I'm really enjoying this story. I like the way you write Ron and Hermione, and all the Weasleys actually. It's a very sweet story, and very well-written. It feels delightfully magical and HP-ish (I hope that makes sense). I can't wait to see where you go next with it.Author's Response: Thank you!
Good to hear that you're really enjoying the story - I have one more chapter coming up set on the same day, in The Burrow, and then we'll be moving along!
'It feels delightfully magical and HP-ish' is a huge compliment to me, that's exactly what I've been aiming for.
Thanks for R&Ring!
Athene xo Report Review
Oh I adore this! It's just perfect, in every way. Beautifully written, flawless language, just the right amount of sentiment, I just love it. I love your portrayal of Arthur, loved Molly and newborn Bill (thought you described newborns just right too), and the midwife was lovely. Loved Arthur's new-father thoughts, his brothers giving them Errol, the fact you mentioned Gretna Green, the mentions of the growing Voldy War (though I would note that Arthur and Molly were not in the original Order of the Phoenix). Just all-around this is fantastic. Are you going to do more? More Weasley babies!Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'm really glad you enjoyed this so much. I did try and get the 'newborn' atmosphere right - that sort of sleepy/alertness!
Don't worry, I'm a canon freak and am keeping Arthur and Molly out of the Order. However, Arthur may just help out where he can, unofficially ;)
I've got six more chapters planned, including all seven Weasley kids and moving across the years from 1970 to 1999. I'm excited about it and I'm glad you are too! I just love those Weasleys.
Thanks for reading and reviewing! Athene xo Report Review
Wow, this is really amazing. Very emotionally powerful, very well-written, very sad. Your description is excellent - love your word choice and the lack of dialogue. It's tough to write an exposition-only (barring one line, yes) chapter, and you handled it beautifully. Showing Peter's mother at his funeral - oooh never seen anyone write that before or even mention it, really. She's largely forgotten, and I adore writers who show forgotten characters. I love that you showed this from McGonagall's perspective, too, because in canon she does say that she felt a lot of guilt at Peter's death.
This line: "She wondered what lies Voldemort whispered in Sirius's ear, what promises were made to seduce a boy who once thought James hung the moon." Absolutely beautiful, and describes it so flawlessly. You wonder how they ever could have doubted Sirius, because he DID think James hung the moon (also, fun imagery there with the moon and poor Remus). Goes to show the times they were living in, you couldn't trust anyone.
Anyway, this is absolutely lovely, I'm so glad I read it :) Fabulous job.Author's Response: Aw, I'm blushing, thanks! You know I almost wrote this story with no dialogue at all - it was a close call, but I like having that one line of dialogue there.
I don't think I've ever really seen a Peter funeral at all, to be honest. If I remember correctly, I do recall reading a bit about his mother receiving his finger and the Order of Merlin after his "death", but his mother is very rarely mentioned. I thought it was worth adding, to make us sympathize more with Peter as if we didn't know what he truly did, to see how his mother grieves him.
I love that line you pulled out too! War is definitely hard on anyone, especially a friendship that was probably riddled with tension and obviously there was a lot of mistrust between Sirius and Remus, so it is a terrible time to trust anyone, for sure.
I can't get over how sweet your review is. Thank you for your kind words. :) Report Review
EEEK Hermione is Penelope! Oh that is just brilliant. I hope you do Hermione/Ron in the style of Penelope/Colin! Oh who should be Gregory? And Benedict? You've got to marry off more Bridgertons! I mean Weasleys! Oh man, I would love to see Benedict/Sophie as Percy/Audrey. Gregory would be great for George.
Anyway actual review! I'm terrible at reviewing, I seem to have two modes: pointing out grammatical errors, and raving over the chapter. I didn't see any grammatical errors so SQUEE. I'm so excited for more of this story, I just love it. It's adorable, and Fleur is just perfect. It's just so adorable and so much fun. Wonderful chapter!Author's Response: Your review just made me laugh! :) I love squeeing and shall proceed to join you in this endeavor! SQUEE! :) :) Thanks so much for leaving this fun review!
You're going to have to wait until I write those stories to really find out :P Unless I cave later on and tell you :)
Char Report Review
Oh my God, this is seriously hilarious. XD I totally cracked up. I lurve Molly in this. Wanting her money's worth and messing with the psychics just for fun. Too funny. Love it!Author's Response: Hooray, thank you! I wrote this at one in the morning so I wasn't quite sure if it was actually funny or if I was just cracking up (since I tend to think that everything is funny at one in the morning). I love Molly. In fanfic she always seems to be screaming at everyone so I enjoyed the opportunity to show her fun side.
Thank you so much for reading!! Report Review
OH MY GOD why are you the best thing ever. This is unbelievably beautiful, I loved every word of it. It's just brilliant. Romantic and sweet and poignant - MAN this is good stuff. You should write more Bill/Fleur. FABULOUS. Pardon my capslock.Author's Response: THIS REVIEW. /YOU/ ARE CLEARLY THE BEST THING EVER. (Reciprocal capslock is clearly happening.)
MORE CAPSLOCK BECAUSE I LITERALLY JUST HAD ABOUT A MILLION AND ONE MOMENTS. I'm so, so glad you enjoyed this -- you completely and totally made my night! I definitely want to write more Bill/Fleur and you've pretty much made that an eventual certainty. Thanks a million times over, Meg! You're awesome! ♥ Report Review
Wonderfully written. You did a great job with Merope's character and handling the entire Tom Riddle love potion incident. Spot-on how I've always pictured those scenes happening. Good job :)Author's Response: Thank you so much for reviewing! I've always wanted to write a Tom/Merope story but could never get it quite right! Thanks for reviewing! (I love your stories as well by the way) lol! Report Review
I love your characterization of young McGonagall. She's so sad and brave and lonely. Wearing her hair pulled tightly back just suits her so well. Love Dumbledore as a teacher, encouraging young Minerva. Love the canon touches of Anti-Cheating Quills and alphabetical seat assignments and dragon pox. I love little details like that, they really make the story come alive.
I didn't see why Frances was crying. She started it, said something horrible to her sister, and managed to get something of a rise out of her but Minerva didn't respond in kind. As I saw that exchange, Frances was entirely at fault. She acted like a jerk, frankly. Carolyn's berating Minerva seemed out of place, even given the loss of her sister. One would think she'd be mad at Frances for picking on Minerva.
There were a few grammatical errors and misused words, but overall it's quite a well-written story. I really liked your take on McGonagall and the overall tone of the story. Very nicely done!Author's Response: So sad and brave and lonely - very Minerva. And the canon bits! Teacher Dumbledore I loved - I prefer him as Professor rather than Headmaster, actually. I love those little details most people overlook, too.
Oh, yes, I suppose Carolyn being mad at Frances would make better sense, wouldn't it? She did act like a bit of a jerk, but not all families can be perfect.
Thank you very much for reviewing this! Report Review
This is off to a great start! I love how you took Anthony's story and made it decidedly different and unique while still being recognizably based on Anthony's. Characterization looks good so far, though of course he's still a kid. I can't wait to see how you do the Delacour girls! I adore the Bridgertons, I think you captured Julia Quinn's style well here, and I love a Bill/Fleur. Really excited to see how this story progresses.Author's Response: I really do appreciate you taking the time to leave the review in addition to validating it! (THANK YOU btw, but I still can't believe that I was a bit of an idiot about telling you it was up)
I'm glad that it's different because I didn't want to just copy-paste the story. I saw another one of these Julia Quinn tributes on this site and it's basically the same story with different names which I do NOT want to do!
I hope you like what comes up with the rest of the chapters!
xChar Report Review
Oooh dude. That's very scary. Good job on the horror! I like that you described so thoroughly without describing, if that makes sense - it's a surprising amount of detail for still being vague on what's really going on, but that's how good horror writing needs to be. If you tell everything, it's not as scary. A flash of blood and dark, screams. I feel like I just saw a really good movie preview. In just 700 words! Man you're good.Author's Response: Thanks! :D It was my first attempt at this kind of style (3am horror indeed), and half the struggle was trying to keep the girls unnamed while not confusing the 'she's too much. ♥ eep, I love that image, like a movie trailer! glad you enjoyed it :) Report Review
It was very cute! Very sweet and adorable. I really like the way you characterized Rolf. And you did really well with Luna, who is a difficult character to write. I think you got her spot-on, with her knowing looks and instant understanding. The line about them staring at each other with her as if it was totally natural = perfect. Lovely one-shot, really enjoyed it!Author's Response: Thanks for the lovely review! I'm glad you liked the story! I really like writing Luna and I don't find her as difficult to write as some other characters, so it's always good to hear that I don't just imagine that but that she sounds right to others as well. And I'm glad you like my Rolf too. I always imagine him a bit more down to earth than Luna even though they have same kind of interests. To sort of balance the relationship. :) Report Review
Oh the fluff! The romance! I adore this. I sincerely hope you weren't writing this as a parody (I've heard you don't do romance except as parody) because it's absolutely beautiful. I just love it. I wish it was longer, I totally want to read a Luna/Rolf story now. So sweet. Beautifully written.Author's Response: Oh no, this is very much not a parody! The only romance I like to parody is NextGen and I've only done one of those. :) I lean more towards angst than anything else.
I'm so glad you adored this! This review totally made me smile :) :) i don't know if you've read this one already but AndrinaBlack wrote a fluffy Luna/Rolf called "Snooze" Report Review
OH MY GOD WHY IS THIS AWESOME. All the awards. Seriously. This was so hilarious. My kids came running in to ask what was so funny. Epic. Epic win. My orbs are wet with tears of laughter.
And now I'm picturing Draco doing the Carlton dance.Author's Response: Thank you so much for the review! Glad you enjoyed it! Report Review
Really enjoying this so far and can't wait to see what's next :) Love your characterizations, and the peripheral characters we've seen so far. (and I'm really hoping for some Bill/Fleur action, cause I like this pairing haha)Author's Response: Yay, thankyou so much! Hehe, I'm really glad they seem real enough - I'm always worried that my characters are going to seem fake :P And there will indeed be plenty of Bill/Fleur action... to the point where I'm worried about the effect too much fluff can have on your health ;) Report Review
I love this SO MUCH, I can't even tell you. LOVE. LOVE LOVE LOVE. I wish the kiss had been in it, though, but I can't even think about much because of THE AWESOME. Sweeping, epic, romance. LOVE. Totally speechless. Fabulous job.Author's Response: THANKYOU SO MUCH! :D aah I'm feeling so very flattered and happy, hehe - and I really want to write them again! I'm wondering about including the kiss in another one, since I just overlooked it at the time, and it's a brilliant idea ;) THANKYOU 83 Report Review
Aww I really sympathize with the mom here. I wouldn't want them going back either. I like that Victoria's dad is going back though, he seems like a really stand-up guy. I would like more detail on his injury?
Dumbledore was great, I like him rounding up the old Order - very canon there. Nicely fits your OCs into the canon universe, which I always enjoy. I see plot coming with that Liaison article ;) Can't wait to see where you take this. Will read and review more tomorrow! Report Review
She's right, the Triwizard tasks are too much to ask of a teenager. I dunno, maybe we have different expectations since we don't have magic everywhere. But as a mom, it seems like too much.
Again an excellent chapter, moves along quickly which I like. I do wonder how old Victoria is? I assume she's around Percy's age? Report Review
Great set-up. Such a sad family history. I'm glad the dad lived, I thought for a minute he was going to be dead, or worse like Neville's parents. Whew. Continuing on, liking it so far! Report Review
ooh *romantic squeal* so adorable! I loved it! Such a cute story! I love the proposal. Teddy's appearance was perfect, so romantic showing up all black-cloak and hot like that. NICE. Loved it!Author's Response: I'm glad you liked it! I so rarely write anything romancy and fluffy, so I'm never sure if it's decent or not. But yeah, Teddy was very hot in this! Thanks for reading and reviewing! :) Report Review
So good! Yes, I agree, you definitely need a sequel to this one. So much angst! I wanted to shake Tonks for not understanding. Werewolf and cheater are not the same thing! Women haha. Poor Remus, I love the way you wrote him. Great story!Author's Response: I'll write one! Just be sure to hound me in case I forget. ;) I'm glad you enjoyed the story. Tonks definitely needs to realize that Remus wasn't trying to hurt her. Thanks for reading and reviewing! :) Report Review
how dominate they felt over the others = should be "dominant"
could feel was the cold, realization = unnecessary comma
I had just past the thresh hold of no return = should be "passed" (not past) and "threshhold" (one word)
or lack there of = thereof
I guess the doubt had always been there residing within me. In some small, dark hole within my very soul, telling me what we believed, what we were doing, was wrong. = you've got a fragment in that second sentence, but it looks like it might've been meant to be one sentence here with a comma - this is REALLY good imagery, love it.
That aside, on to the main review: I like how you've characterized him, the idea of being simultaneously frightened and intrigued by the reality of the Death Eaters and Voldy, I think that's really spot-on. The way you portray his fear is really well done also. Is Snape Draco's godfather in this story? I'm guessing so since you mention Headmaster etc. The passage of time is handled well in the story too, and jumping time periods with each paragraph is tricky, so nicely done :) Your writing is clean, I like how you don't overdo it on the description or flowery imagery, it's just the right amount to show you without being cloying, if that makes sense.
"the very room where all the darkness began for me" - Oooh, nice one!
Overall it's a very nice piece. I'm not familiar with the song, but you used the lyrics effectively. Well done!
WTMAuthor's Response: Thanks for the read and the review!! I shall fix those errors and resubmit. I hate grammar with a passion, lol. Thanks again!
~Celtic~ Report Review
Awww. Read the whole thing in one go (sorry, this is the only review, cause I'm a crap reviewer) and enjoyed it thoroughly. It was very cute, totally fascinating, and I love Henry and Adelaide together. Great job! I love how fully you made the Southern Cross school come to life, and New Zealand. Love the kids and teachers there, their informality and silliness was a lot of fun. Also, you totally had me poking around on wikipedia for almost half an hour during the first chapter looking up kakapo and following links to assorted other NZ creatures. But it was awesome because when you mentioned the Haast's eagles I was like "Hey! I know what that is!" because of it. Winning. So, it was lovely, nice way to spend the morning, thank you for writing and sorry I only left one review. :)Author's Response: asdfghjkl. I honestly nearly died when I saw your name on this review - you're one of my favourite authors on the archive and just...wow. Thank you so much!
I've loved the reception this story's gotten - either Kiwis excited to see all the references to home, or people from overseas, like yourself, who have learned something about NZ through it - it's very exciting, and who doesn't love to show off their country? :P Good on you for wikipedia-ing all those NZ creatures, I loved working them in and I'm glad all those references aren't lost on those outside NZ :)
You are very, very welcome, and thank you for the one review because it completely made my day :) Report Review
So, today I read a very unsatisfactory romance novel. It left me feeling quite dissatisfied. Getting on HPFF to see you had posted a new story was the perfect antitode. And as per my expectations, you managed in 5000 words to achieve (with aplomb!) what the book failed in 300 pages. Fantastic emotional description. Did you pick the spider-guilt analogy specifically because of Ron's arachnophobia? It worked great. I loved Ron's fantasy of interrupting Hermione's imaginary wedding, and then realizing it's better to skip to that part right away. Maturity hits at last! Haha. This was a very fun one-shot; a nice bit of angst peppered with sweeping romance. I love a good Declaration Of Love. Very sweet! And it left me with the delicious good-romance-novel feeling that I always get from your Romiones. Delicious.
Two grammatical nitpicks:
Past-you has laminated your eternal agony = lamented
there's no way it hell you're = in hell
Favorite line: "There's a part of you that's on fire, ignited and reborn from her kiss." *sigh*Author's Response: I'm sorry you didn't like your book, it really sucks when you're excited to read something and that happens. Uhg. I am glad, however, that you liked this so much, and that I was able to give you the sigh feeling that I always strive to.
I did purposefully do the spider analogy, and I'm really glad you noticed that! I think out of all the things that could be a metaphor for guilt, spiders are the best ones to use for Ron. Especially in such a significant situation.
The wedding situation is actually the idea that this entire story stemmed from, so I'm glad you noticed/liked it. I doubt Ron will ever be fully mature( ;] ), but I don't really think he'd want to be, either, so that takes care of that issue!
Thanks for R&Ring! Sorry about the typos... grrr. I can't win with those guys. ~writergirl8 Report Review
*swoons* LOVE. LOVE IT! You are brilliant and awesome. This is my favorite chapter. Sheer fabulous romance.Author's Response: So, this was seriously one of the most exciting things to hear...because YOU are brilliant and awesome! Especially when it comes to romance. :)
Thank you so much! I'm thrilled you liked the story, and particularly this chapter. Report Review
You have the contents of chapter 26 copied into this chapter, so you wind up duplicated. I'd love to read 25!Author's Response: Thank you so much, Oh Purple One, and I'm sorry for being absolutely horrible and taking this long to reply! Report Review
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