A very nice story! I love it :D Update soon!
10/10Author's Response: Wow, you read that fast! And more importantly, thank you very much! Report Review
A really nice story! Keep it up!Author's Response: Thanks! I will! lol. thank you for reading and Reviewing. :) Report Review
awww, it is very nicely written! It is...so beautiful! I love it!
Sorry about the late review...That's that happens when I don't check my challenge thread for too long. I'm Kelstar on the forums by the way :D
Keep up the good work!
-Kelly Report Review
i love it! Can't wait to read the next part :)Author's Response: Thanks, well I just posted the next part. :) Report Review
I love it! You got Harry and Draco in their characters really well :) I don't usually read slash, but this one is great! Keep the good work up.
~KellyAuthor's Response: Thank you! I love reviews that say, "I normally don't read slash, but ..." hehe. That must mean I did something right. :) Report Review
great job! Keep it up :)Author's Response: Yay! Thanks! Report Review
Love it! Great job, keep it up :)Author's Response: Thanks!
Thanks for reading and reviewing!!~Cady Report Review
Lovely story :) Update soon! Report Review
Very nicely written! I love it!Author's Response: Thanks! Report Review
Nice! I have never read a story with a plotline like this. Very original! Report Review
Very nice. You're a brilliant writer!Author's Response: Lol thank you so much... Report Review
Nice chapter :) Update soon!Author's Response: Thank you for the review! And I will as fast as I can! Report Review
Great chapter! Update soon!Author's Response: THANK YOU! This is the first review I've gotten from this story, I'm so excited about it, you'll love the next chapter believe me! I love it to death really omg! Exciting!!!! Report Review
Beautiful, absolutely beautiful! I love your language, your descriptions and your sentence structures. This is definitely a favourite!
~Kelly(Kelstar on the forums)Author's Response: *blushes* Thank you so much! Report Review
Oh, this is good! Definitely a favourite.Author's Response: Thanks, Enchantlize.
~Megan Report Review
Nice, update soon! Actually, I do not hate you, I loff you. Your story is brilliant!Author's Response: Thanks :D
And that's good, I was afraid everyone was going to hate me because I haven't updated any stories in forever, lolzz
Lovely story:) Update soon!Author's Response: i will try :)
This is brilliant Caroline! You're a fabulous writer. I love the plotline as well :) You're talented, I can't wait to see what you go with this story.
Sorry for the very late review.
Silver Slipper, 9/10
~KellyAuthor's Response: *runs back to forum to find out what a silver slipper is*
Haha, thanks! and the late review isn't a problem. Glad you liked it.
~ Caroline Report Review
Oh god...ok, maybe I should stop saying that. Alice and Sirius? Are you serious? o.0
Ok..Here comes the neat freak again.*flys from pinecone land*
'...Now where is Alice?'
I think it is supposed to be '...Now where was Alice?'
I know it sounds weird, but it isn't supposed to be in present tense.
I love this story! Keep it up!
~Kelly, 10/10Author's Response: ummm it kinda makes some since....
so I am writting as if I am Lily but I don't write in present tense, i write in past??
gah, I'll ask someone.....like my mom.
thanks for the review.
-- ashley Report Review
Oh, god...*chokes on water* Oh my gosh I actually find this story! I wanted to read this but I totally forgot the link and I couldn't find it in my favourites...Thanks so much for informing me!
I'm glad you didn't delete this story, it's really good.
Ok, first of all, your format of the story. I'm not sure if you understand me, but anyway.
1) Paragraph spacing.
I suggest, the next time you copy and paste the story in the 'Add new Chapter' page's story text box, you delete the line between each chapter. That's how I do it :) That happens with Word.
2) This is just a suggestion. You know how you use "" to quote the dialogues, and use '' to quote the thoughts? I suggestion you italic the thoughts in stead of using ''s. Because my eyes are just retiring. Many authors do it, don't take me seriously if you don't want to :P
Ok, maybe it is just me...Being a neat freak. Ah well, just ignore that if you want to, my brain isn't functioning well...I knew I shouldn't have that croissant.
This is going to be in-te-rest-ing. I can't wait to see how Lily reacts!
~Kelly, Silver Slipper, 9/10Author's Response: haha well I'm glad you found it.
I was wondering how you made it so it wasn't spaced out so huge!
I could also atart using the italics for thoughts if it makes it easier to read. ;)
Nah you're not a neat freak....just a neat obsessed person hahaha just kidding. :D
thanks for the reivew!
-- ashley Report Review
Hey, sorry for the late review:) May my apologies be send with the review.
omg I like Zach...He got straight on the point didn't he? Aww...I feel sorry for Blaise.
This is a great story, and I'm sorry I didn't review all the chapters. You should update soon, I'm looking forward to read the rest of the story.
Red Slipper, 9/10
Kelly.Author's Response: Yay red slipper, woot! =D
It's okay for the late review, better late than never =]
I'm glad you liked the story and i will update as soon as i can, i don't know how long it will take though.
Thanks so much for ther review! =D Report Review
This chapter is great.
May I suggest to put in a little bit more feelings in it? The lack of descriptions of Lily's feelings seemed to build a wall between the reader and the story itself. Maybe I shouldn't read Twilight over and over again...But that's just a suggestion.
Nice work, Red Slipper. 9/10
Kelly. Report Review
Hey Angel, sorry for the late review.
This is a very good start and I like it. Maybe you should add more descriptions to it but I like the way you used dialogue to make the plot move.
I like the conversation James and Lily had in the compartment...I swear I laughed for half a minute.
Anyway, you seemed to be swapping point of views, like in here:
'Alice smiled to herself when Lily left. Oh, she already knew who the Head Boy was. Frank told her two weeks ago. It would be fun to see Lily’s reaction.'
That is Alice's point of view, but before that, it was all Lily's, it is a bit strange but I knew what you're trying to do here. Maybe you can try 'Lily took one last glance at Alice before she left, and noticed a smile sly smirk on her face. She was hiding something from her.' That's just a rough draft, but I hope that gives you an idea of what I'm trying to say here.
Overall, this is a good start and I am looking forward to the next chapter.
Red Slipper, 9/10.
Lots of love,
Kelly Report Review
This is brilliant Sophie, and I mean it. It is well written and straight to the point. Good work.
~KellyAuthor's Response: Thank you so much! I'm glad you like it!
I'm sorry for the late review, but my tight schedule did not let me.
I like the way you put this story, and your characterisation is brilliant.
I can not say any more since the perfection of the story had eaten it all away.
nice work, 10/10, silver slipper.
Kelly/ Kelstar of the forumsAuthor's Response: No problem at least you found the time :) I shall cherish the silver slipper forever =D I'm glad you enjoyed it! Report Review
Terms of Service
categories & genres
short story collection