Reading Reviews From Member: Joanne K
  
235 Reviews Found

Review #26, by Joanne KLife is a Dream: I

25th October 2008:
I'm not exactly sure how you managed to get this through validation (or are you a Trusted Author?) because I think you'll find that forced/ arranged marriages are against the ToS. Also, I'm pretty sure that spousal abuse is against the ToS too, although since you didn't graphically portray the abuse you might be okay there.

The story idea is interesting, but I thought it was a bit out of character that Hermione would agree to date Malfoy in the first place even if she did think he had changed sides. I also think that it was a bit out of character for her friends to abandon her (Ron I can understand, and maybe even Harry, but I think Ginny would stick by her). Of course that is just my opinion and you can take it or leave it.

On a technical note, your spelling and grammar is good and your imagery isn't bad.

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Review #27, by Joanne KKeeping my distance: Nightmares

25th October 2008:
Fantastic imagery! Your use of description, particularly in your opening, was just superb. You really drew me in and allowed me to feel as though I was there. Your spelling and grammar was perfect from what I could tell, and your word use was masterful. You have the makings of a great writer. 10/10

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Review #28, by Joanne KHARRY POTTER AND THE MYSTERIES UNVEILED: In the Mousetrap

25th October 2008:
Oh! Such an exciting chapter!

The inclusion of Aberforth and the painting passageway were obviously influenced by DH - I wonder what your original plans had been for them to get into the RoR, or had you not planned that far ahead when DH came out?

I did pick up on a few mistakes (mostly typos):

"I solemnly declare that I'm up to now good" - you said 'now' instead of 'no'.

"On the other hand, he absence of Ginny's" - you missed the 't' in 'the'.

"A door, which appeared to have come from the paining, flanged open" - it should read 'flung' rather than 'flanged'.

"Oh, well, we better go an' fetch her," Harry concluded. - I think you meant to say 'Hagrid concluded'.

I felt so sorry for poor Molly, those kids will be the death of her one day - they cause her so much worry!

The ending was definitely thrilling and an enticing cliffhanger - Umbridge has Malfoy!! Oh no!

Author's Response: Thanks so much Jo!

I took ages with this chapter as I never seem to like it as much as the others, then last night I decided that I had to post it even if it killed me before going on holiday. I stayed up very late and I was probably just too tired. I even spotted myself errors that you haven't but I'm going to get onto this now. I was just too tired to be honest. Thanks for spotting some. I just thought that it would be nice to have some reviews when I came back because I don't know if I'm going to have much internet connection.

Yes, I worked out quite a few things, the main storylines primarily and the ending before DH but not all the details. That has become the hardest part, to chose to stay canon or to depart from it. There will be a bit of both. Yes, Aberforth's inclusion was totally borrowed from DH.

Molly, well, yes, the trio and Ginny are always involved in something dangerous, Percy is supposed to be a traitor. I would seem that the twins are giving her less grief than the rest, for a change. lol

Malfoy and Umbridge, well it should be interesting.

Thanks so much and thanks for spotting all the typos etc. Very much appreciated.


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Review #29, by Joanne KHARRY POTTER AND THE MYSTERIES UNVEILED: Ways and Means

25th October 2008:
I definitely reviewed this chapter before the review crash, and since I wanted to refresh my memory of this chapter before reading your new chapter I figured I may as well leave another review to replace the one that was lost.

Your development of Draco's character is very well done, I particularly liked his interactions with Hermione, they were very believable in the way you had them speaking to each other.

Father Sean, of course I just love your development of his character.

I thought it was great how you included Hannah Abbott's father as the new owner of the pub, now that we know that JKR intends for her to become a pub owner herself in the future - it was a nice little tie in.

I thought you POV changes worked well and were not at all confusing to the reader.

How exciting that Harry now knows the object belonging to Ravenclaw!!! Using the Mirror of Erised was a great idea. I can't wait to read the next chapter and see what happens.

Author's Response: Thanks so much, Jo, for re-reviewing this. Yes, it was such a pain to lose all these reviews, although my sympathy goes to the authors who lost all of theirs because they stories were newer.

I'm so glad that you thought that the interaction between Draco and Hermione was realistic. Hermione is the practical type, so getting the job done is her main concern. Now, Draco, to me, almost feels like he needs to justify to himself why he is willing to help Harry, almost as he is slightly ashamed of being the good guy and starts saying to himself that he needs Harry's help and that for that reason he needs to help him in turn.

Father Sean is proving very popular which makes me extremely happy because I love this character.

As the story progresses, I'm "borrowing" more and more elements from DH. I had the outline of my story worked out before DH was published but not all the details. I'm finding it particularly hard to decide whether to depart completely or to accommodate canon elements which I couldn't have known about when I started. When I do accomodate them they are normally just for details of the story rather than for the main plot. I thought that since Rosemerta had been under the imperius curse, she probably wouldn't be trusted, plus she could do with a rest and then I thought, that's it, Hannah's father would fit into this well.

I'm glad that my many points of view don't come across as confusing. A lot of people prefer one point of view alone but I decided to use the third person omminiscent because of the freedom that it gives you to cover the thoughts of various characters.

Ravenclaw's quill yes. By the way, when you first reviewed this chapter you were surprised that I used a "quilt" lol This was in fact a typoi and I was in stitches thinking about something like a patchwork ederdown or something. Of course, Harry now will have to process the information that the book has given him in terms of working out who is trying to help him. It's pretty obvious but he can be very stubborn too, so let's see if he will come to his senses eventually.

Thanks so much for this.


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Review #30, by Joanne KShow Me the Way: Show Me the Way

13th October 2008:
This was a lovely little filler piece. I think you described Harry's actions/thoughts well when he was wearing the locket, as we know how the locket made them feel. The song lyrics worked so well with the piece, you worked them together with the storyline perfectly. I loved the little details you added in, like hearing Hermione's breathing in the tent, it really helped set the scene. Well done!

Author's Response: Thank you so much for a lovely review. I'm glad you liked the little details. I try to use them to really set the tone of the story. Thanks for taking the time to read and review!

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Review #31, by Joanne KSeeing Red: Seeing Red

13th October 2008:
Red is my favourite colour, so when I saw this one-shot I just had to read it. It was so beautifully written - full of emotion and vivid descriptions. I loved how it was Remus speaking to Tonks, not to us or anyone else, but to his love. I almost felt as though I was an intruder on a private conversation, because it really did feel as though he was speaking his deepest inner-most thoughts to her and that what he was expressing was for her ears only. It was so incredibly sweet and heartfelt. You have a gift for writing, I especially liked all the subtle incorporations of the colour red throughout the piece, they were woven throughout it so subtly. Really it was just beautiful.

Author's Response: Hi Jo :) Thanks so much for coming to review this story! I've always liked the cooler colors (purple or blue) but as soon as I decided on the pairing of Remus/Tonks, I knew I had to choose red. It's such a perfect color to describe Remus - his anger at having the world turn its back to him, the blood on his arm after getting bitten by Fenrir, and eventually the passion he feels for Tonks. This was like a very private conversation between him and his wife, like a final letter or the last time they ever spoke. I'm so happy that you enjoyed this! I really appreciate your feedback :)

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Review #32, by Joanne KDefining Moments: Harry Potter: The Truth At Last

10th October 2008:
Oh wow! I finally found the time to read this and I am left speechless! I think this is definitely your best writing to date. It was just so powerful. The detail you poured into this was phenomenal. And I'm not just talking about the research you did on the psychology and age regression and the Sumerian Gods, but also the detail of Harry's feelings, thoughts and emotions.

On a technical side, I loved that this was written in first person, it was so different to your novel, but I felt as a reader I could really get inside Harry's head. You did such a brilliant job of channeling his character and his voice. I did notice one or two minor spelling errors, but I was so engrossed in the story, I barely even noticed them.

I'm wondering if this has a lot of bearing on your novel, as it seems to relate quite a bit to your story line, but I guess I'll have to wait to find out!

Really fantastic job on this, Vicky. It really blew me away.

Author's Response: Wow, I feel so flattered. I think this is probably my favourite piece out of what I have written so far. I love Harry and I thought it would be interesting to write this in first person, and this was my first attempt at this. I made life a bit complicated for myself insofar as I had to put myself in his shoes at 18, 7, 5 and fifteen months. I'm glad that his voice came across well, that was one of my main worries, to be honest. Perhpas he is a little formal but in canon he doesn't get to be the narrator so I thought an 18 year old could easily narrate in that way.

I'll have to re-read this again and see if I can stop the errors. I never manage to spot them all no matter how I try.

Now, as for my novel. Well, the idea of using age regression is something I had in mind even prior to DH, and also the idea of using Cecilia in this capacity, so yes there will be strong similarities. As for Harry being a Horcrux well, I would ruin it for you if I told you but you have probably guessed anyway. The final encounter between Harry and Voldy will be trigger by something slightly different so there are certain differences. I just couldn't complicate the plot any more in one chapter (even if a huge chapter!) Of course in this story the ending is left open. It is suggested that Harry may die but it isn't definite.

Thanks so much babe! x


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Review #33, by Joanne KGood Girls Go To Heaven, Bad Girls Go Everywhere: Pixie Gooseberries

10th October 2008:
I just loved this chapter, it was just so well written and witty. Your characterisations were fantastic, for both Min and her two friends. I loved the interaction between Min and Leeanne at the beginning. Min is just so deliciously naughty, so unlike the Minerva we know, which makes it quite funny to read. You have a real talent for wit in your writing, there were some brilliant one-liners, my favourite was probably this one:

"...the creepy caretaker who took great pride in the fact he hadn't washed since 1912. "

I laughed out loud for that one. I thoroughly enjoyed reading this whole chapter, and I honestly couldn't fault a single thing.

Author's Response: Thank you so much for taking the time to stop by and review this. And I do apologise that it has taken so long for me to respond.

I'm so pleased you loved this chapter and thank you for your kind words of praise. I'm so glad you think the characteristations were good, that's always a great thing to hear. Min is such a contrast to Minerva that I was concerned that it would be too much of a contrast, so I'm glad you liked the difference.

I'm so pleased you like the one-liners, I do worry that at times my humour is maybe too random, so it's good to know it made you laugh.

Thank you so much for such a fantastic review!


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Review #34, by Joanne KThrice Defied: Hear, hear

10th October 2008:
So sweet! Your descriptions in this chapter were just fantastic, it was easy to picture the scene as though I was there. I love how Lily had wanted to have the wedding in Petunia's garden, but Petunia didn't even know, it was a nice little detail. I really just loved this whole wedding scene (though it was so different from the James and Lily wedding in my own fic), I really liked your take on it.

Author's Response: I really worked hard on this scene. I was using it to practice for a wedding in my other story, but it really took on a life of its own.

Thanks for reading!


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Review #35, by Joanne KThrice Defied: The End of an Era

10th October 2008:
Cute opening chapter. It was nice seeing Dumbledore having such a big part in James and Lily's big day. It was sweet too that Petunia was there and she actually seems genuinely pleased for her sister. You described Lily's dress beautifully, I could picture it in my mind. Your spelling and grammar were both good, so I really don't have any criticisms to give. It was a lovely introduction to the story.

Author's Response: I think Lily and Petunia used to be very good friends as well as sisters. Despite their differences, I don't think Petunia would stay apart from Lily on such a big day for her.

I'm glad you enjoyed it.


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Review #36, by Joanne KA Fateful Talk Before The Battle Of Doom: How Could She Do That?

9th October 2008:
Well it was most certainly full of all the many cliches lol. I was waiting for you to mention something about the head boy and girl sharing a dorm. It is always fun to read fics that parody all those tired fanfic cliches. It certainly gave me a few laughs. The only criticism I can make is that perhaps you could have developed it a bit more as it is currently fairly simple and mostly just Rose and Scorpius relating everything to each other. There is potential to add in some descriptive humour as well as verbal humour.

Author's Response: Yeah, I know. I didn't spend too much time with the story, so I just write it how it came to me, and I always write the dialogues best...so I guess that's why it's like this.
I really wanted to mention Head Girl/Boy and the dormitory thing, but I couldn't see how would it fit in there...
Thanks for the review and CC. :)


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Review #37, by Joanne KSmile: Smile

9th October 2008:
I think you captured Tonks wonderfully in this one-shot, you characterised her really well. I could definitely imagine Tonks feeling so insecure and angry while she was pregnant and Lupin was away. I think you did a fantastic job capturing Tonks's emotions, I felt really connected to her hurt and pain. Your descriptions were well written and really made me feel as though I was there. Your spelling and grammar seemed to be flawless. So well done, a great piece of writing.

Author's Response: Oh, thank you so much for this lovely review! I'm so happy you think I've characterized Tonks well. I rarely write from her perspective, but it really felt like I've gone to her head this time and I'm glad everyone's pleased with the outcome. :D

As for the spelling and grammar - oh, this is really a compliment! I usually pay more attention to it since English is not my first language and it's so good to hear that all that re-reading and an occasional consulting with a dictionary was not in vain.

Again, thank you so much for the encouraging review. I appreciate it immensely!


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Review #38, by Joanne KSnowball Armistice: Snowball Armistice

8th October 2008:
Such a sweet little one-shot. I thought it was nice reading about Narcissa following the war, as it is not something we usually see, most post-war fics focus on the younger generation like Draco and Harry.

I liked your take on how Narcissa changed after the war, and I thought it was heart-warming to see her reconcile with her sister. I also thought it was interesting having Lucius becoming a hermit, unable to leave his own home and unable to be left alone. I liked that characterisation of him post-war.

I did notice a few errors that I want to mention. The first is simply a tying error:

"balls of snow piled on tope of each other" should read "top" rather than "tope".

I also noticed in the letter Narcissa receives it sends greetings to "Narcissa Black", should it not read "Narcissa Malfoy"? It seems strange that the letter would refer to her maiden name even though she has been married for around 20 years.

Another line that struck me as odd was this: "Teddy was the last Black, the end of the line." It sounds as though she is saying that Teddy is the last Black left to carry on the Black legacy, yet Draco is still alive so that does not make sense.

Anyway, that's the end of my nitpicking. I did enjoy reading your take on Narcissa after the war. It was a lovely piece.

Author's Response: Thank you very much for your review. I've read some of your chapters, and I know you like this family, also. So your remarks are doubly appreciated.

I imagined Lucius as having suffered the most, while having the least resiliance. He was, after all, a middle aged man who saw his life turned over, prison, torture, humiliation, and barely escaping with his life. So I imagined him taking to his bed with PTSD and taking a while to recover. (I see Draco, being younger, as more resiliant; and Narcissa as simply tougher than her husband. And I don't think she suffered to the degree he did.)

The "Narcissa Black" address was intentional. I imagined a Ministry functionary, knowing the nature of the letter, unable to bring him/herself to write the hated Death-Eater Malfoy name and simply addressing it to "Mrs. Malfoy" using her maiden name.

The reference to Teddy as the last of the line was, maybe, unclear. The point was that he was the only Black of his generation. (Draco and Nymphadora being cousins.) Scorpius does not yet exist. When I go back to fix that typo (thank you: I always miss something), I should probably take another look at that section.

Thank you very much for your kind review. I am very glad you enjoyed the piece.


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Review #39, by Joanne KA Cautionary Tale: The Only Chapter

8th October 2008:
lol so utterly stupid and so utterly hilarious! I loved all the hated and overused cliches you managed to shove into this parody. "Curves in all the right places" lol. And the Shakespeare references and Shakespeare names for all the OCs - loved it.

I have to say my favourite line that made me split my sides with laughter was the line about the Sorting Hat putting Albus and Rose in Slytherin and Scorpius in Gryffindor just to "mess" with their parents. Lucky I wasn't eating at the time or I'm sure I would have spat it all over the computer screen when I burst out laughing.

Probably the main thing I didn't like about this fic was the swearing, I felt you overdid it a little bit, but that's just me, I'm not a big fan of the 'F-word' anyway so it started feeling overused to me in the end.

Overall I enjoyed reading this fic, it was a truly ridiculous, but funny one-shot.

Author's Response: Thanks for your review! "Curves in all the right places" is my little homage to April Fools this year. ^_^ If I was the sorting hat (which I now realize is a bizarre sentiment, imagining being a hat, of all thigns), I'd totally try to freak kids' parents out and mess up Slytherin legacies and such. Sorry about the swearing...I guess I got a bit carried away. *blushes*

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Review #40, by Joanne KWhen Nothing Else Matters: Failing to Hate You

8th October 2008:
I continue to love your characterisation of Draco, and I felt you developed Hermione's character well in this chapter too.

It's great how you tie the storyline in with what we know from canon, it makes the story so much more believable - which is usually a big issue for me when reading Dramione fics. I especially love that the "pure-blood wench" turned out to be Astoria Greengrass, I had been wondering all along if it was Pansy, but Astoria just works so much better. I'll be interested to see if Ron comes into the picture at any time.

You still have me hooked.

Author's Response: Thank you for the review, Jo!! You are wonderful! Yeah, I thought Pansy would be a great partner for Draco first, but then I changed my mind. I have over-characterized her a bit though I think... She is too nasty. :(
I'm glad Draco's and Hermione's characterizations are okay. That's what's important. ^_^


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Review #41, by Joanne KWhen Nothing Else Matters: First Love Never Dies

8th October 2008:
I'm finally here to review like I promised. :) I really enjoyed this first chapter, which is saying something because as I mentioned in my PM I'm not generally a fan of Dramione fics.

The storyline so far is intriguing, and I am anxious to find out the full story of how Draco and Hermione ever ended up together in the first place.

So far I really like Draco's characterisation in this fic, you made it easy to get inside his head and relate to his character. It will be interesting to see how he interacts with Hermione in future chapters. Oh and I loved his nickname for Ron - "Freckle fart" I cracked up laughing!

Your spelling and grammar are great. The only criticism I can make is in regards to the italicised parts. I'm not sure if you intended for the 'past' to be italicised or not, I personally don't think it is necessary as it was obvious you were leaping to the past when you said "Three years and one month previously", for me the italics proved to be a distraction. Of course in your author's note you did say that parts of the chapter was randomly italicising itself, so if that is the case then ignore my comment.

Oh, and in one part you have the girlfriend mention a Tommy Hilfiger wristwatch, I just found this a bit odd, because I assumed she was a pure blood witch and therefore probably wouldn't be buying Muggle brandnames... just a thought.

Great first chapter, you have drawn me in so far, and I look forward to reading chapter 2.

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Review #42, by Joanne KTwins!: Twins!

8th October 2008:
I just had to read this fic, seeing as though I am pregnant myself. In fact I have just got back from a visit to the obstetrician lol.

I really loved this one-shot, it reminded me so much of taking my own son to the doctor's with me, so you really characterised the three boys quite well, I couldn't imagine trying to take three of my son to the doctor's with me, I felt so sorry for poor Molly!

My favourite line would have to be Bill's question at the end, "Can we keep both of them, Mummy?" Healer Whitlock wasn't the only one laughing, it was just so cute and the typical innocent question that a child would ask.

On the technical side I couldn't fault you at all on your spelling and grammar. And it really was such an endearing piece that I can relate too so well at the moment that I just can't help giving it a 10/10.

Author's Response: It's funny, I wasn't sure that line was going to come out right, but it seems to have worked. I worry sometimes that things sound better in my head than they really do ;)

I reacted quite like Molly to finding out I was having twins - I was sure my OB was just joking with me, but then he put them up on screen with their little heads together (then one of them flipped and they started kicking each other in the head - I should have known what I was in for). It's really bizarre to think of having two babies in there, and so uncomfortable at the end. Anyway, I'm glad you enjoyed it :) Thank you for reviewing!


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Review #43, by Joanne KTwins and Marauders: ~One~

8th October 2008:
Interesting little one-shot. I always wondered if Fred and George ever found out who the Marauders were.

Your spelling and grammar were perfect, so well done in that respect.

I think it is good story idea, but I think you could have done a lot more with it. It was very short and to the point, but a lot more detail could have been added to make it more interesting.

The introduction was a little bland, perhaps work on creating an introduction that really pulls the reader into the story. It's such a short piece so you really want to draw the reader in right from the start.

I think you did a good job on your characterisation of Lupin and Sirius. Fred and George's characterisations were okay, but at times I felt as though they spoke younger than what they should be in this scene (afterall they are supposed to be seventeen).

I think it would have been nice if Sirius and Lupin reminisced a little on their creation of the map and if Fred and George went into more detail of how it came into their possession.

All in all though I thought it was a nice little "missing moment" fic.

Author's Response: I'm actually not that fond of this fic. I liked the idea, and I could almost picture the conversation in my head, but I really spent very little time on this. I wrote it while eating breakfast one morning and just sort of posted it without expanding on the idea, for a challenge. So, it's not very good. But thanks - I might go back to this one day. Thanks for reviewing, Joanne!

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Review #44, by Joanne KParental Guidance: The Three Broomsticks

22nd May 2008:
Very interesting and well written insight into Teddy and Harry's relationship. I liked the references to Teddy being so like his parents, the same way Harry was always told he was like his parents. I also thought it was an interesting twist having Teddy's grandmother die and have Teddy living with the Potters, it is something I haven't seen done in a fanfic before. Well done!

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Review #45, by Joanne KHARRY POTTER AND THE MYSTERIES UNVEILED: Parallel Worlds

12th March 2008:
Interesting chapter once again, it's good to see Harry moving closer to buying this apartment and 'sticking it to Umbridge' so to speak.

I did like the dialogue between Harry and Draco, at the start I wasn't so sure how in-character it was, but as the argument progressed I think you did a wonderful job of portraying them both.

There was one part that didn't sit right with me, it was at the beginning, the second thing Draco says, you have him as smirking, but I just didn't think it was fitting for him to smirk when in fact he seemed to be speaking quite angrily about something he is quite sensitive about.

There were only a couple of typos, one which has already been picked up on (I read the first half this morning). The other ones were:

"Gin, I must rather live at the Burrow" should be "I'd much rather live at the Burrow"

and

"that the prank hadn't work." should be "that the prank hadn't worked."

Other than that you did pretty well, considering you posted as soon as you finished writing it. ;)

I love the sound of this house, I just hope the glass walls don't mean that people will be able to see inside when they're having their DA meetings. lol.

Ginny was so cute wanting to move in with Harry, I'm glad Harry talked her out of it though, Molly would have been mortified otherwise. I also liked the little scene with Molly and Arthur, it was so sweet.

Anyway, I'd better end this review before it turns into a novel, I can't wait for the next chapter!

Author's Response: Again, thanks so much for your review.

I agree with you that smirking may not be the right thing for Draco to do, I'll think of something else. Thanks for pointing this out. Also, the typos, yes, you're again completely right. I always seem to overlook something.

Now, the apartment. In my obsession with making things realistic, I went around the premier property real estate London sites and I chose this building, so it actually exists, the price is real too, I took a bit off considering it was then 1998 but still is shocking what a London apartment can go for. Ok, this is top of the range, but still. The glass windows, well, it will not be at ground floor level and the glass ones overlook the river, so there is nothing opposite as such. I have truly fallen in love with this place myself, but of course, not a hope in hell unless I turn into JKR overnight lol The address is actually real too. Ginny, I feel a bit sorry for her and Harry of course would like to live with her but, yes, Molly would kill them both and that would be the end of the story, however, he promised her they would, eventually... and Ginny is a very determined young woman.

In the next chapter, the priest makes a re-appearance and Draco will have to come clean with him. Also they are moving a bit closer towards breaking into Gringotts.

Now, is the constant bickering between Harry and Draco getting a bit tiresome. I guess, they are going to have to colaborate sooner or later but I wanted them to move in that direction slowly. Draco also is used to Crabbe and Goyle following his direction and Harry is not that easy to manipulate, although it doesn't stop him from trying.

I'm glad you enjoyed this chapter anyway an thanks so much.


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Review #46, by Joanne KBaby Of Mine: I think I might be Pre....

7th March 2008:
Great characterisation again in this chapter.

I did pick up on two major inconsistencies though. Firstly, Hermione's middle name is Jean, not Jane, although if this chapter was written before DH you wouldn't have know that, but I thought I would point it out so you could fix it up. The second big inconsistency was with Draco having lunch. You mention that it is 12:55 when he meets Blaise, but then Draco says he has to be back at one for the meeting, this gives him 5 minutes to have lunch. Then later you say that he arrives at the meeting 5 minutes early, this is impossible.

I'm still loving your story line and look forward to the next chapter.

Author's Response: Hey! Yeah, I'm sorry for that. I only realized that after the chapter had been posted and by the time I realized it was too late to go back and fix it. It takes forever for each chapter to validated at a time.

If you think you can help me find a beta than that would be great! I am in definitely need for one.

ps. Thanks for the review!


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Review #47, by Joanne KBaby Of Mine: Realizations

7th March 2008:
I'm not usually one to read Dramione's, I'm not a big fan of the ship to be honest, but the quotes on your banner intrigued me.

I must say I love the concept for this story and so far the characters have kept 'in character' which I love. Most Dramiones change the personalities of Draco and Hermione, and I am so glad you haven't done this as it makes for a much more realistic story. I also like the fact that you haven't made Hermione overly beautiful, as that is another cliche I am not fond of.

I would suggest you get a beta reader though, there were one or two spelling errors and some of your sentences were a little jilted, but overall you write well and there were no major errors.

You have definitely won my interest with this story and I will be continuing to read it. ;)

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Review #48, by Joanne KAnd then there was one: And then there was one

23rd February 2008:
Beautifully written You captured the emotions of George's character well. I was almost crying along with him.

I picked up on only one or two spelling mistakes, and I wasn't sure if I like the way you had Fred speaking, but overall I think you did a wonderful job.

Author's Response: Thank you so much. I tried to express what both would feel in the situation. I am glad that you liked it.

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Review #49, by Joanne KAfter Death Did Us Part: After Death Did Us Part

16th February 2008:
Wow I just noticed this new one shot in your signature and I absolutely loved it!

Your imagery was fantastic, particularly in the opening paragraphs. You really made me feel connected with Ginny's emotions throughout the piece. I don't even know what else to say, you just described everything so well. I loved this piece.

I did pick up on one grammar error:
"they proceeded towards the "Cafe des Tribuneaux" where they have arranged to meet Hermione and Ron."

It should read "had" rather than "have". But other than that your spelling and grammar were both good. Great one-shot!

Author's Response: Oh, I'm so pleased you found this. I felt very insecure about this at first. Well Jessie, aka J L Hufflepuff got me started on this because she posted a challenge in elderlyhpfans, then I noticed that nana-banana had one too here and after a bit of encouragement I decided to post it.

I was a bit concerned that it was too melodramatic but people seem to be enjoying it so far, so I'm glad I posted it. I originally wrote it very quickly, like in 2 hours or something and I changed a few details a few times.

Thanks for spotting the error, you are absolutely right.

Now, how are your stories coming along. I'm still on chapter 23 but I'm writing bits of it at the moment. The breaking into Gringotts is still in my head but rather muddled up. I'll let you know when I have it finished.

Thanks so much for that. It has cheered me up a lot!

Hugs x


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Review #50, by Joanne KHer Sister's Eyes: Her Sister's Eyes

5th February 2008:
I actually read this when you posted it for the Writer's duel and loved it. I remember wishing I could review it then and there :P.

This was a really touching piece. I loved the way you portrayed Petunia. It was interesting the way her thoughts and feelings had changed and developed since they have returned home. I thought Petunia's interactions with Lily worked well. And the ending was particularly touching when she finally asked Harry for forgiveness. There was definitely a real growth in Petunia in this story, and you portrayed it well.

You have obviously been greatly inspired to write what happened to the various characters following the events of DH, and I must say so far from what I have read, you do it seamlessly.

Author's Response: Sorry for the delay in responding but I've been pretty busy writing my stories. I've got 4 WIPs and a couple others in the planning stages.
I'm glad you liked this story, I was rather proud of it. I heard about the Duel on January 2 and finished writing it less than four days later. It received 15 votes, I think, by the end of the contest and I was excited about that, especially since I'm new to the site and that was my first posting.
As much as I like the main characters, I think that many of the minor characters have great story potential and I like working on those as much as the Harry, Ron, Hermione stories. But I think it odd that people like the Dursleys, the Patils and some others who have appeared in all seven books have to be lumped under "other canon" when selecting characters for these stories while others like Doge, Bagshot, etc. are on the board. Just a thought. In the supporting characters is where much of the untapped magic and potential lie and I plan on exploring a lot of that.
Thank you again for your comments.


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