Nice story you've got here. I really enjoyed the fact that you had Petunia watch Harry and Ginny for a while. I also really liked how you had Petunia feel she was looking at a pair of ghosts before she realized it wasn't her sister and brother-in-law but Harry and Ginny. Nice way to tie in what Jo said about Dudley and Harry exchanging the occasional holiday and birthday card at the end. Nicely done, Cheers!
--Mac

Author's Response: Thank you VERY much!

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Aww, that was so cute! Little Lily seems like a handful but a cute and energetic one. I laughed so hard when she said what she wanted to be and why. Really clever of you to come up with that. ;) You've portrayed her so well I wanna climb into the story and give her a hug! Really good one-shot. 10/10 Cheers!
--Mac

Author's Response: Now that I look back, Lily reminds me so much of myself. I'm so glad that you enjoyed this!

Thanks for the awesome review!

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Scorpia710,
Really entertaining story. It's always fascinating to venture into Snape's mind and ponder a few of the what if's. I often find myself wonder what if Snape had seen more of the tortured Harry than seeing him as James. You've explored the thought wonderfully. I definitely laughed aloud a few times. I like how you have Snape's thoughts being greasy but caring at the same time.
I did catch a missing letter in the sentence "I'll make a note to ask him, Potter," you have 'not' instead of 'note'. You should always have a comma before and after addressing someone directly mid-sentence as well.
Overall great read! :)
--Mac

Author's Response: Wow, thank you very for the brilliant review! I appreciate the notes and that you pointed out that error, ^_^
I'll fix it, thanks again!

P.S. My initials are MAC, lol.


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Oh goodness, LOL, this was a very original story I thought. Slightly AU but very funny. I couldn't stop laughing, especially laughing!Snape. Nicely done!
--Mac
P.S. Nice disclaimer! ;)

Author's Response: Haha! Cheers! :) I'm glad you enjoyed my extreme humour.

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This is really good for a first fanfic! The storyline is creatively character driven and your style has a nice flow to it. Nicely done, cheers!
--Mac

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I sometimes worry that my stories are too character driven, but it's nice to hear that the plot does keep flowing. Thanks for reading.

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This story was so sweet and really rather bittersweet. It's a shame that Ginny will never be able to really know her in-laws but at least she's found some way to make a connection to them. I liked seeing Harry as a father, you wrote it so it suits him well. Really nice job!
--Mac

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I really like what you have written here. Ginny's 'voice' comes out, for the most part, canon and sometimes rather comical. I'd like to see where you'd take this sory in further chapters if you choose to continue it. Well done!
--Mac

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I love everything about this one-shot! Your characterizations were spot on, just perfect, it's nice and fluffy, it shows hope and happiness for the future, it carries all the feelings within it that the holidays should. I would enjoy it very much to see how the Christams went at the Burrow. Really wonderful job!
--Mac

Author's Response: Wow! Thanks so much, I love that you love it! I'm always afraid I'll mess up someone's character, so I'm so pleased you found them to be true. XD. Thanks for reviewing, I really appreciate it!

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DukeBrymin,
This was a nice and fluffy one-shot. I enjoyed the way it played out though Ginny's point of view. There was a bit of detail that I was thankful that you added, when you were mentioning how Harry had changed upon returning to the Burrow, you wrote that Previously Harry had been standoffish when it came to showing and accepting signs of affection. It is hard to get used to that for someone that's been deprived of it and I thought of most of all you wrote that was more real than anything. It's a small detail that some writers tend to forget about Harry so thank you very much for adding it.
Overall this story was good, the AU part where Ginny and Harry got together at the beginning of the year just reminds me what Harry said in HBP that "we could have months, years even" if he'd noticed her sooner. Your story really brings out that aspect of what could that year have been like if it happened your way. Good job!
--Mac

Author's Response: Thanks for your comments, I enjoyed reading them. I'm trying hard to make Harry's progression from angst!OrderOfThePhoenix!Harry to the Harry he'll be at the end of my sixth-year story, of which Like a Queen is a part, so it's nice to know that you think I'm doing all right.

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MegElemental,
I couldn't resist reading your story when I saw what song you used! You did a wonderful job on this songfic. The thing about Mamma Mia that is tricky is the give and take of positive an negative emotions and you have captured that brilliantly through Ginny. Cheers!
--Mac

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I was looking for a light-hearted story with a happy ending. I definitely found exactly that in your story. Just the right touch of fluff. :) You did have a few word switches that, while adding a different kind of humour, I don't think was intended. You wrote 'steak' instead of 'stake' and 'choirs' instead of 'chores', ah homophones are a tricky thing. ;) Overall good job. Killer ending, simply the best!
--Mac

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TDP/Marianne,
Dealing with grieving, depression any of the really hard emotions is definitely tough. I too have found writing to be a good outlet to help me deal. This story that you have written is very lovely. It gives hope too, that eventually we can all find our way back to living. for having written this in a half-hour you did quite well. There are a few words that you skipped over, misplaced or misused but nothing too draastic that the reader couldn't figure out what you meant. A quick read through would help you find them. Really nice job on portraying the emotions and the feelings of utter despair and finding the way back to happiness again. Wonderful job overall!
--Mac

Author's Response: Thank you ! :) I tried to get the emotions right, but sometimes I get confused and bogged down when I'm just spontaneously writing off the top of my head, so words get missed out/ mispelled/ altered etc. :D lol

It could probably do with a read through...

Thanks again for your review :)

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Your write beautifully. Your insight of feelings is wonderful. I really enjoyed this story and how you worked out this connection between Harry, Ginny and Riddle. Very well done!
--Mac

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seshhat,
I found your story by hitting the random button on the read a story link and I am incredibly happy the search found this story. It is truly lovely and insightful. The feelings are so real and true to what was happening at that time one can almost believe that this was the way it was supposed to be. The flying at night being caressed by the wind and the stars, so bittersweet and free at the same time. The characters were written beautifully and the emotions were spot-on. I really enjoyed the shifting from serious to humorous to strong seriousness then back to humour and fluff. The reader never got too weighed down with the anguish and angst because the characters wouldn't let each other get fully enveloped in their pain, they helped each other out. Wonderful job! 10/10!
--Mac

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lene,
You've got a nice idea for a one-shot/song-fic here. The basic plot is emotionally driven, and rightly so given the song choice. It's also a very good song choice, I have it in my favourites on my ipod. :) Some pointers, and this is strictly constructional critisism for you do to with as you will, read through your work before you post. Sometimes our thoughts are flowing faster than our fingers can type and we don't notice typos. Also, when someone new starts speaking it starts a new paragraph to ease confusion from one speaker to another. Something to watch, and on occasion I make the same mistake, watch your word tense, (past/present/future). ex: "Why did he left?" should be "Why did he [leave]?" Overall you did well. Your strong point is definitely your ability to bring out the emotions behind the story, keep going with that aspect and keep writing. Well done!

--Mac

Author's Response: Thank you so much for reading and leaving a review! I really appreciate your comment and I'm definitely going to work on my grammar and I will start a new paragraph when someone else is speaking. I'm really glad you liked the story and I hope you'll read other stories I post. Of course I'll first read them through ;) Thanks for responding!

Lene

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Tom,
Your writing improves with every chapter. The emotions in this one were very powerful. It hurts to see the Potter cottage in such a state but I am glad that Harry and Ginny went to see his parents. It was very fitting and extremely touching. Nearly moved me to tears.

Malfoy is a piece of work isn't he? While I can appreciate the fact that he was giving Harry a heads up about Vengeance, albeit a bit late, he did tell him. Draco will always be for himself, that will certainly never change, but at least he is a bit more humble. For once he actually has to earn what he wants out of life. Rather good change of pace for him, I think, but he's still Malfoy. I will never really think kindly of him, as I'm sure neither will Harry or Ginny.

Teddy is a blessing in Harry's life isn't he? I remember being in a really depressed mood about the troubles in my life once, crying quite unashamedly, when my infant niece crawled up to me and started babbling and cooing. She was trying to get my attention, too young to notice my emotional state and she got my attention, cheered me right up. She was always a ray of sunshine at that age, the same age Teddy was in this chapter. I think in that way Teddy is wonderful for Harry and Ginny too. Thank goodness Teddy has them as well.

The bureau has me intrigued. What sort of magical properties/connections does it have? I know you won't answer, I'm just pondering aloud. ;) The coat of arms was pretty neat as well, with the changing monograms. I thought it was a nice twist to learn that Harry had technically already met Ron and Ginny when they were little. Another fine chapter.

--Mac

Author's Response: Hi Mac
Many thanks once again, one of the reasons I believe my writing improved is because af the hints many reviewers gave me, it's one reason I value them so much.
This was one of my favourite chapters because it was such a challenge to write. Getting the emotion right was dificult and balancing the discoveries with it harder still, it would have been so easy to go OTT with both.
Malfoy is Malfoy, well perhaps nurture is ruling nature perhaps it isn't.
Yes little ones are a breath of fresh air aren't they and Teddy is no diferent. They do each other good for sure.
nothing wrong with a good ponder mac. The monograms and Arthurs story were just too good to resist.
Look forward to seeing what you think of the next chapters too.
take care.
Tom

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Tom,
That was a really enjoyable chapter. The festivity was great and the light atmosphere came at just the right point in the story. I think Hermione teaching the students about Guy Fawkes and Bonfire Night was a brilliant idea. It was nice to have everyone truly enjoy themselves for all the celebrations and we technically haven't even reached Christmas day and New Years. I loved all the decorations in the house.

There was one thing that caught my attention in one of the passages during the Bonfire night celebrations. You had written that Harry and Hermione were going to light the fireworks, then when they set the fireworks off it was Harry and Ginny and then when they returned to the party it was back to Harry and Hermione. Just thought I would point that out. The other thing I wanted to mention is the way you use the word 'sat'. Occasionally you have something like (not a quote just an example) 'Ginny was sat at the table' which I suppose is acceptable but sometimes the words flow better if you write it as 'Ginny was sitting at the table.' I think you used the word 'stood' in this way too. "The group of about twenty singers were stood, holding traditional lanterns on poles, outside the house next door." Where as it could be: "The group of about twenty singers were standing, holding traditional lanterns on poles, outside the house next door."

I was curious, what happened to Neville's Gran that put her in St. Mungo's? Hermione getting anxious waiting to hear what the test results were was spot-on character for her. I do find it rather odd that all sets of twins have chosen to stay at Hogwarts over the holiday. Hmm, I must ponder that one.

Good job on this one! Sorry about the long-winded review. :)

--Mac

Author's Response: Hi Mac, Ginny Hermione problem noted for editing, many thanks for spotting that one. As for the Sat sitting, stood standing, both are correct usage but I see what you mean, in fact until I checked up on it I hadn't realised that the usage of these words varies quite a lot region by region in the UK, you learn something new every day.:-).
Yes it was a lot of celebrating in this one, a few of the smaller festivals, including Guy Fawkes was a bit of fun to show post battle evolvement of muggle studies in a way.
What's up with Nevilles gran? Old age essentially I think, but you never know, the sequel to this is a work in progress after all. It could re occur.
Glad you liked it and Thanks again for reviewing, I do appreciate it.
all the best.
Tom

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Oh this was so funny! I love all the different children's theories. I really enjoyed the last bit with, "Daddy, where's your sting?" and Bill and Victoire's reaction to the question. My only complaint is that I wish you had shown Harry's and Ron's reactions to their children asking a similar question. Really good job on this one-shot. It's such a light and enjoyable plot I wish there was more. :)
--Mac

Author's Response: Thank you so much for your review and I appreciate that you liked my story!

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Very nice one-shot. You had me from the first line. I love how you give incredibly poetic details of the surroundings and your explanations of what the characters are doing is wonderfully detailed and descriptive. The basic plot behind this story is lovely as well. Harry and Ginny's love is a strong and binding one, outlasting youth, but it is only natural for certain insecurities to creep up. I love the way Harry waylayed Ginny's concerns. Very eloquent and touching. Very well done!
--Mac

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I am overwhelmed!

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Tom,
Another swell chapter. A lot of woolgathering and investigative work on Harry and Ginny's part in this chapter. I really enjoyed some of your descriptions of the inner workings of the different departments. Specifically I enjoyed the group in charge of the Hogwart's Express. I liked how you mentioned how the muggles sometimes thought they saw a ghost train. I also really liked how you explained the Floo network. When you were explaining the Floo connections for Floo-to-Floo conversations I was reminded of the old phone operating systems. I could just picture the female operator plugging in the different wires and saying, "here's your party." Really random, sorry about that, but that's what I saw. :) Poor Kingsley, thank goodness Ginny persuaded him (ordered him) to take a rest. He certainly needed it. The beginning of this chapter certainly does make one ponder the possibilities. Well done!
--Mac

Author's Response: Hi Mac,
Glad you liked it, yes the floo is like that isn't it. :-)
Yes Kingsley was suffering, a bit like Harry taking everything on himself until shown it needn't be so. Ginny? what can I say, she's her mothers daughter. But yes it's not all light is it.

Thanks for your continuing reviews hopefully see you again soon.
Tom

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Tom,
Not much to say on this one other than to say it was a really good chapter. The action sequences were easy to follow. I think any Hufflepuff/Sue would be thrilled to hear Harry say he would reward Kreacher with a bed. Really good idea.
--Mac

Author's Response: Thanks Mac it the reward seemed appropriate. Glad you enjoyed the chapter, look forward to reading what you think of the rest, take care.
Tom

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Tom,
I really liked the speech you had Harry give his seventh years about choosing what to believe in wisely based on facts and evidence they find themselves and not because someone told them they should believe it. It reminds me of something my dad always says: Opinions are like ***holes everyone's got one. Your way is definiely more eloquent but it does raise the issue, so many young people believe something is so because someones tells them it is. They are like sheep, afraid to question anything. Anyway, really liked that bit.
Something constructive: Watch your usage of the words 'to' where sometimes it should be 'too' and 'their' when it should be 'there'. Spellcheck doesn't pick that up. Keep up the great writing!
--Mac

Author's Response: Hi Mac,
Yes it's a lesson not easily learnt by some, I actually based it on a principal of Archaeology that many trainees found dificult to apply outside the field.
Others mentioned the to, too, two thing whilst I was posting this so I hope I sorted it as chapters went up. same with the there, their thing. Thanks for the heads up anyway I do appreciate it.
Glad you are still enjoying it and many thanks for your continued reviews.

Tom

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Tom,
I really enjoyed this chapter. It was fascinating to learn about Whitby (I even did a little of my own research after reading). Very cool, wish I could visit a place like that. Hmm, so the plot thickens, the twins are watching and the ghosts have an agenda. Wonder what it is that they need done? Very lovely descriptons of Whitby, like I said. Well done,
--Mac

Author's Response: Glad you liked my descriptions of Whitby and that you were inspired to do some research of your own. One day you might be able to visit the town, you never know. We live fairly close so go regularly, in fact we are going by steam train in a couple of months via one of the locations used in the first two movies (Goathland aka Hogsmeade).
Some twins were watching yes but are they the sinister ones? You don't really expect me to say do you? :-)
Same with the ghosts i'm afraid.
Sorry but you will have to wait and see.
Thanks once again, I do appreciate your comments, it is a real compliment that you used this to find out more about Whitby, thank you.
Tom.

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Really good chapter, told you I loved the fluffy stuff. I love the ring, it's perfect! Good on Ginny, Harry and Molly for standing up to Muriel, sinister old biddy.

Author's Response: Hi again Mac,
I can see you like fluffy stuff, but you are nearing the chapter when it gets quite dark, I only feel it's fair to warn you.
There is more to Muriel than meets the eye, like many very old Ladies (sorry but I have found it to be true) she likes to be in control and center of attention to mask the effects of age. She will surprise you yet (I hope).
Even so it took guts to stand up to her.
Glad you are still enjoing it.
Tom

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Tom,
It's nice to see Florean is okay. Jo had said she had originally had a side story for him that she had scrapped and I was always curious to find out what happened to him. Of course when the ice cream shop comes into play I usually start craving ice cream. :) Oh, goodness what was Molly thinking? Pink? Honestly it would so clash with Ginny's hair! ;) Guess it's not easy letting your only daughter and youngest child go. Andromeda is a sweet lady. I like how you've included her in this story the way you have. The miniature wand is a perfect gift for Teddy.
--Mac

Author's Response: hi Mac
You are getting through the story well. I always liked florean and wondered what had happened to him. I couldn't bare to think he had died and JKR left it enigmatic enough to leave the possibility that he had gone into hiding so I grabbed the possiblility with both hands. I know what you mean about his icecreams I am left wanting one of his creations too.
Molly is getting over enthusiastic about the wedding and wants a fairy tale one for her daughter, but oh boy. At least her heart is in the right place, despite her wanting to be in control. I developed Andromeda from what little JKR gave us, she can be firm when she wants to be (she was a black after all) but she is lovely isn't she.
Thanks for continuing to review each chapter, if you have anything you want to ask me specifically don't forget my Author page on the site forum, (you can owl me there too).
I am Pleased you are still enjoying it.
take care.
Tom

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