Reading Reviews From Member: momotwins
496 Reviews Found

Review #26, by momotwinsAcanthus: Spectrum

25th April 2014:
Nice start! I like your characterization of Rose, and the plot intro is great and really works with how you've set up her inner life. Really liked it :)

Author's Response: Wow, it means so much to me for an author like YOU to say, I'm just squeeing way too much now, so I'm going to end it here before I sound weird, but thank you! ♥

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Review #27, by momotwinsLoved One Lost: Loved One Lost

27th December 2013:
Oh my gosh, I loved this. So cute. So perfect. So in character for everyone. Poor Crookshanks, getting Summoned probably isn't fun but it worked a treat! I really enjoyed your writing her. A cute story, great job :)

Author's Response: Thank you for the review. Glad you enjoyed it.

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Review #28, by momotwinsLife, Love and Laughter: Life, Love and Laughter

27th December 2013:
I totally cracked up at James making Albus drink the aging potion and then Albus sulking. Good times.

So this was super adorable and I really enjoyed it. I love an Arthur-centric story. You did well with him, and it was nice to see Kingsley make a cameo too. Perfect Weasley Christmas! The little Muggle or possibly future witch girl was cute too, and so sad, but the story still managed to be light-hearted. Well done!

Author's Response: Thanks!! I hold out hope for the little girl. I was a bone marrow donor once, it does work. Between that and a little secret help from St Mungo's, and Christmas blessings will continue!!!

Thanks for your kind words.

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Review #29, by momotwinsgone.: he wasn't gone.

27th December 2013:
Eeek so sad - but I love the way you structured the story. It was really interesting to read. Everything flowed nicely, with the bracketed bits chopping it up, if that makes sense. And oof the sad. Dude. Alastor's coldness was perfectly in character. And kudos to you for making Hestia be his partner. I was expecting Tonks and it was nice to see someone else. Hestia doesn't feature often in stories, so it's always good to see her. Great job, this is a very impressive entry!

Author's Response: Hello! Ah, I'm so glad you think it flowed well and the stylistic choices were good, because I was worried that with the bracketed bits chopping it up it wouldn't flow that well. :) Bahaha, sorry! I'm happy you think Moody was well characterised, and I thought Hestia would be better for this story. She's more minor, so I could give her a more caring, empathetic personaliy that's better for the plot. ;) Thank you for this lovely review!

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Review #30, by momotwinsI Missed You: I Missed You

27th December 2013:
Aw, I liked this! This is a ship I can get behind. I love that they weren't all sappy, they just snark at each other and then quietly admit some real feelings. Very nicely written! Great job!

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Review #31, by momotwinsHe Kept Christmas Well: He Kept Christmas Well

27th December 2013:
Ah I'm so glad you gave this a happy ending. I was afraid at first he was going to be dead and I would have to throw things at you. Just kidding. Ginny/Harry is one of my favorite ships - I really like them together, and I think she's well suited to him. Ginny in the books is the only one to get through to Harry at his worst temper tantrums and despairs, so I like that you brought that to this story - she gets through to his broken memory. Ah love. I'd make an ASCII heart at you but it messes up the review box. I really enjoyed this story!

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Review #32, by momotwinsBroken Silence: Long Nights

27th December 2013:
Wow, Dominique is out of control selfish and crazy. Holy crap. I wanted to smack the crap out of her, what a little brat! Poor Victoire and Teddy. They should've just told her off. Somebody needs to tell her that not everything is about her. Victoire really took all the blame, if only in her own head, I hope her parents didn't make like it was her fault. She and Teddy did nothing wrong.

Man you got me totally emotionally invested. I want to smack Dominique upside her head! haha. Nice job.

Author's Response: Oh wow! Thank you for the lovely review!! And coming from such a great author! My jaw is hitting the ground! Wow! I can't believe its really you!! *excited squeal!!* Anyway...

I'm glad you were emotionally invested :) That completely made my day and was the one true point of the story! Dom's just a drama queen, I hope you don't hate her too much :) But, thank u for the wonderful review!

I still can't believe its you!! :D

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Review #33, by momotwinsPolaroids: Let me In

27th December 2013:
Oh man, this is seriously tragic. First a squib, then died young, leaving behind a very young wife. Hell of a lot to deal with. I like your version of Astoria, and I think having a son without magic might be good for Draco. Knock his ego down a few pegs. It's nice that you didn't have him disown his son, I like that. Very sad story! I hope it turns out Scorpius's wife was preggers before he died. I like a happy ending though, so I may be looking for one that's not intended.

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Review #34, by momotwinsWaltz: Waltz

25th December 2013:
OCD is tough. Poor Rose. And poor Scorpius, his speech disorder really touched me. I don't know if you know this, but my kids have a speech disorder - childhood apraxia of speech. They've gone to speech therapy since they were 18 months old, and didn't speak until they were 4. So characters with speech difficulties really get to me. His stutter breaks my heart. I know how awful it is for them not to be able to get the words out.

Rose is a bit of her mother, but with the OCD amplifying Hermione's tendencies toward neatness and order and precision. And I like that the mistletoe has an opt-out, even if it's a bit of a temper tantrum about it. The forced-mistletoe-kiss thing is a bit uncomfortable - forced affection is not cool - though I get the plot device use of it. Of course, for poor Rose, the idea of the glitter is horrifying. And Scorpius is so precious trying not to show he's upset at her refusal to kiss him.

I loved this. I really did. It was adorable and sweet, made me choked up and smile at the same time. I kind of want to go cry but I'll stop myself, cause they kissed and it was sweet. Great job. Merry Christmas, hon.

Author's Response: Oh WTM. I know I've already told you this in several locations before now, but this review has just completely melted my heart. Really, there's nothing more rewarding than to hear your writing has touched somebody on such a personal level. I knew that your kids did face some challenges, but I wasn't certain of the specifics until now. I can only imagine how difficult it must be to have these fully formed thoughts in your head but be unable to communicate them with ease. But you know what? The more I wrote this Scorpius - and this Rose, too - the more in love I fell and the more appreciative I grew of any person struggling with these sorts of things. I'm just so pleased that it moved you. *hugs*

You know, you're actually the first person to acknowledge the Hermione-Rose influence. I'm glad you picked it out! I came up with the idea of having an OCD character before I knew who that character was, but Hermione is a big part of why Rose felt fitting for the part. And I am SO with you on the mistletoe thing. I was absolutely tempted to use that popular trapped version for a bit, too, because it was the first time I was writing a story that dealt with mistletoe, but the more I thought about it, the less comfortable I felt about two people being forced to kiss. So I changed it to 'What would be the worst situation for someone with OCD to go through, just about?' Glitter-bombing felt right. haha

Oh man, this review. You're too wonderful; I'm so touched. No crying on Christmas, though, WTM! *hugs* I'm very moved by this review and I feel very honored that a writer of your caliber enjoyed it so much. Thank you a thousand times over for this. I hope your Christmas was just wonderful. :)

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Review #35, by momotwinsI Always Liked Your Pigtails: The Party

25th December 2013:
As a possessor of dirty blonde hair myself, I feel Hannah's pain there. Poor thing, she doesn't have much self-esteem, does she? I'm glad Susan took care of her after the battle. It's good to have friends like that.

Wow that Ravenclaw girl was nasty. What a jerk, and other words that aren't 12+. Neville sounds like he's had a rough time of it too - good job with giving them a solid connection there. Ohh her telling Neville how she liked him and that he was brave, super cute. I'm officially shipping it. YAy they kissed!

I like how you wrote them, and it was very sweet. Merry Christmas!

Author's Response: Aw, thank you so much. I had almost given up hope that anyone liked my story so you have officially made my day, if not my week :). I am so glad that you read it, liked it, and reviewed.
Thank you and happy holidays!

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Review #36, by momotwinsOperation Mistletoe: Operation Mistletoe

25th December 2013:
Aww poor James trying to catch Lily under the mistletoe and not managing it. And his friends giving him crap about it XD That made me laugh. Remus has a point, though, and good for him for speaking up about it, even if it didn't stop them. I love how sarcastic they are. "It's like magic" cracked me up.

I'm glad James stopped when he had her pinned and saw her distress. I think you did well writing it that way - because as stupidly teenage-boy-full-of-hormones-and-impressed-with-himself as he is, he is a good person at heart and really does care for Lily. He knew he was doing the wrong thing and stopped, and then apologized too. Nicely done. And look, it worked out for him in the end, cause he still got the kiss, and now she doesn't think he's quite as big a prat.

Great job, I really enjoyed it. Merry Christmas!

Author's Response: Thanks heaps for your merry review! I do sympathise with Remus, he seems a bit disapproving and exasperated by their actions but he refuses to ever confront them about it (as they are accepting of him).

A lot of fanfiction on this site has James being immature and pranking her to get her attention and so I wanted to focus on a turning points of sorts where he starts gaining her attention positively and realising that maybe he's been going about things wrong. Glad you appreciated it :)

Thanks so much!

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Review #37, by momotwinsOh Dear, Christmas Cheer: Finishing the List

25th December 2013:
Yeah, Christmas shopping as an adult is tougher. It's easier when you're a kid. And men shopping, *sigh* Yep. Nailed it.

Love James wanting to drive everywhere. That's hilarious. Interesting that you made Scorpius and James best friends instead of the usual Scorpius and Albus. Sort of a refreshing change there :) I really enjoyed your characterizations; all the Next Genners you wrote were really well done. I like "Madam Pimpernelle's", too - I do love the Scarlet Pimpernel so I hope you were referencing it!

Ahahaha I died laughing at Rose buying Gilderoy's book for her mom! *high five*

Really cute, I loved the kiss. Great story! I'll have to go look for more Next Gens from you. Merry Christmas!

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I am very glad you enjoyed it. I like James and Scorpius best as friends it just works for me so im glad im not the only one. Yay! I'm funny!
Thank you so much for the review! And a merry merry christmas!

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Review #38, by momotwinsHolly and the Mistletoe: Holly and the Mistletoe

25th December 2013:
Awww house elf love! Oh they're so cute! You wrote this really well, really brought them to life. Holly is a great character, and you did well with Dobby. I love the idea of him having a little elf girlfriend. Super cute. Loved this story, great job and merry Christmas!

Author's Response: Hello! :) Aw, thank you so much, I'm so glad you liked it and found the little elves cute. I loved writing Holly (I've always wanted to write a house elf story!) and giving Dobby some romance around Christmas.

Thank you for the lovely holiday review, and merry Christmas to you as well! :)

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Review #39, by momotwinsclose your eyes, listen on up.: under the mistletoe.

25th December 2013:
I like the style you wrote this in. It's very informal, like the narrator sat us down and poured some coffee and told the story. The four year olds were sweet, made me smile, and oh man, the potion accident :( How awful. I do love the idea of her wearing whatever and not caring, rather than carefully planning and coding her wardrobe so she knows what she's wearing. It's sort of pleasantly chaotic to picture her in hand-knitted ugly sweaters and neon t-shirts.

The progression of the story is great, really natural. Lily's reasoning for staying behind makes tons of sense, and her internal narrative feels very realistic. I like Caitlin, her comment about the bee between the lips was funny and witty. And I loved the enchanted mistletoe, it's perfect for Hogwarts. Aw they're super cute. You're a good writer! I really like this story, your descriptions and dialogue are fantastic, and you convey emotion really well. What an adorable story! Merry Christmas!

Author's Response: I'm glad you liked it! This was one of those fics I didn't really think too much about writing - I didn't plan it or know where it was going when I started, and I didn't edit it much, so I think that probably lead to the informal kind of style. I really was just trying to tell a story over a cup of coffee, haha, I like that way of putting it :P

With the wardrobe thing, at first I thought maybe Lily would only own jeans and grey t-shirts or something so she always knew she was co-ordinated, but I thought about how boring that would be and decided to make her a chaotic and uncaring dresser instead. I think it's more fun and it doesn't exactly matter to her anyway, and it kind of shows that she's embraced her disability, rather than feeling too hard done by she's learnt how to live with it well. I'm glad you liked that about her :)

When I started writing this for some reason I really thought the enchanted mistletoe was canon? I quickly realised I had either made that up in my head or read it somewhere else and absorbed it like I thought it was in the books, but I decided to keep it in, so I'm glad you think it worked and fit with Hogwarts :D

Thanks so much for reviewing! This was such a nice review to get!


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Review #40, by momotwinsMistletoe Mishaps: Christmas Trickery

25th December 2013:
Ah, the Sirius pun. I don't think I've ever seen Bellatrix being the one making it before! I liked Andromeda's appearance in the story - she's definitely already met and fell for Ted Tonks.

Oh jeez, Bellatrix is trying to catch VOLDEMORT under the mistletoe? I want to hide behind a couch at the thought. OMG. She's only 16, so Voldy would be 41 - cause he's 25 years older than her - which makes it even more squicky.

I almost died when it turned out to be Sirius messing with her. Best plot twist ever. I'm cracking up here. It's not rushed, it's the perfect length for the content, and you wrote it well. Great job, Merry Christmas!

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I woke up this morning to such an awesome review :)

I thought that it would be rather coincidental to have Bellatrix use the Sirius pun, them being sworn enemies. Yep, Andromeda has already fallen for Ted. I'm really glad that you picked up on that, I was hoping that people would notice.

Haha, it wasn't any secret that Bellatrix was practically fawning over Voldemort in the books so I just decided to take it one step further. I agree, it is VERY creepy :P
I'm very happy that you enjoyed the story and the plot twist. Thanks so much for the lovely words of encouragement!

Merry Christmas to you too (although I fear I am a bit late!)

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Review #41, by momotwinsBig Meanie: Big Meanie

25th December 2013:
This was very sweet, and you did good writing from a child's point of view without being so childish it's unreadable, if that makes sense - it felt right for his age. The idea of Harry mimicking Hermione's voice while he tells stories is really hilarious, I love it. I guess Theo is a friend/co-worker of Harry's? This was a really cute story, good job with it :) Merry Christmas!

Author's Response: I thank my five siblings for being able to try and write children. It helps. I think things would be different otherwise. :P

I like the idea of Harry being the one telling stories and doing voices and just being a normal person doing normal dad-type stuff. He deserves it. I'm glad you liked it, too.

Yeah, Theo was his partner in Auror training until the third year, when he specialized to become a hit wizard. They've been friends for a while. :)

Thank you so much for the lovely compliments and for leaving a review.


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Review #42, by momotwinsMerry Christmas: The Winter Air

25th December 2013:
I feel bad for Eleanor, coming into that party seems really uncomfortable for her with all the drunk people making out. :/ But when they danced - ha, Sirius totally went to dance classes and is embarrassed about it. And the kiss was cute. Nice job, merry Christmas!

Author's Response: Thank you very much! Hope your Christmas was swell and that you have a happy new year! :)

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Review #43, by momotwinsRemembrance : Remembrance

25th December 2013:
Oh, poor Hannah. I think she's got some PTSD from the battle, and who can blame her? It'd be a horrible thing to live through, especially for a teenager. Thinking of all the people she saw die, man. Something about this prompt really brought the tragedy out! All the entries are sad! I don't remember a Wayne in canon - have I missed someone or is that an OC from your story?

This was sad, but it was nice to see Hannah starting to open up to the possibility of getting better at the end. Maybe she'll heal after all. Nice job, I enjoyed your writing. Merry Christmas!

Author's Response: Hey! Thank you for your lovely comments. She definitely got some severe PTSD from the war and it's taken some time to come to the point she's at now. But she's been plagued by all her friends who fought in the war and seeing their cold faces stare up her. I was reminded a lot when I was writing this of my grandfather who, although did not have PTSD, would shake his head from some of the more senseless deaths from WWI and 2 and always wonder why. I could see how he was affected by it, and I suppose that has become part of my writing. As someone who was a part of the resistance in Hogwarts and part of the Battle of Hogwarts, I can only imagine certain things would stay with you. Certain questions would continue to get stuck in your mind. Questions that probably could never be answered.

Wayne Hopkins was a Hufflepuff in Harry's year. He was only in drafts and I think he was mentioned on Pottermore. He wasn't in the books though. So, he's canon if you take JKR's notes and Pottermore.

Saying all this, i didn't want a story completely without hope. For the prompt, I wanted to write something that was a changing moment for her, even if it was small. I wanted there to be some growth where she realizes that things cannot keep going as they have been. This story, her accepting and realizing that Ernie can't save her (also opening up to her being with Neville later I suppose), is a sort of awakening.

Thank you so much for taking the time to review, i really appreciate it!

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Review #44, by momotwinsShould Old Acquaintance Be Forgot: Of New Year's Resolutions

25th December 2013:
You've called me cruel and mean, so I hope you don't mind a review from me.

You write dialogue well, and your grammar is mostly very good. Not sure why Draco and Hermione are co-workers, since it's not specified what they do for a living - so I assume this is part of a series you write on these characters? I'm glad Hermione found her parents, though it was sad that they won't remember her. :/ I would hope she could break through the enchantments eventually, poor thing.

Merry Christmas.

Author's Response: momotwins,

Oh, my... It's you? I can't believe it. Here you are on Christmas Day leaving little completely unexpected gifts for so many of us. Aren't you supposed to be on Staff Vacation? Please allow me to retract once and for all... What you are is Extraordinarily Dedicated! And my stars, I honestly feel terrible that it was a Dramione, as I know of your dislike for the ship.

Truly, I don't know how you read so much that you have no interest in whatsoever. Bless your heart for doing it. I'm being completely sincere here, knowing that you have a tough job that I don't think I could do.

As far as your review... Thank you very much for your compliment to me as a writer.

The story mentions a law firm, but since there was a word count max, I decided not to dwell on the 'why' they worked together as I didn't see it too important to the New Year's Eve storyline, so that's why it is not spelled out in any details. (No series from me). :)

Hermione's parents: Well, my stories generally explore what I feel to be extremely sad, with a tad bit of hope injected at the end. It's what I enjoy writing (and reading). Yes, poor Hermione.

Merry Christmas to you too and Happy New Year. I mean that sincerely and thank you for all that you do on this site. I know it doesn't run by itself. There are real people behind it, keeping it going with not much recognition for their time and efforts in doing so. Please know that this is understood and appreciated by me, for sure.

And one more thing... I'm not sure if Jay really is sending you all to a ski chalet somewhere. I can't tell if it is true or if it's equal to someone sending you a really big virtual cookie. But I certainly hope it is true. You are very well deserving.

I truly wish you well and I thank you for your hard work and your completely surprising, honest review.

Much appreciated,
Dark Whisper

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Review #45, by momotwinsYou, Traitor: You, Traitor

25th December 2013:
Wow. I think this is the best Peter Pettigrew perspective I've ever read. His love for his friends and rationales for betraying them, his slow descent to the dark side, his sense of self-preservation that overrides all his other loyalties. He wants to be rewarded for the betrayal and thinks he deserves it, and yet still he thinks of himself as their friend. He's smart enough to be a schemer and a hanger-on, and plan ahead for his own well-being. Wow. It's amazing, you really got inside his head. And Percy's motivation in wanting a pet, something of his own that he doesn't share with his brothers (though later, of course, Ron inherits it), is really good as well.

I really enjoyed this, I think you did wonderfully! Merry Christmas!

Author's Response: Wow. Coming from such a talented author like yourself, that's a wonderful comment to hear - thank you! I've read a few stories that depict Peter as someone stupid who relies on the Marauders, and that portrayal's never really sat comfortably with me so I'm really pleased that I've managed to depict him realistically. And yes, Percy's sort of the odd one out amongst his siblings, so I like to think that he found a friend through his pets - first Scabbers and then Hermes.

Thank you for reviewing - especially on Christmas Day! Wow! What a lovely present ^.^

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Review #46, by momotwinsResolute: Resolute

25th December 2013:
I think you did really well writing Voldemort's perspective. I liked his confidence that he didn't need assistance of a magical kind and never would, because it gives his actions in DH (when he's so desperate for the Elder Wand) an interesting twist. I also like that he mentions Dumbledore doesn't praise him - seems in keeping with canon. Dumbledore wouldn't have wanted to encourage him.

For some reason, the idea of young Voldy stealing library books seems totally in character. He's just the type, isn't he? He'd feel entitled to whatever he wanted. Also the bit with the Head Girl's owl is dead-on Voldy - right up his alley.

Fascinating piece, spooky and very well written. Great job, I enjoyed it! Merry Christmas!

Author's Response: Hey there! Thanks so much for stopping by! I absolutely adore your work, so I'm so bowled over that you came by and liked it! :)

I'm so glad you liked the way I wrote him since I was a bit worried tackling him since he's such a big character and I didn't want to get him wrong.

Mahaha, he really is! He thinks he deserves it, he really does. I based a lot of his characterisation on lists of psychopathic traits, so I'm glad you thought it worked out! :)

Thank you so so much for all the lovely compliments and the great review! Belated merry Christmas to you too! :)

Aph xx

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Review #47, by momotwinsThis year will be my year.: This year will be my year

25th December 2013:
Writing from Voldemort's perspective is tough. You did a good job with it. I think you captured his self-focus and lack of empathy, and his assurance that he knows his followers so well and can see their every thought really sets up his trust of Snape.

Also I bet Snape was thinking some snarky things when Voldy said he was no match for his Legilimency. Haha, that's what you think. :p

Definitely not a cheerful Christmas story, but hey it went with the prompt! Good job and merry Christmas!

Author's Response: Hi there, christmas was great, but (as always) boxing day was even better!

thanks for the review, I do write happy stuff normally, everynow and then though somethign like this sneaks out!
I am glad you took the time to read through it though!
AHve agreat new year!

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Review #48, by momotwinsThaw: Thaw

25th December 2013:
"The thing about Lycanthropy, however, was that the worst came round again like clockwork." "Certain darknesses will vanish you, as if the turning of the earth was a spell." Holy crap. Great writing.

This is really well written, both in content and mechanics - your grammar is wonderful, the writing style is very natural, and the story flows beautifully. Really a great piece of writing. I'm very impressed. It's so sad and poignant. And I love how you turn a phrase.

Poor Remus. This is just so miserable for him, and his family tries so hard to make it better, to make it normal. Ack so awful and sad. And well written. Really great job, Merry Christmas!

Author's Response: Thank you so much! :D I'm really glad you liked it (ooh, I'm blushing a bit as I read this). I wrote it after reading about Lupin's life story on Pottermore, which was like the internet equivalent of being kissed by a Dementor. I never thought I'd be happy again. And thus an angsty one-shot was born.

Thanks for the review! ♥

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Review #49, by momotwinsTwo: A Perfect Blend: Blended Christmas

25th December 2013:
Love the pie eating contests - and that their wives won't let them do it if they catch them. ;) Made me grin. I really loved your touches of canon mentions - the Grangers not liking her to eat sugar, George's fireworks, Molly putting up a token argument.

The contrast with Scorpius's Christmas memories was great - his seem so stark and sterile next to the Weasleys. I think it's really in keeping with the Malfoys. Poor Scorp.

I LOVE that Neville is the one who told them about the Room of Requirement. That's just great, and really creative, I've never seen anyone write that bit before. I really want to know what Rose gave him though!

This is really sweet and adorable, I think you did great. Everyone is in character and it's got a great Christmas, romantic feel. Merry Christmas!

Author's Response: Thank you. :) I'm glad you like the little details.. I like to think they give unique little touches to the story. Since I love reading about them I do endeavour to write about them as much as I'm able. My only problem is word count.. I do have the tendency to ramble and this one asked me to keep it below 4000. And believe me, with the choice I'd have written way more than that. HAHA.
The bit about Neville was my favorite because I love Neville! If I had found a way I'd have inserted Luna more prominently as well but alas lacked space to do so. :)
I honestly have no idea what Rose gave him. That's why I didn't have him open up the gift. In my head canon Albus told Rose that Scorpius was coming and dropped bomb-sized hints that he didn't receive gifts and in her carelessly kind way bought him a gift. But what would you give a guy you knew had everything and you weren't friends with anyway? I couldn't answer the question so I just used the gift thing as a 'symbol' haha.
I'm glad you liked it since I had way too much fun writing this one. Thanks for the awesome review.


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Review #50, by momotwinsA Home for the Holidays: A Potter Family Christmas

25th December 2013:
Poor Sirius, he's so awkward and he doesn't know how to be part of a family for a holiday. Aww wee lamb. And James's dad helped him learn to Apparate. Oh this makes me so sad and happy for him at the same time - sad that he's never had parents who love him and happy that he found the Potters, you know? I loved James in this too, he's so adorably childlike and enthusiastic. It's just perfect.

I like your writing style - you do description well, and your characterization and dialogue are very natural. Great job, I liked this story a lot :)

Author's Response: Thank you!! I loved writing this piece. I really am interested in James and Sirius's interactions and plan to do some more just because I have this image in my head of what things were like between them. Thanks again for the awesome review!

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