Reading Reviews for Off the Rails
497 Reviews Found

Review #26, by misswow234 seven

16th May 2014:
God I love this so much! Not only is the plot captivating and interesting but the writing is wonderful as well!

Author's Response: Thank you so much, I'm really glad you're enjoying it so far! Hope you continue to read, thanks for reviewing :)

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Review #27, by a rollerball epilogue

15th May 2014:
awsome story, cant wait for the sequel

Author's Response: Thank you, I'm so glad you've enjoyed the fic! Hopefully the sequel will pop up in the next month or so. Thanks for all your reviews. :)

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Review #28, by LoonyLovegood11 epilogue

15th May 2014:
I knew he was going to take that job. Haha *happy dances*
Congratulation on finishing this story. It has been over all a joy to read (we're going to ignore how much pain you put me through at some points)
Best of luck with the sequel, I will be keeping a look out for it.

Author's Response: Haha, there were quite a few clues about James' job in the end, weren't there? :) Sorry for the pain I've put you through! If it's any consolation, it hurt me just as much to write the sad bits. I'm so glad you've enjoyed this fic! Thanks for reviewing, and I hope to see you at the sequel :)

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Review #29, by Slide epilogue

14th May 2014:
OH MY GOD this is the end. Ooh, time-skip. Ooh, James and Freddie. Ooh - WEDDING? OH MY GOD WEDDING. WHOSE.

It's so vague. I swear I could give a thoroughly coherent assessment of this setup, and the people, and how adorable that it's another Weasley wedding in a marquee out in the back garden of the Burrow and that's very sweet but WHICH ONE OF THEM IS GETTING MARRIED.

...I wonder what sort of qualification/cultural role 'old wizards who conduct weddings' have in magical society. I mean, obviously it's not religious; is it just a Job People Go Into or is there some sort of tradition of a community elder or the like? Wait. Now is not the tme for this kind of rumination.

Okay, Carla's shown up - too soon, yes, no - RIGHT! Not the bride. Yeah, you would mess with us at the last minute, wouldn't you? You're cruel.


I'm sorry, you wanted this to be a coherent review? You have picked the wrong circumstances in which to set your epilogue if that's the case, bucko. Oh, of course it begins with a wedding and ends in a wedding; I was too distracted by my sheer, uncertain squeeing terror to be able to analyse that properly. But a nice case of beginnings, a nice opportunity to nod at how much James has changed over the course of the story. D'aww, and Carla noticed how happy it made him, and that it made him so happy for his friends makes ME happy.

But he's not changed that much, because marriage is still pitting him into blind terror. That's my boy! Nooo not Cordelia. She had so much to live for! The final tragedy to remind us of the frailty of life amidst all this happiness and new beginnings!

Derailed Derailed Derailed. *hops up and down*

Okay. Right. Phew. Post-story analysis and overview and stuff. FIRST, your James is a sweetheart, and the James Potter to end all James Potters for me. I've adored him and adored following his story. I think what I've enjoyed the most is that you set him up as the typical arrogant playboy, learning the error of his ways and growing up, but most of all he was ALREADY a lot older and more mature than the first glimpse implied. The story wasn't just about seeing him change, it was also about peeling back the layers.

The James Potter we thought we knew was neither the James Potter he became NOR the James Potter he was in the first place. A play-boy, but with reasons for his apprehension - and nevertheless a devoutly loyal friend, the furthest thing from selfish. A Quidditch player star keen to succeed, but who hated the fame - and on the pitch was where he was his most sensible, level-headed, and mature. And these presented both beautiful contrasts in him but also the beautiful conflicts for him to resolve.

That, and the side characters. Carlotta's a darling, though for me my adoration does fall all the more on Brigid, Lily, and Maddie. Two original characters who just dominated every scene they were in - one with raucous hilarity, the other just by being such a solid friend and solid character as to stand out. And Lily - the best, most original take on Lily, and yet one which somehow fits so perfectly. Honourable mention in the end to your Audrey, too. The coolest aunt.

Three moments stand out for me in the story. The Lily twist, the one which was set up all along and so OBVIOUS when it came out, but which I never saw coming. The first proper conversation with Harry, which I had been so keen for, to finally discover what James' daddy issues were - and I remember you put it when he was at its lowest, where something I'd been hankering for just made me SAD, because it hurt him so much! And, of course, the Carlotta revelation, the one we knew was coming in some way, shape, or form, and yet anticipating it didn't make it any less satisfying, any less heartbreaking.

I got into your writing (aside from returning the favour on the reviews) because I was ALL ABOUT the war-time angst of Frozen, and mostly checked out Rails Because It Was There. But there are reasons I can get snobby about Next Gen dramas; they need to feel like logical continuations of characters and the magical world, not just high school hijinks with Next Gen names slapped on, and this does everything a genuine continuation of the Potter world should do.

I'm hyper-excited for Derailed, but if nothing else this is a superbly well-rounded and finished story, and if they rode off into the sunset at this point, I would have no regrets.

Good story, bro.

Author's Response: ...I don't even know how I'm supposed to respond to this review. It's like having two reviews in one - the wonderful incoherent mess and then the good wording bit. It makes me oh so happy.

THE WEDDING SWITCH. Oh, there was much evil cackling as I wrote this. OF COURSE James and Carlotta aren't getting married. And yes, we both start and end with a wedding because I am clearly Very Good at doing symbolism things. I think it's a nice way to see how James has changed over the course of the fic though, bless him.

Yes, Cordelia's fate is evidently a reminder of the frailty of life. Or just demonstrating that James still isn't quite capable of looking after a pygmy puff. But he's getting there. :)

James. Oh, James. I always knew he was going to be a deeper person than who we thought we knew at the beginning, but he honestly surpassed my expectations in every way. Initial plans for Rails were different to how things turned out - because Carlotta was meant to have a bigger part to play, she was meant to be the person who grounded him. But in the end I had to change it, because James saved himself. And I'm glad that happened because I think it makes for a far better story than "girl saves guy". He's been so lovely to write, and I know I'm going to miss being in his head for Derailed.

I do hope Carlotta wins even more of your adoration come Derailed, but even so I can see why Brigid, Lily and Maddie get the love. The Lily twist was so satisfying to write, and it gives the opportunity for all manner of wizarding/Muggle contrasts which I never get sick of exploring. Much more of THAT to come in Derailed.

Oh, that Harry moment. It absolutely broke me, having to post that chapter, when I knew you were so keen for the Daddy issues but the conversation that came wasn't quite the one you were hoping for... that was James' lowest point by far, and it was nice to be able to write the HAPPY father/son conversation a few chapters' later.

Derailed WILL happen. I won't be able to live with myself if I don't get that plot written. Trust me, I'm as excited as you are for this.

I was so surprised when I saw your first Rails reviews. I saw your username and thought "ooh, she's come for Frozen" - and then I looked again and got VERY excited. It's been so lovely to have your reviews and support while I've been writing, because I know your thoughts on Next Gens and it's very satisfying to know this is a fic you've genuinely been able to enjoy. And the reviews have all been so helpful, especially when I've had worries about a particular chapter. THANK YOU.

Good review bro.

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Review #30, by whykay epilogue

14th May 2014:
I hope Carlotta is cured - but how? Waiting for the sequel!

Author's Response: Hmm... well, the sequel will answer that one for you. :) I hope to start posting it within the next month, keep an eye out! Thanks for reviewing :)

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Review #31, by Jones epilogue

13th May 2014:
Eeeep! Loved it, adored it. Such a well written ending. Can't wait for the sequel :)

Author's Response: Thank you, I'm so glad you've enjoyed the fic! Hopefully I'll start posting the sequel in the next month or so. Thanks for reviewing!

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Review #32, by a rollerball sixty-three

7th May 2014:
amazing chapter, i can completely understand why he would of done it. cant wait for the next one!

Author's Response: I'm so glad you understood, I was worried people might not like it! Thanks for reviewing :)

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Review #33, by miluv sixty-three

5th May 2014:

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'm really glad you liked this - and I'm proud of James too. :) Thanks for reviewing!

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Review #34, by Penelope Inkwell sixty-three

5th May 2014:
Someone, now, unleash the ninjas!

Just kidding. I actually sort of saw this coming. i wasnít certain, but that loose plot thread about the Hogwarts position had been bugging me. For a while, I was like, ďNo, surely not.Ē But then I began to wonder.

That said, it still surprised me a little bit. Like they say, Jamesí Quidditch career is on top of the world. I was actually kind of sad.


You somehow won me over. I donít quite know how you did it. I was like, ďIf he does this, Iím not gonna like it...Ē, and then I was like, ďHe has done this, and I do not like it...Ē. I had determined that this was not the way I would have wanted things to go.

And somehow you went and changed my mind. All in one chapter! I donít even know where it happened, exactly, but the way you set it up is brilliant. James really *does* hate the media circus. It *will* only get worse, which wonít be healthy for him. He *has* sort of reached the top of what he can accomplish there, and, while itís sad to think of the Falcons without him, given how loyal they all are to each other. It still works. And Roxy finally gets her chance. And this job does seem like itíll fit James. Oh, and of course now he wonít be pushed to have a job that requires him to leave the country, so that he can be there for Carlotta.

And itís...itís really sweet. *sniffle*

Plus, I know that Harry turned out to be an Auror, and he wanted that, and thatís great. But there was always a part of me whoíd hoped heíd have gone back and taught D.A.D.A. And this is the next best thing. Harry was always an excellent teacher for Dumbledoreís Army, and it makes sense that that ability, and the passion to pursue it, would have been passed down to his son, right along with his (and Ginnyís) love for Quidditch.

All to say, youíve thoroughly convinced a recalcitrant reader, which is quite an impressive writerly achievement, in my book. Good twist, good chapter. :D


Author's Response: Trust me, I found it sad to write this. Because James could play for England for years! Most people would do anything for that opportunity. But it IS the right thing for him to do. Had he not won the World Cup, he might well have stuck it out for another chance, but when you're a World Cup winner at 21, that's surely going to make you rethink things.

And also, as you mention, he can be around more for Carlotta. That was originally going to be one of the main reasons for James retiring - that he could spend more time with her, and she wouldn't have to feel like she was holding him back - but then I tweaked things slightly. It still would be there in the back of James' mind though.

I think my favourite part of OotP is the DA. I love every single DA session in the book, and I almost wish the film had included MORE of it. So yes, I agree with you that I would have loved to see Harry teach. So it's nice that James can do that (spoiler alert - you might JUST be right with your oh-so-educated guess).

I am, naturally, chuffed to have managed to have changed your mind on this, even within the space of the chapter. Like I said, I always knew this was going to happen, and I knew that there may be people who won't necessarily agree with it, which is totally fine. But all the same it's good to know that I've managed to convince you. :) Thanks for the lovely review!

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Review #35, by Penelope Inkwell sixty-two

4th May 2014:
I need to go back and make sure I left a review on that epic match, which I very much enjoyed. But for now Iíll just say how much I liked this chapter. It was a nice, sort of winding down bit, but it just made me so happy, after all that James has been through, for him to have this moment of triumph. But what I love even more is that winning is less important to him that his family being happy, and happy for him. I think itís very realistic. Sometimes something is so big, and the nerves are so vast, that win or lose, you really DO mostly feel relief, no matter how great the achievement. Itís a side of the story that doesnít get told often, but I found it very relatable.

This was so cute:
-ďDonít get your hopes up. I donít think youíre going to become ĎJames Potterís fatherí any time soon.Ē He pulled a face.

-ďA guy can dream, canít he?Ē

I suppose it just seemed very much like something Harry *would* wish--that heíd happily give over the glory to his children. I also sort of see a good bit of Harry in James, looking back. Like, the problematic relationship that James has with fame. He enjoys it sometimes, but at the same time finds it unfulfilling on its own, and often problematic, besides.

And Ryan and Della! Hooray! I always had hope for them. Now if Brie and Fred can just get things sorted...

Very sweet chapter. Warm fuzzies all around!


Author's Response: Ah, I did like writing this chapter, although it was a bit tricky making sure it didn't just read as me ticking all the boxes. Luckily the situation meant everyone and his dog would want to talk to James. And it was also lovely to write a totally contented James, free from the pressure of Quidditch or his family or anything else like that. This is the first instance all story that he's been totally at ease with everything at the same time. :)

I do think Harry would long to be overshadowed by his kids' own successes. He never has been one for attention, has he? You're right, he and James definitely share that same view on fame. It's one of the reasons why, now their issues have been dealt with, there's such a good understanding between them.

Thanks for reviewing! :)

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Review #36, by TidalDragon one

4th May 2014:
Howdy! Dropping by to complete my quest to read and review all the Golden Paw nominees. I tried my best to read all the stories in their entirety, but I'll confess to you that with the deadline looming I knew reading all 63+ chapters of this story was not possible. I'm sorry about that. Especially after reading such a strong start!

What I enjoyed about this story most was the characterizations. You embraced the womanizing James (II) trope, but I think it succeeds for you here because rather than making it oblique, you confront it head on and with gusto. You also created a nice little world within which the characters live at present, complete with career background on James (II) and a nice OC in Brigid. While James (II)'s career is a bit typical, you step outside of that nicely by creating Brigid, a best friend and atypical career-holder - sports agent (which would surely be necessary given the immense global popularity of Quidditch and the many various professional leagues for it).

I also enjoyed the bickering dynamic between James (II) and Lily. Rather than portraying her as the shrinking violet she sometimes becomes, you made her much more like Ginny, which to me felt more realistic.

All in all I thought you word choice, dialogue, and descriptions were all strong points as well, as you balanced the dialogue, descriptions, and action effectively (despite a minimum of inner thought!) to create an immersive experience for the reader.

Excellently done! Good luck in the voting!

Author's Response: Wow, thank you so much for popping along to read! I thought the mammoth length of this thing would put people off checking it out for the Paws, so it was lovely to see this review! :)

Thank you for the comments on the characterisation! It's something I try hard to do well on, and certainly to me these are all real people in my mind. It's funny, when I started writing this about three or so years ago I don't think I realised just how much of a cliche it was to make James a Quidditch player! Clearly I hadn't read enough Next Gens. But it's good to know it works here, as a lot of this fic's focus is on how he deals with all that comes with being a Quidditch player. As for Lily ... well, she steals pretty much any scene she's in. I have a few characters with that talent.

Thanks very much for the lovely review, and I hope you continue to read and enjoy! :)

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Review #37, by Your FAN sixty-three

4th May 2014:
another wonderful chapter. Well Done!!

for me it was the most emotional chapter yet in this story..

I know that this meant to be a bit sad but a happy one.. or celebratory one.. BUT MY EYES KEPT PRODUCING TEARS!!

i stopped bothering myself to wipe my face before finishing reading the chapter..

Again THANK YOU for this wonderful chapter and ultimately this awesome STORY!!

Author's Response: You're right; this is an emotional chapter, and I got a bit teary when writing it so don't worry! James is doing what's right for him, and he does WANT to do it, but of course there's that element of sadness that he's leaving the Falcons. Although as Sinead says, he'll always be a Falcon. Thank you for the review! :)

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Review #38, by Spyci sixty-three

4th May 2014:

Author's Response: YOU'LL FIND OUT IN THE EPILOGUE. Thanks for reading and reviewing! :)

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Review #39, by ohmymerlin sixty-three

4th May 2014:

NO DON'T RETIRE, JAMES! I HATE when athletes who are at their prime end their career once they've gotten everything. I totally understand their reasons why they would do it, but I just think they should just keep going and still have fun! D':

I totally understand why James is retiring but I think he could keep going. He's got so much potential!


Also, the chapter summary nearly made me vomit from nervousness. I was so worried and although I knew it wouldn't be a break up I was so worried and I was thinking the absolute worst but I THINK THIS IS WORSE D':

(Just to let you know, I still think you're a fantabulous writer I just don't necessarily agree with this little part but it's your story so I'll just deal because I really do love this story so so so so so much ♥)

But is James going to take the job at Hogwarts?!


I thought it was a nice notion but hoW COULD HE DO THAT

I dunno, I kind of relate brooms to cars and if anyone told me to do that to my car I would absolutely sob and never do that so I can never really fathom doing something like that :p

Okay, back on track. He's either going to take that job at Hogwarts or he's going to set up something like teaching young kids Quidditch (maybe ones with cancer, other sicknesses etc.) and I really want to know what he's going to do!


And they totally love each other they need to start admitting it soon otherwise they'll never admit it!

And as if Carlotta would know when Quality Quidditch Supplies would close on a Sunday! Silly James! :p

Anyway, this was a really brilliant chapter (even though I don't agree with James' choices) and I can't believe how close we are to the end! D':

Thankfully there will be a sequel though! *takes a deep sigh of relief*

Definite 10/10

- Kayla :)

Author's Response: I knew people would either like this or ... not like it. For what it's worth, I'm a massive sport fan and I hate it when people retire before their time. Because regardless of their reasoning, I sit there going "but you have so much ahead of you, what would possess you to give it up now?" Maybe I'll react differently now, having written this. :)

I think a part of what makes this hard to accept - and what makes it such a big thing for James to do - is that, as you say, he has so much potential. He could play for another twenty years, he could play in countless more World Cups. But for him, he's already achieved what he set out to achieve. Yes, he could win more trophies, but they won't top his first World Cup. He can equal what he's already done, but he can never top that (aside from sheer quantity of medals) and without that drive he has nowhere to go. Also, he feels as though he's not giving anything up or leaving anything behind.

At the end of the day, he chose this career because he thought that was all that was available to him. Now he's learned that the attention and pressure that comes with being a Quidditch player doesn't suit him. If he hadn't won the World Cup, he probably wouldn't have done this so soon, but now he has there's no reason for him to soldier on. Especially now he's found something else he can do. (No spoilers here ... but you're on the right track. SURPRISE.)

And I'll freely admit, I was CRUEL with the summary. In fact, that part of this chapter has been written for YEARS, with the sole aim of making it the chapter summary. I'm not sorry.

Ah yes, Fiona. That bit did make me sad. This is his broom, it's seen him all the way through his professional career... but it's about him bringing this period of his life to an end, and also it's his way of giving something back to James and Lily. :)

You'll learn what James does next in the epilogue. And I wouldn't hold your breath, declarations of love between him and Carlotta won't be coming any time soon. ;)

Yes, the sequel! I really adore James and Carlotta's living situation in Derailed, and so I hope you do too, and that in time you'll come to like what he does next! I totally understand why you're sad that he's retired, and actually it's lovely to know you feel that way because it means you care about James and so I've done my job. :) Thank you for reviewing!

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Review #40, by oldershouldknowbetter sixty-three

4th May 2014:
Don't be sorry, this is perfect.

At the risk of spoilers (though who hasn't guessed by now), I wondered how he would be able to continue his professional career once he became the new Quidditch/flying coach of Hogwarts.

And it is just such a perfect fit with the character you have built up for him. He went off the rails once but the likely hood is that he may very well do so again. Never as badly as he did the first time because the utter insecurity he possessed is now gone. He's made peace with his father and being his father's son.

And he can never do anything better than he has now - at best it can only stay the same. He's done it all, the league win, playing for his country, the world cup win. He absolutely cannot top it. You have brought his character to such a point that the young, very-selfish boy of the beginning of the story has matured (so believably) into a competent adult. He has had a moment of clarity and knows he has to leave it behind. The media will always be a threat to him and may even cause him to slip off the rails once more.

It is truly a great chapter, one of your best. I didn't see the retirement coming, but I think we all saw what is to come after, and the retirement is probably the best way to achieve it.

The character progression of James throughout this story has been wonderful and so well done. You've taken him from the height of his career down to the depths of despair and back up again to even greater heights. And we have believed it every step of the way.

The reactions of everyone to his news were just spot on. He's so happy to pass on the torch to Roxanne especially if she has the potential to be even greater than himself; because that's one thing he's never been, precious. Having his dads reaction confirm his decision was perfect.

Thanks so much for just so much story - 63 chapters! - it has been an amazing journey.

Author's Response: Firstly, thank you SO much. I never once thought this wasn't right for James, but I did worry that other people might not like it. So for you to say that it's perfect means so so much. :)

You're right; a lot of James' insecurities have gone. But he's still this person who despises attention on him for the wrong reasons, and because of that he's become someone who shies away from the attention regardless of what reason it's for. If he hadn't won the World Cup, he'd carry on. But this is a combination of him achieving everything he set out to do, being tired of having to deal with the attention, and learning that he can realise his passion of playing Quidditch and helping others elsewhere, away from the professional arena (your guess might just be right).

I've surprised MYSELF to see how far James has come throughout this fic, and it's lovely to know you've enjoyed following his progress as much as I've enjoyed writing it. THANK YOU for such a wonderful review, and I hope you stick around for the epilogue and the sequel to follow. :)

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Review #41, by Court sixty-three

3rd May 2014:
Well, I'm glad that James is finding new direction in his life. I figure he's going to be the new teachers at Hogwarts? I wonder if he'll have to live at the castle or in Hogsmeade as that may be weird for his relationship with Carlotta. It's nice she's seeming to fit in so fine with everybody and I wonder if her not having magic will become an issue ever? And I'm glad that Freddie really apologized and is trying to work things out. Can't wait for more!

Author's Response: Direction is something James always lacked before, so yes, it's good that he's finally reassessing his life and realising he can take a different path to the one he always thought he had to take. His new job will be revealed in the epilogue. Thanks for reviewing. :)

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Review #42, by HorseMad99 sixty-three

3rd May 2014:
I can't believe after all the sad/not so great things that have happened the burning of fiona is what makes me almost cry. Poor Fiona, anyway this chapter was really good and I'm glad that James is happy and realised it rather than moping about the fact that he has fulfilled his dream and what now etc. but anyway it was a very good chapter.
Beth :)

Author's Response: I got a little bit emotional when he burned Fiona too! :( For James, it's about bringing a period of his life to an end, and also giving something back to James and Lily. I'm glad he's happy too. :) Thanks for reviewing!

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Review #43, by whykay sixty-three

3rd May 2014:
Great way to finish! :) It really is a great idea.

Author's Response: I'm glad you liked it! Thanks for reviewing :)

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Review #44, by Slide sixty-three

3rd May 2014:
D'aww, baking. It's pretty adorable and also delicious. And I love watching the products of the Weasely family having such a fixation with food. Molly would have made sure they were fed well. They will be accustomed to feasts!

I see James may have a little ennui after what could be considered the 'peak' of his career. I doubt it will be (he could Captain England to the World Cup, after all!) but he'd be forgiven for coming down into something of a slump. Ah, good, he has a plan.

I see. Actually, this makes sense. Considering he HAS, yes, like I just said... 'peaked'. Arguably. But moving on to something DIFFERENT (I'm assuming the Hogwarts teacher) seems apt. And like something that would make him happy! I'm not sure why this didn't occur to me sooner. I thought, "No way will he quit," but now he's quitting it makes sense!

That's actually very sad that the attention is killing his love of the game. Not outright, but I imagine a lot of players DO, while loving the game, enjoy some of the attention. It's only natural to enjoy the adulation on some level. But by now James DOESN'T really, with the lifetime of all the fuss. What a shame. At least he's "happy".

*flails at Brie* She really is a sweetheart. And has sorted out Freddie. Or, more importantly, he sorted himself out, with help, and all is going well! *snerk* The Dangerous L Word.

"After all, we had all the time in the world to talk." *twitches* I have a creeping Bad Feeling. Oh God, she's moving in, they're too happy. Something bad's going to -


Good chapter, bro.

Author's Response: I like to think that as time goes on, James becomes a better cook himself, especially when it comes to cake matters. We'll see whether or not this happens. And I'm pretty certain that one of the requirements of being a Weasley is to like food. Four square meals indeed.

We've already discussed this, but as I said before I'm RIDICULOUSLY relieved that this makes sense. Because it's been hinted at for a while, and the general consensus has been "but I don't think he will, and I don't want him to". But I always knew this was going to happen. James isn't good at being a public figure. And yes, as we will see in Derailed he'll be happy.

Freddie pulled through in the end, bless him. I adored the James/Brigid chat, they haven't had enough cute friendly moments. This must be rectified!

Oh, you and your Bad Feelings! You're supposed to say "oh that's cute, this is James saying they're going to be able to spend lots of time with each other etc. etc.", NOT "ONE OF THEM WILL DIE" level stuff. Tsk tsk. Cheers for the review!

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Review #45, by greenphantomme sixty-two

26th April 2014:
Wow! This story is something else I have to say. The amount of work you've put in is phenomenal and it's brilliant to read. I absolutely love the characters and the Quidditch. Love it, love it, love it!

Author's Response: Thank you so much! It's lovely to get feedback about the Quidditch because it's a huge part of the fic and apart I struggle with at times. I'm glad to know you're enjoying it! Thanks for reviewing :)

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Review #46, by Hannah thirty-five

25th April 2014:
I love your story. It's just so uh lord there's no appropriate adjectives to describe. I've seen it floating around for a while but the whole muggle thing put me off I remember thinking "well that can't end well" and scrolling on. But I am so glad I took a chance because I love this. Love all of it. But I love this chapter the most (so far) it's just brilliantly written and oh god these feels it's perf. Well done! :)

Author's Response: Thank you so much! This chapter in particular was lovely to write, I hated it when James and Harry didn't get on! And it was nice to finally be able to pull James out of his lull. :) Thanks for reading and reviewing!

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Review #47, by a rollerball sixty-two

24th April 2014:
why are you keeping us in suspense! please update soon

Author's Response: You know me, I like leaving you all in suspense ;) Thanks for reviewing!

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Review #48, by nott theodore sixty-two

24th April 2014:
Hi! I'm glad I saw that you'd updated this and I actually have a chance to leave a review straight away this time :)

I loved the way that you wrote this chapter. With the excitement of winning the cup, they really did deserve a proper celebration afterwards and I think you captured the spirit of that perfectly. It was quite chaotic with all of the relatives and friends congratulating him, but I think that matched the mood of what was happening really well. Winning the world cup would result in some chaos!

Ah, I smiled so much to see Molly and Arthur waiting at the Hinkypunk for James so that they could congratulate him before leaving - it's exactly the sort of thing that they'd do, but really sweet and touching all the same.

I've said this before, but you always do a brilliant job of managing so many characters getting involved in one scene. I never have any problem keeping all the characters straight in my head and that's always impressive with the sheer number of Weasleys that there are!

I could sense that we're getting to the end of this story more than ever in this chapter, I think, with some resolution being given to what's happened to different characters throughout. But there are still questions about what will happen to them in the future and I'm hoping we'll be seeing more of them in the sequel!

I love the way all of James's family are genuinely so proud of him and happy for him, and their ways of showing that are so different. Getting him to drink in celebration is not necessarily the wisest move, since he's not been drinking through the tournament and he's got the Weasley family dinner at the Burrow tomorrow. I suspect he might regret downing all those drinks in the morning...

Freddie was so funny with the top-shelfer, but it was great to hear about him finally getting some direction in his life, even if his parents seem to have been the ones who made the decision. I don't think they'd have stopped him leaving but I always imagine Fred running the joke shop after his parents and I think George and Angelina just gave him what he needed. The situation with Brigid is still to be resolved though, so I'm looking forward to that!

Ah, Ryan. I loved the fact that he'd made the effort to be at the after-party and celebrate with the winners, even though he'd just suffered the disappointment of losing the world cup final. It really shows how strong their friendship is, and I liked them bonding over their mutual hatred (too strong?) for the Lynches. I couldn't help but smile when he and Della finally kissed - at least he's got something to smile about today!

Uh oh... cliffhanger alert! I don't know why, but I have a bad feeling. I think it must be something to do with the teaching job at Hogwarts and I'm really hoping that James isn't going to take the job (even though he'd be a great teacher) because I can't imagine how that would work between him and Carlotta (could she go to Hogwarts?) and I'd like to see him still playing Quidditch. So I'm hoping he's just seen someone that he can ask to take on the job... although I will probably cope if he does take it :P Unless I'm on the wrong track and James is about to find Carlotta a job or a cure or propose or something...

Sian :)

Author's Response: This chapter was a case of "ticking off all the boxes", so to speak. James needed to have conversations with certain people, so this was the way I did it. Given the situation, it works, because everyone wants to talk to him. :)

Molly and Arthur HAD to see James. I couldn't have them just go home without congratulating him. Bless them. :) I'll admit, sometimes I struggle with the Weasley family. I have them all straight in my head, but I'll still manage to forget to feature them all when I'm writing. It can be frustrating at times. It's chapters like this which allow me to make up for it somewhat!

Don't worry, the sequel will pretty much feature the same people. It's not James' story, but it doesn't stray too far from him. It's very much a continuation of a lot of these characters' storylines. I'm looking forward to it more and more!

You know, when I was writing the next chapter I think I forgot how much James actually drank in this chapter, haha. He's not at all hungover in the morning! Slight oversight on my part there I think, especially as he's been off alcohol for a good couple of months...

Ah, Freddie. He never necessarily wanted to leave the shop, but all the same he didn't want to just be a shop boy all his life. The thought of a promotion within the business hadn't occurred to him, bless! Now he has his own shop to play with. :) And of course now that's settled, he does have a lot more idea of where his life is going, and also a lot more self-confidence. Things with Brigid are resolved in the next chapter (well, resolved off-screen but revealed there).

Hatred is definitely not too strong a word to use when the Lynches are involved! ;)

Oh dear, I don't like your bad feeling. :( Thanks for reviewing!

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Review #49, by Slide sixty-two

24th April 2014:
I grinned through the touching Weasley grandparents moments, and then was ridonkulously pleased at Louis showing up and goading James to drink more. Good Louis. Keep on being an awful influence. D'aww Brigid. I love her, too.

I feel for Vic. I think I can drink like I'm twenty, too. It's still lovely to see the Weasleys turning out like this for James - of course they do, and it's great to see the family behind him but also good to have these snippets of the MAHOOSIVE family (so many Weasleys. So. Many). Yesss, drinks in the World Cup. James is going to suffer in the morning.

Good that Freddie now has a path; nowt wrong with following in the family footsteps and now it's something he's BUILDING, not just helping out. Of course his parents are canny enough to figure that out for him, but it's troubled him for a while? Ryan's still a sweetheart, too. Except for them wanting bodily pain against the Lynches. Ahh well, it's only the Lynches.

A sweet moment between Harry and James. Ahh, James, legs. You know what you like. Good lad. Honest laughter at Carla's summary of what the rest of the team are up to.

Curses, a cliffhanger! This was a very sweet chapter. I see it getting a lot of the emotional ducks in a row.

Admittedly, I have a Bad Feeling About This but we'll see what goes on from here on out. :D

Good stuff!

Author's Response: Touching Weasley grandparent moment made me all gooey inside. Love them. Louis moment made me giggle. Told you he had another moment in this chapter. :)

I think I'm destined never to even have the drinking capacity of a 20 year old, unfortunately. It's a sad fact of life that I'll have to come to terms with at some point. Many many Weasleys, including a few (Teddy included) who I realised I'd rather neglected in recent chapters. I don't even feel as though I lose track of the Weasleys and yet I STILL forget some of James' key relatives.

It was nice to finally give Freddie something to feel good about. Shop manager is perfect for him, it's just a shame George and Angelina took so long to TELL him about it!

Harry/James moment made me squee. As they all do these days. The team is absolutely bladdered, as would you be if you'd just won the World Cup. ;)

This chapter was one of those "ticking off the boxes" chapters, and I now appreciate how hard it can be to write a chapter which ties up loose ends without it feeling like a methodical "and then this happened, and then that happened" sequence. But I think it worked out in the end. CLIFFHANGER, because I love them. I dislike your bad feeling! Don't worry, you'll like what happens in the end.

I hope.

Thanks for the review! :)

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Review #50, by Court sixty-two

23rd April 2014:
It was a great celebration party and fun to see so many different characters there. I'm excited you are writing a sequel as I am very interested to see what happens with Brigid/Freddie, Lily, Maddie, etc. I have to admit at this point I'm more interested in the secondary characters that the James/Carlotta relationship so I'm hoping they get a lot of time in the sequel. It will be interesting to see how Freddie turns his life around and what that will mean for him and Brigid. Thanks for sharing.

Author's Response: It was difficult to write this chapter without it coming across as me going through and ticking all the boxes (because that's exactly what this chapter was planned to be - an exercise in tying up plot threads here and there). I'm pleased with how it turned out in the end, and also that you liked it too. :)

Ah, the sequel. Brigid and Freddie, and indeed Brigid/Freddie, will get a lot of page time, including a fair bit of emotional digging. As for Lily and Maddie, they manage to wade their way into places they're not supposed to be, so they'll definitely feature. The sequel is more of a wider project than Off the Rails - this is primarily about James, whereas Derailed's main plot will be a much bigger thing. :) Thanks for reading and reviewing!

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