Reading Reviews From Member: Hermionesclass101
300 Reviews Found

Review #26, by Hermionesclass101Dreamland: My Wish

2nd January 2008:
This is a really original idea, and I like how you refrained from sayng her name at the beginning. It had me wondering who was talking. Your description is nice, and I like how you characterize Rose. I also like how you characteried Albus, and the way you described the emotions. Good job, 10/10


Author's Response: Thanks so much! I wouldn't really know how to say her name at the beginning in first person other than saying, "My name is Rose Weasley." And that is totally lame, so I refrain from doing that.

Thanks! Everyone seems to like Albus, which is nice. I was hoping that people might. :)

I really appreciate you reviewing! Thanks so much!

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Review #27, by Hermionesclass101Divine Interventions: Epilogue

2nd January 2008:
Wow, it's over. Okay, I would have been as angry as Ginny was at Hermione, but I can't really see Hermione acting that way to begin with. But then, you did say that the war changed everyone.

The ending was really a twist, and a couple questions are floating around my mind. First, did you know exactly how it was going to end when you started writing? And second, where did you get the idea for this story?

This story was so different from the actual series, but the lies and the deceit are what made the story so enjoyable to read. Your writing style is original, and it draws in the reader quickly. I love all of your description, and your use of flashbacks in this story was really effective.

By this point, Ron was shaking with angry. -- perhaps you meant anger?

9/10, simply because of the grammar mistakes. The story was simply magnificent, and very original.


Author's Response: yes, I used the war as an excuse. I am wondering when the war isn't going to be a good enough excuse if you know what I mean. everyone was ooc but again, if I wanted my story to work it had to be done. but I'm glad you stuck with me!

to bad honest, no I had no idea how it was going to end. In fact, I had no idea where to go after the prologue. I wrote it when it just popped in my head, saved it, and forgot about it. I was going through my word documents awhile ago and found it. I reread it and loved it. so i just went from there. And the idea? No f'ing clue to be honest. it just popped in my head! =]

thank you so much for all of the lovely reviews and compliments! and I shall change that asap!

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Review #28, by Hermionesclass101Divine Interventions: Solving the Problem

2nd January 2008:
I knew I reviewed at least ONE chapter! And it was chapter 4!

Okay, I have to say that I was extremely surprised by Ginny's behavior. I've always like Ginny, so I could never see her doing anything like that. I like how you ended the chapter, and I like how you describe the 'madhouse'. The plot is certainly intriguing, and I read this chapter so fast, I only found two grammar mistakes:

Ron was the investigators leading suspect. -- investigator(')s leading suspect

An amuse look spread across Draco’s face. -- An amuse(d) look

Good job, though I am certainly very confused. At least Blaise and Luna didn't work out.


Author's Response: yes, Ginny is majorly Ooc but I had to do it. Just like I had to do every other character out of character. and thank you again for the grammar mistakes. I would have missed them! =]

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Review #29, by Hermionesclass101Divine Interventions: Revenge is Sweet

2nd January 2008:
I can't exactly remember, but I think it was this chapter that inspired my fic, One Night's Mistake.

Okay, back on topic. I like this chapter, because it's one hell of a plot twist. I love the description, and I love the way Ron and Ginny act. Also, this chapter gives us a hint towards Drinny without actually coming out and saying it, which is good. And I didn't find any grammar mistakes! =)


Author's Response: thanks a bunch for the lovely review!

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Review #30, by Hermionesclass101Divine Interventions: Further Investigating

2nd January 2008:
Alright. Again, the description was lovely, and I loved the way you had the flashbacks. I also like Ron's personality in this chapter, and Pansy was spot on. I like Sophie as a character, and the note adds a lot of mystery. Perfect way to end the chapter, even if it was a bit cruel. ;)

Now let me just say: LUNA AND BLAISE?! I already know what happens, but that ship still shocks me every time I read this chapter. Now, grammar:

Sophie Lebauf was the Ministries leading detective. -- Sophie Lebauf was the Ministry's leading detective.

She was armed with her wand and there is no signs of a struggle -- there (are) no signs of a struggle

all in which were closely related to the deceased girl -- all (of) which

flung open to reveal her first suspect, Pansy Parkinson. -- a colon would work well here

fingers feel the context inside -- I think you meant content, rather than context.

Really good chapter.

Author's Response: haha yes, I know but it had to happen! and thank you, I was afraid I wouldnt portray the characters well enough.

and again, I will change these asap!

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Review #31, by Hermionesclass101Divine Interventions: Prologue

1st January 2008:
Hi, this is Hermione101 from the forum review thread!

That's ironic. I've already favourited this story! I thought I reviewed too, but apparently not. . . .

As a matter of fact, this chapter was my favourite. I love the description, and the way we are not sure who is who. I love the way you escribe the emotions, and the way you began it drew the reader in immediately. Excellent. Just a few punctuation mistakes.

He was there for one reason and one reason only, to get rid of the only thing keeping the connection. -- a colon would work better, rather than the comma.

It was 10:59, it had to be her. -- a semi-colon would work here.


Author's Response: hmm, maybe you did. If you did, I'm terribly sorry for having you do it again! XD

mmkkayy, I shall fix those right away! thanks for the help!

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Review #32, by Hermionesclass101The Captive: The Journey Back

1st January 2008:
I really like your description in this chapter. I also love Archie as a character. I already said most of what I needed to in the other reviews so I have only two thoughts:

shoulders non-chalantly, - nonchalantly is one word.

most un-ideal - the worst/least ideal

Author's Response: Yay! Another Archie fan! :D

I love the boy too! Of all the characters that I have created for stories thus far, Archie has to be my favorite. However, a new (non-HP) story that I am creating for the fun of it has a character named York that I am having a great time writing.

But at any rate, thanks for that check for me dear, and the lovely review!

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Review #33, by Hermionesclass101The Captive: Battle of Old

1st January 2008:
A strong way to end the chapter. The emotions were described well, and I loved the way you wrote the interaction between Marcus and Gauthum. Only one thought for this chapter that I didn't mention in the last review and that's the number of times you use the word 'muse'. It gets kind of distracting.


Author's Response: Haha! Went back through and did a tally count of how many times I used that word and it definitely exceeded ten and that's a big "no-no" that I point out to other authors. Sadly I couldn't even follow it myself.

But I do promise that it gets better in later chapters. On PottersWorld (which is where Archie was originally designed) I used 'muse' to describe a great deal of his inner thought, but now that he's being tailored into story form, there's no need for it constantly.

Posts are vastly different from the novel sense, which is what I'm beginning to figure out

But thank you very much for the review!

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Review #34, by Hermionesclass101The Captive: Leaving

1st January 2008:
Hi, this is Hermione101 from the forum review thread!

Okay, first, this is a very original idea and I can't wait to read more. The description is lovely, but it's all squished together, making it hard to discern. I would take another look at paragraph structure, as well as sentence structure. The way you gave us tidbits of information regarding his past made us wonder, and that's a good thing. I also like who you added a love interest to the mix.

I love how you made the box so full of mystery. I do have a few thoughts though.

First, When it comes to the flashback, I would just leave out the *start/end flashback* and just make a smooth transition.

Second, do you have a beta? Because if you don't, I would consider one. Not for the actual plot, but to fix up that sentence/paragraph structure.

I hope I wasn't too harsh. I really like the story.


Author's Response: That's been the run of the mill problem, and I have looked back on it and really detested the fact that everything is so packed into one paragraph. And I've changed it in my word doc. and it looks about a thousand times better. But thanks for thinking it's a pretty good idea!

Sentence structure is something I am working on furociously. But I have gotten better especially with going through it more than once to fix some things and make sure that I'm doing all right with it. But as the chapters go on, it has gotten better I promise!

I do not have a beta, and have been considering one a great deal! So, I will more than likely look more into that option.

You did not sound harsh at all. The point is to give me that feedback constructively and you did just that! thank you very much:)

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Review #35, by Hermionesclass101The Dream of One Night: Chapter Ten - Severus

31st December 2007:
You have a very powerful way of ending chapters, I must say. Also, the way you describe the infatuation between Severus and Avrille is just beautiful. You really have a great vocabulary. I do have some thoughts on this chapter, though.

1. For Severus in particular, I'm thinking that *love* is too strong a word so soon. After all, it's only been, like a month. Maybe you should stick to a word like infatuation. That way it's stronger than fancying, but they don't have to admit that they are in love. Just my opinion.

2. e.g. a pond drained of water would take a longer time to refill than a spilled bucket of water - I would really consider replacing 'e.g.' with 'like' because the abbreviation kind of takes away from the quality of the vocabulary.

TWell, this review was more balanced than the others. ^_^ I really enjoy reading your story. 10/10, like usual.


Author's Response: I've been thinking about this review (mostly point #1 of yours) for a little while, and I think I'll stand by what I wrote. One thing that I think I will add in an author's note at the very beginning, which I believe is very important for the reader to understand Severus' motivations throughout, is that I do *not* write him as once being in love with Lily. For me, I imagined it more as a brotherly/sisterly relationship, and though a lot of Severily fans might gnash their teeth at me, until I actually read DH, that pairing really did not interest me (and I wrote about 90% of this before that book was released.) Ok, so the whole point for me is that before he met Avrille, my Severus had never *really* been in love before. So, though for some people (like you perhaps! :D) a month might seem a very short time to fall incredibly in love with someone, I think for Severus, who has gone most of his life with almost no love at all except from his mother (but more on that later!) when he falls, he falls HARD! So, yes, when he first met Avrille he definitely had more of an infatuation with her, but then working with her, reading her work for him, and talking with her, really made him fall in love with her. For Severus the phrase, "Still waters run deep," is simply a perfect description of him.

Likewise, Avrille has never had a serious boyfriend before (having gone to two all-girls schools and also being slightly removed from wizarding society because of her magical problems), so she went into this situation pretty much with no experience in the matter. She greatly admired Severus from his books which she read in school, and then meeting him it was sort of like being around a celebrity for her. Whatever feelings *she* might have had in the very beginning she simply wrote off as a sort of fan-girl crush. But when she sees him smile in the library, which reminds her that he is just a normal guy in the end, she realizes that she does care for him more than just a celebrity or a superior.

Ok, that was a really long explanation and I hope that 1) it made sense and 2) it didn't bore you. Maybe once you read further and have more insights into both Severus' and Avrille's childhoods it might not seem to hard to believe.

As for all of the other things you've been suggesting all throughout, I am DEFINITELY going to implement some of them! Once the queue is going I think I'm going to have a few chapters resubmitted with just nit-picky stuff that you, other readers, and myself have picked up on. Ok, well, let me just say how insanely HONORED I am that you're still reading this even though it's New Year's Eve, and I hope that you take some time out to enjoy yourself. I know you're probably too young, but maybe you can sneak a sip of your parents' champagne or whatever :) I believe you left another review already, so I'm going to go ahead and check that. Later!

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Review #36, by Hermionesclass101The Dream of One Night: Chapter Nine - Avrille

31st December 2007:
Wow, this chapter was particularly riveting. The description was wonderful; especially the way you described Severus's smile. I like that Lockhart is trying to...get to 'know' her better, and that she is completely oblivious to the "Avrille-Hysteria" gripping the school. I really like that you aren't focussing on Harry in this story.

Every few moments I felt a prickle at the base of my neck, perhaps caused by the waves of magical knowledge interlacing throughout the aisles, unchecked and waiting for an inquiring mind to soak them up. - I really like this line in particular.

Brilliant, as per usual. And you'e goten me so hooked on this story, that I think I'm going to keep reading, and skip chapter 28, if that's okay with you.


Author's Response: Thank you for the review! I'm trying to clear out all of my old unanswered reviews, so you'll probably never read this, but I wanted to tie up loose ends on the site. If for some reason you ever read this, I apologize profusely for the insane delay. ~Renny

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Review #37, by Hermionesclass101The Dream of One Night: Chapter Eight - Severus

31st December 2007:
I like how he's trying to avoid her, and how the whole school is mimicking her. I also like that she is too busy to notice it. My reviews are becoming quite pointless now, and I'm really tired as it's 1 AM here, so I'll review the rest tomorrow, okay?


Author's Response: Hahaha...yeah, go to bed! (except you already did by now...) I know the feeling when you really want to finish a story up, but your brain is totally mush. I guess it's kind of pointless to say again that you don't HAVE to review every chapter, but since you appear to be going so anyway, I think I'll just get down on my knees and press my forehead against the ground in sheer gratitude.

I'm going to assume that you're in school and on vacation, so I just want to say a HUGE thank you again for spending your super precious time reading my story! It's so incredibly nice of you. Ok, I think *I'm* going back to kitties woke me up early and now that I've had breakfast I think I'll give sleep another go. Later!

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Review #38, by Hermionesclass101The Dream of One Night: Chapter Seven - Avrille

31st December 2007:
I like how you had Lockhart do nothing, as that is what he probably did anyway. I also like how irritated Severus is at the mention of the damage and how confused she is by his coldness. I like the last line, because it seems like just the type of thing she would say. I liked this chapter a lot, and I still have 6 chapters to go, so 10/10


Author's Response: Again and again, thank you a million times for your reviews! It was so tempting to make Severus nicer to her in the beginning, but knew that wouldn't be nearly as interesting. Therefore I forced myself to make him as unpleasant as general politeness would allow :) I also wanted Avrille to be a really strong character, and I figured that only a constant pushing from her would make Severus eventually loosen up. Oh well, since you're still reading you can tell me later how well I do on this...

I just added your pen-name to my favorites so I can check out some of YOUR stories the second I have some free time! I have a queue in my reviewing thread, so I *should* do those first, but I think I can fit one or two of yours in there! XD

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Review #39, by Hermionesclass101The Dream of One Night: Chapter Six - Severus

31st December 2007:
I'm glad that you didn't have him accept Lucius's offer right away. I also like how you gave a little background at the beginning, particularly the voice tube, which is an original idea. I like how he's so angry, because I can definitely see him being furious, but he keeps his usual...haughtiness? I don't know how to describe it. Severus was really in character. Off to the nextchapter!


Author's Response: Yeah, being a Snape fan I was always kind of bothered by him letting Lucius give the team those brooms since in the books it really sounds like Draco just bought his way onto the team. So, to make myself feel better, I tried to lessen Severus' blame in the matter a bit. I'm glad you noticed that.

Lucius is super fun to write as well, total opposite of Lockhart I think. Both are total literary gems I think. And I did give both of them a slightly seedy side which isn't apparent in the original books. I hope you like the rest!

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Review #40, by Hermionesclass101The Dream of One Night: Chapter Five - Avrille

31st December 2007:
Okay, I love how you're keeping the story canon. It's almost like a missing moment type story. I also love that we get to see some Sinistra, who we know very little about from the books. Please forgive my short review, but I still have 8 chapters to go! Brilliantly written, really enticing.


Author's Response: Oh God, don't worry about the length of the reviews! I'm just happy you're liking it. Except for the fact that I included wizarding graduate schools and I did make the Yule Ball an annual event, I think the story is really pretty much canon, which I really worked hard on. Thank you!

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Review #41, by Hermionesclass101The Dream of One Night: Chapter Four - Severus

31st December 2007:
Jacques Rose-Cochon? Pink pig? Is that a name you came up with?

*Cue suspenseful music* Now you've got me wondering what he could have possibly meant by that last line. I thought the first part of Severus's speech was perfectly in character, and I love the hidden emotions, but he went on for a while and it got a bit tedious to read, if you'll forgive me for saying that. It did not, of corse, take away from the impeccable quality of the chapter. Goodness, now I'm sounding like Severus.

I like how you added the bit about Lucius; it keeps it canon, and the way he tried to charm her thickened the plot. I'm very happy that Severus has been struggling as hard as Avrille has to keep his mind of her, if that makes sense.

This review was shorter, thank goodness. And of course I'm going to review all the chapters! I don't mind! I have one question though. Just HOW Mature is this going to get? I'd really like to keep reading...


Author's Response: Hahaha! No one else has asked about that name! Ok, that actually comes from a video game called "Radiata Stories." The main character's name is Jack (Jacques) and in the beginning of the game he's a knight in the Rose-Cochon brigade, which sounds very impressive until you know what that means! I just needed a name so that popped into my head. Little tribute to Square-Enix I suppose :D

I know he goes on and on there...but I seriously think he would have. So I'll probably leave it. Severus is just such a lecturer...

There is definitely a bit more with Lucius, as you'll see in chapter 13 :) Ok, and as for how MATURE it is...basically in chapter 28 there's a "love" scene (YAY! Ahem..sorry). I think I wrote it very tastefully (as in, no anatomical terms!!) But because it's so *right there* I figured it needed a higher warning. Like I wouldn't want my 12 year old sister reading it, but my 16 year old German exchange sister had no problem with it. If it were a movie it'd be rated R, but definitely NOT NC-17. What happens in that chapter *is* in a way vital to the plot, but as long as you know what *happens* you can skip it I think. That is really the most "adult" part of the story. I hope that helps...

I saw that you have quite a few more reviews left, so I'm going to go read them! *SO EXCITED!*

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Review #42, by Hermionesclass101The Dream of One Night: Chapter Two - Severus

30th December 2007:
This chapter was amazing. You are an extraordinarily talented author and I find myself drawn in by your description. I love the way you characterized Snape in this chapter, because, unti DH, he wasn't one of my favourite characters. In fact, I pretty much hated him. :P Not anymore, because Sevily's canon!

zOMG, she has no MAGIC? What a plot twist! I love how you insinuated his sources without really coming out and saying it. I also love how you told us all about her past, without some of the pointles rambling other authors do to get their OC's history in there somewhere. I also love the cynicism at the beginning and this line:

whom I ended up failing half-way through the first term for unpardonable incompetence - I smiled here!

If I don't end this review now, it's going to take me forever to review all 13 chapters, so let me end by saying: 10/10


P.S. - And yes, Canada does rock. *nods and waves Canadian Flag*

Author's Response: Wow! Please don't feel like you have to review every single chapter! The story is, in its entirety, 38 chapters plus an epilogue, so that would take forever! Seriously, I'm just happy that you're reading it XD! I kind of started liking Snape in OotP because I felt so bad for him after that Pensieve scene. And he was just so darn cranky I thought, "Aw! He just needs a girlfriend!" so hence I started writing this story.

I thought I would hate it if Severus did end up being in love with Lily, but the way that JKR wrote it I ended up really liking it. I was crying incessantly during that whole chapter...I'm such a dork.

But, ahem, yes, glad you're liking MY story! Haha. I put a hell of a lot of time into it, so it's so nice to hear that you're enjoying it :D I did try to make Snape a *little* bit more likable I think, but if you were one of his students you probably wouldn't notice the difference :P Alright, going to go do some reading for a friend of mine. Thank you thank you!!

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Review #43, by Hermionesclass101The Dream of One Night: Chapter One - Avrille

30th December 2007:
Hi, this is Hermione101 from the forum review thread!

First, just let me say: A CANADIAN! Wo0t! I'm Canadian, and most stories have American OC's, so it's nice to see a Canadian!

Well, I love the way you described her emotions; very believable. There is a lot of description in this chapter, and very litle dialogue, and you managed to keep it from becoming boring to read it. That's hard when people aren't speaking, so kudos!

I also love the last bit, and your description was lovely, especially the parts about his deep, rich voice, and the body odour and jacket potatoes.

Overall, really excellent. I really enjoyed it.


Author's Response: Thanks so much! I'm American myself (kind of why I made Avrille go to school in Boston where I'm from) but I think Canadians are so much more awsome. My husband and I are going to immigrate there once he's out of the Army. Yay for Canada! Anyway, I never really noticed how little dialogue is in that chapter, but you're right! I usually prefer to write dialogue and I have to remind myself to add description later :) The body odour/potato thing (eeew!) actually game as a suggestion from my best friend who's been to London several times. And of course Alan Rickman was the inspiration behind the voice :D

Thanks again for reviewing!

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Review #44, by Hermionesclass101A Furry Little Problem: One step forward, two steps back

28th December 2007:
I have to FINALLY review one of your stories, just because they're SO GOOD! They're really well written, and the way you describe everybody's individual feelings is brilliant. I laughed really hard during the 'smoking episode'. Brilliant! And it doesn't hurt that Sirius/Remus is my favourite ship, either. I hope it turns out well!

Oh, one more thing, who's the Remus in your banner? He looks exactly as I pictured him.


Author's Response: Thanks so much for the review! I'm glad the smoking part made you laugh. It was just downright silly, wasn't it? I hope you like the ending of this story, since you're a fan of the ship. Oh, and the Remus in my banner is Heath Ledger, when he was younger. You like him too? Yay, cos he was my perfect Remus, too. I just photoshopped a couple scars on him and ta-da!

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Review #45, by Hermionesclass101Tongue Tied: A Movie Script Ending

24th December 2007:

I hope you hurry with the epilogue, and the sequel, becuse I don't know how long I can go without my LOVELY REMIOPUS FLUFF!!

This chapter was SUPERB, as always. I loved your deption of Remus's parents; definitely an original take ontheir personalities. I cn't do much gushing at the moment, but I'll do my best.

My favourite line was.

Remus leaps out at me from the side and pulls me into a tight hug and a long, shameless kiss.

Just because it was BEAUTIFUL, and REMUS-LIKE and LOVELY REMIOPUS FLUFF!! As far as quality, this was my favourite...

A cloud of black pointed hats with wide brims wobble uncertainly into the air before spiraling back down neglected in a rainbow sea of gold, green, scarlet and blue dress robes.


If I had to complain about anything, it would be the LENGTH! Definitely to shot to wrap up such a WONDERFUL STORY! :'( The last line was a perfect way to end it, though!

Can't wait tose all you 'incandiferous' chapter images, and I'm looking forward to the sequel!


Author's Response: Haha. Well you should just know that the epilogue and sequel don't really include fluff as a genre. Although there will be some happy moments.

I know the ending was short, I just sort of settled the last bits of important information and there wasn't a lot left to say for chapter 24. Still glad you liked it! Thanks for such awesome reviews all the time!


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Review #46, by Hermionesclass101:

18th December 2007:
Hi, this is Hermionesclass101 (forum name Hermione101) from the review thread!

First, corrections:

In the mid of everything, - Kind of confusing. I think you meant midst? Or maybe middle?

That's the only one I noticed, because almost immediately, your story drew me in. The language was enticing and beautiful, I could visualize the scene very quickly and fully. I loved how you described her emotions, and the way he acted around her. Wonderfully written, really beautiful, and the description was superb. To add more mystery, I would leave Regulus's name out, right until the very last sentence. Which by the way, was an effective closing. The three word sentence was a great way to start the chapter. Who is Emilia Malfoy? And isn't it Evan Rosier? *shrugs* Are they unknown relatives? Anyway, brilliant story. Please update soon!


BTW, I love the first sentence of your summary. It made me smile! LOL

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Review #47, by Hermionesclass101The Aftershock: Engagement

10th December 2007:
Hi, this is Hermionesclass101 (Forum name Hermione101) from the review thread.

Very interesting start, I'm going to have to keep reading. I loved the characterization of Ron and Hermione, but Ginny was kind of off, in my opinion. I like the little joke, but I don't see her mentioning marriage like that. Just my opinion. Also wanted to point out, they alreasy knew Teddy was a Metamorphmagus. It said in DH, and I quote "Not much hair. It looked black when he was born, but I swear it's turned ginger in the hour since." -- Remus Lupin, DH, pg. 416.

Other than that, it was really good. I loved the bit about him feeling resentful towards Teddy, especially how you described the sudden appearance of the feeling. I'm glad Hermione and Ron are getting married. Yay for Romione!!

Overall, 9/10. Very close to a ten. I'm adding this to my favourites, keep going.


Author's Response: Thanks for the review, and honesty is very good! I wrote the Metamorphmagus bit almost right after I read DH for the first time, and then I read it again and saw that part that you mentioned. I decided I'd just ignore that particular part of the book. o_O

Again, thanks so much for the review!

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Review #48, by Hermionesclass101And We End Up Here: And we end up here

8th December 2007:
Hi, it's Hermionesclass101 (Forum name Hermione101) from the review thread!

Wow, there's not much to say about this story. It was really touching, the emotions were described really well, the characters were canon, even though the story wasn't. Romeo Weasley, kind of cute, and definitely not a name I've ever seen in HP fandom. I love the cravings and I'm a big fan of Dramione, so I loved how she defended him. Lavender was really funny in this chapter, especially how you described her simper. Perfect. I could go on forever about how much I loved this one-shot, and if I had to pick something to comment on, it would be the fact that your title has no capitals. The rest was perfect, except for maybe having Romeo talk a bit more, cause Weasley's aren't really known for beig shy, and Lavender certainly isn't either. Just a thought.


Author's Response: Thank you so much! -hugs- Whoot for Dramione xP I kind of forgot Romeo existed as I was writing, I was so concentrated on Ron and Lavender. Ahaha yeah. I should probably add capitals to the title - thanks! =] Thank you so much again for the great review, glad you liked this! =D

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Review #49, by Hermionesclass101Say you'll wait for me: Say you'll wait for me...

7th December 2007:
Hi, I'm Hermionesclass101 (Forum name Hermione101) from the review thread.

Wow. Very good. Lots of emotion in there, and it was written well. I would have liked to know a bit more about Louise and instead of saying *Cue Flashback. . . . * you could just italicize the flashback, it would probably be easier. Also, to make it easier to read, you should double space all of your paragraphs instead of only some of them. The story itself was beautiful. Very well written. 10/10


Author's Response: Thanks very much for your advice! I understand your point about the flashback, I just didnt want to confuse anyone. I greatly appreciate your review, thank you, Alex xX

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Review #50, by Hermionesclass101I Will Never Forget You: I Will Never Forget You

7th December 2007:
Hi! It's Hermionesclass101 (Forum name Hermione101) from the review thread! I will review this story, but if you want your other story reviewed, please come back. It's not really fair if I review two of your stories. Sorry. Feel free to come back!

*Tear* that was sad. It didn't fit with the timeline of book, but that doesn't matter because it was written well. I feel sad for Eclipse, and I'm mad at Barty for what he did, but I can see his side too. The love of his life gave him up to Azkaban. That's definitely a very good story. Here are some lines that didn't make sense to me:

Slytherin house thought nearly the same only some twisted version which no sense at all. - I think you meant 'Slytherin house thought nearly the same, only some twisted version which MADE no sense at all.

He just never tried to excel, he did the bare minimum for every subject never anymore. - I don't understand this line at all.

Overall, 9/10. I really enjoyed reading your story.


Author's Response: Thank you. I know a lot of people love the ending. I made a note in the beginning about the AUness AND I corrected the mistakes. Thanks!

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