Reading Reviews From Member: Meg_
  
182 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Meg_If you only knew...: Chapter 2

29th November 2010:
Oh wow. I would not call this chapter a filler. This is most definitely not. Haha.

Again you need more description. These are just actions. I need thoughts, feelings, EMOTION! The only place I wouldn't put thoughts/feelings/emotion is this last bit with Ginny and Draco. I might beef it up description wise, but you definitely got your point across clearly enough with that scene! Well done.

Now you have a few grammar problems. Here is a good example: "I forfeit," she said with a smile, "you win."

That should be written as, "I forfeit," she said with a smile. "You win."

You have to add periods with the person completes a sentence that they are speaking. The comma is only used in dialogue when adding the "she said with a smile".

Anyway I generally like your plot and you've definitely established that there's multiple feelings and pairings. I think you need to gradually invite the reader into your pairings though. Sometimes the shock factor is a good idea. Like Hermione's dream that at first did not appear to be so. I was like, "Hot damn!" but then I realized it was a dream. So that immediately builds upon what you wrote in the previous chapter. The whole Malfoy and Ginny thing was again another shock factor. I may actually keep that but I might add a look or two or a mention of Malfoy in the first chapter or something. That way you have a reason for suspicion as a reader. I do have to say that the shock factor was still good for both. I personally am just a little hesitant to put two really hot kissing scenes in the same chapter from different couples. That doesn't mean I wouldn't ever do it. I'm just saying that by having the two in there you may be overloading the reader because right now it's like BAM! Hermione loves Harry still! BAM! Ginny is secretly cheating on Harry with Draco! It's just a lot of drama-ers to take in with one short chapter, ya know what I mean?

Granted, sometimes those chapters are very very necessary to set your story so I guess it just depends on how I see these next few chaps. You still have great dialogue and good characterization... maybe minus the Ginny cheating thing, but we'll see how you spin that before I judge.
~Meg

Author's Response: Yeah I was kind of going for the BAM! factor when I was writing this chapter. And thanks for the grammar tips...I never seem to have a perfect chapter lol. Well I hope you enjoyed the chapter at least? lol

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Review #2, by Meg_Dancing: Blind

28th November 2010:
Ok hello! So I have read at least the first two chapters of this piece! I reviewed and everything! Anyway I just read your third and fourth. I did like it, but I do have to say that I absolutely loved it as a tragic one shot!

Although I do have to say that you made Ron very honorable in this which is something that I love. Anyway good job regardless! It is incredibly ironic that they put the dancing scene in the movie when your one shot matches it pretty nicely... minus the dialogue of course.

I once heard that Joss Whedon starting reading fanfic for ideas on what to write for Buffy and Angel episodes. Wouldn't it be awesome if like Steve Kloves or David Heyman read HP fanfiction?!
~Meg

Author's Response: Wow thank you so much!! I had originally planned making this a one shot, but one of my readers pleaded me to continue it so somehow I managed to wrap it all up. Indeed it would be Steve Kloves read fanfiction. it's all so funny just how coincidental it was with the scene.

After I read that part in the book, I could'nt help but address the "you choose him comment" so this was my take on it. I appreciate that you gave it a read!


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Review #3, by Meg_My Light In Darkness: Hermione Granger

23rd October 2010:
Good chap... satisfying and yet not. You're at the height of this piece. Please keep up the momentum by continuing to crunch out the chapters.
~Meg

Author's Response: Thank you. I hope the not part is an effective writing technique as opposed to just bad writing :)
Thanks


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Review #4, by Meg_My Light In Darkness: Choices

28th September 2010:
THIS HAS BEEN SO FREAKING LONG!

Now with that said, even though it was incredibly short, I loved the chapter. That last paragraph in particular was incredibly poetic. The moving back and forth between the scenes was great too. Very movie like. I do have a problem with this spacing situation though. Your chapters are so good writing wise but then you have these huge spaces in between each paragraph and sentence. Do you use simple editor when you post your story?

Plotwise I'm loving it. Please do not go for so long without updating. It's killing me!
~Meg

Author's Response: I know! I feel such guilt! I'm trying to do it but my organized chaos system isn't working.
I'm glad you liked it. I especially had a soft spot for this chapter. It is one of my favourites. The last paragraph I think I changed four times, but I'm happy you liked the final product. Thank you!

I don't know why there are gaps, when I see the preview it looks perfectly ok. I will try and rectify it.

Thank you! It's a pleasure to receive continuous feedback from such a great writer
Thank you


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Review #5, by Meg_Photo: Photo

2nd September 2010:
This was a great one shot. Very powerful. Short and sweet just the way it should be. I've read a few fics about the whole day after scenario with Harry and many of them just couldn't capture it correctly. But you definitely have in just these few short paragraphs.

Anyway 10/10!
~Meg

p.s. I've missed your reviews over at Found/Lost You :) I've posted a few new chapters. The validation time is killing me though. I've posted chapter 11 and I'm currently writing chapter 17. Bahhh. I want you to read it. It's getting so good. At least it is in my head. Haha. Anyway loved your fic!!

Author's Response: Aww, thank you so much for this lovely review :) I'm really pleased that you like it. I feel the same about one-shots; short and sweet :D

and I've been working like 40+ hours a week and going to school where I get homework that I need to do... so I never feel like reading after. But I will get back to reading asap!

Thanks again for reviewing!


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Review #6, by Meg_Harry Potter and the Greatest Truth: The day after the End

25th August 2010:
Well done. I love the plot. Hermione slapping Draco was great. I thought she was going to be kind for a second with her touching his chin like that. I feel like you should've made that part a little more menacing instead of like talking to a small child.

As a side note you have a lot of spelling errors. Mostly with tenses. You've also put in that 'Harry released...' instead of 'Harry realized...' There's loads of other stuff in there. I would recommend going through it again and editing. It's a great chapter but the errors in verb tense are bad.
~Meg

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Review #7, by Meg_How Far Would You Go?: Chapter VI: Epilogue

23rd August 2010:
This might be mean... but I have to say I despise all epilogues that have to do with Harry Potter even ones that satisfy my ship. Liked the story though. I didn't much care for the Weasley bashing, but I like the concept of doing things dark for the one you love.
~Meg

Author's Response: Thanks again for reviewing!

In my original draft there was no epilogue, but I felt it needed it, just to tidy things up a little. I'm glad you enjoyed the story though.

Thanks again.

Aiden


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Review #8, by Meg_How Far Would You Go?: Chapter I: Motives and Plans.

23rd August 2010:
So I like this opening. The beginning and end Harry's thoughts are a little too Machiavellian for my tastes but I see how you are setting up the story. I did enjoy Hermione pushing him away and telling him that it was inappropriate because I can see that scenario happening for them while intoxicated. Anyway you have a few grammar and spelling errors that you might want to go back through and correct. Otherwise, I'm off to read the next chap.
~Meg

Author's Response: Thanks for the review! I thought I was pretty tight with the spelling and grammar but I will go back and check it through again.

Aiden


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Review #9, by Meg_Only Lily: Lily's Dreaming

23rd August 2010:
Bah I feel like we've digressed! The spacing! Your last chap was so fulfilling and this one was short and the spacing was crappy again.

Still I love the plot.

Also you spelled Lily wrong in your chapter title, you should probably fix that one. I'm interested for more, but I feel like you are not giving your writing the presentation it deserves. Your spacing is off and you occasionally incorrectly spell something. I'd definitely recommend getting a beta. You seem to have a great concept of plot and a good story arc. Fix your chapters and make them readable so that it presents a certain level of preparedness to your viewers.
~Meg

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Review #10, by Meg_Only Lily: Daddy's not home for Samiches

23rd August 2010:
Ok this is much much better! I'm very happy with the way this looks. You still have a few minor spelling errors in here. Also I'd like to comment that I think you have to work on the Luna characterization. She's very stiff it feels like in the chapter before this with the whole pillow throwing and now she's mentioning nargles again. You've got to find a balance. But I am loving the plot and the way this story flows. You are very good at making Lily a real four year old. A lot of writers have trouble writing a toddler but you are doing great with it. Anyway I'd give this a well deserved 8.
~Meg

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Review #11, by Meg_Only Lily: Four years later

22nd August 2010:
Ok so I'm sooo torn! I love the plot and the storyline! I love the way that you had him tell her too. By just handing her his ring. That was great writing.

EXCEPT you have all of these spelling mistakes all over the place. And you need to put entire lines of space in between certain paragraphs. Your plot is fantastic, but your errors deter a reader away from it. Please please go back and edit. This is already shaping up to be a great story and yet you've got these inconsistencies. Honestly I give you an 8 or 9 for plot, but due to your spelling and spacing problems that rating drops to like a 7 or 8. And I can see some readers turning away because of it. ESPECIALLY based solely off of your first chapter.
~Meg

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Review #12, by Meg_Only Lily: Prologue

22nd August 2010:
Ok this is a very interesting opening chapter. I'm gonna let you know that the spacing and the spelling errors make it hard to focus though. You've incorrectly spelled month into moth and you spelled Patronus wrong, you spelled it as patrones.

When you're pasting your work, switch to simple editor before hand and then copy and paste your stuff in there. That'll get rid of the spacing problems. Other than that you need to just edit. It's a very interesting start.
~Meg

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Review #13, by Meg_Guardian Angel: Forever yours

20th August 2010:
You've got many spelling errors that need to be fixed. First off your summary says his Ron which is a possessive. You use words like whi instead of why. And wo instead of who. This just needs to be relooked at for the amount of spelling errors.
~Meg

Author's Response: Yeah I know. I've all ready changed it but i'm waiting for it to be updated. Thank you for letting me know though.

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Review #14, by Meg_Realize: Let's Go From the Start

20th August 2010:
I'm giving it a 7. You've changed the movie a bit. I was kind of hoping that this story would be introduced in another light, in some other fashion. Your summary for the story does not seem to fit this opening, but whatever. It seems interesting right now. It's only like 600 words though so it's fairly short. I would post a second chapter soon because there's not much I can judge off of just this. I can tell you right now that by altering what was already in the movie that kind of sucks.

I don't mean to be harsh but I'd much rather have you tell me what's going on from Hermione's perspective inside of the Ministry but in the exact format of the movie. That makes the interpretation interesting instead of just adding what we know is your ship. But yeah that's just about the only thing I can base this off of since it's too short for anything more.

I'll read the next chap when it's posted but for now it's a 7.
~Meg

Author's Response: I'm not trying to rewrite the movie though. That's not the plot of the book. I took a scene from the movie, yes, but that's it.

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Review #15, by Meg_In Too Deep: In Too Deep

29th July 2010:
Wow raunchy... and yet not. I can't decide if I like the chapter or not. Well I mean I do like it, but I'm so anxious for the ball to drop ya know? Where's Voldy? The tension needs to build in that department and it's still the 17th chap! I feel like there's just a long way to go here. But I did enjoy them being together ;)
~Meg

Author's Response: Oh he'll be comin' round soon enough ;) You just wait.

Thank you for the review!


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Review #16, by Meg_My Light In Darkness: They Saw Her

21st July 2010:
This is getting super exciting. I really wish you could update faster. I absolutely love the story. I feel like you made Hermione perfectly dark and yet perfectly human still.

I'm glad you started making Ginny more aware. I feel like she was a bit of an idiot in the beginning but I actually like her right now.

Anyway I like the cliffy... that was a good one. Overall I give it a 9. Please update soon. I'm on pins and needles!
~Meg

Author's Response: I'm glad it isn't too slow, as I was worried about that :)
I'm struggling with Hermione, as I'm trying to find a balance between the light and the darkness. I tried to develop Ginny as a character, as I felt there wasn't enough in the books. So I wanted the tragedies to develop and shape her.
I love my cliffies ;)
Thank you!


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Review #17, by Meg_In Too Deep: Some Parties Are Worth the Torture

16th July 2010:
That was a fabulous chapter. The whole Fred mouthing go after him thing was great. I liked the banter you have between Fred and George and Ginny. The Mr. and Mrs. Weasley kiss was too cute also. I really felt like this chap was perfect. Granted, when the whole mistle toe thing came out I was convinced it was going to turn out corny, but it surprisingly wasn't. You handled it very well.

I'm off to read more. You've definitely impressed me.
~Meg

Author's Response: Aw thanks! I'm glad I have the talent to stay in the story and write corny moments in a non-corny way. That makes me sound amazing xD

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Review #18, by Meg_In Too Deep: Of Hangover Potions and Snowballs

16th July 2010:
Bahhh. I feel like this is how it would go in real life. The awkwardness, the flirtiness, and all. It's good, but frustrating. I want a hook up. Haha. Anyway I really like it thus far. I really loved the Dobby/Hermione moment. Dobby is awesome.
~Meg

Author's Response: Real life is filled with so much URST it's ridiculous! Stories actually tame it down most of the time.

Dobby rocks my socks. Pun intended.


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Review #19, by Meg_In Too Deep: Mission Possible

14th July 2010:
I like where it's going. I really really wanna see a darker Hermione. For some reason, I don't think she's dark even yet. Neither is Voldemort.
~Meg

Author's Response: Hermione is pretty dark in this story, but still has the same Hermione-like qualities that we all know and love. As the story goes on, you'll come to find that she's not as innocent and easy breezy as she seems early on. Since it's already imprinted in her brain that her way of life is the "right way" to go about things, she doesn't observe the things going around her as abnormal or worth thinking about, if that makes sense? Same with Voldemort; since he is very much like a father figure to her, she only sees the "good" side of him. That is, for now at least ;)

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Review #20, by Meg_In Too Deep: February 28, 1981

14th July 2010:
I have to say that I have seen this story up before and I have for some reason avoided it. But today I finally decided to sit down and go through it. I have to say that I am impressed with this first chapter. Also the banner for this chapter is amazing. It sets the perfect tone for the story.

Anyway I'm curious to see how you continue it. I'll keep reviewing as I go along. I'm off to the next chapter, but so far this is great.
~Meg

Author's Response: Aw thanks :) I've been neglecting to update it recently, but that's all changed now that summer's here!

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Review #21, by Meg_Identity Crisis: Chapter Two

14th July 2010:
Interesting... I'm scared for who her husband is going to be. I really am curious to see where you take this story. I liked the chapter though. I feel like it was very short. But anyway. Post soon.
~Meg

Author's Response: Of course, doesn't every author start small? I'll be sure to try and extend them! I'm glad that you liked the chapter.

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Review #22, by Meg_The O.C.: Welcome to the O.C.

6th July 2010:
I love the O.C!!! I was so excited to see a fic about it. I'm hoping you incorporate them equally because there's a lot of Harry stuff that I don't want to miss out on but also a lot of O.C. stuff that I wouldn't want to either.

I like the first chap. Off to the next.
~Meg

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Review #23, by Meg_Moon Fire: Midnight Rescue

6th July 2010:
Interesting. Liked it. I can't imagine the death eaters getting into the grounds like that... Also I thought they weren't released from Azkaban yet. I thought Voldemort breaks out Bellatrix and everyone else in the 5th book? Just wondering.
~Meg

Author's Response: That's in the books. But I'm not following them, so events occur at different times. So Bella is free and Lucius is a DE and so was Crouch Jr and they walked in no problem. As did Pettigrew. Personally, I don't think the wards on the school grounds are as good as they should be. The wards on the castle, maybe . . .

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Review #24, by Meg_Moon Fire: Midnight Confrontation

6th July 2010:
Is Ron ever going to make an appearance? I don't know if Hermione would give up that information so easily by the way. At least a sentence or two of coaxing I feel should have been in there. She knows how much Harry would hate to have Snape know first.

I like it that Snape does kind things but then masks them over with snide comments. It's awesome and hilarious. I think it's funny that you have the roles reversed. The books always make it about Harry learning to trust Snape and now you are toying with the opposite. Snape must gain Harry's trust... clever.

Anyway off for more. I'll give this one a 9 since I like the softer side of Snape.
~Meg

Author's Response: Not really. In this story I focus mainly on Harry, Severus, and Hermione. He does however appear in some of my other work, like Arms of A Dark Angel.

Yeah, I like reversing their roles, it makes it more interesting.

Hermione is desperate at this point for someone to find out what is wrong with Harry. She doesn't want Harry to get hurt and she knows there's something wrong but he won't tell her anything and she's scared. So she talks to Snape since he is the only adult who notices anything about Harry that is off and seems willing to do something. She knows Harry might be angry with her, but it's for his own good.


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Review #25, by Meg_Moon Fire: Midnight Rendezvous

6th July 2010:
You have a great opportunity for comedic affect if you're willing. The whole Snape being a horse thing and listening into what Harry says could make for some real funny Snape thoughts and also some real funny Harry comments. I feel like this is super serious right now.

I'm off to read more, but yeah don't be afraid to lighten the mood as well as darken it. Also I'm praying that you don't make Harry into a drama queen because right now it's borderline. Otherwise I liked the chap.
~Meg

Author's Response: It is for now, but there will be some humorous moments later on.

Sometimes every teenage boy acts like a drama queen, I know as I have 8 nephews from ages 14 on up to 19 and 23! In this case, i feel Harry is justified because he's been through a hell of a lot. So he needs to vent.


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