hai.nice story...but how come Harry dint recognise his mom at the party?? Report Review
Wow..FINALLY!! You took quite a long tym to update..but it was good...the chapter was really very good..Can't wait for the next..
~~emmapotter~~ Report Review
finally some progress in the story...hope u keep writing coz ur story is great...update soon... Report Review
Great chapter! I've been following this story for awhile! Anyway, it was really cool that they finally figured out they were James and Lily! Woot! :]! Anyway, about errors, the only thing I noticed was one time instead of typing "message" you typed "massaged." LOL! But, again, great chapter! Update soon! And Happy Birthday! Report Review
update soon!! Report Review
I like this story. It's an interesting idea, and it flows pretty well, in my opinion. Good luck with the next chapter! I hope you get over that annoying wall. It's been in my way lately, too. But you'll get through it, and make an awesome chapter. Looking forward to it!
* Report Review
i dont get it
How come Remus cant recognise her, does she not look like Lily???Author's Response: You'll see Report Review
wow, cool 1st chapterAuthor's Response: Thank you Report Review
I thought the way that they're going to be 'secret friends' was really neat, and the whole scene out in the snow was really interesting too. Fantastical job.Author's Response: Thank you! I needed someway to get past the book, seeing as they were supposed to be enemies and all. Report Review
The chapter was a bit..dull as nothing much went on it in, but the writing was still fabulous.Author's Response: Yes I know. Blame writer's block. :( Report Review
this was a really nice chapter! it's nice to go back to that time after all of the flashbacks. i can't wait for more!Author's Response: Thank you! It was nice for me too
Just a thing though. Is this chapter taking place right after the first one or is there some time between the chapters?
Just asking because usually people waking up from a coma (specially a 21 years one) can't walk, have problems to speak, etc. They have to learn to do everything like a little child. They no longer have muscles. It's like when you break a leg you have to go to rehab to walk because you didn't use your leg for a short amount of time.
Apart from that I'm looking forward for the first flashback!Author's Response: Yes, I'm aware of that. When I wrote chapter two I wasn't though, and I guess I just figure that since it's a story I'll use some creative license. Report Review
But seriously I need to have a beta session with this chapter... I had a few little grammarfreak!twitches during there that I need to correct ASAP.
~ CarolineAuthor's Response: LOL, okay beta dear. Report Review
Yea! Im so happy this story's back!
Nicely written chapter!Author's Response: Thank you! Report Review
cool chapti. . . when is lily going to relize who she is? is jimmy james? update soon. . .Author's Response: Well, she kinda has an idea of who she might be, but she's still in a little denial. Report Review
maybe in the next chapter they will start to get to know each other and the glamor that is on them will start to change and they will turn back into their normal selves. And harry will come to realize the reason why the parents bones are gone is because they live. hope this helps. Report Review
now who might this jimmy character REALLY be???
update soonAuthor's Response: Hmm, who knows? Report Review
is james alive too??Author's Response: Maybe, maybe not. *grins* Report Review
lolz. I loved it! Keep up the realli great work! I can't wait to read more!!
100/10Author's Response: Thank you! ^_^ Report Review
I hope you've gotten over your writer's block!
But if you haven't, a good trick I use, I make notes while I write my story to tell me where I want the story line to go.
Or, if you don't want to do that, just go back and read your story over; you'll get an idea from something, even if it's just for a filler chapter, something can come from the filler chapter.
100/10Author's Response: I haven't unfortunately. It seems to have hit all of my stories hard too. I just stare at a blank computer screen knowing what's going to happen, but not being able to put it in words.
Hopefully it'll end soon though, and I'll try take your advice! Report Review
Omg, I love ur story, I check every week for updates... Speaking of which, any coming up soon?? Pretty please update soon. I can't wait to see how:
1. HHr happens
2. Harry discovers who Lily is / Lily discovers who Harry is
3. What happened to James if his bones are still missing
Waiting impatiently in anticipation..
PS: HHr all the way!Author's Response: Thank you! Chapter Sixteen is almost done! It will be up next week, most likely. It will be a long one...at least compared to my other chapters. Report Review
Here I am as requested. :)
This was a very good chapter. I did think that it went a little too fast. Other then, that I believe that it was very good, well detailed, and fine description. I have an obsession over description.
I thought it was funny the way Hermione bust into the room. I do think that you should add more description (forgive the description monster inside of me). I really couldn't see what you were typing, but that just my option, some readers like less description while others like a lot. I just happen to be one of the ones that like a lot of description.
The dialog was great. I can't do dialog very well but you did it perfectly. Though their was one line that I didn't quiet get:
"My! We've got an amnesia patient!" the black woman exclaimed.
I think you should put a comma after 'My' and also you should capitalize 'the' whenever you type the black woman. I'm no Beta, so if it looks right to you by all means leave it.
I hoped I helped some. By the way you should know, I only review two chapters but if you want me to review more than that just post it on my thread when their's an open slot. I really enjoyed this chapter.9/10
Browneyes Report Review
Okay, so I'm all finally caught up. I was a little confused in this chapter, but I liked it. I've really enjoyed the last two chapters. They're well written and pretty good! I'm definitely interested to read more! This plot is really good, so great job!Author's Response: Thank you! What were you confused about? Report Review
Another great chapter! I like the flashbacks a lot - it really adds a lot of depth into Lily's character. And you're creative with them. I like how Carolyn got sorted into Slytherin and how she comes to learn early about the rivals of the houses.
I don't really think you should have the author's not in the middle of the story. If you couldn't write a speech, there are still other more creative waves to get around it. It just looks a little sloppy with it in front of that. You could have some sort of distraction or something, like James playing with his food, so she doesn't really pay attention/hear Dumbledore's speech until the last bit. Just a suggestion.Author's Response: Yeah, I think I'm going to go through this story soon and edit it (write it all in past tense, fix various spelling errors) and maybe then I'll go to the Help Needed/Offered thread.
Okay, so I really liked this chapter. It's probably one of the bests so far. I just like the added detail and Lily trying to figure out for herself what's going on.
I'm still not quite sure why Hermione would have to act as her babysitter. It said before it was until she got her memory back, but isn't there a chance that her memory won't come back? I just don't think it would make sense for a healer to be watching her.
But besides this, this is really turning out great. The plot is interesting still and i'm definitely going to keep reading because I'm curious about what's going on. Oh, and the grammar in the past chapters seem to be a little off, especially with tenses, but I think you mentioned that you realized that. It would probably be wise to go back and fix that, so that it makes it easier for new readers.Author's Response: The problem with people who don't have memories is that they need to be watched because they are in danger a lot. Especially if you have been in a coma for a long time, so you are unaccustomed to new technology and such.
Normally Lily would have been kept in her hospital room, but this particular time the doctor's needed Hermione to prove herself, being new and such. Especially since she wasn't as prepared for the job as they were and they are a bit resentful that she got away with it. And Lily's particular amnesia isn't permanent, therefore the memories will come back, they just don't know when. So Hermione isn't aware at the moment that Lily is having flashbacks.
Hope that helped! Report Review
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