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Reading Reviews for The Year You Stole My Heart
79 Reviews Found

Review #26, by Harry and Ginny Chapter 22

30th August 2013:
aww finally Albus did something! it's about time that Albus and Mariah got together and I thought it was funny that she was shocked at what he did! also, I found funny Adam's reaction to finding out that James and Amelia were snogging and I hope that he asks her to be his girlfriend soon! can't wait to see how everyone will react to this last part of the chapter between Albus and Mariah... can't wait to read the next chapter!^_^


Harry and Ginny

Author's Response: Yep! Albus has finally done something about his feelings for Mariah! :P Oh, Adam. He knew something was going on, he's not happy but there's not much he can do.
The reaction will be in the next chapter, don't you worry! :P

Thanks for reading and reviewing!!

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Review #27, by BBWotter Chapter 22

30th August 2013:
Aww Al and Mariah are my babies. So cute >.

Author's Response: They are cute, aren't they? :D I love Al and Mariah too. :D

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Review #28, by Harry and Ginny Chapter 21

25th July 2013:
I loved this chapter! it was funny to see Amelia all fidgety because Scorpius and Lily were questioning her about her and James... and Albus and Mariah are definitely getting closer! it was very sweet of him to comfort her when she needed and I wonder what is going to happen now between them... can't wait to read more!^_^


Harry and Ginny

Author's Response: Yay! I'm glad that you loved this chapter! :D Amelia can't hide her feelings from them all, they're very good at questioning. :D Yep, Albus and Mariah are getting very close to each other now. :P He cares for her really, he just thinks that it's feelings of hatred, not love. :P
Thanks for the review!! :D

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Review #29, by BBWotter Chapter 21

25th July 2013:
*Squeals* THAT IS CUTE, kinda sad, BUT SO CUTE!! Alby's got a crush hehhehe thanks for an amazing chapter! :D xx

Author's Response: Aww yay! Alby does have a crush, on his mortal enemy of all people! :D I'm so glad that you liked this chapter :D
Thanks for being amazing!!!

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Review #30, by Harry and Ginny Chapter 20

28th June 2013:
haha Albus is really something, isn't he? it's funny how he attached himself to Scorpius and was forced to let him go by everyone, including his father! loved the last moment of this chapter where Amelia and James were together for a bit! I wonder if in the next chapter, where they go to Hogwarts, James will ask Amelia to be his girlfriend... can't wait to read more!^_^


Harry and Ginny

Author's Response: He really is, Albus is a very special kind of wizard. Doesn't really care how he acts towards people. Although he does love Scorpius and didn't like to be told to let him go.
Yep James and Amelia has finally happened again. Well James is going to Romania soon, so who knows?

Thanks for your review hun! :D

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Review #31, by Harry and Ginny Chapter 19

6th May 2013:
aww slowly James and Amelia will get closer and I hope that Amelia reconsiders the chance of not having anything with James before the ending of the school year! and I wonder how Amelia's brother will take this relationship between James and Amelia... can't wait to read the next chapter!^_^


Harry and Ginny

Author's Response: Yep they're slowly getting together :p And you'll have to see if she reconsiders, there's a high chance that she might? :p
Adam shall find out quite soon actually, as for his reaction? Well...

Thanks for the review!

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Review #32, by Hannah Chapter 18

25th April 2013:

Author's Response: Haha yep it's finally happened! :D

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Review #33, by Harry and Ginny Chapter 18

22nd April 2013:
wow! finally something happened between Amelia and James! I can't wait to read the next chapter because I want to see what they are going to do after kissing each other!^_^


Harry and Ginny

Author's Response: Yep something finally happened! :D
The next chapter should be coming out soon, I just have to edit it I think? I'm really going to have to start writing this story again, I'm almost out of chapters I've already written haha.
Thank you for reading and reviewing!

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Review #34, by Harry and Ginny Chapter 17

14th April 2013:
haha Albus is such a character! I love reading every bit when Albus is acting all crazy and even more, Albus finally kissed Mariah, even if it was just to shut her up! can't wait to read more!^_^


Harry and Ginny

Author's Response: I love Albus so much! He's so much fun to write.
Yep he finally kissed Mariah, even if he did run away from her almost straight away.
Next chapter should be up soon! I've just got to edit it :D
Thank you for reading and reviewing!

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Review #35, by Harry and Ginny Chapter 16

26th March 2013:
aww I loved that Amelia and James are getting closer as each chapter is updated! and finally we saw a different side from Mariah towards Albus, though I wonder how they will act towards each other from now on... can't wait to read the next chapter!^_^


Harry and Ginny

Author's Response: Oh yes, James and Amelia are definitely getting closer :p
Oh yes, Mariah let her guard down for just a second and let her true feelings show. But you'll have to see if she acts on it.
Thank you for reading and reviewing!

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Review #36, by SourGrapeSnape Chapter 16

26th March 2013:
I absolutely love this. Even though James and Amelia are basically the main couple here, I really like to read more about Albus and Mariah. Perhaps it's because I like the best friends falling in love thing a lot. Also it feels really real that they can't confess their feelings, even to themselves. It's not that easy. And it's true and real. I don't know if this makes sense, what I'm saying.
I love it :)

Author's Response: :D You're the best!! :D I absolutely love you!
Albus and Mariah are basically the secondary couple of this story, it's all about them two and James and Amelia, I wanted you all to see how Albus and Mariah finally got together.
I'm so glad that you think that this story seems real :D It makes perfect sense!
Thank you so much for your wonderful review :D You're the best!

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Review #37, by LillyLuna Chapter 15

3rd March 2013:
this is a review of the whole story so far! I think it is amazing! i really really like it! i love the fact that Amelia has a crush on James, i think it is really cute. and i am glad him and Sarah broke up because i didn't really like her. but yeah it is absolutely amazing, please write more xx

Author's Response: Thank you so much! You're amazing! I'm so glad that you're liking this story and so happy that you reviewed.
I didn't like Sarah either so I'm glad she's gone too.
I've actually written up to about chapter 20 on this story so far so I can update hopefully pretty quickly, but there's going to be quite a few chapters of this story :D

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Review #38, by Harry and Ginny Chapter 15

2nd March 2013:
haha I laughed when I read that Albus was jealous about Mariah being on a date with her cousin and Albus didn't know who he was... lol and James and Amelia are getting closer and closer! great job on this fic so far! can't wait to read more!^_^


Harry and Ginny

Author's Response: :D Oh Albus, how I love writing him so much! He really needs to admit to his love for Mariah :D
Oh yes, the James and Amelia romance is blossoming for sure :D More is on it's way my lovely!

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Review #39, by BBWotter Chapter 15

2nd March 2013:
Cute! Love this story to bits! :))
1000/1000 xx

Author's Response: Oh wow 1000/1000! Thank you so much! I'm so glad that you love this story, I love you! :D

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Review #40, by Harry and Ginny Chapter 14

20th February 2013:
haha Adam and James! lol I laugh when they do funny shows of display of their bromance... loving the story so far and I can't wait to read more!^_^


Harry and Ginny

Author's Response: Yay, I love Adam and James too, I love writing them together so much and I love their bromance, it basically writes itself :D
Next chapter shall be soon hun! :D
You're awesome!

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Review #41, by Harry and Ginny Chapter 13

27th January 2013:
wow! Albus was worried about Mariah's health? things are getting interesting between these two! and I feel bad for James because basically his girlfriend was only with him for who his family was! can't wait to read the next chapter!^_^


Harry and Ginny

Author's Response: Yeah he was :D He let a little bit of his emotion get out there. I feel sorry for him too :-( He deserves so much better, like Amelia :D
Thanks for reading hun!

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Review #42, by Hannah Chapter 7

26th January 2013:
Is Mariah an animagus?

Author's Response: No she's not, are you asking because of Toby? :D He's just a regular toad.

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Review #43, by Harry and Ginny Chapter 12

30th December 2012:
James acting the way he does when he's joking with Adam makes me laugh! I can't wait to see Amelia and James acting on their feeling towards each other in the next few chapters! that pairing is awesome! that and seeing Albus/Mariah moments as well! they're hilarious in this story!^_^


Harry and Ginny

Author's Response: Hello hun!! How are you? I love seeing your reviews, they always make my day :D
I love writing James and Adam they've got such a funn bromance going on :D Mariah and Albus are just crazy! I love writing them as well, so I'm so glad that you're still enjoying them :D

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Review #44, by academica Chapter 10

30th December 2012:
Hi! This is your tenth Secret Santa review out of ten!

The scene with Adam and Amelia's mother was cute. I like that she has that knowing, motherly quality where she can see that Amelia and James are meant to be. Hopefully James will figure it out soon, too :)

The whole potion thing was interesting. I don't know how realistic I find the idea of people fiddling aimlessly with potions, given that they can have disastrous effects if they go wrong. However, I guess it might make sense if someone was given potions ingredients as a gift, like a toy. I wonder if the love potion will work as planned with Albus and Mariah? Knowing them, it's not likely... haha.

Well, this has been fun! I hope you've been enjoying your reviews, and I look forward to seeing your responses. Have a great rest of your holidays!

~*your slytherin secret santa*~

Author's Response: James will figure it out soon enough, he's just focused on his girlfriend at the moment, although he does have a small thing for Amelia :D
I wanted Adam to be so into potions that he would have a cauldron at home, albeit a gift one like you said. The potion doens't even get to Mariah and Albus in the end, Adam wouldn't let it happen. He and everyone else knows that Mariah and Albus love each other, although they won't admit to it.
I've really enjoyed reading these reviews, thank you so much for doing these as a secret santa gift (the best gift I might add :D) and thank you so much for all of your help with the chapters, they've been such a great help and I'm going to go back and do some editing :D
Thanks again!

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Review #45, by academica Chapter 9

30th December 2012:
Hello again! I'm here to finish up your gift :) This is review nine of ten.

I really liked how you used Scorpius and Albus's distinctly different wardrobe choices to elucidate the differences between them. It was funny to imagine Scorpius being all put together and matching, and then to picture Albus trailing after him wearing a sweater with the wrong initial.

It was also neat to see the different career paths for your characters (and other next-gen kids). I like the idea of shadowing someone in your chosen career, sort of like an miniature internship. I liked how not everyone was on board--for example, how Kelly felt like it was a bit like being a teacher's pet. James's little internship sounds the coolest by far!

This chapter did seem a little too short to me, though. I felt like it ended prematurely, and it would have been nice to get more of the conversation or maybe the scene where the train pulls into the station. However, I can also see how you can only describe a train ride in so much detail.

Nice work! I'm onto my final review! :)

~*your slytherin secret santa*~

Author's Response: Yay, I'm glad that you liked that. Scorpius cares a lot about how he looks and presents himself, whereas Albus just seems to grab the first thing that comes to hand.
It's not too often that I've read a next gen where they're all talking about their careers, except to be a Quidditch player, so I wanted to put this in. It also made sense for them to have work experience like we do in the UK (I'm not sure if other countries do that too?) so for them to volunteer to help out teachers or take part in things like that would make sense to me.

I think I might add a bit onto this chapter about them arriving at the station, just so it doesn't end so quickly, thank you for suggesting that :D

Thank you so much! I really love these reviews! They're helping me out so much :D

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Review #46, by academica Chapter 8

29th December 2012:
Hello again! This is review eight of ten. I'm taking a break after this one to answer some of my own reviews, but I'll be back to finish before January 1st.

I loved the beginning of this chapter, with Amelia spying on James and his girlfriend. I can definitely see some trouble brewing there, and I bet James would be happier with someone more low-maintenance, like... oh, I don't know... Amelia? Haha. It was cute how she got so distracted that she almost forgot about her rounds.

I also liked the little "date" that was set up for Albus! That love letter was great--I'm assuming you wrote it yourself, and I thought you did an awesome job. At first I thought that we were going to see the beginnings of Albus's romantic relationship with Mariah here, but the prank was a funny surprise. I can't help but wonder when things will take a more serious turn with those two.

One thing I've noticed throughout the story is that sometimes the dialogue doesn't sound perfectly realistic. I think I've mentioned this before, but it can help to observe people in real life and watch how they speak. I don't know what your nationality is, so part of this could be cultural differences. I'm American, and it just seems to me like a normal teenager would be more likely to say 'how should I know?' rather than 'how am I meant to know?' for instance. Sometimes it can also help to read things out loud to yourself and see if you could imagine yourself talking that way at around that age.

Nice work so far! I'll be back later to finish up :)

~*your slytherin secret santa*~

Author's Response: I'm so happy that you want James and Amelia to get together, she is a lot better then his girlfriend, definately low maintenance like you said :D

Oh yeah I wrote that love letter myself, how could you tell? haha. That took me a good hour to write that, it was hard to think of rhyming words and cheesiness (not sure that's how you spell that word :-S) so thank you for thinking it was awesome :D
Things will take a more serious turn just after the christmas holidays for them, something's going to happen to change them and make them realise their feelings for each other.

I'm from England :D With the dialogue I just write the things how I would say them, I quite often say, "How am I meant to know?" haha, but I shall observe people and how they speak, that is a great idea so thank you for suggesting it :D

Yay! I am loving these reviews! :D

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Review #47, by academica Chapter 7

29th December 2012:
Hi! This is review seven of ten :)

I really liked getting a look at the origins of Albus's feud with Mariah in this chapter. I had definitely been wondering what could have come between them, and I think the tense atmosphere of a chess game would be the perfect catalyst for such a rivalry. It was great how you did the play-by-play of the event, too, with Amelia hanging on in suspense as Adam told the story.

The section with Neville was cute, too. I felt like the same awkward phrasing I noticed in the previous chapter appeared there; I had trouble figuring out the timeline, because it seemed like you were describing the long-distance marriage as being in the present, and then past. I did like how he was the one to find the toad, though, and how it reminded him of old Trevor.

Oh, and the toad itself was funny, too. I've never heard of a toad eating people's clothes, but it was definitely a humorous image, and I liked how you ended the chapter with James hoping that his own clothes wouldn't fall victim before he could return it.

Onto the next one :)

~*your slytherin secret santa*~

Author's Response: I'm glad that you liked that, I wanted them to fall out over something that would seem pathetic to other students around them. Thank you :D

Whoops, I shall go back and take a look at that, Neville's marriage is definately in the present haha. I love writing Neville, even though he's an adult and teacher I just love him being all cute, I wanted to have Neville seeing a toad again, I wish that Trevor was still around with him :-(

I love that toad, he's evil and really hates Albus in this story, he's always out to get him one way or another. I wanted to make him a toad that other's would fear :D It makes me so happy that you like him :D

Yay! I can't wait to read more of your reviews :D They make me so happy!

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Review #48, by academica Chapter 6

28th December 2012:
Hello again! This is review six of ten :D

The awkward spacing is back in this chapter! Hopefully you can go back with the simple editor and edit this later to fix that issue.

I really liked the way you portrayed Mariah's character in this chapter. I immediately got a sense of just how full of herself she is from the short commentary on middle names at the beginning. The whole theme of her school supplies sort of amplified this idea throughout much of the chapter; she was so proud of herself for learning the Shrinking Spell and not having to lug around a ton of books, but then she didn't think about having to learn the counter-curse to return her supplies to normal. The whole thing was quite amusing! :) In fact, I would love to see you "humanize" Albus in the same way, to tell us more about who he is underneath all the pranks and awkwardness.

I would consider adding a line break to separate scenes where time passes, just for clarity's sake.

I must have somehow missed the fact that Scorpius is attracted to men, or else I forgot about it since the last time I reviewed this story. Anyway, I think it's kind of cute, and it provides some good comic relief for the Quidditch scene. I would have liked to see a little more of the actual game--I'm terrible at writing action scenes, so I can understand if you wanted to avoid it. However, I also liked how you ended the chapter abruptly with the score, though I think it would have been even more dramatic if you had added another snide comment from a Gryffindor about how they would win, just to give Scorpius's comment a challenge.

Hoping to see more Amelia/James action soon :)

~*your slytherin secret santa*~

Author's Response: I really need to just post from notepad all the time, I don't have problems with notepad with spacing. It always frustrates me when I post from word because I try to delete the extra spaces, and then it adds more spaces. It's my own fault really :D I need to remember to post from notepad.

Oh yes Mariah is definately full of herself, I loved writing that scene where she thought that she was better then everyone else and it turned out she really wasn't, I'm not sure if I've written something like that with Albus? But I definately shall include something like that.

Yes, thank you, I shall add the line :D

I think I've mentioned it before? *needs to go back and look* I think I was too scared to attempt to write the Quidditch scene, I don't think I've really written one before, but I shall try to write one and edit it in :D

There is definately more James and Amelia soon :D

Thanks my secret santa :D hehe

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Review #49, by academica Chapter 5

28th December 2012:
Hi! I'm back for another round of reviews! This one is number five of ten, all in the name of Secret Santa :)

I really liked the interaction between Adam and Amelia. They seem like the typical brother and sister: they pick on each other and don't usually get along, but they're willing to help one another out when the person really needs it. Hopefully Adam can help Amelia work on her Potions mark.

One thing I noticed is that the flow doesn't seem quite right in parts of this chapter. I think it has to do with the way you described Albus and Scorpius's interaction as if it had already occurred earlier. The use of past tense seems a little awkward. I think it would sound better if you allowed the interaction to play out in real time and just gradually brought the chapter through the events of the first day (when Albus is in the hospital) and into the second day.

I also noticed some issues with comma use here; I think I've pointed this out in previous reviews. You tend to use them when they're not needed (for example, instead of a period or to break up a run-on sentence) and don't include them when they might be appropriate (e.g., in the natural breaks where you would take a breath if speaking). There's probably a tutorial on the forum that could help with this issue.

It'll be interesting to see what sort of trouble Albus and Mariah get into next. This was a nice chapter!

~*your Slytherin secret santa*~

Author's Response: Hello there! yay you're back :D I love Secret Santa :D

I'm so happy that they seem like regular brothers and sisters, I was trying to think how me and my brother act around each other, and I must say that Adam and Amelia seem to be a lot nicer to each other haha. So it's not totally based on me and my brother at all, it's like the opposite.

I really need to work on my past and present tense :S Thank you for the suggestion, that is a really good idea. You are seriously helping me out big time with these reviews, I'm so happy that you're saying these things as they're helping me out as a writer. Thank you!

I really need to look at that tutorial, comma's seem to be the bane of my exsistence at the moment haha. I never know when to use too much or not enough, or to put a full stop there.

Thank you so much :D You're such a big help to me and I really appreciate it :D and I'm so glad that you liked this chapter.

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Review #50, by academica Chapter 4

21st December 2012:
Hi! This is review four of ten!

I don't think I've mentioned this, but I really like how you shift from the main plotline with Amelia to this side plot involving Albus and Mariah. I've done that with some of my stories and I think it's fun, and it spices things up for readers.

Speaking of Albus, this--

He would have gone out in his underwear but he didn't want people jealous of his body.

--made me laugh out loud. He's almost the most awkward next-gener I've ever seen, except maybe for Toujours_Padfoot's Scorpius in Le Scorp! I also like that he's the Quidditch player in the family; as I said before, it's usually James, and I like how you've changed things up here.

I do kind of feel bad for Albus, though. It seems like Mariah usually gets the better end of the deal in their little torture exchanges. I kind of hope his brother and friends will eventually back him up, but I sense that maybe that's too much to ask for. I do think it will be hard for me to accept the idea of them becoming a couple, as it seems you might be hinting at, if they're this cruel to each other. To add to this, I would suggest putting in some extra character dimension, to show the other sides of each of them and give us some idea as to what common ground they have between them.

I am wondering what will happen when the professors figure out that the detentions weren't done correctly. You might introduce that next, though, so hopefully I'll find out soon. Oh, and same thing as before with the technical stuff.

Okay, this is all I have time for right now. I'll be back to finish out the other six reviews for you :)

~*your slytherin secret santa*~

Author's Response: Hiya!!! :D

Aww yay, thank you, I was worried that it would get annoying me doing that. I like it as your not always stuck reading the same two people throughout the whole story.

Haha I'm glad that made you laugh, in the unedited version of the chapter he does go outside like that, but I changed it to him borrowing some clothes.
Oh I love Le Scorp! Scorpius in that is just hilarious!

Oh Albus, he tries to give as good as he gets, I'm not sure if it's soon but there is a point where Albus pushes Mariah into a plant during Herbology, which tries to eat her. So he's got maybe one upper hand?
Oh his family won't help him, they love seeing him being tortured like that haha. I will definately add some character dimension to them, :D They do eventually calm down with their cruelty to each other, and start to realise some feelings.

I don't know if I've even written what happened? I can't remember, I really hope I did :S

Thank you so much hun!! I am loving these so much! :D

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