Reading Reviews From Member: AC_rules
  
707 Reviews Found

Review #1, by AC_rulesFraternization: Shine

7th August 2013:
*Insert Dudley falling out of fire place here*

I AM SO HAPPY THAT THERE IS CHUDLEY.

Also, you you you you WROTE HARRY. I tried to explain my fear of canon characters to someone the other day and they gave me such an odd luck (apparently, going 'so fanfiction is this thing where you can write about characters that already exist... except I'n scared of writing about the ones that exist' makes no sense) BUT YOU WROTE HARRY YOU WROTE HARRY and i likeeed him

and Dudley's 'but-I-got-more-birthday-presents-last-year' can I can I have more of that please. I know you've made him a bit nice and punched him in the face with character development which is fabby but can we have some more of his spoiled way shining through ever so often? Like a mini tantrum at his dad or something?

this is gonna be great I can tell.

MORE PLEASE HANZI.

Yup.

Lots of grammar-related luvey-dovey (writing Mexter atm) and bladder jokes,

Helen

Author's Response: i wrote harry and i didnt even mean to |:

like he was definitely going to be in this but i didnt think he was actually going to come in this soon because this chapter was supposed to be about petunia (so was the last actually, shall i make a game of how long i can leave her out of this before it starts crumbling and becomes a really crap story or)

harry was weird and hard and i dont think i like him so i may go back on this at some point (read: probably never)

yes you can i was wanting to put that in but its not been feasible as of yet but you will DEFINITELY get that old dudley in future chapters. promise.

lovelovelove
x


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Review #2, by AC_rulesFraternization: Break

7th August 2013:
DUDDERS AT UNI.

You know, I reckon he'd really like the student life. Although i imagine he'd find the halls a bit of a shock actually but WELL BASICALLY I can't wait to see where this is going.

i can totes see Vernon watching Eastenders just to irritate Petunia and I LOVE PETUNIA AND I AM SO HAPPY THAT YOU WROTE IN THEIR FRIENDSHIP WITH MURIEL IT IS g8t I AM SO GLAD THIS IS HAPPENING.

Basically, I have nothing actually useful or coherent to say but I WISH FOR MORE AND THERE IS MORE SO I AM GOING TO READ ONWARDS

I hope this is an acceptable thing to do.

lots of lovely dovey stuff

-Helen

Author's Response: Yes, I do really think it will be a bit of a culture shock especially with lots of different type of people milling around him because they're going to be a particular type of people and he hasnt hung around people his age for years apart from Harry. But still he's got to stay at home and commute because of his job too.

Eastenders is great for Vernon ok. its dudders and his tradition and will carry on to be.

there will be more. most updated fic ever. (no not quite you've never seen the most updated and you never shall)

BYEEE


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Review #3, by AC_rulesThe Globetrotting Garden Gnome: The Globetrotting Garden Gnome

13th July 2013:
oh wow, that was so completely brilliant!

I think this might actually be one of my favourite of the entries. It's definitely unique and fabulous and I'm so glad I got the chance to read it. I loved the voice of the Gnome - he really had a gnome-quality about him that I'd really find difficult to explain, but it was definitely there. He was exactly like I would imagine a Gnome to be.

Also, George was great! I'm actually amazed you managed to get so much of his character through such an indirect narrative, but it was really brilliant. When he started feeding him pasta... oh, that was lovely. And for awhile I thought Angelina was going to be angry at him for bringing him along, but I'm so glad that she wasn't. The idea of them legging it out of a nice restaurant is such a weasley twin thing that it will forever be my head canon.

I really loved this! Absolutely fabulous :D

-AC

Author's Response: First of all, thank you SO MUCH for being so incredibly kind to me! One of your favourites? I feel so flattered. It's just lovely to hear that you found the gnome gnome-like (yes, that was a weird sentence...). What a compliment!

I am also really glad that you liked George in this! And I figured Angelina would only find it sweet. Besides, I imagine her being a little bit like George, with a great sense of humour - otherwise, I don't think she'll stand being married to him. And yes, running out of a restaurant like that is a very Weasley twin thing to do, now that you mentioned it ;)

Again, thank you so, so much for being so kind and encouraging! I can't tell you how happy this review has made me! You are just wonderful!!


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Review #4, by AC_rulesThe Muggle Experience: Who needs magic?

13th July 2013:
I'm going to China soon! And this is the main think I'm completely worried about. I am not quite as brave as Neville is and

a) if I was magically I would definately NOT leave my wand behind

b) I am going with a tour company, so hopefully the language barrier won't be such a problem

but having also just got back from a backtracking trip across Europe I have to say this is so true to form. The number of times i started panicking about busses and trains and metro stations! And, man, it's always brilliant when someone takes pity on you (hostel owners mostly) and call for a cap.

Anyway, I really like the relationship between Hannah and Neville in this. I really felt like I could see a little of the 11 year old Neville shinning out from some of his matter of factness, and it was really lovely. THe story was told really smoothly and I really appreciated how you spaced out the timing to make the piece more true to life.

Nice entry!

-AC

Author's Response: If you're going to China soon, I suggest getting mime lessons :P

Seriously, you will be fine with the kind of trip you are taking. This story is based on the trip I took a couple years ago and yeah, I wished I was magical back then! When you prepare your trip, nowhere does it say that no matter how much you prepare with English written books, it's useless because the locals won't even understand the words you are showing them!! It's definitly stressful at first but it's amazing how fast you adapt to this kind of situation.

I'm glad I could convey this feeling in my characters. I wrote this pretty quickly and I know it definitely lack detailing but the characters and their interactions was crucial to me so I'm glad at least that worked out :)

Thanks again and have a nice trip! Let me know how it goes :)


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Review #5, by AC_rulesVoldemort on Broadway: Chapter 1

13th July 2013:
Ahahahahahahahahahaha, okay wow. I know that you've written a few of these similar stories about good old Voldie, but I've yet to get round to reading any of them. I've really been meaning too, but... well, maybe I'll start soon.

Basically, this is absolutely hilarious and I loved it. I love all the witty popular culture references about Cedric's vampire movies and about Lockhart's Shakespeare experience (I actually snorted at that bit, which I'm sure was very attractive).

The few lines proceeding this one

“Oh come on Harry, what did I ever do to you?” Voldemort pleaded.

Were definitely my favourite. Harry was an EXCELLENT judge and I'd pay to watch him continue delivering sassy insults. Nice.

Also, the ending. Bah! Loved it! So perfect for the house cup (although, of course, Blue and bronze will win ;) ). Awesome entry!

-AC

Author's Response: Thanks a lot for the review!

Glad you got the Kenneth Branaugh reference! I enjoy imagining if the characters were self-aware of their pop culture fame, as well as the connections with other characters played by the same actors.

I fear the fame is starting to get to Harry;s head a bit, and he has to be careful no to get typecast as the typical "grumpy British judge"

Thanks again!


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Review #6, by AC_rulesGoodbye, Molly Prewett: One

13th July 2013:
Hello Athene!

I absolutely love the idea of Gretna Green and a muggle wedding for Molly and Arthur!! Although, I'm pretty sure Julia said after her longstanding joke about Gretna Green in Starving Artists she's still getting adverts FOR Gretna Green coming up in the corner of the screen... so maybe watch out for that.

I loved your characterisation of Moody at the beginning along with the bits of the war seeping through those lives and forcing Arthur into action. I found the pjs optional bit equal parts hilarious and awkward - like if your aunts or uncles said something similar - but I really love the way you write Molly and Arthur.

This was lovely and a pleasure to read. Great entry :)

-AC

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Review #7, by AC_rulesA Picnic to Remember : The Surprise

13th July 2013:
Hi there adluvshp!

I don't think this is 'not a very good one-shot' at all. I actually thought this was really quite nice. I know you know quite a lot about the place that you've set this in, and the idea of such a sweet lovely scene between Dom and Teddy is a real break from all the drama that seems to be inflicted upon them from the rest of the fandom.

It was actually really cute and I was definitely routing for them. And I think Dom's sister would be able to appreciate the cuteness of it for them too, so it feels to me like that drama would stay away which was lovely.

Didn't spot many mistakes and it was a really sweet story.

Nice entry!

-AC

Author's Response: Hey Helen! (It's me Aditi btw haha, we haven't talked on skype in forever but I hope you remember - that is not meant to sound creepy btw) xP

I am glad you thought this was nice. Yes, I've been to the place I talked about here and hoped that it would make it all the more believable haha. I am pleased you liked the sweet scene between them, yeah I wanted to give them a break from the drama too.

I am glad you found this cute and that you were routing for them. Vic should definitely be able to appreciate them.

Thank you for your lovely review!


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Review #8, by AC_rulesFinal Call: Final Call

13th July 2013:
Hi there Kira!

I love stories about Petunia, especially when they're done well, and this was done so well and I loved it! I've never read a first person from Petunia before but...ack, I think you captured her really well.

I can definitely imagine a young Petunia being impressed by Vernon's ability to think about the future (particularly after all the distinct oddness with her sister, and all that ewwy magic stuff ;) ) - I think security would definitely make her feel more grown up and safe. And then I can DEFO imagine eight years rolling round and Petunia beginning to regret that.

Actually, I can imagine Petunia regretting a lot of things. I believe she's a character who regretted how things ended up with her family and regretted her treatment of Harry, yet felt unable to snap out of that. I think this was a really lovely demonstration of this and ack, yeahh, loved it.

Brilliant entry

-AC

Author's Response: HI THERE!
1st person Petunia was HARD; I did not predict her many levels and emotions when I boarded this ship of a story. YES! Exactly. Wanting stability, but realizing all the things she missed out on. We see glimmers of her regret, but, you're right again, just can't snap completely out of it. Such a great review. You have a real talent for pinpointing things just...thanks. Thank you!


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Review #9, by AC_rulesArthur Weasley Air-Bound: Arthur Weasley Air-Bound

13th July 2013:
Hi there HeyMrsPotter!

This is really SUCH a lovely story. I'm absolutely terrible at writing the canon characters liked this, but I really liked the way you presented them. Arthur was as awesome always and the matter of fact way you addressed Fred's death was sad and a little perfect. I mean, you acknowledged it had had a real effect and yet they were all still living and such.

I feel like Harry would have been a little bit more awkward and less forthcoming about his feelings rather than the speech - because Harry's not so hot on talking about his feeling - but it definitely seemed in keeping with something he'd do, and I loved Hermione and Ron too!

The final line about the shed was really great and I'm so glad that Arthur finally got a chance to ride the plane. Go Arthur!

Lovely entry

-Helen

Author's Response: Hi Helen!

Thanks so much for this lovely review. In my haste to get this entered in time for the HC I didn't edit as much as I usually did so I intend to go back over it and will take your comments about Harry's speech on board, thank you! I'm glad you liked the portable of the other characters, it's something I try very hard with when writing :)

Thanks again :)


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Review #10, by AC_rulesPotter's North to Alaska: Potters North to Alaska

13th July 2013:
Hi there Hufflepuff Blitz!

I really loved some of the entertaining bits in this story. I can definitely imagine Lily being a very sassy kid (in my head canon, Harry accidentally spoils he kinds a bit - he doesn't mean to, but he had a rough time so I feel like I'll let him off), and I can imagine that would lead to her being a bit embarrassed by a minivan (which is obviously completely and utterly cool - pfft, LIly)

Your Teddy's pov was really humourous, but in parts I felt like it could be a little clearer. What with the last bit when Harry asks who he's speaking too, I think you should make it clear that Teddy is telling the story to the 'imaginary kittens sitting in my office' to really highlight the humour in that.

I'd love to go to Alaska, and I feel like this captures some of the spirit of the family holiday pretty well - ever quite ends up how you'd expected.

Nice job!

-Ac

Author's Response: Thanks a lot! I do plan on editing it after the house cup is over to bump up the quality some :)

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Review #11, by AC_rulesSunset Inn: Sunset Inn

13th July 2013:
Hey there Sian!

So, I'm really trying to work out whether this is the first story of yours I've read, and I really think that it is. And now I'm certainly questioning that decision because this was absolutely great. First, I really loved how smooth the whole story was. It had that smooth quality that makes the writing a pleasure to read in itself, beyond the plot and the characters and such (which were all great anyway), but just on a writing level.

All the lovely details here were really great and it makes me want to hit your authors page and just absorb it all up, cause the whole thing was just awesome. It was a really interesting idea, too - another bit of the wizarding world that I can fill in with a head canon.

Anyway, brilliant entry!

-Helen

Author's Response: Hi Helen!

Can I just tell you how excited I was to get this review from you? Because for someone like you to compliment my writing is amazing and now I can't stop grinning like an absolute idiot.

I don't really know what to say in response to this, because I'm finding it a little hard to write a proper reply, but thank you so much!

Sian :)


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Review #12, by AC_rules( [ { final destination } ] ): the end

12th July 2013:
dhiadhdohaoihofdhfodahf.

Wisty.

I LOVED this this was so arty and fabulous and can I HAVE IT PLEASE. How dare you say this is rubbish it is wonderful and I am in awe of all your talent and I genuinely think you're going to be a writing superstar and I'm like salivating over how glorious this is.

yrghdada. Okay I'm going to favourite this and possibly read it every morning. It's one of the best depictions of death I've ever read (and aint that a compliment) and it was just so so so so so so so so good so don't give me any of that 'rushed' nonsense.

Loved it. SO much.

Wow.

AC

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Review #13, by AC_rulesHermione Weasley's European Adventure: A Family Vacation

12th July 2013:
Hey there MissMdsty!

Honestly, I didn't expect this story to be so hilarious, but I was grinning from ear to ear the whole way through.

First, I've just got back from a month touring round Europe (with a backpack and lots of trains... incidentally we one-upped Hermione and went to ten countries in just under four weeks, HA!) so you were talking about all these places that I've just come back from, which was great.

I LOVE the idea of Scorpius sweating buckets over the idea of a plane, and Scorp and Ron bonding over sheer terror of muggle-transport. The death eater scares! AHHA. I can just IMAGINE it!

And the conversations between Rose and Scorp were brilliant. I especially loved the 'YOUR PARENTS BROKE INTO GRINGOTTS' that is a VERY good reason not to trust people.

Also, it's pretty hilarious that Ron is more comfortable travelling via dragon than via airplane.

Great entry!

-AC

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Review #14, by AC_rulesAn unexpected journey: An unexpected journey

12th July 2013:
Hey there Melian!

As soon as I sorry the summary for this story, I knew it was going to be absolutely great. It's one of those little throwaway comments in the books that reminds me why I love fanfiction so much - of course, I absolutely and completely wanted to know more about that time Charlie took his apparition test and landed on an old lady.

I love the name Elspeth, by the way, and it was definitely a great name for the old lady. N'awwh, bless her... her quiet life being interrupted by a pesky old wizard!

Aha, and Mrs Weasley being equal parts embarrassing and fabulous. Love it.

Thanks for writing such a great entry!

-AC

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Review #15, by AC_rulesA Peculiarity of Sorts: A Peculiarity of Sorts

12th July 2013:
Hello there ShadowRose!

This story was so lovely that I might have squeed a little bit. Honestly, I can't get my head around writing Luna and I'm in absolute awe of anyone who attempts it - she's so unique and luna-esque and I don't feel I have the qualifications, but this was a really lovely portrayal.

I especially loved this line here.

"But that was Luna Lovegood for you. She was capable of making any situation a lot more interesting, if not also a lot stranger as well."

I thought that was really cute and a nice way to describe Luna... and you definitely got her matter-of-fact oddness across, with the references to Neville. She reminded me a lot of film Luna actually, so really nice job.

And Rolf! Aw. The finishing each other sentences about the journey was just lovely and very very cute.

Really enjoyable entry! And I like the travel theme too.

Happy writing!

-AC

Author's Response: Hello!

I'm so happy you think I did Luna's portrayal justice - I was a bit nervous about writing her, just because she is such an off-beat character. I'm glad you enjoyed this little one-shot!

-ShadowRose (Taylor)


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Review #16, by AC_rulesCaradoc Dearborn and the Grand Adventure: A Bright Future

12th July 2013:
Hi there LilyEPotter!

I really enjoyed this short little piece, mostly because I had a similar (if not quite as awesome) opportunity myself the year. My Dad always makes up these 'traditions' and, thanks to this tradition, he offered to take me on holiday anywhere in the world (ish... apparently Australia was too far out...) and I was SO clueless as to where I wanted to go for such a long.

I don't have a year, just a few weeks, but I think you captured the feeling of SO MUCH WORLD WHERE TO GO really well, and it was really lovely to read. I also liked all the magical places you reference - there was obviously quite a bit of thought put into that, which was cool, and all these places sound really interesting. Damn I wish I was magical so I could go see and explore all these magical places :D

The story was also really smooth too, so well done for that!

-AC

Author's Response: Thank you very much!

I did have a lot of fun researching for this story as well as writing it! I only wish that I could spend the time traveling the world and seeing the different sights.

Thank you very much for reading and reviewing!


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Review #17, by AC_rulesStarving Artists: Metaphor Wrapping Paper

7th April 2013:
hi again Julia,

aww, man I'm getting feels all over again about the Scorp/Lucy relationship. THIS WAS SO LOVELY. I mean, I just like how it's all extended metaphor and ridiculous existentialism and artiness and loveliness (definitely reminds me of how I told to my coursemates) and yup, you have another whole host of cracking lines ('screw the door' has to be one of my favourites) and I really love how, basically, a lot of the drama in this was just a big fat misunderstanding.

I think that's often the way with relationships and it's nice to actually have that pinned down in fanficiton form. I mean, if everyone was just honest about their intentions then wouldn't that be so much better for everyone? Even if that honesty is like... oh, you ruin my internal filing system (I have one of those and I feel Lucy's pain).

Well, I love this story and loved every inch and every word of it. So congratulations on finishing it (years late with that one, but there we go) and congrats on your well deserved Dobby and enjoy your nice new round number :)

AC

Author's Response: Aloha!

Eee, thank you! My life is just one big bundle of ridiculous existentialism and artiness, minus the loveliness, so this fic was a piece of cake to write in places. I wish I'd started it now, though, seeing as I'm an actual art student these days and I have plenty of inspiration.

Awh, thank you! I know, all my experiences of relationships have been fairly awkward, plagued with misunderstandings, and mildly ridiculous. So I do like to write about that a lot. It just...feels more real?

Ah, thank you so much! You are wonderful ♥ ♥ ♥


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Review #18, by AC_rulesStarving Artists: Emotional Wronski Feint

7th April 2013:
So, I admit that I am a bad person who read and loved this story and never left any reviews even though I read and love (although I believe I did review most of Weather for ducks, so I'm hoping that you'll forgive me a bit) so I have decided that I will definitely join you in the aim to get this to a nice round 500 (because I feel the pain of the unround number too)

And this chapter has such a great chapter title who could resist? (I hate chapter titles, they are the worst things eevvverrr).

So this is the most romantic line of all time

"Lucy, I'm a vegetarian…"

But, see, I kind of think this story was written for me because THIS IS MY IDEA OF ROMANCE I'm so bad at all that... spouting purple prose and talking lots of rubbish about feelings and what not. I LIKE relationships being condensed down to really obscure metaphors because well... at that point I can deal with it.

Ohmygosh, I read about this cutest proposal ever the other day. This guy and his girlfriend were both physicists so he proposed to her VIA an academic paper (it was so adorbs. there was like a 'happiness' 'time' graph with a prediction of future happiness... google it) and I was flailing about my flat being like MY VERSION OF ROMANCE EXISTS IN THE REAL WORLD and everyone else told me that it was really sad and a bit weird (it was not) but this really reminds me of that.

And I LOVED the Quidditch stuff. Man.

I may have to reread this whole story at some point very soon :)

AC

Author's Response: HELLEEEN I am chuffed to see you :3

Baww, thank you! Being so close to 500 was just too annoying, so I felt I had to go on the forums and beg...you are my Sir Luckless in shining armour~

OH NO IT IS MY IDEA OF ROMANCE TOO. Funny story, this: when I was 13 and held torch for a certain boy in my group of friends, awkward courting ensued, things progressed, and after he kissed me for the first time he looked at me all serious-like and said 'I love you.' And you know what I said in return? 'Right back atcha, pal!!!'. I shouldn't be allowed to leave the house.

That IS the cutest proposal! :3

Feel free - I've edited it to hell and back, so it's almost acceptable now!

Thank you for your beautiful reviews ♥


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Review #19, by AC_rulesReason to Fight: Prologue

5th April 2013:
Oh hi there ValWitch! :)

Firstly, I have to say that even from the beginning of this chapter your writing is very very very pretty. I can't tell you why 'It is not safe, anymore, to aimlessly wander the streets' sounds so pretty in my head, but it really really does.

Oh SNAP I was not expecting that for the ending of the first part of the section. I think the fact that you went into her clothes a little bit (which normally I don't like) and she seems quite prim and proper and BOOM she gets her wand out.

Yup. Liking this so far.

Arrggh. Okay, I really like the juxtaposition of all these descriptions of pretty ladies with all this action .

Oh, Johanna. You are... well. Well played dear, well played.

"They looked like barely hatched ducklings, floating in the blue overalls that were too large for them."

^ do excuse my whilst I droool over this lovely description. Ack.

Okay, one small thing... I kind of feel the like the 'French Ministry of Magic' jars your flow slightly. I mean, I'm already really aware that we are in france and I imagined the French wouldn't call it the French Ministry... so maybe, just change that to the french for Ministry? Or something similar like that. I'm sure everyone would know where you meant (particularly as the description about the Minster comes just after it).

Okay, so I've now come to the end and I REALLY LIKE THIS STORY I DO. This is lovely. I thought the way you introduced all the characters was really smooth (especially with them all at the end) and, normally, I would have thought introducing so many characters in the first chapter would have been... well, too much, but actually I thought it worked really well.

And that ending. Ooh, what an ending.

I reallly really want to know more about this magical involvement in the war (fascinating idea, too) and this is so original and lush and yep. You have gained a fan of this story here. This is wonderful :)

-AC

Author's Response: Oh hi Helen!

Yes, there is more to Camille and Johanna than it seems, isn't there?

I AM VERY VERY HAPPY YOU LIKE MY WRITING. Your compliments made my day, and yes I've edited the bit about the French Ministry as you suggested, and I AM BEAMING AT THIS REVIEW LIKE A MADWOMAN so I shall be quiet now.

Thank youuu :)


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Review #20, by AC_rulesA Minor Setback: Chapter of the First

5th April 2013:
Hi there AlexFan!

I'd totally put off tagging you in the review battle because I didn't realise you had a new story on your profile, but I thought I'd check just in case and heeerre we are.

So, first off... in your first paragraph your speaker sounds pretty erratic which I can see is definitely the way you wanted it to appear (and for the subject matter, I can understand the poor girl is likely panicking). There's just a few things that have sort of slipped through her hysteria.

I suppose I should start at the very beginning of things shouldn't I?

Personally, I'd have had this line as a separate paragraph (just a one line thing) but you should definitely have a comma in there, separating the' shouldn't I' (as that's the bit that's a question). Also, there's such a rush of information in the first paragraph, then you repeat some of it in the second (especially the bit about her Mum pestering here) which seemed almost, unnecessary?

(forgive me for going for the CC in this review, I've been doing work all day so I have my editing hat on)

I very much appreciate the irony of her mother encouraging to go out more though. I imagine that's going to lead to a rather amusing conversation.

Okay, so moving onto the party bit. She says it looked as if I had arrived early but there appears to be quittteee a lot already going on (from what you've said in the lines before) so maybe just clarify that.

Ooh, I like your dialogue. I think that's definitely one of your strengths - it's natural and amusing and engaging. I'm also pretty please that you have Albus looking a bit gross rather than a dreamy bucket of manliness (as is usally the case).

Okay, here...

This made me angry; I did know how to have fun.

One of the things that's difficult about writing in first person is showering rather than telling emotions/feelings etc. Once you've mastered it it makes the whole thing feel a lot smoother. Generally, inside your head you rarely think 'oh, I'm happy now' or 'right now I am angry' (apart from when attached to an internal monologue, I guess). So, think about things you do subconsciously whilst you're angry - clench your fists, scowl, hunch your shoulders. Then talk about why it makes you angry. Show me what makes your character tick.

Ack, I stopped reviewing as I go for awhile there as I got distracted by the actual story. So, having read the rest of your chapter, I definitely think you've got a really interesting character here. I like the fact that she's anti-social and driven (although it'd be nice to know what her post-hogwarts plans are, as they may or may not have been somewhat ruined here) and I like her snarky tongue (you know me, love a bit of sarcasm).

I thought her reaction to the discovery was really good, too, and it was nice that Albus was trying to talk to her (although I would have thought he might have tried to talk to her a little bit before then). I also wonder whether she's have given the information to Madam Pomfrey so readily?

But, like I said, that was a really interesting and gripping first chapter and I'm sorry that i went a little overboard on the review front - it's been a long day and I just felt like it :)

-AC

Author's Response: I'm not joking when I say that I was literally editing this as I went along the review and I loved each and every single bit of feedback that you gave me (and that has now been added in).

I totally forgot that I took second paragraph out in the edited version (someone else had pointed this out to me so I took their advice). Anyway, that paragraph is now gone because it was, in fact, really redundant.

I've been answering reviews all day so at the moment I am literally living off of them and taking in every single bit of criticism left for me.

It's always nice to know what I'm good at and what I need to work on. I take extra care with my dialogue because I notice a lot in writing (fanfictions and novels included) that dialogue is sometimes really choppy or staccato and it just annoys me to no end so I try to not do that.

I've never really understood how a drunk, sweaty teenage boy with bad breath is ever attractive. I really don't so I never really understand how some characters are attracted by that in fanfiction. Whenever I read that happening, while the character is going "omg, they're so attractive," I'm sitting in my seat going "oh God, ew, get away from her, you sound gross, take a shower and have a breath mint."

I fixed that part where you show instead of telling (I have a habit of doing that sadly and I really need to work on that).

I'll take it that it's a good thing that you got distracted by the story enough that you reviewed it *le awkward thumbs up* I'm assuming that means that it got interesting.

I can't help but make my characters even slightly sarcastic, I just love adding sarcasm (it makes everything a lot funnier in my opinion).

Madam Pomfrey is going to end up being a huge part of her life and if she's going to help Seraphina she's got to know anything that may be of help, right?

Don't be sorry at all, I absolutely love replying to long reviews because there's stuff that I can reply about! Anyway, thanks so much for reviewing!


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Review #21, by AC_rulesA Series of Unfortunate Pranks: April Fools

2nd April 2013:
Hi there!

First, I've got to say that one of my favourite quotes from this was she was soaking wet and trying to kill James with her mind which really made my life. We've all been there. I also really liked that you had Lily pre-warn James with exactly what she was planning on doing and that he was just his usual arrogant self and didn't listen to her. I think that definitely added a touch of excellence to her comeback (because you can imagine him, at the end of it, just thinking WHY did I not listen to her!?!?). Your pranks were creative and amusing, too, so they were really fun to read about.

I also liked the tone of this. It was quite unusual way of narrating the story, in that you had those little bits like 'things for Lily were about to get much worse.' I'd have liked for you to have this almost narrator figure to make a few more of the almost sarcastic comments about things. but I think the way you narrated things really fit with the story.

Generally, I really nice little story.

:)

AC

Author's Response: Kind of freaking out that you're reviewing my one-shot because you're amazing and famous and all that jazz. Anyllamas.

I had debated on whether I should've made James listen to Lily and stop the pranks or at least tone them down but then it occurred to me that that would not be what James Potter would do and let's face it, the one-shot would be going nowhere if I had done that.

I thought I would have to resort to some very cliche pranks because I was worried that I wouldn't be able to think anything up but my brain surprised me with the ideas that it had so yay for that!

Thank you so much for the review and positive feedback!


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Review #22, by AC_rulesetc. etc. (and life goes on): Bare-Knuckled Heartbreaking

26th March 2013:
Gina i love you.

I don't even think I have anything else to say because this as just so good I don't even know what to do with it. THANK YOU for addressing the morning after issue as you did (appreciate that a lot) and GOOD GOD what is Clemence doing?

And Albus... actually, just all of it. I can't. I can't.

SO YES um thanks for this (except not, because now I can't. I just can't .)

what happened to my words

No but, good day sir. And good night.

Thanks for a great update :D

Author's Response: HELENENENENENEN. ♥

Clemence pretty much chose the most bacteria-infested place to lose her virginity. All I'm thinking is POND SCUM D:

GOOD GOD WHAT IS THIS WHOLE SCHOOL DOING, REALLY? entertaining us, I suppose.

No Helen, you must can, you must can so hard that you can-can.

ok this response has gone far enough.



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Review #23, by AC_rulesA Brief Description on Life as a Ghoul: My Long Awaited Opportunity

11th March 2013:
Okay, so I saw this on your page and I genuinely couldn't resist reading it.

This is genuinely one of the best things I've read in ages (and your talking to a person who's been kneed deep in philosophy essays all morning... oh wait, maybe that's contributing to the issue?) and I love it how fanfiction ALWAYS seems to highlight these things that of course I wanted to know about. Of COURSE I wanted to know the perspective of the ghoul-in-pjs. I just needed you to let me know about that.

The only thing that could have made this better if there'd been a bigger struggle for communication. I can imagine Ron trying to mime downstairs and 'pretend' and 'pjs' for about ten minutes before Arthur/Hermione cut in all YOU KNOW HE CAN PROBABLY UNDERSTAND YOU RONALD and then the twins are all dubious and she steps forward like 'do you understand, Ghoul?'

And then he's like YES OF COURSE YOU IDIOT.

But, really, I loved the whole thing and I'm so glad I took a read. Thank you for writing!

-AC

Author's Response: Haha hey AC!

Wow thanks for the compliment, I'm really glad that you liked it so much :D Yeah I always wondered how they managed to persuade the ghoul, and I figured others would too, so I decided to write this! Haha I'm glad that you wanted to read it though!

I didn't think of that, and it's actually a really good idea, to add in Ron miming, and the twins laughing, and Hermione being Hermione! That just made me laugh so much at the thought of it, I think I have to include that now!

Thank you for the lovely review, and I'm really glad that you enjoyed it :D

-Kiana!


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Review #24, by AC_rulesAgainst All Odds: The First Meeting

5th March 2013:
Hello there Kiana!

It's been quite a long time since I've read any Remus/Tonks (in fact, I think I've only read or two even with that), so I'm really looking forwards to see how this pans out!

I really liked the idea of looking into the birth of the Order, actually, as it's a time that I've always been intrigued about... and Tonks is such an interesting character. I'd really like to hear more about her relationship with her mother/her wider family and how she feels about that, especially if she was talking to Sirius about it (that conversation is so overdue - it would be nice for Sirius to be re-reminded that not everyone he's related to are absolutely horrridible).

One thing I noticed is that you often start your sentences with 'I' - if you scroll down the side of the page, about every other paragraph starts with I. Whilst there's nothing wrong with doing that, it makes things sound slightly repetitive. I know it's a pain with third person, but maybe just try to be more aware of that?

It doesn't look like Remus has made much of an impression yet, so I'm really excited to see where you go on with this. Tonks is such an interesting character :)

-AC

Author's Response: Hello there AC!

I think I've only ever read a Remus/Tonks one-shot, and I really loved it, so I felt the need to write a novella about them, so I hope it works out well, as I don't have much experience with them!

I liked the birth of the Order as well, as it was something that always interested me, so I wanted to the start the story there, so I'm glad that you liked it.

Yes Tonks is a very interesting charatcer, I think that's why I decided to write it from her POV! Her family should feature in the next chapter or the one after, as I was found it interesting, given the fact her pureblood mother ran off with a muggleborn man!

I know what you mean about Sirius! I feel so bad for him, so I need Sirius to see that he is loved, and isn't alone, as that's one of the thing that saddens me the most!

I didn't notice my use of I's! I'll definitely go back, and change it, as I would hate for it to be repetitive! So thank you for pointing that out :D

Thank you for this great review, it made me smile!

-Kiana :D


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Review #25, by AC_rulesOther Side of Glass: dust

21st December 2012:
Okay, ack, this was really really interesting and tragic and heartbreaking all at the same time.

I think this was my favourite line "At first I couldn't place whose voice it was, only knew it wasn't Fred's" . I think there was just something so poignant about the fact that it didn't really matter whose voice it was, purely because it wasn't Fred. The death of Fred is one of the most tragic aspects of the whole book - because they were twins and that's one of the closest bonds you can have with a person. They shared the say womb, for goodness sake. And I won't ever forgive JK for doing such a thing to my poor heart.

But this was a really really interesting start. And I can imagine George, in the moments afterwards, letting himself being mistaken for Fred for a few moments so he didn't have to deal with it.

The imagery about the dust was really lovely too as was the idea of the rain and what not. Loved it :)

Ack, this was heartbreaking and lovely. Also, sorry this swap took such a long time! I got really busy all of a sudden, but thank you very very much for a lovely review! :)

-AC

Author's Response: Oh thank you so much for this lovely review!

Yeah, Fred's death just...killed me a little as well. I know JKR broke all our hearts with that one fell swoop...but then there are lots of annoying writers like me who keep killing Fred over and over again in their fics :P

I'm glad you enjoyed this piece; it means a lot to me! Thanks again :)

-teh


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