hi again Julia,
aww, man I'm getting feels all over again about the Scorp/Lucy relationship. THIS WAS SO LOVELY. I mean, I just like how it's all extended metaphor and ridiculous existentialism and artiness and loveliness (definitely reminds me of how I told to my coursemates) and yup, you have another whole host of cracking lines ('screw the door' has to be one of my favourites) and I really love how, basically, a lot of the drama in this was just a big fat misunderstanding.
I think that's often the way with relationships and it's nice to actually have that pinned down in fanficiton form. I mean, if everyone was just honest about their intentions then wouldn't that be so much better for everyone? Even if that honesty is like... oh, you ruin my internal filing system (I have one of those and I feel Lucy's pain).
Well, I love this story and loved every inch and every word of it. So congratulations on finishing it (years late with that one, but there we go) and congrats on your well deserved Dobby and enjoy your nice new round number :)
ACAuthor's Response: Aloha!
Eee, thank you! My life is just one big bundle of ridiculous existentialism and artiness, minus the loveliness, so this fic was a piece of cake to write in places. I wish I'd started it now, though, seeing as I'm an actual art student these days and I have plenty of inspiration.
Awh, thank you! I know, all my experiences of relationships have been fairly awkward, plagued with misunderstandings, and mildly ridiculous. So I do like to write about that a lot. It just...feels more real?
Ah, thank you so much! You are wonderful ♥ ♥ ♥ Report Review
So, I admit that I am a bad person who read and loved this story and never left any reviews even though I read and love (although I believe I did review most of Weather for ducks, so I'm hoping that you'll forgive me a bit) so I have decided that I will definitely join you in the aim to get this to a nice round 500 (because I feel the pain of the unround number too)
And this chapter has such a great chapter title who could resist? (I hate chapter titles, they are the worst things eevvverrr).
So this is the most romantic line of all time
"Lucy, I'm a vegetarian…"
But, see, I kind of think this story was written for me because THIS IS MY IDEA OF ROMANCE I'm so bad at all that... spouting purple prose and talking lots of rubbish about feelings and what not. I LIKE relationships being condensed down to really obscure metaphors because well... at that point I can deal with it.
Ohmygosh, I read about this cutest proposal ever the other day. This guy and his girlfriend were both physicists so he proposed to her VIA an academic paper (it was so adorbs. there was like a 'happiness' 'time' graph with a prediction of future happiness... google it) and I was flailing about my flat being like MY VERSION OF ROMANCE EXISTS IN THE REAL WORLD and everyone else told me that it was really sad and a bit weird (it was not) but this really reminds me of that.
And I LOVED the Quidditch stuff. Man.
I may have to reread this whole story at some point very soon :)
ACAuthor's Response: HELLEEEN I am chuffed to see you :3
Baww, thank you! Being so close to 500 was just too annoying, so I felt I had to go on the forums and beg...you are my Sir Luckless in shining armour~
OH NO IT IS MY IDEA OF ROMANCE TOO. Funny story, this: when I was 13 and held torch for a certain boy in my group of friends, awkward courting ensued, things progressed, and after he kissed me for the first time he looked at me all serious-like and said 'I love you.' And you know what I said in return? 'Right back atcha, pal!!!'. I shouldn't be allowed to leave the house.
That IS the cutest proposal! :3
Feel free - I've edited it to hell and back, so it's almost acceptable now!
Thank you for your beautiful reviews ♥ Report Review
Oh hi there ValWitch! :)
Firstly, I have to say that even from the beginning of this chapter your writing is very very very pretty. I can't tell you why 'It is not safe, anymore, to aimlessly wander the streets' sounds so pretty in my head, but it really really does.
Oh SNAP I was not expecting that for the ending of the first part of the section. I think the fact that you went into her clothes a little bit (which normally I don't like) and she seems quite prim and proper and BOOM she gets her wand out.
Yup. Liking this so far.
Arrggh. Okay, I really like the juxtaposition of all these descriptions of pretty ladies with all this action .
Oh, Johanna. You are... well. Well played dear, well played.
"They looked like barely hatched ducklings, floating in the blue overalls that were too large for them."
^ do excuse my whilst I droool over this lovely description. Ack.
Okay, one small thing... I kind of feel the like the 'French Ministry of Magic' jars your flow slightly. I mean, I'm already really aware that we are in france and I imagined the French wouldn't call it the French Ministry... so maybe, just change that to the french for Ministry? Or something similar like that. I'm sure everyone would know where you meant (particularly as the description about the Minster comes just after it).
Okay, so I've now come to the end and I REALLY LIKE THIS STORY I DO. This is lovely. I thought the way you introduced all the characters was really smooth (especially with them all at the end) and, normally, I would have thought introducing so many characters in the first chapter would have been... well, too much, but actually I thought it worked really well.
And that ending. Ooh, what an ending.
I reallly really want to know more about this magical involvement in the war (fascinating idea, too) and this is so original and lush and yep. You have gained a fan of this story here. This is wonderful :)
-ACAuthor's Response: Oh hi Helen!
Yes, there is more to Camille and Johanna than it seems, isn't there?
I AM VERY VERY HAPPY YOU LIKE MY WRITING. Your compliments made my day, and yes I've edited the bit about the French Ministry as you suggested, and I AM BEAMING AT THIS REVIEW LIKE A MADWOMAN so I shall be quiet now.
Thank youuu :) Report Review
Hi there AlexFan!
I'd totally put off tagging you in the review battle because I didn't realise you had a new story on your profile, but I thought I'd check just in case and heeerre we are.
So, first off... in your first paragraph your speaker sounds pretty erratic which I can see is definitely the way you wanted it to appear (and for the subject matter, I can understand the poor girl is likely panicking). There's just a few things that have sort of slipped through her hysteria.
I suppose I should start at the very beginning of things shouldn't I?
Personally, I'd have had this line as a separate paragraph (just a one line thing) but you should definitely have a comma in there, separating the' shouldn't I' (as that's the bit that's a question). Also, there's such a rush of information in the first paragraph, then you repeat some of it in the second (especially the bit about her Mum pestering here) which seemed almost, unnecessary?
(forgive me for going for the CC in this review, I've been doing work all day so I have my editing hat on)
I very much appreciate the irony of her mother encouraging to go out more though. I imagine that's going to lead to a rather amusing conversation.
Okay, so moving onto the party bit. She says it looked as if I had arrived early but there appears to be quittteee a lot already going on (from what you've said in the lines before) so maybe just clarify that.
Ooh, I like your dialogue. I think that's definitely one of your strengths - it's natural and amusing and engaging. I'm also pretty please that you have Albus looking a bit gross rather than a dreamy bucket of manliness (as is usally the case).
This made me angry; I did know how to have fun.
One of the things that's difficult about writing in first person is showering rather than telling emotions/feelings etc. Once you've mastered it it makes the whole thing feel a lot smoother. Generally, inside your head you rarely think 'oh, I'm happy now' or 'right now I am angry' (apart from when attached to an internal monologue, I guess). So, think about things you do subconsciously whilst you're angry - clench your fists, scowl, hunch your shoulders. Then talk about why it makes you angry. Show me what makes your character tick.
Ack, I stopped reviewing as I go for awhile there as I got distracted by the actual story. So, having read the rest of your chapter, I definitely think you've got a really interesting character here. I like the fact that she's anti-social and driven (although it'd be nice to know what her post-hogwarts plans are, as they may or may not have been somewhat ruined here) and I like her snarky tongue (you know me, love a bit of sarcasm).
I thought her reaction to the discovery was really good, too, and it was nice that Albus was trying to talk to her (although I would have thought he might have tried to talk to her a little bit before then). I also wonder whether she's have given the information to Madam Pomfrey so readily?
But, like I said, that was a really interesting and gripping first chapter and I'm sorry that i went a little overboard on the review front - it's been a long day and I just felt like it :)
-ACAuthor's Response: I'm not joking when I say that I was literally editing this as I went along the review and I loved each and every single bit of feedback that you gave me (and that has now been added in).
I totally forgot that I took second paragraph out in the edited version (someone else had pointed this out to me so I took their advice). Anyway, that paragraph is now gone because it was, in fact, really redundant.
I've been answering reviews all day so at the moment I am literally living off of them and taking in every single bit of criticism left for me.
It's always nice to know what I'm good at and what I need to work on. I take extra care with my dialogue because I notice a lot in writing (fanfictions and novels included) that dialogue is sometimes really choppy or staccato and it just annoys me to no end so I try to not do that.
I've never really understood how a drunk, sweaty teenage boy with bad breath is ever attractive. I really don't so I never really understand how some characters are attracted by that in fanfiction. Whenever I read that happening, while the character is going "omg, they're so attractive," I'm sitting in my seat going "oh God, ew, get away from her, you sound gross, take a shower and have a breath mint."
I fixed that part where you show instead of telling (I have a habit of doing that sadly and I really need to work on that).
I'll take it that it's a good thing that you got distracted by the story enough that you reviewed it *le awkward thumbs up* I'm assuming that means that it got interesting.
I can't help but make my characters even slightly sarcastic, I just love adding sarcasm (it makes everything a lot funnier in my opinion).
Madam Pomfrey is going to end up being a huge part of her life and if she's going to help Seraphina she's got to know anything that may be of help, right?
Don't be sorry at all, I absolutely love replying to long reviews because there's stuff that I can reply about! Anyway, thanks so much for reviewing! Report Review
I've been wanting to read some of your stories ever since I read one or two of your blogs, because they all seemed really brilliant. Then I was scrolling through your page (thanks Claw review battle) and I saw this and I couldn't resist.
I'm always amazed by the things kids/teenagers will find to pick on each other for, and then expect the person being picked on not to get upset. But, really, I thought Stewart's personality came through really clearly throughout - from the beginning, with his witty remark, to the end. That was really nice. It's not often you get such a clear character from such a short story.
Also, I can understand why Lily would be upset even if Stewart seems more... used to it, than anything else. It's rubbish seeing people you care about being walked all over, but at the same time I see Stewart's point...
huh. Well, this was a really interesting little story and I'm so glad I have it read! :)
-ACAuthor's Response: Ha, you wanted to read my silly stories? Oh geez...nah, you really don't. My stories are the epitome of fluff. Well, that's an understatement.
I believe this story started out as a one-shot, but I liked Stewart so much that I re-wrote it into something longer. Plus, I'm not used to writing about a character that refuses to talk unless it is absolutely necessary, so I'm excited.
Heh, I completely agree with you in regards to Lily's and Stewart's opinions of Roxanne. I'm not sure which opinion I like better, to be perfectly honest, because they both have strong points to them :/
Eh, it's not really all that spectacular, but I'm glad you stopped by :D
-Soapman Report Review
First, I've got to say that one of my favourite quotes from this was she was soaking wet and trying to kill James with her mind which really made my life. We've all been there. I also really liked that you had Lily pre-warn James with exactly what she was planning on doing and that he was just his usual arrogant self and didn't listen to her. I think that definitely added a touch of excellence to her comeback (because you can imagine him, at the end of it, just thinking WHY did I not listen to her!?!?). Your pranks were creative and amusing, too, so they were really fun to read about.
I also liked the tone of this. It was quite unusual way of narrating the story, in that you had those little bits like 'things for Lily were about to get much worse.' I'd have liked for you to have this almost narrator figure to make a few more of the almost sarcastic comments about things. but I think the way you narrated things really fit with the story.
Generally, I really nice little story.
ACAuthor's Response: Kind of freaking out that you're reviewing my one-shot because you're amazing and famous and all that jazz. Anyllamas.
I had debated on whether I should've made James listen to Lily and stop the pranks or at least tone them down but then it occurred to me that that would not be what James Potter would do and let's face it, the one-shot would be going nowhere if I had done that.
I thought I would have to resort to some very cliche pranks because I was worried that I wouldn't be able to think anything up but my brain surprised me with the ideas that it had so yay for that!
Thank you so much for the review and positive feedback! Report Review
Gina i love you.
I don't even think I have anything else to say because this as just so good I don't even know what to do with it. THANK YOU for addressing the morning after issue as you did (appreciate that a lot) and GOOD GOD what is Clemence doing?
And Albus... actually, just all of it. I can't. I can't.
SO YES um thanks for this (except not, because now I can't. I just can't .)
what happened to my words
No but, good day sir. And good night.
Thanks for a great update :DAuthor's Response: HELENENENENENEN. ♥
Clemence pretty much chose the most bacteria-infested place to lose her virginity. All I'm thinking is POND SCUM D:
GOOD GOD WHAT IS THIS WHOLE SCHOOL DOING, REALLY? entertaining us, I suppose.
No Helen, you must can, you must can so hard that you can-can.
ok this response has gone far enough.
♥ Report Review
Okay, so I saw this on your page and I genuinely couldn't resist reading it.
This is genuinely one of the best things I've read in ages (and your talking to a person who's been kneed deep in philosophy essays all morning... oh wait, maybe that's contributing to the issue?) and I love it how fanfiction ALWAYS seems to highlight these things that of course I wanted to know about. Of COURSE I wanted to know the perspective of the ghoul-in-pjs. I just needed you to let me know about that.
The only thing that could have made this better if there'd been a bigger struggle for communication. I can imagine Ron trying to mime downstairs and 'pretend' and 'pjs' for about ten minutes before Arthur/Hermione cut in all YOU KNOW HE CAN PROBABLY UNDERSTAND YOU RONALD and then the twins are all dubious and she steps forward like 'do you understand, Ghoul?'
And then he's like YES OF COURSE YOU IDIOT.
But, really, I loved the whole thing and I'm so glad I took a read. Thank you for writing!
-ACAuthor's Response: Haha hey AC!
Wow thanks for the compliment, I'm really glad that you liked it so much :D Yeah I always wondered how they managed to persuade the ghoul, and I figured others would too, so I decided to write this! Haha I'm glad that you wanted to read it though!
I didn't think of that, and it's actually a really good idea, to add in Ron miming, and the twins laughing, and Hermione being Hermione! That just made me laugh so much at the thought of it, I think I have to include that now!
Thank you for the lovely review, and I'm really glad that you enjoyed it :D
-Kiana! Report Review
Hello there Kiana!
It's been quite a long time since I've read any Remus/Tonks (in fact, I think I've only read or two even with that), so I'm really looking forwards to see how this pans out!
I really liked the idea of looking into the birth of the Order, actually, as it's a time that I've always been intrigued about... and Tonks is such an interesting character. I'd really like to hear more about her relationship with her mother/her wider family and how she feels about that, especially if she was talking to Sirius about it (that conversation is so overdue - it would be nice for Sirius to be re-reminded that not everyone he's related to are absolutely horrridible).
One thing I noticed is that you often start your sentences with 'I' - if you scroll down the side of the page, about every other paragraph starts with I. Whilst there's nothing wrong with doing that, it makes things sound slightly repetitive. I know it's a pain with third person, but maybe just try to be more aware of that?
It doesn't look like Remus has made much of an impression yet, so I'm really excited to see where you go on with this. Tonks is such an interesting character :)
-ACAuthor's Response: Hello there AC!
I think I've only ever read a Remus/Tonks one-shot, and I really loved it, so I felt the need to write a novella about them, so I hope it works out well, as I don't have much experience with them!
I liked the birth of the Order as well, as it was something that always interested me, so I wanted to the start the story there, so I'm glad that you liked it.
Yes Tonks is a very interesting charatcer, I think that's why I decided to write it from her POV! Her family should feature in the next chapter or the one after, as I was found it interesting, given the fact her pureblood mother ran off with a muggleborn man!
I know what you mean about Sirius! I feel so bad for him, so I need Sirius to see that he is loved, and isn't alone, as that's one of the thing that saddens me the most!
I didn't notice my use of I's! I'll definitely go back, and change it, as I would hate for it to be repetitive! So thank you for pointing that out :D
Thank you for this great review, it made me smile!
-Kiana :D Report Review
Okay, ack, this was really really interesting and tragic and heartbreaking all at the same time.
I think this was my favourite line "At first I couldn't place whose voice it was, only knew it wasn't Fred's" . I think there was just something so poignant about the fact that it didn't really matter whose voice it was, purely because it wasn't Fred. The death of Fred is one of the most tragic aspects of the whole book - because they were twins and that's one of the closest bonds you can have with a person. They shared the say womb, for goodness sake. And I won't ever forgive JK for doing such a thing to my poor heart.
But this was a really really interesting start. And I can imagine George, in the moments afterwards, letting himself being mistaken for Fred for a few moments so he didn't have to deal with it.
The imagery about the dust was really lovely too as was the idea of the rain and what not. Loved it :)
Ack, this was heartbreaking and lovely. Also, sorry this swap took such a long time! I got really busy all of a sudden, but thank you very very much for a lovely review! :)
-ACAuthor's Response: Oh thank you so much for this lovely review!
Yeah, Fred's death just...killed me a little as well. I know JKR broke all our hearts with that one fell swoop...but then there are lots of annoying writers like me who keep killing Fred over and over again in their fics :P
I'm glad you enjoyed this piece; it means a lot to me! Thanks again :)
-teh Report Review
So considering I've been dragged kicking and screaming into my family home and forced to socialise with my own family - very reluctantly and with a lot of whining after the first ten minutes minutes, if we're honest - this is making me feel a bit bad about the whole thing.
Now, I'm going to be up all night thinking about how I love my family really and it's most unfair of your Marina. But this was, as per, a lovely chapter and I like the fact that you didn't go into too many details about the Matthew date thing... because, well, it's nice that that isn't what this story is all about really.
So crazy that I'm nearly completely caught up! And then it's on to the sequel ;) Report Review
Wow, so this is like the first real bit of proper Dramione action that we've seen and I've got to say I really like it! I hadn't read any Dramione for a really long time before I'd read this one, and none quite like this set in Hogwarts (and not the sixth year) and I've got to say that I really enjoyed this chapter!
The growing friendship between the two of them is lovely. Although I think maybe you could build on the fact that part of the reason Hermione feels so lonely is because Harry and Ron are a bit dumb and dense about girls (particularly at this age) so they don't really understand all her conflicting feelings and what not? I think that would be another nice touch that gave this more grounding in canon.
But yes, this was another lovely chapter. My favourite bit was probably them running into each other in Hogsmeade and just walking back (and when Draco paid for her stuff) because that was lovveerrllly, but yes yes! Sorry this review swap took so long to get back to you - my life got a bit hectic :)
-ACAuthor's Response: Helen this review has just blown me away! I'm so glad that you like how its coming along and that you liked the dramione moment that I finally threw in! Its taken a long time to get to this point of actually having something dramione like and i'm just so thrilled with the reaction that it has been getting! I'm hoping sometime to go back through and look at all my reviews and suggestions that have been given and (hopefully) go back in through my chapters and add in some of them. Thank you so much for the swap! Honestly your reviews are really huge for me because I do look up to you as an author so I know I can improve by having people like you reading my stuff! Thank you so much for this wonderful review!
~Slytherinchica08~ Report Review
Hey there JChrissy!
Sorry this review took longer than the others to swap it's way back to you. Since the last review I've packed up bags and moved back home for christmas (oh dear) and been back at work and everythings just been really hectic but ack, it's lovely to come back to this story!
I think this chapter, out of all the ones I've read of yours thus far, definitely showed off your talent the best. I'm not sure what it was about it, but I think it was the smoothness and how easy it was to read combined with really latching onto poor Lily's emotions. It's the sort of thing that made me want to stay on the computer and write myself and really put me in a position of wondering how loose and... cut off I'd feel if I was in Lily's position.
And I love the beginning of the Lily/James dynamic that you have here. So often Lily/James relationships are so electric and full of drama there's no room for me to actually believe there's enough time and love there - beyond the drama - for them to get married and have a child at such a young age. I know that a lot of it was probably down to the war, but given how little time they were actually together and how Lily used to 'hate' him, I've always thought it had to something really meaningful to bring them together. Queue James helping Lily after she's just been orphaned.
Really, this was a lovely chapter and it was good to be back. Plus, the next chapter of NJAB is nearly written and I'm going to PM it to you as soon as it's done - probably before Christmas.
Thanks for writing!
-ACAuthor's Response: Now it's my turn to apologize for taking ages to respond! I'm visiting my family in Idaho and it's been super crazy.. but this review was so awesome to read again because it made me all warm fuzzy ♥
I think Lily and James are such an amazing dynamic, that I feel, like you, something would have really had to happen to show one another who the other actually is. If that makes sense. You have no idea what a big compliment it is that you think this one showed off my talent. I always feel like I'm not adding enough description or too much dialogue or blah, and this review really just made my day ♥ thank you! Report Review
I'm actually surprised and kind of relieved that I'm only three chapters behind in reviewing this story, because I really thought the situation was a lot ore dire than it currently is so that's always nice to know i'm not as far behind as I thought I was.
So, the Quidditch match was really interesting. Poor Pippa having a complete change of mind about what she was doing half way through everything. Although, this has to be one of my favourite quotes This game is really dangerous. like. it's nice for someone to acknowledge that it's a ridiculously dangerous game ahaa.
AND PROPER ALBUS/PIPPA ACTION. I really feel for Pippa though, because she reminds me of some of the darkest moments of my life and I kind of hope that in this story she begins to heal and... like Albus said, learn to fight her demons. Because aare all fightable :)
Plus, my insomnia's totally kicked up a knotch lately so I'm really feeling her wondering around semi conscious not really alive but just existing. Have you ever had insomnia problems? It just seemed pretty accurate.
Anyway, it's really nice to be caught up again! Happy the 11th of December :)
-AC Report Review
Heeyy there Keira!
So it's been a long time since I've reviewed any of your stuff, so I thought I'd stop by this one shot. The entries for this challenge always really intrigue me as I always figured I'd be incapable of doing anything with so few words, and then after I managed to write my own entry it's still so intriguing to see what someone can achieve with so few words.
And this one is really good and interesting and has that special quality of making me think about things. I often do think about this in terms of life - how we grow old, fall in love, have children, die and then that's the end and you're just a distant benefactor of genes who doesn't really exist to us... and I think you captured that really well and I'm really glad I took a read of this.
I liked the last full paragraph especially - particuarlly the details about how I spent my birthdays etc, because it's true. I very much doubt my grandchildren or great grandchildren will care about what I did now, or that I wrote fanfiction or any of the rest.
So, yeah, this was really interesting. THanks for writing!
-AC Report Review
Okay wow, you just got me right in the feels here.
So the thing I love about the Marauders is their spirit (I'm including Lily in this), because despite everything they still keep on living and trying and you know... not giving up. Because Sirius's parents hated him, his brother hated him, and Remus was a werewolf, and both Lily and James - at some point - lose every relative that they've ever had and... well along with another bunch of head canon stuff that I was writing about last night (hence why this has made me so feely, though)... and yet they still join the order and fight and get married and have children and build lives and that's amazing.
So, this chapter was mean because... well, it's got so much of the Marauder angst just under the current of it all wrapped up in this lovely family feel and oh, poor Lily and poor Sirius and well... not poor James, so much, because he as just about everything he could ever want but it's still... you know, really really sad.
But yes, this was a lovely chapter. I'm not like entirely sure of the time scale and how old any of them are at this point, but I'm assuming we'll find out a lot more about that in the next chapter so I'm not too fussed about that. Lovely!
(oh and the title is really nice too, perfect for the Marauders)
Thanks for writing!
-ACAuthor's Response: Hi :)! So first of all, I can't read Marauders while I write them. It messes with my own ideas sometimes and then I end up getting frustrated and ya. SO if you want to continue swapping and you're similar to me as in you don't love reading about what you're writing about, you are more than welcome to chose any other one shot I have! But I can't tell you how happy I was to see this review on my baby. These people... I feel the same way as you. So many terrible things, so much they suffered and it's NOT FAIR that JKR too them all away. Not one Marauder survived. And it's just not fair. I turn into a sad ball of feels when I think too much about how this eventually will end. And bah.
Yes! The next chapter does make it clear what year they are entering. But right now everyone is 17. Sirius has lived with the Potters for a year, since last summer, and he turns 18 Nov 5th (I stretched canon JUST a tiny bit and decided he was 'almost 22' when he went to Azkaban instead of 22 :P) So that's the current timeline :). Because, you know, clearly I decided that you can't wait until the next chapter to know :P
Okay. I'm super rambly tonight. I have to do laundry, so I must be avoiding that :P Thank you so much for stopping by ♥ you have no idea how happy this review made me! Report Review
Oh dear, I've been wanting to read this every time I saw it appear on your page because it just looked so delectably good that I couldn't resist the pull of it: I mean, who could say no so a possibly slightly nutty and a bit of Percy? Percy/Audrey actually has to be one of my favourite pairings ever, just because they gleam of something marvelous because well... it's got to be a hell of a woman to pull back a really quite damaged Percy Weasley and want to marry him. Ack, I just love it.
So this was a wonderful quote Stable! Ha! Stable was for horses. as was the majority of it all. Oh Audrey, with her tendency to break the statute of secrecy (easily done, I'm sure) and get banned from work for an 'enforced holiday.' Ha. I actually kind of hope that Percy is a vampire, because that would be such a great lot twist baahh.
But this chapter was every bit as good as I thought it was going to be and I genuinely don't think I can wait to read on. Six chapters? But that's so short. I just want lots of Percy!Vampire and Audrey!nutter but wel... I'm sure you'll make it perfect.
Loved it :D
-ACAuthor's Response: I've pretty disappointed with the portrayal of Audrey/Percy on the archive overall, since Audrey tends to be an even bigger stick in the mud than Percy and they are made out to be the least-fun couple of all time existing only to make George, Ginny, and Ron look like the fun adults of next gen in comparison. That was a long sentence. Anyway I just got an itch to write an Audrey who marched to the beat of her own crazy drum, dragging Percy along after her, and I'm happy with what's come out of it. Sometimes it's nice to write something totally non-serious.
Thank you for reading! Report Review
Hope you don't mind me coming back to leave you another review. Between the fact that the review you left me had me grinning for several hours and that this fic is so goey and lovely that I just want to absorb all the feels from it, I couldn't really think of any reason to stay away any longer. So here I am.
This chapter was just as lovely as the other, I think, although there was a lot more catching up and stuff in this one about Hermione's career, which I just loved all over. I mean, sometimes that much background information can be a bit overwhelming, but the whole thing just made me grin like Crooky with cream (see what I did there? ;) ) especially as you threw in some absolute gems like this.
"some human witch was fighting their corner that there were now many baby house-elves named 'Hermione' – or at least, some variation on the name; 'Moany' and 'Ninny' being unfortunately most prevalent. Hermione found this very embarrassing; Ron and Harry found it hilarious." Oh dear, that literally just slayed me. Honestly, so funny and beautiful and bittersweet.
So, Hermione and Ron aren't married yet? Huh, maybe that's one of the announcements. I'm second guessing you here. Then again, she's not feeling too great so maybe she's pregnant. And Ron was precious! Oh dear, I just love everything about this and a so excited about reading onwards and finding out more about my favourite gathering of Weasleys.
Thanks for writing!
-ACAuthor's Response: Hi hi! I'm so sorry this reply is hideously late!
Aw, well I'm glad I had you grinning! And that this chapter then made you all gooey - I hope that's a good thing :P
Yeah, I didn't really like doing all of that 'catching-up' stuff, but it needed to be done and I hope I've made it as natural as possible. Teehee, I love that bit about the house-elve too.
Hmm, yes indeed, Ron likes it but has not put a ring on it! I like that you're guessing... read on, you may find answers ;)
Thanks for your review!
Athene xo Report Review
Okay, so everyone else was reading this story and I wasn't sure I could resist the urge to come and hit this up too.
I've hardly read any of your work, I don't think, so first I have to say that your style is every bit as lovely as I was expecting it to be. This was so easy to read and smooth and nice that I feel like I could happily read this whole story in one stint, but I was expecting that.
I've seen this story around quite a bit in the recently added and stuff, and I've got to say that the most interesting bit about it was the idea of a washed up Viktor. I think it's because he was thrust into the limelight as such a young age, it's hard to map out a course of his life after an early career and the war and the chip that he quite obviously carries on his shoulder without seeing it end in some sort of inane mess. And the relationship with Rose... gah, I just really want to know how that's going to pan out and what everyone has to say about it. I know it's bad, but it just smacks of so much drama and - oddly - you already have me slightly behind it through this first chapter. I think it probably is because of Krum's reaction to Rose being mentioned, and... welll, I really just want to be a fly on the walll and watch it all transpire and crumble.
Anyway, this was definitely an intriguing first chapter that leaves me really wanting to read the rest of this, so I suspect I shall be returning to this story every shortly :)
-ACAuthor's Response: I won't lie, it was such a nice treat to see that you'd tagged me for the review swap. Clearly, you're a bit of a writing bigwig around here (congrats on reaching #10, by the way), and I'm actually a little embarrassed that this was the chapter you read. I really don't think it's my best by any stretch, though I'm really glad there were some bits and pieces that caught your eye.
What you said about Krum was exactly what I was thinking when I started plotting this story. All that fame and pressure at such a young age. Once his playing days are over, there's real potential for collapse, and what has he got to fall back on? And I'm so glad that even with the pairing being odd, there was enough in this chapter to give you pause in thinking that it *might* actually work. It's meant to be shocking, but only to everyone else. To them, it's just love... sort of.
Thanks so much for taking a look and leaving such a nice review :) Report Review
Hulllo there Sally!
This is a really interesting start and i'm kind of wondering whether you're going to stick with the quasi-fairytale start for the rest of this story. I thinnk it worked pretty well in this chapter and added quite a lot to the basis of the story, I kind of thinl that if it was written like this for an extended period it would be difficult to follow. This chapter though, I really liked.
I really like the name Ivy. I know that's sort of irrelevant, but I do really like it.
Anyways! This is a really interesting start to a story and I'm really intrigued to see where you're going to go with it, so maybe I'll be checking for another chapter soon enough :)
-AC Report Review
Hullo there Val!
So this was so cute that I nearly died. Honestly, washing cats in cupboards and being a bottle and a really young Louis was just cute cute cute cute cute.
I thought you sustained his young narration really way throughout and I could well believe the age you had down for him, especially as pudding for a motivation and Victoire as the piece's villainous siblings (there's always one). I've always thought that Dom/Louis would get on much better than the other pair, so this was almost entirely in line with my head canon.
There was one mistake here What tan I do to help you now, Domi? . Just a little typo, but I thought I'd point it out so you can fix it up :)
Lovely little one shot and I really really enjoyed it! Thanks for writing something so sugary sweet and lovely :D
-ACAuthor's Response: I had a complete fangirl moment when I saw your review on this story -- the embarrassing, ohmygodTHEacrulesreviewedmystory kind of moment, but anyway.
Thank you for this review, it means much more than you can imagine! :)
As for the mistake, it was actually voluntary, seeing as Louis is only 3, so I'm not sure if I'll leave it there or not, but in any case thanks for pointing it out! Report Review
Hulllo there! Here to return your christmas review swap :)
For a start, the bit about Audrey giving a drink to that guy... well, I don't think I'm going to be getting over how brilliant that was for a really really long time. Honestly, as soon as I realised what she'd done I was genuinely laughing and... ah, she has a great sense of humour and seems like a great chapter!
I love good ol' Percy (such an underrated character!) and it was hard to see him seem so... down and insecure about everything. Although I missed some of the pompous elements of his character that I would have liked to see at some point, in the interest of keeping him in keeping with the version of Percy we saw last.
Really nice first chapter! Enjoyed it :)
-ACAuthor's Response: Hi!
Awww! Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it! That probably is my favourite bit in the chapter, besides the end of course, but thank you! I'm glad you found it funny!
I actually wrote him to purposely be quite depressed in this first chapter, because I want to show the readers how low he starts, in comparison to how he finishes in the end. And don't worry, usual pompous Percy will surface. I just wanted to show to readers a different side of his personality before I let him go back to how everyone is used to seeing him as.
But thank you for the lovely review! It made my day, and gee, what a day it has been.
- Abhi Report Review
So, one of the main woes for a unreliable fanfiction reader is that moment when you look back at a story and go WHERE THE HELL WAS I??!? And it takes you a could ten minutes of reading the beginning of chapters to find out the bit you actually need to read to be caught up. And to find that I'm... still 5 chapters behind was quite alarming.
New years resolution: keep up with reading stories.
SO. QUOTES. Because it's you.
Where it was kind of weird before, it was definitely weird now, as if pointing it out turned the weirdness into a real-life embodiment of weird that attached to them like a third wheel. Oh gosh, this this this is something that I want to say in real life whenever things get a bit... well... weird . So good.
"whether wands were legal cue sticks "
Gina you are a GENIUS. Seriously seriously seriously seriously, lovvve ittt.
"Kinda feels like I fell on my face."
Anyways, it's really really good to be back for the heists on sugar, and I'm excited about this love turn that's allegedly coming into play (no idea who and why I'm shipping at this point, I'm going to stay emotional unattached and just watch it all HAPPEN. Pretty sure i'm pro Fred/Anjali though). ALSO I love you and everything you write. Additionally, even thinking about this story and the stuff about buiscuits lead to me deciding it was time to eat more food so there you go. RL effect of capers. Indead.
Happy December 8th!
-ACAuthor's Response: TRIALS OF SEARCHING THROUGH MUGGLE STUDIES I KNOW THIS WELL.
When you can start /feeling/ the weird, that's when you know it's bad. It's actually sitting on the sidelines laughing at you, that's what it's doing. An adjective is laughing at you.
You have to wonder about all the awesome muggle games that wizards can't play because everyone would cheat.
LURVE BREAKS OUT IN THE THIRD QUARTER. Omg Capers must be a nutritional nightmare, I am told it causes sugar rushes and now it causes you to eat more food. I should warn people on diets or something /don't read my fic/. This is now a legitimate concern.
Hee ♥ HAPPY DECEMBER 9TH! Report Review
So, I'm a big sucker for anything Marauders. Want to make me happy whilst attacking my feels? Just present me with a Jily mid war with a side dash of Sirius (who was great for the line he was in here, loved it). This made me want to reach out and give both of them a hug, poor dears, and I've always thought that that must have been one of the worst things about the phrophecy - not knowing whether or not it was your baby or your friends, and really hoping it was your friends. So I'm really glad that you brought that up and hilighted that.
And James with his father talk was just so adorbs that I haven't recovered yer (and probably won't for a reaall long time).
Thanks for writing!
-ACAuthor's Response: Thank you for such a lovely review! :) Yes, James' father talk was very cute, and I had such fun writing it, because I always thought that Lily fell in love with him, because he had this secret soft side, so I tried to display this here :) Thank you again! :) Report Review
Ack ack ack ack ack, this was just so lovely because its so full of Weasley goodness and it was just so goey and beautiful and I loved it to pieces! So five grandchildren at current... that would be... I'm going to guess this right, I swear. Molly (Mop is the cutest baby name ever ), Victoire, Dom, Louis, Fred and...er... maybe. Oh, I honestly have no idea. I guess I'll find our when I read on.
Characteristaion was just perfect and I'm so glad that you mentioned Fred and the bittersweetness surrounding that, and Percy being all happy now is lovely. And, for the record, this has got to be one of my favourite lines ever " except for giving the odd sermon on 'employing efficient sleeping and feeding patterns in the infant, in order to produce optimal childhood behaviour'" . LOVE IT! And I've always loved the prospect of Molly and Lucy - they're never loved enough in fanfiction.
But, two announcements? It's got to be two more pregnancies? Ack, this is exciting. I love this and it's made me feel oh so goey.
-ACAuthor's Response: AC, I'm so sorry it has taken me ages to respond to this lovely review! Life. Urgh. Why can't we all just stay home and HPFF all day? :(
Mm, gooey Weasley goodness! Best sort of goo. You've nearly got the grandchildren right! It's actually:
Victoire, Dom, Mop, James and Fred. But yes, read on my dear! Read on!
Fred is certainly a presence throughout this fic, and I didn't want it to be all sad whenever he's mentioned. He was such a joyful person, so he'll continue to bring people joy even in death.
Yay, you picked one of my favourite lines! Percy will always be Percy, just perhaps a bit more relaxed and happy. We can thank Audrey for that, I think.
Thanks for the review!
AG x Report Review
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