The banners are really wonderful - an added treat for the readers - thanks!Author's Response: thank you so much! glad you like them Report Review
All right, first chapter read. I thought it was a really good lead in chapter. I'm rather glad they aren't kids or even young adults here. It should prove to be interesting as they have more life experience and hopefully long over any hang-on 'school' drama.
In you A/N at the end, you expressed concern since it's a new territory for you - well, I can't imagine you NOT writing a great story, new territory or no. Any reader of your stories would agree with me.Author's Response: hey there!
thank you - I am glad you are enjoying it so far and i agree completely. they had to be older for this story to work fully.
*blush* thank you!
xx Report Review
I did enjoy this story, for a few reasons.
1. The grammar was mostly accurate, and non-distracting from the storyline.
2. Great usage of vocabulary and the alternation of sentence structure to enhance the imagery
3. It had a clearly defined plot, as well as character growth and development. Many of the responses were realistic - such as Scorpius before he accepts his affection for Rose, and Rose's apprehension to move in with him. They were true to the characters.
HOWEVER- I do feel that a few things could have been better. While most of the character development seemed to be realistic for each character's personality, it appears to me that Cassandra's character wasn't very well thought out. I enjoy the message you're trying to get across by having her concede in the end, but I do not feel that a woman who killed her child for being a wizard would have given up her hatred so quickly. That was an extraordinarily idealistic perspective which, I have found, has little basis in reality. People build up thick barriers to protect themselves from guilt and blame. In fact, most criminals cannot be convinced that they have done anything wrong. It is a basic human response to want to avoid blame - especially in a situation where Cassandra would have to face the fact that she had killed her own child as a result of her "mistake."
Even if you truly feel that she would have given in, which is your right as the author, at least consider giving her more defense mechanisms to accurately portray the depth of her hatred. You did do some of that, but her sadness has twisted itself into anger and hatred... not been disguised by it. That hatred runs deeper than any other emotion. Pride gets involved, their sense of self and of reality. Perceptions such as that cannot be changed so easily.
Do you believe you could convert a lifetime KKK member in one day?
People make lots of excuses. "They're just sucking up and playing nice until they get what they want." "They'll hurt us the second we trust them." "As long as they live, there will always be reason to hate." Remember, paranoia is often coupled with hatred. How do you dispose of those cognitions in someone so intentionally deluded? You don't. Their whole perspective of life depends upon it. and delusion, by definition, cannot be combated with reasoning.
I feel it would have been both more interesting to the plot line and better representative of Cassandra's cunning character to have her pretend to cooperate, only to tell her followers to attack during the press conference. She knew that she had followers all over the world, she knew the wizards would not kill her, and she knew that her people were watching. She would also know that this would discredit the efforts of the wizarding community and encourage a loss of faith in their abilities. She killed her child for this cause. How could she not keep fighting?
Overall, good story. But I feel like you got lazy towards the end in your attempt to let the good guys win. I think I would have given your idealistic perspective more credit if you had truly given the antagonists a fighting chance and recognized that not everyone can be converted to "good" (this term used very, very loosely).Author's Response: Thank you Ashely for your honesty. You are entitled to your opinion and I am not going to tell you not to think what you want. However, I think you may have misunderstood Cass a little.
First, she did not kill her child for the cause - the cause arose from her guilt for killing her baby, not the other way around. She already had a misconception about magic based on what happened to her brother - perhaps I did not explain that well enough. I don't know, but her baby's death and her attempted suicide came from fear. it was not at that stage in cass' life hatred for wizards that drove her but fear. the hatred came later, when she could not deal with her guilt.
second, who says she did repent? that she said she did and that she denounced For Humanity in public does not mean that she no longer hated wizards and that she no longer still held to her beliefs. people lie, and that was left open for the reader to interpret. me, i like to think that she took the only available option left open to her - she was backed into a corner and in the end, i believe self preservation is stronger than the desire to see others hurt. she is a terrorist yes, but she is not going to sign her own death warrant. i don't believe for a second that she gave up her hatred, but she acted in the only way she could under the circumstances. yes she could have made a call to arms etc etc but what would that have served? she is cunning and malicious but she is also intelligent. she is the sort of person who would wait - serve her time, accept her punishment and then, who knows? and i like to believe that there was something redeemable in her; that perhaps someone like cass can make a human decision and think beyond the hatred that she has allowed to fester inside herself.
she is not by any means a converted or even redeemed character. i don't think the good guys 'won' in any case - who wins in a war? every one suffers. there are no winners. and this story, or this ending, focused one moment in the culmination of what has the potential to be a very large scale and enduring conflict. someone says - i think it was ron or harry - that they are about to enter the hardest stage of this war - the possible end. we know from reality that things linger and i don't believe that this war ended here. i had to though, end the story.
thank you for your review. I do appreciate the feedback. Report Review
Wow. It's over. This was such an amazing story, and your message was definitely clear. It reminded me of the holocaust, and of the genocides still going on today. I love how it was set in Africa, rather than the UK or US and I loved the plot, but most importantly, the theme. I really enjoyed reading this, and I feel kinda empty now that it's over. An excellent story, really. Loved everything about it. Just, wow.Author's Response: thank you for all your wonderful reviews hun. i really really appreciate the feedback and i am so glad you enjoyed it. setting was important - this would not have worked politically in the UK or the US and yes, the theme was important, possibly more so than anything else in the story. I'm really pleased you said that!
thank you so very much! xx Report Review
Gah, that was so good! I was going to give you a review last chapter, but it was too much of a cliffie. I love that little bit of foreshadowing! Of course, I didn't reconginze it at the time, but now that it's here, I love it! So exicted to read the last chapter!Author's Response: thank you once again for another lovely review darling. i am really pleased you're enjoying this and that everything is working. Report Review
Ha, I knew that everything wasn't going to be perfect! I'm so so glad that you put this in! It shows that the war hasn't been won yet! And I'm praying that Lily will survive. I would give you a longer review, but I must read on!Author's Response: oh no, this war is far from over, lol. thanks hun and i'm glad you're still enjoying it! xx Report Review
I have to admit that I'm shocked. I didn't think that it would be resolved so fast. Most of me thinks there's still something big yet to come, but it all seems so perfect. I'm thinking, and also hoping, that I'm in a false sense of security right now. In any case, I hope this isn't the end of the action, so I'm excited to keep reading. Oh, and I dont think I ever mentioned the pregnancy, so I'll just say right now that it was a brilliant twist. Yay, time to read on!Author's Response: resolved? who said? ^_^ hahahaa
thank you again for another lovely review. i am pleased you liked the pregnancy twist - i was unsure of how that would go down with readers but it's been positive so far.
thank you! Report Review
It flowed beautifully. Yes, a lot went on, but it all worked so well! Must keep reading! This is much too great! And I still can't find anything I don't like!Author's Response: thank you so much hun!!! Report Review
This was such an interesting plot twist! I'm really glad that the mission wasn't perfectly successful! It added a lot of drama to the story, and made it way more believeble! I'm so excited to keep reading!Author's Response: thank you. they had to get caught at some stage and they had to reveal themselves so yeah, i thought this situation was the best choice for that plot point.
so happy you're enjoying it! xx Report Review
Gah, this is so amazing! And I'm sorry for being away for so long too...
This is the perfect blend of romance, action, suspense, drama, and mystery. I am in love with this story. You're doing such a great job, and I can find no flaws whatsoever.Author's Response: hey hun
thank you so much for another lovely review! i am really pleased you are enjoying it!
xx Report Review
I lved the end. It was a really amazing fic, one of the best I ever read. I love it because it was not alone romance, it was a lot more, and sometines I was on the edge of my seat. You described everything so well: I copuld feel the warmth, the angst, the feelings, everything. I'm so sad it's over. And I wonder if you would write something mor elike an epilogue, just to know a litlle more about them in the near future. Anyway, that was a wonderful fic and thank you a lot for that!Author's Response: thank you so much darling, for all your lovely reviews and your support throughout this fic. i am really happy you enjoyed it!! I dont know what else to say other than thank you!!!
xx Report Review
I love this story!! You are an amazing writer, you should definitely think about going professional!! XDAuthor's Response: oh, i think about it ALL the time, lol! thank you darling - really pleased you enjoyed it and thank you for the lovely compliment! Report Review
I can't believe it's taken me this long to get around to leaving a review! I just have to say it; this is honestly my favourite story on this site! It's so unique, I have never read anything like it before, and your characterisations are so real!
In my opinion, you ended it absolutely perfectly! :D
Thank you for writing this wonderful story!Author's Response: thank you sweetie, for all your lovely reviews throughout this fic. i am really pleased you enjoyed it and thank you for all the wonderful compliments. thank you for reading!
xx Report Review
I really enjoyed this story it was different in a good way. I loved your detail of all of the places in Africa and I swear i thought you had actually been to those places with the level of detail you had. Once again loved reading it and hoping there will be a second story!Author's Response: thank you so much. i am really pleased you enjoyed it and i don't know about a second story but if i am as insane as i think i am, i will possibly write something more. thank you!
xx Report Review
I love how you integrated romance into this! It isn't the focal point of the story, because it shouldn't be, but the way that that you wrote it added an amazing subplot and it was a nice break from all the Muggle-wizard tension. I also loved that you brought Isobelle back! I hope she'll be a bigger part of the story. And Rose and Scorpius are definitely true to their characters. Oh, also loved the backstory in here. It was horrible and depressing, but it fit Cass's character beautifully. Another excellent chapter!Author's Response: thank you once again darling for another lovely review. i really appreciate hearing your thoughts. the romance element is very much in the passenger's seat at this time. it is a lot of fun to write though, lol.
xx Report Review
This is so intruiging! I love how we're getting to see the Muggle's point of view on this whole thing, and as much as I'm kicking myself for it, I'm pitying the Muggles. So great job on your part, because that means the emotion is definitely there! Long chapters are a good thing when they're written well, and yours definitely is! I think your pace is perfect, too, giving me just enough of a plot in every chapter that I'm not bored, but it doesn't feel rushed either!Author's Response: hey hun
thank you and WOW really? that is kind of awesome, because i was wondering whether anyone would end up pitying them, even if it was just a little bit. i feel sorry for them and i want to shake them all really hard for their nonsense and their hate!
thank you so much!! Report Review
I love Rose's character! Love it! The interaction between her and Scorpius was amazing and it added humor, which I think is great to have in a darker story to lighten up a bit!Author's Response: thank you so much! i am really happy you're enjoying it! Report Review
Hi! Naida here with your requested review! So sorry that it's taken me this long to start it!
Since this is such a long story, I'll just point out things that I liked or didn't like from here on out, if that's okay. But I'll give you a proper review on this :)
Your plot is really original. You're exploring the darker side if Muggles found out about wizards, and I like that. Adding Morocco as a setting is going to be one of the best parts about this, I think. It makes your story original and gives it a twist. I'm also excited to see how the ScoRose plays out. Not that the advice much applies, since it's almost finished, but I hope they stay true to their characters if/when they fall for each other. I guess I can comment more on that when it actually happens.
The only one small criticism I have of this chapter is that all the long paragraphs at first got kind of monotonous. I know that this is an introduction and that you needed to explain everything, but I felt like I was bombarded with too much information and it wasn't really done in an interesting way. Not to say that you didn't write it well, because you did, but it got almost tiring just reading an account of everything that was going on. Once you got to the interaction between Scorpius and Rose, it was perfect and it flowed better too. It's pretty small, and won't really have a huge effect on how good your story is, but it's the only thing I didn't like, so I thought I'd point it out. Other than that, it was amazing!Author's Response: I AM SUCH A HORRID PERSON! i am so sorry this has taken me so long, and after all the effort you went to.
thank you for all your comments and your constructive criticism. i really appreciate it. i hate first chapters, lol. i never quite know how much to share in one moment, and i am quite fond of rather large paragraphs.
thank you so much - i am really pleased you are enjoying it so far hun!
xx Report Review
I am going to put down my guard and hope nothing bad happens in these 9000 words.
Heee Hermione and Draco banter. Endlessly amusing. “It seems someone said something to him the other night at dinner about how he has done nothing but sit around on his aristocratic arse behind the walls of his fortress as Rome burnt, while the rest of us, including his son, have been fighting for our very existence.” HEEE.
Oh the press. Stirring up trouble again. BUT IT FEELS HOPEFUL NOW.
OH, SOPHIE. POOR GIRL D: BUT SHE GETS TO SEE HER FATHER NOW YAY! AND CASS IS KIND OF BETTER NOW, YAY! Oh Kate, if only you could spread world peace with your stories.
Pfft Scorpius, you can't just go around burning memos. Sigh.
“Here, Potter. Are you telling me you can’t manage a couple of Frenchmen? What happened to the universal translators?” Haaah. Oh Draco, you grew up quite nicely.
Oh Cass. That was so much more than you needed to say. At last.
Heee. FLUFFY CUTENESS HEEE.
KATE. I ADORE EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS FIC. (And the fact that it's complete! PHEW! Thank Merlin; I'm so afraid to touch any other action fic) And I secretly love that you're not a bodycount person and you keep my favorite characters alive :3
It's been four and a half hours since I started reading it and I haven't left my seat and I don't regret it one bit. I hope you survived all my crazy capslocky review :D
♥Author's Response: GINA I AM SO SORRY!! real life has kidnapped me and i feel wretched for taking so long to respond to the rest of your killer reviews!!
i gotta have my dramione moment, even if it isn't a dramione moment, lol. i do love those two!
gotta love the press too - funny, i was going to be a journalist...
hahahahaa he can burn as many memos as he wants. its kind of sexy i reckon, lol.
i adore writing adult draco. he is awesome-sauce! and cass...i like to think she is redeemed but she isn't really. deep down she is still the same. it will take a while for her to change.
thank you thank you thank you for reading and leaving me such crazy/awesome reviews darling! i love you SO MUCH!!
Kate xx Report Review
I started reading this a month or so ago because I need fanfic to fill up my startlingly sizable spare time. I think I started when it only had twelve or thirteen chapters, so I was super duper excited that I wouldn't have to wait for resolution to really evil cliffhangers, but then there were still two more chapters, plus the epilogue, and oszeihdjxf. I don't have that much to say because, weirdly enough, I have too much to say, but not all of it can be made into a review since my thoughts are so jumbled. But I did want to congratulate you, obviously, for a job superbly well done on a tight-knit, unnerving, consuming novel. Your characterizations were sublime and real, your plotting tight and tense and full of brilliant moments, and the stakes in this resolved very nicely -- a little too nicely for my taste, but I suspect that's just vague jealousy stemming from my patent inability to end things satisfactorily. You managed to twist things I expected (namely, Rose getting pregnant) into plot devices that, you know, took my breath away, which is no mean feat. I do think this had echoes of a traditional "apocalyptic" action/adventure, which I'm sure you know (also, Conrad references kind of made my life), but again, excellent work with making the tropes and the suspected character/plot trajectories utterly your own. I'm so happy that you made it this far, and congratulations again on a job ridiculously, absurdly, brilliantly well done. ♥Author's Response: GUBBY!! omg. a gubby review!!
i don't know how to respond to this. first, thank you so much for reading - i didn't know you were (that was sneaky, lol) and second, i am really pleased you liked it. you flatter me way too much hunny but thank you - i really love the characters in this. their reality took my breath away sometimes - they appeared as they were i feel like i did so little to help them onto the page - they were real in their own way with nothing from me, and that is kind of scary.
i get what you mean about the resolution. it was hard to decide where or how to end it. i had plans from the start about the resolution of some plot points ie Areli and Rose, Hugo, Rose and Scorpius, but others, like what would happen to Cass and to the state of things...i wasn't sure what i was going to do.
yay apocalyptic! i love that word, lol, and i have read way to much post-apocalyptic fiction in my time (love it love it love it) and yay for Conrad. he fit so perfectly. Heart of Darkness scares me.
thank you thank you thank you. i'm so happy you reviewing darling!!
xx Report Review
Heee. They find out. "“I don’t need protecting; it’s no wonder pregnant women suffer from mood swings, with all these men constantly telling them what to do,”
Oooh I have a bad feeling about Scorpius' plan. -crosses fingers and reads faster-
“I would never presume to seduce you with praise.” Heh.
OH NO. OH THE WHOLE. I JUST CAN'T. NO I KNEW IT WOULDN'T GO DOWN WELL. STANDOFF. AND.
OMG. OMG I HAD FORGOTTEN THE FORESHADOWING, BUT THE FORESHADOWING YES IT FINALLY CAME. SHE PULLED THE TRIGGER.
Omg Kate, I love you so much. One more chapter to go, but like I cannot commend you enough on the tension and the way you've drawn me into your characters. I really did think that there was a huge possibility that someone wasn't going to make it and I would've been devastated (9000 words to go, I hope there aren't more body counts then D:).
AND FINALLY... THE LAST CHAPTER.Author's Response: i had so much fun writing that scene! so much fun!! teehee
yes there was the foreshadowing from about chapter...4 i think, lol. that action was one of the only things i had completely planned from the very beginning. when i first contrived areli's character i knew she had to kill him and when he said those words, way back in chapter 4 or whatever, i knew for sure it had to happen like this.
thank you thank you thank you gina! i am so sorry its taken me so long to get to this. i am just thrilled you are enjoying it!!
xx Report Review
Anti-Muggle Wizard extremist group. Oh humanity, you never fail to frustrate me. Oh my god they're all targets. UGH SO MUCH FRUSTRATION AT THE WORLD.
“My dear, I am not my husband. The child is also a Greengrass and a Granger, is it not? Draco is such a stuffy old aristocrat,” she said airily. “But he is rather pleased about the prospect of becoming a grandfather.” OH I LIKE YOU NOW ASTORIA. I WAS LIKE SIDEEYEING YOU FOR A WHILE BUT WE COOL NOW 8D
So. Freakin. Sweet. Scorpius. They are so adult and responsible which allows me to enjoy all of this nice drama-free CUTE.
“I’m his mother, not his gaoler,” HAH I LOVE YOU EVEN MORE NOW ASTORIA.
OH NO. OH NO. OH NO. ROSE WHY. ACK. HOW.
SOPHIE I HAD A SUSPICION YOU'D DO THIS. UGH. DANG IT. I LIKED YOU AND I CAN'T BLAME YOU BUT ERRRGH.
ROSE YOU AND YOUR NEED TO SHOW A GOOD EXAMPLE GAHH. I can't tell you how much I appreciate how you set up this whole conflict. It's bigger than a person, it's bigger than saving someone; it means everything, how this situation is handled, how an example is set.
CAN'T. STOP. READING.Author's Response: frustration at the real world has been a rather large motivating factor in this fic, as is probably obvious. people are just so...stupid sometimes!
I LOVE ASTORIA! she is so strong in this, so amazing and i like to think scorpius is more like his mother than his father.
i know. poor sophie. i had to mess with her a little...and yeah rose has to go play hero.
thank you once again darling!!! ILY!!
xx Report Review
THE WHOLE GRAPEVINE. HEH. I LOVE IT. I cannot wait until Ron knows. Oh now Ron does know. Heee.
Oh dear, the world D: gulp. I suppose the news about Cass had to spread. Hmm are people going to go straight after the Ministry then? Oh dear.
THE PRESS. I was waiting for the press to show up. They're the worst, hehe. I KNEW IT. GOSSIP MAG.
“No, but that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t jump in the sack with him; have you seen him? Oh wait, I suppose you have." Truer words have never been spoken.
THE BANTER IS DOUBLY CUTER NOW. “Wait till they find out that she,” he pointed at Rose, “is pregnant. I can see the headlines now: ‘what really goes on when Aurors go undercover,’ or, ‘while protecting the world they forgot to’ -”
Oh Rose, thank god you're there even though you're hopped up on pregnancy hormones. PEACE, NOT WAR. If only our own world listened to reason so easily.
Oooh that is HUGE. Isobelle T_T you shall be remembered.
OH NO. OH MY HOLY. AHHH. THE TERRORISTS ARE IN THE UK. AHHH. I WAS WAITING FOR IT AND WHEN I READ THE FIRST FEW SENTENCES I WAS LIKE OH MERLIN IT'S COMING.
MUST. FINISH.Author's Response: i have really enjoyed writing the banter in this fic. i never usually write banter - i always feel like it doesn't work - but in this, it did, and so easily. yay for characters that play nice, lol.
had to include the press. as a former journo, the press sneaks in to a lot of my fics in some way...
i really wanted to give isobelle more of a role than just the spy. she needed to be important in a deeper way.
it is coming, indeed!! ^_- Report Review
Fangirl squeal. CUTE. Aw, they're so sensible and responsible. I like that. No unnecessary drama.
OH MY GOD BAHAHAHA: Scorpius put his wand on the table with a shaking hand. “Do I need this?” SCORPIUS YOU ARE TOO ADORABLE. "Rose could see his cheeks burning and it almost made her laugh to realise he was both embarrassed and frightened of her mother." SO ADORABLE.
Heh. HEH THIS WHOLE SCENE.
“She knows.” Rose put her head in her hands.
“How can she possibly know?”
“She just does.”
SHE WOULD. HERMIONE WOULD SO KNOW.
Sooophie! You return!
"Lily came to see her after lunch; she had also heard the happy news and didn’t know whether to be offering congratulations or polishing up on her hexes. " I LOVE YOUR ACTION BUT THIS WHOLE POST-ACTION IS MAKING ME GIDDY LIKE NOTHING ELSE.Author's Response: i would be TERRIFIED of hermione, especially if i were scorpius in that situation, lol. and it would be hard to have a mum like hermione - she would just know everything!
oh yes, more sophie...
teehee thank you darling!!
xx Report Review
"Like the Hydra of Lerna, For Humanity would only be defeated when its immortal head was severed from its body and Rose was determined to bring Cass in." Oooh I just love all your illusions. That sentence felt so nice to my ears. Mmm, literary indulgence.
OH ROSE, WHY ARE YOU SO DETERMINED TO MAKE PLOT :P GO HAVE GLORIOUS BABIES WITH HOT SCORPIUS. -sigh- Fine, go be a hero.
OH MY GOD THE SCENE WITH SCORPIUS AND ROSE FIGHTING AGAINST CASS IS SO HNNG.
Joe. JOE GOOD OL' JOE. BE A KEY.
Ahh, safety in a plane. I wonder what Isobelle was organizing. I'm hesitant to let myself feel good because I know something bad must happen and I'll be terribly torn up. And the Department! Oh I feel safe now. JAMES! Eee. Still waiting until the whole pregnant thing pops up again.
Oh Rose. She does what I would want to do. I have this thing where I really want ignorant people would understand, even though I know it is hopeless most of the time. I can't wait to see what happens to Cass.Author's Response: i love literary indulgence, lol.
BAHAHAHAHHA thats a whole other story, lol
that scene was FUN to write, and it was actually one of the first action scenes i wrote for this fic (i don't write in order see, lol).
james is as much fun as Al. i want to write more action hero james.
thank you!!! Report Review
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