I think this is beautifully written story and it seems really interesting to see how Bellatrix became the way she was. Are you going to include maybe some flashbacks or explain a little more in detail about the aforementioned angst and disatisfaction? It would clear up the story a lot more.

There were no noticeable spelling mistakes and the plot seemed to flow moderately well. Though I wish you would play more on Bellatrix's anxieties more. Otherwise this was a great story and I hope you will continue.

Seth

Author's Response: Yeah, I'll probably do that at some point during the next few chapters. Thanks for reviewing!
~R

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OK, I find that Harry is slightly out of character at first. When he talks about the werrewolf transformation it seems so immature, like he's bragging about it. And the previous life as a human thing is rather, how would you say this, erm...too familiar, I guess you could say? Like it's been used too much or the idea is used alot. As well as the inner-'monster' or demon and super-human powers. They just put me off as used too much. Otherwise it's a good story so far.

Seth

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There are some grammar/spelling mistakes in this chapter, though nothing that would overly hinder the comprehension of the reader. This story is slightly cliche in a loose sense of the word. It's just that there's always someone from the 'enemy side' so to speake, that wants to help the hero. And making the person a different species is slightly cliche as well.

As well as the main character, her abilities, like seeing the future whenever she wants and speaking through her mind are slightly Mary Sue-ish qualities.

Other than that, it seems like an interesting story to read. Though I suggest that you do not add a Harry/OC in.

Seth

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I apllaud your efforts! I never would have gone to the trouble to find actual real headlines to make it mroe realistic! Good job.

Was the person writing a novel a reference to JKR?

I think this was wonderfully written. The naiive innocence and ignorance is adorable!

Seth

Author's Response: Yes that is a reference to JKR, thanks for your review!

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OK, I first thought I'd mention the fact that some of the capitals are missing in the dialogue. I also suggest that you put Millicent's thoughts in italics so that the reader can differentiate her thoughts from what she's actually saying.

Other than those slight 'mistakes', I think that the story was quite nice, albiet sort of, awkward I guess. It just doesn't really seem to flow together. I think maybe you should add a little more to the chapter to explain the relationship between the two.

Besides that it was nice!
Seth

Author's Response: I see no reason to put her thoughts in italics as it is perfectly clear in the wording that she is thinking and not speaking. As for adding more to "explain" things, why? Anyone who knows Harry Potter and reads the story should be able to see that they are in the same house but they don't like each other....well at least in the beginning hehe

I am glad you liked it but I don't agree with your 'mistakes' sorry!

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Yay for mood swings and sarcasm! lol. I love your story. It's quite well written in my opinion. I am personally a fan of sarcasm myself and find the dialogue HIGHLY amusing. I like how you portray Prof Lupin cause you make him seem so different to the Lupin in the books. He seems so weak...like he's nothing compared to Dan.

I'm a bit confused about why Dan has all these anger problems and how you mysteriously refer to something that happened three years ago. All in good time, hopefully. I look forward to reading more. Keep it up.

Seth

Author's Response: I think Lupin is just a bit shocked by her at first, and he's not really sure how to handle her yet.

There is more sarcasm to come don't worry! lol

You'll find out more about her back story in coming chapters, promise!

Thanks for the review!

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I think this was really good! The emotion was very real, and it gives off a feeling so people can empathize and sympathize. It was great!

Seth

Author's Response: Thanks for your review Seth!

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I just want to point out a couple things:
1) The grammar and spelling kinda offs me because there were some mistakes that make it hard to read.
2) Lucius was a bit out of character. I think that his dialogue could have been a bit more sophisticated, and he's rarely puzzled and when he is, he hides it to show superiority.

Otherwise it was a good story!

Seth

Author's Response: Thanks for pointing that out to me! I will get working on it over the break.

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Oh, very good! I like that the grammar and spelling were correct mostly, it kills me to have to read something that doesn't make sense. The realization that the 'dream' was real was very nicely timed!

Seth

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I think the story was rather nice. There weren't grammar or spelling mistakes as far as I'm concerned. The 'history repeats itself' part is a bit overused but other than that, the story was well written.

Seth

Author's Response: thanks for the review!
Yes, the "history repeats itself" is cliched, but maybe there's a good reason why it's so overused? ;)

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Wow! This is was very good! I think you portrayed Draco pretty well, though Hermione was a bit out of character but you portrayed her well too! The emotion was very real, and the description was good! It's a great story!

Seth

Author's Response: Thank you! Mhmm, Hermione out of character? I will agree with you. Certain parts she was, certain parts she wasn't. But I do think that's how she would be if she really broke down. The whole benefits thing maybe a stretch.
But I'm so glad you liked the emotions! Thank you for reviewing...=)

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Hilarious! This is a great story! Plz continue!

Seth

Author's Response: Thanks.. Next chapter is in the making.

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Wow, how sad. I feel really sorry for Snape now. I like the descriptions of everything. It's great!

Seth

Author's Response: Thank you so much!! I'm glad you enjoyed the story and the descriptions in general. Thank you so much for the wonderful review !

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Wow. Ok, I'm a bit confused. How can Henry still be flirting with girls and be all distant and then suddenly out of nowhere propose? I'm a bit lost. But other than that it was a nice story.

Seth

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Well, I have to admit this was a rather nice story. I don't usually read Draco/Hermione all that much. But there is one thing that bothers me. Shouldn't Draco and Hermione develop their relationship before they go to Draco's room? Isn't that a bit too fast for a relationship? But nice story.

Seth

Author's Response: THanks for the review. I did think it was a bit fast but it was one of those situations were their feelings at been bubbling under the surface for awhile and it was the night before the final batle and emotions were running high. That was where i got the idea anyway.

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I think that this is rather mysterious. Quite good. But maybe if you were a bit more descriptive it would be better.

Seth

Author's Response: thanks, I'll work on that.

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Wow, that was sad. and cute at the same time.

This was really nice!

SEth

Author's Response: Thanks for the nice comment =D

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Interesting second chapter. Seems that there's more to the story now. Please continue.

Seth

Author's Response: No problemo, Goodbye is typing as I type. :D
Lolita

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Well, I guess that was a nice chapter. I like how there isn't any spelling mistakes.

I think it was a bit fast-paced but other than that rather nice.

Seth

Author's Response: Thanks, me and Goodbye are such procrastinators but we try thanks :D
Lolita

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Well, I guess it's nice I guess.

Maybe a bit too sudden with all the illness. And the apology from Lily. Kinda awkward. But otherwise it was nie.

Seth

Author's Response: Thanks for reviewing. The illness had to be at the start :)

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Oh that's sweet. Though it gets a bit repetetive if you do it with both Severus and James. But overall it's nice.

Seth

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Oh, that was hilarious start! the inhuman screech rofl!

The end was rather um.interesting.

Seth

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Well, I think that was a BIT too drastic a change in Luna. But I think this story's ok. Keep it up!

Seth

Author's Response: Yes, everyone says that he he he but it has a reason to be like that!

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Scary.Wow. Big conflict.

Awkwardness between Romula and Wilkes. I like it. Please continue!

Seth

Author's Response: Thanks for reviewing! Hmm, there might be a character with a name similar to Hersilius in the real legend of Romulus and Remus. Maybe =P . I am definitely continuing!

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I like this story. It's a nice start to a good story I think. The Slytherin and twin thing is a bit overused but I think you pulled it off pretty well.

The end was sweet. And how you made Romulus into Romula was brilliant!

Seth

Author's Response: Thank you for reviewing! I know that the premise is fairly cliché, but I hope it's not too boring to read ;) . Glad you like the Romulus --> Romula change!

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