Reading Reviews for Portmanteau
48 Reviews Found

Review #26, by Laugharama_llama Chapter Five: Reluctance

6th July 2009:
Haha you have a funny typo:
-"He was sturdy, thickly built, with wide shoulders and strong arms. His skin, fair and freakily by birth, was perpetually tanned and flushed, as if he had just stepped inside from a long run on the beach." (I think you mean freckly haha)
-“Because it good work,” he replied, sounding slightly defensive. (it's)
-“Ginny’s playing profession quidditch, if you can believe that.” (professional)
-Anyway…you liked like you were going to say something?” (looked like)

Alright, i just wanted you to know about those before I continued reading. I'll do a story review at the next chapter for the whole story so far :)

Author's Response: Oops, thank you so much for pointing these out. I fixed them. Guess I didn\\\'t proof this chapter very well *blush*

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Review #27, by RemusGal Chapter Six: Restricted

4th July 2009:
Another really enjoyable chapter. Has the review board caught on that Kate is seeking information from what Malachi is reading? I can't think what else she might have done to get herself restricted. Charlie's a riot - perceptive enough to keep Kate from pissing off the wrong gut, but he asks her on a date to go meet his brother's new baby. That's either an established girlfriend role or just a really old friend outing. In any case, they continue to be fun together.

Author's Response: Thanks, RG. We definitely haven\\\'t heard the last about the has a big part to play in later chapters. I\\\'m glad you like Charlie. I love how you described the \\\"date.\\\" I hadn\\\'t thought of that but it\\\'s perfect. Hopefully his cluelessness is off-putting and explanations in the next chapter will redeem him a bit. Thanks for the review.

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Review #28, by TheForestAgain Chapter Six: Restricted

30th June 2009:
Ah I am so excited for the romance in the next chapter, but its okay you don't have to rush it. Sometimes its all about the chase, and it looks it may turn out that way due to Kate's reluctance to say yes! I'm excited to see why Kate has been banned from entering the Ministry, I wonder why. I will definitely recommend this story as soon as I get the chance!
Great chapter, its so good I can't think of a suggestion!
TheForestAgain :)

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I\\\'m sure there is a bunch of stuff I could improve but I appreciate the compliment for sure. And while it may have taken a while to get to the romance, once it starts, there will be more than the two of them can handle :P Thanks for reading and reviewing.

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Review #29, by daydream_it_to_life Chapter Six: Restricted

29th June 2009:
Oh, wow. I'm interested to know if it was really a mix-up about her being restricted from the MoM. And good lord, Bainbridge is SUCH a creep. Pervert. Ugh. Charlie is so adorable though, and sweet! I wish he was real. And lived close by. ;] Lol that little section about the dragon dung made me smile. XD You've made the characters come so alive already, that I can totally see Kate doing something like that. And Charlie reacting by laughing. =D Anyways, nice long chappie. LOVED it!! I can't WAIT for you to update, it was amazing! Again, your writing is just so descriptive, it's amazing. Update soon! (Though your doing a great job with quick updates already! ^_^)


Author's Response: Thanks, Daydream. Glad you liked the chapter. The next one should be pretty long as well (and hopefully finished soon). Thanks for commenting on the characters. I am glad they come off somewhat realistic. I like Charlie too...poor guys has no idea what is in the works for him. And nope, this isnt the last of the restricted access for Kate. Thanks so much for continuing to R and R. I am so happy to know people are out there reading this :)

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Review #30, by RonsGirlFriday Chapter Six: Restricted

29th June 2009:
Glad to see another chapter! I am really enjoying this story.

I wouldn't be too worried about this not looking like a romance yet. Sometimes it's nice for things to develop slowly, and I think it fits here, considering Kate's hesitance and resentment towards Charlie. On that note, I'm happy they have a dinner date. Or something similar to a dinner date, at least.

Charlie is just really oblivious, though. It's sort of maddening, actually. Can he really be so dense? Maybe it's just willful ignorance.

The whole thing with Kate's access being denied is a good twist, and I'm eager to see how it works out -- particularly because I got a feeling that it wasn't just a mix-up in paperwork. But I guess I'll have to wait and find out. :-)

Bainbridge gives me the creeps. Good job with him! You seem really versatile at writing different kinds of characters, and the diversity is part of what's making this story so enjoyable.

Great chapter!

Author's Response: Thank you! I am glad you like the different characters, and they come off distinct enough to me memorable. Bainbridge is a sleaze, but surprising fun to write. I have been worried the whole thing is moving too slow, but once the story picks up, my intention is to have it run pretty fast, so maybe it will all balance out in the end. And hopefully Charlie won\\\'t come off as an idiot for too much longer. Thanks again for the review!!

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Review #31, by RemusGal Chapter Five: Reluctance

23rd June 2009:
Another really intersting chapter. I can't tell if Kate and Charlie were a couple in the prologue or just good friends ("this wasn't just some old acquaintance", "Why did you leave me"), but it's so interesting how different people react to seeing someone they last saw years ago on awkward terms. I don't want to say it's a male/female difference, though that's how you've portrayed it here. Charlie acts like she's an old friend and there's no nervousness that he might have behaved badly in the past, so she might not be glad to see him. Kate is much more tentative (though we obviously see more of her feelings since you write from her POV). I liked how Charlie blurting out the news of Freds death deterred her from asking the hard questions she wanted to ask. That rings very true. I am guessing it was the attack on Bill that made Charlie leave Romania, but I'm sure if it's important it will come up later. Thanks for the author's note. I was confused about the timeline without it. Keep writing, I'm really enjoying your work!

Author's Response: Thank you so much, RemusGal. I'm glad the author's note helped. I was worried it had gotten confusing. I hadn't really thought about the male/female dynamic, but you're right, that does fit the scene. Their varying reactions to each other will be addressed pretty completely in chapter 7 (I hope!). I'm glad the way Charlie tells Kate about Fred felt realistic. I just couldn't see him telling her in any other way. Thanks again. This review totally sparked an idea for me too. I bet you'll notice it come chapter 7 ;)

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Review #32, by TheForestAgain Chapter Five: Reluctance

17th June 2009:
AH finally, we meet Charlie. Looks like they have a complicated past. Will things start to get romantic soon? I hope so! Great chapter!

Author's Response: Yes, romance in many forms to follow. Maybe in chapter seven...? Thanks for the R&R!!

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Review #33, by RonsGirlFriday Chapter Five: Reluctance

14th June 2009:
Well, you've definitely got me wondering what happened that made Charlie leave Romania. He took off in the middle of the fire, though? That is very strange.

I definitely didn't expect Charlie to be working a Ministry job, but Auror doesn't seem too terrible. Auror work always seemed to be one of the jobs that involved the least amount of paper-pushing -- they go out and do exciting tasks -- but if Kate really is anti-establishment, I guess I can see her reacting this way. Maybe a lot of her reaction is the lingering resentment over Charlie leaving? -- like she feels as if he abandoned them for a more cushy existence?

I was a little confused by her reaction to the pub they went to, because it seemed like the kind of place she would like, judging by what I know of her so far. But it occurred to me that maybe it was just the totality of the circumstances that was bothering her -- seeing Charlie again and everything.

I liked the contrast in their personalities as they "caught up" with each other -- with Charlie being super friendly and asking questions, and Kate being reserved and not wanting to give out any personal details. And Charlie seems happily oblivious about what's really bothering Kate, which is a little bit maddening because it makes me wonder whether he really has no clue how upset she is, or whether he intends to give her any explanation -- he's just going along as if it were old times again.

Also, I enjoyed your description of Charlie in the beginning of the chapter, especially this part:

"Looking at him was like looking at an old stone house, built to survive and protect, whatever the elements might throw at it."

The physical description was very much what I expected from what we know of him in canon, and I had always imagined him as a warm person, and you took it a step further in describing him as someone safe and secure. It's a little ironic, considering what he used to do for work -- working with dragons is adventurous and might not make a person seem like the epitome of stability -- but it's a nice character trait that rounds him out and adds depth, I think.

I'll be watching out for the next chapter!

Author's Response: Thanks for such a detailed review!! Kate's reaction to Charlie's job has a lot to do with her disappointment that he isn't the man she remembers, a person (who like herself) could never be happy working at the Ministry. Maybe I should have come out and said that more clearly. But you're right, it's also just the emotion of the whole situation too. She's overreacting to the wrong things.

You make a good point about the pub. I didn't write that part as well as I should have. Kate would like such a homespun, humble place. Her reaction was more ironic, in that such a shabby establishment would be described as "great," and her sensitivity to wizards looking down on muggle establishments. You're right though, SHE wouldn't look down on such a place.

Thank you so much for commenting on Charlie's description. I plan to return to that in the future chapters...her seeing him as a constant, steady protector. I really wanted to go beyond the cliche of him being a super attractive ladies man, but I still think a person with such a physical job would be larger and fit, and none of the Weasleys are ever described as unattractive. I also wanted to contrast it with another traditionally handsome character, who will make a return in future chapters.

Thank you again for all your reviews (have I said that enough yet :P)

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Review #34, by RonsGirlFriday Chapter Four: Books

14th June 2009:
Ooh, Charlie's finally here! Although I do like how we got to know Kate pretty well over the course of a few chapters before Charlie entered the picture again.

You have a really nice way with words. I especially noticed in this chapter when you were describing the Ministry -- for example, with this line:

"No one seemed particularly happy to be there but everyone understood its necessity; one important step toward reaching some penultimate goal."

That, as well as the description of the Ministry as an institution that had failed everyone repeatedly. It's very fitting of the Ministry we know from the HP series -- all wrapped up in its own importance, but woefully ineffective.

Great job again, of course!

Author's Response: Thanks so much. I'm glad the more snarky comments about the Ministry stood out in a good way. Somewhere along the way, Kate as a character started channeling some old Moody "Ministry Malcontent." Maybe that's just a bit of me sneaking into Kate. Thanks for another awesome review.

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Review #35, by RonsGirlFriday Chapter One: Money

14th June 2009:
Ah, bureaucracy! I like it when fics use issues that readers can relate to - bringing a real world element to stories set in the magical world - like budgets and land ownership and things like that.

I really like Henry. He seems like an eccentric, and even slightly paternal, older man clinging to his passion and his pet projects because he knows he's doing something worthwhile. He's a lot of fun to read! I like Kate, too - she seems like a down to earth person who does an honest day's work, and that makes her very relatable.

Also, good idea with the wizarding archaeologists and how some other wizards consider it a Muggle pursuit. I think it makes sense that there would be wizarding archaeologists, especially if they really want to learn as much as they can about different kinds of magical creatures. I'm fascinated by things like dinosaur digs, so I like seeing it translated into dragons.

Another great chapter! 10/10

Author's Response: I always wanted to be an archeologist when I was a kid, so I'm totally living out some lost dreams here. And I'm glad you found the ideas realistic. I was really trying to ground the story in things I could relate to on some level. I've been worried about Kate being likable, so thank you so much for commenting on her. It seems the other characters, like Henry, are just easier to write. Thank you again for the review. I really appreciate it.

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Review #36, by RonsGirlFriday Prologue: Fire

14th June 2009:
This chapter was mesmerizing. I really like your description, especially of the little village, which seemed quaint and peaceful and quiet before the image of the entire place going up in flames. The panic of the villagers was realistic and palpable, and I could see it playing out in front of my eyes like a movie scene.

I don't know a lot about Romania myself, but going by what I know from conversations I've had with a few friends from Romania, your descriptions seem accurate.

I'm really excited to read the story. I have never read one about Charlie at all, and it seems there aren't many out there.

Awesome prologue! 10/10

Author's Response: Thank you so much. I'm glad the descriptions fit with what you've heard too. It all seemed real in my head and it's good to know it doesn't seem way off to others. And I haven't seen a lot of Charlie stories out there either, so I figured I might as well put one up! Thank you again for the R and R. Hope you enjoy the rest of the story.

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Review #37, by daydream_it_to_life Chapter Five: Reluctance

13th June 2009:
Hmm, this chapter makes me so curious! Why is Charlie acting like nothing went on? Why DID he leave? That budgeting group seems so mighty suspicious to me! Once this queue opens up again, I certainly hope you'll have another chapter just waiting there! =] Still in love with your story, keep it up!


Author's Response: Thanks, dd. You're reviews always make me smile! I'm already working on the next chapter. Hopefully I'll get it up soon.

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Review #38, by RemusGal Chapter Four: Books

31st May 2009:
Another lovely descriptive chapter. The two older wizards arguing about the young witch with the stolen lacewings were quite funny. I also liked Kate's wondering what was happening back at the dig, and feeling slightly guilty for hoping they didn't make too many discoveries without her. Those little glances into her character really flesh her out. You have a lot of balls in the air (settings, characters, intrigues) and I hope some of them start to come together soon. I'm really enjoying your prose.

Author's Response: Thanks, RG. Hopefully at least a few things will really start to show their connection in the next chapter, but there are still more twists to come. I hope they don't disappoint. And I'm glad you liked my old guys. I might just have to bring them back later. Thanks so much for the R&R.

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Review #39, by daydream_it_to_life Chapter Four: Books

29th May 2009:
HE'S HERE!! =D Oh that's so exciting! And I've always loved Charlie. =] This was a really descriptive and fantastic chapter! I will never get over how vivid your writing is, and how I can see these places in my mind. I'm so glad you updated, it's made my day better, and I can't wait to see how Charlie and Kate react to each other, learn about their history, etc. I'm so excited! ^_^ Update soon and I'll be one happy camper.

Charlie Weasley! *dancing*

Author's Response: Thanks, daydream. You're reviews are always so much fun to read. The next chapter is all Kate and Charlie. I hope it won't disappoint. Thanks again!!

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Review #40, by TheForestAgain Chapter Four: Books

29th May 2009:
Ahhh! What a cliffhanger. Great story, great chapter!
Update sooon please!

Author's Response: Thanks, I'll try to post again in the next week or so. :)

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Review #41, by daydream_it_to_life Chapter Three: Portkey

15th May 2009:
Simply fabulous, as always. =] I still absolutely adore your descriptions. I can't help but think that whoever just arrived is important. ;] You've got to update soon, because though it may not SEEM like much of a cliffie, I sense some underlying reason. ^_^ Maybe I'm just crazy. Lack of sleep and a long week can do that to a person. Either way, I can't wait to read more!

Ready for the ministry,

Author's Response: Thanks, daydream. You're reviews always make me smile. I'm shooting to have chapter four done by Friday. Thanks so much for the support!!

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Review #42, by RemusGal Chapter Three: Portkey

15th May 2009:
This was a pretty quiet chapter, but the descriptions of the city and the portkey office were excellent. I'm really enjoying the story.

Author's Response: Yeah, a little too quiet the more I look back on it. Hopefully you'll find that it picks up soon. Thanks for sticking with it and reviewing :)

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Review #43, by RandomRyter Chapter Three: Portkey

14th May 2009:
Well, the first exit may be good for you, but I personally would have loved for you to have kept going. This is quite good. Can't wait for her to see Charlie. The only thing is that I wish the chapters had a little more in them, which would also make them longer. It feels like I'm missing something. Love this FanFic, though!

Author's Response: Thank you so much for the comments. I totally agree, the chapters aren't as beefy as I really want. I've never written a drama/romance before and am struggling to find the right balance. Hopefully once Charlie joins the story (teaser next chapter and then all Charlie after that!) it will get a better rhythm. Hopefully it will be less boring after that. Thanks again for reading and reviewing.

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Review #44, by daydream_it_to_life Chapter Two: Holdovers

8th May 2009:
Ah, so this is the William Beckett who they didn't want to send for precisely the reason he is encouraging Kate to do; meeting important people and becoming distracted. Sigh. Beckett, you just let Kate do her thing, and don't try and sidetrack her! But of course that's impossible. =] What's a story without a bit of drama? Well anyways, I love how you're describing the desert and dig sites. I've never been to any place such as Egypt, but even so, I can see these places in my mind's eye perfectly! ^.^ Bainbridge is a perv. What else can I say? XD

I'm loving this story. It's very unique, and I can't wait until the next chapter. Update soon!

Author's Response: Thanks for another review! I'm glad your still enjoying the story. I've never been to Egypt either but I've always wanted to and it's a lot of fun to write about. And yes, Beckett will be around to cause some drama. He's not to be trusted ;)

I'm already working on the next chapter so I hope to have it up soon. Thanks for the R and R!

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Review #45, by RemusGal Chapter One: Money

1st May 2009:
Another great chapter. I love your descriptions of the camp, and the way you jump right into the action, with Henry's mysterious note. Of course I have no idea how the prologue and this chapter will eventually mesh, but your writing is really fresh and makes me want to read more. The clash between the intellectual pursuit of archeology and the desire of muggles and wizards to use the land for more lucrative purposes is really an interesting theme, and gives your fic some weight.

Author's Response: I *hope* over time the connection to the prologue becomes clear and important. At this point, if my very flexible outline develops close to planned, my guess is for around chapter 5, when Charlie returns. I'm really glad the story feels "weighty" and not just wordy. Thanks so much for the continued encouragement. Hope to have the next chapter up pretty soon!

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Review #46, by daydream_it_to_life Chapter One: Money

29th April 2009:
Wow. You have a fantastic writing style! It's so descriptive, I can see these places in my mind, it's absolutely brilliant. I cannot WAIT for more. =) Please update soon!

Clicking the favorite button,

Author's Response: Thank you so much. I'm flattered you favorited it. I'm glad the descriptions are coming off well. I'm always afraid I'm giving too much or not enough. Thanks for taking the time to read and review. It means a lot.

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Review #47, by siriusly_wishing Prologue: Fire

27th April 2009:
Well, this certainly has me curious! I love Charlie and stories about him, and yours is very well written so far - thank goodness you have an excellent grasp of spelling and grammar, and your style is a pleasure to read. I can't wait to see where this goes, but I'm terrible at keeping track of updated stories so sorry if it takes me a while to find new chapters! I'd love to see more soon. *hint hint* :D

Author's Response: Thanks so much for reviewing! I'm a bit of a Charlie nut myself. He'll disappear for awhile but be back with a bang (and to stay) by chapter 5. I'm hoping to have the next chapter up by the end of the week (it's a long one, at least for me!). Thanks again so much for reading and reviewing :)

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Review #48, by RemusGal Prologue: Fire

15th April 2009:
This really grabbed my interest - cool setting, nice balance of dialogue and description, and a mystery. It seemed like the hooded men want to capture the wizards, but maybe you just haven't gotten that far yet. I can't wait to see where you take the story.

Author's Response: Thanks so much for reading. The motives of the attack will be revealed throughout the story. Already half done with chapter 1; hope you'll take a look when it's up. Thanks again for the R&R :)

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