Ooh ... things are starting to heat up. Especially with James. I'm wondering why he's so angry ...
I do have a note, though. You're kind of ... objectifying Lily. I think it could really help if we saw what Lily was like, because right now we have no idea who she is or why she might be gone.
But back to James. Does he know something? I'm wondering with the bit with Lorcan ... why was Al so keen to talk to him?
Ahhh. So many questions! Great chappie, though, and keep it up! :D
EllieAuthor's Response: Yes, Lily is being objectified at this point in the story. That will slowly begin to change though as the characters themselves stop objectifying her. =)
And yes, James is quite angry! He's one of my favorite characters to write. I hope the next chapter will answer some of your questions, but if they were all answered I wouldn't have a story left!
Haha, thanks for your reviews, they're all really special to me! Report Review
Yay! James has made an appearance, I felt a bit sorry for him, the way he was trying to get everyone to calm down and asking them things and being met with what he did.
I wonder why Al is just assuming the worst? I hope they do find Lily soon, I don't like seeing them all upset like this. Although I can't wait to read more so maybe they shouldn't find her soon haha.
Another wonderful chapter, I really enjoyed this. It's written so well and I can't wait to see how the rest of the families are going to react to the news that Lily has gone missing.Author's Response: James is one of my favorite characters to write, so you'll be seeing a lot more of him later. And Al, well, he's just very different.
Wow thanks, I'm glad you're liking it so much! Your reviews were both really sweet, thanks so much! Report Review
Oh this is an intriging (Is that how you spell that word? mm not sure haha) first chapter, I can't wait to find out why Lily has gone missing.
I love how annoyed Harry is at the presence of the hit wizards and how he's acting towards them. You've got the emotions of them all across very well in this chapter, and you can tell just how it's affecting all of them that she's gone.
I hope nothing bad has happened to her and that it's all just a misunderstanding :-D I can't wait to read more, I'm going to favourite this story!Author's Response: I think there's a U in there somewhere, but I'm not sure, haha. ;)
Aw thanks, I'm glad you think that. Characterization is tough for me sometimes so I'm always glad when people point that out. Glad you like it and thanks for reviewing! Report Review
Ooh. This is definitely heating up. I think you captured Harry just right; the anger, for certain. :) I'm knee deep in work so I can't leave a better review, but I'm wondering if Scorpius will come up later in the story ...
EllieAuthor's Response: I'm glad you liked how I portrayed Harry. His is definitely a difficult character. And as for Scorpius, well, he might be around. ;)
Thanks for reviewing! Report Review
Wow. Everything is starting to progress, and I really want to know more! I love James's character; he just seems like the type to hold the Potters together, when Lily's gone. But now I'm wondering if Lily's even alive .
Anyways, brilliant job, adn I can't wait to read more!
EllieAuthor's Response: There's more happening in these next couple chapters, but I can't reveal more than that! As to Lily, well, we'll just have to wait and see. I do feel so bad for her at times.
Thanks for the lovely review! Report Review
I really like this story. The Potter family doesn't seem to be the type to deal with these things well; with all that Weasley anger and Potter angst in them. I wonder where you're going to take this story ... is there something dark going on? I can't really tell yet.
Keep it up!
EllieAuthor's Response: Aw thanks for the review! No, they really aren't well equipped for drama...and as for the dark stuff, you'll just have to wait and see!
I'll be posting the next chapter on Monday. Report Review
This is a pretty great fic! I love the storyline and can't wait to see where you end up going with it. I feel so bad for the Potter family :(
On a side note, I just have to ask - do you go to Carolina? Or maybe are you just a Carolina basketball fan? If not, then ignore this, but I go there and the reference to Stilman White in here actually made me laugh out loud.
Keep up the good work and update soon!Author's Response: Aw thanks! Yeah, the Potters are going through a lot right now. The next update should be coming on Monday.
And no, I'm not at Carolina. I'm a Kentucky fan, but the enemy of my enemy is my friend so Carolina holds a special place in my heart. And the name Stilman just fit so well in the story! (I can't believe someone actually got that reference!) Report Review
Really great ff, it has love, suspense and what seams like a great plot.
Hope that you'll update soon.Author's Response: Thanks for reviewing! The next chapter will be up soon, I promise! Report Review
Another super chapter :) This was one was really good to see the dynamics of the family. I love that James is the older brother support, but it's really heartwrentching how he feels he is barely needed :( in a way I feel as though Harry should be at home with them, looking after them, but because he's not I feel for Ginny 100 times more. I wish Al wasn't apathetic and low; he cant afford to be :(
I am really excited to see what the next chapter brings! Introducing the new characters was a good move, I assure you. It prevents the story from feeling too claustrophobic, so, good move! It was actually a nice release to have the opportunity to go to James' flat and see new faces that aren't so distraught - kinda keeps us sane. Undoubtedly though it is a horrible situation to be in. The realisation from James towards the end: '...he hadnít had much of a chance to think about his baby sister. Who was missing. F-*-' just really shows the impact it has had on everyone. It is something that encompasses the whole family - even Hermione is concerned.
It's going to be fantastic to see where you take this in the next chapter!
Laura xxxAuthor's Response: Thanks so much! I've loved both of your reviews! The dynamics of the Potter family were rather difficult as their personalities are so contrasting at times. There will be more on Harry in the next few chapters and we find out more of what he is doing.
I'm glad you like the new characters! Walking the line between tragedy and normalcy is hit and miss, but not everyone is going to be distraught over Lily's absence.
I'm thrilled that you commented on James's reaction because that may be my favorite part of the story yet.
Thanks for the reviews! Report Review
Your summary really drew me in, and admittedly at first I thought this was about Lily Evans losing her life. But, once I saw it was Next-Gen I was really intrigued about what this could be.
This is a really strong first chapter. I think you've captured Ginny and Harrys relationship really well, and I kind of like that Harry is flyaway with his anger and frustration. He does seem as though he would be a stubborn but caring dad. Albus is so lovely, too. It must be so scary trying to deal with a missing sibling, but I think White dealed with him really well. Genuinely at this point I am concerned with Lily. I hope Harry isn't right and she is just at a friends. Alas, I don't think that's the case :(
Your writing style is really enjoyable and effective. You tell the story so effortlessly and really let us slip into the mystery of this. Saying that though you haven't by any means neglected any description or anything, and the dialogue is fully fleshed and so interesting, too. You're a great writer! I'll be sure to keep checking up on your authors page, too :)
For now, I'll jump on to the other chapter :) I really hope Lily gets found :(
Laura xxxAuthor's Response: Yeah, the summary used to say Lily Luna Potter, but it didn't fit when I changed it. I kind of assumed it would confuse some people, but there's not much I can do about that. :/
I'm glad you liked the way I portrayed the Potters! They're a bit different than they've been in other fics, but their situation is also different. Especially for Al, he doesn't get a chance to live a normal life.
Wow thanks! That's so sweet, it really makes my day to read reviews like this! Thanks for such nice reviews! Report Review
Gosh, I was holding my breath the whole time and my eyes were already filling with tears. I was just waiting for her to die. Good golly miss molly, thats awful I just said that, but;P
Oh, and it's Ever here with your review!
Plot: I am very much anticipating to see where you're going to take this! I can't wait to know whats happened to Lily and why Albus is so...off.
Flow: This was pretty good; I didn't see any messy transitions, so you've smoothed out the seams pretty well(:
Characterization: While he saw a lot of Harry, which I adored, we didn't see much of Ginny, and I would have liked to. I think you introduced Lily quite well, even though she wasn't physically in the story quite yet!
I would like to recommend just one thing: Try to flesh out your writing with more descriptions of imagery and the feelings. Obviously there would be a lot of tension and worry, and you should show just how tense it is. I think the descriptions really just bring the story to life even more, which is why its an important part of writing!
Keep writing, for I enjoyed reading it!
EverAuthor's Response: Aw thanks! That's exactly the kind of reaction I was going for, so it really means a lot!
I'll try to work on getting the characters more equal time. I'm glad you liked the way I've done Lily thus far!
Ooh, thanks for the note on the descriptions. That's something I've always had trouble with. I'll try to focus more on imagery, so thanks for mentioning it!
Thank you for the review! It was very helpful and I'll make sure to keep your notes in mind when writing/editing! Report Review
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