Reading Reviews for Beat It
  
51 Reviews Found

Review #26, by randomwriter The problem with Fred

18th March 2014:
Hello :) I'm back for the Gry/Sly blackout battle bingo! :D

I missed Jason in this chapter. He is so breath taking, and I know he isn't real, but I've already fallen for him! Maybe I'm falling to his charms, just like Roxxie :S

Anyway, the lack of Jason Turner in this chapter broke my heart a little, but I understand that there are going to be some chapters like this, especially since we are looking at it from Roxanne's point of view.

I really love George and Angelina in this. They are so supportive and warm :) And even though, we don't get to see George's crazy, mischievous side here, I think the whole overprotective father bit falls perfectly in line with his character. I love how he doesn't give her a mouthful for her taking off with Jason. In stead, he's so kind about it, it really made my heart melt :) Angelina too was just so sweet. I do hope there are more chapters featuring them :)

As much as I love the rest, I really really cannot stand Fred, and this must be the first time. All the while, I was just thinking about how he's being such an idiot to Roxxie and it really wasn't fair at all.

The only CC I have is that there are a few punctuation errors in this. Nothing a quick edit can't fix. Another great chapter :) Hope you update soon.

Author's Response: Yay! You're back! *dances*

Awww he will make an appearance in other chapters, it upsets me that sometimes he has to be absent from some. Why can't he just follow Roxanne around? :P

Haha don't worry, I've fallen for him too! He is breath taking, I agree with you.

I totally miss Jason.

I'm so glad that you love my characterisation of George and Angelina, I wanted them to be very supportive of their kids. They trust their judgements and want them to make their own mistakes and learn from them. But will be there whenever they're needed.

Oh Fred! I really am not liking him, he's not a nice person in my stories. He is a big idiot! I agree.

I shall go back and make those edits, thank you for pointing them out to me. :D

Thank you once again for such a fantastic review! :D


 Report Review

Review #27, by randomwriter A Mistake

16th March 2014:
Hi again :)
Another great chapter!

I think I that I fall more in love with Jason, with each passing chapter. In this one, he was just so awkward and shy and cute. I found it really funny how he asked her to stay, claiming that Winston would want it :p

Both of them seem more mellow after the kiss. Initially, there was witty banter, coupled with sarcastic remarks and some quick-thinking. I can see that the kiss is already altering their relationship. It will be interesting to see where it goes from here.

The side plot about Violet and the creep is also interesting. I found it slightly funny that she may have a stalker :p She seems like a strong no-nonsense kind of person. So her+Roxanne together against The Creep will be really funny :p I'd love to see how they'd handle him.

I did spot a couple of mistakes though. Nothing major. Just a few missed apostrophes and a couple of words that haven't been capitalised. Nothing a quick read through won't fix.

Your story is light hearted and entertaining. It's keeping me thoroughly entertained :)

Author's Response: Awww thank you! :D *squishes*

You can love him, I know that I do. :D And Roxanne does although she's totally denying it at the moment. I really love writing him as shy and awkward around Roxanne, when he was so confident in the first few chapters, but now she's actually there he's turned into this Jason. :P

That kiss has changed a few things between them, they may go back to the witty banter, how can I not when that's Jason. :P

I wanted to show that there's a downside to being a Quidditch player, and he's going to make more of an appearance in this. So he'll be around again.

oh no! Thank you so much for pointing those out, I shall go back and edit those. :D

Thank you so so so much for your fabulous reviews! You make my day!! :D


 Report Review

Review #28, by randomwriter Winston

16th March 2014:
Hello :)
I know that I'm yet to review the middle chapters, but I cheated a little bit, sorry! I'll come back and review them later. Promise!

I love how fast the plot is progressing :) Sometimes, it gets really annoying when we need to wait for about ten chapters before the main characters even like each other (assuming they start off as enemies, as is the case here).

I love Jason here as well. He's so dreamy and perfect. I WANT HIM. I DO. And I love how Roxanne is falling for him. Hard. He's so seductive and alluring and she just can't stop herself. But by the look of things, he's just as smitten. I can't wait to find out more.

It's really funny how Roxanne was witty and cutting earlier, but just a few hours with him and she seems to have warmed up to his company. And your last line certainly made MY insides melt. No doubt.

Great chapter :) Looking forward to the next one.

P.S- If I can't have Jason, can I have Winston? He's so cute :)

Author's Response: Hello! :D

That's perfectly fine! I don't mind :P

I wanted it to go quick quickly, I hate when plots drag out and I wanted Jason and Roxanne to be "Bam! Feelings!" :P It's the charm of Jason, it wears a girl's defences down.

Awww you can ask Roxanne if you can share? Oh yeah she is falling for him hard! I think we all are! :D And yes he is just as smitten as she is.

Yes! It's the charm of Jason, she's not happy with herself for falling so quickly for him. So she'll go back to being defensive but we all know that won't last for long. :D

Thank you so much! Haha yes, you can have Winston! :D


 Report Review

Review #29, by Leeu A Mistake

23rd January 2014:
Love the relationship between them can't wait to find out what happens next!

Leeu

Author's Response: :D I love Jason/Roxanne too :D Thanks for reading! Chapter shall be up soon!

 Report Review

Review #30, by MC_HK A Wasps Attention

18th January 2014:
Review tag! :)

What a fun read! I have never read a story with Roxanne in it before, so I was excited to read this. I find her personality to be hilarious, and the personalities of your other characters to be the same way. The tension/chemistry going on between Jason and Roxanne is executed so well. There are some cheesy lines, but that only adds so much more to Jason's character (which I love by the way!). Everything is spot on--description, conversation, and plot. Sorry it's not much of a helpful review! Not much to improve in my opinion :)

--Monica

Author's Response: Hey!

I'm so happy that you were excited to read my story. :D

Ah Jason/Roxanne tension, that is so much fun to write! I love them! He is so cheesy! He is the king of cheesy lines.

Thank you so so much for your amazingly wonderful review!!! :D


 Report Review

Review #31, by Zoe Winston

22nd December 2013:
PLEASE keep going. This is one of the best fanfics that I have read.

Author's Response: Awww thank you so very much!!! I love your review, you've really made my day, the next chapter is being written soon I promise, it's all planned out already.

 Report Review

Review #32, by shewhomustnotbenamed_ Winston

11th December 2013:
Aw that was too cute, aw I can't wait for her to wake up so they can talk! And Winston is adorable too! Brilliant chapter, can't wait for the next one!! :))

Author's Response: I do love writing Jason and Roxanne together, so there will be a talk when she wakes up.
I'm so glad that you like Winston, I've realised that you don't see many dogs in stories, so I wanted to bring a dog in. :D
Next chapter shall be soon, I promise!


 Report Review

Review #33, by Snowflakes Winston

10th December 2013:
AH its amazing!!! i love this chapter! Please do continue and update soon!!! I've been dying, waiting for a new chapter...:3

Author's Response: Thank you so much!! I am going to be updating soon I promise! I may try and write it today? If not I'll be writing tomorrow hopefully, I've got the day off of work so I'm hoping I can get some writing done.


 Report Review

Review #34, by adluvshp A Wasps Attention

7th December 2013:
Hey! I know I am super duper late in reviewing this for you (you requested it in my thread) but I was so caught up in RL stuff that I didn't remember about the thread, sorry =(

Anyway, I quite like this opening chapter. You have introduced your characters nicely and I am eager to see how they develop and progress in the story. The situation of the Quidditch teams is a solid plot point and I am pleased that you've focused on it since the first chapter itself. The way things are supposedly done in the Quidditch world in your story here is also quite interesting. I like your ideas.

Roxanne seems like a cool character, and Jason seems interesting. I do feel that being an introductory chapter, you should have probably included a little bit more description, such as what these people look like, the settings and environment, and such. That would have been an establishing factor for the rest of the story. Also, another little CC I'd give is to watch out for your grammar. Over all it's okay, but there are a couple of awkward sounding sentences here and there that I think could be fixed, especially when it comes to dialogue.

Apart from that, I think this is a pretty good start. I like the plot, it's something uncommon and fun, and so far it's pretty believable with the rival guy flirting with the girl and stuff. Just make sure it doesn't turn cliche xD The entire chapter flowed smoothly too, and made for an easy read.

Once again, I am awfully sorry for the long wait on this review. I hope it was helpful and I wasn't too harsh. Feel free to re-request. Good luck for the rest of the story!

8/10
Cheers!
AD
(AditiDraco95)

Author's Response: That's okay hun! I'm super late with this response :P

I'm glad that you like the opening, I wasn't sure how to start this story, and I was thinking about the kinds of things that happen during football, which got me thinking on an official party where matches are drawn there and then.

I really enjoy writing Jason and Roxanne, I should go back and add in what they look like, I might edit that in in a minute.
Thank you for the comments, I'm going to go back and edit the chapter and sort out my grammar etc.

Thank you so much for the review hun! I appreciate it, I hope it doesn't turn cliche at all.

Awww your review wasn't too harsh at all, it's all helpful to making the chapters better. :D

Thank you once again!


 Report Review

Review #35, by GoldenFeather Elixir

29th October 2013:
I love this it is brilliant! It is so cool to have something from Roxanne's prospective!

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'm glad that you've liked the story so far! :D More updates to come soon :D

 Report Review

Review #36, by Anonymous Elixir

24th October 2013:
great storyyy i love the plot and the characters!!! keep going!!!

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I shall keep going :P I've just got to write two more things before I write the next chapter of this one. I'm so glad that you love it though. :D

 Report Review

Review #37, by randomwriter A Wasps Attention

11th October 2013:
Hey there :)

I really really like how you've started this off. it's showing great promise! To be completely honest with you, I haven't read many Quidditch scenes. In fact, I've just read some stories that have a couple of chapters dedicated to Quidditch or so... This is probably just the second or third one that I'm reading that has a major focus on Quidditch. So I'm intersted to see hwhat you do with this :)

You've started off the story really well. It's well written and intriguing. I haven't read too many fics with Roxanne as the main character either, so this was really nice and fresh!

I found it quite unique and well-written. Some Quidditch+Romance? Hell! I'm game :D

OH. Can I just say Jason Turner?
*swoons*
Well, I'm not a big fan of overused pick up lines, but these were different, and he seems classy... and HOT! Violet and Roxanne are certainly two very lucky women :P

Great start! I will read on :)

Author's Response: Hello!!

Thank you! I must admit that I absolutely love writing this story, mainly due to Jason Turner. I love him so much, I wish that he were real so I could look at him all day :D

I'm so glad that you've chosen to read this :D I wanted to have Roxanne as the main character as I don't see many people having her as a main character either.

I'm really hoping that this story is going to stay unique, all I know is that I've got so much planned for it :D

Oh yes, you can swoon over Jason Turner! He's so awesome! Roxanne needs to not resist him.

Haha they are very lucky women!

I can't wait to see how you feel about the other chapters :D

Thanks for reading and reviewing :D


 Report Review

Review #38, by Jezebel Elixir

3rd October 2013:
Super cute. Fun to read, clear, concise writing. :) Props! I'm excited to find out more of the backstory about Jason. He's such a nice guy... but why?! Especially as a rival?! Also, wouldn't they have played against each other at Hogwarts?

Author's Response: Thank you so much for this lovely review! There will be more back story on Jason soon, we're just getting to know him. :D Nope there's five years between the two of them :D

 Report Review

Review #39, by Mary W Appleby Arrows v Caerphilly Catapults

11th September 2013:
Love it. Want more of this.

Author's Response: Thank you! More is coming soon! :D

 Report Review

Review #40, by TheHeirOfSlytherin Appleby Arrows v Caerphilly Catapults

9th September 2013:
I love the setup for a game, all the warm up and rituals. It's very cool and so not giving me tips for my own Quidditch stories... ;)

THE BANNER! I LOVE IT!

The game was so intense and awesome and I felt like I was actually watching and NO ONE should ever insult Roxy's techniques. She knows what she's doing!

Roxy and Jerome are so good together, in a working relationship sense, because she totally belongs with Jason. They work so well together, they're awesome.

JASON BROUGHT HER FLOWERS AND A CARD! OH, THE CARD! HE'S SO SWEET SOMETIMES AND JUST LOVELY! I WANT HIM FOR MYSELF! *hugs him*

George has seen that it's love with his own eyes, this should give him time to get used to it. ;)

Brilliant chapter, Tammi!

Sam.

Author's Response: Haha, I hope that you do get tips so that I can read more Xavier/Cody! :P

I'm so glad that you love the banner, after all it was your idea. :P

I'm so happy that you enjoyed the match, I was so scared that I hadn't written it well enough. And you're right, Roxy knows exactly what she's doing!

Haha they do make a good team, don't they? And yes Roxanne and Jason totally belong together.

Jason can be sweet! He just lets his smarmyness show a lot more than he should.

Thank you so much for your wonderful review, Sam!!! :D


 Report Review

Review #41, by TheHeirOfSlytherin Do you want to put a bet on that?

9th September 2013:
OMG! THERE'S SNEAKING AROUND AND FLIRTING AND BANTER AND PLEASE JUST BE TOGETHER ALREADY! YOU'RE KILLING ME HERE!

I love Jason so much! He's like a sexy, sassy teddy bear. I bet he's cuddly underneath this persona. (I may have just compared him to Theo, that's how much I love him!)

Awww, he dreams about her! I don't care if he was just saying it, I believe it to be true!

CONNECTIONS!!! FRED/LEANNE/ALBUS! LOUIS AND RACHEL! OMG!!!

I don't like Fred. Fred is mean. *squishes Albus*

Awww, I love George and Ron and the Weasleys (except Fred, bad Fred), they're all so fun and happy and cool. I just wanna hug them!

This chapter was awesome! NEXT ONE!

Sam.

Author's Response: Oh yes, they are so sneaky! They love to flirt as well, they need to hurry up and get together.

I'm so glad that you love him! and I'm also so glad that he got to be called a Teddy bear and compared to Theo! Made my day!!

Of course he dreams about her, he loves her.

Oh yes, the connections are all there!

Fred is very mean! He's so mean to Albus.

I'm so glad that you really enjoyed this chapter and loved it. Thank you so much for reviewing, Sam!!! :D


 Report Review

Review #42, by ATLpaintingflowers A Wasps Attention

16th August 2013:
I've never really read any quidditch stories, and this is my first one. I really liked it, it had just the right amount of humour and seriousness. This was very well written; the descriptions were amazing, and the transitions were very smooth. The plot was interesting, and you had the reader's attention all the way through. I really liked how you wrote Roxanne, usually she's written as a complete tomboy who detests anything girl related, and this was a nice change. Anyways I really enjoyed this, and I can't wait for chapter 4. :)

Author's Response: Wow, I feel honoured that your first Quidditch story is mine! :P I'm so glad that you liked it. Yay! I'm so happy that you think it's well written. :D That's made my day!

I wanted to have Roxanne being different to how I've seen her portrayed, even though she's a Quidditch star, she still loves makeup and wearing dresses. :D

I'm so glad that you like this story! :D Thank you for reading and reviewing :D


 Report Review

Review #43, by shewhomustnotbenamed_ Do you want to put a bet on that?

3rd August 2013:
Awww he's so cheesy it's adorable, I'm hoping that Roxanne doesn't resist it cause I'm currently shipping it so hard ahah. I love this story, it's brilliant, please update soon! :D

Author's Response: He is very cheesy isn't he? :P She won't be able to resist for long. I'm so glad that you're shipping them, I ship them too. :P
Thank you so much for your wonderful review and for reading! The next chapter will be up soon! :D


 Report Review

Review #44, by heartjily4ever The morning after

21st July 2013:
Hi this is PrimeSuspectsAreNargles again. I'm glad you wanted to do another entry. This one is really good as well. It fits in really well with the quote. I'm sad that Turner wasn't in it (I do like him) but I am starting to really like Violet as well. This whole chapter is good, with drunk Quidditch players. I can't imagine it went too well. As in the last review, the results will be up in a blog entry soon

Author's Response: I loved your challenge so much! I just had to do another entry. :P

I'm glad that you think I fit the quote in well, I need to find more quotes to use in this story!

I'm sad that he wasn't in it too, but I couldn't think of anyway to include him unless he broke into the house or garden. he would probably have done that though. :P

Oh no, it didn't go too well at all :D

Thank you so much for the review and for making the amazing challenge! :D


 Report Review

Review #45, by heartjily4ever A Wasps Attention

21st July 2013:
This is PrimeSuspectsAre Nargles, and sorry about the super long wait to review.
I love this chapter. Seriously, Turner is my favourite character so far. He reminds me of James, in a slightly more stalker like way. The way you fitted in my quote as well, was really good. It so fitted in. I love the general sound of your story as well. Thank you for entering my competition, and I will be posting a blog entry with the results soon.

Author's Response: Hey! I'm sorry about the long wait it's taken to respond to this.

Yay! I'm so glad that you love this chapter! And Jason is your favourite character! Woo! I love Jason. :D He needs more love.

Haha he is coming off as a stalker, isn't he?

I loved using the quotes in this story, they gave me so many ideas on how to use them, so thank you for coming up with the challenge idea!

Thank you so much for reading and reviewing.


 Report Review

Review #46, by navyfail The morning after

17th July 2013:
I kind of missed Jason this chapter. I hope to see him soon with his grins, smirks, and cheesy lines. I love how you portrayed George and Angelina. They seem so in-character. I would love to have George's hat, lol. And how George got protective was very sweet.

Also I have noticed that you have put the chapters of this story for the Grease quote challenge. You have done a lovely job with the quotes in my opinion. They fit in with situations you put them in and seem very natural. I wouldn't be surprised if you ended up getting a place(first, second, or third) in the challenge.

Update soon. Can't wait to read the third chapter.
~Sama

Author's Response: He's in the next one, don't worry. :D I couldn't think of a way to include him in this chapter without sneaking him into the house somehow. :P

He's in the next one though, flirting with Roxanne. :P

Thank you for saying that! I'm so glad that they seem in character, I always get so worried about writing Canon characters.

Yep, the Grease quote challenge has given me a lot of ideas for this story, I might have to continue finding quotes to use. :D I'm so glad that you think that they fit in and seem natural to use. :D Thank you so so much for your amazingly kind words!

The next chapter is up! :D I can't wait to see what you think of it.


 Report Review

Review #47, by navyfail A Wasps Attention

17th July 2013:
I was looking for a story to read when I came across yours. Reading the summary I was like hmm...a quidditch story..definitely want to read that.

First off, I think you have a lovely beginning. I already know a couple of characters and have a good feel of how Roxanne and Jason are like. The quidditch rivalry has been introduced and it feels like the plot is starting or has already started.

Roxanne seems like a sensible character. And Violet seems nice. And they do both like their quidditch men..well, looking at them from afar.

Jason seems very interesting..very interesting indeed. I kind of want to know his motives already but then that may give away the whole story. I really like his flirty, carefree nature. Though he is kind of arrogant. :P Best part is that both of the main characters are beaters. I always found that beaters have the most fun role in Quidditch and the most amusing personalities.

One thing I came across: "I have higher standards then you." I think the 'then' is supposed to be 'than.' Then is used for time and than is used for comparison which that sentence is using.

All in all, fantastic chapter. Now for the second chapter.

~Sama

Author's Response: :D YAY! I'm so happy that you came across my story, I really hope that you continue to enjoy it.

Thank you, I was worried that I wasn't giving enough information away to keep people interested

Oh yes, they do like to watch the Quidditch men, even if it is from afar :D

Haha, oh Jason! I love him so much! He really has taken a shining to Roxanne. Oh yes he is very arrogant, but I'm glad that you like his flirty carefree nature. I always imaging Beaters to have a lot more fun than the others. :D

Whoops! Thanks for pointing that out, I shall go back and edit that. :S

Thank you so much for your wonderful review and for reading. :D


 Report Review

Review #48, by TheHeirOfSlytherin The morning after

17th July 2013:
Tammi!

Haha, the night after was almost as good as I imagined. (Okay, all I imagined was Roxy waking up with Jason and since I didn't exactly expect it to happen, the night after is awesome!) :D

I love that they're so hungover, they're actually falling onto the grass. And that Violet felt like she couldn't move. I just had to laugh. I can't wait to find out more about their team, especially Shawn, since he has an awesome name and was nice enough to help them home!

I NEED MORE JASON! Can't wait to see him again! :P

Awesome chapter!

Sam.

Author's Response: SAM!

Haha I should have had that happen, but you need to be patient for that scene to appear :P

Oh yes, they are very hungover, I wanted to show that even they're not immune to the effects. There will be more about them soon, the next chapter I'll be writing is the teams first Quidditch match. :D

JASON WILL BE SOON!!! :D

Thanks Sam!


 Report Review

Review #49, by magnolia_magic The morning after

17th July 2013:
Back for chapter 2!

I love your use of the Grease quote; it cracked me up, and I think that was a very appropriate situation for Roxie to say it. I liked the dynamic of the team as a whole, and I'm starting to especially love Violet. She seems like a fun person and a good friend for Roxie.

I always love to see George pop up in nextgen fics! He seems like he'd be such a cool dad, and I think you really did him justice here. Roxie's parents seem to be very supportive, and I'm glad to see that she can be open with them about her life (even though I can't imagine talking to my parents about creepy guys like Jason.) This is continuing to be a fun, lighthearted read, and I'm so glad I stumbled across it! Keep up the awesome work!

--Maggie

Author's Response: I loved using the Grease quotes, I'm tempted to use more in the other chapters of the story, they give me lots of ideas!
Yay! you love Violet! I love writing her, I can't wait to include her more in the story.

I love it too! I always want to know how he's doing with his life now he's older and that. Wow, that's made my day that you think that :D *hugs*

I wanted to have them as a close family that would help each other out and be very open with each other.

I'm so glad that you stumbled across my story too! You've made my day with your wonderful reviews :D


 Report Review

Review #50, by magnolia_magic A Wasps Attention

17th July 2013:
Hi! I'm so glad this caught my eye; it looks like a really fun story! I'm already loving the tension between Jason and Roxanne. There's always that one guy around who takes things way too far, and it seems to me like that guy is Jason. He's going to have to shape up in order for me to like him, and I hope Roxie feels the same way :)

I like the view of the inner workings of the Quidditch league you show us. You know, I've never read anything like it before, but it makes sense that all the teams would have meetings and rivalries and such. I think this was a very creative way to begin a pro-Quidditch story.

Great start! I hope to be able to read more :)

--Maggie

Author's Response: I'm glad it caught your eye too! I love writing this story so I'm so happy that you're enjoying it so much. Haha, Jason and Roxanne have a lot of tension between them, which is only going to get a lot worse. :P

I was trying to think of what footballers might have to go through and I wanted to try and incorporate that into my story. I can imagine all of the ceremony's being similar.

Thank you so much for your kind and amazing review! :D


 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login

<Previous Page   Jump:     Next Page>