Reading Reviews From Member: dev11
  
141 Reviews Found

Review #1, by dev11Evolution II: Elemental: Prologue: Rejection

27th April 2008:
oh, i'm so jumping (again) with excitement!! I want more! So sad that Jack was tossed out of his home for something on which he had no control:( So rude of his mom:(
I think Jack was born in a muggle house, right? I mean which of the magical families watch Tv?
hehe

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Review #2, by dev11Evolution: The Dark Rises: Chapter Eighteen - Last Day of Term

26th April 2008:
wow!! Well, I wanna read more about adam and Vigil so I hope more's present in the sequel:)

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Review #3, by dev11Evolution: The Dark Rises: Chapter Seventeen - Return

26th April 2008:
fantastic!!
i'm sorry, I'll not write much 'cos I'm gonna jump over to the next chapter!!! (and yeah, I jump a lot)

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Review #4, by dev11Evolution: The Dark Rises: Chapter Sixteen - In The Cellar

26th April 2008:
'Aurora looked at him in some surprise. What was his real name then? She didn't know why he would want to conceal it anyway. Mark asked him in a voice of forced calm. She knew that the twin was bioling inside with rage."Ooh, good question!"' how did Vigil know what aurora was thinking about his real name?

a good chapter anyways:) nothing can be perfect:P

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Review #5, by dev11Evolution: The Dark Rises: Chapter Fifteen - Kidnapped

26th April 2008:
wow perfect chapter!!! I'm not writing much 'cos I'm just virtually jumping up and down to read the next chap:P

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Review #6, by dev11Evolution: The Dark Rises: Chapter Fourteen - Kidnapper

26th April 2008:
'what might happen when (or if)' the brackets don't look wuite good, I suggest 'when, or if,' Commas are always preferred in books:)

woot! another mystery! I'm so much in love with this story!

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Review #7, by dev11Evolution: The Dark Rises: Chapter Thirteen - A Prophecy

26th April 2008:
'That was almost the end of the first day of exams.' Were all the exams mentioned before this line held on the first day itself?? (transfiguration, charms, potions, astronomy etc) So many of them in one day itself sounds weird.

'A giant squid floated lazily along' er, a giant squid in a lake? I'm sorry I dunno much about such creatures.But I don't think we find them in lakes.

the prophecy was so(o's till the end of the world) original!! I love your story!

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Review #8, by dev11Evolution: The Dark Rises: Chapter Twelve - Quidditch

26th April 2008:
oh, I know I'm to fussy, but I had to tell ya this, your banner's not working! You need a new one, or making one yourself?? I mean can i have the pleasure of making ya one? (sorry for brawling in a review)

"Aurora had demonstrated control of another fire" something about the sentence doesn't seem right...'another fire'?

your description of the quidditch match was GOOD! But well, it could do with some lengthening? I mean, Slytherin scoring a bit But gryffindors still ahead and sorts, *shrugs* just suggesting.

don't take me in the wrong sense, I knly want this already good story to become perfect! I saw a bit of your responses to other reviews and I really like your confidence in your story:D

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Review #9, by dev11Evolution: The Dark Rises: Chapter Eleven - Reporting to master

25th April 2008:
a good chapter. makes the reader read more. You could have done with explaining horcrux making with a bit more detail, but the idea of rolling the object in the victim's blood, in itself was creative:)
8/10 for this one!

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Review #10, by dev11Evolution: The Dark Rises: CHapter Ten - Propositions

25th April 2008:
'Aurora opted to stay behind, wondering what Hogwarts would be like.' she didn't nedda wonder right? her parents told her about hogwarts. Try this instead 'Aurora's curiosity got the better side of her, so she opted to stay behind, wanting to see the magnificent decorations, her parents had described to her so many times, herself' I'm just suggesting *shrugs*

'Aurora just stopped herself giving a yell of' instead, try this "Aurora, just in time, stopped herself from yelling with excitement'

again, the OC being perfect in everything, including lessons, chess and practises.

ok, there's nothing wrong with you know, copying the books a bit, But I say you avoid it in future, 'cos it puts off readers, at least most of them. The best thing in a story is being unpredictable:)

But it was a good chapter nevertheless, some typos, but nothing unusual. so I give it a 7.5/10

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Review #11, by dev11Evolution: The Dark Rises: Chapter Nine - The Dark Rises

25th April 2008:
o! It's mysterious!! makes me read more! but I guess I will continue tomorrow, 'cos I have to go now!

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Review #12, by dev11Evolution: The Dark Rises: Chapter Eight - Controlling Lessons

25th April 2008:
well, it's not bad, but people you know, get a bit put off if the OC is perfect. I mean aurora mastering everything would seem really like a made up fantasy.

a good chapter otherwise:)

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Review #13, by dev11Evolution: The Dark Rises: Chapter Seven - The Others

25th April 2008:
Good chapter:) well, this one makes me all the more excited to read more!

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Review #14, by dev11Evolution: The Dark Rises: Chapter Six - The Headmasters

25th April 2008:
'Now you, Aurora, can go to the Grea Hall' great hall? sorry for being fussy:)

the rap thingy is interesting:P

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Review #15, by dev11Evolution: The Dark Rises: Chapter Five - Discovery in Lessons

25th April 2008:
"The bed was so comfortable, and warm and-" it's better if you don't end a sentence like that, it's a bit on the abrupt side...

I think you could do with leaving a line between paras or when people talk, you know, like how I left a space between the last para and this one. it looks clustered and strains eyes.
put thoughts into italics. means, put 'you are so busted' in italics.

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Review #16, by dev11Evolution: The Dark Rises: Chapter Four - The Welcoming Feast

25th April 2008:
this was a good one, but except adam being sorted into slytherin, there wasn't much in this chapter.

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Review #17, by dev11Evolution: The Dark Rises: Chapter Three - The Hogwarts Express

25th April 2008:
it's a good one:) no flaws:)

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Review #18, by dev11Evolution: The Dark Rises: Chapter Two - Diagon Alley

25th April 2008:
another good one:0 but I don't understand why aurora wouldn't tell her parents about her abilities??
oh, well, are you gonna explain what was so special witht the wand, or well I have to figure it out?

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Review #19, by dev11Evolution: The Dark Rises: Prologue and Chapter One: A Letter for Aurora

25th April 2008:
o!! I'm dead excited to read the next chapter!! wow! I haven't read such a perfect story in ages! it's so realistic! this has to go in my faves!
9/10

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Review #20, by dev11The Boy who Lived Again...and Again...and AGAIN: The Boy Who Lived Again and Again

25th April 2008:
whoa!! your random stories are wonderful!! I mean i guess though it was random, it just wasn't confusing:P (if I'm explaining my point)
this was was better and more random that chavs:)
8/10
and Galbatorix SHOULD die:)

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Review #21, by dev11Chavs!: Chavs!

25th April 2008:
oh, well, that was weird??
I think a bit confusing too, but then who said that the fan fics all have to be totally following the books??
it was nice overall, but i think you needa put a bit of detail like you know, why voldemort did whatever he did and thing:)
7/10

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Review #22, by dev11Before the Tales: The Story of Beedle the Bard: Before the Tales: The Story of Beedle the Bard

14th April 2008:
wow! i feel like i just woke up from amother world!! the descriptions are perfect!!

i give it 100/10 [and there's no mistake!]

Author's Response: Thanks so much! It's nice to know the work is appreciated!

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Review #23, by dev11Beyond Bones: Time Flies

14th May 2007:
WOW WOW WOW!! I can't wait!! I've strong doubts that the man with the wide smile is Dumbledore!! it's cool!! Just update, please!!

Author's Response: lol you'll have to wait to find out :) sorry it's taking me longer than usual, my computer crashed so i have to upload everything from a different computer again *_* grrr, but o well i hope you like it.

and thanks for the review :D


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Review #24, by dev11:

8th May 2007:
Cool chapter!! Not my fave but i enjoyed it!!
UPDATE!! Can't think anything about the letter, so now I'll have to wait
ggrr..

Author's Response: haha. Thanks babe! Yes, you will just have to wait...

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Review #25, by dev11:

8th May 2007:
wow it's so like Sirius to leave the 'noble and ancient house of Black' !!
I loved this chapter!! Going off to the next chapter, lol!! I want to know more about everything! Sorry i read this so late, but exams were having their toll on me:( But as i had said before, I'm following!!

Author's Response: Thanks a million sweetie! I really enjoyed writing this chapter in particular! I hope exams aren't too bad now!

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