Reading Reviews From Member: Richter Vans
  
71 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Richter VansBetween Worlds: Pictures and Memories

10th February 2008:
Oh really?. XD-. You have seen the actual family tree? you describe the families connections very good, I'm too lazy to see if you are right though, XD. I have the family tree of how the Malfoys conect with the Blacks, some connections with the Prewts and the Weasleys. Longbottoms are pure bloods too. I think I've seen some conections too. I dont know. Anything is fine for me, XD.

WTF!! OMG!! Rita under the desk, hahaha, that was really funny, though I really concider that scene for over 18 only, since the validators didnt concider it that way, I guess we can guess she really droped her quill. XD.

Very good chappy, short though. >_

Author's Response: Sorry about taking a few days to respond on this...I had a very detailed responce that got wiped out by the website asking me to log in again :( so here is try number two.

Yes I've seen the Black family tree but I'm using it more as a guide then as a source of charactors. So Thank you on the connections, I pretty much invented them but I feel they are logical :) They also play a part in the storyline.

Since the Black family tree only shows other family lines as they directly relate to the Black family, family relationships between others would not actually show on the tree.

Yes the Prewets, Blacks, Weasleys, and Longbottoms are all pureblood families and I have been using a combination of the lexicon and my own imagination to supply additional pureblood families.

It seems to be a rather prevelent fandom based theory that Draco Malfoy is part Veela, since it went well with my long term plan for this story, I decided to embrace that heritage for the Malfoy family. We don't actually know how closely related Imogene Malfoy is to Lucius Malfoy. Since I created Imogene completely I could make her Draco's great-aunt but I think the relationship will be more distant.

As for Rita and the desk ;) I had a lot of fun with that scene also. The thing about ratings, at least for me, is you have to think in terms of movie ratings. I would put that scene at pg-13 actually ;)

For a kid the implication would go right over thier head, the youngster would think Rita just dropped her quill while the adults in the audience see the sneaky implication and create the dirty content entiirely in thier own minds.

I prefer to imply most such content and leave it up to the reader's imagination...I choose the 15+ rating for this story principally because of some of the violent content and the inadvertant cannibalism thing. It does give me the freedom to get more "descriptive" in a romantic scene later in the story if the right moment arrives though ;)

But yep Rita dropped her quill...or not. Its entirely up to you. And I'm very glad that the validators see it that way also. I was much more worried at them balking at Remus the werewolf eating human flesh actually.

Thank you again, and hope to see you on chapter 5 and beyond.


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Review #2, by Richter VansBetween Worlds: Bones for the Beast

10th February 2008:
Its really ok, I mean, he got close until it was safe, and being just a cub, it wastn all that dengerous. I see what you split this part of the story from the previous chapp, This is on a different point of view, which is really cool. gives a differnt sense of drama, I like it a lot.

I read your post on the forum, about obliviate Remus to forget he tasted human flesh, well. I dont think is really important, well, he is 5 years old after all. He wouldnt remember all that well. He might just think he dreamed about it.

Best regards.

Richter Vans.

Author's Response: Okay that is a vote for keeping the getting close in. So far I'm keeping it though some people think it should be changed...I can always edit latter.

I like exploring the nature of perception and the differences in how the wolf and John interpreted what was going on was something I really wanted to show. As you can see John does suceed in getting through to the wolf...to a point...but perhaps not as much as he thinks he did.

He may think he dreamed it...I've considered that...let me know after you read chapter five. Its the consequences of Remus forgetting what happend at the end of it I'm more concerned with. Its also a question of whether John would oblviate Remus after the soul searching he has done.



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Review #3, by Richter VansBetween Worlds: Desperate Measures

10th February 2008:
OMG, this is so well written, I just like it a lot. OoO. If you are not happy with this, then you will hate mine. XD. I write terrible. I have well structured plots, but I fail to redact the info, :P... I need an editor as good as you, XD.

I like every bit of it, and eager to read the rest.

You make the chapps too short though.

Its disgusting to feed your own child with a human arm. Remus father was a very brave man. OoO.

Author's Response: Thank you so much, it has had a couple of revisions and a beta reader or two..so I can't claim all the credit.

I can't really say about years till I see them...but I'll be happy to take a glance...in my almost non-existant spare time ;)

It sounds like you know your strengths and weakneses as a writer, and thats the first step. I'm not completely sure what you mean by redact nor whether I'd actually make a good editor but thanks for the vote of confidance :)

Sorry about the chapters being short its a combination of me having so little writing time and these actually being I guess being live action scenes I'm kinda watching behind my eyelids and trying to translate to paper. Usually when I end the scene I end the chapter although I do sometimes throw two scenes into a single chapter.


Besides the way I change viewpoint charactors thiroughout the story I find it easiest to do so at individual chapter breaks when possible.

Remus's father did what he had to do...I shudder and I wrote it.

Glad to have you as a long term reader :) although I did notice you ahve only reviewed chapters 1-4? Was five not working for some reason if you just haven't gotten to it...no biggie...I'll see ya when you get there.


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Review #4, by Richter VansBetween Worlds: Kidnapped

10th February 2008:
You are very hard on yourself, XD, the story is really cool. I like it, Its the first one I read about this period of time, I've read just another one where I see Fenrir, and It's very similar the personality.

The trasformation described is awesome.

One thing though. Did two Death eaters remain in the clearing flotting?

I though that Remus father was gonna plead, but he only kneel down right?...

I dont know about Amos Longbottom being the Prophets manager. You could use an OC for it better. BUt the job as a reporter is cool, doing a story about werewolfs, and getting in trouble for it, Its a nice plot.

I really liked your story. I will read it all.

Author's Response: I'm hard on myself because I want to write professionally and that means reaching the top caliber of fan fiction writing. It also means actually finishing a novel length story. Between Worlds is my test, if I can successfully start and finish a novel length fic that is good enough then maybe I'm ready to write for real ;)

I'm glad to hear both Fenrir and the transformation came across well...I worked hard on those aspects.

Yes two death eaters did remain floating, at least until after John used the Portkey.

John never saw when they left so its left up to the reader to decide just how long they decided to watch from a safe perch in the air ;)

John Lupin did plead although the words are never actually stated...just that he got down on his knees and began to plea. I left how far he is forced to go to the reader's imagination. Does greyback make hin repeat mocking words or is a simple "please" while kneeling in the snow with a stricken look upon his face enough?

Interestingly enough Amos Longbottom IS an OC. I made him up from start to finish, though obviously he is member of the Longbottom family. I wrote him as Frank Longbottom's Uncle before I really spent any time reading the family trees...since there is no uncle named Amos on them I will either have to be creative or I may let him fill the unnamed grandfather to Neville slot instead

I was searching for a profession for John and I kept rejecting ideas as to cliche..and then I was watching this NBC show called journeyman. The main charactor is a reporter who finds himself now also acting as an uncontrolled time traveler

Inspiration just kinda struck...Amos has a different personality but I kinda started seeing the actor who plays Hugh in the role of Amos and decided that John Lupin worked at the daily prophet.

BTW I didn't actually say the story he was working on was about werewolves ;)

Thank you though I'm glad you are enjpying the plot


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Review #5, by Richter VansMischief Managed: Mischief Managed

9th February 2008:
Oh god.. girl... You got the right ideas, but come on... I didn't like this chapp... too short. and look... The thing about the statue through the window, Is not impressive like that. It would have been perfect when Remus give them the back after he shouts all out that Sirius cracked in madness and throw the armor at him but James deflected in time, smashing out the window.(Just How I picture it).

And also the Mischief Managed thing, it was cool that Sirius come up with it doing a prank, but not like that. It should be a more spontaneous prank.

Author's Response: I know it's short, but I wanted there to be a bit of a cliffhanger between the final chapter and the one before. (Well, you know the friendship will mend, of course, but you don't know how).

I couldn't let Remus totally snap. That's not his style, at least I don't think so. I can see him getting angry and exploding at them, but not going totally off the deep end.

Maybe the prank could have been more 'spontaneous' but I was probably running out of ideas at that point.


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Review #6, by Richter VansMischief Managed: Severus Snape's Big Adventure

8th February 2008:
WHAT?? no suit of armor through the window? XD I was hoping to see that like Remus described ro Kerri on the other story, :P...

And other thing, the marauders worked on the Map since year three and developed through year 5. They already had it, and loose it on year 7. The passway though the dungeons down to Hogsmead is a good idea. Although risky, is near the Slytherin common room. If peter crawled back from Hogsmead it would be a good idea to rewrite that part on the past chapp, I didnt get it very good. But is ok.

One last thing, that would be very cool to add. As a writers tip, XD. When Dumbledore handed Wormtail back at remus and they where all going away. Dubledore says;

"Please, say hi to peter on my behalf," Or something like that. :p . Dumbledore has that strange sense about know it all. It would look cool, and funny.

Great chapp. The running with the armor scene was almost like watching an anime on my head. XD everyone running through the halls, and even lilly catching up with remus side, XD, I dont know why I picture her holding a book with both her hands pressed to her chest running. XD.

Author's Response: You're probably right about the map, but I didn't remember anyone ever saying when it was created. Oh well, it makes a fun story at least.

I couldn't have Dumbledore make a comment like that because he didn't know about the animagi thing until Siruis told him the whole story after he was re-arrested in Harry's third year. That part of the canon I'm sure of. But if he had known, he probably would have said something like that. I love Dumbledore.

And thank you -- I worked hard on that scene with the armor to make it as much a sensory experience as possible. I wanted readers to be able to hear the clanging metal as it was running up the stairs.

And yes -- you've noticed that some of these pranks are coming out of my novel. Good catch. I wish I was as observant as you.


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Review #7, by Richter VansMischief Managed: Peter Pettigrew's Big Adventure

8th February 2008:
This chap is funny. Although I would have placed it in a one shot apart from the story, XD. And just leave the tension about Sirius and Remus on the toilet.

Peter did went down to Hogmead? if so, its silly to think that the swears took him back up to the castle by just climbing up. :P... I didnt like that bit, but he probably was just in the grounds.

Great chapp.

Author's Response: Thanks again.

I wanted Peter to find a new way to sneak to Hogsmeade -- it's important for something that happens in the last chapter.


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Review #8, by Richter VansMischief Managed: Things go Down the Toilet

8th February 2008:
OMG!! hahaha, thats was just so friking funny!!; XD... you overpassed my holding capabilities, I nearly pee myself...

It was so funny imagine how they transformed horrible stuck in the middle, XD. and remus crying from laughter.

Good chapp, and the next about peter alone, XD, I must read that.

Author's Response: Glad you enjoyed it.

Well, the animagus transformation is supposed to be dangerous and closely monitored. It makes sense that some silly boys trying to do it illegally would have a lot of mishaps.

And yes, there's Remus right in the middle of it. I hate the way people try to present him as another Percy. I think he was probably the brains and conscience of the Marauders, but no way was he a 'good little boy'.


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Review #9, by Richter VansMischief Managed: Bubotuber Soap and Itching Powder Talc

8th February 2008:
For this second chapp I have a few critics. Some are related to canon aspects that you dont have to change if you dont want to, and others that just I didnt like, XD.

Like when they are on the practice pitch, you mention that sirius is flirting with the Three chasers. Now, its a good thing that Sirius is a cocky Casanova. I like that, But really... Three chasers? just like in Harrys era?. I didnt like that bit.

Another thing. When nick gives them the news about Slytherin getting a new Keeper. Well, i respect that severus is the new keeper, because he was arbiter in a match on Harry's era. But that nick overhear it from the bloody baron?. thats wrong isnt?. the bloody baron didnt talked to anyone, he was always too bizarre, though he wasnt really bad, Its just that no one wanted to ask him about him. Only the gray lady knew him. So I dont think that he would talk to anybody... even peeves was afraid of him... Nick could have overhear a group of slytherin's, XD. but as well, you dont have to change that.

OK, now, about the prefects that where all messed up in the prefects lavatory. You mentioned three, but according to canon, there are only two prefects per house, and is always a male and a female. So how is it posible that there where two female Hufflepuff prefects?, XD. there could be only two, :P...

I think thats all, I really enjoyed the chappter, XD, it was fun, James ans sirius always messing up stuff so casual., XD... You write very good and very funny. :P. The whole chapter was filled with events that are very interesting.

Author's Response: First off, thanks for reviewing.

About the chasers -- that's completely a coincidence. I didn't even think that there were the same number of female chasers in Harry's team. In reality there COULD have been in both -- life's random like that -- I guess my writing is too. You really pay close attention to the canon don't you? I think you probably know it better than I do.

About the Baron : The ghosts do talk to him on occasion, because they threaten to tell Peeves about him. I don't think he's that popular, but they don't ignore him completely.

About the prefects : I might have to check the lexicon to see which of us is right about this. Once you're made prefect, don't you stay prefect until you graduate? And each year, two more students are made prefect, so there would be at least six from each house at any given time. Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe they only serve for the period of a year. I'll have to look that one up.

Thanks for the review -- you're a good reader who seems to pay attention to detail. (Maybe more than I do).


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Review #10, by Richter VansMischief Managed: I Solemnly Swear That I Was Up to No Good

2nd February 2008:
Very good first chapter!!! Yeah!! It’s just what I wanted to read!! XD...

The amazing start of this story is so promising. I love the Peeves dialogs, so him. And filch and the new form for pooping in the library, XD...

The Marauders rescue was well planed and improvised. And the chat in Flitwick’s classroom making all bigger with such normality. XD. was so funny.

I love this sort of stories.

Best regards.

Richter Vans.

Author's Response: Thank you -- and it's all canon too, so that should make you happy.

So far, which do you think is better? This one, or "Remus's Secret"? That one was done way back in 2004 and this one was written just this year. Hopefully I've improved.


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Review #11, by Richter VansRunning With Wolves : The Journals and Correspondences of Cerridwyn Lupin (Year 1): Chapter 11

2nd February 2008:
I must say, I like the chapter... Your characters are very interesting, and I really want to keep on reading, to find out what happens next. But the idea of all being off canon is in some point, disappointing. I like fan fics, but not fan fics that actually have big disruption on the real Harry Potter story. Like you mentioned about putting her in classes with Harry. I don’t know...

And also, I don’t imagine Snape writing those letters. You manage very well al other characters. Just snape I must complain, the brother sister business is somewhat... I don’t know. XD. I just don’t like it...

I must say, that I like your story, I like the way you write, but the essence of it being so off canon is just a downfall for me, and I don’t see myself reading beyond year one... as you said you would.

Richter Vans.

Author's Response: I don't blame you in the slightest -- I hate non canon stories myself. I'm trying to keep the canon violations to a minimum. Mostly it's just the relationships Kerri has to Remus, Snape, and Voldemort. If you can get past that, I think it's an entertaining story.

I'll have her teaching at Hogwarts, but not teaching Harry. Hagrid will be a teacher by the time she gets there, so they'll split the students in half. Hagrid gets the Gryffindors and Slytherins, and Kerri gets the Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs.

I know, Snape is being extremely nice. I'm trying to bring out the other side of him here -- the part of him that no one else but Dumbledore sees. He really wasn't the awful person everyone thought he was, and that's what I want people to see. Trust me, later on when he finds out Kerri is seeing Remus (late year two) he and she will be at each other's throats for about one year straight.



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Review #12, by Richter VansRunning With Wolves : The Journals and Correspondences of Cerridwyn Lupin (Year 1): Chapter 10

2nd February 2008:
OK, in this last part of the chapter, you started to write about what’s she wrote in her diary one day, but then started to explain what happen the next day without change the date. Careful, this sort of writing is tricky.

The rest is just fine.

Richter Vans.

Author's Response: Thanks for catching it. Keeping track of dates is a real pain sometimes.

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Review #13, by Richter VansRunning With Wolves : The Journals and Correspondences of Cerridwyn Lupin (Year 1): Chapter 9

2nd February 2008:
One thing that I don’t really mind much, but you should try out. Hagrids letters written in Hagrid's way, XD, you know, with lots of grammar errors and such. :P...

This chapp is good, but feels like a filling one. There’s not much actions in it, juts the Lockhart incidents, XD.

Richter vans.

Author's Response: Well, Lockhart is actually going to become very important later on. I just wrote a chapter where Kerri's band -mates slip him some veritaserum and he opens his mouth and tells a lot of stuff about himself that he shouldn't. He's in the progress of writing "Wanders With Werewolves" and they decide that the information he spills might be used to discredit him if the werewolves start being harassed once the book is published. Besides being comic relief, I also plan to use him to bring Kerri and Remus together.

And about Hagrid's letters, I know I could probably do better. I think right now that they sound like him in the way he speaks, but that the writing doesn't really look like his. His spelling wouldn't be that good.

Thanks for reviewing !


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Review #14, by Richter VansRunning With Wolves : The Journals and Correspondences of Cerridwyn Lupin (Year 1): Chapter 8

2nd February 2008:
Ok, this chapter has an issue, is missing spaces between the texts and dialogs. You should update ASAP.

It was very interesting, one of my characters will start a band in Hogwarts, Is muggle born so he introduces Muggle instruments. Alan Parson, XD.

I like the humor you managed; it’s subtle and right for the characters.

But I exhort you to reconsider going Canon, XD. It’s just that the story is so well written that I would like to consider it canon. Y___Y... And well, I don’t know, I guess is hard to make that suggestion, but as your only reader, XD I really think it would be for the best. :P... That way No one beside those characters knows Kerri. And is of no big importance for the books. And she could teach at Hogwarts after the 7th book, so she isn’t mentioned in the previous books.

You could write a one shot about her in the war, OoO!!...

I don’t know, I guess I just get exited trying to make all fit into canon, XD. But is your decision.

Best regards.

Richter Vans.

Author's Response: Did one of those get through with the missing spaces? I hate when that happens. One of my Marauder stories was like that and I had to go back and fix the whole thing. Thanks for letting me know.

I consider it a great compliment that you like this story enough to wish it was canon. This is just how I've always envisioned the story, and it has been in my head for several years now. I knew how I wanted to end the series before Rowling wrote her ending. I'm going to stick with it as much as I can, except for a few obvious places.

I want her to teach at Hogwarts from years 3-6. I want her placed there to take part in some of the events to come. During the seventh year, I plan to have her resign from Hogwarts and openly declare war on Voldemort's followers. Right now, I picture her as uniting some of the more decent werewolves and using the commune as a base. I have pretty huge plans for this story which will eventually have six sequels, one for each year that follows.


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Review #15, by Richter VansRunning With Wolves : The Journals and Correspondences of Cerridwyn Lupin (Year 1): Chapter 7

2nd February 2008:
Wow, just when I started to get bored the story gives a big upheld of excitement, XD, It was impressive the Crowdie room, XD, I could picture everything very good!! Fenrir was a relieve in that moment, And I would have him on my side for the time being. XD.

And the stuff about Quirrel. Ingenious. You give a completely perspective on why did Quirrel went bad, and I would love to see you write a one-shot about it.

Quirrel might have discovered that Kerri was Voldemorts daughter and went to look for him, In a strange sick way to prove his love to her, XD. Just a theory. :P...

Author's Response: You should see the part I'm writing right now. Kerri has gone back to Hogwarts to visit with Quirrel and is totally creeped out by him.

I think Quirrel's main thing is that he's been good all his life, helped out other people, and been under appreciated for it. If he helps Voldemort return to power, he can be the part of something huge and no one will dare to pick at him anymore. He's just sick of being good and quiet, and taken for granted.

He does genuinely like Kerri though, and eventually he starts trying to recruit her.

And you were getting bored? Which part bored you? I'm not offended -- I appreciate the criticism. It would be helpful to know which part you thought was boring.


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Review #16, by Richter VansRunning With Wolves : The Journals and Correspondences of Cerridwyn Lupin (Year 1): Chapter 6

1st February 2008:
Good chapter, I liked to know about the work they do in there, is interesting, XD, But Fenrir working there? OoO.. That was a shoker!! XD, and I dont think that Lupin knew about Fenrir was his attacker or did he? How can he do nothing, XD.

The restrictions about warewolfs and other half breeds is interesting, I always though about them.

The house and the room you describe is too small, but is ok, BUT!! they are witches for the love of merlin... Tonks would have bewitched the room to make it bigger in no time. :P...

Kerri didnt used her car in this chapp, She could have give a lift to Remus in furter chapps I hope, XD.

Author's Response: Yes --- Fenrir is there. And yes, according to canon, Remus did know Fenrir was his attacker. Now he's sort of stuck there having to deal with him every day.

Fenrir isn't as crazy now as he will be a few years from now, but he's getting there. Kerri doesn't respect him as much as she should because she hasn't seen him in action yet. Eventually, she will, but probably not until next year.

I suppose they could make the place bigger,but as an author, you have to limit your use of magic somewhere.

Eventually she and Remus will use that car to take a job together in the Muggle world and make a bit more money.Eventually, Kerri is going to gradually begin encouraging the werewolves to start working Muggle jobs so they can make better money. The job she eventually gets with Remus will be the start of that.

Thanks for reviewing !


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Review #17, by Richter VansRunning With Wolves : The Journals and Correspondences of Cerridwyn Lupin (Year 1): Chapter 5

1st February 2008:
Oh next chappter will be interesting. XD. The next chapter preview is very cool, and not too many autors do that.

The car stuff is so funny, XD. I can picture all the scenes very easily, XD, Mr. Weasley is so funny character, and you exploited his personality very good. But one thing though. The flying gear is in the gears stick. Like 1, 2, 3, 4, R, and I guess F for flying, and up and down. XD. The button in the radio was I think the optical charm to become invisible. XD.

Just what is described in the movie though, I dont remember the scene from the book, and now, I think I want to research it.

Richter vans.

Author's Response: That's a good point...I'm not sure I remember either come to think about it. I know for certain that the invisibility booster is a button on the dashboard though.

Poor Kerri is going to be feeling very guilty for helping Mr. Weasley with that car next year when Ron and Harry crash it.


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Review #18, by Richter VansRunning With Wolves : The Journals and Correspondences of Cerridwyn Lupin (Year 1): Chapter 4

1st February 2008:
The story is interesting, I never read off canon stories, but this has cought my eye. :p... I want to read the other story of yours. The one about Remus. XD... But I'll finish this as I promised.

I want to hear more about the university, XD.

I dont think Azkaban is near London. OoO?? its never been mentioned in the books I guess...

The ends is sort of painfull, Y___Y, either Kerri or Charlie have any money to spend, I dont think Tonks would put them through such tedius situation...

Author's Response: The university isn't necessarily in London. I suppose it could be, but I've never actually stated it's location. I put Kerri's home not too far from Azkaban for a reason though.

Tonks is well meaning, but somewhat naive at this age. She's a bit of a party girl, but she begins to mature a bit as she hangs around Kerri and the werewolves she befriends and sees the harsher side of life.


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Review #19, by Richter VansRunning With Wolves : The Journals and Correspondences of Cerridwyn Lupin (Year 1): Chapter 3

31st January 2008:
OMG!! I must keep op reading. Its interesting.

You dont have much grammar errors or other issues on why I wont enjoy the story. Its actually very good. But I will stop. XD. I will read some other stories from different autors.

But I will continue with this one later. I want to read about all the autors in the forum. You are very good. lots better than me actually.

Author's Response: Thank you so much -- you have no idea what it means to me. I've been posting this since August and only had one review up until now. I was beginning to wonder if it was so horrible that no one could think of anything nice to say about it.

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Review #20, by Richter VansRunning With Wolves : The Journals and Correspondences of Cerridwyn Lupin (Year 1): Chapter 2

31st January 2008:
Theres a big issue, read this chapter and you will see. Its double posted!! I though it was a very long chapter but no. The text is duplicated.

I Loved the Idiot part, XD. But how old is Kerri? I cant figure that out with the date. Y__Y.

I'll keep on reading...

Author's Response: Kerri is nineteen years old.

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Review #21, by Richter VansRunning With Wolves : The Journals and Correspondences of Cerridwyn Lupin (Year 1): Chapter 1

31st January 2008:
Its interesting non canon story, XD... So no Tonks, and no Teddy Lupin... You write this before reading the 6th and 7th book?

Its interesting, how the dark lord did that. But I didnt get how is it that Snape is his half brother? by blood? Is he son of Voldemort too?? I didnt get it. XD. I'll keep on reading.

10/10 for the original plot.

Author's Response: Snape and Kerri are Voldemort's children, but they have different mothers.

Tonks has a major role in the story -- she ends up becoming Kerri's best friend. But no, I'm not putting her with Remus. To me, that relationship was just weird. They didn't seem right to me. I'm going to pair her with another werewolf though, one I think she's more compatible with.

I began writing this story after DH came out, but it was in my head ever since....Order of the Phoenix probably. For years at any rate. I didn't want to write it, because I didn't approve of violating canon, but it was driving me crazy, so here it is.

And thank you for calling it original. I know it has some elements that are considered cliche, such as Voldemort having children. I've always hoped that I was presenting it uniquely and giving it a special twist that hasn't been done before.


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Review #22, by Richter VansRemus's Secret: Chapter 4

30th January 2008:
haha, I enjoyed the fiction very much. Its the first one like this one that i've read. I read other marauders fics, but always when they already where animagi and stuff.

very good, and you write very good. If this was from a few years ago, then your new stories must be great.

Author's Response: Thank you -- I'm glad you enjoyed it.

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Review #23, by Richter VansRemus's Secret: Chapter 3

30th January 2008:
Ok, so they actually did complete the animagi on their third year, but I always guessed that they research for it a lot. Like from year two or so. I dont think that they took actually three years to figure out Remus sudently trips to see her mother. XD. They probably knew from year one, but couldnt do nothinga bout it. Until year three when they managed to become animagi. But thats just my point of view.

Love the action bit! XD. it was great. And there are some minor grammar errors. :P. 10/10~~

Author's Response: According to book three, they actually mastered the transformations in their fifth year, but Remus says that it took them "the better part of three years to work out how to do it".

And I think you're right that they noticed he was disappearing frequently early on, but it just took them a while to figure out why.

I'll completely take your word about the grammar errors. It was years ago that I wrote this and hopefully I've gotten better by now. Still, I'm glad that you enjoyed it. Thanks for reviewing.


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Review #24, by Richter VansRemus's Secret: Chapter 2

30th January 2008:
Great chapter, I like the prank, although it was very, very destructive, XD, Its a good story on how peters is starting to get involved in the Group.

I want to keep reading, but I have to sleep now, XD. I'll read some more tomorrow morning at work. :p...

Author's Response: I know the prank is a bit over the top. This started out as strictly a humor story with absolutely no point. Then, as I wrote it, it began to be about the friendship and how Peter fit in.

My other Marauder story is written in the same style, only the focus there is how Remus had to learn to balance his new responsibilities as a prefect with his friendship with his prank loving buddies.

Thanks so much for taking the time to read and review.


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Review #25, by Richter VansRemus's Secret: Remus's Secret

30th January 2008:
"Look." growled Snape "He is a Marauder. Run him down and you run me and James down. If you don't like him then quit tagging after us."

I think you wanted to say that Sirius! growled right?...

Wow, the story is great, I havent read one like this so far. Its very interesting and well writed. I like how Peter wants to become a marauder, and how even then, he would go and talk on peoples back for his own benefit, as he did went he sought Voldemort, XD.

Was Dumbledore headmaster already?... Im not quite sure about that.

This is their second year? First?...

James liked Lilly from year one?. I think they bothered eachother too much, and then James started to like her. But at first they hated the guts out of eachother. Xd...

Great story, i'll keep on reading now.

Richter Vans.

Author's Response: Yes, you're right. But trust me, there were a lot more and a lot worse mistakes originally. I wrote his way back in 2004 and only recently fixed it up a bit. I'll have to go back later and catch that.

Yes, I believe Dumbledore was headmaster, but I could be wrong. In the third book Remus talks about how he never expected he'd be able to go to Hogwarts until Dumbledore became headmaster and arranged things for him.

This is the third year. Eventually I plan to write one for each year. "Mischief Managed" takes place in the third, and the one I'm working on now takes place in the first.

Probably you're right about James and Lily, but I guess I'm a romantic. I kind of like to think that it was love at first sight for one of them. On the other hand, I really try to keep girls out of these stories for the most part. I prefer to keep them simple little stories about four buddies.


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