Wow, this is so good! i love (for some reason...) depressed Sirius trying to hide everything. And i like how he needs all of his friends differently, you know? Like Lily just completly sees through everything and Remus sees that but sees deeper too and James doesn't really see anything but does at the same time. lol if that makes sense :)
oh and i like how you describe the demons and his pain.
i love it so much, and im favoriting right now.
Please update soon? :) Report Review
What a wonderful chapter! The awkwardness between the two was perfect! Exactly thing kind of thing that you would expect to see after a night like they had just gone through.
I really liked the part with Lily and James. They are so sweet, and I liked how Sirius acted with them. He actually seemed normal, not all tormented like he usually does. It was really a nice thing.
I just loved this line: "He was truly the only person I knew who could keep up with a conversation while still reading at a normal pace." That was perfect, and it really fits Remus. Hilarious!
The part where Remus threw away Sirius's mail was interesting. I really didn't expect that from him, but I can understand why he did it. He was just trying to protect his friend, and I'm glad that Sirius understood that.
There were a lot of typos, so just when you get a chance, I'd suggest re-reading it again. It's no big deal, but it would help with the flow a little bit. I understand wanting to get the story up as fast as you can, though, and I really can't blame you for not wanting to wait!
Still, great job. I absolutely adore this fic, and I hope to see another chapter very, very soon!!! Report Review
I think I had reviewed this ages ago, but it was lost in the site crash, so I thought I'd do it again.
The interaction between Remus and Sirius is wonderful. I love how you blend Sirius and his issues with Remus, who is developed to a tee. There conversations are very realistic, and interesting to read.
I love the un-kiss! That just cracks me up every time I read it.
Remus is great. I love how close he is with Sirius, even though Sirius is pretending. I'm pretty sure that he'll be able to forgive Sirius once he find out the truth.
Just one thing. I noticed a bunch of typos here and there. Nothing really major, but you might just want to re-read it.
Nice chapter! Going on to the next one... Report Review
wonderful! it's really really really good omg omg omg! I RUV RU! and the characters. it's so good ^_^ keep writing, hon! 10/10 Report Review
Another really great chapter! I feel so sad for Sirius though...the reason for each of his cuts...esp. the last one...because of Regulus getting the mark soon...That one made me really sad.
It was so sweet that the Regulus gave Sirius a birthday present but I understand Sirius' anger...its so horrible that someone like Sirius had to go through such a horrible childhood.
And with Lily...that was interesting! I knew that she was going to take his words the wrong way at first, but I'm glad that they all fixed it up! :D lol So Lily loved Sirius...that's understandable, I can actually see that happening :)
I like the way that you described the different secrets that they all had that was interesting, I wouldn't have made that connection if you hadn't done that! :D
Hmm...what else? I could go on forever about how great I think this is, but instead I'll just end with a quick note:
Lily realized about Sirius liking Remus and I think that that was good (I think that Lily is very perceptive so I don't doubt the fact that she couldn't have figured it out)
Its nice to know that at least someone else knows (and there's no chance of her telling) :D
Another really great chapter! It was absolutely amazing.
-Kara :D Report Review
Well I thought the opening of this chapter was very good. The whole analogy of the sunset was quite powerful, I think.
I was going to say something about balance in this review, but I don't really have a reason to anymore. However, I'm going to say it anyway. I think it's important to have a balance between the darker side of Sirius and the lighter, acting more playful side.
I wrote that down as something to comment on when I was about halfway through the chapter and hadn't read the end part yet. This chapter had a really good balance, and so far I think just about all your chapters have. Hopefully you won't lose this, because it makes your story very realistic and believable, and it changes things around a bit, adding light and shade.
Hm... that's about all. This review has been a much nicer length than the last (sorry about it, I got carried away).
Wonderful, great, brilliant story. It is quite easily becoming one of my all time favourites. Keep it up!
--Nellie Report Review
Well... what can I say? I love your story so, so, so much. You have really great insight into your character's mind and it's great to see a character with such dept. Lack of depth is something that a lot of fanfiction characters suffer from, but not yours.
In your response to my last review, I believe that you asked me to give an example of typos. Towards the beginning of this chapter, there is a line that says 'guilty loving how serene he seemed' instead of guiltily. I know how difficult it is to pick up little mistakes like that and I always struggle with it. My stories are riddled with them.
I also thought that this passage was a little bit awkward, and I couldn't quite follow it. I think you were trying to fit a few too many things into one sentence and comes across as being a little bit cluttered. 'And his hair, which was as messy as James' was, only differently so, carelessly messy, showing off his personality, while James' bed head simply showed off how bigheaded he was, because he obviously makes it messy like that.'
Also, Sirius says that he 'just wasn't hunger' instead of hungry. It's not a big deal, but I'm just pointing them out because it's the only criticism I have of the story.
I love the way that Sirius has such control over things. The facade he creates for himself, as well as the way he can manage his behaviour to manipulate a situation... it's just fantastic. I love it. It's so extremely realistic as well. Especially the moments of doubt he has when talking to Remus. I love, love, love it. An example of what I'm talking about is this: 'How did he know I had something to confess. He didn't. He was bluffing.' Great line.
Every bit of your story that I read leaves me feeling as though some part of my soul has been stripped away. It really gets inside my head and knocks things about. That probably didn't make much sense because I really don't know how to describe it, but I assure you that it's a very good thing. There is so much truth in the emotion of your writing that I find it really quite confronting. Though Sirius is an extreme, and most people wouldn't picture themselves that way, I'm sure that just about everyone can find at least something to relate to in his character. Whether it be the family issues, the identity issues or anything else.
This has been really long-winded hasn't it? I've been writing poem commentaries for school all day so I'm sort of in an analysing mood. Hope I haven't bored you too much. In short, you are writing a very convincing and quite wonderful story. I always look forward to more.
10/10 as always.
--Nellie Report Review
you write really well. it's scary.
keep writing!! Report Review
*gulps oddly and tries to talk, but fails miserably*
I think I'm in love with Remus.
I never did read slash stories before, but yours is a star all on its own. I've never seen the likes of it before. You're really, really, really good with details and emotions, and I love it. I'M IN LOVE WITH REMUS! 10/10
*hugglez you to death* Report Review
Very well done! You have me completely convinced that this is really how it all was! Report Review
I don't know why you haven't gotten more reviews for this story.
Personally, I think your writing skills alone are amazing. It's just like one long poem, beautiful and with so many fantastic quotes in there.
I'm speechless at the moment, hence the shortness of my review.
But this is a brilliant story, I really love it and keep up the brilliant writing!
-Solo Report Review
Another amazing chapter! *squee* I especially loved the ending ;D
wow, the whole thing was amazing! It was...wow.
I liked the way that you wrote the two different reactions to the full moon with Remus and Sirius.
when Remus put his head on Sirius' shoulder I swear I thought that something was going to happen then! -disappointment-
But hey, the ending...well..that made up for everything :D lol
Love it and I can't wait for another chapter! :D
-Kara Report Review
Lovely! Update soon!Author's Response: thanks! Report Review
I love it. It is very well written and the plot unravells beautifully.Author's Response: thanks a lot Report Review
i love it. absolutely love it. i really like your portrayal of sirius, it's a bit different than anything i'm used to reading and, of course, i love remus/sirius slash, so... you've got me hooked. keep 'em coming! i've added this story to my favorites. ^^Author's Response: thanks so much!
slash ftw! Report Review
Love this story. You are such a good writer. Can't wait for the next chapter.Author's Response: thanks :) Report Review
wow So glad I added this to my favs! Yea update!!! I'm so jealous right now. You describe Sirius feelings expertly I must say and the way he describes Remus *_* perfect! Anxiously awaiting the next chapter!Author's Response: thanks. glad you liked it Report Review
I really enjoyed this chapter! I was very emotional I think. The way that Sirius felt about the note and how he was dealing with it and the 'demons' inside him.
Remus...my god-Remus. Is it possible to fall in love with a fictional character because the way that you describe him, amazing. Simply amazing.
I love the fact that this time, the way that they were together, was completely different then any other time as well and Remus seems to be extremely responsive (in a 'nonresponsive' kind of way) he seems to notice the differences in the situation as well!
Another amazing chapter! :D
*hugs* -Kara-Author's Response: Hey Kara!!
glad you liked it, I had fun (well, as much fun as you can have writing the thoughts of a depressed young man) writing the part with Sirius, with the repeating words in his head and his struggle with himself. It was really hard to get right, but I thought I managed it pretty good by the end.
It's ok, I love Remus too ;)
thanks for the great review Kara!!
PS: very much antisapating the next chapter of Passions!! stupid queue being slow :( Report Review
wow, this was amazing!!! At first when Sirius was talking to Regulus, I thought it was night time lol thats he impression i got. I spotted a few mistakes, nothing too major. Omg I so wish I could write like this. Love the playful banter Between Sirius and Remus and especially this part:
Sometimes I wondered if James and Peter noticed. If they saw how quickly I forgot about everything else when I had his attention. Perhaps they were both too oblivious to see it, but I still wondered. It kept me careful.
In some parts, I do feel like maybe you're doing a little too much telling rather than showing. Even though I think the telling works for this piece. Keep up the good work. I'm adding this to my favs!
kay~Author's Response: lol! no, not night, :S
Glad you liked that part. I liked it too, which was pretty much why I put it in the chapter summary! xD
thanks for the reviews, and no problem on the lateness, in all honestly, I kinda forgot I applied to get reviews from you, just cuz I've been so busy! BUT that just meant that your reviews were even more of a surprise and even more day making! lol
thanks! Report Review
Hello! Sorry to be late. Kimaru-Sama from the forums. Usually I can't really get into a story that's written in first person because they always seem a bit too... dramatic shall we say lol but I have to say, that isn't the case for this one. I really like how you describe Sirius' emotions. Excellent job! I can feel the angst in this one and that's something that I love. I can already see the potential Sirius/Remus (best slash pairing ever!!!) beginning to unfold. Sirius is characterised well and so is Remus and the others! Great chapter!
kay~Author's Response: thanks. I'm glad that you don't think it's too dramatic. I was kinda going for dramatic, but in a Sirius so of way, so in a way that's low key and subtle, and obviously I've pulled that off if you like it.
lol, slash FTW :D Report Review
I detect something going on between Remus and Sirius, I hope this is the case :) I fell back for Sirius when he was talking with Regulus what a brainwashed creep. Please feel free to post on my thread when you've updated ^_^Author's Response: will do.
thanks for the reviews! Report Review
Sirius is so hilarious but I kind of did wish they kissed. I'm glad you portrayed Peter as human with some good qualities because some make him extra disgusting or ignore him all together because of the betrayal, but my thing is he was a Marauder for a reason. But very good indeed :)Author's Response: lol, I'm glad your glad. One of my biggest peeves is when people don't give him any credit in stories (which makes it hard for me because I always have an inner conflict writing him myself. my mind still sees him as a dirty sneck, but I have to get by that and write him as a person)
but yeah, I'm really glad that that's a detail you pulled out of it, because it's definatly one of the things that I spent time on :D Report Review
I was so unbelievably excited when I saw that you had another chapter up. I really love this story.
There were quite a few spelling mistakes/typos throughout this, so I'd recommend a quick re-read before you post things. It's quick and easy and doesn't take long.
I thought this chapter was good, and I'm interested to see what part Regulus has to play in all this, though I seem to feel it lacked a little something that the first chapter had. I really loved all the secrecy and deceit and everything that you wove so nicely in the first chapter.
So I'm hoping the next chapter will have a little bit more of that in it somewhere! But that's not to say that I didn't enjoy chapter 2. I love your story and I think it's an excellent idea, and written very well.
Hope to see some more soon,
--NellieAuthor's Response: :/ I usually to re-read things before I post them. I must have had an off night or something *frustrated at self*
I know what you mean, but I hope to bring that back in the third chapter. It's just, in this chapter I lightened things up a little because Sirius is more in the public eye as well as the fact that I wanted to show a little more interation with his friend.
but I do like the darkness of the story, so it's staying, and I hope the third chapter has brought back that secrecy :) Report Review
Yay!!! I loved it! LOVED IT! I wanted to cry at the beginning with Regulus! I really did! It made me feel just so sad! I'm happy that James stopped Sirius before he 'slipped up'.
Remus is one of a kind. He honestly is. I don't even know what else to say about him. He's amazing in every way shape and form and I love that he knows Sirius like he does!
Can't wait for the next chapter! :D
(100 trillion/10 by the way because your stories to good to be held by the boundaries of 1-10 ;D)Author's Response: lol. I love Remus too. xD there's really nothing to say about him except... well
yup, that works.
we should make that our new offical discription word for Remus.
k, that starts now :D Report Review
I'm planning on reading your story
but i havn't yet
but i really like your banner
would you be able to email me on email@example.com telling me where or how you got it...
I keep on trying to get one but i can't figure it out
thanksAuthor's Response: I make my banner, but unfortunatly, I don't offer services to others. I just don't have the time.
glad you like the banner though. Report Review
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