Reading Reviews From Member: petitesorciere
  
43 Reviews Found

Review #1, by petitesorciereLife Must Go On: Calix Capax

8th June 2011:
I'm really glad you've got another chapter up for this! I really like the idea of having Hermione and Draco paired up (which I assume is where this is going, but I'm more than happy to be proved wrong!), and especially in this DADA class, which you seem to have made really different to the usual ideas, which again makes sure that you can take this in some very unusual situations. I saw your response to my other review - I swear there used to be a message option but it seems to have gone. If you want, email me at clevergurl(at)gmail(dot)com (don't ask, seriously old account), and we can work out a beta thing. petitesorciere xx

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Review #2, by petitesorciereLife Must Go On: Discoveries and Good news

7th June 2011:
Just thought I'd return the favour for the review you gave me for 'The Hidden Garden'. Now, I can see this is your first story, and I do not want to discourage you from writing in any way, shape or form. When I look back at my earliest story, I realise how far I've come, and I think that as you become more confident with the characters and your own style of writing, you will really be able to take the story exciting places. You've also left yourself a lot of space for this story to grow, and I am quite interested to see where you'll take it. One of the things I would say, is that you should definitely consider getting a beta. There are quite a few grammar and spelling errors in this, which can be a little distracting. It might also be worth seeing if you can get a beta who would be willing to help you with the flow of your words, as at some points, it can seem a little stilted/overly informal for the character. You can get a beta from the HPFF forums here at harrypotterfanfiction, or fanfiction(dot)net have a whole section dedicated to betas. Alternatively, I do have a little free time at the moment, and I would be happy to proofread your chapters and give you a little advice on them if you wanted (if you do, just send me a message through my author page and we'll work something out). Of course, please feel free to disregard that suggestion - I don't want you to feel like you are inadequate as a writer, because you certainly aren't. I just feel a little guidance might help you at the start. But as I said above, this story really does have a lot of potential, and I really think you ought to continue with it, and just see where you can take it! petitesorciere xx

Author's Response: Thank-you very much for the information. I understand that sometimes my writing doesn't flow. I've had that problem for quite a while, and even though I've gotten better at writing research paper and such, this is definitely not the same. I would love a beta reader, and I actually tried to send you a message about it, but I can't seem to find the message button. But thank-you so much for the support.

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Review #3, by petitesorciereHermione and Draco: A Love Story: Are We Going Back Or Not?

30th May 2011:
When you're reading the first chapter of a story that hasn't been reviewed yet, it's always a bit of a gamble - you never know whether it'll be any good or not. Fortunately, I'm really glad I read this one - I think there's going to be so much that you can do with this, and I'm really interested to see where you take the characters wit this. You've managed to get all the characters fairly spot on, and it was nicely descriptive without being overly flowery. The one thing I would say is to pay attention to the spelling and grammar. I know what it's like - you get so wrapped up in typing quickly that some things just skip by. I would suggest maybe getting a beta just to check the grammar over. But overall, an excellent first chapter!

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Review #4, by petitesorciereHappy New Year In Malfoy Manor: Happy New Year In Malfoy Manor

12th January 2009:
I was going to say that the speech was a bit formal, but then I read the other reviews and realised that English wasn't your first language, so that probably accounts for that. I thought it was such a great effort for a first story, and I really enjoyed it! x

Author's Response: Thank you for the review!:) I'm happy you liked it!:)


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Review #5, by petitesorciereIt's Over Now: Take a Bow

3rd May 2008:
aw that ending is so sweet! Like you said, it's canon so you could maybe picture Ron helping her get back to being herself after Draco was such an idiot. Loved the imagery of her picking at the paint on the door, and changing the paint colour. Great use of language, although maybe slightly more detail in their conversations in future? All in all, a great song-fic and a poignant little Dramione! x

Author's Response: thank you thank you thank you! I'm so glad you liked it! this was my first try at a dramione so I wasn't sure how exactly the conversations needed to be so I put it up hoping someone could help me out a little and you did! I will go back as soon as I can and put more into the dialog. thanks for reviewing!

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Review #6, by petitesorcierepushed beyond limits: Feelings for Malfoy

16th March 2008:
I didn't particularly like the trigger for the argument but I can appreciate why you needed to have it. As for Draco and Ginny, you've caught the contrast between a fiery red-head and a laconic blond very well. I just don't think Draco would have been as easily intimidated as he was in the potions class (but hey that's just my opinion lol). Anyway, carry on writing and I'll carry on reading and reviewing! Well done! x

Author's Response: I had fun writing the argument. I really like writing about people fighting. I don't know why but it's just fun. Just so you know, Draco and Ginny will probably act very out of character. I'll try to make them act normal but in some parts it gets really hard. Thanks again for comenting on my story!!! It really helps.

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Review #7, by petitesorcierepushed beyond limits: He's leaving

16th March 2008:
Very interesting. Ginny isn't usually a character that I write with so I'm not sure how she holds up. Your characterisation of Ginny and Harry seems excellent though. Just a couple of tiny grammar mistakes that could be changed (they were minor though, so I wouldn't worry about that), and it might have been helpful to put an asterisk or something when the narration changed from first person to third person. Other than that, a really good opening to what promises to be an interesting story. x

Author's Response: I haven't been putting things in 3rd person very much as I'm writing the story but I know at some point I will again. I'm not the best for picking up grammar mistakes at first glance so excuse my bad writing. Thanks for the review!!!

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Review #8, by petitesorciereThe Forgotten Room: The Game

5th March 2008:
aw, this is a really sweet story. I don't usually read Hermione/George (love my Dramione!) but this could be really promising. I was looking at your other reviews, and I do agree with what the others have said about grammar, points of view, maybe a little more detail - just to suck the reader into the story a bit more. But those are relatively cosmetic details. You have the bones of a really good story here, just build on it as much as you can! x

Author's Response: Kool. THanks Yeah I found a lot of errors and I am editing the chapters some more.

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Review #9, by petitesorciereArabesque: Of the Nature of the Ultimate Sacrifice

3rd March 2008:
such a brave sacrifice from Ron, and totally unexpected. I love Ron, even though I write and read Dramione, and it was so good to have a story where he is a noble hero rather than some idiotic little boy. A really good chapter (although that sounds completely trite and inadequate) x

Author's Response: I am not a Ron fan so I surprised myself with what happens to him ^_- I am very glad you enjoyed

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Review #10, by petitesorciere:

3rd March 2008:
I do love reading chapters like this where the relationship between Draco and Hermione has me squealing at how utterly precious they can be. And even if Harry was being a stubborn git, I still think it's a good idea he had...although if Draco was to offer his protection *sighs*. Well done, a really good chapter x

Author's Response: thnx thnx thnx....do keep reading

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Review #11, by petitesorciereHero/Heroine: Hero

27th February 2008:
Oh, that was so lovely. I am turning into a puddle of emotion! x

Author's Response: Thank you! :)

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Review #12, by petitesorciereBlurred: Chapter Two

18th February 2008:
ooh the plot grows thicker. I love the fact that Draco said 'you taste like him too', I did giggle. Anyway, really good chapter, well done. x

Author's Response: Thank you so much. I've been procastinating writing the next chapter.. but I have a day off tomorrow so I'll post it then. :)

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Review #13, by petitesorciere:

8th February 2008:
absolutely excellent. Well done, this is a really big improvement on the last couple of chapters: descriptive, smoother dialogue and expansion on the characters' feelings. And that fountain...cuter than a box of kittens. Brilliant! x

Author's Response: thank you...you people really will me to go on...next chap should be validated soon...keep pumping my spirits!!

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Review #14, by petitesorciereBelieve Me: Beyond Repair

6th February 2008:
gosh the intrigue is thick. I've really enjoyed this so far - I've read all 16 chapters in one go, and I can't wait for the next one - well done! x

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Review #15, by petitesorciereBelieve Me: The Birthday Party And Then Some

6th February 2008:
wonderful first kiss...especially the thing about it being wrong but feeling right, I loved that. x

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Review #16, by petitesorciereBelieve Me: Unexpected Encounter

6th February 2008:
oh...so sweet...you're turning me into a little pile of romanticized gloop. x

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Review #17, by petitesorciereBelieve Me: A Chat With Hermione

6th February 2008:
Oh my god, I love that...such a wonderful image of Hermione just ogling him while he stands there in a towel lol

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Review #18, by petitesorciere:

5th February 2008:
Sorry I didn't review the other chapters separately, but I start to repeat myself otherwise. I love the plot you've got going on here, and I feel so sorry for Hermione - you've described what's being done to her very well. I especially like the detail about her favourite teddy bear being destroyed - that suggests that the person knows her quite intimately (although I don't want to be guessing lol). Other reviewers have said this, so I'll just echo them: bit more detail. A wider use of language and slightly more description (maybe of feelings etc) will bring the reader much more into the situations you're portraying, making them empathise even more with the characters. And it's so irritating when people don't review, isn't it? Don't let it get you down, people will click eventually! x

Author's Response: thnk u soooo much 4 d wunderful review....it means a lot 2 me...thnk u 4 d advice..keep readin n reveiwing

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Review #19, by petitesorciereWe can work it out, can't we??: The Begining

3rd February 2008:
couple of grammar errors - if you need a beta, let me know, and I'd be happy to do it for you (clevergurl@gmail.com). But a really interesting idea (and I love rain in stories!), loved Hermione talking to herself and I'm looking forward to seeing where you go with the story! x

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Review #20, by petitesorciereBlurred: Chapter One

21st January 2008:
Glad you explained the 'Americans being smarter' thing lol - I was about to go off in a huff! Seriously, I thought this was a very good opening chapter - not at all slow. Very interesting main character (like the way you left the chapter with her nightmare and throbbing left arm). So if you carry on updating, I'll carry on reviewing!x

Author's Response: The last thing I want to do is offend anyone! The next update will be up shortly and thanks so much for reviewing!!

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Review #21, by petitesorciereFirst Date: After the Final Battle: Hogmaed

17th January 2008:
Ok, I thought it was a really sweet idea - lovely to have a plot where you get this idea of maybe their first date after the war, when things are more normal. However, it would be nice to have seen maybe a little more detail about how they were feeling? And the spelling and grammar needed a little bit of work. But I would definitely say stick with it - this is such a cute idea, and I'm sure you have lots more like it that you should get written out! If you do decide to write more, I'll beta for you - my email is clevergurl@gmail.com. Well done - x

Author's Response: thank for your review. you are my first one and if and when I write another storie I will send you my storie.

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Review #22, by petitesorciereA Perfect Charade: "Secrets Revealed"

15th January 2008:
You cannot leave it there - they have to work it out! I haven't been able to stop and review each individual chapter - I've loved it so much that I've just been squealing and going straight on to the next chapter. Well done, this is really really good,to say the least! x

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Review #23, by petitesorciereWalking barefoot all summer: Chapter four.

11th January 2008:
aw - this is just cuter than a box of kittens! Well done! x

Author's Response: Oh my, just the thought of a box full of kittens makes me grin at the cuteness! I love the analogy! Thank you! X

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Review #24, by petitesorciereArabesque: Of Black Satin Ribbon and Cold White Ice

4th January 2008:
I don't mean to sound rude - but please hurry up and write the next chapters! This is simply too brilliant! x

Author's Response: Thank you darling ^_^ The next one will go up soon

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Review #25, by petitesorciereFrom the eyes of a kitten: Messing with potions

4th January 2008:
aw that is just so cute! you have to continue with this, it has so much potential! x

Author's Response: Thanks.I have everything ready its just the queu that takes long.Thanks for reviewing.

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