sorry I know this is kind of weird but the french that you had above when sirius is saying It's not a problem my friend it would actually be Ce n'est probleme pas mon cherie. Report Review
I actually have one simple question.How did James get his letter into the room without it exploding???Author's Response: I think what you were referring to was the charm/spell he placed on the door as a distraction. James put that there, to prevent the others from seeing what he was up to. So it wouldn't affect him. I think that's what you were asking, right? Thanks for the question, and feel free to ask more if you'd like :)) Report Review
To follow up on that previous review, I am willing to start editing for you at any point in time. The thing about Andromeda being from Ravenclaw came after a very long discussion with two of my friends who love HP. This is a pretty good chapter but I think that if you were to rewrite it you should put in some of James' and Lily's conversation. Maybe have a snippet or two could be overheard by Remus and Therese. I also think that if they are in a private area Therese should be called by her real name, not just in the order building... It really is a very good story and you don't even have to listen to what I have to say. 1000/10 ~_*|Hannah|*_~Author's Response: Thank you very much! You're probably right with James and Lily. As for There being called by her real name - I can't find any mention of either of her names in this chapter, where am I wrong? :) Report Review
Ok. so I have no Idea how many times you have been told this but Extendable Ears were invented by Fred and George so they didn't exist in this time period. Otherwise the story is coming out great! 1000/10 ~_*|Hannah|*_~ Report Review
You have a couple of issues with your story... I know that in like the first chapter you said something about not speaking english or something like that; if you want I can edit your chapters for you just e-mail me at hmunki@gmail.com. Another minor thing, and I have no idea how many people have told you this, Andromeda was in Ravenclaw, not Slytherin. 1000/10 ~_*|Hannah|*_~Author's Response: Thank you very much, I just don't know if I should start from here - you know, like send you the next chapter - or let you read also all the older...What do you think: And that thing with Andromeda - what is your source? Has JKR said it in some interview? Because I'm pretty sure there is nothing about that in the books... Report Review
bother bother bother. spelling mistakes galore this is what you get for not using your editor any more. tsk tsk tsk.I'm very ashamed. ~~~You know who!Author's Response: if you have aproblem with it stop reading it you git Report Review
idon'tcare.it'syourstory,dowhateveryouwantwithit,aslongasitsinteresting. that was meant to seem as if I had said it in one breath basically it's the third option. 1000/10 ~_*|Hannah|*_~Author's Response: hee hee, thanks! Wow, I'm overwhelmed with reviews. 18 in one day! I love it though! Report Review
WAY TOO SHORT! you need much longer chapters to satisfy your audience! other than that so far your story's very good! 100/10 ~_*|Hannah|*_~Author's Response: I know they're really short, and I'm sorry. If it helps, theres about 50 chapters, they're just all kinda short. The last one is very long though. Glad you think it's good beyond the chapter length though. Thanks for reading and for reviewing! Report Review
hmm... this wasn't where I was expecting you to go with this but it works really well. It would be interesting to have a flashback later on in the story to show what happened with the sorting hat. 1000/10 ~_*|Hannah|*_~Author's Response: Maybe... I dunno yet,though. But I will definitely try to work one in, eventually. Thx for reviewing!!! -Krissy Report Review
I think that cassie's form should not be the traditional form of a bat but something like a giant white dog, or whatever you think the opposite of Sirius would be. 1000/10 ~_*|Hannah|*_~Author's Response: thanks for the input...I'm thinking maybe something white but not a dog. thanks for the review!! Report Review
Interesting, if I were you I would have given this character a name possibly but other than that I wouldn't change it because I'm not in your head! 1000/10 ~_*|Hannah|*_~ Report Review
Ok. So I have spent all day, there was school, reading this... I find it to be extremely intriguing. After chapter five I saw only one or two spelling mistakes; effected vs affected. other than that I think this is one of the better, if not touchy stories I have read in a long time. It really reflects what happens in the real world, people being abused and not saying anything about it. One thing that I really dislike about this is the never ending author's note at the beginning of the chapter. If you were to make it nice and short it would be a lot nicer, and the reader would have a better idea of how long the chapter is, the number of words is very deceiving. I believe that you have created an amazing story... you will find that I don't review a lot so every few chapters I will leave one, just constructive criticism. 1000/10 ~_*|Hannah|*_~Author's Response: wow, you spent all afternoon reading it? I dont think even I have done that! I am so happy that there were less and less spelling mistakes - I wrote the first 5 chapters in 2005, the rest in 2008... lol I sorry about the never ending author note, you really dont have to read it if you dont like it, but I did warn everyone that the chapter would be short, so I am sorry if it dissapointed you! xxxxx thanks so much! p.s. very realistic rating! haha Report Review
Ok. so do you have an editor??? I only ask because you seem to have either unfinished or misspelled words, or a homonym. If you don't please feel free to e-mail me at hmunki@gmail.com. I will be able to do a decent job editing and the story should be a lot easier to read! 1000/10 ~_*|Hannah|*_~ Report Review
I really like how you used Stephanie Meyer's version of vampires, I don't know if it was intentional or not, but that is the sort of vampire that I personally am familiar with. 1000/10 ~_*|Hannah|*_~Author's Response: :) it's actually kinda funny that you mentioned that! I had already planned out Cassies vampire characteristics before I read twilight but I was amazed at the similarities. thanks for your review!! Report Review
Sweet... I love the fact that you are making it seem as though both Sirius and Remus have a thing for Gracie... 1000/10 ~_*|Hannah|*_~ Report Review
so I like the way that your story is starting out. one thing that I wish is that you might go more into the description of Quentin.Great story so far and that is actually all the criticism that I have for it. 1000/10 ~_*|Hannah|*_~Author's Response: Aw, thank you! I was thinking on the same lines ... um... the next chapter is in the queue, there's a bit more of Quentin in it. Thanks for the review =) Report Review
This is a really good start to a story. I don't know how many title suggestions you have gotten but maybe I have one that might suit: NEAR UTTER SILENCE. of course it wouldn't be in all caps but I can't make italics on Firefox so yeah. I'm very curious about where you're going to take this so keep up the good work. 1000/10 ~_*|Hannah|*_~Author's Response: Thank you thank you thankyou. Report Review
This is an interesting way of putting your story. There are a few grammatical and spelling errors but if you want I could probably help you, if you go to my author's page you will find my e-mail and just send me the draft of your next chapter. 1000/10 ~_*|Hannah|*_~ Report Review
I don't really get the last bit but otherwise this is a much better chapter than the last one! 1000/10 ~_*|Hannah|*_~ Report Review
the bit that lily was saying is a bit confusing, what I got out of it was that she used to be engaged to James but now they're dating, and Professor McGonagall's sister went over to the dark side. also that Professor McGonagall is lily's aunt, and Dumbledore her grandfather. Otherwise it's really good! 1000/10 ~_*|Hannah|*_~ Report Review
Desi, Desi, Desi, your amazing spelling is just going to have to get worse because other people will be jealous of the fact that it's so good. 1000/10 ~_*|Hannah|*_~Author's Response: geeze hannah hannah hannah thanks Report Review
The finals made me really loopy, but you know that. if you are going to be doing more letters that I think that you could use a bit of help with that, call me before you send your next chapter in for validation. 1000/10 ~_*|Hannah|*_~Author's Response: haha ok Report Review
I luv it!!! and I'm not just saying that because I'm your bestest best friend in the entire world! However, it is really really really incredibly short! make them longer! By the way I'm wearing the Kermit socks right now! ~_*|Hannah|*_~Author's Response: KERMIT!!! haha thanks Report Review
if I seem rude it's simply because I haven't had breakfast yet. You are making the transition from chapter to chapter too fast, that or the chapters are too short. If I were you I would have combined this and the last chapter. I really appreciate that you are strong in both the grammar and spelling areas of writing, and you are fabulous at writing the endings to chapters, however you seem to have a little bit of difficulty with the beginning. 100/10 ~_*|Hannah|*_~Author's Response: Thank you SO much! I really appreciate reviews that contain CC. No one has ever mentioned my pacing before, so I will definitely keep your comments in mind as I continue to write the story. Thanks so much for reviewing! xx Hannah Report Review
tsk tsk tsk. what are you going to do without your beloved editor any more, unless you have found a new one and they are editing your pieces I leave you to find a new one. 9/10 ~_*|Hannah|*_~Author's Response: I didn't think you wanted to be my editor anymore. I'll try and send them to you first. **Arielle** Report Review
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