Reading Reviews for An Improbable Fiction
58 Reviews Found

Review #26, by justonemorefic To Restore Tradition

27th February 2012:
I am prepared for fuzzies. -braces-

Hee Rose. Stop being so sensible and inquisitive. she should go to more parties or eat more junk food or do something that teenage witches usually did I can see Scorpius being all 'stop being so smart it will not end well for me D:'


Omg I would be so offended if someone told Percy something before they told me. Also lol Rose why are your plans diabolical? Like of all the plans to have, it's to pretend they're kidnapping Cedric. That's where your mind goes first? heee, you are so silly.

“It’s simple really, but simplicity must not always save us from our sin of impropriety.” Oh, no, Hugo thought. She’s going all thesaurus on the Minister for Magic. LET ME LOVE EVERYONE. I need to use that term somewhere now. -going all thesaurus-

“Your son who ruined everything!” Rose screeched suddenly...

“Rose, I think the minister would like some tea,” Scorpius said, standing suddenly. “Let’s go find some.”
Omg they are the perfect couple I LOVE THIS SCOROSE BECAUSE THEY JUST. I CAN'T. IT'S SO CUTE.

Ugh you have such good dialogue timing.

Oh gods, that is a problem indeed. Tis a problem... ONLY A TRIWIZARD TOURNAMENT CAN SOLVE.

Heee that little insult toward Hugo that totally flew over his head, I love you Hugo. I love everyone. Love fest plz.

Marjie you are too poised and awesome. I know a girl with a similar name so I always just imagine her in Marjie's place lolol


♥ i have missed this.

Author's Response: Rose is unfortunately diabolical even though I didn't quite do that on purpose haha. I guess it's because I see Rose as the embodiment of Hermione's unbridled intelligence + Ron's bad sense. A volatile substance, surely.

And it's not really anyone's fault, Percy's just up in everyone's business.

Going all thesaurus, quite. It just seemed the only way to describe it from Hugo's POV, where semi-rhymes like "icity" and "iety" are too much to add to long words.

Scorpius and Rose are so good to each other, they're like the little old couple who is half-cray and half-adorbs.

You've got it, basically. The Triwizard Tournament is the only answer to these problems. To /all/ problems. Especially when Hugo's involved...


I have missed your reviews! Thanks for taking a bit of time to revisit Hugo + the gang :) (H) (H)

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Review #27, by TenthWeasley To Its Rightful Place

24th February 2012:
Hugo is literally the cutest thing ever. I cannot even... How do you write him so well? Because /of course/ it is like him, in some small part, to enjoy being part of a food fight and then to enjoy just as much the odor said fight produces. His little internal narrations and monologues just crack me up, and mostly because I think that in some small part, we all think like he does some time in our life. He is the eternally optimistic youth while at the same time maintaining vestiges of adulthood. At times. ♥ He is THE BEST Hugo, in short, and you deserve that title.

I have decided that you are going to teach me to write humor. Never before have I read a story that just genuinely makes me laugh quite as much as this one. This will sound horrid -- sometimes I laugh at stories because I'm supposed to, because that's what the author expects, but not here. You write /as/ Hugo as opposed to writing Hugo, which is a very significant difference, and one that is very much appreciated. And resulted in the fact that his entire exchange with Trelawney had me in giggling fits.

And Scorpius and Neville! ♥ I love that familiar camaraderie between the pair of them, especially now that Scorpius isn't a Hogwarts student anymore. It shouldn't work... but it does. There is something just so natural and appreciated about the pair of them working alongside each other in the greenhouse. :3

Myrtle! Amos! Hugo! Trelawney! More, please, more! ♥ (Not to rush you, ofc, because you are a busy literary mind.) O JOST LOVO YOO OND YOOR STORY OKOY. O SPOOK FROM THO BOTTOM OF MO HOORT~

Author's Response: I JUST DON'T KNOW. But it probably has to do with the fact that I'm a bit mental and so it's quite natural to let loose my cray. And you're right, though. I think I do write /as/ Hugo. Which is alarming, when you consider I have to have /some/ kind of control over the rest of the story and Hugo would just as soon bean the rest of the characters over the head for fun or get himself trapped in a bubble-head charm forever without realizing it...and that wasn't the exact direction I want to take this story in, if you know what I mean.

Er well first step is to not be afraid of making a fool of yourself. I also take the advice of our beloved literary hero, PG Wodehouse, and worry not about making a story realistic, but rather, having a good time and getting really entertaining characters out of it. With Adventure, it was a bit of a more serious story because it was Hugo out to find himself and reconcile himself with his outcast-y-ness from society, etc. But with this's just like, whatever I think of and think is funny, goes. (That will be two galleons, plz.) And I don't count that as a horrid thing, in fact I can imagine that the authors might feel rather gratified that you're laughing when you should, even if it's only because you should. It just seems like the setup might appreciate someone who plays according to cast, if you will.

This chapter seemed kind of awks at first, especially with Scorp-o and Neville because mostly I was worried people would be like LOL WUT IS HE DOIN HEER but I couldn't find a way to tell his story without it being HEER IZ SCORP-O'S STOREE so I took it out then it was despair because I was like BUT I NEEDZ 2 TELL DEM. And there was a lot more but I'll spare you, haha. I think what probably made it work is that I have a whole other novel full of their interaction and we both sort of remember it, so it smoothes out some details.

Don't worry, there is much, much more to come! I'm so pleased you're enjoying it so far, and thank you so much for your reviews along the way! They are making it all worth it :)

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Review #28, by academica Prologue

22nd February 2012:
Hey! :) Here from the TGS Review Exchange!

What an interesting beginning you have here! I feel like I don't really need to know what the Minister is so adamantly against in order to appreciate the humor in this short prologue. It's a very unique sort of cliffhanger.

I really like your creative choices -- Diggory would make a great Minister, and I like that you put Flitwick as Headmaster of Hogwarts (and kept poor Madam Maxime, who likely couldn't find another respectable line of work, what with being in denial about her giant blood and all). I think Flitwick is the right age, and I can hardly imagine a better Headmaster than a legendary dueling champion and Head of Ravenclaw House. Naturally, it's good that Durmstrang was able to carry on past the train wreck that was Karkaroff, as well :)

The way you described Amos's laughter was great -- the flobberworm-horklump metaphor stuck with me for a few minutes, long enough to make me smile as I imagined it. Poor people at the meeting, trying so hard to keep it together and wait out an awkward moment in stuffy business robes!

Great job. This looks promising! :)


Author's Response: Hi!

I admit the point of the prologue was to set the tone of the story, yes, not quite to explain what's happening :) So I'm glad you found it humorous!

Flitwick is my head-canon Headmaster for next-gen stories. When I started writing I thought about it a lot and he seemed a good choice! (Plus it saved me the trouble of, say, writing an OC in his place.) Amos, admittedly, is sort of the minister because I had plans that manifest later in the story, such as Cedric's ghost making a comeback and helping us develop plot (because I can't do that on my own :P)...but in any case I'm glad it's not a total what-just-happened moment, because it's so important to the story!

I've always wanted to give Durmstrang a second chance. It seems like all of Europe might have gone through a period of reconstruction after Voldemort's defeat and I didn't want Durmstrang to be beyond help :) And yes, I can't imagine Madam Maxime doing anything else, either.

Thanks so much for your review, I'm glad this short little prologue made an impression, if only that of a flobberworm/horklump :D

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Review #29, by TenthWeasley To Restore Tradition

20th February 2012:
Lily, you have rendered me into an almost-blubbering mass of quivering tears. You gave me CEDRIC and a TOURNAMENT PROSPECT for my birthday, and is anything supposed to top that? I'm searching for substitutes, but they are hard to come by. (And now, of course, I'm rendered with guilt, for I got a smattering of lovely birthday gifts. But yours is so very much appreciated. ♥)

The entirety of Hugo's little nonverbal narrations and interjections had me giggling -- I adore the way you write him. Have I told you that before? I've told you that before. I know it, and yet you must continue to know it. And really, Cedric. And Flitwick. And Amos. ALL YOUR CHARACTERS ARE FABULOUS. And sometime soon I'll be picking your brain for tips and tricks, because all that brainpower in one person is the epitome of unfair.

Flitwick who, after Percy had given up his argument with him, had promptly fallen asleep. -- (I legitimately want to give him a blanket and a teddy bear. That is the most adorable mental image ever!)

“You don’t mean to say that Mr Weasley has been made a prefect?” -- (Oh, Amos, you hit the nail right on the proverbial head. That would be quite the unbelievable fact, no? And still. Hugo needs hugs for it. ♥ I'm not sure what it is about this story that's got me giving away hugs like a strumpet, but it's always a good thing, if you were curious!)

GHOST MENTORS. OH MY ROWLING, YES YES YESSS. That is such an amazing idea. And I feel like you told me that Cedric would be mentoring, at some point -- either that or I somehow surmised it for myself, which is unlikely -- and I was subconsciously wondering about the unfairness to the other two competitors. But of course there would be two others! And now, of course, I am wondering who they might be. -squinty look-

LILY HOW DOES ONE THANK YOU FOR THIS. Oodles of caps lock and hugs do not even come close to summing up my feelings. ♥ ♥ Seriously, I adored this chapter, as I adore all your chapters, and I adore you in addition. I seriously cannot wait until chapter 8 -- hopefully later tonight! -bouncing of excitement abounds-

♥ More hearts for youuu. THANK YOU SO MUCH, SERIOUSLY.


Anyway. I'm glad you felt this was a fulfilling birthday gift, I meant to give you three chapters but nine is giving me a hard time of it at the moment.

Honestly it feels almost so natural to write Hugo that I don't realize how he must look to you. I felt almost bored with this chapter writing it, I guess because I'm used to Hugo chapters being a lot more action-packed, but I'm determined to take my time and give all these preparations the attention they need. But really, that's a bit beside the point; I'm so pleased that you're liking the characters! It's always been my favorite part of writing, making characters, if that isn't clear by how much I write about them as opposed to writing about things that happen which might sometimes be called plot, I don't really know.

BAHAH brainpower, what? What is that?

I'm reserved myself but sometimes I want to hug Hugo as well :)

Well, there needs to be something interesting and weird for me to write about! It will be a trouble, though, writing all these ghost characters, making them believable. But there's a whole chunk I have of this story dedicated to hunting them down which should be fun! I put this idea through the mill though, because Fleur and Krum are both still alive. I like my compromise; we'll see what you think of it ;)

So much adoration, I don't know if I'm very worthy! But I'm so glad you enjoyed this, and a big YOU'RE WELCOME FOR ALL OF IT from me!! (h)

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Review #30, by hhrgrock For Malarky

18th February 2012:
Wow! That is amazing. Just while, terrific i am loving your story.

Author's Response: I'm pleased you're enjoying it, and thank you for letting me know what you think :)

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Review #31, by hhrgrock And Potential

18th February 2012:
Nice!! This is my type of book. You are doing well so far...

Author's Response: Thanks so much! I don't even know if it's actually /my/ type of book so I'm always glad when someone else is enjoying it. Thanks for taking time to let me know what you think! :)

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Review #32, by hhrgrock Prologue

18th February 2012:
WHAT! Stupid minister, no offence!

Author's Response: Sometimes even the best of us can let our emotions get in the way of the correct decisions :) Hope you keep reading, there might be some rectifying information in later chapters for you!

thanks so much for leaving a review.

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Review #33, by luna_lovely To Persuade the Minister

20th January 2012:
I was really excited when i saw that there was a sequel to "It's Called Adventure", now all i can say is you better update soon! i want to know what has happened in the last two years, how has the Hugo/Margiie relationship progressed? what will happen next? How long will Cedric stick around? so many questions hahaha :P UPDATE SOON PLEASE!

Author's Response: haha hi! i'm glad you liked adventure, it's my baby and the first novel i have completed. i spent a lot of time on it and grew to love and believe in the characters, so i started the sequel against my better judgement :P

i'm hoping more of the hugo/marjie relationship will be explained in the chapters that follow this latest one. i can tell you though, just so you don't get your hopes up tooo-ooo much, there's a reason this story isn't listed under the 'romance' genre ;)

cedric will stick this story out. i feel i can tell you this without ruining the plot for anyone! he'll sort of join in on the whole bromance thing i think. i'm having too much fun writing his character to let him go, honestly.

next, well, i can't give away too much because, as i'm sure you've noticed, this was a very plotty chapter and the next few will also progress the plot along a linear timeline. i will do my best to update in a timely manner! i have a one-shot i need to publish, but i do have part of chapter 7 written for this, so it should be definitely updated by the end of february. i'm hoping to get to chapter 10 by st. patrick's day to stay on schedule for completing the novel entirely this year!

thanks so much for your review, i really appreciate your enthusiasm :)

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Review #34, by SilentConfession Prologue

9th January 2012:
Hi Aiedail, i've made the horrible realization in the past few days that i have not given you the reviews i promised you for winning that challenge i set ages ago! I had given the runner up hers and i guess i thought i had already written yours! Please accept my sincerest apologies, you have no idea how horrible i feel! I believe it was three reviews to any story so i thought i'd start here.

First of all, i loved the banner to this story! It soo good and makes me feel like this story is going to be some grand and dreamy adventure.

I love the beginning of this and Amos Diggory as minister? I think that fits perfectly for some reason. I'm assuming he's saying no to the Triwizard Tournament, yes yes? Please tell me i'm right :D That makes obvious sense why with that and the summary it seems like Hugo's adventure to not only convince Amos, but win the whole thing! I like the sound of it already.

Your writing tone is wonderful! I could gush about how easy it is to read your work and it's very distinct and different from anything i've ever read before. I don't really know how this whole thing will turn or what really to expect but you have a great first chapter here and i'm already hooked!

Sorry again for forgetting about giving you these reviews! I may through in an extra one for good measure :D

Author's Response: Hello!

Absolutely no worries! Life and things happen, I definitely understand :)

I also adore this banner. Gina is a goddess! (Don't tell her I said that she'll get arrogant haha)

Amos Diggory as minister. It's something I'm genuinely happy that people are receiving well because honestly I sort of put him there so that I could write ghost Cedric, and it seemed an easy way to introduce conflict and make way for Hugo woe. You're right, of course, about him saying no to the tournament, and I'm not just saying that cause you asked :P

Aw thank you so much :) I'm always pleasantly surprised when people enjoy my writing in this piece, or adventure, because as you say they are a bit different in tone and structure than a lot of stuff here. Still, I'm pleased, and it just feels right for this kind of story, for these characters!

No worries again, I appreciate your reviewing at all!


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Review #35, by choufleur To Persuade the Minister

3rd January 2012:
Flitwick makes me giggle so much - how he's sharp in head, gasps in surprise at thing he already knows... love him so much!
You get Percy just right - the italics used on /in cahoots/ is just spot on!
And Cedric's speech - I can just imagine him reciting it - if it were me, I'd probably forget what I was supposed to say half way through or summat. Kudos to ghost Cedric!
oh, and Hugo calling Neville and Scorpius for company and because he can't have an adventure without them... baw so cute!
Once moe, a brill chapter!

Author's Response: Hahah thank you! I love Flitwick, he's turned into more of his own character and less of my ideas as I've written him more. I'm admittedly making him an exaggeration of the potential for silliness we saw in the books, so I'm glad it's not bothersome. I think a lot of the characters in this story are a kind of exaggeration, so maybe that's why it works.

I love the phrase /in cahoots./ I can just imagine Percy saying it in disgust. Percy's so cute, he thinks he's this big shot and really he's just the nerdy prefect he's always been :))

I would also forget halfway through! I should have given him ghost note cards or something. But I don't know, maybe you get smarter as a ghost! It could happen, they've invented ghost /food/ after all ;)

I had to bring the trio back together and I've had this scene in mind since I started /planning/ this novel. Hugo is wholly dedicated to the integrity of his little rag-tag team :)

Thank you so much for the review, I'm glad you're enjoying the story so far!

- lily

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Review #36, by justonemorefic To Persuade the Minister

3rd January 2012:

Everybody gasped, including Flitwick, who had gotten carried away with his own suspense and had nearly surprised himself.

Cedric is old. Poor old Cedric.

“Gross, Uncle Perce as a youth,” Lolol Percy, still with the rules. I love you, my second favorite Weasley boy.


“Dad?” the sack in the corner asked. Nobody paid it any attention. OMG AHAHAH POOR CEDRIC. AHAHA. I CAN'T.

“I like that hat on you, it’s a nice colou--” / “Now is not the time to be speaking of the colour of hats!” SHOT DOWN.

“No,” Hugo responded. “But now that they’re here, they might as well stay, right? I can’t have any kind of adventure without them!”


♥ I love you so much.


but also :)

Anyways. I was cackling so, so much when I wrote that Flitwick sentence. It's the stupidest thing but somehow still hilarious and somehow it doesn't seem like, wait, that could never happen.

Cedric is tragically old for a seventeen-year-old! It's probably embarrassing, I should make him feel more embarrassed about that.

Percy and the rules are almost married except for Percy already has a wife and young child. But the rules are still there, ever-looming, ever-faithful. (Yep.)

Ofc Scorpius and Neville! Hugo basically summed things up.

And omg I was crying I laughed so hard at myself when I was writing Cedric in the sack in the corner. I mean, I don't know how it even happened but all of a sudden they needed to make their "kidnapping" look authentic then Cedric is ruining it by having this speech ready and they're all just like WAIT WE'RE SUPPOSED TO HAVE KIDNAPPED YOU WHAT IS THIS~

but more ramifications of this confusion in the next chapter.

I know, poor Scorp. Can't even give his girl a compliment without trouble. I guess that's how it is once you've been stabbed, you're a marked man.

I LOVE /YOU,/ THOUGH. Thanks so much for reviewing (h) (h)

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Review #37, by justonemorefic And Another Plan

3rd January 2012:
OH YAY I GET TO BE A PERPETUAL SOURCE OF ENTERTAINMENT :3 I feel loved and slightly used, the best kind of feeling.

FISH EXPRESSION. The best kind of expression. And the metaphor continues with her chocolate life vest, oh Lily, this is gold.

She’d read every book in existence, Hugo was sure, many of them even more than once. Please just keep saying all the things and thinking all the things Hugo.

Omg omg omg Flitwick's logic. It is going like a mile a minute and he is completely using logic in a way a wizard would. That is, with complete wild abandonment. Loool Rose, you write like one of my friends.

HEE THE ELK. FLYING. ELK. “You know, the air up there is quite magical, there were bound to be casualties.” God I love your next gen. Of course they would manage to get into a war with elk and Greenland. THEY SET THE PRIZE ELK ON FIRE. OH MY GOD LOL. And I thought setting the tablecloth on fire while you're pretending to be a guy was bad. Of all the ways to start a war.

Omg is this totally a jab at the trope? It’s difficult for me to remember, at times, that war does not revolve around You-Know-Who in every case.” This is totally a jab. Hee.

Flitwick couldn’t help but notice that Hugo looked much more excited than one would expect at the prospects of partying with Percy Weasley, I CAN'T.

I would be jealous of the puffy blanket too.

THERE ARE SO MANY THINGS TO QUOTE. I JUST REALLY CAN'T. “Oh, dear!” Flitwick exclaimed. “I suppose we left her there, didn’t we? On the kitchen floor?” He looked very concerned for a moment, and Marjie stared at him, but then he settled back into a contented smile and said, “Well, the house elves will take care of her, anyway.” DYING.

Every single chapter you write is like a joy made up of the fuzziest knit scarves wrapped around a kitten. ♥


Of course I mean that in the best way but you understand :P

Hugo will always think all the things. He's special but there's still no real danger of him stopping with that any time soon. And I'm convinced that Flitwick's logic is basically the only kind. Wizard or not. Probably this is heinous to you, computer programmer, but to an English major this is the height of philosophy.

I loved writing Rose's article. SUPER CATHARTIC.

The elk thing came to my magically. It's the only explanation. I mean, I look back and am so amused that it's basically impossible this idea is not magical in and of itself. I just love what these characters and this world have/has come to. It's so entertaining.

PSH TABLECLOTH. Nothing compared to prized, flying elk hide.

YES IT'S A JAB~ So glad this was not completely overlooked :) I'm just going to leave that at that.

I just literally giggled out loud when I read that partying with Percy sentence. Part of this is sleep deprivation, I'm sure, and part of it is the fact that these characters have completely taken charge of themselves and basically write this story. Also I am my favorite comedian so it all makes sense.

Those house elves are the savior of the race I'm sure. Especially since Flitwick is in charge of a significant portion of it.

THANKS SO MUCH FOR THE REVIEW, I'm so sorry it took me a long time to respond (h)

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Review #38, by TenthWeasley To Persuade the Minister

2nd January 2012:
Everybody gasped, including Flitwick, who had gotten carried away with his own suspense and had nearly surprised himself. -- YOUR FLITWICK IS JUST TOPS. That's all I can say there. You just... I don't know what it is about him, but you /understand/ him. And while that might not be the most flattering thing in the world, being told you understand an old man, it is very, very impressive.

Hugo let out a loud gasp. “You’re old!” he said, pointing an accusing finger in Cedric’s direction. -- And Hugo strikes again with his endearing lack of knowledge for the rules! Bless you, you dear boy, let me give you lots of hugs.

... none other than Headmaster Flitwick, accompanied by Percy, Rose, and Hugo Weasley, as well as Marjorie Barrows, and a tall, lean, floating burlap sack. -- LOL WOT A FLOATING SACK. Cedric, why would anyone cover up your lovely mug in burlap? V. preposterous.

“Dad?” the sack in the corner asked. Nobody paid it any attention. -- LOL THIS WHOLE THING HAD ME DYING. /DYING/. I have not laughed so hard since... I really don't remember. That whole visual is just brilliant, and it is to date my very, very favorite thing you have ever written.

“But now that they’re here, they might as well stay, right? I can’t have any kind of adventure without them!” -- NO YOU CANNOT. ALLL THE ADVENTURES FOR THE DYNAMIC TRIO.

Oh, my. In reading back over that I can see that that's just a lot of quotes and caps and flailing, and I really do apologize, but this is legitimately one of my all-time favorite stories. There's adventure and humor and suspense and even a wee bit of romance, and it just all melts together and I could have asked for nothing better than this. /Nothing/. And your writing style -- you probably don't want to hear this again, but TOO BAD, I'LL SAY IT ANYWAY -- I just want to steal it and sort of morph it and be like LOOK HOW AWESOME I SOUND. 'Cause you dooo. ♥

Ahem. All that aside, your story is fantastic. Just brilliant. An explosion of awesome. AND I CANNOT WAIT FOR MOAR.

Author's Response: Dear Merlin Jane you always make me laugh. Understanding an old man like Flitwick is certainly...something to be a source of amusement at the very least :P And I nod towards your being impressed.

Hugo sometimes surprises me. I'm like, really Hugo, how did you survive to be seventeen? OMG HE IS OF AGE. There must be apparating fiasco in the future, DON'T LET ME FORGET THIS.

Jane but I WAS DYING while I wrote about Ced in the sack. It just kind of came out of nowhere and he was totally ruining Rose/Flitwick's plan to kidnap him because he definitely just takes charge of the situation at the end with his nice and pretty speech and everyone else is supposed to be in charge and it's just like..woah you are alive cedric. FO REALS.

I'm so glad it's your favorite. There were tears of mirth. TEARS I SAY. And I was /writing it/ which makes me look a little lame, a little cray, but mostly just really appreciative of good imagery.

The trio is a package deal. Adventures do not happen without all of them!

I love your caps and quotes and especially the flailing! I'm so glad you like this so much, you're very encouraging to me as I set out on this brand new adventure! I know you know this well but it's intimidating to wrangle a big story into something that an amateur can write but I aspire to write a really good next-gen tournament fic, and I hope that's what I'll do :) Of course, I'm not good in real life about taking compliments, but over da internetz I can take it (h)


- lilz

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Review #39, by WitnesstoitAll To Persuade the Minister

2nd January 2012:

I CANNOT EVEN BEGIN TO TELL YOU HOW EXCITED I AM THAT NEVILLE AND SCORPIUS ARE PART OF THE TEAM AT LAST. Hugo really can't have any adventures without them. BROMANCE~ I loved this chapter so much. I feel so badly for Amos. I have to imagine that seeing thirty year dead ghost son would be slightly traumitizing. If it were me in his position, I'd be on the floor with madam pomfrey in shock.

I did giggle at the thought of ghost cedric stuffed in a sac calling out dad. LOL. Too funny.

Another fantastic chapter.


But seriously, they have to be here! I don't think that, despite Rose's sisterly affection or Marjorie's good sense and care anyone really understands how to deal with Hugo's eccentricities like Scorpius and Neville. I've been doing a lot of thinking about how their relationship may have progressed in the two years between Adventure and this story, and I can't imagine it being anything less than what it became on their five-day trek into the forbidden forests. JKR was absolutely the author of this idea but it's so true--there are some things you just can't go through with people without becoming friends by it.

I admit that I was not really thinking too much about poor Amos, but it would probably be something really horrible for him. He'll probably faint at the beginning of next chapter, haha. (And I was giggling too when I wrote Cedric in the sac. Originally he wasn't supposed to say anything but once I started writing he just kind of started doing whatever he wanted!)

Thanks so much for your reviews and support, MEL (H)

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Review #40, by WitnesstoitAll And Another Plan

2nd January 2012:
Lily, I'm leaving this review in celebration of the holiday! Thank you so much for the shout out. Please excuse the short length of it, I'm very anxious to read all the things. I love ghost cedric. He's a bit peculiar, his dialogue is amusing and his general I don't know derpy attitude is love. Lol. Trinkets. gotta watch out for them. I loved the little bit of background info about ghostland (which I imagine to be a bit of like an amusement park) and I can't wait to see what is next. Onward and upward!

Lovely work as always.

Author's Response: HI MEL.

Ofc, you've been such an encouragement with this fic! I couldn't even tell you all the times I was stuck on something and my first impulse was to /find mel and ask her about it/ haha. (h)

For me, basically derp = fab. I'm glad you approve of the general derpiness I've attributed to Ced because it will not go away as far as I can tell.

Trinkets are so dangerous! No but I've actually had conversations about this; the word trinkets is dangerously ambiguous, there are so many deadly things that the word could imply and we don't even think about it.

Ghostland, also...should be an amusement park. I admit that to me it looks more like a Main Street in a small beach-front town, complete with a sea-side inn and Ghosted Flakes, but I may just have to assimilate your idea because it's obviously a lot better.

Thanks so much for the review :))

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Review #41, by dirtydeedsdonedirtcheap And Another Plan

31st December 2011:
Last I knew of myself in Ghostlandia, I was sitting on a rock by the sea eating Ghosted Flakes. Then I turned up in the plumbing of the prefect's bath--and I have to say, I like what you've done to the place--and then I ran into Hugo here

WHY MUST YOU BE SO AMAZING! NO SERIOUSLY! YOU'RE AMAZING! YOU DESERVE SOME GHOSTED FLAKES...ERR...WELL...that would mean you were a ghost and that wouldn't be very good for you or any of just some regular flakes...and...ah...heh.


I have to say first that I did not realize this was the sequel to your other fic, you know? So, I feel a bit foolish reading this first and then the other one second but what's done is done. Either way this chapter was amazing! I don't really have any questions because I know you're going to throughly tell us what's going on. I was a bit amazed at the war, no, excuse me, the cold war because all the wars that are ever mentioned in fanfiction have to do with World War II. Oh and leaving Pomfrey on the floor like that! That kind of made me chuckle but I forgot about her. Hugo is still adorable and Cedric matches him in the adorable race. I always thought Cedric was a bit dim though.

Happy New Year! :D

Author's Response: WHY HELLOAH.

I'd take Ghosted Flakes any day, it'd be a novel experience.

But this may be one of those rare occasions in life when it's appropriate to say it's the thought that counts, as it were.

Honestly I tried to write this so that anybody could read it. I think that sequels should be like that -- cue metaphysical rant, excuse me -- I mean there will obviously be gestures towards the preceding installment, but works of literature should stand on their own, too :) So, that being said, I don't mind that you read these out of order, reading the first first and second second is too mainstream anyways, my hipster friend.

I'll certainly attempt to answer questions that come up in this chapter, with a checklist and everything. You know, that's what I did for the last one, went through and made a checklist of things that I needed to tie up, questions that needed answering.

The war is one of those things where I was like WOULDN'T IT BE FUNNY IF---and most people immediately said NO, LILY, IT WOULD /NOT/ BE FUNNY so I stuck it in a story. I'm rather proud of my cold war, beginning with a spark and all. And honestly, again, I /did/ forget Madame Pomfrey then I got like 2000 words down the line and was like...well...shoot. We left her there Watson!

I don't blame you for always having thought Ced was a bit dim...because the Weasley boys certainly wanted all women-folk to see him that way, and for all his strengths, there's nothing to say that he wasn't. Dim-wits can be lovable, although, I have to say, somebody in this story needs to be somewhat reasonable, so that task falls occasionally to Cedric. I find that even with this task he's still able to hammer down on unsuspecting citizens now and again with his ghost fists of doom.

And thank you! I shall do my best to make this year a happy one, although the new sort of comes with it :) Happy new year to you, too, and thank you so much for the review, I'm glad you're enjoying the story so far! x

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Review #42, by TenthWeasley And Another Plan

29th December 2011:
HUGO AND GHOST-CEDRIC ARE HERE AND THE WORLD IS ONCE MORE SPINNING ON ITS AXIS. And while I'm at it -- a thousand heartfelt apologies for the numerous pokes at you and your writing brain. I shall be mute until chapter 6 while you sort out your lovely plot and lovely characters (GHOST-CEDRIC ♥) and not be such a nuisance. :3

This was, by and large, worth waiting for and more! I absolutely love the /detail/ you have put into this -- it seriously blows my mind. You have the entire war with Greenland thing so well thought-out, and I was chuckling so much over my mug of coffee over here at the visual of mysterious rubber ducks and fiery elks and tea-stained chaise lounges. :D I just... that's so genuinely humorous, but in a way that you almost don't know it's humor; it's straight-faced, straight-man humor at its absolute fan fiction best. No one else could pull it off half so well.

And now (and you knew this was coming), a bit of the squeals about your ghost-Cedric. He is just ADSKFJDFHSK ADORABLE. I want to hug him, but apart from the fact the only result would be the feeling of being drenched in icy water, he'd probably just be thoroughly confused. You've written him so well, and it wasn't what I expected at all. And I'm so glad it's not what I expected, because your ghost-Cedric is a million times better.

And Percy makes another entrance, too -- he is one of my favorites! This story just has it all, doesn't it? And so we set down to find out what sorts of unfinished business or debts Cedric might have, and how the tournament and the war with Greenland will unfold, and I'm just getting more and more snuggled into this plot. :3 I honestly cannot wait to see what you do with it. And some of my favorite lines --

“Excuse me,” Cedric interrupted. “I have biographies?” (I don't know why, but this just tickled me. So adorable! Cedric, let me love youuu. ♥)

“Because Madam Pomfrey was chasing me with a block of chocolate,” he said. (HAA I TOTALLY FORGOT ABOUT HER. Poor woman, all fainted over her chocolate block. That is the best image ever.)

Lily, this is so good. I just... it's /so good/. I can't say any more than that, because my brain goes all fuzzy. (Nargles?) I am on tenters and hooks for the next chapter, because I know it's going to be brilliant. Thank you so much for fulfilling my Christmas wish, and I'll see you next chapter! ♥

Author's Response: Never apologize! If it hadn't been for your consistent pokes this chapter wouldn't exist, so. Take that for apologies! HAHA.

I'm so relieved that this was worth the wait, because it was a pitifully long wait, and I should never have put it off so long. Although I did tell you my excuses, there's still really no reason it should have been so long between updates. My goal is to finish this novel before the world ends in 2012, so I'll have to be better at this than I currently am.

Anyways, with Cedric, I'm trying to dramatize his treacly politeness but spice things up with violent mood swings, only because I think it's really hilarious. It doesn't, unfortunately, tie into this great big theme or plot thingy, but I see no harm in it! He occasionally acts as the voice of reason, too, which is helpful because nobody else in this fic is at all reasonable. Besides perhaps Neville, but he has yet to make his entrance. NEVILLE! WHEREFORE ART THOU?

even though that doesn't really mean where are you, I'm going to use it that way. Because I feel like it.

Anyways. Percy will be very Percy-ish, as can only be expected. I like him very much, because he's trying really hard to be all posh and proper and dignified when really he's a goob, and everyone else can see that. Especially Rose. I also love Rose, because she has all of Hugo's sass potential but the brains, too.

I've rather surprised myself with Cedric's tie-ins to this plot, mostly because I'm a fan of small and male-dominant casts, and his involvement involves women, and of course the crack-pot minister for magic, as is only natural. But I'm really looking forward to writing some shenanigans and using his lack of a physical, substantial form to his and probably Hugo's advantage. MUAHAHA.

I have a confession: I actually forgot about Madame Pomfrey, too. I just left her there on the floor! But, I have mucho faith in the house elves' abilities to work as a team to carry her to the infirmary, so I trust she'll be okay.

Nargles, definitely! BUt thank you so much for the compliments and for the review, of course. I'm really glad you're enjoying reading this as much, it seems, as I enjoy writing it! Next update...will be...sometime. Ahem.

(h) (h)

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Review #43, by TenthWeasley For Malarky

16th December 2011:
Ghost Cedric is literally the best thing that's happened to fan fiction since... I really don't know. Hugo, I'd probably say, if I had any semblance of coherency left in my tired old bones. But legitimately, he is continuing to be my ABSOLUTE favorite character in this story, and one of my favorite you've ever written. He might even beat out Hugo. It could happen, yo.


“Cedric,” he said, though Cedric had proceeded to pummel the suit of armor thoroughly before Hugo’d been graced with the impulse to speak. “Ghost Cedric, please follow me to the kitchens.”

For such a volatile apparition it was surprising that simple courtesy would be the thing to incite the transformation, but yes, as it happened, ghost Cedric stopped hammering his ghost fists down upon the suit of armor and looked curiously in Hugo’s direction.

Even to a ghost it is plain to see that running from a woman with ten pounds of chocolate cradled in her apron is pure foolishness.

“Mr Weasley,” Flitwick said in a jovial tone. “Please extricate yourself from underneath that table.”

(I have to stop myself there -- a review primarily compiled of things you wrote and already know does no one any good, after all!)

I have lots of admiration for your ability to write humor, and your writing style in general (as I've said before... and said before again...). I just -- I can't really describe it, but it's like nothing else I've ever read, and it's just so... WHAT IS IT. I am obviously struggling for words, but it's so natural and yet intelligent, and you obviously put lots of thought and care into your characters and plot. And it really, really shows.

WOW THAT WAS SUCH A RAMBLE. I really apologize, but honestly, ghost Cedric is fabulous and he makes me giddy. I blame him. THIS IS SO GOOD.

And oh my gosh, I just realized I have to /wait for the next chapter/. This has never happened to me before and I don't think I can take the shock of it. PLEASE UPDATE SOON~ ♥

Author's Response: AH. that's quite a grand statement! I'll thank you for it nonetheless :)

I think your already-fondness of Ced could probably help him beat out Hugo, but Hugo will always probably be MY favorite! Besides Professor Neville, perhaps.

It could do you good, and me. I rarely go back and actually read what I've written after I click the little 'SAVE CHAPTER' button. Which is probably not the best strategy as I'm sure there are typos and stuff but...anyways.

I find the humor is just inherent in this story. Some things refuse to be written without containing a certain element or tone, and for me, these stories have to have that, or they could get dark quickly. After all, the tournament is a dangerous and sort of a really intense--dripping intense!--crawling from the bowels of history sort of thing. You have to add some comic relief to the whole ordeal if you expect to enjoy it, or anybody else to enjoy it. (I also find that unless I'm in a "genre" mood, humor is my safety. In this kind of way. Probably what I get for reading so much Wodehouse :P)

Unfortunately, "lots of thought and care into ...characters and plot" requires TIME. which is sad when I know there are people waiting for updates (ALL FIVE OF YOU GASP) but I want to make this story something (ahem that it doesn't take me a year to edit afterwards) that is worth waiting for, and something that I feel I can be proud of. That, too, takes time, no matter how much I've learned or how much natural "talent" I have. I think in general that's true for everybody. Your best writing is usually rewriting; I think it's just a general rule.

Not that certain people can't produce really good work the first time around. Or that I should even be discussing this in response to your review? But anyways, I'm going to try to get an update out today (Monday) or tomorrow (Tuesday), as I'm a few paragraphs in to chapter 5 :)

And waiting is good for the soul! I'll try and ease your pain and get the next few chapters up, soon! (H) (H)

Thank you for the review, as ever.

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Review #44, by TenthWeasley And Potential

15th December 2011:
I SWEAR I'M HERE. ♥ I have been meaning to come by here for /ages/, and I'm only here now as a highly effective reward technique I've developed in studying for AP statistics. Which may or may not go well, depending. We shall see. BUT NO MATTER.

I have been waiting so anxiously, and a bit less than patiently, for ghost!Cedric. Ever since you told me he'd be making appearances in the sequel, I hustled through the chapters with as much haste as could be managed in still remembering the story's events, because I was so excited. And you have DEFINITELY got me hooked on him already -- not a hard task, of course, but nonetheless an important one! -- because nearly every line he spoke had me giggling out loud. That's the sort of magic your writing seems to do to me, and I am so, so glad you are writing Cedric in such a believably humorous and likable way.

And Hugo makes his reappearance, too! I love his unicorn, by the way -- ingenious idea, that. :3 I can't help but feel sad when he's sad, though, and although my heart screams NO HUGO LOOK WHAT HAPPENED TO CEDRIC DON'T ENTER THE TOURNAMENT, my fic-adoring self must let him, for a) the plot must progress, and b) nobody likes a sad Hugo.

I really must repeat how much I adore your Cedric. :D And your writing style too, of course -- as always -- for it just seems so natural and fsdfkjslfjslfk. I am envious of it, but you must always maintain it, for it is very /you/. And you is a good thing to be.

PARDON THE RAMBLING. I just read over that and cringed, but I'm too lazy to erase, and you might derive a modicum of chuckling out of it. In all seriousness, I really do love this story -- not that I'd ever doubted I would -- and I'm really hoping to get to chapter 4 tonight, if studying doesn't take over. You're so good, Lily, really, and every time I read something of yours, there's a little happy place within me. ♥

(I apologize for the continued ramblings. Again. PLEASE LOTS OF UPDATES AND THINGS?)

Author's Response: LALALA JANE!!

Don't worry about it! The holidays have properly eaten me alive, and they haven't even actually started yet. I understand exams, too, BELIEVE YOU ME.

First of all. I'm very fond of Hugo, too, don't forget it! Of course you could use my fondness for Scorpius against me, but hey, he's alive and well now, isn't he?

I'm VERY HAPPY that you and ghost Cedric are getting along, as you're basically the queen of Cedromance. Hopefully I shall break into the royalty of Cedbromance sometime soon, because we're a progressive monarchy as far as I can tell. There's a chance for upward mobility in ff kingdoms!

My writing style comes and goes I find, so that's why updates have been scarce. Especially with all this schooling stuff, my style is shifting, though I still honestly won't ever really be so different that you wouldn't recognize me. If you couldn't, I'd use a word like CONGLOMERATION or something and you'd be like yeah, there she is.

I love rambling! I DID DERIVE A MODICUM OF CHUCKLING. I love that phrase. Thanks so much, though! It's always an encouragement to me to hear that somebody out there has enjoyed anything they read of mine, because while writing is largely a solitary art, we do it partly, even if it's a very small partly, for other people to read.

There should be a few updates in the next few weeks if I can help it. I figure if I can get to chapter 7ish before I go back to classes I'll be on par. I'm thinking there'll probably be a lot of chapters to this story, though, since by nature of the tournament it has to survive a whole school year, and not just a couple weeks, like Adventure.



I might need your help.

Anyways, thank you for the review, dear, and I'm onwards to reading your review for chapter 4 immediately :) (h)

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Review #45, by justonemorefic For Malarky

5th December 2011:
Biscuit thief :3 This boy can only get more perfect. Hee, I love that he calls him Ghost Cedric.

in recent years the students of the Hogwarts population had been sneaking out after hours and funneling regularly through the last-standing secret exit way from the castle into Hogsmeade, where they had a monthly contract drawn up with Aberforth Dumbledore, who traded his secrecy for the business these late-night students brought him. THIS IS SO PERFECT, OF COURSE YOU WOULD ABERFORTH. And really, Hogwarts has to have a social scene somehow.

Brown-nosy prefects. No one likes authority! So there!

before the matronly healer had made her way down the corridor with her large block of chocolate and small chisel oh my god Bea would kill to have that sort of treatment. Even to a ghost it is plain to see that running from a woman with ten pounds of chocolate cradled in her apron is pure foolishness. Wizards, you never do anything halfway do you?

Omg, that whole paragraph explaining repertoir. How people see me, you know, but not with your actual real eyeballs. Repertoir isn't even a word, silly goose.

He dove underneath a table, covering his head, and in his panic cast a bubble-head charm on himself in place of a disillusionment spell. BAWWW HUGO.

“Mr Weasley,” Flitwick said in a jovial tone. “Please extricate yourself from underneath that table.” Hee, the delivery. Flitwick, I will never tire of you and your jolliness.

THIS CHAPTER FILLED ME WITH SUCH JOY with the bromancing and food and adorable Hugo ♥ SQUISH ALL THE THINGS.

Author's Response: Heee--Hugo has always been a biscuit thief to me, opportunities are just arriving to exploit that character trait. Unconsciously I've sort of given Hugo a thing with /naming/, like it's easier for him to call Neville /Professor/ Neville even though they're family friends.

Aberforth definitely needs /somebody's/ business, so he presented himself as a great option when I was considering ways that students would have been able to get out of the castle without people in the surrounding places making a fuss. I haven't honestly given tooo much thought to the social scene but, of course, that's probably because I can put it out of sight, and of course, we know what happens after that.

Prefects are losing their touch, anyways, under Flitwick as I've written him nobody is very fond of traditional authority.

Bea /would/ probably enjoy it a lot more than Hugo, although I can imagine that even for a tiny moment she might resent somebody trying to /force/ her to eat it. Because honestly, who wouldn't love chocolate?

Hugo isn't bound to society by their measly grammatical structure! He can make up words any time he wants! He /did/ save the world from self-destruction, so we should allow him a little leniency. Of course, ghost Cedric doesn't know that, so he's just acting with Hugo's best interest in mind.

For some reason that doesn't make sense to me, I actually really like Flitwick's jolliness too. I'm sure it would bother me to no end in real life. I'd be a lot more like Neville is in terms of him, but writing him is an unceasing joy.

THANK YOU GINA~ I'm trying to get these chapters out with some semblance of regularity, and because they're shorter than Adventure chapters this might not be too lofty a goal. We'll see, I guess.


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Review #46, by dirtydeedsdonedirtcheap And Potential

28th November 2011:
This story is going to be filled with adventure and quick wit. AWESOME! I'M EXCITED IF YOU COULDN'T TELL BY THE CAPS! Anyway.the reactions by all of Hogwarts was my favorite. And Hagrid! Every story needs a Hagrid and you wrote him perfectly. Ah! So jello of your writing ability!

Author's Response: I certainly hope my wit will be quick, I've never really enjoyed a story where the wit is slow to work, except for, I think, when it's Hugo and he's trying to work something out. That's entertaining to me as well.

And adventure is a guarantee. I impart this to you.

Caps, I find, are always a good indicator of excitement. I employ them often.

I'm glad you appreciate the congregation, and Hagrid. I've always wanted to write Hagrid, and he was perfect for that lamentation I thought.

Haha, I find most of this "ability" comes down to practice, so don't worry, keep at things and everything sort of comes together after a while!

Thanks so much for your reviews, I really appreciate them! :)

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Review #47, by dirtydeedsdonedirtcheap A Slight Problem

28th November 2011:
Ah! This was even better than the first chapter. You know this is quite interesting to me but I won't comment on the plot and all that just yet because I can't wait to see Cedric's ghost. I really love how you have characterized Flitwick! You make him seem so rough and tough and how dare Percy get such a 'tude with him! It was a bit 'tudeish but I'll let it slide because your Percy seems quite awesome. I can imagine him with many migraines though. What a mess indeed!

Author's Response: Cedric will enter soon! And the plot will become more concrete, these first couple chapters serve mainly to set down some groundwork characterization and order within two different spheres which are going to work closely together in this story--of course, I mean, the ministry and Hogwarts itself.

Percy definitely has major 'tude problems, but some things just don't change. I'm sure he has his good days, too!

Thanks again for your review :)

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Review #48, by dirtydeedsdonedirtcheap Prologue

28th November 2011:
What a mystery! What an adventure! I'm captivated by the summary and I'm blown away by the first chapter. How interesting! How original! I cannot wait to read more!

Author's Response: Usually I am wary of a lot of exclamation points but in this case I will take you at your word and in that case celebrate with you! And thank you, for whatever reason what things pop into my head are slightly different than other things I've seen :)

Thank you very much for leaving a review, I hope that I can update enough to satiate your curiosity!

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Review #49, by WitnesstoitAll For Malarky

27th November 2011:
Lily (H)

There is so much that I'd love to comment on in this chapter that this will probably be an incoherent mess.

-You have been warned, read at your own ristk-

"Even to a ghost it is plain to see that running from a woman with ten pounds of chocolate cradled in her apron is pure foolishness."

That, my dear, made me laugh so hard. I think I had to reread the folowing paragraphs several times before I actually ~read~ them because I was laughing so hard. Also, the Kipling/Filch reference made me smile (would have laughed, but was still in the throes of the chocolate bit).

I really enjoy what you've down to what we understand about the ghost world. Annnd Cedric. (H) I feel like he is such an admirable companion to have chosen for Hugo. I envy your creative brain. The bit with him beating the suits of armour. LOL. I also loved the vocabulary lesson and felt like it was so you. Flitwick and Pompfrey certain had a bit of a shock, there, huh? Can't wait to read more.

As always, fabulous job!

Author's Response: MEL (H)

I welcome incoherent messes! I welcome all messes here!

in all seriousness. chocolate is life-breath.

i honestly don't know why filch decided to quote a muggle poet but whatever, it worked. i've always kind of wanted to use that quote somehwere hahah.

to me i feel like after hermione started raising awareness of non-wizard magical beings and their rights people might have sought after innovations in their fields. i always felt bad for sir nicholas because he couldn't eat anything and thought that food for ghosts would be something that some hairbrained wizard could have invented. also since cedric was so well-behaved in real life i find it hilarious to imagine him beating up the suits of armor, and that's really the only reason i put it in there. made me larf.

i can just imagine madame pomfrey's horror when she realizes she can't force-feed a ghost human chocolate, but i'm betting she'll try.

thanks so much for the review!!! and for helping me out while i was writing :)

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Review #50, by TenthWeasley A Slight Problem

25th November 2011:
FLITWICK YOU LITTLE SO-AND-SO. Although I really love how different you've made him from Dumbledore -- it seems to me that a lot of people, when writing about the next generation of Hogwarts students, always have whatever headmaster they've instilled as being somewhat of a carbon copy of Dumbledore. All wise and ponderous and gentle and good, when in reality, old Albus was a man in a million, if I can use the slightly comical phrase. So Flitwick... I have much appreciation for him. :3

AND PERCY, FOR SOME REASON I DIDN'T COMMENT ON THE LAST CHAPTER BUT PERCY IS ONE OF MY ALL-TIME FAVORITES. SQUE. And him, too, you write with canon wellness! (That phrase sound on beyond odd, but I'm too lazy to backspace.) But now things look a bit sticky, what with Flitwick's many little slip-ups. I sort of want this tournament -- and sort of do not, knowing how Cedric fared the last time around. :(

But then again, Voldemort's gone and dead, so there shouldn't be any Polyjuice-ridden professors lurking about, trying to kill extra champions -- correct? And Cedric can be Hugo's sort of mentor, and Hugo will get in and be victorious and everyone will know his importance as he now knows it. :3

Gahh, I am too invested in these characters. It's a wee bit unhealthy. BUT I DON'T HARDLY CARE. I'm just so, so glad that you're writing a sequel, and that I can follow it along properly now. :) CANNOT WAIT UNTIL CHAPTER THREEE. ♥

Author's Response: I never realized that too much! I actually haven't done enough reading on this site for a long time so that might explain it, but I hadn't noticed that Dumbledore was so tangibly amongst us in that way. I do believe that Dumbledore had his act together much more than most of the other Headmasters seemed to have, and that's part of the reason why it's so amazing that all the bad things that did happen happened under him. Flitwick has just always seemed like the person who'd step up--and not that I'm sticking to his canon personality, but at least I'm exaggerating him on purpose is all I care to say on that point :D

So Percy, as we know, is someone I appreciate, but it was too good of an opportunity to pass up poking fun at his stuffiness a little. He will have a large role in chapters to come if things go anything according to plan, where his more parental nature shall come under display, but for now, he'll be the uptight and experienced ministry official.

Well. We'll see what kind of things happen, if there /is/ to be a tournament, although my less-than-dextrousness at summary-writing sort of gives away a bit of the plot with respect to that. I just have a feeling that the tournament would be very interesting from someone's perspective like Hugo's, who has since his escapade in the Forbidden Forest become something like a legend amongst the student population. But more about that later in the story ;)

As luck would have it (or whatever is not Luck, I don't know, it depends on how you look at these things), I'm at this very moment staring into the face of a half-finished fourth chapter, so if things favor me in the immediate hour, I should be posting tonight :)

Thanks again for the reviews, they are such lovely things to get and I appreciate them so, so much! (h)

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