I lovelovelove it! Only thing I think you could possibly do better might be the abruptness of the introduction of the ending. =3 It's just a little randomish, if you maybe introduced that it was the murder of her daughter's murderer (as I'm assuming it's supposed to be) earlier in the oneshot/chapter and had her brood on that a bit more it might make it a bit better. :) *squish*
Love, Kris.Author's Response: hahaha, with the abruptness I've now changed it to a short story, so I shall delve into that through out the story! =P
Thanks loads dear! ^^ *hugs* Report Review
hahahahahahahahahahahahaha! That was possibly the funniest thing I've ever read on here! Brilliant! *applauds*Author's Response: Thank you! Report Review
Amaze me. *snuggles* This was B-E-A-U-T-I-F-U-L. In the morbid twisted way that Tom Riddle/Voldemort is/was, anyway. Report Review
I love one shots! They're so cute!!! Especially this one. God worrk.
~Krissy Report Review
The only thing about it was a couple of tiny punctuation and stuff. (But I'm just insane about those things, so don't take me to seriously)
LOOVEIT. I started to tear up there.
Keep up good work!
~Krissy~ Report Review
Lol. I am eternally checking my box for new reviews... sadly I dont get as many as I'd like.
But this isnt for complaining about my problems with reviews, it's to compliment your knack for this.
You are a great great great writer. I love your portrayal of 'Mione and Harry and Ron, and I lurve Demone. He's so cutesy!!! (not in the literal sense; i just like that word too much, i think) He's so great.
My advice as far as your sequel-or-no-sequel dillemma: go if you want, not if you must. If a bunch of ppl are demanding a sequel but it doesnt feel right, then follow your own head, not theirs. K? Be strong!
Perhaps you could come read my stories sometime?
Luv ya! great great job!!
~SS~ Report Review
I know, its so much fun when one character hexes another, isn't it?
Much more fun in the marauder era, if you ask me, though.
Great Job once again, and I shall finish reading the rest another time.
~SS~ Report Review
I almost don't want to read the next chapter... this is making me so saaad.
Good job though, luv it. Report Review
wowzaa. Science lesson AND an awesome story. Love it! XD Report Review
Righto then, dearest sev_epans!
Go back, reread slowly,and add in little things like missing punctuation, for example.
Also, I just would like to add that I dont think Severus would talk so. run-on-sentency, even if it WAS extremely important news like that for Lord Voldemort.
Also, Harry/Neville's Birthday is the 31st July, not the 21st. Just thought I'd clear that up.
PS: you gots to tell me when you post a new chappie, buddy!! Please?? Report Review
This is so cutesy! And I loved in the last chapter about Ron doing the Chicken Dance in the common room. made me laugh.
You're doing a great job here, except for just a few run-on sentences. you may want to check that :)
And OMG I have like, the same idea as you with the journals, except just with spare parchment... XD Great minds think alike!
Keep Going! Ilove this!
~Krissy Report Review
Alright, dearest Oli, I am going to have at you now.
You know, I really really really do love your story right now. You just need to go back, reread some more, take out words that need not be there and add some more punctuation in places. Having great characters and plotlines only gets you so far.
Repetitiveness is well... annoying, too. So, before it becomes a habit (which would really suck, btw) watch it! Your last line is repetitive with the name "Severus" twice.
And is there going to be any sort of itty bitty bit of romance, perhaps? That Bolmar, although a bit... erm, violent, shall we say? could work well with a good woman at his side. ;P
Happy Writing! Don't forget to come read my stories sometimes!!!
Ps.: My banners are SO way better than urs ;) XD jk.Author's Response: Thank you for the kind words. I will take what you said into considertaion and then hope it will improve my writing. Report Review
Very nice, very nice. I like the way you put in all the Hogwarts Quidditch ppl.
Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'm glad you liked it! = ) Report Review
aw... you've got me tearing up here!
Great job, i love your Stella charrie, even if she is sort of depressed.Author's Response: Thank you so much!
Yeah, I admit she is a bit depressed but she's snapping out of it pretty soon:) thanks to one Mr. Sirius Black... Report Review
wow, you've actually got me tearing up here!!!
I love playing with the Marauders era, don't you? It's easy but hard all at the same time.
You are suuuch a good writer... i wish i was half as good as you. Keep it up!!!
~SS~Author's Response: Aww thank you so much! And yes, The Marauders Era is probably my favorite generation of Harry Potter! Thank you so much for reviewing! It's nice to know people still read my old fan fics! :) Report Review
I'm going to go ahead and imagine this Leo as Ryan Gosling with brown hair. *swoons*
wow, k, for someone who has never been out on a date, I think I swoon and oggle at guys too much. XD
I looove your writing, it makes me happy... as a writer, as a reader, it makes me sad, in agood way though.. as in I'm rooting for Mel!
I'm off to the next chapter then, only three left until I'm waiting!
~SS~Author's Response: Oh my gosh! I never thought of Ryan as Leo, but now that I'm thinking of it, it totally works! :) Thanks so much! Report Review
*shouts like a newsstand person*HUGE turn of events, ladies and gentlemen, and only in ONE Chapter!!!
OMG, IS she going to go off with what's-his-name-in-Ravenclaw???
Wait, don't tell me, I'll find out soon enough.
To the next chapter!!!
~SS~Author's Response: Yeah, I have this thing for turning tables. ;) Report Review
You named this chapter properly. It IS weird.
K, this guy in Ravenclaw is really creping me out, seriously. Maybe he should be in Slytherin... ;)
Great writing, I luv luv luv it!!!
~SSAuthor's Response: Thank you! Report Review
Very well written, I must say.
And this is why we all love the Marauders!!!
~SSAuthor's Response: Thank you very much :] Report Review
Aww, I love this!!! (even though Sirius is MINE, tee hee.)
I love your OC, she's so. i dunno, but she's really great.
You should watch some of ur typos tho.;)
On to the next one, i suppose!
~SS~Author's Response: Haha I think Sirius belongs to every girl. (whatta playa! :]) And yeah, I wrote this story when I was like 12 or 13 so I definitely was lacking in the grammatical departement :) Report Review
Alrighty then, let's do this.
You have a very good story going here, based on facts and things like that, but there are a few things you should watch out with.
Your spelling/grammar is a bit to be desired. "haved" is not a word. it would be "have had", k? Sorry, I'm just really easily annoyed by things like this. Lily's last name is spelled "Evans" also, btw. You need to watch your "You're" and "your" too: it might confuse people.
As well, in the first chapter, you're in Lily's POV, correct? So then she would not be able to watch House because it hasn't been invented yet... you gotta make sure you're writing in the right time frame here!!!
Other than those things, you're doing pretty well. Have fun with your next chapters!
(7/10)Author's Response: sorry im real new at this and its a fanfic right? house could be invented, i guess. but im glad u liked it ill improve on it just for you
That, my friend, is a very very, and I'm pretty sure, accurate description of Remus' attack from Greyback. *applauds* well done, well done, well done indeed!! Report Review
ZOMG!!! THIS IS GREAT!!!
You have really covered Percy's.. well, Percy-ness quite well.
~Sirius Sweetheart~Author's Response: Thanks! That's why it takes me so long to get a chapter done, but I'm glad you think I did it well. I'm so happy now. Report Review
Percy is really, really. annoying.
~Sirius Sweetheart~Author's Response: Yes, but he's annoying in the sense that we get to mock him. Thank you! Report Review
I liiike, "vair muchio", as my dear friend Alexawould say. XD
I love the way you have delved into the mind of Draco Malfoy, except; wasnt he the Seeker,not the Keeper on the Quidditch Team?
Anyway, your voice is great! Keep it up!!
~SS~Author's Response: Thanks for the complimenting quote. lol Yeah, he was Seeker, but that doesn't mean Daddy didn't provide him with a full Quidditch set as a kid. I just thought it'd be difficult to throw a snitch... or a bludger. XD Thanks again for the review! Report Review
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