Okay, so I suck and am totally selfish for not reviewing at all until now. 27 chapters and one review...sigh. But heyhey, there's an excuse for that! (in a way =p) I just couldn't stop reading and I couldn't stop to write a review! Fine...maybe I'm trying to make up something to make myself feel better about it, but the truth is, I haven't been this engrossed in a fic for a long time. I haven't touched any fanfiction for ages now, but these few days I've been sick so I thought...fanfiction to cheer me up. And I was in the mood for a J/L novel-length fic and yours immediately came to mind. (I've been meaning to read it for AGES! Finally got round to it) I think the fact that I managed to read these 27 chapters in just two days shows just how great it is, I think I'm starting to get drawn back to fanfic! Anyway, prepare for a long, lengthy, rambling review! (I haven't done one in ages, so um, I'll try my best)First of all, though I think you're already well aware of this, your characterizations of everyone are amazing. They're all so real, so alive that you can actually believe in the story itself. James is...so James, you've shown him to have matured and that he has a playful yet at the same time he's responsible...your James is perfect. Sirius, I think yours is one of the best I've seen of him. Too often I've seen the womanizer, cocky aspect but mostly in fics he hardly seems believable, occasionally appearing even quite shallow. But you, you made him come to life...sullen, mysterious, a hint of arrogance, mischievous, flamboyant. His character speaks words when in your hands. And you've shown the reckless and the jealous side of him, I LOVED the part where he was jealous of James and Lily, as that's exactly how I would imagine him to be. But more on that later in the review. Lily, you've captured her perfectly, sensible and strict but can let loose at times. And her motherly nature over the boys...aw. Remus is great, he's that supportive go-between friend and when you had him forgive Sirius about the Shrieking Shack event, I think you really had that nature of his, of being forgiving. Peter...YAY finally someone who doesn't completely leave him out! His character is probably one of the hardest to write (IMHO, anyway) but you've done extremely well, showing that he was a good friend, not completely useless but not really alike the other three. Dumbledore was...Dumbledore =) and I loved the little bits of the Order that you mentioned at Frank and Alice's wedding, loved Lily's parents, James's,...and I could go on FOREVEr about everyone else, but to sum it up, characters are your forte. Phew, and no the review is far from over =p The interactions between the characters are great. The James and Lily relationship was not too rushed nor too slow, it was just right. You've given Sirius and Lily a fair few moments of their own (bet Linda liked that =) and that really brought even more dynamics to their characters. The bond between the Marauders is excellent, the tie between Sirius and James...and their equal stubbornness, and everything. The dialogue you've woven in throughout is awesome (I'm running out of words to describe this!) it feels so real, not forced...and what I love about this fic is the subtle bits of humour scattered throughout. I have to say in every chapter I had so many lines that I loved and LOLed at, but of course, I'm not gonna list them all here or we'd be here until next millenium. The plot. 80, 000+ words and I never once lost interest...that's saying something. The story was really a rollercoaster ride that had everything, from one minute it's relaxed and light, then it gets angsty and that whole prank thing...that's one of the best versions I've ever read of it. Splendiferous! Then comes the romance, and all the while, there's that foreboding feeling of the DEs and Voldemort. And then Drama!fight between James/Sirius/Lily..and then more romance. Every chapter evoked emotions from the reader, and the fact that the fic carried so many different sides/feelings, it was so well-balanced and it was just like, you couldn't stop reading it! On to some less important points...is the occasional grammar/punctuation faults. I know you're going through revision and all for the earlier chapters, so I will say no more, as they don't really take away from the story anyway. Your canon-ity (yup I made it up =p) is really good, except in the earlier chapters you still haven't changed Dorea to Calista...and a few other things, but that's in the 'revision' bit so I'll shut up too. And maybe watch out for tenses? Just the occasional lapses in that. Oh, and numbers, short numbers (below 10 etc) in words! Did I mention yet how I loved the little things/references to canon that you planted throughout? Fang's name, the Order members, etc. etc....it's these little details that show what a great author you are and how much you pay attention to stuff like that. All in all, I have to say this one really stands out in the J/L category. There isn't too much you can work with in this pairing (and thus the majority of these fics are all too similar and...unimaginative/boring) but yours was so creative, real, and just splendid. At the moment, that's all I have to say (though it's a whole mouthful, ha) and as I can't think of anything else I may have forgotten (I read this yesterday but didn't leave a review then) I'll end this review here. I'll be keeping an eye on this now, so make sure you update! I'll be hopping by to 'in the dark' some time too, I've read it but haven't reviewed (yet again, sorry! I'm an awful person!) Excellent work here, can't believe I never read this before and I am oh so glad I finally did read it. Sorry for the lame, long review!Author's Response: Oh man, I have tried to reply to this review a couple of times and I can nevere get into words my gratitude or express just how big and silly the grin is on my face. I love long, rambling reviews and I love that you've left me one and that you enjoyed the story so much. I love my boys, I think they are my favourite part of the books: their friendship and the ups and downs seem so interesting and complex and important and when I started writing this, oh man, I was 17 - so 3 years ago and I was all about the drama of friendships and highschool. I must admit that I am a little ashamed of little I write Peter, I've been growing more interested in his character lately and the part he played in the group dynamics and the term 'little brother' keeps coming to mind, he's that little brother you see, who gets picked on alittle by his older, more popular, clever and handsome brothers, but they love him just the same and want him to be happy and I don't think I've done that justice yet, I will and I want to. He may get a romantic interest shortly...The plot is something that I don't actually have any specifics goal for, except for a 'rocks fall, everybody dies ending', I am more interested in how each character gets there, I guess. Oh and yes, I do like to tease Linda with my Sirius/Lily moments, they actually seem to write themselves when I put them together, so I don't know...maybe she's onto something there. I am so lazy about correcting the problems with NFA, it seems that I'm always catching things I;ve missed and I intend to do a sweep of one thing (like changing all the Callistas to Doreas) and then I get bogged on the first chapter with incorrect tags, bad formatting, grammar, canon issues: you name it. I do like sprinkling in those references, I even worked in a subtle one of Barty Crouch Jr that no one seems to have picked up on yet, but keep a watch out for those Order members, they'll become more important in future chapters...Thank you for reviewing! I love a good ramble and I am so glad you've enjoyed it, reviews don't worry me so much, it's knowing that people enjoy what I do. Report Review
Aww, I love R/S, and this was so cute! It was short and sweet, and since I'm used to reading angsty fics about these two, it's a nice change to read something light and fluffy instead. And also the fact that this is a brief moment in time thing, a little glimpse of them, is what I like about it. The characterizations were great. I especially love Sirius's sarcasm and the boys' playfulness and close relationship. The kiss was wonderfully done and fit in really well with Sirius's character. And I love the setting too, snow....ahh...romantic ^_^ All in all, lovely job, Mandy! Report Review
And here I finally am with a review! Reading this a second time round was even more wonderful, and I still gained the same warm and fuzzy feeling from reading it. This piece is just awwww and I love stories with Poppy (especially when they're well-written and by really good authors) because they're always something different from the norm and just a pure delight to read. And your choice of ship was great!! The humour was done to perfection, not overdone nor underdone, it was just right. I just love this fic so much; it's one of those ones which you can read over and over again and love it just as much, and it really cheers you up on a bad day. You did such a great job on this; it was well balanced and had lovely descriptions and oh my, just so sweet! The characterizations were perfect. I can't name favourite lines or parts because I love every bit so much (though I must say the thumbscrews and ugly cat were hilarious!), the first part caught my attention, when Poppy was reminiscing about the past, about Remus and Snape and everything...they're little details but I feel bring so much and tell so much. The ending could not have been any more perfect. I can't even imagine it to go better any other way than that. All in all, (after this long, rambling, probably-doesn't-make-sense-to-you review), I just want to say this was truly a great read (and considering I don't read much here anymore nowadays, I'm soo glad I read this). It now resides in my faves list, for whenever I need a laugh, have a bad day, or feel like reading a nice, sweet romance. Excellent work, Flissy!Author's Response: hehehe *grins and blushes* wow, thanks! i tend to ramble myself so, i completely got what you mean ^^. i only feel a little embarrassed that we apparently know each other closer because you know my nickname, but i'm sorry i really can't think of who you are right now... *feels stupid* anyways, your review has made me very happy and i am glad you found my story so enjoyable!!! thank you for the review!! Report Review
Eek. And I forgot to put line breaks in the review. Told you I have a short attention span. And...I totally forgot to mention, the banner is gorgeous. Jen (cache dea) is amazing, I agree. *nods* I hope you update soon, as you did this pretty fast (well, for the queen-of-non-updates apparently). And any idea how long this will be? If I remember correctly, did you say 5 chapters? Oh and I'm so so sorry for this 'extra' review, I just wanted to clear a few things up. Of course, feel free to delete this!Author's Response: Don't worry about it, still perfectly legible. I have a good 3000 or so words of the next chapter written...though I'm think that as I can see this blowing up to be gigantic I might push it over into next chapter (for two reasons, I don't want a 10000 word chapter and I don't have a lick of chapter 4 written) and a few bits and bobs that need to be joined together. Hell, I'm just happy I have a basic plan...I even started a possible sequel. But yes, this story will be 5 chapters, that's as far as I have it planned, but I was thinking of retelling it from Ginny's PoV for a one shot...and then going back to do a sequel when they're into the Horcrux hunt...yeah, I have too many ideas for patches of their 7th year, not enough plot to carry me through a great big novel length though. Report Review
Usually I find myself unable to read long chapters, because my oh-so-wonderful attention span is so short and I get distracted easily, I managed to cruise through this, which is enough to say how well-written this is. There're a few typos/errors sprinkled throughout, but no biggies, jjust perhaps have a look-over whenever you're free. Now, prepare for some rather long and tedious rambling.
I love how you have solid characterizations for Hermione's parents; her mum being alike Molly and her father being, well, him, lol. And oh, this line really made me smile, it's just so...Ron! "“What?” Ron asked, mildly disgruntled that she was laughing at him before his expression softened. “Oh. Sorry,” he said sheepishly and he then leaned over and muttered: “You make me nervous.” And it's so sweet in a way too!
Oh, and I adored the argument between Hermione and Ron about getting intoxicated and all. You write the chemistry between them really well, might I add. I loved the setting and imagery surrounding the wedding, wonderful job there. And to quote my last two favourite lines: “She’s getting undressed too,” Hermione told him and that seemed to put him off the idea of going in there. and “For not being stupid.” It's just amazing how you can get their characterizations/personalities down pat, with only a few simple words.
Ooh, I totally forgot, I absolutely loved the 'quick shag' line, made me laugh. And not forgetting that it's nice to see Harry and Ginny here too, and their little fights. Again, strong characterization here.
Now...I have talked too much for my own good, and yours. Sorry you had to submit to that. I'll shut up now =)
Author's Response: I'll do another once over, though I might get tangled looking over early chapters of NFA...man, what a nightmare. I'm glad you enjoyed my characterisations, I'm rather fond of Ron even if he is the hardest of all characters to write...though Harry comes in a close second (stupid men and their...manness), he and Ginny will have many more bitter fights in this story. Thanks for reviewing hon! So glad you're enjoying it. Report Review
I love this chapter, Ghiz...I've never been to France before and reading this made me feel like I was there. The fact that this chapter has no dialogue in it proves how talented you are; your way with descriptions and all really shows. It was so interesting to read, you built the suspense really well. And now comes the nitpicking, I feel so awful for doing this. I mean, this is such a great story and here I am, picking out the itsy bits. The only problem is commas again...While Muggle Paris was blossoming the separation between the wizarding world and the Muggle world was becoming more and more apparent as each day passed. (should be a comma after blossoming)And I didn't really get this sentence: His meal on this his first evening in Paris would not be as delicious, he feared (the this and his bit...typo?) And this sentence: At one time this room had been used as servants’ quarters, but long ago the Comte had had the one servants’ door (I think you meant one servant's)Overall, great work...and ooh, I can't wait til you update...evil cliffie but wonderfully done. =)Author's Response: The "this his first night" isn't so much a typo as it's missing a comma. His meal on this, his first night in Paris, would not be etc. And the quarters were for more than one servant, as they would have all bunked in the same room. But yes! I'll fix her up :) Report Review
Ghiz, you really have swallowed a thesaurus, haven't you? Lol, it reads just like it...but it makes this story even better than it is; the vocabulary used seems to fit the era incredibly well. The only criticism I have here is commas...you seem to have just missed a few of them in some places. Just a few examples: “Well we could hardly meet in your office, Emeritus,” (I think there should be a comma after well...) "After that night in the meeting hall and seeing the looks on the faces of the Council members Arthur was certain that something was about to take place, all he knew was that he did not feel he wanted to be a part of it." (one after the Council members? Also, this sentence seems a bit run-on, perhaps instead of the comma after place, use a semicolon instead?) "...when the time came to relinquish them for a spot of magic then so be it. " (after magic?) I'm sure there were a few others around but when I went back to look for them, I couldn't find them. Oh well, they're little errors that are hardly noticeable anyway, they only ever disrupt the flow sometimes when the sentence becomes run-on. I'll try and look out for them next time. Hope you don't mind me nitpicking for such little things; its just that I have nothing else to criticize about...the commas seem to be the only thing. Ooh, I love the inclusion of a Weasley, that you're dropping familiar surnames in here...and it's so interesting to read about Dumbledore in his early days--certainly something you don't come across often. Excellent chapter as usual=)Author's Response: Oh you are so very helpful! Like I said in the last response I'll get to tweaking soon :) Thank you again for everything. Report Review
Ah, Ruthven...a Dumbledore. Anyway, I know you wanted CC for this story, but I don't know if i'm enjoying it too much or what...I can find hardly anything to criticize. The only thing is punctuation (some commas missing...) and a couple of run-on sentences, I think. I'm loving this story more and more! “I haven’t seen much in the way of blood, but I have seen my brother pull the legs off of insects." Lol, that line just made me laugh because Aberforth does indeed always seem to appear like a weird ol' character, what with goats and all. Anyhow, I love the idea that Arthur had to end up with an assistant even though he didn't want one, and I'm also very interested in reading more, not only about Arthur but also Albus. All in all, I think you've built up everything in this story extremely well, the pace is perfect, characters excellent and your flair for description and detail is just...wow. Sorry that I can't offer too much CC for you. I'll be back to review the next chapters soon!Author's Response: Thank you so very much! I will go back through the chapter and fix things up once my coursework dies down a bit :) Report Review
Nice ending! Thanks for such a fun ride! (and there is absolutely nothing wrong with being crazy in the fanfiction world!! =))Author's Response: Thank you! Yes, there's nothing wrong with being crazy here in our world *snicker* Pru Report Review
Sorry for not reviewing until now...but great story so far! Hilarious....and well-written! Oh, naughty jealous George...mean George....but he must really like Ollie to do that to Alicia...ooh, getting so very interesting! Author's Response: im glad ur enjoying my fic! ^_^ thanks for ur review! :) Report Review
I love the way you write Snape!! Lol! Good chapter...although it's rather upsetting to see that Ron's always the one hurt! But nevertheless, on to the next chapter! (Oh, and I love how Malfoy was squibbed! ) Report Review
Great to see Ron again=) But I was thinking that Ron might not've taken everything so easily....like he has quite a temper....and if he was really left out of so much stuff, I'd think he would react quite differently...but again, this is important to the plot, eh? Anways...on to the next chapter... Report Review
Trelawney...LOL! Anyways, the love brawl and the scene of everyone chasing each other was just...funny! And ollivander getting all jealous over Cherry...lol! But the last part, with Severus's 'accidentally' tripping her over' was great!!! Brill chapter, once again!=) Author's Response: Thank you for the review. Sevvie being Mr. Smooth was a hoot...I swear I love to torture him. All the best, Pru Report Review
I love stories that made me think...and this one was very philosophical. You captured him perfectly, being suspicious of everyone around, but yet being succumbed to everyone's suspicions. Very nicely done...ooh, but the ending...Remus would never ever turn traitor^^...anyway good job on this one-shot=)Author's Response: Yeah, I know he would never turn traitor but I wasn't sure how I was going to finish it and decided to make at least a vague effort at giving it a slight twist :o) and I'm glad you liked it! Report Review
Very nicely done. =) Very canon-like characterizations, and I love the whole interview! It's 3 a.m. now, I can't think straight....but I really enjoyed this one-shot! can't pick out a fave part coz I love everything about it....so I'll jsut say well done! Report Review
Wow, this was great! Simple, yet very effective! It's 2.30 am now, I can't really think straight, so I just want to say well done, and this was excellent! The characterizations were great and...I don't know what else to say. Everything about it was great. Love the ending, love everthing...lol. Sorry, I'm rambling...neways great job!Author's Response: It is a bad tendency we all have to stay up late, right? lol ok I'm glad you left a review anyways! Report Review
Oh my. I don't know what to say....well, incredibly well-written, a great idea using 'Emotions' and your descriptive writing is just...wow. You've got Sirius' character perfect...and it was a really emotional fic........well, nothing else to comment on, but excellent job....and I love everything about it....that I can't even pick my favourite part, lol. Anyway, congrats on ur first fic, and an amazing one at that.Author's Response: Thanks. You're a sweetie. =D It was an emotional fic, wasn't it? I'm glad you think so, that's what i was aiming for. Thank you very much for your review! Oh, and it's not my first fic. Just my first posted fic. I throw out almost everything I write. Except this, obviously. =P Report Review
Very well-written...and very true to Remus' character. Love everything about this, and the last few paragraphs even seemed quite poetic....anyway, excellent job on this! Love this line: 'There’s me, the quiet groomsman who, knowing the cards I’ve been dealt in life, will probably never find a love this great. I rely on the compassion and support of my friends to keep me going in this life.' And I like how you mentionied Sirius was 'serious' in everything except his romantic life, lol. Anyways, all in all, splendid!
Author's Response: Thank you! I'm glad you think the last bit poetic (I'm horrible at poetry). I enjoyed the Sirius being serious part too. That kind of stuff amuses me. Anyway, thanks for reviewing and I'm happy you enjoyed it. Report Review
I love Ron's letter---\it was just so Ron-like and funny! Well, I know this is going to turn out into H/Hr...and I'm not quite a fan of that ship, but this is really well-written, so I'll have to keep reading...And....that Chang woman.....Cho Chang's mum? Oh well...neways hope you can update asap... Report Review
Brill chapter! Dunno what else 2 say...cz i gotta move on wif the nxt chapter... Report Review
Wow, well done! I really don't like Peter, but this chapter really made me think about him. Very well-written...and the idea of the Hufflepuff girl, the way you've written the Marauders...simply brilliant. Excellent job on such a well thought-out and amazing fic!Author's Response: I'm glad you liked it. Peter is hard to write without getting stereotypical. Thanks for your kind words. Report Review
just a teeny bit to point out, I think you meant 'taking' instead of 'talking' in the first paragraph...apart from that, this was a good chapter. Your longest by far, and I love how you created an Ancient Runes lesson...and I think you did a good job! Great idea for all the divination signs for Oliver and North...and great that you're adding in about Abby and Lee too, and I love how jovial everyone is! Hope you won't get writer's block again, because we're all waiting anxiously to read the next chapter! (and I know WB is so annoying!) Oh, and before I forget, love the bit about Professor Dumbledore's comment on the board--very nice touch! Although it may take quite long for validation, please keep writing and updating...and who knows, you might become trusted author soon! ANd one more thing before I go...nice job on the banner for 'The Angel'...very nice!Author's Response: Yay, this is my longest review ever! :D Note to self: check on that spelling error asap! Dumbledore's note was mainly because JKR has never mentioned an Ancient Runes teacher (I don't think), and I didn't want to risk clashing with a future book. I pray that my writer's block has left forever, and I'll try to update as soon as I can! :P Report Review
I've been meaning to check out ur work for some time, but didn't get round to it. I have yet to read ur trilogy...I'll head over soon. But now I see why you were recommended author....brilliant description and such a good use of words....and wow, this piece was great. The bond between Sirius and Remus.........and this amazing, beautiful piece made me see Remus in a different light. Author's Response: I'm speechless, thank you for taking the time to make my day! Report Review
Lol, that was great! Funny and very light...I enjoyed it a lot! There were a few teeny grammatical errors, but of course, nothing big. Well done on this...it really was great!Author's Response: thanks..i'll go back and proof read for the errors. thanks for alerting me and leaving a review! Report Review
Oh, poor Elle! Such nasty things...Parvati and Lavender, grr! Although in canon they don't seem so bad, but here...grr....I pity Harry though.............and well, I have three more chapters to catch up! Report Review
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