okay, so, I've read the whole story, but I just wanted to tell you... HURRY YOUR BUTT UP! ( This was the only chapter I hadn't left a review for. So, yeah, let's get another chapter up, okay? Okay. haha. J/K, but please do hurry! It's been months!!!:) ) Report Review
Very Well Written
Please Finish! Report Review
Oh wow great story. Very tissue worthy and touching, angsty and all. Really enjoy Ava. More please? Report Review
PLEASE UPDATE SOON!!! Report Review
aw. cute. on my favs! Report Review
lol. pretty good. very interesting. Report Review
Please Continue! Report Review
Ok this story is getting good and you keep on throwing in the Harry stuff... Which is interesting and I can't make up my mind what could have happened. However, you've done this to the expense of the Ron Hermione interaction and back story... You need a Ron POV or a Ginny overview of the situation... But good description - maybe you need a bit more diolog But Bravo Report Review
Wow. That was amazing. I applaud your brilliance! *claps* I don't know what to say. It's just...so.I don't even know. I'm touched. I wanted to cry WITH Hermione.
This was a very good length, I was glad it wasn't just a small snippet. I know some authors that consider a peice as long as the memory a chapter for a story, myself included.
I also enjoyed watching the chemistry between Harry and Hermione blossom. ^.^ It makes me want to say "Splee!!" many times.
Uhm.There's not much else to say. Your descriptions were excellent, and they were perfect in length. Your character interaction left NOTHING to be desired. And the backstory fits PERFECTLY with your present plot.
Thank's for putting such an excellent story out there; and update VERY soon!! Report Review
MORE MORE MORE Report Review
You do have to try to come back, you do. I know you've posted this chapter, and the last one way back in like October, but as you see, people love your writing, and it would be so much better if you made more appearence here on hpff. I know, I know, things are no doubt busy in RL, but still, it would be nice.
But yes, you posted this new chapter. As always, your writing style is performing excellently with your descriptions and emotions. This story is a very emotional one for Hermione, so you're doing well in that department. It is easy to feel her ups and downs, mostly downs of course, but you bring it about in a very wonderful way.
The dream at the beginning, it was good of course, hearing it through Hermione's view (and realizing that both Harry and Hermione were dreaming the same dream). I did wonder if it was different that Harry's view though, not in the sense of the thoughts ('cause those would obviously be different), but the actual dialogue between them. Seemed to be more in Hermione's version (more talking). I don't know, it might be me though, since last time I read chapter 4 was like 5 months ago.
Ava of course you're doing a wonderful job with. I can see how you're taking the young version of Hermione, and just making her a little younger than the one we met in PS, however changing some things ever so slightly to make Ava different. She's very inquisitive, as we know, but her self control, especially with learning things about Hermione's past and some of the mystery behind her, is not as strong as Hermione's. That's like all kids, but you come to enjoy Ava's outspokenness. Plus Ava being so much like Hermione, it's easy to hear Hermione understanding her thought process.
This trip into town should be an interesting thing, considering the situation of it all. If Ginny is going somewhere magical . . . well, I can imagine Hermione and the others might accidently run into some other people Hermione knew. That'll cause a lot more internal conflict for sure.
Hermione's thoughts on Harry at the breakfast table, and the subsequent finding of her pictures in Ava's closet and Harry being there (by the way, why was he there? Hmm, wonder); it's good to see the ball is moving towards the H/Hr. If it went R/Hr, well, that would suck of course, but it would be surprising. You've built up the night Harry proposed and Hermione left as being quite the turning point. The notion that's when Ava was conceived wouldn't be that far off.
It's interesting in a sense how Hermione has become like the Dursley's in her Muggle isolation. You've definately drawn parallels there, with her hating the mentioning of "magic" or of anyone (esp. Harry) doing any magic in her own house, let alone in front of Ava. Her reaction to Harry casually bringing out his wand and giving it a flick clearly tells us she herself still has a lot of problems with seeing magic being performed.
Her thoughts on the pictures, and her rant at Harry I think were well placed. She's been aching to have someone to yell at with everything, and it's good you have her admit that the three of them returning messed everything up. Most people would have Hermione NOT say those things 'cause they sound a bit rude and selfish of her, but I think in this situation, she's just speaking her mind, 'cause she has no one to talk to about it. Her husband had been the person to talk to, and she had hid herself from the magical world.
It's great to hear her cave in to Harry's presence though, and allowing him to give her a hug. You're writing Harry as such a cautious and caring individual, it's not too hard to picture really. He's older, so his maturity is a lot better than in the HP books, and it's nice to see. It's great that you have him understanding so many aspects here with Hermione, and that you have him really as the only other adult (or person for that matter) who has lived in the Muggle world (Ginny and Ron have never not lived in the wizarding world).
So yes Jaz, a good chapter indeed. It was nice to hear from you in the forums on my Reviewer Appreciation Forum, but alas, I have not heard from you since. I was looking forward to hearing from you again, and hopefully hearing from you on things, and of course perhaps reading stories. HPOL has gone a long way since last time you read it. I only have 5 chapters left to write, and it's done. 35 chapters in total.
Anyways Jaz, I should get going. A massive review, I know, but it's been a while hasn't it? I do hope that things are going alright for you, and that the writing (and perhaps future reading) goes good. Again, try to email or PM me and let me know how things have been for you, alright? :)
10 / 10 (Emotional aspects here were just spendid) Report Review
hey, I really liked this chapter, wow hermione breaking down like that was so realistic :DD ur such an amazing authur, I can't wait untill another chapter!! please hurry! Report Review
I loved the update!
Please update soon! Report Review
Another great chapter to a great story. Keep up the good work and I will keep up the reading LOL.Author's Response: Thank you! I will if you will! :) Report Review
Wow. . . this chapter was just so . . . I can't even explain it. Well, I just know Hermione has some great friends that are rare to come by. Ginny was the perfect girl friend she needed at the time, Ron's just like her big brother always worried about her and Harry. . . finally she broke down to him! This chapter was, for me personally, the best chapter so far. I still love how excited Ava can be, she's adorable. Great chapter, I'll be anxiously but patiently waiting for the next one! I wish I can rate this higher than a 10 ;)Author's Response: Yes, in this story and in JK's story, she really really does. I'm so glad you enjoyed the chapter so much! :) That's wonderful. I was worried it wouldn't be as well recieved, or even in flow with the others, since I'd taken such a hiatus from the story... but I'm glad that isn't a problem for you! :D So glad you like Ava, being that she's mine, and I will try to update much sooner this time! Thanks again!! :D Report Review
really, really like this story!
please keep writing and update soon!! :)Author's Response: Thank you so much! I will try! :) Report Review
You have such perfect characterisation, once again. I admire that in you, and the fact that you write true to life. There's this sense of reality about your story that gives me a firmer connection and liking to it. You've handled the dialogue perfectly, altering in tone and attitude between mother and daugher, and then friends. And still there's this sense of unknown upon the relationship of Harry and Hermione. There's such tension there, also.
Once again, you've managed a lengthy and well-constructed chapter. :-) Well done, and I hope you update soon. Author's Response: Hello there, darling! How have you been? Good, I hope. Thank you for the characterization compliment. You know that one means a lot to me. :) I'm writing many real things in MY life into this story, and I think that's where the realistic feel is coming from. I'm glad also that the relationship is still cloudy, not obvious yet (which, of course, it is to me, lol).
I will try and hurry. Thank you sooooo much for the review and for reading on! I'm very happy that you of all people enjoyed this!!! XD Report Review
I just read this again and I wanted to let you know it was even better the second time! Please update soon!Author's Response: Oh, thank you!!! I sure will try! :D Report Review
This is completely brilliant-But then, you knew that already, didn't you?Author's Response: *blushing* Thank you so much! :D Report Review
Wow Jess ... you are alive!! What a great chapter to come back to. Of course, it being Harry wasn't too much of a surprise, but I am still interested to hear how they went from "marry me" to her leaving the magical world behind and marrying a muggle...I like that you're writing a story with a huge underlying story that pops up here and there. It definitely makes for an interesting read...now just not so much time in between chapters!! :) Author's Response: I'm alive!!! And so are you!! Woo! How have you been? Wonderful, I hope! I'm glad you liked the new chapter. I was worried it wouldn't be in the same tone as the others, since I took a hiatus like I did. Wanted to be sure I was feeling exactly the same as I wrote, and it was hard. The story of what happens after the "Marry me" until where they are now will, of course, be divulged. :) I'm so happy it's not obvious to everyone yet! lol
So so so so glad you're still reading on and enjoying this, Lauren! Thank you for the reviews, all of them, and all the kindnesses! I will hurry this time!! XD Report Review
It gets better and better with each chapter, I hope you update again soon.Author's Response: Thanks! I'm glad you think so! I'll try! :D Report Review
I really like this story! I can't wait to read more!Author's Response: Thank you!! :) Report Review
It's about time! No, I can see why it took so long for you to update, look at this! It's amazing! I love reading everything you right, it's all just brilliant! Please continue, and make the next chapter just as good as this one! 10/10Author's Response: LOL, I know right? Sorry!! :( But I'm so glad you liked the new chapter! Yay! Thank you for the compliments and the reviews, I will keep writing!! :D Report Review
this chapter may just have been worth the long wait! You have a real knack for their emotional states. Never really thought of Harry and Hermione having a relationship but since reading your stories.. I now can't imagine them without each other. thanks for the updateAuthor's Response: Oh, that's great you think so! :D And how lovely I've turned you on to something you weren't into before! I loooove that. :P Thanks so much for this warm review! :D Report Review
Thank God, you e-mailed me the preview. This stupid April Fools crap is really irritating. Perfection as usual my darling. I LOVED the flash back. Even with the subtle hipster douche references, there was Squee abounding.
You gave me what I asked for so now I must reciprocate. I'll try by the end of this week.Author's Response: Of all the days I pick to post. I can't believe I didn't realize it beforehand. *shakes head*
Were there hipster douche references? I didn't mean there to be. You mean in the flashback, or just overall? *sigh* I really didn't mean to put those in if there were any, which is even more disturbing than if I had... :( Ah, well.
You better!!! :D Who loves Beth? Jazmine does (along with everyone else). Report Review
Terms of Service
categories & genres
short story collection