Reading Reviews From Member: SilverThimble
195 Reviews Found

Review #1, by SilverThimbleColour My World: 3. Teddy

9th October 2008:
I didn't enjoy the chapter quite so much. You set up a nice cliffhanger in the last chapter, but it fizzled out a bit what with the flashbacks and change of PoV. I'm guilty of using both those things, but I think for the most part you should have used straight forward narration.
I'll favourite this and try to keep reading - the standard of writing is well above most stories on the archive - apart from length! I like my chapters long ;)
Great job overall, keep it up xD

Author's Response: thank you so much!

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Review #2, by SilverThimbleColour My World: 2. Victoire

9th October 2008:
Great chapter, again.
I love your characterisation of Victoire - she's not as vain as so many other people write her, and I liked the touch of the red lipstick, it was a very human detail.
I liked how you led up to the 'reveal', and her thoughts at the start. Their relationship seems to be very realistic too, there's definite 'chemistry' already ;)
No real criticism for this chapter, although I would prefer if it was a bit longer.

Author's Response: thank you so much!

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Review #3, by SilverThimbleColour My World: 1. Prologue

9th October 2008:
This was really very good, and a great first chapter. I love your style of writing - it's very simple but enjoyable. Dialogue is defintely a strong point of yours, it felt so real. I also liked your characterisation and the interaction between the characters was brilliantly done - Ginny's dislike of Fleur was especially well shown. Victoire and Teddy were so sweet ^^
I did think you used adverbs a little too much (although, again, your writng is generally excellent) and there could have been more specifics, to lengthen out the chapter and to give a greater sense of time and place.
Reading the next chapter stright away :)

Author's Response: thank you so much!

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Review #4, by SilverThimbleOf Murder, She Reported: A New Case

8th October 2008:
This was very good :)
Romilda is quirky (like you said) in the best possible way - I loved the part at the start where she's listing the different jobs she wanted. The first sentence really drew me in with the chatty style and directness, and the rest of the chapter was enjoyable. The beauty of it was that the reader gets to see what sort of a person she is, without long winded descriptions - you let her do the talking.
but I digress: Ok, I just love that phrase. Bonus points!
I didn't like the narrative part so much, but it was good as well. I think you could have gone into a bit more detail, especially as Romy knew Hannah - wouldn't she have been more shocked at first?
I do think your dialogue could do with some work - it's hard to define, but it was a little 'loose' or something.
Great work on this, though :)

Author's Response: Thank you so much! You liked the jobs part? Thank god, I was so worried about that bit. I was worried it was too chatty, you know what I mean? But thank you! I was hoping that that way would work, and apparently it did. ^_^
And yay! Bonus points!
Hmm, I see what you're saying, but I was trying to convey that Romy didn't actually know Hannah, but that everyone just assumed she did. But I get what you mean - I'll add in some more emotion ASAP.
And you're right. Dialogue + Me = awful. -blush-

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Review #5, by SilverThimbleGhost: Ghost

8th October 2008:
I loved this, surprisingly. I think I've just been converted to Sirius/Lily :) Beautiful, beautiful writing. There was quite a lot of description, but I was drawn in rather than turned off by it - I think because it was all used for atmosphere, not just for the sake of describing something. The tone of the conversation between Sirius and Lily was just perfect, and I loved how you led into his remembering her name with the "french flowers". This somehow managed to be angsty but not depressing, and very enjoyable :D

Author's Response: o_O Converted? By this story? Wow! It wasn't supposed to be a Sirily story when I first started writing, but it randomly became one - bad influences from those friends of mine who love the ship. :P But it's really amazing that this story made you like the ship - being an un-canon ship, it's very easy to become turned off it, especially since it involves Lily and Sirius betraying James by being together.

Thank you very much for this review! It's wonderful that you enjoyed the story! ^_^

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Review #6, by SilverThimble:

13th June 2008:
hello :) I'm so sorry this review has taken so long... a month at this stage :/ Anyway, I'm here now. Even though it has nothing to o with the story, I love your banner :)

Hate to dive right in with the criticism, but your first paragraph wasn't very clear. You used a lot of pronouns, which made it hard to follow.
For years she had been away, back then when she had left she had planned never to come back again, but it seemed like fate had other plans for her. I'd put a full stop after 'away', to stop it becoming a run on sentence.

It was also quite short. The way you set it up made it seem like the start of a chaptered fic, but it's one-shot. There's open endings, and then there's leaving a reader hanging with a really juicy concept and then just... stopping.

I did like your description, especially of people. And your dialogue was excellent, I could really imagine Pansy saying those lines. I think it was a little unrealistic for Millicent to suddenly [well, not suddenly, but kind of randomly] lose weight and become intelligent [she came across as being much sharper than in the books, when she seemed pretty violent]

Like I said, your set-up is really intriguing. I want to know what happens next, how Blaise and Daphne react to the news, and why pansy's been away for so long, etc. I'd suggest either adding this in [making it a chaptered fic even] or else putting a lot more detail throughout the story as to Pansy's reactions, emotions, and general life since leaving England. Making it longer wouldn't hurt either. If you had all that, the open ending wouldn't matter so much and might even add to it [my english teacher always says that the aim of a short story is to leave the reader wanting more]

Hope I helped :)

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Review #7, by SilverThimbleSmoke and Mirrors: Cloak and Dagger

10th June 2008:
yay, new chapter:D I loved this one too.
The amount of detail really added to the story, and I love how all the different character's motivations are all coming together. I really like how it has the feel of a sort of horror/thriller, with magic thrown in :) Ooh, interesting about the Dementors. they're like soul-drinking vampires. I never wondered where they got new ones from.
The description and dialogue were fabulous as usual, but what really stood out was the characters. Each of them has their own agenda and back story which make them really unique I'm also liking Rita Skeeter - she's so horrible yet strangely likeable, and it's very like her to manipulate the Warden like that.

Great job, 10/10, please update soon :)

Author's Response: Yay thanks! :) I love horror/thriller stories and I've always respected those who could write them well. It's so hard!

I know, I never really wondered exactly where new Dementors come from until I heard someone use the term "breed" and it creeped me out to imagine little floating baby Dementors... I'm sure they don't reproduce in every sense of the word, but they had to come from somewhere, somehow. *scratches head*

Haha I do think Rita's a wonderful character because she's the type of person everyone abuses outwardly, yet inwardly they kind of envy the way she just says whatever's in her mind and doesn't hesitate about going after whatever she wants and screw convention.

Thank you very much for coming back to read and review :) It means a lot that you're enjoying this story and I really hope you'll like the rest!

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Review #8, by SilverThimbleBouquet: Blue Periwinkle

10th June 2008:
It was a kind of short chapter. But it's great to find out more about the kid's dislike of the Snapes. I didn't think about that, that he's only 3. The poor kid :( I think it's strange how they think he's "a myth made up to scare you at night", but you know, they're only six.
I'd just say that the story doesn't really seem to be moving along much at this point. I do like reading about Petunia's childhood, but at this rate you'll be writing about it for about 20 chapters. And there's couple of things you've only mentioned once or twice and then sort of dropped (her dreams, lily's illness).
Seeing as the next chapter is going to be longer (is is, right?) I'm just going to have to say update soon!

Author's Response: Hello again and thank you for reviewing (as always)!!

Yes, I know it was kind of a short chapter. The next will be longer, I promise.

I know it kinda seems like things aren't really going anywhere but I do promise that in the next handful of chapters things will all start to tie up and fall into place. Everything happened so far for a reason, you'll just have to wait and see....

Glad that you liked it and about the update, you should being seeing one very soon b/c I'm officially done with school (woot!!)

Thanks for reviewing again!!

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Review #9, by SilverThimbleThe Road Home: Lost to the Night

9th June 2008:
ah, Lucius, you... evil man! They've got to get her back, they have to. If this story doesn't have a happy ending I'll - I'll - think of a suitable protest. Really great chapter, though, and I think you were right to split it. I'm glad that Astoria at least seems nice enough. Poor nott, I feel sorry for him a little. Wow, this review doesn't make much sense. Please update soon, this cliffhanger of Nyah's fate is nerve wracking!

Author's Response:

Hello!!! :D

Yes, Lucius is fun to play with - in an evil way... muahaha! No protesting will be necessary, but it may not end the way you think - so I guess we'll have to see...

Astoria (and eventually Scorpius) are Draco's 'saving grace'... And don't feel too sorry for Nott - he's just looking our for himself here!

The update will be soon! Thanks for the lovely review!!!! :D

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Review #10, by SilverThimbleAt Long Last: To Remember...

6th June 2008:
hey :) I know it's taken almost a month (sorry) but here is the requested review...

I liked the idea. I think it's a brave thing to write about, and I have only encountered one other fic that did, although alice didn't have a happy ending in that one. I'm glad she did here; she definitely deserved it. I also liked how you showed Alice's memories coming back to her bit by bit.

However, I think that a great deal of it was almost skimmed over, and you could have gone into a lot more depth, especially with Alice's emotions. A simple cure for her insanity is a wonderful thought, but plot-wise, there is nothing to particularly grab the reader. There was no twist, and it came to a predictable end, while I was expecting some sort of problem with the treatment. Wouldn't Alice feel desperately out of touch, or regret the lost years of her life? Anger at Bellatrix for taking them? You could have shown more of their conversation with Neville, which I would have found very interesting. Meeting a long-lost (for neville) parents or a child you never really knew would, I think, have more emotions associated with it than joyful tears.

Again, your descriptions were good but could have been better if there was more to them.
She sat and stared at the opposite wall, remembering little by little the memories of her past and wondering what she was doing in a deserted white room.: That ought to have been quite confusing for her, but i got no sense of that from this sentence.

Overall, I would recommend stretching this out a bit and making the emotions, characters and plot a bit more substantial, but it was a very sweet story. (and by the way, your grammar was almost perfect :D)

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Review #11, by SilverThimbleThe Dream of One Night: Chapter Four - Severus

29th May 2008:
No, I didn't forget this story. I'm back *would be humming a spy film theme tune if she could remember one right now*

Anyways, loved this chapter. Lucius is so amazingly nasty. It makes so much sense to have him asking Snape to put Draco on the team, and you wrote it so well.Finally able to mix work with pleasure, I see? That whole conversation cracked me up - I always find very in character evil people hilarious.

I like how you're showing that Snape is falling in love with Avrille. I wonder what he means by 'a relationship would be impossible' What did his father do? I need to know ><

You have so many great ideas in here - the amount of detail and thought that went into teh part where snape is showing her around is immense. Snape's sarcastic comments are hilarious(as always). Can't wait to read more!

Author's Response: Thank you thank you!! Oh gosh, isn't Lucius just a total gem? He's almost as much fun to write as Lockhart XD Plus he's sooo darn hot too... And why are evil people just so funny, huh? It's probably because they take themselves so ha ha! Makes you want to laugh in their faces.

Can't give you any hints about that mystery line there... :) That would be rather spoiling one of the major plot points, but I promise you'll get an answer if you keep reading! Thanks again for the review and all of the wonderful compliments!

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Review #12, by SilverThimbleThe Road Home: What My Heart Needs...

26th May 2008:
Aw, that was another brilliant chapter. I loved Harry's conversation with Nyah, it was so touching. Ginny's reaction was very well done, and realistic. I like how you give every character a logical motive - such as Lucius threatening to hurt Draco's son. Your writing has improved so much since that first chapter all those months ago *is getting quite nostalgic* I'm very glad I decided to keep reading, because I honestly did not know it was going to get just this amazing. I hope you update as soon as the queue opens again, I'm dying to know what's going to happen to her now :)

Author's Response:

Hello old friend... :) Welcome back.

I'm very glad you enjoyed this chapter! :) It was a lot of fun to write, as well as emotional.

I've gained a lot of knowledge, as well as understanding of myself and this little thing called writing since that first chapter. And what a ride!!! Thanks for being there the whole time! You've been a great source of support and I appreciate it!

Yes, there will be a chapter ready to go when the queue opens... {rushing to edit ch 19}

Thanks again for a lovely review!!! :D

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Review #13, by SilverThimbleChanges: Predicaments

17th May 2008:
“You know, I wouldn't blame Potter if her was banging her,” : lol, I noticed this because I have a similar line in my story, also said by Blaise. Yeah, random.

I liked this too, although things seem to be happening both too fast and too slow. I think you could show what Hermione is thinking a bit more, and slow down the switches between conversations. But then, nothing has really changed from the last chapter. They're still on the train, still arguing with Malfoy, etc. These first two chapters could be combined. Yes, you would lose the cliffhanger, but there would be a lot more to chew on and pull people in.

Your dialogue and characterization are definitely your strong points. The Slytherins were excellent, and Ron and Harry were such idiots (as usual). Just work on your flow a little, and this could be a brilliant story.

Hope I helped :)

Author's Response: hmmm great minds i guess.

i originally had them as one chapter and split it up... i dont remember my original logic behind that decision though...

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Review #14, by SilverThimbleChanges: Letters and trains

17th May 2008:
I'm so sorry this review has taken a while... I've been studying (like I really should be now) But anyway.

Ok, you have the Head Girl & Head Boy sharing dorms. I'm guessing you already know this is a cliche :) HB doesn't seem to be Malfoy, though, which is interesting twist.

I quite liked this - I really wasn't expecting to when I started reading, because it was quite short and a Dramione (no offence, but this ship seems to attract bad writing).

I liked your characterisation especially - Harry and Ron were both really well done, as was Hermione. And no attempt seems to have been made as yet to soften Malfoy's character - but wouldn't Hermione wonder even a little bit about why he's returned to school? Some random theory or other, maybe. I would also have seen her treating him with more disdain, not lowering herself enough to swear at him. She knows he chickened out of killing Dumbledore (at least I assume that's what you mean by 'after what happened last year')

He even dropped to the floor in the middle of packing the other day: that was random but funny and so like Ron :)

Another thing I liked was how you used words - you had a great range of vocabulary (and yay for me not having to point out spelling mistakes!) I particularly liked "Molly's face broadcast". I love it when verbs get all twisted around like that. One complaint : Please forgive the tardiness of this letter.: "tardiness" always sounds American to me. I've never heard a British person say it, anyway.

In conclusion, this is a really strong start, and looks like it will have an interesting plot :) I'll review more tomorrow (today if I get around to it)

Author's Response: haha i know it attracts bad writing, it bothers me so much because i love reading them!! lol

there shall be no attept to soften him at all, i ahte when people take them out of character. i did have something written about stuff going on in her head about malfoy being back, i jsut havent updated it online yet.

i laughed writing that part with ron, i could picture it so perfectly in my head.

i couldnt think of anything else other than tardiness....

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Review #15, by SilverThimbleButterfly: Butterfly

10th May 2008:
Hello, SilverThimble from the forums here :)
I know this has nothing to do with the story but your banner is gorgeous :]

Well, my biggest impression of this story was that it was... pretty, if that makes any sense? You had some lovely imagery, and your description was really good. It was very cleverly put together as well, especially the last line... was screaming out the same name in his sleep. It all fit neatly , and was surprisingly enjoyable (I have never liked Cho)

As for sappiness... it wasn't very sappy. It was quite sweet, actually. I did think they repeated some things more than necessary, such as "I'll always be with you"-s and "I love you"-s. I loved how you showed Cho's grief after his death - it was really horrible reading “Alright, Cho, I promise that I’ll still be with you no matter what happens at the Triwizard Tournament.” , knowing how it would end.

My only criticisms would be that at times your dialogue was a little awkward and (as I've said above) got a bit repetitive.
“I’m certain he’s going to do it. Anyway, I see my boyfriend. Bye Cho.” didn't sound quite natural to me.
Some of your phrasing could be better, but overall it was great. I granted him entrance to my mouth and his tongue greeted mine and I was vaguely aware that someone might be watching us.: that it close to a run-on sentence. Maybe make it into two - "..greeted mine. I was vaguely aware..."
Numerous kilometers away : I don't know if this was a joke on the overused "many miles away" or if you just like your thesaurus. Or maybe you just like the metric system? Anyway, it didn't completely sit right with the rest of the sentence.

Overall, this was really very good. You do have room for improvement, but not much xD Hope I helped some :]

Author's Response: Haha, Cho is like one of my favorite characters. :) Yeah, some of the conversations did sound a bit awkward, but I've never really written something like this before. I'm glad you thought the imagery was good; I thought it was a bit vague but I love describing things. :D

Yeah, the kilometers away was a joke, since I always see 'miles away'. I felt like switching it up a bit. :P

Thanks for reviewing! I appreciated reading the review. :)

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Review #16, by SilverThimbleThe Road Home: Nearly Family

9th May 2008:
This was an amazing chapter. I loved how you showed Ginny's reaction when Hermione told her about Nyah... it was very believable, and very sad. There were pops in the garden - I'm guessing they're important. The tension really is mounting... I'm still kind of speechless. I think it was a great idea to show the crash from Ginny and Harry's point of view... that was important, I think. Beautiful stuff, really.
Update soon! (and please make something happy happen, please *pleading eyes*)

and random question: eHPfans? What is?

Author's Response:

Hello!!! :D

Thank you for the compliments! :) This was a great chapter to write and really allow the exploration of Harry and Ginny's feelings.

Yes, the 'pops' in the garden are very significant, and there will be happy moments with one of her parents in the next chapter! :D So now you can turn off those 'puppy-dog' eyes and get ready to read ch 18! lol

**and to answer your random question - eHPfans are the amazing elderlyharrypotterfans for us 'old folks' over the age of 18. :D I'll pm you more about it.

Thanks for the reviews and questions are always welcome! :D

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Review #17, by SilverThimbleBouquet: Begonia

9th May 2008:
Brilliant chapter! I love how you're getting the Snapes in, and I loved how the kids explained magic. It was so funny when Petunia didn't want to go to school - I really liked how you wrote it. Description was fabulous, and so was the dialogue :) The whole thing was wonderfully written, and so believable. And there was a character with my name! yay! Sorry, that was very exciting ^-^

You have to update soon :D

Author's Response: Thank You Thank You for reviewing, as always!!!

Ahhh the infamous Snapes, notice how they love sticking their (abnormally large) noses into a lot things. You'll be seeing a lot more of them soon *winks*

It was so funn writing how Petunia didn't want to go to school. She seemed to me like the type who would dread it. Not me man, I ran into the building and made about 6 friends in 2 minutes. I loved school, until I discovered homework *shudders*

You liked the dialouge, yay!!! I was worried about it b/c this chpt is mostly dialouge as is the next, and I wanted it to be good b/c dialouge is my weak area. But it went well *wipes brow*

Yeah I stuck a Clara in there as a subtle thanks to such an awesome reviewer (you gave me my first one...still haven't forgotten)!! Thanks!!!

Next chapter coming soon, just has to validate!!! Glad you liked it!!

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Review #18, by SilverThimbleThe Dream of One Night: Chapter Three - Avrille

30th April 2008:
The computer did it again. Grr. Anyway, about your response to my lat review, I see your point. Touche :)

The characterisation in this chapter was fantastic - a lot of the time teachers get sidelined or left out, but you really fleshed them out here. Lockhart was especially good - I wanted to hit him, always a sign of him being bang on character :) Arville was great too - I laughed so hard at some of her lines. And I can't believe I'm saying [or typing] this, but Snape was soo sweet. I'm beginning to like him (shock!)
I also really liked how you added extra quirky details to a world already almost overpopulated by them , but somehow they fit right in. The little parts about the Hogwarts Commuter train and Jack the Ripper were inspired.

Love the story, can't wait to read more (soon)

Author's Response: Oh man! You need to start typing your responses in MS Word or something then saving them XD That's what I do when I have something long I'm scared of losing!

But anyway...yes, I wanted to hit Lockhart too while writing him, so that let me know that I was doing a pretty decent job ;) And be very very careful: this story HAS been known to convert some die-hard Snape haters into Severphiles!! Like I think I said earlier, he's quite different when he's around a pretty young lady as opposed to an annoying pipsqueak with glasses and a scar XD So glad you're liking the story! I promise it gets even's so long that I had a lot of random stuff to set up in the first few chapters. Just wait until all of the awkward sexual tension begins! Oh yay!

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Review #19, by SilverThimbleThe Road Home: Slipping Away

29th April 2008:
I always forget that if I don't review this straight away, another chapter will have popped up by the time I get around to it. so here's my (short) review for both.

I love it! Hope Ginny doesn't freak out now... and I'm so happy for Myah, because she'll get a proper family at last, even if James isn't being too nice at the minute. Your writing is so good, I swear I feel I'm right there, experiencing everything for myself.

Nothing more to be said. Update soon :)

Author's Response:

Hello friend! :)

Thanks so much for the review!!! :) I'm thrilled that you're still enjoying it... not too much more to go... :(

Chapter 17 is in the queue and as fast as validations are going... it will only be a couple of more days! :D

Again, thanks for stopping by! :)

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Review #20, by SilverThimbleThe Dream of One Night: Chapter Two - Severus

28th April 2008:
I suppose it really depends on where you take this, but her life-story does seem pretty Mary-Sue to me. She seemed to be so happy in the first chapter, but now we learn she's had a tragic life. A little inconsistent. I'm not going to judge a character based on this, though, especially as your writing is so good and Arville had a very interesting personality in the first chappie. I shall have to see...

On the positive side, Snape was brilliant. He was maybe a little softer, less harsh and bitter, than in the books, although with Lily removed and considering the romance plot, it's all good :)whom I ended up failing half-way through the first term for unpardonable incompetence : lol, hilarious.

Can't wait to

Author's Response: Hmm...I have to argue there. After all, the period of time in which Avrille grew up in, being the height of Voldemort's reign of terror, was very chaotic and violent so many people had terrible things happen to them who you wouldn't call Mary-Sues because of it. Is Molly Weasley a Mary-Sue because her brothers were murdered? Yeah, Avrille is kind of happy in the first chapter, but that's cause it's been 12 years since her father was killed. It was really traumatizing for her at the time (and had some unseen repercussions), but she's moved on a bit since then. Though she had a bit of a hard time in school, she had a mother who loved her more than anything and helped her grow up into a stable young woman. Does this all make sense? XD

And yay that you think Snape's characterization fits! Since he was never in love with Lily, and thus had all of that baggage, he *is* a bit less bitter. That's really the most AU part of the story. It's funny you said he's a little "softer" when I just mentioned that in my last reply. Heh heh...I don't mind him being a bit softer, since he's still the same cranky, snarky guy when he's teaching (honestly, that guy needs to be teaching college kids or something...) Thank you for the review!

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Review #21, by SilverThimbleThe Dream of One Night: Chapter One - Avrille

28th April 2008:
Remember me? You left a review for every chapter of my story and I promised to review yours. That was. oh, about six months ago. So I'm very late :) I had a huge review for this story all typed up yesterday and just as I hit send... my internet connection dies. This is the condensed version. So there's my feeble excuse :) Onwards!

So... wow. I loved this! Your writing is really amazing, and your style, even though it's maybe a little unusual, is brilliant. I think it's because it's not "here's some dialogue, now some description, a bit of the narrator arguing with herself..." etc. It's all blended together and flowed, so it was more like watching a film than reading. In a good way. :)

Your oc, Arville, is really great. In the space of one chapter I feel like I know her. She's so funny... I loved how you introduced her to Snape. I'm going to guess that you're Canadian too (sorry if I'm wrong...) , so it was a much better way of getting someone of a nationality you're familiar with into your story without going the whole cliche Mary-Sue school transfer route. I loved how you got all these little details about her background and family in without overloading the reader with information and being confusing.

And finally, a Snape romance that isn't angsty and involves Lily! (Or Hermione... bleh) Handily, your author's note cleared up a lot of things, because I was bleating "but what about DH?" most of the way through. Interesting idea, having Snape as some sort of magical intellectual and giving lectures. Very original and great way of getting the two to meet, and backed up with her being an apprentice at Hogwarts, it's very exciting. I also like how you showed Snape as having a mix of his good and bad traits... not totally good or bad, like a lot of people seem to portray him. Snape is one of the most complex and interesting characters, and I like how you've got his 'grey areas'.

Nothing in your dialogue or description particularly jumped out at me, probably because it was all so amazing. I did love the first conversation between Arville and Snape. Lol, she really put her foot in it.

I'm fairly sure that was all I'd said yesterday... but I'm sure there was more...
Anyway, amazing stuff. Going to keep reading and stick this in my favourites :)

Author's Response: Oh wow! Good to see you here ;) That's too bad about the other review...why does that only happen when you write a long one?! I hate that!

No, I actually am American, but I've been pretty disgusted with the country for the past 8 years so I wanted to make Avrille COOL. Which ended up working to my advantage cause everyone's said they'd never read about a Canadian OC before...weird!

Glad you like my Sevvy ;) I've had some people say he's too "soft," but I always disagreed since we almost never see him in the books when Harry isn't there. Being around Harry would certainly make ME cranky! Glad the author's note helped you...I got really sick of people saying "But he was in love with Lily!" when, after all, that's only been canon since July and I wrote most of this story WAY before that ;) Anyway, thanks a super bunch for the review! I hope your story's going well (and I noticed that you haven't changed the title, which amuses me to no end! Go you!) and I hope you like the rest of my fic!

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Review #22, by SilverThimbleThe Road Home: World's Apart

24th April 2008:
Argh it's so good! So we've found out what happens then? Wow, I would never have guessed that. Poor Harry & Ginny... darn Malfoy and his dastardly plans... gosh, i hope they catch him and convert him to good deeds such as saving small girls. So the only mystery left now is why they did that to her, although it could have been revenge... hehe sorry I'm just typing out random thoughts here.

It was such an amazing chapter. I loved it - your characterization of everyone from Hermione to Anna (who is turing out quite mean, actually) is superb. And I am still in awe of how brilliant your writing and plot are ... I didn't skip a single word, (which is usually a very bad habit of mine)

I really hope Nyah gets a happy ending... the poor thing :(
Couple of things I noticed (but only because of being so gripped I read every word)
names, face, and arguments rushed at her : left out an 's' on 'faces'

Veritaserum…illegal. Legilimens… again, illegal.: I don't know that they are... I'm sure the Ministry could use them if it was necessary. Although Draco is an Occlumens.
And in a paragraph about halfway down, every sentence started with 'Hermione' so taht there were four 'Hermione' s stacked on top of each other. It just looked odd.

So yeah, fabulous chapter. Update soon!

Author's Response:

Hello again! :D

Yes... the mystery is beginning to be revealed... :)

I'm very happy you enjoyed it! YEAH! :)

Thanks for catching that lost letter 's'. I believe there was mention that Veritaserum is illegal to use on a student and basically, it's a truth potion... Nyah's not lying... she just can't remember (and now we know why) and the legilimens... I don't think the Ministery would okay the use of that on a 10-year-old even for this purpose, so... to make it more interesting... :) it's illegal.

WOW... 4 Hermione's in a row! I hate when I do that!

Looks like I'm off to edit! :) Thanks so much for the wonderful review as well as the CC (you know I love that!)

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Review #23, by SilverThimbleHoneydukes: Honeydukes

18th April 2008:
Hello, SilverThimble from the forums here :)

My first Rose/Scorpius... wasn't sure what to expect, but I enjoyed it a lot. Scorpius' characterization was brilliant; I loved how you showed his change from being like his father, to hating him. His relationship with Rose was also very convincing, and the bits of dialogue they had were really good. Overall it was very well written, and your descriptions were lovely.

My two favourite quotes:
.In the end, my hatred for Rose grew so unbearable that I did something unforgivable; I fell in love with her.
. No Slytherin ever went to the library; we already knew all the answers. - they were just brilliant :)

Can't remember, but I think you asked about the flow of the story? The flashbacks didn't seem to be in chronological order - near the start you say they are seventeen, and then they're taking their OWLS. But it wasn't hopelessly confusing, and otherwise the flashbacks made perfect sense. I really liked how they fitted in with Scorpius' thoughts. I did think that a few paragraphs could have been added to the start before he starts talking about Rose, but I suppose that would have been mostly unnecessary.

Wow - the ending was a little shocking, but it fitted in really well with the challenge quote. It was a little unusual to see Draco as a drunken old man, and I don't know, I thought he was little less reserved and cold than in the books. Personally, I don't like evil Dracos, because I don't see him as all that bad and maybe slightly reformed after DH - but it is mostly up to interpretation. And he was very convincing - his anger at being powerless over his son's future was very well shown.

There were lots of lovely details in there which really brought this story to life - the characters felt real and very rounded. The last few paragraphs were amazing - very sad. Poor Scorpius. I didn't see too many spelling or grammar mistakes, and nothing that disrupted the story at all.

Hehe, that was a little disjointed. Anyway, I loved this story. So well done. :)

Author's Response: thanks so much for your review!!! about the flashbacks - they were meant to be in chronological order, but upon rereading, i can see that the seventeen bit was a typo, it was meant to say 15. but I'll go back and change that, so thanks for pointing that out.
about Draco - I think he was a little reformed, but it didn't really fit to where I wanted to go with the story. and I wanted to show how powerless he was. thanks so much for reviewing! you've really helped me :) glad u liked it!

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Review #24, by SilverThimble:

18th April 2008:
Hi, SilverThimble from the forums here :)

A sweet first chapter, and I liked seeing what Harry and Ginny's wedding would be like. You showed Harry's nervousness very well, and both he and Ron were very in character.

Few things I noticed:
Ron turned to look at him, his face was a startling pale white.: I'd take out the 'was'.
“It feels wonderful,” The comma should be a full stop.

Judging by your summary, this is only a set-up chapter for a more interesting story, but nothing particularly grabbed me here. A good start, though.

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Review #25, by SilverThimbleThe Road Home: Missing Pieces of Me

17th April 2008:
Great chapter as usual, even if for most of it I was convinced I had missed something and Nyah's magic had already been taken away... but if not, then what was the whole “like something’s gone missing.” thing about? just wondering... and yeah, I could just be being slow here ;)

And you have Draco in! He's such an interesting character, and you wrote him very well (even if he's now evil - minus points because i never saw him as being particularly 'evil' - just a fairly nasty, badly raised bully. But it's your story I guess)

I loved the parts with the Weasleys - normally next gen stories are drowning in cheese, but you write kids beautifully. I can see why Nolly'd be so edgy - Death Eaters who should technically be extinct by now invading her house, etc - and I liked how you showed that.

*cries because of the last sentence* No! You can't kill her! I suspect you won't , but am protesting the very idea. A vote was taken – a plan set in motion – a girl’s fate sealed – and a woman walked home with the knowledge that a child she has grown to love will die. . I am chewing my nails in anticipation of an update (please soon - can't do my guitar exam next week with no nails)

Amazing, amazing story! 10/10 as usual :)

Author's Response:

Well... since I wouldn't want you to mess up your guitar exam... let me help out just enough to hold you over till ch 14 comes out...

The healer at St. Mungo's performed a temporary spell to block Nyah's magic. If it comes to completely separating her magic, it will be a huge spell with Ministry involvement as it is not something that is undertaken lightly.

Ahh... Draco. No, I don't believe he is inheritantly evil, but he does have issues with saying 'no' to certain people. He's rather a 'yes' man... and not for the right people. He's only cocky when he's protected (and he knew Hermione wouldn't do anything to him there).

The only way Nyah will die is if those that love her refuse to do what is best for her... and let her birthday pass without taking some action. They either find the wizard and somehow get him to reverse the spell OR they take away her magic forever... otherwise... yes, she will eventually die. Sad, I know, but life is full of difficult decisions, and this is one of them...

Gosh, I HOPE I never having the kids dripping in cheese... those who do that, have never LIVED with children! LOL

Good luck on your exam!

The next chapter should be up soon! :D

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