Well done! You're right--I did like it. And don't worry, I'm not going to pester you for an update (I know I have been one of the most lax updaters as of late).
I enjoyed this, especially being as I tend to read primarily Hogwarts-era stories. This was a nice change of pace, and I already like what you're doing with the characterization for the Marauders, Lily and the rest of their crowd (including Faye, of course). Looking forward to seeing where you'll go with this!
And yes, the reason I made it over here for a review is because I FINALLY got online to post an update to Reeltime..;)Author's Response: thanks! haha and thanks for not pestering me for an update, as I really have no idea when I'm going to get chapter two up!
I think you'll like where I'm planning on going with this story... theres some interesting twists in it.
Yay! I'll go read it now!
â¥Annaa Report Review
I'm glad you took the time to write an epilogue...I really did want a chance to finally see the characters "together"!
What I really liked is that you made a point to mention that Hermione will never be the same (who would; life experiences shape and change us into what we become), but you can still see glimpses of where she came from: the bookshelves, reading avidly, etc.
And the realization and declaration of love...very realistic.
Overall, a great effort! I'm so glad I got the chance to read it! :)Author's Response: I am so glad you did too. Thank you so much for all of your feedback (especially my little errors).
I thought that this story really needed an epilogue, I needed to show that they were both able to heal, in time. That it did take time as well and it was not an immediate thing.
I too also think that Ron would never be able to be replaced and needed that to be made clear in here, so I am glad I achieved it.
Thank you so much for all of your reviews I really appreciated every one of them. Catch you on the flipside (and by that I mean at PHFF). Report Review
Aw, so Ron DID die. I thought that may have been the case, in order for the Dramione to be believable, but I was still sad to see it happen. And you know that I am NOT one of the biggest Ron fans, so being able to make me sad to read about his death is quite an accomplishment!
Well done, Springy! This was a great story. As you can see, I had to make time to get back so that I could read it straight through. I said it before and I'll say it again:
Addict, indeed!Author's Response: LOL... super blushing now. I am flattered beyong belief that I was able to make you sad about Ron's death... I think I should get some kind of award here... turning you, gem and witchy into Ron un-haters.
It is the highest praise I could have recieved. :) Thank you. Report Review
Only one more chapter?! NO!! NO!! NO!!
Just kidding. I stuffed the Springy Fan Girl back into the closet; it's safe now.
Anyhoo, I am excited about finding out once and for all what happened to Hermione! We have Draco's story, so that is the last part of the puzzle. This story was so well structured because there really isn't a dull part to it. It really sucks you in. Speaking of, I really have to find out what happens next...
(p.s. To keep this review from being totally Fan Girl, I am going to offer one CC: the spelling should be course, not coarse.)Author's Response: Damn I thought I caught all of those... Shoot! Thanks for pointing it out.
Poor fan girl stuck in a closet... I hope you are feeding her, they tend to die if you dont.
Really blushing about your wonderful praise and am so pleased that you are enjoying this so much. Thank you again and again... (see I have a fan girl too, though I make sure she gets her proper nutrients by feeding her beer and pringles). Report Review
Okay, if Harry has been following her all along, why didn't he intervene sooner? (I'm sure you're going to answer this in a future chapter; I'm just letting you know what is most likely to be going through the reader's head at this point.)
It's nice to see Hermione's attachment to the 'books'...she can't see that she is just as attached to the one who's providing them, but the reader most definitely can. This relationship is developing quite realistically; gradually, tentatively, because there is so much to be overcome.
Gotta go; I have another chapter to read! :DAuthor's Response: Well I hope that that question is made more clear, but my reasoning is more that he had tried, but what could he really do with someone who rejected every attempt. I don't think he wanted to approach her about it, but would have tried to steer her away from that lifestyle... or that is what my Harry did anyway... It is hard to know what to do for a friend when they wont accept your help, I do know that well enough.
The books symbolize her slowly progressing back to her old self, so I am glad that that was easily percieved.
Thanks again Purp so much for coming to review all of this :) Report Review
And now more of the story unfolds. So...a muggle cheated on Draco, eh? I'm surprised it didn't cause him to revile the muggle world once again. But then again, 5 years really changes a person. It was also really nice to see Hermione laugh for the first time in this chapter. I would have liked to have read about her POV reaction/surprise at still being able to laugh, but then again, who knows what the next chapter has in store?
Well, I'm going to find out!!Author's Response: That wouldn't have been a bad idea... probably wont go back to this story for a while, but someday I might change it around a bit.
I figure that he realized in five years how useful muggles can be, and though he probably is not too thrilled with this particular muggle, he can still appreciate thier acheivements. At least this Draco can. :) Don't let Dan see this story though, because then I might get flamed. Report Review
Wow...Hermione's flat has NO bookshelves. Now it is driving me crazy to find out what happened to her! Thank Merlin this story is already finished and I have the luxury of reading it straight through, otherwise I'd be climbing the walls right about now.
I found the description of Hermione's depression in this chapter to be particularly well done. I've been there before and that's just how it is...excellent job, there.
Okay, here's my one CC to keep me from sounding like Springy Fan Girl: awoken isn't a word--'awakened' would heve worked better in the third sentence to the opening paragraph here.
On to the next! :-DAuthor's Response: Yes... you are correct. And my Word probably even caught that and I just ignored it like the stupid spelling make up word person that I am... God I need to stop being lazy, that is why I got a Beta for Regretfully, couldn't handle the pressure of getting the grammar and spellin stuff right.
So glad that you have the whole story to read as well. I know that is how I feel about completed works, it is always nicee to be able to finish them, especially when sometimes authors tend to abandon their stories.
I really am so happy that you like how I did Hermione in this... she hass gone through a whole lot and though I haven't been in as a dark of a place I have been in not so nice ones and know how deep it can take you.
Okay rambling for this is done. Report Review
Ooh, action! Written just as well as introspection, I might add! A few minor grammatical errors (How could she have let it get this far. should end with a question mark; "Now I suggest you leave before he see's you," shouldn't have an apostrophe s, etc.), but they're so overshadowed by the writing that I feel like a dolt for even mentioning them. I guess I just want to keep from sounding too much like a fan girl in my reviews! ;P
Anyway, great job as always, and on to the next chapter!Author's Response: Don't worrya bout mentioning my grammatical errors as I am sure this story is rife with them... I am horrible with punctuation and spelling, really really horrible... and it isn't that I don't know these things, it is that my fingers seem to have a mind of their own when I am typing and my editing skills lack because if I look too closely I end up changing everything and taking forever to get a chapter out... okay jeeze I need to stop rambling (been home alone all day with no one to talk to tends to do that to me). Report Review
First off, you don't need dialogue in every part of the story. It isn't always called for. Particularly in this story, where it is so introspective. When you're trying to learn about the inner demons that the character is facing, you really need to get into their head--hence, a lot less dialogue. Continue to trust your instincts when you write; no one knows the story better than you.
Alas, this is the last chapter I can read for the day...I feel like Draco, waiting anxiously outside Hermione's flat. :(Author's Response: I see more reviews up there so I wont cry just yet :) I am happy that you feel that way about dialogue, because while I love dialogue I too think that stories like this one don't really need as much... this isn't so much an action driven story as an observational one about getting over one's own demons. Well yeah, blabbing again... onto the next review! Report Review
Again with the POV switch...it worked out well because it answered all of the questions I had. Interesting idea...Draco having to live as a muggle for 5 years. Talk about a just punishment! It's also one of the few things that would make his character dropping a lot of his prejudices believable. And now I know what he was dong in a muggle bar!
And on to the next chappie...Author's Response: Ah, question was answered... good! Yes I figured that it would need to be something pretty drastic to make him change his POV on the whole muggle thing. I also can't really picture him being able to et off scott free after the war, I mean he was a death eater and he technically never defected. Anyway... rambling. Thanks again and so glad you liked it Report Review
I really like the way you are showing the flashbacks in conjunction with the current events...showing where she is and how she got there simultaneously, so to speak. That's not an easy thing to do without making it confusing, but you've managed to do it with a nice flow that keeps the reader thirsting for more!
Addict, indeed!Author's Response: Yay! I had one reviewer tell me that they passed over the flashbacks, and while I respect their taste I felt that it kinda ruined the point of the story without that bit of information... Maybe that is just me though. Glad to know that they were done well as I have seen quite a few flashback sequences that were superfluous (Not sure if I spelled that right) :) Report Review
This is very well done, Springy! Totally believable character development so far. Now this is probably going to be a pretty useless review for you, but you left it on one hell of a cliffie and I really want to get to the next chapter!
I promise to leave a better review for the next chapter..;)Author's Response: No review is useless... either way you took the time not only to read but to leave me a little note, so I am pleased :) Thanks so much Purp meister Report Review
So what is Draco Malfoy doing in a muggle bar? Is this typical, or did he show up in hopes of running into Hermione? Hmmm...this is so intruiging!
And the flashback was very well done, by the way. I can't stand stories that contain one that starts like this: *flashback*!
It's so comforting to read a story that is not only extremely interesting, but also well executed.
And on to the next chapter!Author's Response: Wow I am so excited that you have come by... I hope you are not dissapointed.
Since I can tell you read on I figure that the first question has been answered.
I am really glad that you like how I am going about writing this story :) Report Review
All right, Springy, I can already see that this story is aptly named...I can see myself becoming very quickly addicted to this fic! I really liked how you switched POVs during the scene so that the reader can get both characters' perspectives...makes for richer storytelling.
Well done and looking forward to reading more chapters tomorrow! :)Author's Response: Looking forward to reading more of your reviews tomorrow! I am glad that you can see where I am taking this story and I hope you like it. It is abit dark at first, but I think it gets better...at least I hope. Report Review
Hmmm...very dark, but very intriguing! I can see why this story came so highly recommended. Yes, it is OOC, but the characters are conveyed strongly enough so that I am already sympathizing with them. What an original idea so far, and so good...
All right, enough of this! I could be reading the next chapter, and I have time for one more before I have to get back to work on PHFF...
On we go! :)Author's Response: Oh Yay...you have come by. So excited. they are OOC, but not really I think of it more as time has changed them and this is what they have become. I hope you like it and that it lives up to the hype. Report Review
Wow. This was very well written...it fills in parts in canon that we never got to see, and really fits in perfectly! Maybe it IS a little darker than your usual fics, but you really have a knack for it! I thought the characterizations were perfect, and the storyline perfectly plausible. I think you did an excellent job on Bellatrix, a character that we really don't know all that much about, which makes it an even more impressive feat.
Great writing!Author's Response: Thank you so much, Purple:D I've actually been dancing around the idea of writing this fic for a couple of years now, then finally decided to do it. I did enjoy writing about how Bellatrix and Voldy might've met and joined forces, lol. I appreciate your wonderful comments! Thank you again:) Report Review
Sorry I took so long to get to this review--I think I have been taking on too many writing jobs at once!!
Anyway, in a way, I'm glad it took me a while to get back to this, because it was like reading it for the first time all over again. And I think it's off to a great start! The character of Grandfather Morey Granger is priceless--I hope he ends up being in more of the story. "Seeing-eye-bitch"...lol.
I did notice that I must've missed one correction when I Betaed--the word "knows" (last sentence in first paragraph) is missing an "s"...and no apostrophe necessary...sorry about that.
Anyway, I am so glad that you're posting your stories on HPFF--I think you have a knack for fan fic, and I'm looking forward to Chapter 2! How's it coming along?Author's Response: Chapter 2 will be out soon. I'm happy you got the jokes. Trying out more of a U.K. type of thing here. So totally AU. Thanks for checking it over for me. Catch your Dramione chapter soon I hope too. Report Review
Well done! This was an amazing chapter! I think you did a phenomenal job of painting the character of Tobias Snape--the chapter was made particularly riveting by writing it from his POV, thereby seeing glimpses of the wizarding world through muggle eyes.
I wish I could write more about this chapter, but I have to get going, and believe me, it is KILLING me that I won't be able to get to the next chapter until later...
Again, excellent job; I so enjoyed reading this.Author's Response: Once again, I thank you so much for your review.
This started as a minor project. I actually planned a completely different story that was to follow an offspring of Snape through Hogwarts. (That's the reason for the "Prologue" on the title. I still consider this a prologue to a longer story that I may write sometime this century.) I was just going to write a few short chapters explaining how Snape happened to have a forgettable one-night-stand with a Muggle -- no big deal. But then, I realized that, to set up even a relatively minor deviation from Snape's canon persona, I needed a lot of backstory. The parents were demanding to have their stories told (as characters will do), and I ended up writing whole chapters about Toby and Eileen, positing how they got together and what their temperments and parenting were like. (Spoiler alert: if Child Protective Services had been more active in the early 1960s, Severus would have grown up in a foster home.) So I ended up with an entire separate story of Snape's background and childhood.
I look forward to reading your comments on my writing. Report Review
Well, I am so glad that I finally got the time to start this story! You have immediately tackled one of the issues in OotP that had always bothered me: If Severus loved Lily so much, how could he possibly call her a mudblood? And I find this one section to be so very telling:
"In truth, once you got inside the common room, Muggle-born students were almost never called anything but mudbloods. And now it had slipped out, and--cost him everything."
How very true. A boy who has never fit in anywhere would try so desperately to be accepted as a Slytherin that he would most definitely adopt their "language". It's so sad that the attiude that makes him fit in with the Slytherins is the very thing that makes him lose what he cares about above all else...
I can't wait to read the next chapter!Author's Response: I am truly delighted that you took the time to look up my story (that I've been working on forever). I really appreciate that you left this review.
I think you are absolutely right. A boy who had grown up less deprived, who was not looking at a choice between conformity to Slytherin mores and painful isolation, might have weighed his options quite differently. Mulciber and the others may have been evil jerks, but they were something Severus had never had before in his life, that Lily took for granted -- friends.
As I was writing this, I was just reflecting on how cruel kids can be without intending to, only because it's such a difficult time of life.
Bravo!!! I just read this coming off of the Cho Chang hating thread, and it was SO satisfying! This story really had everything in it for me...angst, sweetness, romance, and a touch of humor. You've also converted me because I've never really cared for song fics, but I so enjoyed this one! Very well done and I can't wait to read more of your fics...Author's Response: Thank you, Purple:D I'm so glad you enjoyed my little anti-Cho fic, lol! I'm also happy to know that my fic made you like songfics better. I look forward to reading your fics as well when I find time in my busy schedule! Thanks again for the great review:) Report Review
Excellent job! I am so glad to see this posted! I hope it means that there will eventually be a few more to follow, maybe?? ;)
Anyway, I loved the ending! Now the story flows along nicely and definitely makes you smile at the end. Well done, because it leaves the reader wanting more, which means you might have to start working on another one sometime soon!Author's Response: If you were the only review I ever got, I would die a happy person. My helper is now busey in thought for something different. Thanks for reviewing me. Tlk soon! Report Review
This was a wonderful first attempt! I love post-War fics (as you can tell from what I write :) and I think you are off to a great start. Excellent plot possibilites, strong characterization, and just all-out good writing!
I like your use of Zabini, also--I am using him myself in my latest story--he is a great foil for Draco.
Looking forward to the next chapter...hope it's updated soon!Author's Response: oh wow thanks so much purpleheart! i'm so happy! yay! yeah i see in hogwarts respite you've been using blaise... and i like how its turning out!
blush Report Review
An strong start--looking forward to the next chapter. Hope you update soon.Author's Response: I will have the next chapter up soon, I hope, I was further along in this story than I am in my others. It could be a little while though, my exams are only just finishing next week. Thank you so much for reviewing, I'm glad you like it.
xx ~ lily Report Review
Another great chapter! I am really enjoying your story & can't wait until you update. Good luck on your exams :)Author's Response: thankyou!!! that's good to hear! lol! and thanks for the good luck wish!
Rose :) Report Review
That has got to be the funniest chapter I have read in quite some time! Great job...I can't wait to get to the next chapter...
p.s. Loved the chapter pic too--absolutely hilarious!Author's Response: lol! yes it was rather hilarious... glad you enjoyed! and i hope you like the next chapter too!
you like the chapter image? thats great! as i was only thinking today that maybe its a little strange... its only texturised like that because in the original version ive had to paint snapes robes green! so it looked messy... but yay you like it!
thanks for the review!
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