie.
I LOVE the idea of you being like this when you teach. Honestly, it warms my heart that there is someone in the world teaching in such a way.
Merry christmas, Marina! Report Review
First of all, that chapter image is AMAZING. Second of all, Neville is also amazing. What a babe! He sounded so cosy and contented right there at the start, wrapped up and marking his essays. Naturally he's not going to be nearly so comfortable now that Hermione's barged in with her news.
Time is literally running out for them, seeing as the funeral is tomorrow, and now Harry's escaped. I see no "om nom nom brains" in this chapter but I'm really certain that it'll be there very soon.
This story has such a great atmosphere to it. Roger might be unwilling, but Hermione showed him who's boss and I think that definitely showed how urgent and desperate she was... ugh, can you imagine the funeral if Harry just waltzes in as a zombie? Not a good plan. I hope they can stop Harry before the news gets out. Naturally, as you have many chapters posted already, I'm going to assume this doesn't all get resolved next chapter. In which case, bring on the "om nom nom" brains! ;)
Merry Christmas!Author's Response: Marina! *snuggles*
Isn't he amazing though? I love me some Neville, he might very well be my favorite Gryffindor.
And yes, there will be some nomming on brains in the very near future so don't you worry, in the next chapter you are totally golden :)
Now what kind of story would it be if Hermione just casually sees Harry browsing the scarf section of a shop on the road and just cuts off his head and then the story ends? Now that's no fun, is it? :P
Thanks so much for reviewing!!
PS: I have no idea why he'd be looking in the scarf section...maybe to cover up his unsightly skin abscesses? I don't know, just roll with it. Report Review
Oh my god I am so happy I have finally read this. It was AMAZING. I know this story is listed as humour, but I'm so glad this opening chapter wasn't slapstick or overly like ridiculously funny, if you know what I mean? I think it would have been inappropriate to have Ginny's angst and the family problems if Zombie Harry had just popped up and tried to eat her brains just then. It's so much better because it's a lot more realistic... Well, better for the story, but not so good for the characters.
I love the idea. Only you can pull this off and I have no doubt you will. Excellent excellent concept and opening chapter and I hope you get to use "om nom nom brains" at some point.
Merry Christmas!!Author's Response: OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG I am so excited that you came to read this! Yeah, the entire story really isn't meant to be funny. There is some bits of humor here and there, so that the story doesn't take itself TOO seriously, but it's mostly horror and dark.
But come on. Harry Potter is a zombie. What's not to love :P Thank you so so much for this kind review, Merry Christmas!! Report Review
Okay, I LOVED it. Victoire is such a great character, it's almost a shame that the whole story isn't dedicated to her. Dominique as well was so well written, I really could feel them come alive as I read.
Her narrative voice was so strong. I felt her insecurities and her frustrations and I really sympathised with her. The relationship between celebrity and the press is an interesting one, and I thought she coped remarkably well. She was pretty brave to do what she did and go and show the world what she's like when she's not all dolled up, but she was so right. Out of office hours, it's her own life she's living.
Brilliant stuff. Merry Christmas!Author's Response: MARRRINA! *hug*
Victoire is lovely, but alas the story can not be about her. I don't think I could wallow in her sadness over the break up for a whole story. And anyway, the rest of them are going to be just too much fun. But I'm glad that you thought that she could be. I do think she is quite brave, but she is right. I think I would cry if I could never wear my fat pants again. I felt sorry for the girl.
Thanks for the review, lovely. Merry Christmas! Report Review
Don't we all know that feeling? When you're stressed and everything just seems awful and out to get you. I don't blame Marianna for shouting.
I really enjoyed the narrative here. It was so well done, especially in third person narrative, which tends to make it harder to write a good inner-narrative than first person point of view. I thought it was a really realistic and appropriate portrayal of the stress that comes with being a student and being in school. She has to put up with all her workload and friend dramas at the same time, so no wonder she snapped.
If I had to offer some criticism, I'd maybe go back and read the dialogue aloud. It was a bit stiff, which suited Flitwick very well and was more appropriate for his age, but I thought it was a tiny bit formal for Marianna. Other than that, I thought everything was really well done, the narrative voice especially.
Well done and Merry Christmas!Author's Response: I most certainly have had those days where you just want to crawl under your covers and stay there forever. Sadly, the world doesn't allow you to do that.
I'm glad that you enjoyed the story. I find first-person harder to write than third-person, so I'm glad that third-person worked for you. I'm also very pleased to hear that Marianna's reaction was believable. :)
I'll go back and look at the dialogue. When I was writing it I used formal language because that was how I pictured Marianna acting but perhaps I went overboard... She is just a teenager, after all.
Thank you and Happy Holidays! Report Review
Oh my god, Helen. You know what I just realised? Archibald is me. I am Archibald.
This is exactly my teaching style. I'm so sarcastic with my pupils it's unreal, except that they don't answer back because sarcasm is lost on French kids. Just... I was just reading this and relating to everything he felt. Damn, is this good or bad? Good for you, because now I can say with assurance that this is realistic! But bad that I'm like a grumpy man who's just been dumped. Wow.
Anyway, this was hilarious as usual. The pupils are a delight to read about, though I'm sure not to teach. Lots of funny lines, and I love that he was bet not to use magic and yet that's caused him no end of troubles with his pupils. And then there's the elf that thinks he's a woman...
I loved it. Sorry it's been so long. Merry Christmas! Report Review
This was so amazingly cute! I was really impressed by how much of a rapport you created between Seamus and Ava in such a short space of time. I really felt like they had a real connection. You built up their characters bit by bit, but not directly - I learnt more about them from the way they spoke, they way they interacted with one another and also small bits about their appearance, like Ava's chewed nails.
You had a great balance between dialogue and narrative. I liked all the little details you included about their surroundings, like the other people in the coffee shop and then the way the waiter kept interrupting Seamus at important moments. The scene was set really well and subtly without too much heavy description, which meant you didn't weight the tone down either, which was perfect for a fluff piece.
I really enjoyed it, great job! Merry Christmas :)Author's Response: Aw, thank you so much!
I'm really glaf you enjoyed it-I've never really written fluff before, and I know this was a bit cheesy so it means a lot!
Merry christmas to you, too.
Courtney:) Report Review
Oh my god. SO MUCH ANGST. I want to cuddle them both up and squish them together so they both have someone to cling to. Poor George :( He misses his brother so much... it's always there at the back of his mind to niggle at him and bring him down when all he needs is a ray of hope, which maybe he has now found in Hannah.
Gorgeous stuff. ♥Author's Response: I know right? SO MUCH. I love writing it though, so thank you very much lovely â¥ Report Review
Hahahaha. Awesome second chapter, my dear! I really needed a laugh and this gave me plenty of it. Firstly, the wig. Ahaha, can you just imagine her face? Poor Rose, that was a rookie mistake. Then like basically killing her professor... oops. I mean, anyone could make that mistake... But she definitely needs to work on her subtlety.
I missed Scorp in this chapter! I expect lots of him in the next chapter, please.
♥Author's Response: Hmm, she reminds me of you a bit, perhaps I subsconsciously based her on you? ;) don't worry, there'll be lots more Scorp to come. LOVE YA Report Review
This was simple but very effective. I liked how you never disclosed who the narrator is, yet I still got a really vivid feel for them in my mind. The first person narrative really helped with this - I got to see right inside their head and feel everything as they did. I half imagined this as Lavender speaking, but it could have been anyone who fought in the war. The narrator comes pretty much full circle, starting as a whole person, breaking down then building themselves back up again. A very touching piece :)
MarinaAuthor's Response: I'm just going to let you know that I fan-girled over this! :p
I was kinda going for the simple yet effective angle, so I'm glad I succeeded. :)
Hmm... Lavender, I never really thought of her but this fic was for people to make their own choice about the narrator. :D
I'm really glad you thought it was touching, it was really hard for me to write, I'm glad I affected people. :D
Thank you so much for reviewing! :D Report Review
Oh wow. This was soo good. It's very rare to find a founders fic this realistic and it's so wonderful to read. Your characters come alive - their tone and dialogue are both perfect for the era and their characters too. Salazar's thoughts on muggles were chilling to read, and I felt so sorry for poor Helga, stuck in the middle. I liked Rowena too, because she was practical and logical and gave Helga some great advice. I hope Salazar will forgive Helga for not telling him, but I suppose he has to find out sooner or later and I can tell she's worried about whether he'll leave or still like her or not. I really enjoyed reading this!
MarinaAuthor's Response: Hi Marina! Thanks so much for reviewing this chapter...I've been dying for feedback on it! I'm so happy to hear that the characters feel real. My goal was to have them be authentic to the era, and yet I still hoped people would be able to connect with them.
Salazar's got some issues. I can't think of a better way to put it :/ And Helga definitely has a lot to think about right now. I'm glad you feel for her, because I definitely do too! And I see Rowena being a great voice of reason for her, so it's good to know that came across.
Thanks again! I really appreciate this :D
--Maggie Report Review
Blimey. Your work just gets better and better and the more I read the more impressed I am by the sheer weight of your words. Right from the beginning, everything seems so controlled and perfectly placed. You construct these sentences that pack more punch to them than anything else I've ever read.
I love Regulus as a character, because there are two fascinating sides to him. On the one hand, there's the boy joining the cause to please his parents and whatever values of theirs have been instilled in him, and on the other hand there's the boy who's rebelling against his heritage and his own decisions and trying to fight, knowing probably that he's doomed. I love everything you did here to show the complex nature of his personality and I think I love him even more now.
That first paragraph has to be one of my favourites, ever. It doesn't read like you're trying too hard. It sounds so natural that you should describe the scene like that and it's so accurate and true that it's beautiful. There's something so desperately sad about the way he tries to remove the mark despite knowing deep down that he can't.
A very moving and intelligent piece, Susan. I loved it! ♥Author's Response: Thank you very much, Marina! Wow, it was incredible to come across this review - I'm still speechless, so forgive me if this response sounds a little stilted in places. To hear these accolades from you means a lot - I can't properly express all the feels this review has given me. ^_^
The two sides of Regulus make a perfect subject for exploration and character study. Much of it depends on whose perspective you take on, whether it be that of Sirius or of Kreacher, which only adds to the fascination of his character. How could someone be two completely different things at the same time? What is it like in such a person's mind? The potential for a powerful story is amazing - there are so many ways one could write Regulus and try to answer those questions. It's fantastic to hear that the portrayal of Regulus in this story turned out so well!
That scene with the mark is very simple, yet tragic in that simplicity, emphasizing his immaturity - he's too young for it, yet they've forced it on him anyway. That's the one thing I've never been able to understand about his story - why did they need him to become a Death Eater so soon? He wasn't even of age yet! I'm glad that this scene is natural and effective - it's very important in setting the tone and framing the story.
Thank you again for reading and reviewing this story! You loved it! That's what matters most to hear. ^_^ Report Review
Oh my god, I am so with you on the fact that people saying they know you'll do AMAZINGLY on exams doesn't help one bit.
So many girls' names end in y/ie! In my uni house this past year all our names ended in ie/y, it was awesome. (and I can probably imagine someone out there reading this and thinking that Marina doesn't end in a y/ie, but hey, that's a mystery for you).
"It had been unexpected because Erin wasn't one of the elitist, slightly orange populars herself" hahahaa oh my god this is why I love this story. So many lovely nostalgic memories of high school. It's like you've just broken into my life and stolen it and stuck it on a page.
Awesome chapter. :DAuthor's Response: It's a pretty little mystery which I think I've possibly considered before reading this, ahha. I'll let it lie though. AHH my parents always do the 'WE KNOW YOU'RE GOING TO DO SO WELL' thing and it's just horrible.
Ohdear. Just remember about results day. Okay, moving on.
Well, breaking into your life and sticking it on a page was definitely what I was aiming for xD
Thank you! :) Report Review
First of all I have to say that the composition is spectacular. I like the mix of old and new scenes, it just added to the jumble of thoughts and memories that must be inside her head.
Second: wow. You approached this so sensitively and what I can only imagine is true to the real thing. There were a whole mix of emotions mashed together and I could feel her panic and desperation and wanting to remember and hold onto lucid thoughts but struggling so much against her illness. It's not her fault but her family were so concerned and frustrated at the same time by it. They can't help her being ill either but it must be so painful to have to go through that. You really wrote this perfectly and beautifully and it was so heartbreakingly tragic.
Wonderful. ♥Author's Response: Hey Marina! Eee, this review has made me so happy :).
Mm, yes, I wanted to have those fragments of Mary's memories in there to really emphasize how confusing and upsetting the whole thing is~ I wanted it to build a sense of panic, as well, and a sort of 'history' of the disease. I wasn't sure whether to do more or not, but decided that they were pretty angsty and there's enough angst in this already :D.
Like I said in my author's note, I really don't have much experience with this illness apart from the fact that a neighbour of mine has it, and I often bake her cookies and it's always really scary how helpless she seems.
Anyway, gosh, you have no idea how much this review means to mee, or what a compliment it is :O. Thank you so, so much! Report Review
OH MY GOD.
Okay. So it seems like a decade ago that we first talked about this and we were throwing titles at each other and my ideas were really crap and you had some really good ideas and you stuck to this one. I'm so glad you did, it was perfect for this story.
It was epic, Jenny, as epic as you first hoped it would be and you should be so so incredibly proud. The plot was so clever and twisty and bigger than I could have thought when you first pitched it and I am so excited for the sequel.
I'm just going to go off and squee for Noah and Evie. SO CUTE.
Also, BEST ending line ever. I could almost hear some awesome soundtrack-y music going on. Just... brilliant.
Congrats! ♥Author's Response: YAY! Ahh I remember, that was the first time I spoke to you! Fun times. Thank you for your lovely comments, reviews and for always helping me whenever I've needed it, or needed some motivation to write/finish the damn thing. You are amazing and I'm glad you liked this, especially the end :D
LOVE YOU! Report Review
Oh my god yes!!!
Answers! The kiss! Fighting! Best chapter so far, definitely. You've got an awesome plot here, I don't know how you think of these things because it was just so superb. It explains so many things that I was bursting to know and the truth is way more awesome than I was imagining.
So so good, Jen! Onto the final chapter, I think.Author's Response: Haha, you're welcome! Lots explained here so I'm glad you liked it lovely. Although to hear you, legendary awesome writer, saying that about my stuff is always weird. :P Report Review
Ahhh! You're so cruel! She was just about to read the note but you cut her off! We better find out the truth about her parents, or else... well, there's no knowing what I'll do. I'm crazy.
ANYWAY. I LOVED this chapter. It was so tense the whole way through and I just wanted her to find out more about her past but then you threw in the Hunter and that was it and now she's caught. Agh, I have to read on.Author's Response: Hmm, we might find out here, we might not. ;) and thank you! Tense was what I was going for. Read on ;) Report Review
Ooh. There's definitely something very mysterious going on. I hope the answers that Evie finds soon will answer ALL my questions too :P
Also, yay for Noah apologising. They need to get.it.on. like now.
♥Author's Response: So crude, honestly! Maybe there will, maybe there won't... Report Review
I like this new side to James. I think it just shows how much he HAS changed by the respect he shows Ella and how he acts when he's around her. He could have easily pinned the blame for what happened on his family but he didn't and that was such a step forward. I'm strangely proud!
And they kissed! I like that it wasn't some crazy lust-filled thing which they acted on in the heat of the moment. I feel like this one was a rational decision rather than something that could have been a mistake.
xxAuthor's Response: DRAMZ ALL OVER ♥
Yes :D Multiple reasons for Ella. She's my favourite OC ever. So easy and useful as a character. She brings out the best in him (which is why I so desperately want to write a sequel to this about their relationship).
Exactly. She ain't no [non-12+ word]. He liiikes her.
THANK YOU, MY LOVELY
xx Report Review
You did so much in the short 500 words allotted. I could really feel Molly's pain at losing her son. I think the stream of consciousness worked really well here, and that's coming from someone who usually doesn't really like that style. It was simple and effective, and both the present tense and short sentences helped to deliver a sharp and powerful impact. I felt so sorry for her, because she shouldn't have to feel this pain but she has to find some way of overcoming it. Her guilt at smiling was the most powerful part of all, I think.
Great job :)
MarinaAuthor's Response: Wow, thank you so much.
I agree with you on the stream of consciousness; it's not normally a style that I like reading or writing. It's just how this piece came out, so I'm glad that you think it worked well.
Thank you so much!
Del<3 Report Review
Ooh this was interesting! The metaphors and figurative descriptions really brought a new dimension to Harry's character. I felt like some of the analogies you chose made everything a lot darker and more sinister. I have so many favourite lines from this, but here are a few:
he feels like a puppet prince, shoved on a pedestal and instructed to lead
That's so true of Harry. He never felt capable of doing what was expected of him, yet he did it anyway. He never wanted to be a leader or the Chosen One, he didn't feel ready for the responsibility yet no one else was there to step up and do the job themselves.
Azkaban is a festering wound, a slain beast with ulterior motives, a pathogen in the newly-born and glorified world where the equal revel, and the less equal are ingested and vomited into this pit of blackened life-preservation.
So wonderfully dark and horrific a description! It really creates an appropriate tone and atmosphere about Azkaban, a pretty horrible place by anyone's standards.
King Potter is here to lay down a flag of peace for the filthy, festering fallen. A shining jewel of a key, glinting in glory, is produced.
I like here how you've compared the relationship to Harry and Draco to a war - it's almost as though they'd reached a stalemate with neither of them wanting to surrender their pride and once again it's Harry who has the responsibility and he is the one who lays down the flag and offers a truce. He's rescued Draco again, I notice. But Harry was really never one to sort of go "it's your turn", was he?
I love the present tense usage. It makes all your lovely descriptions very powerful and immediate. I also like the fact you have no dialogue; I feel like that would have ruined the metaphor you'd built up by bringing it back down to the normal.
All in all, a great one-shot and you created so much atmosphere and story in so few words.
MarinaAuthor's Response: Yay, thank you so much! I do mourn JKR's lack of Harry-metaphors, and after reading so much about Azkaban recently, I ended up slotting them together almost accidentally :P I just like constructing them, adding more to Harry, because when we think about how much of his character was left to us to infer...
Poor Harry; I did so want to show how much he didn't want to lead, because he never wanted to and until the fifth book, he never really accepted it. He always just felt like he was an accident :(
Oooh that was one of my favourite gruesome descriptions, because there are just no words for how awful it must be, but I wanted to still try. I'm glad it puts across such a nasty atmosphere, since I did want to put across the contrasts!
Hehe yes! It's just always seemed that way to me, and while Draco won't ask for help, Harry knows he can't just leave his enemy rotting - he's a better person and they both know it, and won't do anything about it.
I'm glad it worked well, it just seemed too vague and useless, especially with dialogue! It needed to feel more like a dream, and in the present, that was the effect that I (hopefully) managed :D
Thank you so much for this wonderful review! :)
~Lottie Report Review
Naww this was so cute! I have to say fluff isn't the first thing I'd associate with Tobias and Eileen, I've read so many fics where they have an angsty, dark relationship, but this was so refreshingly different.
I loved his cynicism of magic, his lack of understanding of how it works. Of course it's going to be hard for him; he's grown up not even knowing it was possible and probably not even thinking about it. To try and make your every day life include magic is going to take a lot of work. He's quick to give up though and slightly bad tempered, which is sort of how I imagine him to be in my had. Of course Snape's father would be grumpy! Perfect!
Eileen's quip at the end was so cute. When in doubt, make tea, and when doubting magic, make tea magically.
This was so cute! Excellent one-shot :)
Marina Report Review
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