Hilarious chapter. This coup should be exciting. Anyways, Im in a bit of a hurry, so I wont blather on about everything that was great, just my favorite line "Provoking Dom rather like provoking dragon. Fun until suddenly dead." Great chapter!Author's Response: Thanks! Do hope I manage to make it exciting. I've actually got a pretty good idea of where I want things to go and when, so hopefully it will all turn out okay.
That was probably my favourite line too actually.
Thanks again for reviewing! Report Review
this story is really good, even this last chapter which seems to turn rose/scorpius into a repetition of dramione, which i generally just find tiring. but that said, i thought it worked well within the story, which is very good, i dont know if i mentioned that... anyway, please do update soon, im dying to know what happens next, and particularly whats on scorpius' mindAuthor's Response: Haha, it's because I dislike Rose/Scorpius even more than Draco/Hermione - it is very much a repetition, with the two warring families and the prejudice between them. But I'll watch out for that too, as I want to stay away from making the Rose/Scorpius relationship mirror Draco/Hermione.
It's great that you liked this story and want to know what happens next. :D Thank you very much for taking the time to read and review it! Report Review
so this story is honestly one of the more original things ive read on this site in a while. very well written, teh characters are interesting and the plot is very captivating and im rather anxious to know what happens next, so please do update soon! Report Review
this story so far is amazing. the begining sort of annoyed me but now im glad that i kept on reading because i have loved these latest chapters. i like the character of scorpius but i love the way he makes rose act/think, the way her character comes across now that hes in the story. before rose seemed sort of naive and aloof, things which arent normally so bad in characters but somehow tiring, i think because she never seemed to show interest in any one else. but she is certainly bewitched by scorpius and his stories, im looking forward to reading how it comes out. another thing i like is your narrative style. i like how charmed you seem to be by your own characters and the almost maternal way you describe them. it reminds me of northanger abbey a bit. anyway, ill quit before this review becomes any more incomprehensible (if thats at all possible). please please do update soon! Report Review
hahahaha this is brilliant! i especially loved the part about lily suddenly falling for james. i cant even put into words how great this is, but im sure youre pretty aware of that anyway, so i wont try. please please please update soon!!Author's Response: We'll try to keep the updates coming, but it's a little difficult now as we're both at different colleges. :(
Thanks for the review! Report Review
nice story. it had an interesting idea and you developed it quite wellAuthor's Response: Thank you! Report Review
interesting story, very nicely writtenAuthor's Response: Thank you so much for your kind words. Report Review
very interesting beginning. the founders seem very modern - toilets and detentions and all. i thought people had dungeons back in the day for things like that... anyway nicely written, please do continue it and update soon!Author's Response: haha, I didn't even think that back then toilets weren't commonly used XD I'll have to go back and edit that! Thanks for the review! Report Review
a very interesting take on the founders. the few stories i have read that placed them in medieval england among muggles got very tiring very fast, but this story seems very interesting, i would love to read more. please do update soon!Author's Response: Thank you so much, henryjones! I'm so thrilled to hear that you enjoyed this and I really do appreciate your feedback. The next chapter is in the works and should be posted soon. I hope you have a great week! Take care!
celticbard Report Review
very nice first chapter, im certainly anxious for more. please do update soon!Author's Response: Thank you! I'll try to update soon!
great story so far, this cliffhanger really isnt fair, ive jst read all the previous chapters and none of them ended with cliffhangers i dont think but of course the last one does. oh well, youll just have to update soon then right?Author's Response: Aha, I do love my cliffhangers! I'm terrible, I know xD I should hopefully be updating soon as I've got most of chapter twelve written, but I probably shouldn't make any promises because I'm a dreadful updater ;)
Thanks so much for the review! Report Review
so when i read the description of this story i have to admit, i was a little nervous. ive read some of your other stories and really liked them but the whole penpals-who-think-they-hate-each-other-in-real-life thing is overdone and often very cliche and hard to believe. but i do think this story is a lot better than most, i liked youve got mail (the movie) and this story is quite good as well. anyway, please update soon! Report Review
excellent story so far. the characters are wonderfully written and although its not looking like im going to be able to get out a very coherent review, i do love it. even if that isnt very apparent... anyway, please update soon this is amazing!Author's Response: Firstly, thank you so much for reviewing this as well as Pandemonium! Secondly, I'm so glad you liked it! Thanks for reading :) Report Review
very nice story. the picture of remus is very hauntingAuthor's Response: Thank you! Haunting is exactly the way I was trying to characterise Remus - one who is haunted by ghosts and his own curse. Report Review
really entertaining story, the part with the shoes was great. please update soon!Author's Response: Hahaha, I'm glad you liked it! Thanks so much for reviewing :) Report Review
good first chapter. at the risk of sounding too snarky, i thought id point out a small but reoccuring error. youre is a contraction of you are. you used it several times in place of the possesive your. its a small error, but its sort of a pet peeve, so i hope youll forgive me pointing it out like a stickler...Author's Response: Thankyou! I wrote this last summer, I know there are so many errors! I'm sorry, I just sort of abandoned this story, to be honest, I haven't gone back to edit, however, I will asap. No problem, I appreciate the correction. Thanks for reading and reviewing! Report Review
this story is really good. the characters especially seem very believable, which is great because normally i think the whole shag someone then dont remember as a device to get people to realize their feelings is a little contrite but this is really well written. the authors notes apologizing for waits between updates worry me but... ;) please update soon!Author's Response: Thankyou, I'm glad you think so :) I'd read so many Teddy/Victoire stories where I didn't like their characterization.. so, I thought I'd write my own.
I honestly didn't think the story would turn this way, I can't say that I like this story that much... I didn't start this story for it to center around them shagging... it just happened, however, the focus will turn in the next chapter.
I'm touched you think its well-written, really. The next chapter is coming along much quicker... so hopefully it'll be out soon.. although, I can't say when. Thankyous for reading and reviewing! Report Review
this story is a beautiful moment. i cant think of any better or other way to say that, so this will be a short review. anyway, brilliant!Author's Response: Thank you very much! It is just a moment in time, which suits the short story (one-shot) form. It's wonderful that you liked this piece! Report Review
hey, so ive read all these chapters but i felt like it would be rather redundant to review each one since basically what i have to say is that its great. that said, i do have some criticism, but do keep in mind that the storys great, things just always seem to come out harsh. so what bothered me in this story was how quickly things moved because it made it seem a little choppy. the kiss, for example happened so quickly that i almost missed it. i know that was sort of the point, but maybe if you had described it in more detail or if lily had thought about it more or something. i realise her character is supposed to be very impulsive but somehow i wish the narration was a little less so, maybe with more reflections or if conversations were longer or something. the story seems to tell about 10% of the days/lives/etc of the characters, so maybe if there was more detail the characters would have more chance to be developed. i feel like a lot of character development happens in the authors notes at the end of the chapters. i do love that a lot of things happen (it keeps it from getting boring) but reading this story is getting a little exhausting. i do like it though.
so if that wasnt incomprehensible enough. the story really is very good and please do update soon! ;)Author's Response: Haha man, this story is definitely deserving of some criticism. Anyone, point is I'm definitely willing to take it onboard. If you came to this after Monday, Monday I can definitely understand why you would be disappointed :P
Okay - read through the whole thing properly now. I won't try to address your specific points because really, you're spot on. Well, except for the kiss - because I don't quitee agree about that.
What I thought was most interesting was your point about the importance of separating the characters impulsiveness from a narrative impulsiveness. If I remember correctly, this story was actually the first time I tried writing in first-person so there's my excuse. Works for the character development point as well :P
Seriously, thanks for your critique. It's definitely something I'll work towards in any future chapters. Report Review
this story is amazing! i read (and favorit-ed) the one shot which this is a continuation of i guess. it was also amazing. very funny i love the way you narrate it. anyway update soon this is great!Author's Response: Thanks so much! It's so good to know that people liked AGS enough to come over to this as well. And when I say people, I obviously meant you. Anyway, glad it's making you laugh, chapter three is written and waiting for the queue and I've started chapter four. Look back soon, it'll be there! Report Review
omg, so when i studied chemistry back in the day (what am i saying? it was only last year!) i had this long complicated saga/dream about racist elements that lynched oxygen for being so irregular... it was intense...
anyway, about this chapter. it was cool. the cats name is cool. i was sad the lily wasnt in it... Report Review
so lily continues to be really awesome. for some odd reason, shes my favorite character. which doesnt really make sense because this is her second appearence and she isnt really a character... but she my fave.
so are teddy and vicky (sorry i like it...and it makes their names rhyme.which is awesome) like real werewolves (sorry, just reminded me of pinocio... hehe) or like half werewolves... because bill weasely wasnt even a real werewolf... Report Review
so you forgot the people who were supposedly dead not being dead, or whole seasons turning out to be dreams... ahhh, the joys of soap operas...
anyway, i got nothing to say bout this chappie. so ill shut up and read the next'un. yeehaw. Report Review
dude, so even though ive already read this, im totally excited for the next chapter, because in the authors note you said it would be like an all my children marathon. and is there anything better than soap operas?
btw, i love your authors notes in the middle of the story. there awesome. Report Review
so im back! this time to annoy you pretending to know about writing! so my inteligent literary critique is that this sentance -Standing at six feet two inches, Teddy put on a clean pair of robes and his shoes- bothers me. i feel like the first part should get paired up with an action in the second part. idk.
and continuing with the whole annoying-criticizing-reviewer thing, i think tonks was brunette. and that teddy appears to have only one roommate... the way you introduced lance as his roommate without naming anyone else...
btw, this was an awesome chapter. i love lily potter. just for drawing a sparkly heart. i dont know why, but it seemed really awesome. and i had this whole image in my mind of awesome sparkly hearts, which was awesome...
anyway, now im done... Report Review
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