Reading Reviews From Member: Stag Night
  
53 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Stag NightOnce Defied: The Great Divide

4th June 2010:
Just let me warn you once more that I am a very rusty reviewer :) But here I am for a chapter or two today.

So first off, I liked your beginning. At first, I was like "what's she sorry about??" And then I was like "omg she's apologizing to James!" and then I think my face fell because you tricked me and it was just her friends. I giggled, though.

I liked her friends right off the bat, which is saying something because you know I'm not an OC fan. First of all, it's extremely satisfying to actually read about an OC who has her own life and problems outside of the whole Hogwarts-James-Lily-Sirius scenario. I truly enjoyed reading about her "perfect" siblings and her resentment for them - I really like her! The fact that she calls her siblings the D's was pretty nifty, and then when I read her version of what it stood for I think I completely fell in love. She's kind of like Ron, overshadowed and bitter. Mary seems like an airhead, which, naturally, makes me laugh.

So... did you write that song? I really liked the last half. i'm sure you've been asked that a thousand times, and obviously, the answer is that yes, you wrote it. LOL I don't know why I asked. But it was good. Though reminiscent of JKR's warnings from the hat, I liked the worrisome sort of effect it had. There's something ominous about being warned of danger by a hat :P I wonder how it seems to know the future. I find it ironic also that Lily's sitting there wondering how things could get worse, and then she is one of the few people who become so deeply wrapped up and involved in it that she is killed by Voldemort personally. Very disturbing to see her thoughts on it now, after being warned. The fact that the students will be searched upon entering and leaving the castle grounds has me thinking, also - because that would imply Dumbledore thinks students will be bringing in dangerous objects or something. Otherwise, I could see checking off students as they come and go to make sure none are missing, and to make sure nobody isn't getting in who shouldn't be - but to actually search the students themselves makes me suspect the Slytherins have possibly already become Death Eaters during the summer? You know, I will never understand why Dumbledore doesn't just expel them when their involvement in the Dark side seems to be common knowledge.

James cracks me up. Leave it to him to abuse his head boy position in order to show all the Gryffindors the secret passages and things. This would be the sort of thing I would be afraid of being influenced by, as I would so desperately want to have him do this exact thing in my own story. But that's all right, I'm a long way off from writing my Hogwarts story :P And of course, he would be on a first name basis with the fat lady... rofl.

Now I know I often get irritated with the whole way people overreact to cliche's and such - but I do have one tiny bit of advice. You know where Lily tells him she doesnt want to spend the year avoiding him? And then we see "James could not believe what he was hearing." Forgive me - but I think that line is a little overused, and personally, I kind of think it takes away from his characterisation a tad. It was just like... I almost expected such a phrase the instant she was decent to him. I don't know what you could place there instead... maybe you could just say his mouth fell open in surprise or something. I also kind of think its a little soon to use that line, since Lily has only said one short little phrase herself. Maybe it would be a better line to use after some sort of long explanation/apology rather than right away like that. So if I absolutely HAD to pick one thing to CC on, that line would be it.

I really liked his realisations about his actions, however, and his wonder at why Lily suddenly had a change of heart. I'm kind of wondering that myself - whether there is something more to it than just wanting a peaceful working environment or not. Because she almost seemed forced into it by her friends at first. Anyway, I sincerely enjoyed the last part with the Marauders - big surprise there, eh?

The announcement of a momentous day seemed so jovial and James-like, and of course, Sirius's response was great. I'm glad Peter has a role to play here, and it's pretty cool to see him acknowledging his own ability to fly under the radar like that. I sort of do that myself... it just seems more realistic if he's not all "poor me" and actually USES it (or in my case, gets annoyed by it but keeps silent in order to keep his friends).

I could just hear the horror in their groaning. Oh great, another year of James trying to get Lily to like him. Must be miserable - and I'm sure he walks in saying that same thing at the beginning of every year, or every time Lily talks to him lol.

So anyway. I like your writing style - its nice and easy to read (I hate having to reread the same sentence three times... like people probably have to do when they read MY story..) but at the same time, its not so simple that your voice isn't there. Not that I know what you sound like, but you know what I mean.

Author's Response: Okay, like I said, this review is amazing. :D I find it so bizarre to be writing a review response to you, though...doesn't this usually happen the other way around? Haha.

I'm so glad I tricked you at the beginning! :P That was my clever ol' attempt to hook the reader in. But I don't think anyone's ever mentioned it before, so that makes me happy to hear you say that.

Oh, and you liked the OCs. :D That's a nice surprise for me, because I know you don't really like them. I think they get better and more rounded as the story goes on, so hopefully you will continue to like them. :) Bahaha, Mary is a bit of an airhead. And I'm glad you fell in love (well, something like that) with Anna. People never really liked her early on, but I have a soft spot for her. I like her much more than I do Mary. :)

Yep, I did write the song! I don't know why. I do remember that I decided to do it once at 2 a.m., so that might have something to do with it. :P There are a couple spots where the flow gets horribly off, and it's kind of a reiteration of what the Sorting Hat says in the books, but I'm glad that the context made it more meaningful for you. My thinking on Lily is that she's a bit naive when it comes to the war at this point—she's been at school or in a Muggle home for her entire life, and I also don't think she'd have that drive to be an Auror or fight Voldemort from day one. She'll get there, though.

You know, I offer something of an explanation later in the story about why Dumbledore didn't expel those Slytherins, so you'll have to see if it makes sense to you when you get there.

Haha, James cracks me up, too (which is really bizarre because I'm writing him, and it's like I'm cracking myself up—not that it happens very often). I'm glad you liked his first attempt at being Head Boy, and the interaction with his friends. :D

Regarding Peter, I kind of hate that he comes off as such a loser in that memory in OotP. It doesn't give him any redeeming qualities as a Marauder besides the fact that he's so sycophantic. So I tried to think about what would make him a good Marauder, and an ability to sneak around unnoticed is what made sense to me. I find Peter to be really interesting to write about, so I try to keep him included as often as I can.

That line is the sort of lameness I'm talking about. :P Ridiculously hackneyed. To be honest, there's a large part of me that really wishes I could re-write the state of things between James and Lily in these early chapters, because I don't think I really expressed what I wanted to very well. Ah, well. I'm glad there were good moments in there, at the very least! :)

And I'm thrilled that you like my writing style. I often feel like I get overly wordy, and these early chapters are pretty rusty. It's encouraging to hear that it's easy to read, because I get pained at really complex, mind-bending writing. (Yours would NOT be included in that category.)

Thank you times a million for this review!!! (Let's reverse these roles soon, okay? *hint* Hehe.)


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Review #2, by Stag NightYou Want To Make A Memory?: Hogsmeade

27th October 2009:
Fun chapter! It was so nice to read about the first trip to Hogsmeade. It makes me wish everything was real! I can just imagine the excitement of going there for the first time with nobody looking over your shoulder except your own friends. I'm glad Remus was able to talk some sense into Sirius, because missing the trip would have been terrible! Plus, Remus makes a good point about having siblings, and I'm glad he gave Sirius some food for thought. Maybe this will start a more respectful relationship with his brother.

Filch is so funny! "Demons..." haha. And it was so fun to watch the boys specifically pick out some of the items with pranking in mind. Interesting to see how their minds work, and the rest of the school has no idea what's in store for it.

I liked the way they met Rosmerta. So flirtacious! typical 13 year old boys. I literally laughed when they ordered Remus the largest glass of firewhisky available. I had forgotten about Alice's father, but I guess that's what I get for taking such a long hiatus. How sad that the one year anniversary is coming up for her.

Aww.. I love the end. Just a typical day in the Gryffindor dorms. This was such a happy chapter :D

Author's Response: Considering what happens in the next chapter, a fun chapter was absolutely necessary! I really wish Hogsmeade was real too, the closest we'll ever get is the Wizarding World park in Orlando. It really does have to be exciting, the freedom of being away from school and just being with your friends. It really was a good thing Remus talked sense into him because Sirius would have hauled off and hexed someone and missed the trip. No, Sirius is so far away from a respectful relationship with Regulus it'll never happen unfortunately.

I really wish I'd written more of Filch. He's just such a cool character with his mutterings about the students. Oh the boys will always be at Zonko's looking for something to wreack havoc. I believe there are some pranks, not describe in as much detail as their one against Crane, but pranks all the same. The poor unsuspecting school.

Well, they had to make her laugh, so it might as well be through 13 year old boys pathetically trying to flirt. I loved writing that bit, especially since the irony is Sirius is the one who loves tipping back the firewhiskey later on in this. Remus would never touch the largest glass of firewhiskey available. Yeah, Alice's father is gone. I never even wrote him and I'm sad he's gone (it's just one in the long string of deaths coming, one in particular had me get emotional writing it). Poor Alice.

Oh the end was my favorite! Any scene where the boys are just being boys is one of the best to write. Yay for happy chapters! Thanks for reading!


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Review #3, by Stag NightYou Want To Make A Memory?: The Room of Requirement

27th October 2009:
I came to read some more of this. I read this one a long time ago and apparently never reviewed... I swear I remember saying how cool it was the way they found the RoR! But I'm probably just making that up :)

I love the parallels with Harry's time. It's so fun to see how they experienced similar things. And Remus's difficulties could explain why he decided to spend extra time helping Harry, even though it was against his better judgement in regards to putting too much on Harry. Also, I love the taunting from the other kids, bringing up the Muggle parent. Even half bloods can't escape the jeers.

LOL... why on earth is Sirius tossing socks of all things? :D But I genuinely enjoyed his reflections on his own family after thinking of Remus's.

As I mentioned briefly at the beginning, I love how they found the room of requirement. I like that it wasn't just a random lucky find, and that something else (something canon) lead to it. I can just imagine the look on Remus's face as he watched his three friends walking back and forth to get the so-called door to appear! I like how they seemed to have a little difficulty in getting it to appear again. It wouldn't have been as realistic if they just automatically knew that it was the pacing that did it the first time.

Remus's best memory to produce his patronus was sweet :) I wonder why he was able to get it so quickly when the others couldn't? Maybe his happiest memory is more powerful than theirs, considering he's always wanted acceptance. I would imagine James's happiest memory might be a little weak, considering his entire life has probably been one long chain of goodness :)

Sirius's concern in the end is good. And I still wonder why Remus's transformations are getting worse. Is something going on, or is this just a side effect of getting older?

Author's Response: Remus helping Harry is definitely against his better judgment, but I see him wanting to help because of his own difficulties with it, hence what happens in this chapter. Yeah, even half-bloods can't escape it unfortunately. Those taunters will get what's coming! Not really... I just felt like saying that :)

Why does Sirius ever throw anything? He just likes throwing stuff. Yeah, Sirius really can't help but reflect on them. His own family is so different from Remus's and he knows which one he prefers.

I really didn't want it to be something lucky, more that they were just wandering around trying to find a place to practice and, viola, a random door appears. Ha, Remus's look was something like 'okay, they've finally lost it' They really had no idea that it was the pacing that did it. It would just be too perfect if they knew it was that.

Uh... *needs to think of his memory* okay, got it. It really was because it was more powerful. He's been rejected so much before that their acceptance is enough to get a patronus like that. James's memory should be weak because he really hasn't had any hardships, but the fact that he is a powerful wizard helps to make it more effective.

Sirius will always be the most concerned about Remus (that way it comes as a harder hit when he believes Remus is the traitor. Oh man, I'm really close to that...) It's really just a side effect of getting older. Thanks for reading!


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Review #4, by Stag NightThe Collection: Cider Conversation

29th July 2009:
Wow, I didn't even realise this was a male OC until the end. Did you intend that or am I just exceptionally unobservant? At any rate, I liked this one even more than the last one I read. It is incredible.

I love the little "missing moments" type of fics such as this, where we see a perspective of somebody that we never really saw in the books. It is refreshing to see how Remus -as an adult - is doing. Its incredibly rare that I see stories about the adult Remus at all that doesn't involve Tonks. I also love the stories like this that are nothing more than tiny, insignificant moments but they can mean so much. I love the casual Three Broomsticks and cider setting.

Once again, I really enjoy the present tense. Your descriptions in this one are beautiful, and I kept stopping reading to allow myself to jealous for a few minutes. Your word choice and style just screams... it is wistful and dreamlike - there is a feeling of yearning.

I loved the OC and the desperation to keep Remus there and keep up the small talk. It was nice to see how Remus actually opened up a little and mentioned his old friends... it was so natural the way they fell into conversation. I really liked how Remus was characterised. He seemed gentle and familiar. And I smiled when he actually called your OC by name.

Great one shot :D

Author's Response: I did actually intend it that way. I really wanted to kind of prove a triple point with this story, the first and most important being that sexuality and sexual preference doesn't matter, we all love and need and want the same. The second point that I wanted to prove is that yes, small moments (once again you nailed it!) are the things that matter in the end, and lastly, the third point I wanted to prove was that the common reader can still be surprised ;)

I'm so flattered by your compliments and observations, trust me, I often linger over stories and work that makes me jealous because the writing is just amazing, so it's super nice to have someone say the same about mine.

I'm really glad you enjoyed your read, and I am super happy over my reviews. Thank you!

BB


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Review #5, by Stag NightThe Collection: To Be Kissed

29th July 2009:
Hopefully I don't have to tell you that I am Bibbs, but I'm saying so anyway :)

Well I am a sucker for present tense, so I already know I'm going to enjoy this. First thing I noticed, jumps right off the page. I kind of liked not knowing who the first person is. I mean at first I was thinking Ron because that's rational... but then Ron was mentioned with Lavender so I thought Harry. But clearly not. (I'm sorry if it was ever mentioned in a story or chapter summary - I have a terrible habit of jumping in without reading those, and so I found that the fact that this was an OC to be a surprise.) I've actually never read femmeslash before.

Lyla is fairly awesome, I think. She seems to be very to-the-point, and a littel rebellious as well. At first I found it intriguing that Hermione would be with such a girl, but the more I think about it, the more I kind of like it. I guess Lyla is everything that she is not, and vice versa. Their chatter about Lavendar is good - I liked Lavender's horrible letter :D And the fact that Hermione is still bothered.

I also enjoyed how torn Hermione is between wanting to follow and sticking to her usual rule following. And then she just stops and loses herself in observing...

The descriptions and emotions in this were fantastic. I loved all of the thoughts and observations from both girls.

So I was a little iffy on the POV switching at first - I'm okay with it, but it threw me off a tiny bit to see it back and forth so quickly. But then in the end, where the POV switched right in the middle of the kiss - that was excellent and it was like... triumph. For some reason, I know it doesn't make sense but now that I've read it all, I really like the POV changes.

So don't stop writing :) I'm off to the next one.

Author's Response: Hehe, its a good thing you said you were Bibbs (of course I had no idea, silly Bliss).

I'm so excited that you liked this, I really mean that. And the way you read it (triumph, that's it exactly!!!) is just brilliant and cuts to the absolute heart of the piece. Woohoo, a reader who get's it! Here, have a cookie, you deserve it...

Meanwhile, I understand your hesitation about the POV change. As I was writing I knew it would have to happen, of course, but I was hoping that the writing and characters would be strong enough to carry it off. I made sure that the work seemed authentic in my mind, so that it would be authentic for the reader.

I am also glad you risked yourself on a bit of femslash, I know its not a popular genre but I believe that no matter what you're writing, if you're writing it well then it's gonna all come out okay.

Thank you Bibbs for a delightful review.

BB


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Review #6, by Stag NightYou Want To Make A Memory?: Tackling the Boggart

29th July 2009:
Oh, Willie's a girl. LOL. I was thinking of naming my Potter house elf Millie. But I think her name is Mopsy. She's only mentioned in passing here and there, so whatever :D

Poor Sirius, I feel so bad for him being ignored by his parents, watching Regulus get all of those wonderful things and he gets nothing, and then just having to sit and wait for one of his friends to come and join him. And poor Remus! I am glad that his grandparents have yet to pass away and he at least got to spend a summer (minus the full moons) with them. And also I'm that that his grandfather at least came around to him being a werewolf before all this happened.

Crane died? Wow, that came as a shock. So randomly said in passing lol. What did he die of??? What was he sick with? Important questions!

I already like the new professor. He reminds me very much of Remus himself teaching, but obviously I think that is heavily influenced by the similar lesson plan. That part of the chapter was a lot of fun - I greatly enjoyed seeing what all of their greatest fears were. I think I'm going to be smiling now when I write my fic - I have a giant invasion planned. How strange that the boggart affected Remus like that when it wasn't even his worst fear, not to mention the dementor wasnt even real. I suppose he's got a lot more terrible things in his background than the others, although I think Sirius's past might have been even worse, though less beastly!

"...and found Remus sitting on his best..." typo?

aww, I love Remus Lily interaction for some reason. How ironic the whole thing is. First that he probably wont see any more dementors... as he fought in the war and then later encountered one on a train and helped Harry in the very same boggart situation. And how he had to tell Lily why he fainted when the very same thing affects her own son years later. And third that James and Harry are afraid of the same thing - fear. Although that's not surprising, James is quite awesome.

Author's Response: (While I'm supposed to be filling out an intership application...) Aww Millie's such a cute name, and Mipsy too! I can see a House Elf being named Mipsy.

Just another thing to drive Sirius to running away (which is a chapter I think you'll really like - lots of James and Sirius goodness). Yeah, his grandparents are still around. I feel bad for what I do to him. He really loves his grandparents and wants to get to know them now that they're giving him the chance.

Crane? No... did I just make a major typo and not realize it?! It's Jones who died. Oh God, now I have to go look. Okay... I'm relieved now, it is Jones I said. Crane isn't dead, but he's removed himself from the Wizarding world I believe.

I love Handlin and he was actually modeled off Remus as a professor (which I guess Remus models himself after him). That was fun writing, especially when Sirius was trying to figure out how to make his worst fear funny. Nice, giant invasion. I can't wait to read that! I put the bit about Remus in there to show how he can empathize with Harry about the dementors. His past was pretty dark, getting bitten by a werewolf can do that... Sirius did probably have a bad past, but I can see his being a little better because his parents liked him better before he started school.

Wow... that's a funny typo, I'll fix that.

I love writing Lily and Remus together. The way they had Remus talk about her in the POA movie (and that Rowling said Remus was very fond of her), I always imagined them getting along well. It is ironic now that you point it out. James is pretty darn awesome, I must agree (though I think Remus is more awesome! Sorry, I couldn't resist :-p) Thanks for reading!


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Review #7, by Stag NightYou Want To Make A Memory?: Alley Wanderings and Ghost Stories

29th July 2009:
Aww... Willie. I love him.

Well, I think my guess about Remus's grandparents is going to turn out to be right, given the way he was acting when giving James the book. Later on, when we saw the scene through James's memory, I think you did a good job describing how a worried kid might look, wide eyed and solemn, not even supposed to be there. Poor Remus, he's missed out on 2 summers so far.

The boys' trip to Diagon Alley was nice. I loved Sirius's comment about not looking at brooms, but rather drooling. Peter's owl sounds pretty cool - I think that would be the one I'd choose too! I hope he gets it. And of course, following Lucius into Knockturn Alley. So reminsicent of Harry. I am curious as to what he was up to - are you going to write about it at all in the future?

Haha, I totally forgot that they wouldn't be allowed to use magic in the summer. That kind of puts a damper on practising the Animagi, doesn't it? I liked how Peter was a bit worried that he wouldn't be able to do it as easily as the others. It was also pretty cool the way the book had a possible list of creatures that could match personality. Seems so obvious, but its a minor detail I've never seen done before.

Nothing like a campire and scary stories with friends at night! I loved the Inferi story! In my opinion, inferi are the most frightening creatures ever, and the story Sirius told was successfully bone chilling. I can't wait until I get to write about them in my own story, although I only have 2 real scenes with them planned. I figure they weren't super common. Anyway, as I said, I love Willie :D That was an excellent plan on Sirius's part.

Author's Response: I think Willie's a girl, actually... Wow, now I have to go check. Yeah, Willie's a girl. Though I did give her a boy's name... :)

I tried to imagine how someone as worried as Remus is might act. He couldn't even see where he was. Don't worry, he'll be there for the next summer, seeing as they go to his house. Oooh that was a fun chapter to write. Four boys in the Lupin household can only lead to disasters.

Peter gets his owl. I loved Sirius's comment too, it seems like something he would go out of his way to say to James. Especially because James loves his Quidditch. You can safely assume Lucius was up to Death Eater activity. I think they might brooch the subject in either chapter 28 or 30. Not sure which one, if it's either.

I forgot they couldn't too actually. Which is why they have the sudden realization. That was actually me going "Darn, now what do I do?" I made it a point to show Peter's uncertainities because he knows he's not as talented as the others, but he wishes he was. I forgot about the list in the book. It is obvious in some cases, but it was just something fun to throw it.

Inferi are frightening, though the ones in the HBP movie reminded me of Gollum from Lord of the Rings (my friend and I were like 'what's with the horde of Gollums?') Yay Sirius got a bone chilling story! Wow I can't wait to read about them in your fic. Sirius was feeling a bit devious and Willie's eager to help! Thanks for reading!


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Review #8, by Stag NightYou Want To Make A Memory?: Another Year Ends

25th July 2009:
Ha! Only those four would manage to do such a thing as break their own dormitory window and then sit and freeze to death! That's so funny. And poor Frank, I forgot her was their roommate, too. Poor guy has to suffer through their antics every day. At least he doesn't complain. I think the gift they got for James was brilliant.

Aww, I loved the way they found the kitchens. I never thought that the houselves probably have to tickle that pear too to be able to go in and out. And how kind of them to give James cake on his birthday :D

I had forgotten about the ill professor. I wonder what is wrong with him? I suppose now that he's left the school, we will never know? And big surprise that Remus ended up with a fever.

Wow, this is the chapter of birthdays, isn't it! Poor Sirius, probably expecting something good and ended up with a bunch of old records! Although I am positive Remus is right (considering how much Sirius seemed to enjoy music in the Christmas chapter) and Sirius will be very happy once he is able to play them.

I think it was really interesting that they could learn to identify the animal they connect with through the Patronus Charm. I mean obviously it seems like Patronuses take on the shape of Animagi from the few Animagi we have seen, but I've never seen anyone use that spell to figure out what they could become. It was awesome.

I love how nicely you always wrap up the year with the finals and the Quidditch and the House Cup and everything. And then the summer plans - it is excellent to see that Remus is so much more willing to join them this time around now that they know his secret. I feel so bad for Sirius that he gets off the train and is immediately dragged away with his family while the other three have parents who are all friends and they get to hang out a bit.

Well, not that Remus got much chance, but he did the year before! Um, so I'm going to guess that Remus's grandparents are dying or something? Just a random guess given the abrupt way his father informed him they'd be visiting, and the whole not wasting any time thing.

Great chapter :D

Author's Response: I know, only they could do that. Frank must have extraordinary patience to live with those four. I think anyone else would have up and hexed them by now. This was a fun scene for me to write because it was just them being boys and not worrying about anything.

I actually forgot how they found the kitchens... Imagine how hard it must be for the House Elves to reach the pair to tickle it? Maybe they're good at jumping or have their own system to reach it. The elves are sweet, giving James a birthday cake.

You'll find out what's happened to him in chapter 24. Their next professor's a nice guy, so at least they don't have to worry about another Crane for a while. I forgot I made Remus sick in this chapter...

Yep, stuck some birthdays in there. Sirius may have been a little disappointed, but he knows the big present is there waiting for him. It's actually kind of funny when he gets it. He does love music, so he appreciates the records, even if he thinks the band names are weird.

I've seen it done in a story before, can't remember where I read it though. I thought that since the Patronus reflects the caster and the Animagus form does in a way, it would make sense for them to be the same. They're going to be spending some time getting it in their third year.

I try to sum up the year with those things, so you know Quidditch wasn't completely forgotten (I hate writing Quidditch scenes) and that the House Cup was announced and everything. Remus is definitely more willing to spend time with his friends now that they know. It's horrible for Sirius that he gets dragged away, but it sets it up for when he runs away before sixth year.

Yeah Remus didn't get a chance either this year. ... I am not saying anything about that quess. Just that it's a fairly good one. Thanks for reading!


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Review #9, by Stag NightRed Champion: 11 - Recovery

16th July 2009:
geez. Esme??? yeah right, come on!

I suppose I should have figured it would be Astoria that the Patronus was sent to, seeing as how she's a healer and all. I'm all "Was it Draco??" duhh. Well I am glad she was able to fix Rose up, and hey, at least this time you told us exactly what was wrong with her, huh? :D Pepper up potion for Scorpius, what a good mother. Well, clearly Hermione has become much more accepting of Scorpius now that she has seen his reactions and worry over Rose's injuries. It was nice that she asked him to sit with Rose since that pretty much let him know that she approved, eh?

I liked Ron's reaction though. "Oh." And I certainly felt like cheering when Rose woke up and Scorpius told her she had come in first place.

Now as for the second half of this chapter... First of all, hooray for the Yule Ball. I was, just as Rose, expecting her and Scorpius to hook up for that, but clearly I was wrong. :(

I could certainly understand her jealousy over all the other girls that think they have this right to come up and put their hands all over her man :P Really, Scorpius should have at least tried to resist, but on the other hand... who wouldn't like the attention? I suppose he can't be blamed too much. And of course, Rose suffers from the self doubt because of it, which was well placed but slightly frustrating.

I really liked Albus in this chapter :D I'm glad she asked Artemis instead (though I really was disappointed that she didn't ask Scorpius.) Of course I became quite flustered to find that Scorpius thought she was going with Alexandre. I wonder who THAT was? gr.

Hey, what if it was Eve who assaulted Rose in the Durmstrang school? Haha, okay, now my imagination is getting away from me.

Rose is so funny with her jealousy. She's certainly inherited a bit of her mother, hasn't she? She sounds just like Hermione, back when Ron was dating Lavender. Some of what she says is ridiculous, but it was perfectly understandable. God, poor Scorpius. Girls are so hormonal, aren't they? And sarcatic.

Well, I certainly don't have to wonder who it is Scorpius has ended up asking. Even if I didn't already have the hint from your response to one of my older reviews!

Author's Response: I know I know I was obviously having a bit of a moment when I wrote this chapter! :P I think it's because book-wise I know canon inside out but it's the bits of information J.K released after the books which I'm not so up to date on - consequently I completely forgot Scorpius' mum had been named!

I'm glad you liked the injury detailing this time! I do kind of regret not including it in the earlier chapter but hey ho, these things happen. It was great to be able to write in Astoria, I rather like her. You're exactly right I think Hermione is a lot more accepting, I think shocking circumstances like that either bring out the best or the worst in people - in Scorpius' case it was the best.

I was so unsure what to do for Ron's reaction but I thought all in all that "Oh" would be exactly the kind of reaction he would give when presented with Scorpius right before him.

This chapter - as ever - has had loads of different versions and I did originally intend for this to be the hooking up chapter. But I thought that would be a bit too easy, they still have a lot to learn about each other before they can put that kind of trust in a relationship.

Scorpius was being a bit of a man! I would have loved to have written him resisting but I thought, in real life would that really happen? The answer was no :P Rose needs a bit of a kick every now and then to make her realise how she feels about Scorpius and this was just one of those kicks, the jealousy is good for her I think.

Rumours can be so very destructive especially between teenagers (and your imagination isn't getting away from you...trust me) :P

Rose is blatantly a bag of hormonal nerves right now, but then she always strikes me as the kind of person who is constantly in denial about how she feels about different situations and the only way for her to confront them is to give her certain obstacles to overcome.

Well, you already know but you wouldn't have to wait much longer to find that out anyway as I'm literally now posting the next chapter. Excuse this delayed and somewhat shoddy response, I am unreasonably tired but promised people an update today...so an update they shall get!

Thank you so much for coming back and continuing with this :)





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Review #10, by Stag NightYou Want To Make A Memory?: Animagi

13th July 2009:
Ha! The arguement was funny. I'm glad to see Lily sticking up for Snape so early on in their years through Hogwarts. It really gives the future years a lot to build on it it all starts now. It was funny the way the argument silenced everyone in Gryffindor tower, that it was such a form of amusement for everyone. I loved Remus; his characterisation was perfect. Only he would stress about James taking all the blame, and then bring up that he was supposed to be tutored. That was a cute hex on James with the make up. I really liked it, for it didn't seem like anything that would be beyond their years. Sirius was great - "You're so pretty, James!"

And so they meet Moaning Murtle. And... another detention. Ha, some things never change, do they.

OO! What's wrong with the professor! I started thinking about how awesome it would be to have a professor with the same sort of condition as Remus (perhaps not werewolf, but something else maybe.) Wow, I really liked the way they decided to become Animagi after being reminded of McGonagall being one. I never thought of that; I always figured they'd just read in book somewhere that animals weren't affected by the bite. So, needless to say, I really liked that, for it seems original enough to me. You seem to have a way with making the way some of this stuff happened different than anyone ever expected, yet still perfectly plausible.

I loved how they surprised Remus with the idea - I've always been fond of them doing it all behind his back with him not having a clue.

I don't think I have ever seen anybody split them up for their elective classes before. That was interesting to read, too. I could totally see their choices, as they seemed to match with their personalities (personally, I think I'd rather take Runes the most.)

Author's Response: I don\\\'t know what inspired that argument, I was in a silly mood, I guess. I figured those two would argue so loudly, everyone would abandon what they were doing and just watch them go at it. I loved Remus in this bit. He does feel bad they let James take all the blame, but he\\\'s not about to get yelled at by Lily. Hexing James into makeup is definitely second yeat material, I think. Sirius was funny with that. I just pictured him sitting there, trying to hide his smile, but laughing while he\\\'s calling James pretty.

Yep, they\\\'ve met Moaning Myrtle (and offended her, but what else is ew?). Nope, they\\\'re going to be getting detentions for a long time. They have to have those huge files Snape brings out in HBP.

You\\\'ll see the fate of Professor Jones in chapter 24, I think. It would be really interesting if a professor had a condition like Remus does, but Jones is just sick. It\\\'s not a condition. Yeah, they just got the idea from McGonagall. I\\\'m glad I can pull all that off. Sometimes I feel like it\\\'s all been done before.

I like the idea of them doing it behind his back, but I didn\\\'t think I could write that well, so I just let him know.

I didn\\\'t think they\\\'d all want to take the same classes, so I put them in different ones. I\\\'d probably take Runes too, or Muggle Studies, I couldn\\\'t bring myself to take Divination or Arithmancy. Thanks for reading!


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Review #11, by Stag NightRed Champion: 10 - Fighting On

12th July 2009:
When Rose used the spell to slow down the spinning rings, it kind of jerked me out of a trance. I had forgotten that she could do that, funnily enough. I was so caught up in the logic of the thing that I forgot entirely about using magic to assist her. Such a little thing, but I just wanted to point out the perfect mix of using mind and using magic which you have included here.

I don't think Rose was that ignorant about the Sorting Hat task, though she seemed disappointed she didn't catch on sooner. It never crossed my mind to choose the animals representing the four houses, but then, considering you never even mentioned those animals were there, I suppose I wouldn't have :P I think you did a great job of keeping that in the dark until the last minute, so that when Rose finally suddenly realised what she should be doing, it hit me how clever it was (whereas if you'd let it be known the founder animals were on there from the start, it might have seemed more obvious to the reader).

Aww, I'm really starting to enjoy Scorpius having his little nickname for her, Red. Seems so familiar and friendly after returning from such a stressful scene in the task. Another reason I like the partner thing is the little breaks we get in between each riddle, it really kind of helps to even out and balance the chapter.

The plant scene was totally awesome. I really don't know what I would have done in that situation except to try and set the entire greenhouse on fire or something. She made a valiant effort at fighting back, but I really like how, in the end, she chose to simply go for the key and risk everything knowing it was a losing battle. I wonder what the other champions would have done here, or did they not have the same task in the end?

Well. Rose seems practically dead. On a happier note, I notice how you switched to Scorpius's POV again. I think you did an excellent job with that; I know I never commented or mentioned the last time you did it. His worry and concern over Rose was endearing.

That is a lot of blood. Ugh I hate blood lol. I think I'd be fainting if I was Scorpius, watching that much soak through the sheets. But I really enjoyed your brief commentary on the two colours. I've always liked using colours as a sort of symbol of what's happening - like with the Blacks, and everything being green and black and Sirius is red and gold. Seriously, I like it, so yeah, it was a really cool effect.

Hmm... Patronus. I'm trying to think of who has a "graceful bird form" that would be recognisable to Scorpius, but I come up empty. Draco? Of course we never saw his Patronus in the books, but I could see him as having an eagle or something.

Anyway. It was sweet that he refused to leave her side, and I am glad that Hermione took notice of him there; perhaps he will prove her parents wrong on his own without her going to stand up for him.

Author's Response: I find it so hard to use mind and magic! Like you said, I also find it hard remembering that she can use magic at certain points so it was difficult getting the mix between pure logic and magical ability. Obviously I couldn\\\' have her using magic on everything because it would have been to easy and I needed to test her other skills as well.

I was undecided on how to present the stone rings, because I did consider having Rose list someof them in the beginning and include one of the founders animals but like you said, it might then have been too easy for the reader and I didn\\\'t want it to be spoiled and the person reading to be sitting there thinking \\\"why can\\\'t Rose get it, it\\\'s so easy!\\\".

I LOVED writing the plant scene, by far my favourite part of the whole story thus far! In terms of the other Champions, in my mind I had them completing different tasks because obviously at Hogwarts subjects like Potions and Herbology are important (in terms of future careers), the Sorting Hat obviously is and Quidditch again is something the school revolves around. The other schools I thought would probably have tasks related to things important to their own school.

\\\"Well, Rose seems practically dead.\\\" that properly made me laugh :P I\\\'m glad you liked the switch to Scorpius POV, I didn\\\'t want to have to skip over everything from the moment Rose loses consciousness purely to stay in her perspective. Using Scorpius meant I could still show what was happening and move the story on.

I loved writing that bit on the two colours, it was easily my favourite bit from the chapter, it was literally something which cropped up as I was writing. I\\\'m exactly the same, I really like using colour symbolism to show what\\\'s happening - I always think it\\\'s a really vivid sigh more than jsut obvious description.

I liked giving Scorpius the chance to show his own worth, it\\\'s something I\\\'ll try to do in the future as well. I think it\\\'s really serious situations like this which bring out the best (or worst) in people - for Scorpius, it was his best.

Thankyou, thankyou, thankyou for the lovely review. I hope this reply is better than the last one! :P





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Review #12, by Stag NightRed Champion: 9 - The First Task

12th July 2009:
This is like one of the most brilliant things I have ever read. I couldn't believe how incredible and detailed everything about the task was, and it was so clever and exciting, that I couldn't tear my eyes away.

I really loved the atmosphere you created when the champions were standing around waiting for the task to begin. I could totally feel Rose's nerves, not knowing what she was getting herself into and feeling that she was totally going to fail. It mimicked Harry's feelings, how much he would give to be any one of the spectators instead of one of the champions, so perfectly that I nearly forgot it was just a fanfiction. As I said before, I really enjoy those subtle ties that keep you in the HP universe while you totally make the story and characters your own.

I loved that Scorpius was there at her side, giving her a hug and reminding her that, no matter how separate she feels from everyone watching, he was right there with her.

I really liked the way you put together the entire first task, so that it was almost like a scavenger hunt. Those things are so much fun. The fact that each phase had obstacles to get past was so wonderfully reminiscent of the maze when Harry did it, and yet so different. I'm just really amazed at how perfectly you created an event that fits so wonderfully in with the whole "Tri-wizard" type of atmosphere. I think most people would end up creating really off the wall tasks, or tasks that aren't dangerous enough, etc.

I loved how well you tied in your whole "partners" thing, so that after each event they were returned to figure out the next riddle. If anyone ever had any doubts about having partners this time around, I think they'd have all gone out the window, because you made it seem so necessary to have that extra help. Perhaps it was the short amount of time they had to figure out each riddle that made the extra help such a big deal.

The riddles themselves were a lot of fun. I got the snitch one right away, though I didn't get sorting hat until I read Rose ask "what sings?" Then it was like oh, duh.

I think my favourite task was the snitch one. I liked how they truly did have to use their instincts to figure out which snitch would be right, and how it was something so subtle as a memory that made Rose focus on the right one. I think I'd have been panicking at that many snitches and not knowing which one was right.

I liked the little cliffhanger. I was going to say more about that task, since I had read on to chapter 10 already, but then realised she hasn't actually done it yet, so I'll save that for the next review! One last thing I really enjoyed was her injuries, which showed that she didn't just breeze through the whole thing, she really did struggle, and the tournament is still fairly dangerous but not stupidly so.

I really am impressed; you've done a fantastic job.

Author's Response: I am quite literally grinning like a madwoman at all the lovely things you said! This chapter – along with the next – are by far the hardest I’ve written. Being that the entire story revolves around the Triwizard Tournament it meant that these chapters and the First Task had to be done right, and had to be perfect or else I knew I’d most likely lose the enthusiasm of a lot of people who have taken the time to review.

I’m glad you think I keep subtle ties to the HP books, it’s a hard job to keep them entirely separate but at the same time believable. Obviously the only TT people know is from GOF so there needed to be brief flickers of reflection so that people would remember and all pick up on certain repetitions/traditions. I think, in a way, Rose and Harry aren’t all that different in the way they handle the Tournament, both take each challenge as it comes, have their moments of panic, but ultimately try their hardest to succeed.

You don’t know how good it is to hear you thought it fit with the Triwizard type of atmosphere, as you said I was worried it would be totally over the top or completely underwhelming. I love scavenger hunts and that whole kind of quest/journey/challenge thing – like at the end of the first HP book. So I really wanted to use that in the First Task, as well as making it a task which really tested all of the Champions skills, readying them for those to come.

The “partners” idea of course allowed a brilliant way of bringing Rose and Scorpius together, but I also thought it sounded like one of those things that schools do – to justify something they make a little rule which looks like a lot but doesn’t do a lot! I wanted the partners to be justified here, not for people to think “she only put Scorpius in to get him together with Rose” because that wasn’t true, it was genuinely to show how necessary a role a partner would play.

I’m glad once again the riddles seemed a balance of easy and hard because obviously it is the First Task so they needed to be difficult enough to be plausible but easy enough that it wasn’t impossible to believe a 6th year girl and boy could solve them.

There are so many more things which I wanted to/did say in this response but it keeps exceeding the character length! So I’m very sorry, but thank you for all your lovely comments!

Thank you really, really so much, your compliments mean so much. I’m glad the chapter worked out and that you enjoyed the First Task. As ever, you are an absolute angel, thankyou for the review!


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Review #13, by Stag NightRed Champion: 8 - Running Away

10th July 2009:
Hmm... I'm sorry - I swear I've had every intention of letting you get caught up on reviews, but after reading the last chapter I just couldn't stop, and so I'm afraid you're just going to have to suffer through hours of responding. I have no self control at all. But - that said - take as long as you want to respond!

I really liked it. This is the chapter you were speaking of with bit of cliche romance, is it not? I don't think its cliche at all, but then, I get so sick of hearing the word cliche. I don't think you could have possibly done anything that would have turned out better than this.

I have to admit, though, that I'm a little disappointed that we didn't find out more about what happened with Rose. One second she's fainted, and then the next thing I know it's 4 days later! I would have liked to have at least seen Scorpius's reaction to this (clearly) much more serious injury.

But anyway, I thought Rose was adorable in this chapter. I loved that she walked in on him after his shower (and really... if it was THAT cliched, he'd have been naked, am i right? He was wearing a towel!) I adore those moments in which a woman looks like absolute garbage and the guy realises she's never looked better in all the time he'd known her. I'm a sucker for those.

I rofl'd when he started to say she looked beautiful and she turned around and ran before he could get it out. I loved it, I think it was my favourite part in the whole chapter. Silly girl. Poor Scorpius.

And of course there are house elves on that ship! The ship is magnificent. Scorpius reminds me of Harry sometimes, isn't that odd? His father's nemesis lol. Anyway, I thought it was nice that he, once again, thought of Rose. I'm glad she joined him for the feast. It is nice to watch their budding relationship instead of each staying holed up in their rooms all the time, sulking for being partnered.

I enjoyed the last scene. I don't know how to describe it. It was like Christmas or something, you know? I don't know haha. You see people enjoying a huge meal and then relaxing and playing games together and its like "family night!" But anyway, it was great that they shared a night of nothing but simplicity and enjoyment. I love those scenes where there's a stressful situation but the characters get those small chances to forget about them.

I've got a few of those in my own story.

Author's Response: My last reponse is filled with A\\\'s and strange symbols. I don\\\'t know why, I hope you enjoy the uniqueness of that reply :P:P

Really don\\\'t apologise for posting this review! It is such a compliment to know that you couldn\\\'t wait to read the next chapter!

I really am massively relieved about the lack of clichedness in your opinion, phew! I was worried and still am, I have a slight dislike towards the chapter still but I know people wanted a bit of Scorpius/Rose before the First Task and I did too, so I still think it was needed. It\\\'s great to hear that somebody else thinks it was needed!

This chapter was rewritten and rewritten over and over the queue closure couple of weeks, it did originally have it eading on directly from the end of the last chapter, I was just worried about people getting bored waiting for the First Task or thinking the chapters were boring/ I was dragging them out. Although I have considered since maybe doing a one-shot - from Scorpius\\\' pov - of those few moments and what goes through his head, as well as being serious I think it could also be pretty humorous!

You have made me feel better about the non-cliche :P I reckoned people couldn\\\'t handle naked Scorpius this early on, it would be a bit hardcore.

I am also a COMPLETE sucker for the girl looking a mess and the guy thinking she is beautiful, I love those moments I think they are absolutely lovely. I also think the majority of the time it\\\'s true, guys never notice when a girl dresses up or anything!

I thoguht the feast and this new discovery was the perfect was to get over their previous awkwardness as well as it being a great perk of being the Champion. I think Scorpius has it pretty hard, people are always going to judge him by his fathers standards and so I think everything in his personality is fighting against that.

I thoguht the last scene was great just before the seriousness of the Tournament began. I know what you mean about it being like Christmas, it does just have that home-like and cozy feel to it.

Thank you so much for your reviews, they really mean the world and I\\\'m sorry I\\\'m so shoddy with responses it really is no way to repay you!




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Review #14, by Stag NightRed Champion: 7 - Danger

10th July 2009:
Wow... I think you've got a little evil streak in you. As you said this was your last chapter before the queue closed back in June, I can only imagine what your readers were trying to make of this little cliffhanger.

And geez. I mention some school rivalry as a suggestion to you and come to find you've already done it :P

Wow, Scorpius went through so much trouble to try to track Rose down the day before. I can't think of much to say about their conversation, except that I was surprise Rose actually had the guts to tell him what all had happened! If it was me, I might have avoided it, for I would be too afraid of offending him. As it is, I'm glad he didn't take what happened personally, and actually understood why her parents might feel as they did.

It was kind of him to thank her for defending him, when really, she only did the right thing. Obviously, he is relieved to still be her partner as well.

The wand weighing thing was certainly interesting. I realised that one of the reasons I really like this story is because you make it seem so original - it is so drastically different from when Harry went through it - and at the same time, you still include some of the major aspects that make the Triwizard Tournament what it is. I had forgotten all about the wands up until this point.

I am fascinated by wands, and always have been ever since Harry first received his (I still feel bad that his wand, which was quite special for what it was, was broken. Rofl I was so glad the Elder wand could repair it). So it was interesting to read about Rose's, especially since pretty much everything about it seemed so flowery and girly! Ha! Rosewood, Unicorn hair. Very nice.

Obviously the last bit is the best; everyone loves some excitement. I'm glad to see that she was hexed (evil as I am); I was hoping this stuff would happen, as you now know from my PM. I'm curious as to who it was. Originally I thought the obvious culprit would be the Durmstrang champion, but really, as they are at the Durmstrang school, it could be any student at all.

Scorpius's overprotectiveness was lovely, the way he was irritated with Alexandre for doing so much as supporting Rose when she's in pain. haha! Well this is one time when I am happy to see Scorpius in the right place at the right time. His concern was perfect, and he seems so intelligent right now with all of his healer stuff. It's always nice when somebody knows just what to do, and obviously, he does.

So anyway, I hope she's not too badly injured, but I suppose I'll find out soon enough.

Author's Response: Hello! Good golly this is a busy busy night!

I have most definitely got an evil streak in me, the cliffhanger before the queue closure was cruel wasn’t it? Although it was very, very unintentional. I had told people in responses to the previous chapters reviews that I would get in another chapter before the queue closed without realising what it was. But yes...I am a bad person!

And oh how I laughed when you said in your PM so get in sabotage and school rivalry – well here you are! (also, for the record – other girls flirting with Scorpius? Check: Chapter 12, Eve flirting with Scorpius? Check: Chapter 13 rofl).

We are obviously completely on the same wavelength! Scorpius went to so much effort and I think it really shows the closeness of their relationship now. As does Rose telling him everything that happened with her parents, I wanted it to reflect how much she trusts him an how she has realised he means alot to her in the Tournament and she doesn’t want to lose him.

I’m so pleased you notice things like the Wand Weighing Ceremony, generally people seem to just accept it’s part of the Tournament and move on, but it is hard to keep on track of all the different things which are part of the tradition. I want this to be authentic and yet entirely different from what we know of the GOF, I want there to be obvious reflections every now and then but nothing copied. It’s great to know you recognise that because I do like to keep to details like that.

I think wands are brilliant, I loved looking through Lexicon for all the different things used in wands, I was originally going to have rose petals in Rose’s (I couldn’t resist) but then I saw that Fleur’s wand had been rosewood so used that instead. Goodness knows where the unicorn hair came from!

I also liked her being hexed, it sounds awful but sometimes you need something like that to liven things up! Also to show things haven’t exactly changed around Durmstrang. It’s practically a traditional to have cheating and sabotage so I just couldn’t leave them out.

I really wanted people to see that Scorpius isn’t just there so I can set up the Rose/Scorpius pairing, he really is chosen for a reason and I hope that comes across in the fic!

You are, as always, an amazing reviewer and I am eternally thankful!



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Review #15, by Stag NightRed Champion: 6 - Confrontation

9th July 2009:
I really should read author's notes more often. I suppose if I had, I would have been able to answer my own question about whether you wrote the riddle in chapter 4 :P

Well, how interesting to see Rose bring up the very same thoughts I had about Hermione and her acceptance towards the Malfoys. Am I detective a bit of protectiveness over Scorpius? She certainly didn't like hearing the bad things about him. It's interesting that her mind never once went over the fact that Hermione was requesting she be moved away from Scorpius - only the fact that she felt he had been wronged by her parents. Well, at least not at first :) But it was nice to see that her concern was more for him than it was for herself initially.

Poor Hugo. Originally I thought he was just going to be some annoying little brother, but I kind of felt bad after she confronted him.

Oh my god. The new rules about her being around Scorpius are simply ridiculous. How frustrating! I think I'd cry if it was me. Suddenly all meetings have to be chaperoned? It's not like he's a murderer for crying out loud. What on earth were her parents thinking?? Wow, and the professor won't do anything about it because of their Ministry positions. Suddenly, I don't like Ron or Hermione much. In fact, they remind me very much of Lucius Malfoy, always presiding over things, always watching and putting the pressure on, using his status to ensure what he wants.

Well, I don't think Ron and Hermione are really doing THAT. I don't think they'd abuse their Ministry positions to threaten the school or anything, but still. Same situation, yeah?

Haha, I can't believe Rose was allowed to just Floo right out of there and go confront her parents.

My anger sort of disappeared when we met Ron and Hermione though. Hermione seems so gentle that its hard to be irritated. And Ron... haha. When speaking of Harry during his attempt at the tournament, and how he couldn't have done it without them. Rofl give me a break. But perfect characterisation.

Well, I am happy that that was sorted out and Rose got her parents to see some sense. Geez, one second it's all happy and elated over solving a riddle, and the next you make us think the whole thing is going to fall apart.

Aww. Scorpius must think he's cute or something, eh? Just kidding. How kind of him to wait up for her. I am glad he is proving her parents wrong even within hours of the entire situation. Too bad she didn't wake him up; I'd have liked to have seen what he'd have to say upon her return, or his reaction to the note (if she even tells him about it.) Perhaps in chapter 7?

Author's Response: Hey :) It\\\'s lovely to have you back to review. Thank you so much for taking the time and I am so sorry I\\\'m being shoddy with responses, I seem to leave the computer for a couple of hours and they stack up!

I think Rose definitely feels protective over Scorpius especially when he has been a good friend to her and he is being persecuted as much as he father was (although he was for good reason!) I think she feels for him because, being the daughter of a famous family she is also aware of the prejudices. Everybody expects her family to be good and reliable and heroic, I think she has the same pressure as Scorpius, jsut for a different reason.

I admit I did feel a tiny bit of guilt getting Rose to be so angry at him but hey, he just shouldn\\\'t have run straight off to the parents! :P

I love your next paragraph! You seem so angry about her parents demands and I love it! That is exactly the reaction I wanted to it. I think it is pure and simple over-reaction to a situation. I really liked your observation about them being almost like Lucius Malfoy, in a way I think you\\\'re right. I think years of fame and top Ministry Jobs has changed them somewhat, as it would anyone. If you have the money and power, then you will always try to influence things your way when you don\\\'t like them.

I love Rose because I think she can be pretty formidable when she wants to be! I like that yur anger disappeared on meeting Hermione and Ron, just as Rose\\\'s did. I think there is something loving about them even if they act rashly which means you can\\\'t help but sympathise with them. After all it did all happen just out of concern for their daughter.

I do love keeping people on their toes, happiness all the way through but just be way too easy :)

I was tempted just to have her wake him up - maybe by pouring a cold beverage over him, but then I\\\'m just cruel. Poor guy he\\\'s been worrying so much he\\\'s tired :)

Thankyou, thankyou for another lovely review, you\\\'re an absolute star!





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Review #16, by Stag NightRed Champion: 5 - Inspiration

9th July 2009:
I've been holding back because I wanted to give you a chance to respond to reviews - trust me, I was fairly popular on my first account here, and if they get backed up, it's really hard to get them down. But now I'm back. Do you want to be a trusted author? I can make that happen. Some people don't want it because they're afraid of overstepping boundaries, but let me know if you want. You can PM me on the forums if you don't want to respond here.

I enjoyed reading their guesses at what it could be. It was cool how they thought of everything from the Mirror to, later on, boggarts. The funny thing is that they all seem to fit in with the riddle. So good job on that.

Hooray, Artemis is back. You know, judging by the look that quickly passed over Albus's face, I'm beginning to think that there might possibly be something between Artemis and Rose. I hadn't expected that at all, if that's the case. I still like him. Rofl I liked how he managed to secure them a couple of acceptable potions when Rose wasn't paying enough attention. He didn't seem to mind, or at least, he never said anything.

Rofl. Rose caught on to the exact same thing as me. I guess that was the mose obvious part, eh? She's as excited as I was. I hate that crushing feeling when you think you've done so well only to find out somebody else has probably already thought of it. I was glad to see that Scorpius mentioned he hadn't later on.

I could so perfectly see both Rose and Scorpius sitting up so suddenly and staring at each other with these looks of dawning upon their faces. When Scorpius spoke in Rose's ear, it made me shudder too. I am glad that he spent his time reading the Potions book and figured out what the answer was. He did, at least, prove himself not to be as useless of a partner as he said he was.

Now I'm really curious about what the task is going to be. At first I thought they'd just have to make the potion, but that's nothing like some of the thrilling tasks that were in previous TriWizard Tournaments. Then I thought maybe they would have to take it and resist it's effects? I know, I am so clueless. But I am excited to find out.

Oh no, an ominous letter. I have to admit that I am a little surprised to find it coming from Hermione, who has always tried to put aside her differences with Malfoy and has, in the past, even encouraged house unity. Though I can understand her not liking the close quarters in which Rose is living with him. I suppose Ron probably played his part in convincing Hermione as well! How disappointing to see the headmaster was written to.

I hope the living arrangements aren't changed! Not that it matters, I suppose, for so far, their living arrangements haven't really had a part to play. But all the same, darn Hugo. Typical brother.

Author's Response: Hey!

Great to see you back! Thank you so much for waiting until I\'d answered reviews, you are completely right and they do get backed up! Especially since I put in some requests on the review forum and put up a new chapter so I have different people reviewing different chapters!

I would love to be a trusted author and I really overwhelmed that you would do that for me. I\'m going to send you a PM on the forums as well because there\'s a couple of things I wanted to ask :)

So, onto the story! I\'m really relieved you thought the guesses fitted with the riddle, after writing the riddle myself and knowing the answer it\'s so hard to make guesses at what it could be! Luckily the Mirror was something which a reviewer guessed so I was hopefully on the right track.

Ooh you\'re on the right track with the possiblilty of their being something between Artemis and Rose but I\'m glad you still like him. I love the guy he seems so nice and sincere and harmless...and has a brilliant name, what more could you want? Oh and he\'s good at potions.

Surprisingly not everybody did guess it was a potion, it was hard to get a balance between it being stupidly hard and being stupidly easy so I gave hints to some of it but not really to others. Hopefully, now knowing the answer, it still makes sense. I wanted Rose to be the first to get the potions factor I\'ll admit it! I\'m the same as you and I hate figuring something out then someone pipping me to the post. However, Scorpius still got his moment of glory. They really do make a good team.

The First Task chapter literally just went up (number 8 I think?) so it is to come don\'t worry. I feel pretty proud of it actually and so far people seem to like it thank goodness! I loved writing it so much, it\'s always been what the beginning of this fic was gearing up to, now I have the second to think about!

I really hope you like the First Task and it lives up to expectations and your excitement.

It certainly is an ominous letter and a half, it is strange coming from Hermione and I was worried she might seem out of character but then she was always so passionate especially when it concerned somebody she loved that I thought a knee jerk reaction might be right. Especially if she thought her daughter was in danger. I think living with Ron would take it\'s toll on anyone eventually and as you said his worry and anger is most likely to influence his wife.

Thank you for this gorgeously long and lovely review, I can\'t thank you enough for taking the time to do this for me I really appreciate it. With any luck I\'ll be popping back to In My Time Of Dying tomorrow!


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Review #17, by Stag NightRed Champion: 4 - New Landscapes

6th July 2009:
Did you know that you've inspired me to want to write a Next Gen fic? Well, I am pretty sure it is you. I haven't read any except for yours so far, and in the last two days or so, I've been toying with the idea. I still don't know yet. I can't get my idea to work well.

Artemis! Well heck, that'd be a good name for an owl too :) I liked him. I'm always a fan of some super minor character coming out with a part to play. I'm glad Rose explored the grounds with this new person instead of with Scorpius, mostly just because it seems more realistic and less "perfect" or "convenient." You know those stories where the main pairing is somehow always together for everything they do? Yeah, I'm glad this isn't like that, and other people can contribute also. He had great advice. And I really liked him. He had a very calming presence.

I liked the descriptions of Durmstrang, especially the feeling that dark magic was still around. It sounded really dark and ominous, and totally cool. It was really awesome the way the castle comes up out of nowhere when you get close enough, and reiterates the secrecy surrounding the place. I think I actually shuddered after Rose first saw it and it took her by such surprise.

The moment with Scorpius and Rose in their common room was cute. I'm glad that, amidst her worry, she was still able to laugh at such a simple thing he said. It was good to see Scorpius again. Reading so much of Rose's worrying thoughts has made his appearance seem almost like a relief. I don't mean that I don't enjoy reading her thoughts, I just mean I was so into them - it's like its so intimate and personal - that it was comforting to see Scorpius and know he was going to be there for the whole thing. Is that weird?

The inside of the school sounds really cool. Black and white :D Seems so cold and unfriendly, almost. I think I'd rather stay in the boat, even surrounded by lake creatures.

Anyway, so we have the first clue now! I can't wait to find out about the actual event. Did you write the riddle yourself? it is really good. I couldn't write one if my life depended on it. I tried to figure it out. All I can come up with is that it might be a potion, but that's only the last line "take me right". I don't know what else you could "take". Unless it means to take an item... to the right side... haha. Okay, I will just have to read to find out, eh?

Author's Response: Wow! I can\\\'t believe I inspired you to write a Next Gen fic! What a compliment :)

I think it is an excellent genre, it still allows you to heed to canon (I really like using canon) but at the same time doesn\\\'t have the same retrictions over the overall outcome of something as Marauders sometimes can have. This is why I chose it because I can do so much with it but still have details from canon as a starting point, I\\\'m enjoying working with so much.

I LOVE the name Artemis, I have no idea why at all and you\\\'re right it would make a great owl name! I thought he would provide a nice break and I\\\'m glad it seems more realistic. In general it\\\'s a ship with a LOT of students on it, really what are the chances of her and Scorpius bumping into each other? I thought Artemis was a better idea because she didn\\\'t know him a lot so it allows me to bring in a new character but she knows him enough that they can explore the grounds together.

I think he\\\'s a great character, as you said there is something very calming and just sincere about him, he genuinely likes to help people.

I really enjoyed describing Durmstrang it\\\'s a place I always wanted to write about so I\\\'m glad I\\\'ve had the chance to. I think it just gives a nice break from the usual Hogwarts setting. The castle appearing out of nowhere was such a spur of the moment decision, it popped up as I was writing and I thought I might as well include it as it seemed to work with the whole secrecy idea.

I\\\'m so relieved that Rose\\\'s thoughts have come through! It sounds strange considering even though it\\\'s third person it\\\'s her perspective but I\\\'m not great at writing what a person is thinking. Description I can do simple as anything, dialogue I don\\\'t love doing but I don\\\'t mind writing it, confrontations/speeches I love, inward thoughts and feeling? Terrible at!

I\\\'ve never been able to really put down on paper what a character would be thinking so I\\\'m glad you\\\'ve got hers and her relationship with Scorpius so completely spot on. Especially her seeing him as some kind of relief (it\\\'s not weird at all!) that\\\'s the figure he is supposed to be because I think he has a very definite role to play in her life.

I would rather be in a lake than in that castle, I considered having the interior all black but I thought the white would make it even colder, especially with the marble. It\\\'s certainly the kind of place I can\\\'t imagine ever feeling at all comfortable in!

I did write the riddle myself and it was surprisingly easy to do, although because I knew all along what the answer was - obviously - I found it so hard to determine whether it was a difficult clue or an easy one! You will definitely have to read to find out :) I especially like the chapters from now on I think they have a lot more going on that the first few, I hope you like them!

Thankyou for such a lovely, lovely review!!


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Review #18, by Stag NightRed Champion: 3 - Moving On

6th July 2009:
WOW. Well my first thought is that that is one HUGE boat! lol.

In response to your response to my last review, I like coming to review. I don't often read Next Gen, but it is the least I can do considering what you are doing for me. And anyway, it's really well written, so its quite a pleasure. I don't think it leaves a lot to be desired - it seems original to me, and its good. I don't think mines so beautifully written as it is overly wordy. Ha! Yours is clean and wonderful, so don't be embarrassed.

Well, I have to laugh at the three girls who hold up the entire ship waiting because of the last minute packing. Typical girls! :D I am curious what all the letter had to say. I would love to read Ron's reaction to Rose being couple with Scorpius for such a life threatening (or it was when Ron last saw it, anyway) event. Trust his daughter's life (possibly - how dangerous is this going to get?) to his enemy's son? Gah! He must be going crazy.

I love big old ships. Like the wooden pirate type ones. haha! So I thoroughly enjoyed reading your descriptions of the inside. I could picture it so perfectly. How adventurous and fun. I think it's cool that the boat travels underwater. For all the compliments you have given me about small details and canon, you have certainly done quite well yourself. I had forgotten about all the secrecy surrounding Durmstrang, and it makes a lot of sense for the boat to travel underwater. I bet it was awesome to look out the windows and see that.

I love plain white bathrooms :)

I'm glad to see that Albus is one of the students who went along. And I'm also glad to see that the Gryffindors still get their own common room! Leave it to the boys to be in a heated discussion about Quidditch in the midst of such an exciting journey. I enjoyed the conversation with the girls, asking all about Lily's room. And then of course, Eve asks about Scorpius. Totally saw that coming!

Hehe, why is Rose lying? Is it because, deep down, she likes Scorpius a little herself? Or does she simply not want to deal with Eve? Either way, I'm glad she lied, because I don't really like Eve. haha

Well, I am sorry Rose feels so alone in this, but at least she is aware of the support even if she feels detached from it. At least Scorpius is in there with her!

It was a good chapter with lots of description. I can't wait to see what their first challenges are.

Author's Response: One of the things I love most is when you have something that is strangely big on the inside even though the outside is quite modest, hence the ship! :)

I\\\'m glad you like coming to review because I absolutely love getting your reviews, they are always very kind and very useful to me!

As soon as I wrote that Rose had recieved a letter from her parents I liked the idea of finding out exactly what they thought so it is in a later chapter you will soon see! It\\\'s a chapter I really liked, probably nearly my favourite to write, I think I like writing confrontations too much!

I\\\'m really pleased you liked (and understood!) the descriptions, I love writing descriptions for no apparent reason other than that I always know exactly what a place looks like in my head so i think people should be able to see it as clearly as I can. I think it always contributes to the whole atmosphere of a fic when you include some good description.

I definitely am not as focussed on details as you are - there\\\'s always some I forget about and end up having to explain later! But I\\\'m glad you noticed where I\\\'ve kept to canon. I do try to as much as possible, HP lexicon is my constant friend in this. I barely ever make something up I\\\'ll always see what the original books have to offer.

With spells in particular it\\\'s always great to see those J.K already created and if I need to make one up myself I\\\'ll always find out in latin exactly what I need and work from there. I think little details add alot to a story, it makes it a lot more believable in my opinion.

I think the Gryffindor Common Room is something eternally needed, I always thought it was a great space and something every Gryffindor from every generation shared so it was only right it was on the ship as well.

I think Rose is covering all bases by lying! i certainly would have lied in that situation :P I don\\\'t think she likes Scorpius yet, I think it\\\'s more that jealous thing where you have to work closely with someone and somebody tries to come in and take away the other persons attention. I think Rose enjoys having Scorpius to help her in the Tournament and she\\\'s afraid she\\\'ll lose that is Eve goes after him.

I thought the addition of the Champions having a partner was needed, not just obviously to set up Scorpius and Rose in a situation where romance can happen but just because a Champion does need that emotionla support.

Thankyou for the lovely review and taking the time to read this I really appreciate it so much!


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Review #19, by Stag NightYou Want To Make A Memory?: A Lupine Christmas

4th July 2009:
Whew. I am so sorry I have been absent. I had my modem cut out for most of last week, but I still should have been back even before that :) I have been missing reading this. I love this story, because its one of those familiar types that you can just sit down and enjoy after a long day :P

In response to your last response, I had completely forgotten about Flitwick's sister. Oops!

Haha, I can't imagine a ghoul singing for the Halloween feast :D leave it to Dumbledore. I'm glad that Lily is able to make progress with Remus, and how kind of Slughorn to allow use of the classroom and ingredients for practise.

I had completely forgotten about the Quidditch season. Hooray for James! Self defense or not, I am sure he enjoyed hexing a few Slytherins of his own. He should be proud that he was even able to, considering he is just a second year student. Hamilton seems a lot like Oliver Wood. But was there ever any doubt that Gryffindor wouldn't win?

Nice, Christmas at the Lupin's. I hardly ever see the Marauders at Remus's house, mostly they all seem to gravitate around the Potter place. I'm guilty of it too. I like, though, how you only have one or two of them able to join at a time (same as last year). Much more realistic than JKR's way of having Hermione always ditch her parents. haha! I enjoyed the descriptions of the Lupin home.

I love that song that Remus played on the piano. I find it really interesting that you have him play. I've always thought Sirius would be a fantastic piano player. Just something to do with the way he was raised, I would imagine he'd be good at and have had lessons in just about everything, including an instrument. I never thought of it for Remus though. I do think he'd really like music a lot. Jazz, maybe.

I think Sirius's gift to Remus was really cute :)

Author's Response: Don\\\'t worry about it :) I\\\'m having a tough time finding time to write now that I\\\'ve started my alleged part-time job. Yep Flitwick\\\'s sister was a casuality of Voldemort as well.

I always imagined Dumbledore picking some eccentric act for the Halloween feast. Slughorn is very accomodating to his favorite student and because she\\\'s helping Remus, he benefits from it.

I try to avoid writing Quidditch scenes. James will talk about it, obviously, but as for seeing an actual match that\\\'s not going to happen. James is very proud of himself. Yeah, I modeled Hamilton after Wood... he was a fun guy to write. I was said when I had to replace him.

I actually don\\\'t think they have Christmas at the Potters in my story. It makes sense for them too - the Potters must have a huge house. Hermione really did always ditch her parents, poor Mr. and Mrs. Granger. I love writing about the Lupin home so I\\\'m glad you liked the description.

I love that song too (I had just finished learning it when I wrote this chapter). I don\\\'t know why I picked that talent for Remus, I just thought of him pounding away his frustrations at a keyboard and the scene developed. Sirius would probably make a good player if he ever just sat still long enough. Remus tries to get Sirius into music.

Ooh the snowglobe. I don\\\'t know where that came from either, I just thought it\\\'d be a nice little gift for Remus. Thanks for reading!


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Review #20, by Stag NightRed Champion: 2 - Realisation

2nd July 2009:
I meant to return much sooner, but my modem has been having some issues. I finally got back online again just to find the sites been having problems! So perhaps its good I have been unable to review further, or they may have been lost. I have saved a copy of this one, so if it ends up disappearing, let me know and I can repost it :)

Eve is funny. I hate friends like that - the ones that seem to think they are above you. Ha, if I was Rose I would try to hook up with Scorpius just to spite her. But at the same time, I applaud you for your realism in this OC. The only thing I regret is that I will not be able to continue watching her humiliate herself trying to get Scorpius (looking seductive) because of their travel to Durmstrang.

Speaking of which, I thought was really cool. It was one thing that had not crossed my mind. I assumed that, since it was held at Hogwarts in Harrys time, it should always be at Hogwarts. But of course, why shouldnt it rotate between the schools? Its like the transfer student thing with a twist - they arent OCs, and its not Hogwarts. So Im really looking forward to that, not to mention the nice setup to get everyone they know - all their friends - out of the way so that Rose and Scorpus have only each other, and their relationship can blossom in a logical way.

Well, I assume all their friends, since watchers are allowed to go. Perhaps I should say most.

Scorpius certainly seems sensitive. Not that that is a bad thing. I think he definitely likes her a lot more than he wants her to know, otherwise her words wouldnt have had such an effect on him. Im glad Rose caught him after class to apologise.

Im really excited to for their trip to Durmstrang and to see what that school is like. I love reading about people packing for a trip. I dont know why - perhaps I am just weird. But I loved that Rose couldnt decide what to take, and that her suitcase was ready to burst. There is a sense of excitement there, anytime you are going to travel, and especially when you are going to travel with friends. It is so much fun to read about friends going to new places where nothing is familiar. I think even the closest of friends could be brought closer by situations like this, and I love them to death :D

Anyway, as for the writing itself, which I believe I forgot to comment on in the last review, your style is really refreshing. Its simple and easy to read and really lovely. You say what you want to say really well. I really liked this chapter, and am excited to see them in Durmstrang.

Author's Response: No worries about not returning sooner in the slightest! Things have been going a bit bizarre here for the last few days, speaking of which if my apostrophes come out as slashes in this I apologise but there seems to be nothing I can do about it!

Thankyou for such a long lovely review, I really do appreciate you taking the time on this when I know you must be so busy writing and validating.

Eve is the classic hateable character, I didn\\\'t want her to be too much the cliche enemy but in later chapters especially we get a bit more from her which shows her motivations.

Originally I had planned for the Tournament to take place at Hogwarts but I really wanted this story to be different from the norm and I was worried that if I set it at Hogwarts I would unwillingly slip into making it too much like GOF. I thought a different setting would mix it up a bit not to mention I really love writing new places and Durmstrang has been great to do.

To clear up the who is and isn\\\'t going to Durmstrang thing I\\\'ll explain. I really should have clearly stated this in the first few chapters but I never thought to, it is explained in a later chapter however. Well my thoughts were that obviously people to watch the Tournament were allowed and students would be able to volunteer to go unless they were in the First Year (which really you need to be at Hogwarts for), Fifth Year (OWL year) or Seventh Year (NEWT year - although you will see later some students do manage to persuade their way into going).

Because of that the majority of Rose\\\'s friends volunteered to go but because of the living arrangements it is a different set up and some friendships and relationships are definitely tested because of it.

I LOVE packing, there is something really satisfying about it. And unpacking now I mention it. So don\\\'t worry you\\\'re not the only one! I love the whole atmosphere surrounding it and the whole air of adventure knowing you\\\'re going somewhere new.

I\\\'m glad you like my writing style, I write and read back what I\\\'ve written over and over but sometimes when I get someone else to read it they can\\\'t understand it at all, because I write in a certain way only understandable by me.

Once again thank you for such a long review and for reading this. I feel almost embarrassed with you reading mine when your work is so beautifully written and mine leaves a lot to be desired! At any rate writing fanfiction is definitely helping me to improve.

Thankyou, thankyou and thankyou again!


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Review #21, by Stag NightBut Esau Have I Hated: Chapter 1 The Boy from the Park

26th June 2009:
I just validated your latest chapter on my staff account. I had to immediately come over here and add it to my favourites, because I was really impressed (and it's really rare I see something so awesome in the queue). It's really original thus far - I never see stories about Petunia. So though I have read chapter 5 already, I am here starting from the beginning.

I love how it started out, with the older sister running to tell on the younger one, and the younger one desperately chasing and begging her not to. I could just see two girls running like mad down the street. Haha. And I loved the description of the house and neighborhood, how modest. It sounds wonderful, like the type of neighborhood you'd see in those movies that always have good values.

I loved Petunia's jealousy. I think anyone with a sibling can admit that they always think the other is slightly favoured. I can remember telling on my siblings, thinking I'd get them in trouble, and it always seemed to turn around on me. How frustrating, but now that I'm older I can see I was just being ridiculous. But anyway, I love it, it's so realistic the way Petunia is behaving.

I'm glad that in their room, they seemed to make up a bit and still get along.

I'll be back to review within a few days. I have 2 other chaptered fics I'm currently reading in addition to writing my own, and I'm a validator, and then there is RL. So I'm not too fast, but I'll be back :)

Author's Response: Wow, such a good review! I hope to see more from you!

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Review #22, by Stag NightRed Champion: 1 - The Next Generation

26th June 2009:
I don't know if you have had a chance to see my responses to the reviews you left me, but I promised, in gratitude, to come and review your story. While I'm not as awesome of a reviewer as you are, I tend to ramble a LOT, so prepare yourself for this.

First of all, I find your idea really orginal and interesting. Granted, I don't read a lot of fanfic anymore, and what I do read is usually Marauder, so that could just be that I've not read enough Next Gen to know. But I am a validator, and I can honestly say that I haven't seen any stories in which the Triwizard Tournament is brought back in this era, and certainly not with rule changes where they have a partner. It is a fantastic way to get Rose and Scorpius together, although I really liked how you said they'd more or less grown up together anyway. It was nice to see them not be enemies, even if they didn't get along fantastically. It was good to see him soften in the end when she was upset. His nickname, Red, for her was pretty cool too. Oddly, it reminds me of something James would have said to Lily, and his attitude reminds me a little of James as well.

Typical girl, going for the chocolate when she is upset. Haha!

It is pretty cool to see this happen to Rose instead of Albus. I've been marveling at how different her approach to it is than Harry's was, though granted, Harry never wanted to be a part of it. But still. And thinking how cool it is that it is Ron's child living in the glory this generation, rather than Harry's. I am glad, however, that it's not all excitement and that she realised the dangers involved as well.

Well, as I mentioned earlier, it's pretty awesome how Scorpius softened up when he saw she was upset in the end. Haha, I am a sucker for tough guys acting sweet. He knew right away what was bothering her (though I suppose, given the circumstances, it would be obvious). It was fantastic that he actually laughed (characterisation-wise, I mean) and she actually became irritated in the middle of the conversation (same for her - characterisaion). But I liked how he told her she was a fighter - she's a Gryffindor for sure. I suppose his words didn't really change anything - he didn't offer advice, he seemed more surprised she was afraid. But we all know that sometimes all it takes is somebody to listen, and he was there for that, at least.

And I was pleased to see her back to her confidence, and the playful end to the chapter :) I will be back, possibly tomorrow, for chapter two. I have to read more on somebody else's story I've been reviewing, and I also have to validate in the queue.

Author's Response: Thank you so much for such a lovely review! I have indeed popped by and seen your responses to the reviews I left on the first few chapters of your story, speaking of which, I should hopefully be back to do some more today! Your responses were fantastic and I'm glad you exceeded the character limit at one point, that is quite an achievement.

I really do appreciate you offering to review my story, it's a really kind gesture.

Well for a start I like that you think it's an original idea; that's my major intention with this fanfic. I've read a lot over the site from all different era's although predominantly Marauders and seen not a massive amount where the Triwizard has come back at all. Some put it into Marauders, others do AU Hogwarts era, or from another pov Hogwarts era. So I hope this fills the gap in Next Gen!

I did consider using Albus as the main character and having him be the champion, but I had a feeling he would go one of two ways, either be too much like Harry, or too little like Harry, I think you always need traits recognisable in the kids from the parents but it's easy to go overboard.

Rose has definitely got a different approach than Harry did or - I should think - Albus would who Harry says in the Epi of DH is so much like himself of course. I think this reflects, as you said, that it's the daughter of Ron this time, a Weasley who is competing and not a Potter.

I always thought the Potter children would, in a way, live in the shadow of their father a bit - Albus in particular because I always consider James II to be like his grandfather and just throw off any responsibility or pressure. Speaking of which I think Scorpius is alot like James and Rose like Lily, I'm a massive fan of Marauder era and I've read so many more compared to Next Gen that I think it's just imprinted on the brain now! Also I did actually have a slip up with this which no-one has spotted thus far but I'll address in my next Author Note. In the first Chapter I mention how green Rose's eyes are, I've done it in other chapters as well, and only realised recently that's impossible since her parents have brown/hazel eyes. It's obviously the effect of Lily on my mind that made me make a mistake!

I love the tough guy/acting sweet thing as well, I think there's something great about it and there will be a fair amount more to come.

Thank you so much for taking the time to do this, I appreciate it massively! This is such a lovely and in-depth review ! :)


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Review #23, by Stag NightYou Want To Make A Memory?: Dinner Parties and Bad News

21st June 2009:
Awww.. it is great to see them finally working together again, and clearly a mighty wall has been breached now considering they are even rowdier than before. Remus has definitely let his guard and reserve down a little, and its really nice to see him having fun with his friends. (Also, leave it to McGonagall to throw in a trick question, unless it truly was accidental on her part? I liked how Peter said she'd still expect them to know what she meant anyway!)

lol at the potion incident. Poor Remus, he can't ever get a break in that class it seems. But at least it didn't turn out too terribly - it can't be that awful to be tutored by Lily, and aside from that, maybe his grade will actually improve. Plus I could see it giving further reason for Snape to hate them and them to hate him in return.

I enjoyed Slughorn's feast. It was really cool seeing Regulus there! I laughed when Sirius annoyed him to the point of making him walk away. I'm surprised James gets invited, though. I know he's really smart and probably decent at Potions (though I always thought he was just "acceptable" kind of like Harry) but it suprises me because - in the books - Lily was deliberately mentioned, but James never was in regards to Slughorn.

Anyway, that was a fantastic ending. I do feel bad for Alice, but for the sake of the story, it was really great. The first Voldemort-related death, and it is always scary when it hits close to home - one of your friends. Nice introduction of the dark mark, I'm sure all of the students have a lot to think about now, and I can feel the terror already starting to begin. I loved it.

Author's Response: I loved writing them working together again. As much as I enjoyed writing all the chapters where Remus was kind of left out because of their research, I love having all the Marauders together. Remus has let his guard down, now that he sees his friends aren't about to abandon him. He can be more truthful. Minerva McGonagall making a mistake? Perish the thought! Yes it was a mistake on her thought and, like Peter said, she'd still expect them to know the answer.

Nope, Remus is not allowed to have a break in that class. He actually likes the tutoring sessions with Lily and it brings their friendshi[ together, which is good for other bits in the story. It definitely is another reason for the Snape/Marauder hatred.

Regulus doesn't show up a significant amount in this, but when he does, I love writing him. The dynamic between him and Sirius is one of my favorites - Sirius is the older brother trying to looking out for him and Regulus is the younger one who thinks he can take care of himself. It's true that Slughorn fawned over Lily more than James, but he did mention James when he first met Harry. James won't be going to many Slug Parties though.

I feel bad for Alice too. This is actually the second Voldemort related death, the first was Flitwick's sister, but you never hear mention of the Dark Mark, I don't think. They do have a lot to think about, but life goes on... Thanks for reading!


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Review #24, by Stag NightYou Want To Make A Memory?: Remus's Tale

16th June 2009:
I just noticed that I'm equal with my own storty :D 17 chapters reviewed, and 17 up in mine. Although this makes 18. Anyway, sorry its taking me so long to get here. I've been considering moving... 2000 miles away, so its been busy. I am not meeting my goal of 1 review a day, and I am sooo sorry.

Anyway, this was such a good chapter. I love that Remus was considering running away from the school because he was so embarrassed and upset by the way things were happening. I'm really glad he came to his senses and realised how much so many people have done so he could be there. I think Dumbledore would have been pretty upset if he'd left like that, and I'm glad Remus thought of him specifically before deciding to unpack again.

When Sirius entered the room, I enjoyed it even more than when Peter did - the small talk. Perhaps because I like Sirius more :) But I really liked that he was perfectly comfortable to sit in the room with Remus to write his letter, as if he really wanted to say something. And I liked his apology as he left.

Wow, I can't believe he actually snuck out to the shack and saw Remus! That takes some guts. I never considered that any of them might go there prior to becoming Animagi, despite the fact that they have the cloak and probably could have. I have to say - I'm glad he went after the transformation, because I think a werewolf could probably sense or smell something there, invisible or not. Remus's injuries sounded horrible - I can't even imagine laying there, waiting, with such injuries, having to suffer til somebody came to get him. A broken wrist. I've said it before, but I will say it again. I know the transformations must have been awful, but you do a really great job of making it realistic and putting it all into perspective and really making people think about what it was like.

Anyway, it was nice that, in the end, his friends went to see him. I'm glad that Sirius could see why Remus hadn't told them after seeing the injuries. I hope James comes around - I know he already has, but I can't help but feel he can't REALLY understand until he sees what Sirius has seen. But anyway, it is nice to finally see them approach him and have them all admit things (even Remus) and now its all behind them and they can be friends again :)

Author's Response: That's true, you were equal with amount of chapters read here and the ones you have posted. Wow, 2000 miles? That's a big move. No problem, moving is more important than fanfiction :)

I don't know why, but I pictured Remus thinking about running away when it all became too much. I think I was remembering the chapter in DH when he ran from Tonks, seeing as this was the first chapter I wrote after I read that book, it starts playing into the story. But Remus is smart and knows how many people he would be letting down, especially Dumbledore. Dumbledore did what no other headmaster would do and gave him a chance. He couldn't ruin it.

(I like Sirius better too, so you get to see tons of Sirius goodness in this). Sirius was nervous, but part of him was trying to show Remus that he didn't hate him. He was really fighting with himself and that brought out the abrupt apology before he left. He hates abandoning one of his best friends. Sirius is really protective over Remus after this chapter.

Yep, Sirius has some serious guts. It's strange to see them going there without being Animagi or with the cloak, but Sirius was smart enough to go in the morning. A werewolf would definitely be able to smell a human there. It has to be terrible, waiting for someone to come and help and having to suffer at the same time. I try to do that with the transformations so I'm glad to hear it's working!

James does understand Remus better now, but he doesn't understand him as much as Sirius. I believe it's chapter 27 where James gets a better understanding (and in chapter 20, Sirius learns a bit more about it). Yep, they're friends again, always good. Thanks for reading!


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Review #25, by Stag NightYou Want To Make A Memory?: Abandonment

12th June 2009:
Aww. Poor Remus. I have to say that I like the way his friends avoid him. Not that its a good thing, but its so realistic that its something boys would do when finding out a big secret about somebody (and this one is particularly monstrous). I've only read a handful of fics that involve them finding out, but I've always seen them corner him right away, demand to know the truth and then shrug it off. So I really enjoy seeing them act nervous and afraid, and they don't want to offend him and they avoid him and then feel horrible about it. LOL it is really great, as odd as that sounds.

I like that Remus and Lily are friends - I've always thought that Lily would have gotten along with each of James's friends really well - even Sirius - and James himself would be the only one left out. So I liked that it was she that came to talk to him. And it's interesting to see that he already knows why his friends are avoiding him. I have to admit that I was surprised he told her so much. I mean, to tell her he gets sick every month, and then to tell her his illness is one thats not well accepted makes it sound really obvious. But then I remembered that she's a Muggleborn and probably doesn't even realise things like werewolves are real yet. So I suppose it still works fine after all.

Poor Peter, so awkard. I really liked him in this chapter. I actually enjoyed his efforts to make small talk with Remus and try to be a good friend, despite what he knows and the fact that Remus was obviously lying about the glass. (And poor hopeless kid can't get his knot out, haha).

I hope they tell him soon.

Author's Response: I've also read a lot of fics where they corner him right away, and I've liked most of them, but I wanted to try something different with them avoiding him. It's not really because he's a werewolf, but more because he thought he couldn't trust them with it.

The scene between Lily and Remus was one I got from the scene in the POA movie when Remus and Harry are on the bridge and he's talking about Lily seeing the beauty in other's when they couldn't see it in themselves. I thought that seemed like a good scene for Lily and Remus to have. He does tell her, but Lily forgets about it after a while and continues to think his mother gets sick.

Peter was good in this chapter. He wants to be Remus's friend, but can't seem to do it without thehelp of the others. Poor useless knot, just a stupid little detail.

They'll be doing that in the next chapter. Thanks for reading!


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