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Reading Reviews From Member: Flower n Prongs
  
272 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Flower n ProngsThe Worst: Dreading The Worst

17th April 2017:
Hello, I'm here for CTF. :)

First and foremost, I like how Dominique is a bit different. She seems almost wild and has to be somewhat brave due to her job. The description of her hair and the photos you chose for the CI help add to this. Because of that and the Weasley stereotype I was expecting you to make her into a Gryffindor. I was pleasantly surprised to find out that she was a Ravenclaw. As a 'Claw myself I love characters who are well-rounded and not just bookworms who fit into my house.

Having her as a journalist is a unique touch. I've only seen a few Daily Prophet journalists in fic (discounting Rita). Her job here made me wonder if she was given it because of her family's history of bravery or their association with werewolves. (Although perhaps Bill's isn't well known?) It is a good way to get her out of her comfort zone.

Minor note - "Full Moon" is capitalized and it shouldn't be.

It is clear from her thought process that she is rational and level-headed about taking risks. Realizing at the last possible minute that she is still there when the full moon is approaching and then here is very scary. I wonder what made her lose track of time? Either way, the thought of hearing the howling off in the distance is a chilling thought.

Oh no, the lack of apparation! Hindsight being 20/20 and all, I can't belive that nobody thought to check that out beforehand. Oh dear. Poor Dominique, this is all going down a dark path.

Since this is chapter 1 I am going to assume that she is okay and will have a "furry little problem" to deal with in the future. I look forward to seeing what happens next. :)

- R

Author's Response: Thanks for reading and reviewing! I love writing Dominique and I have always seen her as a Claw, she is smart but not all books. So I am glad you liked that!

Trust you claws to point out typos haha - i'll fix the full moon.

It is all indeed going down a dark path! Thanks for the comments.


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Review #2, by Flower n ProngsThe Seer: Seize

4th April 2017:
Hello! I'm here for CTF.

While the fact that this is a part of a series, the summary drew me in. The idea of another prophecy coming to have such a big impact on the lives of a Potter has the possibility to cliche but so far it doesn't seem like that. (Now, if you go all "James Sirius is the chosen one!" I retain the right to revoke that comment haha.)

Some of your characterizations seem really different. The fact that Ginny is still playing professional Quidditch despite being 40-ish is really impressive. For many characters that may seem like a bit of a stretch, but it seems like Quidditch has the potential to be more like curling or archery where if you have good aim and a good arm that you can continue for longer. Also, Ginny is such a head-strong person in canon that I can definitely see her pushing herself.

I like the tension that you are already setting up between Albus and James II. All too often in fic you see the extended Potter-Weasley clan as one big, giant happy family. It's a nice idea, but I can't see it happening with that many people. I also know so many people who didn't necessarily have any MAJOR problems with their siblings but still weren't best of friends, so this is nice. I'm sure you will explore some of the reasons behind this and how this all changes in the next many, many chapters in this story (and perhaps the next?) so I look forward to seeing how it unfolds.

I'm assuming James's collapse at the end is the epilepsy you are referring to. I do appreciate somebody who takes the time to do research, so I look forward to seeing how you incorporate what you have found. I don't think I've ever seen a character who has seizures in a fic before, so this should be interesting to read about.

- R

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Review #3, by Flower n ProngsThis changes everything : Finding out

1st April 2017:
This seems like just the sort of story you tricky badgers would hide a flag in, so...

I am always intrigued by AU stories, because there are so many options about what to change and you can see the impact of little events. I know AU stories also don't always get the attention they deserve, which is a shame.

Parts of this feel very real, even though you are deviating from canon. I can definitely see that Auror training could cost money, since it is almost like a post-secondary program. It makes me sad for Ron (and Harry!) that money would get in the way of them doing the program together, but I guess being a hero doesn't exactly offer a salary. And the stubbornness to not take money from Harry - who you just know offered to help his best friend out - is very true to book Ron.

A couple minor issues I noticed: you are missing the comma before the closing quotation mark in "Hey babe." I'm also assuming that baby Victoria is supposed to be baby Victoire, but that might be part of the AU depending on her date of birth and whatnot so if it was on purpose just ignore that point.

Hermione just bursting into tears when she has to tell Ron she is pregnant seems very in character. For somebody who always did things by the book and followed what her parents and teachers expected of her, getting pregnant by a new boyfriend would be a shock. She would also be pretty young (~20?) and is clearly career oriented, so this could throw a wrench in her plans for the future. I've also heard that many people who are trying to get pregnant have a "What have we done!?" moment, so for an unplanned pregnancy that almost seems necessary. The fact that Ron was shocked at first instead of instantly jumping into excitement also helps add to the realism of this scene.

- R

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Review #4, by Flower n ProngsWrapped in Red: Chapter 1: Christmas Cheer

1st April 2017:
What better time to review a Christmas story than on April Fool's Day? The concept of a Secret Santa just seems so fun and fluffy that it is hard to resist.

I'm glad that you did not make the entire thing Hermione's idea, since she is not the most creative character. However, the fact that you have her being the one to want to expand the Secret Santa from their friends to every student in the school regardless of age, house, or holiday they celebrate is so Hermione. It is exactly what the young woman who invented SPEW would come up with. Ensuring that people pull names of people in other houses rather than their own is a nice twist, especially since in canon we see very few inter-house relationships.

Ginny's ears turning red! That's a nice Weasley family trait to write in. :) I feel bad for her saying that she and Ron are the poorest students in school, even if it is true. It's a shame that its something that they feel embarassed about. I think that's why I like the idea of the price cap so much.

I love the twist of it having to be a secret! This will add some nice drama later, I'm sure. Trying to come up with ideas and getting to know Malfoy without being able to tell people why she's doing it is definitely not going to be smooth sailing. I do hope we will eventually find out who has the other students we know and who buys for them, though.

This is a nice fluffy fic for a Saturday night. :)

- R

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Review #5, by Flower n ProngsLike Clockwork: Memories

1st April 2017:
I'm baaack!

I'm a sucker for time travel stories and you are pulling this one off really well so far. Since you have changed how she goes back and forward in time to a unique method, you have a bit more leeway with the process. You're doing a good job at explaining it to make sure readers can follow without giving us too much. I appreciate that you've given part of the explanation in two chapters, so it's not too much shoved down our throats at once but it helps my understanding.

The glimpses of history, Muggle and magical, was a neat touch.

I love how on the ball McGonagall is! Slytherin robes even though she just arrived? Unexpected, Seer-ish weirdness that McGonagall seemed to be trying to place? Perfect.

The line about the ease with which Dumbledore could like was a nice touch, referencing his past and hinting at some of the stuff Cecily had experienced in the early 20th century without being too on the nose.

Marauders! I love them and the way she is interacting with them already. The fact that James's eyes are attractive, the reaction to Peter, all of it. I especially liked this line: "I had scars as well. Only mine were burn marks up my back." It was a great way to bring it back to the first scene.

One minor problem I noticed was that she was apparently in the "fatal position" instead of the "fetal position". That was the only typo that stood out to me.

This is a really unique, enjoyable story so far.

- R

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Review #6, by Flower n Prongs'Till Death Do Us Part: Chapter 20

1st April 2017:
I like that you have dealt with some of the dangers of dealing with magical creatures. We see some accidents in the books and films, but they are usually minor, caused as the result of a fight that wizards are using spells, or sheer stupidity (ie. Malfoy with Buckbeak). To show that somebody who is well qualified and has dedicated his life to working with magical creatures can be injured badly enough to need to stay in the hospital is a nice touch. It definitely adds realism to the story.

Amelia seems like such an awesome wife. Even though she is very pregnant with twins and must be extremely uncomfortable and exhausted, she is still doing her best to support James and putting him first. It is very sweet, as is James doing his best to make sure that she is taking care of herself and trying to take care of both of them.

Her collapsing is very scary. There are so many bad things that can happen with her falling or complications that are more common with twins (blood pressure, preterm labour and the works). I hope she's okay and that something bad isn't going to happen to her and or the babies. I know I said I like realism, but that is taking it a step too far for me.

James's line about her and the boys being everything is swoonworthy. I don't know if my heart can take more of that.

- R

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Review #7, by Flower n Prongs'Till Death Do Us Part: Chapter 9

1st April 2017:
Oh, the awkwardness. Poor Fred seems to be trying so hard to be a gentleman and to do the right thing and then that happens. Here he is, probably thinking that helping her out is going to put him on a good foot if/when he chooses to ask her out again and instead he accidentally kisses her. And not just accidentally kisses her, but he does it in front of people. While she is sick and feels like garbage. Oof. Not really how you want that moment to go, is it?

I love this line from Hugo when Fred says that he was waiting for the right time: “You could have asked her after the date. That would have been the right time.” That made me laugh because it was so true. Poor girl was probably hoping for it but he chickened out. It is very cute though. It is a great cousin interaction. Fred’s run-on thought that his cousin asking Julie out would lead not to a date but to marriage and children that he would be stuck babysitting shows that maybe, just maybe he is prone to overreacting a touch. ;)

People sure do like to compare things to the size of Quaffles! I think the redness adds an extra special touch to the nose comment, though. It’s also so much more ridiculous than the idea of a head the size of a Quaffle, even on a new baby, that the mental image is hilarious.

Every time I see an interaction between George and Fred II it tugs on my heartstrings a bit. Especially today, since this should be the twins’ birthday. It still seems strange to me after all these years to see George a) talking to a different Fred and b) as a father. He seems like a very considerate dad though (which is fitting, since he had a great one himself).

- R

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Review #8, by Flower n Prongs'Till Death Do Us Part: Chapter 3

1st April 2017:
I know you said that this was a bit of a fluff chapter, but that’s good with me. I like fluffy chapters, especially in long stories. They help make me want to keep reading. The fact that this one is related to babies is extra good in my book.

First and foremost, I think it is adorable how caring James is. He is treating Amelia just like I imagine his namesake would have treated his wife during her pregnancy, being super attentive and worrying if something is wrong or how he can help. The fact that he tried to help by bringing her water and supporting her and then Molly comes bustling in made it even better. Of course a woman who was pregnant at least six times would know all the tricks to minimizing morning sickness. Carbs full of ginger? Sounds just like the type of remedy the Molly Weasley we see trying to fatten Harry up would suggest to a nauseous woman carrying her great-grandkids. (This made me realize that she had twins too, so she’s probably feeling a bit of that mother of multiples bond I’ve seen my friend with twins have with other twin moms.)

There are a few weird capitalizations earlier. Charlie’s “Sorry mum” should have mum capitalized since he is speaking directly to his mother whereas a general Grandfather and Uncle earlier are capitalized and shouldn’t be. (Unless of course his grandkids call Arthur Grandfather, but he seems like the type who would go for a simpler term to me.)

Risk assessments for pregnant mothers seem like an excellent idea. It’s not like pregnant women are invalids or should be banned from doing tons of stuff, but I can definitely see how that might apply to more things in the wizarding world where you have weird potions and spells that cause random – and sometimes disastrous – results like rapidly growing teeth or adding a tail. Definitely not something you want to accidentally hit a growing fetus!

The cat!! The way Albus was reacting to it makes me think maybe he knew that cats were seen as guardians of the underworld way back when. That would certainly be fitting for a cat described as possessed by Voldemort. I’m not sure if this is something that came up in the earlier story, but it has the potential to be comedy gold.

- R

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Review #9, by Flower n ProngsRisk It All: You'll Regret This

1st April 2017:
The Author's Note is an underestimation. The number of stories is impressive for its sheer volume, but the number of longer stories is even more impressive. There are so many.

The summary for this chapter. The summary of the whole story didn't sound as funny, but the chapter summary made me intrigued. It is nice to see that even in the magical world that the tabloids can be over the top with their rumours. Yes, in this case they were right but it seems like they have been saying it for years so they would be right eventually if Esme & James did divorce.

All of her questions are very good. Really, doing that to your wife (soon-to-be ex-wife or not) is a jerk move. At least wait the couple days and tell her to her face if that's what you want to do. I suppose divorce over owl is the magical, marriage version of breakup over text.

Obviously I'm not sure if this will lead to an actual divorce or reconciliation being only one chapter in, but I do think that it's interesting that you have chosen to write this from a non-Potter/non-Weasley point of view. People are obviously pre-disposed to liking the characters that we already know and their children, so by making Harry and Ginny's son the "bad guy" in the relationship, at least so far, puts an interesting twist on this all. The fact that she is clearly pretty bad *** with her band and all also makes me think that she will not let him push her around or pull the "My father was the Chosen One" sort of attitude we see on occasion in fics.

I'm interested to see how the humour plays more into this in the future. It does not seem like a very funny topic, at least not right now, but it seems like you have a good grasp on humour from your (many!) other stories so I'm sure it will not disapoint.

- R

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Review #10, by Flower n ProngsLike Clockwork: Antiquity

1st April 2017:
Do you perhaps have a flag for me to capture? Let's see. =)

First of all, I have to say that it was this character list that drew me in. Ariana, Grindelwald, the Marauders, and Voldemort all in one story? That is certainly something you don't get the chance to read every day.

At first I was thinking that you might do something about making Cecily some sort of immortal being (why, I don't know when that is clearly not canon). Time travel makes about a million times more sense! I appreciate that the method of time travel in here was not a time turner, since it would take an ungodly number of spins to get back to this era, or some sort of mishap.

You have left us with enough information to intrigue for one chapter: the era can be deduced, that this is not the first time she has gone back, and that she was smart enough to create something to accomplish this. We do have some questions to keep us reading to: who was she in the future? What events is she supposed to ensure happen vs supposed to stop? (Related: does she need to make sure Harry is born to stop Voldemort vs somehow stopping him before?)

So far, Cecily seems like a great OC. She fits into the time period (religious fears, preconceived notions) and is clearly unique (somebody who could invent something of that nature has to be smart) but is relateable enough to not seem too out there. Most importantly, I'm glad that she is also a bit concerned and confused about the whole time travel thing because it will take me some time to wrap my head around everything that Everard said too! (That is a great addition, by the way. We know next to nothing about past headmasters and headmistresses, picking one from canon that we know so little about is a nice touch.)

- R

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Review #11, by Flower n ProngsAreopagitica: Glavlit

12th March 2017:
Me again!

First and foremost, I want to touch on your chapter titles. The way you are using words and phrases from real-world dictators and totalitarian regimes is brilliant. The parallels between what Voldemort and the Death Eaters were doing to the Nazis, Stalin, and the like is so clear that using parts of history in your story is very smart and unique.

I forgot to mention the poor food in the last one, but the way you built on it here was really cool. It makes perfect sense that people like the Carrows would be reluctant or flat-out unwilling to get food from Muggle farmers. The avoidance of groups and not economically supporting groups you hate are such staples in regimes like this that I feel silly for having never thought of it before. At the same time, I totally buy the fact that wizards were not the biggest on farming. We know that rules of magic don't apply to food in the way that they apply to other things, so for somebody who relies on magic it would not be a natural career choice.

Poor Dobby, being used as a pawn. =( It would be a good way to get Ginny and Harry's other friends out, though, since they know how much Dobby means to him. Unfortunately, I predict that this will all contribute to him and Luna being in the basement dungeon of Malfoy Manor though.

Good luck with the Nargles!

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Review #12, by Flower n ProngsAreopagitica: Affiche Rouge

12th March 2017:
Here for chapter 2. =)

Ugh, that newspaper article. It seemed like something that would actually be written, from the claims that Kingsley was a serial killer to the totally-true-and-not-at-all-exaggerated-or-made-up claims by his supervisor. The advice for purebloods to stick together and to not travel alone because they were targeted seems so true it is uncomfortable. The same can be said for turning things that were done by Voldemort (I forgot the "Head Death Eater" stuff!) into crimes committed by the Order. This is so accurate to what a certain President is doing, always accusing people of doing things that he himself is up to, that I actually checked when this was published.

Turning to Luna, she seems so true to book Luna. Her father somehow having a decent source despite it all is canon, but also makes me really want to know just how Xenophilius Lovegood became the reliable news source for the war. Luna herself was also good. The fact that she was prepared for things (like with the ditany) and seemed to know how the right way to go about things (taking to McGonagall, distributing papers) definitely seems like her. She is out there and definitely unconventional, but despite all that she knows what is going on.

I also wanted to make a quick comment on McGonagall. The fact that she is a part of this information distributing and counter attack is great. I do not doubt for one second that she was actually a big part of that from within Hogwarts. As Umbridge taught us (perhaps the only things she taught us) was that McGonagall was willing to go to bat for her students.

On a bad note, the Carrows. Not that you didn't do them justice, but reading about them made me so angry. I know you have to cover them because they were such a big part of the school culture that year and their torture and attempts at brainwashing played a big role, but it was hard to read. Poor Ginny, Neville, and all the others. =( I feel bad saying good job after reading all that but it was well written!

Author's Response: Hello!

Thank you for the lovely reviews you've left! I'll get around to replying to them all eventually. And writing this again... I have been writing. It's just going at a truly glacial pace.

I think the current climate is actually a reason it's going so slow. This was started in mid 2015, before the world ended, so to speak. Things are jumping out of the story I created into the real world and it kind of makes it hard to write when real life is much more pressing...

I'm so happy that people like Luna in this story! I find her very difficult to characterize, but I really do try. I'm glad the effort shines through.

Thank you again for the review!

Stefanie


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Review #13, by Flower n ProngsAreopagitica: Prologue

12th March 2017:
Hello!

When I saw that the reason you were nominated for the Nargles was because of your portrayal of Luna I just had to check this out. I have loved her ever since she first appeared in OotP, but she is such a tricky character to write and to get her correct. Since you have apparently mastered her, I'm eager to see how this story progresses.

This is a very good first chapter for a longer story. You have given us some intrigue with Luna's packages. Why every Monday? Why ten items? What did she do to them - did she enchant them? Do they all somehow tie in together... gloves, ink, quills, etc? I want to continue reading to get the answers to my questions, so in that sense this has been very successful.

Xenophilius's making his packages colourful, sparkly, and a bit over the top even knowing that they will be destroyed before getting to Luna seems so right. For a man who went to a wedding dressed in all yellow with a seemingly myth-based symbol on his neck, I would expect no less.

The fact that you say this takes place in the year at Hogwarts Harry missed is cool. There is so much potential for what happened there and we barely even got hints of what happened.

Onto chapter 2. =)

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Review #14, by Flower n ProngsTell Me Who You Are: Phase Five: Tell Me Who You Are

5th March 2017:
Well, this was a rollercoaster of a story. You're all happy for them, you think they're going to break up, "she used magic on him!?", they DO break up... you really got all the emotions out and got a TON crammed into a 10,000 word story. Truly impressive.



I love Mark's mother, but only because she isn't my mother or mother-in-law. "RICHARD! Richard, he's getting married! WE'RE GOING TO HAVE SO MANY GRANDCHILDREN! RICHARD!" I mean, that's just comedy gold right there. And pretty much what you hear after being with your spouse for a long time and/or marrying. But it's must better to read it happening to fictional characters than hearing about how there are no grandkids yet in your family.



I had so much hope that they were going to get there in time and that Dominique would still be able to remember everything when her siblings brought Mark to her. I was really hoping for the happy ending here, where he could finally give her that ring and things would work out. To have him recalling important parts of their relationship(s) while she didn't recognize him just put everything on his head. I'm glad that you added in the end bit, because it made me much happier. Leaving it with the possibility of something developing once more and them piecing everything together... well, together is adorable.



I can't believe I just powered through this all in one sitting. Great job and good luck with the Nargles. :)

Author's Response: In my head, Mark's mother has the voice of Mrs. Potato Head from Toy Story 2 and 3. And if it makes you feel any better, my mother-in-law calls at least once a week to ask if I'm pregnant. (Yay family!)

I salute your powering through and I'm glad you liked my hopeful ending. I don't really believe in happy ones. Sometimes they happen and sometimes they don't, so my stories don't really follow an ending pattern. Some end happy, some end abruptly. This one has hope. :)

Thanks for reading.

-Liz


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Review #15, by Flower n ProngsTell Me Who You Are: Phase Four: Remember Strawberry

5th March 2017:
The confusion was heartbreaking at times when he just knew something was wrong but couldn't figure out what. The way he was asking his mother what she knew, trying to get information out of his best friend, and even looking at every strawberry blonde woman who could possibly be mistaken for Dominique Weasley was so heartwrenching. But in contrast, the dream about a strawberry wearing his clothing was hilarious. The firm association his brain has made between Dom and strawberries that cannot be broken, even with her skills, is clearly very strong.



I felt for poor Mark so much in this. Dominique is clearly struggling as well, but she at least has a full recollection of what happened. He has none of this.



I wonder what exactly her siblings have agreed to do. I imagine that it has to be getting them back together somehow, but I have no idea. They all sound like very capable witches and wizards, but when magic is part of your problem it can be hard to magic it all away.



The ending! He does have some solid memories of her tied to the ring. Now they just HAVE to meet again and see what he remembers this time. Anything else would be too heartbreaking. (Why yes, I am now very invested in this.)



Off to the last chapter!

Author's Response: I figured that every time Dom had to wipe is memories, he didn't actually want to forget her and his brain held on to the one thing he knew- Strawberries. The human mind is a mysterious and wonderful thing. Even people who suffer from amnesia can sometimes make a full recovery. Just because the amnesia is caused by magic doesn't make a difference.

(You don't actually want to know what Vic and Louie agreed to. But by now you DO know, so... Eh.)

(I'm glad you're invested!)

-Liz


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Review #16, by Flower n ProngsTell Me Who You Are: Phase Three: Burn It Down

5th March 2017:
I was NOT expecting the plot twist at the start of this. That made my eyebrows shoot up and stare at what I just read for a moment, seeing if it really said what I thought it said. After the cliffhanger ending to the last chapter, I thought about it a bit and figured that she would probably admit to using some sort of magic. I was thinking something more along the lines of a Pepper Up potion rather than obliviating his mind not once but THREE times. I don't blame him for not being able to take it in, I can hardly take it in and I know it's all fictional!

Somehow the stories about how they had "met" all those times were sweet, even knowing that they would all end in her meddling with his brain to make him forget her and everything they had gone through together. When Dominique voiced her belief that it was like fate was stepping in to push them together I kind of had to agree with her, and I don't even believe in that stuff. It just seems like they are surely supposed to be together and that something bigger will make them cross each others' paths until they finally get it right.

The ending made my heart catch. He had something he wanted to tell her before she obliviated him. What was so important!? Why did she have to be so fast at the spell casting!? Will she (*cough* me *cough*) ever figure out what it was!?

You have definitely nailed down the art of getting people to read the next chapter.

Author's Response: I WASN'T EITHER! This story was supposed to be a one-shot. And then Mark had to go and ask that STUPID QUESTION and I end up with a short story. (And an impending sequel.) But he asked the question and with the question came a WHOLE NEW PLOT and it has made many people very shouty since it's inception. I'm rather proud of that, actually.

-Liz


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Review #17, by Flower n ProngsTell Me Who You Are: Phase Two: Tell Him You're a Witch

5th March 2017:
After the dramatic ending of the last chapter, I was a bit worried for poor Dominique that her family may have mucked it all up. I'm glad that he went back to finish the dinner with them and to try to get to know them all. That is certainly the adult, mature reaction. And if he was planning on asking them for their blessing to marry Dominique, she should be very grateful for that.

The interaction between them back at her flat was so sweet. LOL to "robes for all occasions" being bathrobes and the like. All in all I will say he handled it pretty well. The veela thing does seem kind of weird when you look at it objectively, so I'm glad he didn't freak out and instead made a joke about her not growing wings when angry. The way you wrote it made it easy to see that he has the potential to be a considerate, reasonable husband in the future.

"Well... Have you ever, you know... Used magic... On me?" - now that's a cliffhanger for the next chapter! A great way to pull readers along with the story.

The translations at the bottom made me glad that I haven't lost all of my very basic French from school.

Author's Response: I had a very clear image of Mark in my head when I started this. He was open-minded, even-tempered, and above all, calm. Something to balance Dom's scatter brained, panicky franticness. Someone who is seriously considering marriage to the point of asking the opposing party's parents permission to ask is someone I think who doesn't run at the first sign of trouble.

XD Bathrobes! It was all I could come up with at the time and it made me giggle. It was so much fun to try and visualize a muggle (like myself) trying to take in all this information and how it would sound and how it would come across. I'm glad you enjoyed it!

I secretly love cliffhangers. Writing them. Not so much reading them. (Unless the next chapter is already posted, of course.)

-Liz


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Review #18, by Flower n ProngsTell Me Who You Are: Phase One: Bring Boyfriend to Dinner

5th March 2017:
Hello! I'm here because of the Nargles.

Let's jump right in - with the number of characters from both canon and fan fiction who have one Muggle parent and one magical parent, you would think you would read about the development of such a relationship among characters in the story. And yet, somehow, it never comes up. It wasn't until I heard about your story that I even realized that there was this big of a gap, but now it seems so obvious that I can't believe I didn't see it before. So for both sparking the realization and for tackling a very under-used but semi-common occurrence I would like to offer you kudos.

I'm not the most into Next Gen fics, but I've read enough to see that there are a lot of tropes and semi-cliches among them. From what I've seen Dominique just doesn't get as much attention or the consensus of others, so it is nice to see you tackling her. From the beginning when she is nervously getting ready, I was able to sympathize with her feelings. Her brushing everything away (even pantsuits, which are sad after the last election) and trying to balance not telling her family something about her new boyfriend and vice versa made her very relateable.

I love that she wanted lots of wine and was not afraid to say so in front of people. If only her siblings could have gotten the hint and been a bit more subtle for her.

This chapter did not end as I expected. I'm looking forward to reading on and seeing how everybody reacts once things are out in the open.

Author's Response: It's only been a month and a week since you left this review and I'm finally responding, so I'm calling that a WIN since my last response to a review was like a 3 month gap.

I will preface this reply by telling you that 1) telling the muggle boyfriend was my challenge prompt and 2) before being assigned Dominique as a random character to use, I had never read or written Next Gen and was very much against the idea (and had no friggin' clue who she was). The basic idea at hand, though, is an old one: Girl likes Boy, Girl has secrets kept from Boy, Girl tries to break the ice without losing Boy. So while I appreciate the kudos, if it weren't for LostMuse and the whim to join a challenge, this story wouldn't exist. (And I probably still wouldn't write or read Next Gen.)

Well, of course she wants wine! (LOTS OF WINE.) Sometimes it really does take some alcohol to calm your nerves. I believe that a stressed out Dominique is a very big believer in that! (And really, you can't blame Vic and Louie. Dom should have warned SOMEBODY before dinner started. But she comes up with a good plan and executes rather than working out the kinks first, which is what I love about her, actually.)

I see the rest of your reviews up there! I hope you liked it!

-Liz


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Review #19, by Flower n ProngsIgnotia: Ignotia

5th March 2017:
Hello. I saw that this was one of the stories nominated for the Most Original Nargle, so I decided to stop by.

I will start by saying that the length of this initially scared me a bit. Eight thousand words is a lot, but once I began reading it the story did not drag. The way it was broken up into different entries helped. And even though the entries jumped around between dates and there were a lot of original or rarely written characters, it was easy to follow. The hinting at things that were to come kept me reading as well.

The knowledge of what would eventually become of Gellert Grindelwald gave me mixed feelings. It is clear that he was both brilliant but different as a child, which I imagine must have been the case for somebody who turned out like he did. The brilliance, the love of reading, the being easily bored, and the desire to always be right were so natural and so in character that I would not doubt that he was like you wrote as a child.

We know so little about Bathilda other than that she wrote the gold standard book for History of Magic and didn't appear to live with anybody during the fateful summer Gellert spent with her. Because of that, I would not be surprised to learn that she elected not to marry or have children because she was not interested in men. The same could go for Elladora. (And, by the way, I love that dear aunt Elladora with the house elf heads made an appearance. I knew I recognized the name but a quick Google made me happy that it was her of all people. Of all the people on the Black family tree, she was certainly one of the saner and less cruel ones.)

L'optimisme seems to be the golden standard of Albus/Gellert stories, so I am not surprised that you also mastered writing Bathilda Bagshot. The style just seems right for the late 1800s, while still being easy to read.

I wish I had more to say or something constructive to add, but I don't. You know these characters so well that I feel like anything I tried to add would be minor and/or a bit dumb.

Good luck in the Nargles! :)

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Review #20, by Flower n ProngsSurvival of the Fittest: Shadows Aren't Permanent

5th March 2017:
You covered a lot of ground here, but you were able to bounce between things nicely. Separating the sadder things, like what happened to poor 11-year-old (!!) Nora with nicer things like Riya talking about her family was a smart idea. Even the little things, like setting the traps for the poor little foxes (I know, I know - I sound like Lily!) and Riya's dad rescuing Nessie were nice touches.

I'm happy for Theo that he has a crush on Lily. Between what has happened with his sister and being separated from his parents, he has had a very rough go. Knowing why both of them do not have their parents around also helps me to understand the bond that they share. Of course they will rely more on each other despite their differences, they are all they have left at this time. I hope that they will both be reunited with their loved ones and maybe even develop relationships (maybe with Lily and Albus respectively), but it is nice to know that they have each other for now.

One thing I haven't commented on yet but is becoming more clear to me with each chapter is how you are inverting the gender norms with them. Riya seems to be the one who is more tough, getting meat for them and watching their backs suspiciously while Theo is trying to bond with people, quieter, and the like. It is a nice change of pace and helps to keep them feeling unique from other OCs.

Good luck with the Nargles! :)

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Review #21, by Flower n ProngsSurvival of the Fittest: Tell me that isn't Harry Potter

5th March 2017:
I enjoyed seeing some of the backstory in here. Knowing how Riya and Theodore have been burned in the past and how Nora was taken helps to understand their characters. Of course after this they would be more suspicious of others, even people whom they may have otherwise trusted. I do think it is interesting that Theo is more trusting than Riya even though his sister is taken. I suppose it is fitting though, since he is a Hufflepuff.

The descriptions of Harry as aging were sad, but true. Of course he would be older, probably less physically fit than we are used to, and would have a different personality. He is a dad of three who prioritizes them, not a rage-filled hormonal teenager any longer. The protectiveness was just an extention of what we have seen from him before.

I like how you got into why the Fidelius Charm was done on a tent rather than a house. It was something I hadn't considered, but you covered that base anyway which is impressive. The reasoning behind it is very sad though. Is it a friend we know? Names from the Potter books? Either way, it helps to bring the danger home even more.

- R

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Review #22, by Flower n ProngsSurvival of the Fittest: We're being followed

5th March 2017:
Continuing on for chapter 2. :)



I love this line: "With little more than a possibly broken compass, a backpack full of scavenged supplies, and two scrappy 17 year olds, we’d make it for sure." The sarcasm just makes me like her as a character. The fact that there is potentially even a hint of fear that are in that line are very fitting for the kind of dystopian society the wizarding world is in at the moment.



I like how you pulled in some Harry Potter history and some real history into this chapter. Sadly, the future you've proposed here is not far flung from many things people have done to each other in the past. I don't doubt if goblins were around we'd do it to them too.



The instincts of humanity and being caring that they still have versus the instincts that they may need to survive in opposition is interesting here. We see one win out when they mention burying a teenager without looking through her supplies, but the other when it comes to stealing the machete. And, of course, the challenging of James Potter II and the demands being placed on him at the end fall into the latter, even if she does not really intend to harm him (though I suppose that brings us back around to the first point.)



One note: there are a few weird formatting issues (r32;r32;) in this chapter and the last one on HPFT.



And yay for seeing Harry soon! I'm sure he will have plenty to say about what is happening in the wizarding world. Poor guy, thinking he has gotten them some peace and this happening ~25 years later.

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Review #23, by Flower n ProngsSurvival of the Fittest: Is this the end of the world?

5th March 2017:
Hi Paula! I haven't read this one yet and it was nominated for a Nargle so I just had to head over to see what it was all about.



I have to admit, I have not read a ton of Next Generation. I found a lot of it repetitive and it took me a long time to accept all the stuff that happened at the end of DH, so I still tend to prefer writing other eras. BUT this is nothing like anything I have ever read before. A Goblin Rebellion going through Britain? A Goblin Registry Act to try to keep them "in line" and "put them in their place"? This all sounds like a supremely bad idea for a country that just had a war about blood purity, but I can totally see how it would happen. We humans are good at messing things up.



I like how the two characters we have met so far are unique and seem to have met by happenstance rather than out of lifelong friendship. I love inter-house relationships and friendships, so a Hufflepuff and a Slytherin making their way together is very interesting. The fact that she is a person of colour and that goblins will clearly be playing a big role in this is exciting too.



For a first chapter, this did a very good job at piquing my interest. I am curious to see what happens next, meeting some canon characters, and finding out how the story progresses. I will definitely continue on to the next chapter.



- Rhaenyra :)

(PS: I love the CI here! You're so talented!)

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Review #24, by Flower n ProngsBehind This Mask: Behind This Mask

5th March 2017:
Hello Lily! I'm here because of the Nargles rec.

Like you, I'm not a fan of Cormac. (Real question: is anybody?) Because of that, a 7000-word monster one-shot about him is a bit intimidating, but if this is nominated for best original fic it surely has to be good. Since it is so long I'm going to go back and forth between reading and writing parts of the review because otherwise I'm sure I'll forget things by the end.

I love how you used "Godric" almost as a curse or exclamation throughout. It works so well, almost like "Merlin!" and makes more sense for somebody who was raised as a non-religious wizard than most of our exclamations. It is something small, but it adds a lot to the believability of your characters and world development.

I loved the second step. "Attempt to be attracted by other girls in room. Nope. Other girls in room not attractive" made me literally laugh out loud. Comedy is not something I associate with Cormac, so the humour was a nice surprise.

Is it possible that I felt bad for Cormac when Neville insulted him? Now that's an accomplishment. The fact that he is so afraid of who he is attracted to and is trying to repress his feelings to fit in and not be insulted makes me sad for him. This is unexpected.

One thing - there is the wrong "your" between that and the first makeout session. Tiny mistake and the only thing that has stood out to me up to this point.

The talk after Slughorn's Christmas party was very touching. Them finally talking to each other and admitting things about themselves was so sweet. Cormac admitting how he hates things about himself that he either can't change or can't seem to change and Neville's insecurities, wondering why him when there are so many other guys was touching. It seems very true to Neville's character. After years of feeling not good enough, funny looking, and like the awkward sidekick nobody thought would even have any magical talent him hearing that somebody was glad they picked him was adorable. (Really? CORMAC contributing to something adorable? This really is a one-of-a-kind fic!)

I would switch "March Break" to "Easter Break" and the part about "moral" being low should be "morale" in the 20 years later.

I'm so sad for them at the end. The distance forming during the year Voldemort was in power, the PTSD, the seeing each other as they put their kids on the train and reminiscing, all of it. How did this happen? You certainly made me not only take this random pairing seriously, but actually have not-angry feelings towards Cormac McLaggen. That is certainly something.

Best of luck with the Nargles!

- Rhaenyra :)

Author's Response: Hello there, I apologize for being a million years late. I'm so busy lately!

I know. I don't think that ANYONE likes Cormac. Of course it is, I didn't even know it was going to end up being that long. I was thinking "oh it's probably going to be the shortest one-shot I've ever written". Nope. Longest, I believe that I've ever written.

I like my Godric exclamation.

I thought that the steps would be un-organic, but then I realized that I have so many friends who step by step their lives all the time.

I felt so sorry for him at the end, I was like "what is happening?"

Thank you for pointing out that typo! I'll fix it when I find time for a full look through. A lot of my work isn't beta'ed and English is not my first language, so my grammar/spelling can get blergh sometimes, I know the rules sometimes they just slip past me haha.

Ahhh Cormac, he's so unexpected in this fic isn't he?

I don't get Easter Break where I live, I've always gotten March, so since it's not a huge deal I'll keep it that way. Thanks for the point on the other typo!

I MEANT to make the ending cute and fluffy, but then Kaitlin's (TreacleTart) Take It Seriously Challenge came to mind and I though 'why not?'

Thank you so much for the review, I really appreciate it! Have a lovely day.

-ImaRavenclaw


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Review #25, by Flower n Prongspectus draconis: dragonfire.

5th March 2017:
Hi ad astra. (Sorry, I don't know what you prefer to be called!) Dropping by on a Nargles rec.

Was this story really not much more than 2000 words? It seems impossible that you were able to fit so much emotion, so much angst and drama and change into such a short piece. And yet, you did in a way that seemed almost effortless. There was so much in here that it may have read densely, but I actually found it so easy and fast to get through. That part honestly surprised me.

I do have to admit, I don't think I have ever read a Drarry before, or at leat not recently. It always seemed to be an odd ship to me, but you made it work so well. The way they talked about it to each other at the end in the years after the war - light and dark, good and evil, and the unspoken Gryffindor vs. Slytherin and Boy-Who-Lived vs. Death Eater - somehow helped it all. They were opposites, yes, but there was a pull between them. They both always knew where the other was, what he was up to, and seemed to suspect and blame each other all the time. That sort of focus on each other could easily turn into kissing, since the passion was clearly there (even if it was typically focused on hate).

I appreciate the way you portrayed Lucius Malfoy in this. He did a lot of bad things, that is undeniable, but he did care for his son. Him looking down on and sneering at people who mentioned him having a daughter was so in character. Of course he would turn it on people, making them feel bad for forgetting his child so they would be worried of his reaction rather than thinking he was trying to turn things around.

Very well done. Good luck with the Nargles!

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