I am going to start off by saying that you are an amazing storyteller. I've read quite a few stories on this site and this is by far the best. It really shocks me that this story isn't on the best-of lists and I'm so happy that I just happened along this story the other day. The story was executed perfectly. There was new information, forward motion and gut wrenching turns in every chapter, but it was never over done. Every bit of information that you put into this story, big or small, connected by the end. And I congratulate you for that. The fact that you planned this story out so well, is a mark of a great writer. This is a story I would pay for. I still can't get over the fact that you had me feeling somewhat bad for Benjamin when he was supposedly destroyed. However, when he reappeared it was devastating. I haven't felt hatred for a character in a very long time. And bravo on the creation of Marta. What a tragically flawed and doomed character. One can't help but fall for her. One more thing...it takes a lot of courage for a writer to create an unhappy ending for the characters that they have created and grown to love. You get used to reading happy endings on this site and this one just came up and sucker punched me. I feel tricked and duped and let down but yet so satisfied that I read a quality piece of writing. My hat goes off to you and I hope you feel proud of what you have accomplished. I hope more people get a chance to read this and enjoy the work you have done. Kudos, my dear. I will be thinking of this story for many days to come.Author's Response: Thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you! I'm glad this story caught your attention and I'm honored that you think I'm a great writer! One of my goals when writing is to leave clues for readers to either figure out during the first read or to be amazed that they missed them the second time around.
Benjamin is probably one of my favorite characters I've ever created simply because of his evil nature. And when writing Marta, I always kept in mind that she was the product of Benjamin's manipulation. While I loved both characters, I knew only one could be victorious in the end. So while this story ends sadly, it's a happy ending for Benjamin who got everything he wanted.
It's great to hear you enjoyed this story so much. I am happy with what I wrote and proud that I actually finished a project of this length. Thank you for your kind words and sharing how much you enjoyed it as well. Report Review
I can't remember the last time I read a first chapter with so much potential! I honestly can't wait to read the rest. I love the idea you have here. I can't wait to see why Marta sees Benjamin and what his purpose is. Also, it was very well written and the dialogue and narrative flowed together well. This story is very intriguing indeed.Author's Response: I'm flattered you think so highly of this story based on this first chapter! Everything is now posted for you to enjoy at your leisure. Thanks for reviewing and enjoy! Report Review
When you said not many more to go now, I thought you meant more than one! I was not prepared for this story to be over with yet. But it was a nice ending. Very peaceful and resolving. But I couldn't fully enjoy it because I didn't want it to end. You created a fabulous story that is hard to come across on this site. I hope that you keep on writing because you really do have a true talent. Good luck in the future!!!
*10/10*Author's Response: Ohh, I'm so tempted to write more! I'm suffering withdrawl symptoms. Hahah. I can't think of any ideas for a sequel though and there are other stories that I'd like to finish first.
I'm glad you enjoyed it! Thank you so much for all of your amazing reviews. They've been a pleasure to read :) All the best for the New Year!
x Laura Report Review
I've been waiting for you to update for forever now. And you didn't disappoint! I'm glad everyone is alright and that jackass is locked away. It makes me sad that there is not that many to go. This is one of my favorite stories on here.
*10/10*Author's Response: Hahah, I like how you put Rostmas as "that jackass" :D Aww, thank you! One of your favourites? Well I'm INCREDIBLY flattered. Report Review
Um, yea. When the the blood fell on Jasper's shirt and they found Leon and Audrey, I seriously had to stop myself from screaming. My blood ran cold and I was on the verge of tears. You would make a great screen writer. Your words have a vivid image in them. You should seriously think about it. Absolutely amazing. This is definitely one of my favorite stories. You are very talented and I can't wait to read more!Author's Response: Woah, so when I read the "Um, yea" my heart just sank. I was like "ohmygoodness, she hated it!" but then I read on :)
THANKS! That is a flippin massive compliment. a screen writer? I'd love that. Thank you so much for all of your amazing and wonderful reviews! They've been such a pleasure to read and respond to. I'm going to try to update again soon, but school starts back in a few days. Oh well, fingers crossed. And again, thanks! :) Report Review
This chapter was AMAZING. Right off the bat you made my heart sink into my stomach when James' dad died. Then you made me stop breathing when that crazy stalker fellow sent that message. Honestly amazing in every sense. I have a feeling that Lulah and Jasper are getting tricked into meeting Rostom and their aunt and uncle are actually safe, but thats just me. And this is my thought. If I were Jasper or Lulah I would definitely go to Dumbledore. You only have the greatest wizard of all time living in the same castle as you. But that's what I would do. Maybe Dumbledore is busy fighting Voldemort or something. Anyways, amazing chapter! You're doing a great job!Author's Response: Amazing? And in capitals too :P Thank you very much! I think you're very clever... maybe they are being tricked, maybe they're not.. hehe. Jasper and Lulah, they're a bit silly- clearly not as clever as you. Hahah, they SHOULD have gone to Dumbledore. Thank you once again, so so much! Report Review
I'm so relieved that I finally know how her parents died. It really brings everything into perspective. The whole telling of the story had a real creepy and high-stakes kind of feel to it. It was really good and even though I knew that Rostom killed her parents you surprised me by how you did it. I kind of felt like I was watching a movie and that's definitely a compliment. Fabulous, wonderful, marvelous job!Author's Response: I took long enough to tell you, hey. But I felt that Lulah wouldn't just spill all that to Sirius... she had to wait until she really trusted him... so I hope people sort of get the build in relationship between them :)
Yay! I'm so glad that bit worked for you- unbelivably happy in fact. That's such a relief! Thank you so so much! Report Review
Oh, that was a nasty thing to do. It's a good thing I can go read the next chapter right away. The chemistry that you have between Lulah and Sirius is great. It's not to cheesy but it's not dull and boring either. And I haven't brought this up yet, but I love how you portray Peter. A lot of writers make him just laughable and stupid or just leave him out completely, but I'm a full believer that he needs to be part of the story and you definitely do that. Great job and great chapter!Author's Response: Hehe, it was just a little bit nasty... I'll admit it. Yes! I hate it when writer's cut Peter out, so I was determined not to. I'm so pleased you picked up on that ;) Thanks. Report Review
Everyone needs to have a little fluff in their story. I really enjoyed the snowball fight. It made me laugh just imagining it. Coming from the snowy state of Wisconsin, I can appreciate a good snowball fight. Marvelous job as always! I hope it keeps getting better!Author's Response: I certainly have a 'bit of fluff' :) Oh gosh, I've never seen the snow. I guess I'll just have to come to Wisconsin some time! Thanks once more... ;) Report Review
Very romantic. I like how he mentioned him being an animagus as a side note. I really, really like this story and I like it more and more as I read on. But I'm really curious to find out exactly how her parents died. Excellent as always!Author's Response: Aww, romantic :) Everybody loves a bit of romance. Thanks again for reviewing! Report Review
OH MY GAWD!! I definitely did not expect that! I hope he has a good reason for doing that. That was an excellent chapter! I loved the nightmare/dream. It was weird and twisted and heartbreaking. Very good writing. Now I must read on and see what happens next!Author's Response: I ALMOST wrote that he was like "it's okay babe, I love you..." hahah, but then I decided that was lame. Haha, don't hate me too much! Report Review
Mmm...I wonder what's going to happen when Sirius finds out about Lulah. I'm becoming very addicted to this story which is good on your part but it's definitely bad for the homework I'm supposed to be doing write now. Anyways, keep up the good work and great job as always!Author's Response: lol, sorry about your homework ;) good luck with that hahah. Thank you very muchly! Report Review
I don't think I've ever read a Sirius with such insecurities and convictions. I find it absolutely fabulous and fascinating. A marvelous and remarkable job! It just makes me wish that my boyfriend could be half as romantic. I'm might be a little jealous right now...Author's Response: THANK YOU! I'm over the moon that you like my version of Sirius. Oh goodness, I wish mine could be a QUARTER as romantic :P Hahah, thanks again! Report Review
You mean they're not crazy, un-realistic, sparkling vampires too? Not that any vampire is realistic, but I'm not going to go off on that tangent. I love the story, as usual. And I'm glad that Lulah and Jasper are finally deciding to let go and have some real fun. Keep up the good work!Author's Response: They're not! I know, I know, it's a shame... Haha. Thanks once again :) I find that I'm running out of things to say. Haha, thanks :) Report Review
I did a lot of head shaking in this chapter. Lots of laughing but also many shakes of the head. I can't believe Jasper got to kiss Sirius before Lulah did. I still can't believe they kissed. Drunken teens and their damn hormones! Just kidding. The sexual tension between Sirius and Lulah is at an all time high and it seems like it's about to break. I can't wait to read more!Author's Response: Head shaking and 'tsk-ing', I imagine :P Hahaha. Jasper and Sirius... I don't even know why I wrote that. Haha, I guess I just felt like it. Yay for sexual tension :) Thanks for reviewing. Report Review
I knew that Rostom was going to be no good. The name just sounds evil. I like these little flashbacks of her life. It's not too much at once, but enough to keep me interested to learn more. Great job!Author's Response: Ooh, Rostam. What an evil beast. Oh, do you like the name? Haha, I thought it was quite a cool one. Haha, thanks again! Report Review
What I wonderful chapter! I love the chemistry between Sirius and Lullah. It's so passionate and real. And you make me laugh, for real laugh, which makes me look insane but I don't care. I'm not sure why but I can't help but feel bad for Snape during the Potions class. He's barely mentioned but I can only imagine him having to share a table with Lily and Sirius. It's very cruel, fabulous, but cruel. Wonderful job as always!Author's Response: Yay! I'm glad it makes you laugh- especially when I'm really worried no one else will find it funny :P Thanks! Report Review
A jealous Sirius = funny moments, in my book. Great job as always. I can't wait to see if these two get together or what. But I'm definitely looking forward to see what happens next!Author's Response: Good old Sirius :) Thanks again! Report Review
Very, very nice. I love the dynamics between Lulah and Jasper. You can feel the familial connection. I just love the way you write. Your words play like a movie in my mind and I can't thank you enough for that. It's refreshing to find something like this again on this site. I find that I hold my breath while I'm reading because I'm anxious to get to the next sentence. Fabulous job!!Author's Response: I lvoe reading your reviews. They maketh me smile :) Like a movie? Gah! That's axactly what I wanted to happen!! Yay! I feel so accomplished. Oh gosh, thank you so so so much! x Report Review
Ooh, very nice chapter. It's nice to know what Lulah and Jasper are now. Very original. She's falling hard for Sirius but I wonder if she will let it on. Very interesting. Great job!Author's Response: Original? Yes! That's got to be one of the biggest compliments for me. Thanks for your lovely reviews! :) Report Review
The way you write Sirius, it would be hard for any girl to stay a way. I still can't wait to find out what Lulah and Jasper are. It's very interesting so far.Author's Response: I'm so pleased you like my Sirius. I'm rather fond of him too. Hahaha, thanks again! Report Review
I love the way you described the Marauders. It was perfectly done. And I'm definitely interested to find out more about Lulah and this fire thing she has going on. Great job as usual!Author's Response: There's plenty more to read ;) I just added chapter 20. I'm working on 21 now. Hehe. Report Review
Just to let you know, your story is so good that it's keeping me interested at 4:30 AM. That's definitely a hard thing to do.Author's Response: 4:30AM? Are you insane. Hahah, yay! Thanks so much for your reviews. Report Review
I'm really glad I stumbled upon this story. I had a feeling that I liked it even before I clicked the link to read it. It's very well written and I'm already attached to both your OCs. That's really a feat. I look forward to reading more of this and hopefully it stays this well written.Author's Response: Hehe, you liked it even before you clicked the link? Aw, shucks! I'm glad you're enjoying it so far! Thanks. Report Review
I hope Sirius isn't too much like Henry VIII because old Hank the 8th had syphilis. What I terrible play to do. Henry slept with both the Boelyin sisters and if he would have stuck with Mary he would have gotten his heir cause she had his son but the son couldn't be named heir because Hank and Mary were not married and the kid was a bastard child. That's why Hank married Anne, cause he got her knocked up while he was still married to Catherine, who by the way, spent the rest of her life condemned in a tower. Sorry about my rant. I could go on forever. I just really hate Henry VIII. But I do really like your story. Keep up the good work.Author's Response: I know, Henry the VIII wasn't well... he wasn't a very nice man. I don't plan to make Sirius TOO much like him, just slightly with the whole 'playboy' thing but I'm not planning to have Sirius do EXACTLY the same things as Henry.
I'm not a fan of Henry the VIII myself but I really liked the way I could use him as a bad example, to make Sirius realise what he's doing wrong... kind of a way to discover who you are, if that makes sense.
Thanks for the review!
x Report Review
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