Reading Reviews for The Antidote
64 Reviews Found

Review #26, by iamlilypotter Death of a War Hero

16th October 2010:
Hi, it's me from the forums!
First off, you are a really good writer, and I think the you did the character justice in the way they acted. However, this stroy isn't exactly the kind of story I enjoy, sorry, I just feel Hermione wouldn't do something like that, despite how caring she is to everyone. It is a very creative idea, and the writing and imagery is really really amazing, just not my cup of tea :( sorry.


Author's Response: Thanks for giving it a try ;) *HUGS*

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Review #27, by MrsKatieGrint Death of a War Hero

23rd April 2010:
Interesting start. I really cannot wait to see what you do with this story. I can honestly say I haven't read anything quite like this so I am excited to see what happens! :D

Author's Response: THank you so much. I hope you enjoy the rest that is to come ;)

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Review #28, by Jane_Volturi Death of a War Hero

9th April 2010:
Hi EchoLynn

This is janeTwilight here from the forums with your review. I'm sorry that it's taken me so long to reply to your request, I've been incredibly busy recently and its ben hard for me to find an appropriate amount of time to respond, luckily i managed to find some time today!

Out of all of the requests I've recieved in the past few months, yours struck me as one of the most intriguing. As Severus is one of my most favourite characters in the entire Harry Potter series, I was very intrigued by the summary which suggested that Hermione would in some way gain an antidote to prevent his death.

I think that this is a very original idea for a plot line, it's very rare that I read any material consisting of a character going back in time to save the life of a character who has recently died. it's a nice change from all of the usual romantic- genre based stories that I would normally read.

You've quite clearly done your best to keep Hermione in character; she comes across as very compassionate and her responses to the disastrous outcomes of the war are very realistic and close to canon.

I'm still quite undecided anout whether or not her responses to Snape's death was very in-character or otherwise unnatural and out of the ordinary.

Although you highlight the fact that she's dissapointed about Tonks, Fred and Lupin's deaths, you suggest she is somehow more effected by snape's death than those of the many other who also perished in the battle of Hogwarts. I wouldn't necessarily agree with this, Snape may have been a war hero but six years of unfair treatment that he showed towards her must have affected her opinion of him just enough to level him with people such as Lupin (who she was always on good terms with).

On the other hand however, Lupin and Tonks died together, and Fred had around about eight members of his family to mourn over him, whereas Snape who gave everything to help Dumbledore and Harry, had nobody at all. In a way I could understand why Hermione would behave in such a way, you just haven't highlighted that reason which is what has led to my confusion. As I like to offer constructive critisism to everybody, I'd suggest maybe adding in an extra paragraph to describe how he had contributed so much, and had recieved the respect of so little. You don't have to of course, I thought I'd just suggest that in case though.

Otherwise, you characterized Hermione perfectly, honestly, you did a brilliant job. I was almost crying whilst Hermione cleared Snape's wounds. Very few stories manage to get much emotion out of me so I have to congratulate you there. There was a great use of emotive language in there, you expressed Hermione's sadness so clearly and precisely that I could almost feel myself going through exactly what she was going through.

You have a very nice writing style, you apply a great range of vocabulary to your writing and I could spot no mistakes.



Author's Response: Wow... thanks lol. I will take that all under advisement and thank you for the review ;)

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Review #29, by keroberros Death of a War Hero

30th March 2010:
Wow so sad! I think is really in Hermione's character to want somebody such as Snape to have a second chance at happiness and you've really portrayed not only this aspect of Hermione's character but also the others as well. I really like this style and it seems to flow really well. You give the reader just enough to hook them and want to read on to find out more as well as forming their own theories. Good Job!

Author's Response: Thank you so much Kero ;) *HUGS*

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Review #30, by lustylover Death of a War Hero

28th March 2010:
Here is my review!

Sevmione, hmm very interesting. I normally do not go towards these types of stories, but that is one of the reasons why I set up a place for people to request reviews...because I want to read new things! I think this was great. The opening is attention grabbing and immediately draws you in. I am left wanting to continue! Must read next chapter.see you then!


Author's Response: Thank you so much. I like converting people into Sevmione Shippers lol... *HUGS*

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Review #31, by Aeana Death of a War Hero

28th March 2010:
I REALLY like this concept. So many authors and readers focus on the deaths of Tonks, Lupin and Fred which were sad sure, but none affected me as strongly as the death of Snape.

I am completely engrossed in your captivating story and I simply cannot wait to see where you go with it. Keep up the excellent work xx

Author's Response: Thank you so much Aenana ;) I cried when he died... and I wanted to curse JKR for killing him... but alas its her story. So I wrote my own idea of what should have happened ;)

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Review #32, by Sleeping Paige  Death of a War Hero

27th March 2010:

What an interesting spin. Iíve never read a Severus / Hermione and Iím glad that itís so unexpected and unique. Before we get into the piece, Iíd like to take a moment before I review and tell you how things go. I'm straightforward. First off, I make general comments on the piece before I kind of walk you through everything. Well, this certainly is not what I expected and I like different pieces. Itís not a gooey teacher romance written just to have an odd canon pair. It is more of that mystery of digging up someone elseís life from the bare bones and piecing it together. She sounds like she has a lot of respect for him. Thatís not too far-fetched as far as canon goes, is it? I mean anything that she said toward Snape was really in accordance to whatever Harry or Ron said. When we get angry, we all bicker about our professors, our parents our whatever. Hermione takes a step back.

Itís interesting that you let her see Snape one last time. This makes me wonder that if, in the canon, Harry revealed that much to Ron or Hermione about the ĎPrinceís Taleí. You know? So, it sounds here that you have Hermione get that position. You show the respect towards him and have that idea of the silvery matter in the phial. Does she view this all in the Pensieve like Harry? Would that not give her a total outside perspective? The Headmaster office scene sounds a little off because of Dumbledore. But, before we even get there, I want to commend you for your comments about the dead bodies. No other writer has gone that far. Yes, itís a minor, grotesque detail, but wouldnít those corpses that were sleeping peacefully start to carry some stench? The smell of death is awful. I understand that JKR couldnít allude to that in her tone of a last chapter, but you captured that experience in one sentence.

All right. My main thing about the Headmasterís Office is that in the first scene, Dumbledore seems completely off. His voice, his tone and his mannerisms seem too modern. Heís a difficult character to master because he is ancient, rhetoric, reason, understanding, brilliance, sympathy all wrapped up into one package. I donít see how JKR mastered that and I havenít seen anybody pull that off but her. He certainly wouldnít refer to Hermione as Ďgirlí. It took me a moment to realize that she was, in a sense, getting inspiration from another dead corpse. (Thatís a good connection, huh? Iím surprised I write that! Sorry Ö) Aside from the creepy thought, though, this makes perfect sense. Were you going for the parallelism there? Be honest. I mean, ití s Dumbledore. So, except for the language, youíre doing all right.

Personally, I think you switching to any other POV but Hermione makes no sense here.

I like that the funeral service is so formal. You tie in little canon details like Andromeda and Teddy. I donít think your paragraph breaks are needed because the story flows well without them. Youíre going from this day to the next. The presentation of the Order of Merlin, First Class would probably have taken more time because they would have to clear his name. That would have both Hermioneís and Harryís evidence going up against the Wizengamot and appealing to Kingsley. Can you imagine how pissed off some people would be other that? You cannot assume that the dust settles. I think that the White Tomb thing is a Dumbledore thing, really. That irked me a little. Do you understand what Iím saying ? The entire way that you put him to rest was interesting, though.

My main thing here is that you cannot assume that all this happened as quickly as you have it. I am comparing this against the canon and I see flaws. How can she be the one to get the phial? Even so, why wouldnít she immediately sharer that with Harry? I mean, Iím there. If Harry had no watched Snape die or walk past him, he would certainly reach out to have his last say with anyone thatís in Harryís circle of friends. How, when she was searching for Horcruxes for the past year, is she an apprentice? The girl never finished school or got training. How do you excuse that? What is her initial reaction to those memories? Wouldnít she need both McGonagall and the Ministry to sign off on the project? Think about your holes. They need putty with explanation.

You explain the last part well, though. I imagine that McGonagall would need to stay at Hogwarts to fix up the damage. The test thing doesnít make sense. If you think about that, exams would have simply been forgotten or excused. I mean, JKR did it many of times. If anything, they have to reorganize the staff. Amycus, Alecto and them are all gone. Why would she bother when all the subjects have been flipped? Why would you want to test somebody over the Dark Arts? Think about whatever was in place during DH. The whole summer demanded reform. And stepping away from the September 1st tradition? Thatís a little much. Do you see my reasoning here?

I like it, really. I like fan fiction to be true to the original piece because thatís what itís for. You honor the author and you follow her conventions. I hope you consider my points.

Let me know what you think. Should we move on from here? Respond to the review and return the favor,

Sleeping Paige

8/10 Originality

Author's Response: Wow... you put a lot of thought into your review, and I commend you for that lol. As far as my chapter and the plot I have put down goes... This is just how I wanted to start my story really. Keep in mind that this is the 5th piece of work I have ever written. Ever... that includes writeing outside of fanfiction.

As far as the bit of my story that is off-cannon... well it is an AU story. I can say that I will continue to leave Harry and Ron out of the story for the most part because they are not really relevant to my plot. THis is a Sevmione... so it will revolve around them ;)

And of course I could'nt get Dumbledore right... lol. He is a hard one.

Anywho, thanks for the review! *HUGS*

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Review #33, by Jessabelle Death of a War Hero

5th February 2010:
Jesi here with your requested review!

SO sorry for the long wait. I am inexcusably irresponsible. ):

I don't usually read Sevmione stories so I was a little worried, but it's a good start!

The funeral is a really good length, and it would have been very easy to take that too far, so good job there. You have done well with characterization so far. Hermione's character seems a little different than we usually see her, but originality is always a good thing. (:

You have set a good mood so far, I am eager to continue reading. xD


Author's Response: Thank you so much! Reviewing even if you doubt it cause of it being a Sevmione is enough to have me forgive you lol. I'm always out to convert people lol. Thanks for the review!

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Review #34, by Margravine Death of a War Hero

21st January 2010:
Oh God. I am SO sorry for the unpardonable wait, but I am here (at last) for your requested review.

Very engaging, didn't pick up on any grammer issues. Would however suggest that you could ease into the 'severus is dead', I felt it was a tad too sudden, you can build up the tragedy nicely with the opening you chose.

It is a unique idea, and you're brave to go AU. Hermione's thoughts were a very nice touch. Another suggestion could be to flesh it out a bit more, things like the funeral were v. brief.

I think your characterisation is excellent, you've done well with Hermione, Dumbledore, Ron and Min.

All in all 7/10. This story has LOTS of potential

Author's Response: THank you so much. I take your hints and such as a great compliment since this is only the 5th story I have ever started... lol. THank you so much!

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Review #35, by Onna_Elwood Death of a War Hero

4th January 2010:
Hmmm... i have no idea what I think of this yet. I'll have to read further before I can form an opinion.


P.S. Sorry for the delay. I moved away from my High Speed Internet. *sobs*

Author's Response: I understand... My internet is not as great anymore either. Thank you so much for the review! *HUGS*

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Review #36, by Femme_Fatale Death of a War Hero

24th December 2009:
This was an amazing start. Honestly, this provided everything a first chapter should. I have no CC, only to say that this was amazing and I want to read more


Femme ^_^

Author's Response: Thank you for reading and reviewing! *HUGS*

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Review #37, by EnnaBellaPotter Death of a War Hero

23rd December 2009:
hey there - it's EnnaBella from the forums with your requested review!
so, far, I am thouroughly excited to see how this story turns out! your depiction of post-War Hogwarts was very detail attentive (if that makes any sense) and seemingly accurate!
like I said before, I can't wait to see how you turn this into "Severus/Hermione" fic :0 so far, so good!
well-written chapter! keep it up!

Author's Response: Thank you so much! *HUGS*

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Review #38, by AnnaKay Death of a War Hero

23rd December 2009:
I love this pairing. It's a really great pairing and I think that you are going to have a great story! I love this first chapter, and I think that you have a really good plot line, a great first chapter, and a great story idea.

I love it, and I'm excited to read!

Author's Response: Lol... thank you so much. You guys make me so happy when you enjoy what I write... makes me want to finish my original novel quicker lol... Thanks for reading and reviewing! *HUGS*

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Review #39, by theelderwand Death of a War Hero

22nd December 2009:
Very well done. Gramar, punctuation and the like are all spot on, which i always appreciate.

Good emotion throughout. I think my favorite scene has to be when she breaks down crying in the headmaster's office. One thing tho, its suggested but not clear that Harry has already told Hermione about what he saw in Snape's memories?

I'm wondering how Ron's gonna take it that she's not coming to the Burrow. not well, I'd guess.

Great Chapter. On to the next.

Author's Response: Yes, she knows of his memories. Thank you so much for reading and reviewing! *HUGS*

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Review #40, by Alassie Death of a War Hero

20th December 2009:
Hmm. This is interesting, and not something that I would usually like. Even a little bit. In fact, I would usually run screaming. But, I am intrigiued.
I guess I misjudged these without ever reading a good one. I was expecting there to be an instant, creepy love, which their isn't. It almost seems more like Hermione just has a solid, fundmental respect for Snape. I think it will be very interesting to see her clearing out his belongings. Who knows what she will find.
I wasn't surprised to see that Ron didn't exaclty love the idea of Hermione standing for Snape. But I am glad she did. The man deserves at least a little dignity, right?
Good work.

Author's Response: *muhahahaha* I feel like I'm converting the masses towards respect of my faves ship, Sevmiones lol. Thank you so much for reading despite the un-easiness... *HUGS*

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Review #41, by sillysamii Death of a War Hero

12th December 2009:
Lovely. It read just as a good book would. You used proper grammar, good description, and a nice idea. I like where you seem to be going with this, and am happy to read on. On that note...on to the next chapter :]

Author's Response: *squee* Thank you so much. That keeps the plot bunnies very happy lol. *HUGS*

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Review #42, by Estelle Black Death of a War Hero

10th December 2009:
Hi MissSpitfire/Estelle Black from the forums here
Very good chapter, I have never really thought about Hermione and Snape before, I guess because it kinda creeped me out a little, but this chapter was very sweet. After everything Hermione did for him. With his broken body as you put it she got rid of all the blood and made him all tidy, then at the funeral and then well with the last part, her in Snape's quarters mmmh wonder what will happen next.
Better keep reading
Estelle XOX

Author's Response: Lol, thank you so much. I know most people don't consider even reading a Sevmione... but in my own opinion, it makes so MUCH sense. They are so much alike, yet different enough to make it interesting. Thanks for reading and reviewing! *HUGS*

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Review #43, by dracos_hotter Death of a War Hero

5th December 2009:
Here from the forums!

Well, I'm confused. Why on Earth did she take the blood/venom? Is she going to make a Snape clone? Creepy thought. But definately a possibility.

It's full of brilliant imagery, and fabulous descriptions, but there's a distinct lack of human behavior. Did everyone turn mute when the battle ended? Are speech marks going out of fashion? Do I hate indirect speech? Why yes, it annoys me greatly.

Still, after my rant, a brilliantly written piece of work.


Author's Response: Lol... thank you. ;) *HUGS*

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Review #44, by dracoslover1 Death of a War Hero

9th November 2009:
I just have one word to say about this chapter: WOW! Out of all the characters, Hermione would be the one to sign up as Severus's family. I can see Ron giving her the cold shoulder because he can't give Severus the respect he deserves and the time he deserves. (Sorry I am very spiteful towards Ron, can't you tell?)

Overall the chapter I think is good. Your plot is starting the story off good and strong with giving us the opening of Hermione is truly sadden by the loss of Severus. There was just one grammatical/spelling error (Teddy's name needing to be capitalized) but it's not too overly major that it makes any really difference to an great chapter.


Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'll take a look at the spelling error... Thank you for reading and reviewing! *HUGS*

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Review #45, by Mary Rachel Death of a War Hero

30th October 2009:
Bravo! I am liking this story so far! It's definetly sad right now, but I like!

Author's Response: Yeah, a bit sad. But I have other plans for it later ;)

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Review #46, by Helena_Snape Death of a War Hero

28th October 2009:
Good setup. Lots of potential. My only question was Hermione's educated guess as to the password. Severus has been headmaster for a year now, and Dumbledore has been dead just as long. Severus might use Dumbledore's name as a password shortly after Albus' death, but Severus being paranoid that he is, would not have kept it that long.

Author's Response: Well, how do you know that password was'nt the most recent one? I have thought of that... but I figured a paragraph or two describing that kind of paranoid behavior would be a bit too much. Everyone who loves Snape would know how paranoid he is... no point in boring people lol. Thanks for reading and reviewing!

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Review #47, by Kalli! Your Mommy! Death of a War Hero

27th October 2009:
I really liked it, I have never read a Sevmione before! It is really heartfelt! I love Hermione's loyalty to him, very nice!

Author's Response: Lol, welcome to my world Mommy! *Giggles* Sevmione is one of my favs ;) I'm thrilled you liked it! *HUGS*

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Review #48, by Kyranissa Death of a War Hero

17th October 2009:
Wow I am EPICLY amazed! This story rocks

Author's Response: Thank you lol... Love your enthusiasm lol... *HUGS*

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Review #49, by melian Death of a War Hero

12th October 2009:
Hi there! Here with your review!

First off I want to say that I noticed that a second chapter has been validated in the time since you requested this review. Since I usually do 2 chapters per fic, I will read that one as well. :)

Okay, the way I generally review is to let my inner critic (read: grammar nazi) take over for the first bit and spell out any typos or grammatical errors I may have noticed. Then I talk about your story.

Now, for your chapter I didn't notice any errors. There may be some, but I didn't notice any, so that's a good thing! However, I did notice a sentence in your summary that I think should be re-worded :

A wizard who deserved a second chance; something Hermione would go to great lengths to make that happen.

The bit after the semicolon doesn't really flow as a sentence - it would be better if you took out the "that" so it just reads "something Hermione would go to great lengths to make happen"; OR replace "something" with "and", viz: "and Hermione would go to great lengths to make that happen".

Right. Enough of that. I noticed you didn't mention anything specific in your review request so I'll just talk about characterisation and flow and those sorts of things.

I think that this fits with canon reasonably well. I can see Hermione having a need to make sure Snape was taken care of after his death, though I did have trouble with the idea of her skipping Fred's funeral to do that. However, that's just personal opinion so I'm certainly not criticising you.

Everyone else we saw did appear to behave consistently with canon, though we didn't see enough of most of them for me to form a definite conclusion. I did love Ron's comment about Snape, that seemed EXTREMELY Ron, and you got Dumbledore and McGonagall down pat as well.

Regarding flow, I think you did very well with that too. It's not stilted and the scenes follow on naturally from each other. Your writing style is sometimes more formal than I am used to but then again that's personal taste and you didn't make any mistakes so it's more a comment than anything.

Overall this looks like a good start to a fic. I'm looking forward to reading the next chapter.

cheers, Mel

Author's Response: Wow, another awsomely extensive review lol. Thank you so much for all your wonderful comments, and for reading and reviewing! *HUGS*

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Review #50, by butter_beer_junky2499 Death of a War Hero

9th October 2009:
Nice, including a serious warning in your A/N, you do not see that very often. I assure you I am over 18, by a couple years now anyways. I turn 21 in 4 months lol. So I can read and look at whatever I want, wondering what you have for me that required this advisory sticker. YEAH! Voldemort is dead! I like to hear that. I am assuming this is your assumption of what really happened after the battle at hogwarts. Its something I never chose to think about, I closed my heart to it, only reading books 6 and 7 one time because I did not want to feel it; silly. I will come around though and I will read them, have one last go before I pass them on to my own kids someday. The Harry Potter books are classics, as far as I am concerned they have got to go down in history books and literature books, they have to be included. When we have to go back and read Animal Farm, the Odyssey, Romeo and Juliet, and things like that, I think Harry Potter must be included. I am confused what did she do with the phial and Snapes wound and is it significant to the rest of the story? God, your story is depressing, talking about the funeral has me on the verge of tears. Knock it off lol! Now that would be rather inconvenient don't you think, but I am sure it serves some sort of function. I would hate having to go back to school after a summer off, two weeks early, to take super important examinations. I mean what about the 7th years taking the Newts, they would have to wait all that extra time just to graduate. I am over thinking things, it is my own fault because I am tired. But I am sure you see where I'm coming from. Anyways I don't get how this can be a Sevmione if he's dead unless she falls in love with the memory of him, or if he did something along the lines of Voldemort, aka keep himself alive in a journal, horcruxes, and the like. But I don't think Snape would have splinched himself like that. Evil or not evil. Anyways, the teacher/students genre is catching on, strangely enough. Well done. Request again when more is posted, I would like to see where this is going.

Author's Response: Warning- Well, since I had such...concerns about a previous Sevmione, I want to make sure that I cover all bases (and my own rear) by being overly cautious ;)

Story Mood So Far- It won't be depressing forever... Keep in mind I am a 'Happily Ever After' type of girl lol.

Teacher Student- In my own personal opinion, it does'nt count since she is OVER 18 lol. I get so many people who refuse to read or review in the first place because of this issue... but she is no longer a student... she is over 18... so why label it a student/teacher thing? Okay, now I've rambled on as well lol.

Severus is Dead-Muahahaha I have a great'll just have to read every chapter to find out how this all works out lol.

Thank you so much for the review! *HUGS*

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